reverse genji plan ft monsterboy

it would be really cute if shinji and shirou had this cute relationship where shinji is So Fussy over him, maybe because we he found shirou he was really cold and/or sick so it took a while to get him well and that feeling just stuck. of course, as shirou gets older he realizes that shinji is kind of a (huge) mess, himself. like, a researcher or a novelist, some kind of background in academia... he’s the weirdo that said he would go off and live alone in the woods to focus on his work and He Actually Did It. he’s not great at homesteading, but he’s surviving out of stubbornness. i think finding shirou and deciding to look after him really fired him up to be more competent, so they probably get by okay, but winters are probably always a little difficult because the stakes are so high.

but seeing this kid who was lost or left behind essentially come back from the dead moved something in him. maybe shinji has his own issues with abandonment or something from his past, so he feels that stubborn determination to take responsibility even if it’s inconvenient! he really can’t stand to think about an innocent kid freezing to death in the snow. so he suddenly became a caretaker. a guardian. oniisan. it actually jump started a new wave of growth for him and gave him a feeling of purpose he’d never experienced before. shirou was smart, so shinji always talked to him the same way he would talk to any adult. they would butt heads just like any set of stubborn people do, but it wasn’t something that couldn’t be settled. i think shinji would be in his early twenties (22?) when he found shirou, who was maybe close to 10? gradually the balance of the home shifts and shirou ends up doing a lot of the chores, cooking and yard work while shinji begins working on various journals and essays. once shirou noticed that shinji was looking tired he slowly began to offer to take over tasks, giving shinji more time to work and even so, he’s still up writing late into the night most of the time.

shirou becoming a young adult has shinji being faced with the idea that at some point in the future, shirou may want to leave and lead his own life. while he acknowledges that’s something he should also want for him, shinji can’t help but feel a little panicked by it. maybe it’s a little after shirou turns 19 that he starts to change. slowly. shinji notices things here and there, but can usually convince himself out of it.

i think once it’s unavoidable that something not so easily explained has begun to happen to shirou... shinji hates that he has no answer for it. even when he can he feel shirou’s eyes boring into him, still very plainly sees it as shirou being the one in danger. he took responsibility for him the day he pulled him out of the snowbank and he refuses to let that change. no matter what shirou was or would become, shinji said he would look after him. so even when shirou begins to tower over him or grab him possessively, shinji accepts it. he’s scared, sure, but he’s mostly concerned — he still wants to make sure that shirou is okay. the thought of abandoning someone at such a frightening time was unforgivable. shinji has never cared about anything as much as he has shirou, so it’s alarmingly easy for him to try to be patient and cool with shirou and try to talk him down from things.

shirou is big now. he’s strong. he’s confused. he’s still shirou and even if shinji feels like he’s half his size now, he still wants to protect him. he’s the best investment shinji has ever made and while he doesn’t know how to articulate that, the eerily calm level of patience he shows might be enough. even though he’s terrified, a big brother should always try to be brave, right? if something accidentally hurts, he might cry — the first few times he gets bit he might cry... but i think that even if his fear escapes a little he would still try to comfort shirou somehow. once his teeth sink in and his venom spreads like a gentle numbness in his veins, he feels his heart skip and his head get cloudy. something in the air is different and something about shirou’s presence is heavier than before. it’s overwhelming, but it feels safe. the transition to feeling safe and cared for with sharp teeth locked onto his neck is when shinji realizes their dynamic has shifted in a way that can’t be changed, but it somehow feels good and right and exciting.