Dispatch009 - Today at 9:39 PM
Look...
I am scared of what AspiringCurie could pose to the server
Me included
and any new members who get too passionate about this sort of thing
We are...
dangerous to ourselves
and to others if we can't control it.
So why do you believe that it's okay for us to "self endow" the Support title?
Zen - Today at 9:44 PM
We have had a lot of people come through with similar episodes. As a mental health server we expect such rocky moments from time to time, and we deal with them as they arise
New members yes can be overzealous or inexperienced, but the only way to gain those things is by being allowed the opportunity
The support tag can be taken on aand off and we can ban people from giving support if they prove problematic
we always work with our supports to improve everyone and help them support at the best of their ability
but many people pop in off the street and already know how to talk to people, we don't have to teach them
that's what i'm trying to foster here: connections amongst people who have had similar experiences
we're not offering anything official and everything is understood to be casual in that regard
it's a grab bag, and we do our best
so, that's why
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:48 PM
sigh
But then
what happens when someone like AspiringCurie pushes themself to suicide?
Zen - Today at 9:48 PM
Pushes themself how
by supporting?
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:49 PM
Supporting and "failing"
Zen - Today at 9:49 PM
but we can't avoid that feeling, it happens a thousand times a day in daily life
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:49 PM
i realise that
but what do you ACTUALLY do about it?
Zen - Today at 9:50 PM
When someone is suicidal?
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:50 PM
yes
and they're a Support
They will end up abusing their power to get their way
Zen - Today at 9:50 PM
The same thing we do for everyone else
No, no one has
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:50 PM
more chat rooms to complain in
Zen - Today at 9:50 PM
absolutely not
The Haven has been here a year and I've not seen people do that
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:51 PM
Yet
AspiringCurie
needed a time-out
Zen - Today at 9:51 PM
so?
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:51 PM
is that really ok?
Zen - Today at 9:51 PM
yes?
why wouldn't it be?
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:51 PM
it just feels like
the rules... the server...
the people in it
it can feel very confusing
Zen - Today at 9:52 PM
for a support to seek support?
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:52 PM
like...
to be rational
right now... I have Vulcan
He's just threatened to kill himself again
I've had AspiringCurie tell me she wanted to die thrice in the span of 12 hours
Zen - Today at 9:53 PM
ok
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:53 PM
Do you think it's really okay for unstable people to be doing this?
Zen - Today at 9:53 PM
Yes, I do
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:53 PM
Cuz I don't feel in control at all
Zen - Today at 9:53 PM
Then don't support
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:53 PM
I don't feel like I'm learning to be anything apart from a clinician
Zen - Today at 9:54 PM
pull back
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:54 PM
aim
and fire at the clay pidgeon
Zen - Today at 9:55 PM
Ok, so I would suggest that after your support, you should maybe step back from supporting
if you're feeling out of control
we rely largely on people self reporting and being able to assess when they're in a place to give support and when they aren't
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:56 PM
But really... it's people like AspiringCurie who CAN'T figure that out for themselves
or rather, can't refrain themselves
Then what?
Kick them from the Support group? And worsen their anxiety over it all?
Zen - Today at 9:57 PM
That honestly hasn't been an issue and when it begins to look like an issue we talk with people
sometimes yes people get kicked out
y ou have to be healthy enough for a group to participate
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:57 PM
But what are the chances that the people who got kicked out have actually passed away?
Zen - Today at 9:57 PM
We can't know
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:58 PM
I think "fairly high, considering the demography of this group"
Zen - Today at 9:58 PM
I don't think it's safe to assume that either
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:58 PM
Isn't this harmful to just shrug your shoulders...
Zen - Today at 9:58 PM
I'm not shrugging my shoulders
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:58 PM
and just say "I haven't a clue how powerful this server is to some people"
?
Zen - Today at 9:58 PM
OK, what's your point
what do you want me to do
delete the server?
retool our ENTIRE system because you disagree with it?
maybe you can spend more than a couple days here
and then decide
but i've been doing this every day for over a year now
and I have a pretty firm grasp on what's been working and what hasn't
Dispatch009 - Today at 9:59 PM
No system is perfect
Zen - Today at 10:00 PM
I never claimed that
Dispatch009 - Today at 10:00 PM
No
I never said that you said it
It was just a thought that popped into my head
I'm just thinking
Being a hollow brain for a min
Do you agree with the sentiment, "I can only help those who I can help. No more, no less."?(edited)
Zen - Today at 10:05 PM
In general I suppose
Dispatch009 - Today at 10:05 PM
How about, "Those I let slip through my hands are those I may not be able to help." ?
Zen - Today at 10:06 PM
No, those who I have not been able to help might find help elsewhere, it's not entirely up to me
no one is slipping through my hands
Dispatch009 - Today at 10:06 PM
I never said that they would be lost forever
I just said that... as one woman/man... if someone falls through the cracks, would you think that you may not have been able to help?(edited)
Zen - Today at 10:07 PM
I'd think that maybe I didn't get a chance to help like I could or maybe I wasn't th e right person to help
Dispatch009 - Today at 10:08 PM
So... you agree with my sentiment?
Zen - Today at 10:08 PM
but if you can helpp 100 people, and you miss 1
your good still outweighs the lack
without this NO one gets help
so I'm not sure what you're getting at
and honestly don't appreciate the grilling
so if you have a point please get to it.
Dispatch009 - Today at 10:09 PM
The point is... why do you feel as if it's morally justified to allow those you can't help permission to leave?(edited)
Zen - Today at 10:10 PM
Because it's not about morals
you can't help everyone
Dispatch009 - Today at 10:10 PM
Is it ethics, then?
I'm not grilling
just wanting to understand how you think
You, as server master
How do YOU want to run the ship
That's what I'm figuring out
Not a personal attack
Just finding things out
If you wanna leave it here, then fine
Zen - Today at 10:11 PM
and I think I've told you, a few times
Dispatch009 - Today at 10:11 PM
Then fine
We're done here
Thank you for your time
I hope this all goes well for you
and that this server keeps working the way you envision it
Zen - Today at 10:12 PM
Noted