Chapter 8: The Energetic Component of Awakening

CHAPTER EIGHT

The Energetic Component of Awakening

A wakening brings many different transformations to the person. Awakening is waking up from the person, yes, but it also has a profound impact on, and in many ways transforms, the person. To give concreteness to what I am talking about, I’ve been telling you about my personal experience—my own awakening at twenty-five and some of the subsequent struggles I had. I’d like to continue with that.

At about age thirty-two, and in many ways unexpected, there was another great awakening. It was not essentially different from the awakening I had at twenty-five, but it was much, much clearer. I think it would be accurate to say that the awakening I had at twenty-five was a bit hazy. It was like walking out into the sunlight, but on a foggy day. Even though there was a change of perception, it wasn’t totally clear.

At thirty-two, the awakening that happened was extraordinarily clear. It was an irrevocable and irreversible event, an irreversible seeing. What I saw, which was not essentially different from what I saw at age twenty-five, was that I am everything and I am nothing, and also I am beyond everything and nothing. I saw that what I am is inexpressible. It had the sense of going through and through and through—right to the very root of existence.

I’m not interested in talking about that particular awakening in any detail right now. All I will say is that, afterward, what had been realized was never unrealized. It was never forgotten; the aperture didn’t close down again. At the same time, there were phenomena that occurred on the physical level, and that’s what I’d like to talk about now. These physical or energetic phenomena are often a part of awakening. Some people will experience some of what I am going to talk about even before awakening, while others will only experience it afterward. As such, what I am going to speak about is applicable whether or not one has experienced awakening.

When we have realized the true nature of existence—when existence itself has awakened to itself—there is almost always an energetic component to the realization. By energetic component, what I mean is that there is a profound realignment of the way our system works. A type of rewiring occurs in the mind, at the mental level, and there is a rewiring of how we sense and perceive on an emotional level. There is also a very deep change in the way the whole energetic system of our body, both material and subtle, flows and moves and is experienced.

One of the most common energetic changes that occurs with deep realizations is simply the pure release of a lot of energy into our system. It’s not that our system is getting an influx of energy from outside of itself; instead, when we become really conscious, the blocks and barriers—the internal dams—open up. As they do, there is an immense release of energy. In fact, anytime the egoic structure dissolves, there is a releasing of energy.

In many ways, it is only in retrospect that we come to understand that the dream state itself, the state of egoic separation, chews up a tremendous amount of energy. Only once it dissolves can we see the immense amount of energy required to continue the perception of separation that most of us live with. While we’re in it, we have no sense just how much energy is being spent on the dream of separation. You may have certain moments of suffering or despair, and in those moments you can feel how the perception of separation is draining your energy. But it is only when consciousness has spontaneously freed itself from the dream state that there is a huge internal release—mostly because the blocks are no longer there.

I don’t want to give the impression that this energy is going to be experienced in any particular way and at any particular intensity. For some people, this movement of energy is very pronounced; for others, it is very subtle, like a small blip on their radar screen.

One of the most common things that happens as this energy starts to open up within us is insomnia—often our systems are not accustomed to the amount of raw energy coursing through. It is possible that, for quite a while after an awakening, you will find your system “revved up.” It can take a while for our internal mechanisms—the mind, the body, and the subtle body—to adapt to the new amount of energy we are experiencing. This adjustment rarely happens overnight.

After awakening, most people find that their system is playing catch-up, working overtime to integrate and adapt to the new influx of energy that comes with the dissolution of the dream state. It is common that people will come to see me and say, “Adya, I haven’t slept well for six months,” or “I haven’t slept more than three or four hours in any night for the last three years.”

This does not necessarily mean that anything has gone wrong. There is always the potential for the mind to comment on what’s happening, to tell itself, “I’m not sleeping enough. I can’t deal with this. Something must be terribly wrong.” But from a different point of view, there’s nothing wrong. The whole energy of the body is realigning itself; it’s coming into a different state of harmony. It may take some time.

At this gross physical level of energy, I’ve seen people experience all sorts of things in addition to insomnia. Sometimes people will experience heart palpitations. Others experience spontaneous movements of the body, where the body will release energy spontaneously—a leg might twitch out, or an arm might rise without warning. The system is being moved by a force that the mind doesn’t understand.

