Scientific Theory

Nov 11th, 2019
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  1. >Be Twilight Sparkle
  2. >Be very, very annoyed
  3. >You shouldn't be
  4. >In fact, you should be both happy and excited
  5. >There was an alien in the capital
  6. >An alien from a whole other world
  7. >One that you could learn from, could teach, and could help make Equus a better place for all
  8. >And, to be fair, they could still do that
  9. >But there was an issue
  10. >He--yes, a he--was a lazy bones
  11. >You knew lazy bones
  12. >Spike and even Shining had trouble getting up in the mornings
  13. >But him?
  14. >If he got up before noon you were surprised
  15. >For some lazy college frat mare that would be fine, but he was an ambassador of his species, a fucking alien!
  16. >He had meetings, events, ponies to see and places to go!
  17. >With his schedule there were nowhere near enough hours in the day, and you were a mare that liked to keep a tight, orderly schedule
  18. >Everything would be fine it he got up earlier
  19. >Seven, six o'clock at the earliest
  20. >But you couldn't get him up
  21. >If he were a mare you'd just pick him up out of bed and give him a little shake, but he was a colt
  22. >So, for the past two months--TWO MONTHS--you've had to go to his room and fight with him to get up
  23. >Every morning
  24. >Seven days a week
  25. >Today was going to be just like the others, and you were about to rip your fucking mane out of your skull
  26. >At that moment you stood near Anon's bed
  27. >The human's blanket was on the floor next to you
  28. >A sock--just thrown--was perched on your horn
  29. >Anon's eyes was closed, and if it weren't for the air horn you were blowing even ten seconds he'd be right back asleep
  30. >The air horn had worked at first, but he was starting to get used to it
  31. >A few more days and he might start sleeping right through it
  32. "Anon, get up," you commanded
  33. >Of course, the colt didn't move a muscle
  34. "Anon. I swear to Celestia. Get your butt up right now!" you said, stomping a hoof.
  35. >Anon shifted, rolling onto his side away from you
  36. >You blew your air horn at his back
  37. >He didn't so much as twitch
  38. >Your tail flicked in frustration
  39. "Anon. Anon? ANON!"
  41. >You took a deep breath
  42. >"AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNOOOOOONNNNNN," you screamed, blowing the air horn until it ran on empty
  43. >Breathing hard, you tossed it away
  44. >You'd never, ever hit a colt, but today you were really, reaaaaaaaly thinking about it
  45. >Taking a step toward him, you took a deep breath, ready to start screaming again
  46. >Before you could, Anon rolled back over to face you
  47. >Both eyes were open, though half-lidded and hazy with sleep
  48. >"Twilight?" he said
  49. "What?!" you said.
  50. >"I suggest a truce."
  51. "Truce? TRUCE?! No, what you need to suggest is getting up so we can speak to the Mayor of Manehattan today, just like you promised to do last night!"
  52. >Anon was quiet for a long time, just staring at you
  53. >"Are you familiar with the term classical conditioning?"
  54. >The question was so far out from left field that most of your anger evaporated
  55. >Still, you kept on your guard
  56. >This wasn't the first time Anon had tried to talk his way into getting you out of the room
  57. >Despite being very lazy, he was rather well spoken, which made this all the more frustrating
  58. "What? Of course I have. Why?"
  59. >"Did you know we humans discovered it when a man named Ivan Pavlov was doing research with his dog. The long-short of it was that after months of training, he was able to make the animal salivate by just ringing a bell."
  60. "Anon, what in Celestia's name does this have anything to do with anything?" you asked
  61. >"I think to get us both what we want the pavlovian method might need to be used," he explained. "You need to condition me to get up."
  62. "That's what I've been trying to do," you countered. "Why do you think I spend an hour in your bedroom everyday making you get up."
  63. >"Negative reinforcement isn't going to get the results you want," Anon said, shaking his head. "It's just going to make me dig my heels in. You need to make it so that we both benefit from this."
  64. >You frowned
  65. "So you want a trade?"
  67. >"Yes, and no. I more of want to test something out and see if it works. Lets call me testing a hypothesis."
  68. >You took a deep breath
  69. "Alright... I'm listening."
  70. >"I need to be trained to get up earlier, so you'd have to come in to wake me up--"
  71. "Which you shouldn't need because you're a full grown stallion."
  72. >"--like you normally do, but I suggest we do some things different."
  73. >Anon scooched toward the middle of his bed
  74. >"Come on, hop in. I'll show you what I mean. Bring that blanket back over here too please."
  75. >Still very suspicious, you did as you were told, leaping into the bed and giving the blanket to the human
  76. >He threw it over the both of you so that just your heads could be see
  77. "If you try to go back to sleep I swear I'm gonna scream."
  78. >"Shush," Anon said, booping your muzzle. "Now, what I suggest that you wake me up by crawling into the bed like this and straddling me."
  79. "What? Why would I--"
  80. >"Come on," he said, nudging your side. "Just follow me and we'll do a live demo. Pretend that I'm asleep."
  81. >Rolling your eyes, you pushed the human onto his back
  82. >Throwing the blanket off the two of you, you straddled his middle
  83. >Thankfully, nopony was anywhere near this bedroom, otherwise you'd have to answer some very awkward questions
  84. "Alright, now what?"
