Red & Anon (Anon & Red) CYOA 2 (still needs editing)

>you woke up from a bad dream of being in a soggy, wet swamp with a green beast chasing you
>what greeted you were a pair of huge, turquoise eyes
=="…Feed me-"==
>instinctively you knee-jerk her off you
>Red fell off your bed with a thump
"Motherfucker!"
=="Oww! What the hay, anon?"==
"You don't just walk onto people's beds like that! I need some personal space, Jesus."
=="But you were sleeping, you weren't using your personal space!"==
"Alright, new rule. If I find you in my bedroom again I'm literally kicking you out of the house."
=="But you… Fine."==
"Good. Now get out. I need to get dressed."
>Red huffed but followed your orders
>you looked at your clock
>15:16
>you really need to get some control of your life



>getting dressed you walked downstairs only to see Red fumbling with your phone in her hooves
>you firmly snatch it from her flimsy grip
"Get your own phone."
=="Bah. Take it. It doesn't work anyways."==
"It works with fingers."
>you looked around for your wallet
>bingo
"C'mon. We're going for pizza"
=="Really?"==
>you look around in your jacket closet and fetch an old dog collar
"Ya. Now take this leach on."
=="...Really?"==
"Some people around here would see something like you walking around these parts and absolutely freak. So you're playing the role of my dog until we get back home."
>you got down to one knee and started attaching the dog collar around Red's neck
=="Well this is humiliating…"==
"Whatever. You're not staying in this house without me."
=="You don't trust me, Anon?"==
"Do I have any reason to?"
=="…"==


>going outside the sun immediately attacks your poor eyes
>Red seemed to really enjoy the sunshine though
>the walk is gonna take some time so you might as well bring some questions up
>or let her answer some of yours



"So how did you manage to get lost at sea?"
=="It's kinda blurry. I remember a boat-ride off the Saddle Arabian coast and a storm and- It gets fuzzy from there on out. The next thing I remember is this huge scary 'thing' in a creepy raincoat trying to bury me alive."==
"Yeah, sorry about that."
>Red kept walking firmly by your side as the two of you made your way to the baker's market
"What the hell are you anyway? What's 'Saddle Arabia'?"
"I'm a pony, duh. And Saddle Arabia is down south. You never heard of it?"
"What, do you mean Saudi Arabia?"
"Did I stutter?"
"There's no such thing as a 'Saddle Arabia', Red. I think you hit your head one too many times."
"Sure there is!"
"Is not."
"Is too!"
>you massaged your template in mild frustration
Were in Equestria are we were you've never heard of Saddle Arabia?
"Equestria? Is that like a farm were they train horses? Are you from there?"
"No, silly. It's the Capitol of the world."
>wat
"You're not an alien or anything, right?"
"No sirree, Equestrian, born and raised~!"
>you stopped and looked down on Red
>getting down on one knee you but your hands around her shoulders and stared her right in the eyes
"Red. I want you to try to remember what happened to you, as best you can. Can you do that for me?"
"I- There was a storm, it didn't look like any usual storms I've seen before, I- It came like a rolling thunder. You could see it for miles, it moved so fast. I don't know what else to tell you."
"Are there others like you in Equestria? Ponies that speak?"
"Yes, thousands, hundreds of thousands."
>you sigh
"Red. I don't think you're in Equestria anymore."
>Red gasped
"Well were am I?"
"Earth."
"Well that's an unoriginal name for a realm. Are your people Earth-lings? Earthians?"
"Humans."
"Why didn't you call this place Humania or Humling, or something like that? Why Earth?"
"Well, shit, Red. I didn't name it."
"Earth is a stupid name."
"Equestria is even stupider."
>she snorted and flashed you a smile
"So, you know any other ponies or what? I remember you say this leash thing was because your fellow hummies would freak if they saw me without it."
"I know two, we'll see them on our way to the pizza place."
"Then. Why did you say people would freak if they saw me? Is 'this'"
>Red signaled your attention to the collar around her neck
"Some kind of fetish thing you hummies do~?"
>spaghetti inbound
"Well the horses that I know don't talk. And about the collar. Ehh. Well… Yes and no. They're usually used for pets and stuff but-"
>Red gave you a sinister smile
"But what, Anon?"
"Sometimes it's used in the sexual sense by some people. But I wouldn't know anything about that."
>Red was still on the offensive
"And in what sense did leash me, Anon?"
"Don't get any smart ideas, Red, my barn door don't swing with animals."
"I was only joking, Anon. No need to get all flustered about it."


