ramblings of a teenager going through an existential crisis

A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walks into a bar and order drinks.
	“We don’t sell alcohol to anyone under 18”, says the bartender.
	To which the nihilist replies: “Let us leave, my fellow intellectuals. For one day this bar will crumble into rubble like Ozymandias in the desert.”
	The bartender laughs and moves over to another customer.
	Socialists and neo-marxists are equally as ideological and fallacious as nihilists, but I will not be defining them due to time restraints. If you want to, you can always look it up on Google or your dictionary. Because the focus of this talk is about the nihilist, the one guy in conversations who always voices out his opinions on the absurdity of existence and how we’re all going to die one day in a semi-ironic-i-actually-kind-of-highkey-wanna-die-right-now way. Sometimes it’s just fun and jokes, but when does something stop being a joke and start to be a cry for help?
	If you’re still confused as to what a nihilist is, a nihilist is a person who believes that life is meaningless and rejects all religious and moral principles. Yes, people like this exist. In fact, they have been here since the beginning of intellectual thinking, mostly philosophy. Ancient philosophers like Plato and Aristotle (who studied under Plato) focused on the most basic and simple aspects of philosophical thinking, and moved on to the study of outer space in an attempt to find out what was beyond our planet in a time where human technology was as complex as a rock thrown into whistling brook. Then came Gorgias, the Nihilist (not even kidding, that’s what he was called during his time), who is considered to be the original edgelord. He is famous for the saying: “Nothing exists. If anything did exist it could not be known. If it was known, the knowledge of it would be incommunicable.” That really gets your gears spinning, huh? Take note that he existed before Christ, 483BC to 378BC exactly. Whereas Aristotle was focused on looking at the stars with the intent to learn and discover, a nihilist like Gorgias would look at the stars and say: “Damn. We’re really just floating in space right now. Holy crap. What would happen if all those shiny things up there stop shining one day?” If nihilism came this early into human thought, then there was bound to be a new generation of nihilists from which one of the first examples of modern nihilism come from. I’m talking Nietzsche. The all-too famous O.G. edgelord who said that God was dead, and that we killed him. He was controversial for allegedly inspiring Hitler’s own philosophy of rising above and becoming the perfect man, the ubermensch who does not follow the doctrine of good and evil and makes his own rules as to what is beyond good and evil. Or in simple terms, an Aryan.
	Hitler was huge fan of Nietzsche, and even sent a bouquet of flowers to Nietzsche’s sister, gave his sister (again) a wreath for Nietzsche’s grave carrying the words: “To A Great Fighter”. In return, Nietzsche’s sister gave Hitler her brother’s favorite walking stick. Very wholesome. As much as people want to associate Nietzsche with anti-semitism and Nazism, he was very much the opposite. He loved the Jews and despised the German socialist movement. In fact, one could say that the Nazis misread Nietzsche’s writings the same way an angsty teenager would.
	Most teenagers nowadays are faced with a lot of problems. Bad grades, failed romances, bullying, pressure built up by college, and a lot of other things that cause them to be moody most of the time. If someone you know is going through a rough patch right now, go to them and help them get out of the rut they are in before it turns into nihilism. Nihilism can be really crippling to a person’s functionality, especially if brought on by hopelessness, anxiety, depression and all the saddest feelings in the world all blended together in a bitter concoction.
	These teenagers see the world in a much darker shade as compared to other teenagers that have gone through and survived this phase of short-lived but intense nihilism. When everything is wrong for you, every day is filled by cynicism; you cannot manage to trust anyone but yourself. Then, that cynicism evolves into loneliness, and that loneliness mutates into nihilism. You see no point in waking up every single day. You think that you’ll be forgotten no matter what you achieve in life. You think that everything you do is meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Well, that’s depressing and all, but it’s actually not surprising if you really look at how morbid and chaotic modern life can be.
