DiverseWorldWarTwoichi (Patrick Söderlund vs. the Internet)

DiverseWorldWarTwoichi (Patrick Söderlund vs. the Internet)

Original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqO5lNS094M (Hyakugojyuuichi) / https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP9N-7l-ZCk (Scientlolojyuuichi)
Instrumental: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br7v9WPrMQU (could be better)

[Söderlund]

Hey, gamers, gather 'round
And watch the trailer for our new game
See our artists' awesome CG?
I'm going to tell you about how Battlefield 5 is better:
Adding more diversity!

So just preorder, we have a black guy with a katana,
Just pay 60 to 80 bucks
Then you can have your pick of gender, race, prosthetic limbs
We promise it doesn't suck

Now get woke and say that you support disabled
Women fighting World War Two
Praise DICE and EA who made you a game
That's worth playing as long as you pay up!

It's not total fiction, look, the Russians used 'em
They had female snipers and tank crews!

And all our true fans know that diversity
Matters more than historicity
And our diversity is paving the way
As long as you play, we can't be wrong!

[Journalists]

Our shooter games were full of white men and we had to fix it
Now there's diversity
There's evidence that many queer black women with robot hands
Fought for Nazi Germany!

And now we know the truth that cis white men erased the records
Proving that most Germans were brown!
And DICE EA, we know, are developers that we can trust
It's the greatest studio around!

We get woke and say that we support disabled
Women fighting World War Two
Praise DICE and EA who made us a game
That's worth playing as long as we pay up!

It's not total fiction, check the French resistance
Well known for frontline infantry troops

And all us true fans know that diversity
Is opposed only by true Nazis
And their diversity is paving the way
As long as we play, they can't be wrong!

[Söderlund/Journalists]

We [make/like] realistic games where you parkour while
Firing MG42s!
Praise DICE and EA who made [you/us] a game
That's worth playing as long as [you/we] pay up!

It's not total fiction, just look at the British
And their women's auxilary groups

And all [our/us] true fans know that diversity
Makes [our/this] game more like reality
And our diversity is paving the way
As long as [you/we] play, [we/they] can't be wrong!

(Buy now, buy now, buy now, money money! [repeated])

And all [our/us] true fans know that diversity
Is sorely lacking in the industry
And [our/their] diversity is paving the way
As long as [you/we] play, [we/they] can't be wrong!