>you and Red continued to discuss Equestria
>Red told you a lot of bullshit about how they had these big ponies that controlled the sun and the moon
>she obiously hit her head too hard
>you finally arrived to the pizza place
>much to Red's dismay you tied her up to a post outside and told her to keep her mouth shut
>walking inside you figured this would be a nice time to decide what to order


>"Oh hi, Anon. Got a new dog?"
>the pizza clerk smiled
>you've known her for quite some time
>even crushed on her when you first met
"Uhh yeah, a pony actually."
>"Well that's a little strange for a pet, dontcha think?"
"He he he… Ehh, I heard ponies made good pets."
>the pizza clerk shrugged it off with another smile
>"So, whatcha want?"
"A large pepperoni and a small vegetable pizza."
>"You're not feeding the pony pizza, are you?"
"Yes I am. Why?"
>"Anon you goof! You're not supposed to give ponies pizza."
"Why not?"
>"It's not good for them."
"Eh it'll be alright."
>"Okay, if you say so.."
"You don't have any Buffalo Wings as well, do you?"
>"Pfft, no. We haven't sold those in years. Sorry, Anon."
>the clerk yelled out your orders to the chef in the kitchen
>"So. You gonna introduce us?"
"To the pony?"
>"Hell yeah to the pony. You know I love animals, Anon!"
"Uhh."
>"Just until the pizza's ready. Not like this place gets a lot of customers."
>fuck
>don't be weird, anon
"O-okay. Sure."
>"Yay!"


>you walked outside with the clerk
>"Oh my god she's adorable!"
>the clerk got down and squeezed Red's ears
>"Look at these ears, oh the eyes are beautiful!"
"Yeah she's a pretty pony."
>"Were did you FIND this?! I've never seen a pony like this before!"
"It's a Saudi Arabian pony. Very rare."
>"Awe, she's so cute."
>you could see Red was enjoying the affection
>thankfully she remembered to refrain from talking
>the female clerk started giving Red ear-rubs
>Red leaned her entire head into her palm as the clerk kept coddling her
>the chef barked at the clerk from the kitchen about the kitchen
"Looks like pizza's ready."
>the clerk pouted and almost had to force herself off Red
>much to Red's dismay
>she seemed to really enjoy being petted

>the lady came out with your pizzas
>"That's one big pepperoni and a small veggie for my little mare!"
>Red whinnied in delight
>"What's her name?"
"Her name is Red."
>"Red, huh. Well it was nice to meet you, Red."
>Red nickered as a response
>"We got to do this again sometime. If you're ever feeling that rumble only pizza can satisfy, treats on me. If you let me play with Red."
>sweet
>free pizza
"Deal!"

>you and Red went on your merry way home

>the two of you sat down on your couch
>you made sure to make Red wipe her dirty-ass hooves before entering your house
>stupid horse knew nothing of basic human decency it seems
>you went over to your fridge and cracked open a few beers
>if she's old enough to be lewd she's old enough to drink
"Hey Red, you want a beer?"
"Sure, Anon. What's a beer?"
"Alcohol."
"Like Ale, or cider?"
"Kind of."
>you handed her the beer and Red grabbed her with both hooves
"Mff. Pretty bad, Anon."
"It's not for everyone."
"Let's get to the pizza! I've never tasted Earth-pizza before."
"Alrighty then."
>you open up her pizza box and shove it over to her while hogging the pepperoni one for yourself
>Red, being an unsophisticated, thumb-less swine ate using only her face
"Mhhh Mmmmm yum~!"
>gross
"O M A, this is delicious. These green peppers are the best thing ever!"
"Glad you like them."
=="Speaking of like. What was up with that she-human you talked to?"==
"Oh nothing."
>Red kept chomping down pizza like a beast
>remind yourself to buy a bigger one for her should you order pizza again
=="She had soft hands. Are you guys dating?"==
"What? No! We're just friends, kind of. We know each other, not really friends."
"Did you mean what you said back there?"
"Said what?"
"That you think I'm a pretty pony?"
"Ehh sure."
"You don't seem to enthusiastic."
"I'm not an enthusiastic person."
>you opened your pizza box
>you scowled
"What's up, Anon?"
"She wrote her number in the box."
"Number?."
"Her phone number."
"Human mating ritual?"
"Something like that."
>Red flinched a bit
>just enough to notice
"I see. Good for you, anon."