In addition to an influx of energy on the physical level, there are often energetic transformations occurring on a more subtle level—the level of the mind. For a couple of years after my awakening at thirty-two, I felt like my mind was one of those old telephone switchboards where they had to unplug a jack from one outlet and put it into another. It felt like the wiring in my mind was being undone and put together in different ways.

I can’t say that I knew what was happening or that I had any understanding of it; it just felt like my mind was being rewired. I could feel a deep structural transformation happening in my brain, in the way my mind was working and functioning. That energetic process continued for two years, almost as if something or someone was in my brain cells, redirecting and restructuring them.

After a couple of years I noticed a much greater capacity for clarity and simplicity. My mind became a more subtle tool, a more powerful tool; it could be used in a very precise way, like a laser. Before this transformation happened, I wouldn’t say that my mind operated on that level, so there was some sort of a transformation that led to a new sense of clarity and focus.

There was also a significant quieting of the mind. I had done many years of meditation, where I’d tried to quiet the mind, but this quieting was different. There was no trying to quiet it. As the mind was being restructured—as the brain was being wired in different ways—it became much quieter. The thoughts that moved through my mind were more often “functional thoughts”—things that were actually necessary to think about.

We humans spend maybe 10 percent of our time thinking about things we really need to think about. We spend the other 90 percent of our time imagining, fantasizing, and becoming involved in all sorts of internal stories and dramas that have no basis in truth. After the awakening, I noticed that more of my thoughts were falling into the former category, and fewer were fantasies and stories I was telling myself.

This transformation of the mind takes place over time, because it is a physical process of transformation. When our consciousness is no longer obsessed with the mind, the mind relaxes, softens, and opens. This transition may even wreak havoc with one’s memory. I’ve had many students develop memory problems, some who have even gotten checked for Alzheimer’s. There is actually nothing wrong with them; they are simply undergoing a transformational process, an energetic process in the mind.

This process is normal. In order for the mind to be brought into harmony with what has been seen, the mind and the brain need to be restructured. I heard a recording by Eckhart Tolle, a popular spiritual teacher, who said that for a good two years after his awakening, he had a hard time using his mind. The work he was doing at the time required him to use his mind, so it was a real struggle for him.

Inevitably, if we realize that this is a natural process, that this sort of reorganization on the mental level is something we don’t need to interfere with or improve upon, there can be a relaxation. The most important thing is to relax and let the reorientation process happen. The side effects can be disconcerting, but if you don’t believe your thoughts about them, everything is actually fine. It’s only the mind that will tell you that what is happening is difficult, that you can’t handle it.

Many times when people say they haven’t slept well in six months, and I can tell they have anxiety around that fact, I ask them, “Do you really need more sleep than you’re getting? Do you actually know that you need to sleep more than you are? Or are you sitting there in bed at night telling yourself how tired you are going to be the next day?” It is amazing what happens when we let go of the thought patterns that say, “I should get more sleep,” when we realize that it’s just a thought. When we let go of the mind’s interpretation about what is happening, there is a much deeper relaxation in the system. This relaxation itself promotes a quickening of the physical transformation.

There are energetic transformations that occur not only in the way we think and conceptualize, but also in the way we feel—how our senses connect with the world around us. After awakening, people often find that their senses become extraordinarily acute. It is common, for example, to notice a widening of our field of peripheral vision. We might also start to sense things, to feel things we didn’t feel before. We might be able to feel what somebody else is feeling, or we might find that we have become sensitive to the energy of environments and the energy fields of other people. We might sense, for the first time, the energy fields of animals or trees or plants or our houses or particular rooms.

As this energetic unfolding happens, it is an opening of the entirety of our being. At times, people will have a tough time with it. Some people come to me and say, “I feel everything everybody else is feeling. I feel what is happening inside everybody else.” That may sound mystical and nice, but think about the fact that most people are conflicted. Who wants to go around feeling everybody’s conflicted energy? In that way, this heightened sensitivity can be problematic for some people.