  85. >"Doing this both gets the blanket off me and has a weight that I can't ignore," Anon said, placing a hand on your hips
  86. >He tried to push you off, but you just pushed out your legs, using your wings to balance yourself
  87. >"This will wake me up, so I'd have to do this--"
  88. >Anon, holding you by the middle, rolled you both over so that you were on your back and he loomed over you
  89. >You didn't make a noise, those your cheeks felt a little warm as you stared up at him, still frowning
  90. >"The movement will have me nearly all the way awake. If I have something to do that'll wake me completely up, no matter how early you want to start," Anon continued, hands still on your sides, right under your wings
  91. >You squirmed
  93. >It would be easy to throw the human off you if you wanted, foalishly easy, but you figured you'd humor him
  94. "And what would that extra activity be?" you asked
  95. >"Cunnalingus," Anon said, looking you in the eyes
  96. >You squinted
  97. "...What?"
  98. >"Sexual activity will wake me right up, and I've never been with a girl before, horse or otherwise, so I'd like to practice," Anon told you. "It's also supposed to not only put someone in a better mood, but strengthen relationships. I learn something, you stop being so upset, we stop hating each other when that sun comes up."
  99. >You opened your mouth, then closed it
  100. >Honestly, you had no idea what to say
  101. >"In exchange I'd like us to try other sexual things, since like I said I'd like to learn. It doesn't have to be in the morning, but I'd like to make time for doing something an hour or two at least once a week. I'd also like to cuddle for at least twenty minutes after each time I get you off, since you ponies look like you'd be good to snuggle."
  102. >Shrugging, Anon rolled off of you
  103. >"That's what I ask. Let's test this and see if it works. You get something from it, I get something from it, and we can do it as long as we need to until the wanted results. What do you say? Deal?"
  104. >You stared up at the ceiling, hooves pressed against your chest
  105. >This was a very weird way to be propositioned...
  106. >You also had no idea that Anon was a virgin
  107. >Could colts even BE virgins?
  108. >Was this some kind of trick?
  109. >Because you still have a feeling that tomfoolery was afoot
  110. >Then you realized you were being fucking dumb
  111. >A colt just gave you verbal permission
  112. >He wanted to eat you out, something that only dykes did to each other
  113. >Every. Day.
  114. >He also wanted to fuck
  115. >Willingly
  116. >He wanted to learn, which insinuated he wanted you to TEACH HIM
  117. >You were a smart mare, not a dumb one
  118. >You weren't fucking this up
  119. "Deal," you said, reaching over and shaking his hand
  121. >Decades pass
  122. >Twilight becomes the Queen of Equestria
  123. >With the title power and fame come with it
  124. >Stallions, from the lowest commoner to the highest lord send letters declaring love
  125. >Stallions, chosen from birth and bred to be wed to the alicorn beg her for a chance
  126. >Stallions that are gorgeous, wealthy, and sometimes even intelligent
  127. >Twilight is always gentle with her letdowns, as her old mentor used to be ages past
  128. >Ponies thought the alicorn just wished to stay aloft, but that wasn't true
  129. >She just didn't see the need
  130. >She had Anon
  131. >Anything and everything she wanted to do sexually she could, and had, done with the stallion
  132. >Things that she had fantasized about when she was a teenager, things she had read in her books, things she invented; she had done it all with him
  133. >Years and years and years of trains, molding him into the perfect partner
  134. >Literally nopony in Equestria knew her body like he did, and it didn't seem like that would change any time soon
  135. >Magic seemed to have given the human immortality
  136. >He was as young as he had been when they had met, and would alway be so
  137. >A friend that wouldn't wither and die
  138. >It was comforting, lovely even
  139. >Every morning, the alicorn walked her halls an hour or so before she needed to raise the sun
  140. >Always, she could greet any of her little ponies she passed, stop to ask how they were doing, ask them about their families
  141. >Then she would go to the west wing of the castle, into a familiar bedroom
  142. >Even after one hundred years, Anon was a late sleeper
  143. >She was much bigger now, but even so she climbed into the bed and straddled him
  144. >She could almost see her cutiemark poking out from the top of his underwear
  145. >Something she had done years ago, magically branding him with her cutiemark above the groin
  146. >In ages past that would have been seen as a mare enslaving a colt, claiming him as her property
  147. >For her, it had been an utter thrill, and even now just the thought of it sent shivers down her spine
  149. >She had feel just how hard he is as she climbs on top of him
  150. >She can feel her nethers tingle, moistening in anticipation
  151. >Today was when she had a few hours cleared in her schedule
  152. >They could, and would fool around to their heart's content
  153. >Today she was feeling like some transformation was in order, maybe she could also put herself in a state of heat?
  154. >Wings unfurled, she leaned down, kissing Anon's cheek
  155. >Anon's eyes flicked open, the human wide awake
  156. "Morning," she whispered
  157. >Grabbing her sides, Anon rolled both of them over
  158. >He kissed her cheek, then her neck, then buried his face into her tuft
  159. >Twilight spread her back legs, eagerly waiting for the most skilled tongue on Equus to do it's work
  160. "Morning," he replied
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