	Life can have multiple aspects. Physical, emotional, psychological to name a few. All of these aspects can be crippled by the invasion of nihilistic ideologies in young people’s thought processes. Someone may not be happy about how their body looks like and that insecurity leads them to believe that they are worthless and ugly. And that physical self-awareness can also be a starting ground for bullies and use it as an opening to hurt that person’s feelings more, which affects their emotional stability. Which then starts to affect their psychological well-being. Once an aspect of your life is pervaded by negativity, there is a huge chance that the negativity is converted into nihilism, especially if said person turns to nihilism as a coping mechanism.
	What becomes of these teenagers are quite the tragedy. Remember Dylan and Eric? There have been several investigations on the Columbine High School Massacre, and a lot of it points to the psychological trouble that the two have been experiencing at that time. Three months after the massacre, the FBI convened a summit in Leesburg, Virginia, that included world-renowned mental health experts, including Michigan State University psychiatrist, Dr. Frank Ochberg, as well as supervisory Special Agent Dwayne Fuselier, the FBI’s lead Columbine investigator and a clinical psychologist. They believe they know why Dylan and Eric killed, and their explanation is both more reassuring and more troubling than the usual misguided conclusions that we usually see when reading about the Columbine shooting. They stated that Dylan was a depressive and that Eric was a psychopath. Okay, this may be extremely morbid but these two are perfect real-life examples for what I am aiming to show you today.
	First we have Eric Harris, considered to be a psychopath by those who investigated the psychological elements of the rationale behind the shooting. He had his journal filled with diatribes expressing his hatred for the world and everyone else. But it wasn’t hate that stemmed from bullying or anything, rather a messianic hatred; in other words, he was disgusted with the world and the morons that inhabit it. Coupled with his frequent lying, which was also for his pleasure, the psychiatrists that examined Harris’ thought process concluded that Harris shot up his classmates and teachers by his own choice and free will. If that doesn’t sound nihilistic enough to you, I’ll reiterate it: a senior year student CHOSE to murder people. However let us not forget about his buddy Dylan Klebold.
	Not all nihilists are psychopaths and cold-blooded murderers like Patrick Bateman or Eric Harris. There are some who are depressive and filled with hopelessness. Thankfully, this type of nihilist is one that is easier to understand as compared to the psychopathic nihilist. Dylan is one of those depressed nihilists. He was severely depressed during the events building up to the shooting and was bullied along with his buddy Eric. Very sad. In fact, the two of them always felt left out of the going-ons in the high school at that time. They probably found solace in their company because they enable each other in weird way: Harris, the cold and calculating psychopath calmed down Klebold when he got angry. At the same time, Klebold’s fits of rage served as the stimulation Harris needed.
	That ain’t a pretty picture at all. Dead bodies in the library. Yikes. This is what may happen if you let that hopelessness and anger and all that negativity manifest into nihilism. The two shooters, in my opinion, showcase what a nihilist strives to be. Full of hate, has an insatiable appetite for destruction, and dead by their own hands. They thought they could show the world how much they hated it, but they end up dead, achieving nothing, other than giving their parents hell for the crimes they have committed. Is this the power they claim to have?
	You see, the internet can be really dumb sometimes. You can trust me on this, for I spend a lot of time on the internet. Putting aside all the idiocy and shamelessness that the internet showcases for the whole world to see, there was one time where I saw an anon post his thoughts about the human existence on a thread that was about another anon who has fallen into a dangerous state of total nihilism, also known as suicidal tendencies.
	This is what the anon said: Look, I’m a firm believer in nihilism – I believe nothing we do matters. Frankly, I could give two shits if you do it, to me, you’re just yet another face that won’t be remembered, like me, like everyone in this thread. We’re all just tiny embers of sparks in a giant inferno; all insignificant. But, that said, I still believe no man should kill himself because although we aren’t important, we should use our limited time to have a fucking laugh. Use the tiny amount of time you have to have fun. Yeah, you won’t care when you’re dead, but you may as well make your short life enjoyable, hey? Make some ripples, even if they only last for a few seconds. Yeah, we’re all embers of sparks in a giant inferno, but for that brief instant that you are a spark, burn like a fucking supernova.