>you still had quite a few hours before bed time and should probably find something to do



"C'mon, we're gonna watch a movie."
"A little late to go to the theaters, don't you think?"
"Not like that, you guys don't have streaming in Equestria?"
"Streaming? Like a lake?"
"Nevermind."
>you pull out your computer and with a few keystrokes you're set
"Pick one."
"What?"
>you point at the screen
"See those pictures? They're movies we can watch. Pick one that looks fun."
"I don't understand. Do you have a film projector? Those are expensive."
"No, just fucking pick one."
"Oh, okay."
>Red studied the page with intensity before lighting up like a bulb
"That one!"
>really?
"You sure?"
"Yes! It looks awesome!
"Alright, Pirates of the Caribbean it is. Let me just start it up real quick. Can you get me another beer from the fridge in the meanwhile?"
"Sure."
…
"Were's your kitchen?"
>you point
"Over there."
"Alright!"
>dumb pony picked the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie
>you're sure she won't notice if you fire up the far superior first movie instead
>sticking the HBMI into your shitty TV you sit down and prepare for best Pirate movie made this decade
"Hmmfff uu mff mammom."
"Thanks, Red"
>Red let go of the beer in your hand
>it's covered in pony spit
>gross
>you need to remember that she doesn't actually have hands
"Do you have any popcorn?"
"No."
>you sip your beer and hit play
>the movie opens with Elizabeth Swann rescuing Will Turner
>you look down at Red who seems oddly fixated on the television
>they probably only have shitty projectors and stuff back in Equestria
>this must be like magic to her
>funny, seeing how she mentioned how Equestria was populated with ponies that could do magic
>obvious bullshit but whatever
"Oh! Oh! Who's that?!"
"That's Jack Sparrow. The pirate."
>Red's face lid up like that of a little kid
"Cool!"
>the movie went on
>In the scene were Jack escapes the Navy in Port Royal Red spoke up
"This movie is awesome! Does the Royal Navy ever give you trouble, Anon?"
"Not really."
"They remind me of some prunes back home, they wore gold instead of red coats though."
"Equestria has a navy?"
"Sort of, you could say that yeah."
"Interesting."
>can ponies even swim?
>hmm
>one of those things you've never given enough of a shit to consider
"So. Why gold out at sea? Is it to pay for their funerals or something?"
"Heh, I wish. It's their armor."
"That's fucking stupid, Red. Why would anyone wear golden armor at sea? They'd sink like stone. Hell, why golden armor in general?"
"You tell me."
"You ponies aren't the brightest bunch."
"If it works, don't change it."
>you huffed
>dumb fucking horses and their dumb fucking golden armor


>the movie continued with the assortment of "Ohh's" and "Ahh's" coming from Red
>she genuinely seemed to love this movie
>you've seen it one too many times to be surprised by anything that happens
>Red particularly enjoyed looking at the women in the fancy dresses and sword-fights
>she also appeared to be crushing on Johnny Depp
>throughout the movie she spouted tons of questions about this Jack Sparrow fellow
>you'd imagine she'd climax all over your couch should she ever feast her eyes upon the God-Man that is Nicholas Cage
>you shuddered at the thought

>with the movie nearing it's end you should probably decide what to do with Red
>you had duties outside the house tomorrow and therefore could not watch her
>you could always kick her out
>she might nick your shit and leave or something
>and you don't feel like you owe her anything
>sure, you did try to bury her alive
>but she'd been dead anyways if you hadn't found her out at sea
>food isn't free either so if you decide to keep her around you should probably think of a way for her to make herself more useful

>blah blah blah skruglingtons defeated movie over
>Red tapped her hooves in delight
"Freaking amazing! That actually happened?"
>no
"Yes."
"Oh boy. You earth-folk are pretty cool."
>you nodded
>busy saving the store clerk's number
>what was her name again?
>eh, it doesn't matter
Just kidding, first reply to this post gets to choose the name cause i'm horrible at names
"Red."
"Mhhm?"
"How about you stay with that nice lady tomorrow?"
"You're kicking me out?"
"Huh? No. Not yet at least. I got some places to be and I don't want you alone in the house."
"I'm a grown mare. I can take care of myself."
"Damn Red, I fished you up at sea days ago, there's no way i'm letting you stay here unsupervised. I don't even know just what the fuck you are."
"How many times do I need to tell you I'm a pony."
"You sure as shit don't look like any kind of pony I've seen."
"So that's it huh? You don't trust me?"
"Would you trust me if the tables were turned? "
>Red tapped her chin with a hoof
"Yes. If you felt comfortable falling asleep in the same room as me I'd figure you trusted me enough for me to trust you."
"Bullshit."
"It's true."
"Well you can never be too careful with talking animals."
"I am NOT an animal, Anon."
>Oh, looks like you hit a nerve
"You're an animal, Red. Are ponies not animals?"
"Well, then you're an animal too!"
"Pfft. Fine by me, Red. I don't give a shit."
>fucking women