Again, there are usually some unconscious thoughts occurring that are creating the sense that there is a problem. We need to be clear that each of us has our own responsibility; that it is not necessary for you to feel everything somebody else feels. What somebody else feels is theirs to feel. You may have access to it, but that doesn’t mean it is yours to experience. There is sometimes an underlying infatuation with one’s empathic ability, which can itself be problematic. Part of you may find it unpleasant to feel what’s happening with people, but another part of you might like it. It’s like eavesdropping on someone’s energetic state. If we unconsciously find that pleasurable, then it will happen more and more. If, on the other hand, we’re not actually that interested—we’re not pushing it away, but we are not seeking it out, either—then our attention goes where it is appropriate for it to go. Sometimes it is appropriate to feel what others are feeling, especially if you are in communion or relationship with them; it can help you to understand them on a kinesthetic level. But you start to realize it’s not necessary to go around feeling what everybody else is feeling when you’re not in relationship with them. You realize their business is their business, not yours.

This isn’t a callous thing to say. It’s a way to orient ourselves to our newfound sensitivity, so we don’t get too involved in everybody else’s business. It is also important to note that some people experience these kinds of empathic experiences without awakening at all, and other people have these kinds of experiences long before awakening. These types of experiences aren’t indicative of awakening, but are common aftereffects.

The most important thing is to see through any sense of self that may be derived from this kind of extraordinary experience, to see through any sense of self that may be seeking to derive entertainment or power from an experience. There are lots of capacities that can develop for someone who is awake. A person who has awakened may acquire the capacity to heal. Just being in the person’s presence may be healing for others. The ability to heal is, of course, a wonderful thing; it is a wonderful capacity to have. But if the ego structure rebuilds itself around being a healer, that itself will cause difficulties.

For these reasons, it’s important not to become infatuated with this new level of energy. If we do become infatuated with various capacities that may arise—what are sometimes referred to as siddhis or spiritual powers—it can become another spiritual trap.

Ultimately, if these powers do come, they come as gifts; they don’t come as something to grab hold of and reconstruct our sense of self around. In fact, many spiritual traditions warn students not to grasp at these powers, not to attempt to enhance them in any way. While there are many cautionary tales available, this doesn’t mean we should avoid these special gifts that can arise with awakening. The idea is to just let them be, as they are, as a natural part of the process.

Notice, Allow, Open, Relax

There are things you can do to help ground this energy if you feel particularly overwhelmed. For me this process of energetic reorientation lasted for a period of four or five years before it settled down. I was lucky that my wife, Mukti, who was a practicing acupuncturist at the time, could help ground the energy through acupuncture. I often suggest that to people; if the energy moving in your system seems overwhelming, sometimes simple things like acupuncture or acupressure can help you ground the energy. Sometimes just walking on the Earth in bare feet can help ground the energy that is moving through your system—this can be very helpful.

Now to be clear, I wouldn’t necessarily suggest that you try to control the energy. I’ve seen a lot of people get into trouble with this. If you are going to do anything to help the process along, be sure to stick to simply grounding the energy.

Sometimes this heightened level of energy, when it gets moving and flowing, will come up against blockages in our physical system. These blockages may be experienced as various forms of pressure in the body. Sometimes people feel a contraction in the heart or the gut, or a pressure at the top of the head or behind each of the eyebrows. If this happens, the important thing is to notice it’s happening and to relax. It’s not that you have to try to unblock the energy. Given enough time, these blockages tend to open. If you are interested in addressing the blockages, I suggest you sit quietly and put your attention on them. Just leave your attention there; touch the blockage and see what wants to be shown to you. Don’t try to direct it or force it, just open to what may want to be shown.

Ultimately, what is most helpful is to keep the thinking process out of what is happening. When you experience an awakening, a lot of things will happen that you didn’t necessarily plan on. What happens may not fit into the context you grew up with. Just know that these kinds of movements and transformations in the body, the mind, and the senses are natural and normal to the awakening process.

It is useful to understand that an energetic unfolding is very much a part of spiritual unfolding. They almost always come hand in hand. As I said earlier, some people will experience these energetic unfoldings overtly or profoundly or maybe even for a while somewhat disturbingly. Other people will find them to be so mild that they almost don’t notice them at all. What I am offering here is a general outline. If you understand the process, things go much more smoothly, mostly because you’re not worried about them anymore.