aww beans

Speaking of totally fucked:

"Heeeeeey, sister! You've got some 'splaining to do," Alt Lup says, with saccharin smile and a murderous voice. She's sitting on the end of their bed, her legs swinging.

"Aw beans," Barry mumbles, low enough only for his Lup to hear.

"Why the fuckity are you in our room?" Lup asks.

"So not the problem here. The issue is," she gestures wildly towards Barry. "This! Also, I was gonna steal your clothes, pretend to be you, and scam some dipshits. Taako bet me one-hundo I couldn't fool Taako 420."

"Damn, that's a great idea, wish you had got me in on that."

Barry is a fish out of water. He clings to his girlfriend and considers disappearing.

"Nope! You're a liar Lup who kept secrets," once more, her hands flail in Barry's general direction, "from me, so you don't get to join my zany schemes. "

"This conversation would probably be a lot easier if I wasn't here, I think," Barry says. "So, uh. I'm gonna crash on the couch. Carry me back to bed when you're done?"

"You betcha, babe." She kisses him goodnight. "Sleep well."

Alt Lup can't deny that a part of her yearns for this - sleepy kisses and all that jazz. But that domesticity? Not her area of expertise, and she doesn't like doing things she's not good at.

Lup casts Silence. "That was my last spell slot, please appreciate my sacrifice. Just in case emotions get heated. "

"Why didn't you tell me about this? Woulda been nice to know that this dumb crush I have could turn into an actual... thing!"

"That's not what you'd think at first, though. You were shocked, right?"

"Nah, I was pretty chill! Other me has fucking moved in with Barry Bluejeans!"

"Mhm, so if other people were around and asked how you felt about Barold, what would you say?"

"Uh. Nothing, ch'girl would bolt."

"Barry would hear about that. He'll avoid you, because he really doesn't wanna make you uncomfortable, but he's still getting over you. And then it just all spirals," she says. "It's a delicate sort of thing. We... we didn't wanna spook you guys.

"I really want you to be wrong," alt Lup grumbles. She crawls under the covers."But, it's - I know now. So now I've gotta do something with that."

"What do you wanna do?"

Alt Lup laughs. "It's like your my fuckin' therapist. Well, the ideal is to skip all the awkward parts and have a nice relationship with him, but that ain't realistic. It's - we have such a good partnership, it feels selfish to risk that."

"No pain, no gain. No risk, no reward," Lup offers, like some tacky sign middle-aged soccer parents buy.