>looks like Red's not too fond of being treated as a pet
>maybe something else is in order
>fuck if you know

>calm down, anon you're being an asshole
"Look Red, I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd react like that. This is a stupid thing to argue over anyways."
*sigh* "It's fine, Anon. I just overreacted I guess."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Animals are dumb creatures, slaves to instinct and when they're not, they're property."
"So, is this a problem in Equestria?"
>Red kicked her hooves up on your table and leaned back
"Some places, I try to keep my nose out of politics but nothing is more heartbreaking than seeing a pony being forced to work, sweat and bleed for something he does not believe in. "
"What did you do back in Equestria? Work wise I mean?"
>Red grinned
"Heh, I was my own boss, that's for sure. A soldier of fortune if you will."
>so they DID have wars
"'Course, that wasn't all of it. Hunting, sailing, trading. Anything to get by, so in that aspect I was more of a handymare, really."
"I thought all you Equestrians did was eat flowers and dance on rainbows, based on what you've told me."
"Aye. But my place of business lay beyond the boarders of her Royal majesties, a less civil place were a dream and some hoofwork can get you very far."
"Interesting, I wouldn't have guessed that you were such a risk taker."
"And what makes you say that?"
"You look too much like a stuffed animal to possibly intimidate someone."
"You know looks can be deceiving."
"Oh?"
>Red snorted
"Nevermind, Anon."
"So what is this dream you mentioned?"
"Jaysus, Anon. I didn't know you were THAT interested in my life."
"You're from a crazy-ass land filled with talking ponies. If anything I haven't asked enough questions."
"That's fair I'm just not used to poni- people sitting down to have a chat."
"Always on the move, huh?"
"You could say that."
"About your dream. What purpose do you have being a solider of fortune when you could just eat flowers and shit back in Equestria proper?"
"Do humans seek no thrills or adventure? The thought of being a boring old hag, growing old while I maintain my little flower-shop… Bleh. If I could vomit I would."
"Ahh I see. You're looking for excitement in your life. "
"Bingo! And bits, lots and lots of bits."
>Red turned over to you
>any indication of your fight, gone in her eyes
=="So how about you, Anon? What's your dream?"==


"My dream is to save the world from rich and powerful people who want to control it and exploit everyone."
"That's sweet but do you intend to keep it just a dream or act on it?"
"Don't know yet."
"Well that's too bad. All bark and no bite, anon?"
"Haven't really given it too much thought, I have goals and aspirations but I don't have that many dreams."
"Why is that?"
"Because dreams are just your memories being organized and processed. When you dream you can't do much of anything for anyone."
>Red paused
"I guess I've never thought of it like that, anon."
>Red spoke up jokingly
"You hummies are way too dumb to practice philosophy by the way."
"That's rich coming from a pony, the same type of pony stupid enough to actually use golden armor."
"Well, yes. The golden armor is stupid, man. Get over it. I bet you don't even use armor."
"We do."
"And what might that be?"
"Titanium chains, Kevlar and ceramic plating. Stuff like that."
"What?"
"I don't know the exact science behind it but it stops bullets."
"Neat. We ponies usually stick to pointy things when it comes to fighting. Things that shoots bullets are rare and far between."
"We stooped using pointy things hundreds of years ago."
"Nice! What kinds of wacko future weapons do you guys use?"
"Tell you what, how about we go out back one day and i'll show you."
"I'd like that."
>Red's optimism was stifled with a yawn
=="This late already?=="
"It's not that late."
"I woke up earlier than you though."
>fair point
"Just, go to bed, Red. I got some stuff to do anyways."
"Alright, anon. Catch you tomorrow."
>Red walked circles around on top of your couch before finding a comfy place to cradle down in
>you grabbed your laptop and headed upstairs
"Night, Anon."
"Nighty, Red."



>laying down in your bed you decide to google search ponies to find more about Red and her kind
>'My Little Pony'
>sugary sweet stock vectors, totally useless
>'My Little Pony info'
>a wiki and some bratz dolls, again. Not what you were looking for
>'My little Pony in real life'
>a bunch of ponies being Photoshoped in real-life pictures, again, not quite

>you spent a couple of minutes continually punching in search-words
>maybe that 8chan has some information
>you remember those horsefuckers knew their ponies
>porn
>lots of it
>well, shit
>not badly drawn though
>no, bad anon!
>horse is not for sexual
>they're animals, for fuck's sake
>your mind wanders back to Red's protests over being labeled an animal
>maybe, not animals after all
>fuck, this website is bad for you
>you close the laptop and decide to go to bed