	Excuse his French, but when I first read this, it struck me. Why would I waste my time thinking about inevitable death, when I could use this time to enjoy my life? And yes, there will be nihilists who would say that there is no counter argument to their beliefs, for nothingness and death is inevitable. That is true, however, you really should reconsider being so down and depressed all the time. The nihilist lives a lonely, miserable life and dies, while the existentially courageous person lives his life to the fullest despite its inevitable end. Which do you think sounds more appealing? Of course, a happy life is, and with that, most probably a happy death as well.
	Not only does this exhibit a type of positive nihilism, but also an unfettering courage to power through all the obstacles that life gives you. It’s the old saying: when life gives you lemons, you gotta make some lemonade. And that’s what really makes me sad. This is a statement that’s been regurgitated again and again that maybe even a pre-schooler might know it, yet for some reason, we lose a lot of teenagers to suicide every year. And that’s just from the United States data. Who knows how many teenagers are feeling trapped right now from every country in the world?
	This is the chaos that nihilism brings to the younger generation, the Nietzschean prophecy of the world falling into a pit of nihilism brought by the trends of postmodernism and deconstruction, an endless cycle of deconstructionists deconstructed by their own deconstructions of the meaning of life and all there is. I might sound insane, but believe me, the fact that many teenagers resort to acts of violence including suicide and school shootings and the like is far more terrifying than facing your own problems and taking responsibility for them.
	Fortunately, with the help of Dr. Peterson, many young individuals are learning to face existence with courage. Firstly, how does an alpha animal assert its dominance? By posing with a stance that sends a message of: fear me, for I am strong, and bringing me down will be a difficult task. This brings us to the first rule of overcoming teenage nihilism or nihilism in general: stand up straight with your shoulders back. Before you deconstruct (see what I did there?) this argument, don’t forget that we are animals ourselves, and that territorial animals have been doing this for millions of years and still survive to this day.
	The next rule is to treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. If you can’t help yourself, how can you help others? Simple as that. Learning to be responsible for yourself is essential in learning how to be responsible for others.
	Make friends with people who want the best for you. If your friends are people who genuinely care about your well-being, then you should keep them near to you. Eliminate all the toxic people in your life, and maybe you will be happier.
	Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. This one hits close to home to almost everyone. If you’re having self-doubt, look at who you were a couple of years ago. See how much you’ve learned and grown. If you do, you will see how much meaningful all your actions are in forming the person that you are today. And if you see your current self negatively, then make sure to improve on that.
	Clean your room before you criticize the world. This one is the most straightforward rules that you can use to overcome nihilism and hopelessness. Try cleaning your room. See how things are scattered around and how disordered everything is. Once you put them back into their right places, try to notice if anything’s different. Of course there’s going to be a huge difference. Treat your room like your brain. If your brain is organized and well-oiled, there is going to be less stress. If you get home and into your room and see that a hurricane has just ravaged all of your possessions into a mess, that’s going to induce all sorts of negative energy into your mind. And this also ties to the concept of: why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?
	Pursue what is meaningful. You should not spend your precious time on meaningless things and activities. Only pursue those that will impact your life in a meaningful way. In doing this, we avoid falling into the pit of nihilism with all the meaningless drivel that is shoved into our faces every day.
	Lastly, tell the truth. Or at least don’t lie. We all are guilty of telling lies. Don’t even pretend. To reduce chaos that leads into despair, do not create false paths of information that could lead to misunderstandings.
	If you follow all these rules, you might stand a chance against nihilism. And if you listened closely, you might know the true meaning of this speech. Which only a few people will get. Just another set to entertain a never neglecting ending. I’ve stared into the abyss for a long, long time. Yet still, I always manage to look away. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from staring at the abyss for too long, it’s this: The horror is terrifying. But if you befriend the horror, it will be an invaluable ally in the battlefield that is life.