Meeting a Shy Girl At The Bar (Script) [F4M]

[F4M] Meeting a Shy Girl At The Bar [Strangers to crushes?] [Conversational] [Nervous] [Stupidly Awkward] [Swooning] over the listener [kinda geeky] [a smidge of meta] [Confident listener] [Awkward Speaker]

Our speaker is really shy and a bit of a geek. She goes out to a bar she found at the suggestion of her friends. She has been there for hours, and has been staring at the listener for some time, freaking the hell out. In her eyes the listener is like some super dreamy dude. And you, dear listeners, should also think of yourselves as super dreamy dudes *finger guns*. The listener has also been checking her out, but she wasn't particularly aware of that fact. Because she's functioning on like pure booze at this point. The script opens during her freakout before the listener approaches her.

The tiny smidge of meta in this script is that the speaker themselves kind of spills the beans that they write pta scripts. It's nothing major I just thought it would be a fun little inclusion to add to their awkwardness.

(The opening freakout lines were taken and adapted from the description of Rush Garcia's video "Sketch 9 - You Know That Feeling" [link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDl7vbEFtdE], used with his permission)

[square brackets] for tone/actions, SFX where noted (optional)
*asterisks* for emphasis
double spaces for longer pauses
/slashes/ used for explanations of sounds or actions or any contextual events

Improvise if you need to. This script is meant to be awkward, so any extra uh's and ah's and whatever are perfect for the character.

If you fill this script, tell me what your favourite drink is!
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Ok here we go. There it is. He's looking at me, oh my god he's looking at me.

Ok I'll go over there and talk to him in just a sec. Need another drink first, I can't rush into these things.

Wait, no. No procrastinating. No excuses. I can do this.

Wait why is he looking at me? God he is *staring*.

What do I even say? How do I even do this? Just walk up and be like "Hey you look like an anime character"...god, what? MY GOD I'm pathetic.

Wow he is really handsome...

How long have I been down here? Like two, three hours? [groans] Oh wait no its five [groans again]

Yeah this was a bad idea. Why would I do this?

I don't do bars. I certainly don't do talking. I *definitely* don't do talking to cute guys *in* said bars.

Argh, I hate this feeling. This feels like some one in a million chance. Like this is that one shot you get.

Wait no. I'm lying. Not that feeling. *This* feeling, that I have right now, where I've had like seven drinks and nothing to eat. Which is absolutely pitiful seeing as I've been here for like five hours. God, what is wrong with me.

Whatever...this was a waste of time. Guess I should just head home before I embarrass myse-e-EEHH-...-Hi.

Uhhh I, um, uhhh, yeah no I'm ok. I was just...

Talking to myself? Talking to myself. No, I, ah...I have a lot...on my mind? [not believing your own words]

WAIT YOU SAW?! Oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't mean to...stare...aaand you are LAUGHING at me right now! [under your breath] Oh my god why is his laugh so perfect?

[startled] Hm, yes? Oh, I, um...sure. Another drink would be lovely. I'll take another one of these. The uh, bartender knows what it is.

Um, great. I'll just be waiting...over...here...

Ohhhhhkay whaaat? What is happening right now? Is this like some kind of fever dream? Am I hallucinating? Why would he come up to me? Wait that's not important right now, ok? Ok! Ok? Oh god help me. Ok you need to play this cool. You need to...you need to...not freak out. Which is totally what you're doing right now.

Should I just bail? Wait no he is literally looking right at me, that will never work. Again, why is he looking at me. Maybe if I had like some sort of invisibility spell or somethi-...what? Why am I even talking about this? I need to limit this, I need-

[swooning] Ohhh noo whyyy? Why does he look so great, he's just ordering drinks?! Am I ok right now? Seriously what is going on with me.

Oh boy...ok he's coming back, I can do this, right? Uh, *wrong*, but there's no escape now, I just gotta-

Uhmm, hiii! I'm still sitting here, just like I said.

Oh, thank you. Let me just- [starts furiously sipping]

[chokes a bit] [coughs] Ohhh I shouldn't have done that. You probably shouldn't have seen that either, uh...and you are laughing again! [laughs]

[softly, to herself] Sweet Jesus, girl, calm down, its just a laugh.


Yeah, I'm totally fine. Earlier? I was...um...don't worry about it? [questioning her own words again] Time to, uh- [sips drink again]

Ahem, so uh, so what brings you here? Also, I don't normally drink like this. Please don't read anything into it.


Oh you come here often? Is this like your spot?

Well that's pretty groovy, baby~

Um, maybe I should stop. *You* should definitely stop laughing, though!


Yeah my friends said I should go out a bit more, so here I am. I don't come to bars, but this place seemed really nice. Kind of rustic. It reminded me of the Helter Skelter bar frommmmmm-nope, from nothing. I didn't just say that.

Nope. I said nothing.

You know what, I'll tell you later man.

I mean, if we're still here? That would be cool, wouldn't it?

Mmhm.


What do I do? Do you mean like, as a job? I, um, I write. Mostly freelance really. Short articles and reviews. I mean that's not like my main gig or anything, but I figure a writer is a lot more interesting than the other stuff I do.

"I'm sure it's better than you think" Well aren't you smooth? If I didn't know any better I'd say you were laying on the charm, no?

You...are? [flustered] I uh, aaaahheeuhm, I...hmm. [sips]

What kind of things do I read? Um, fiction mainly. Lots of short stories, some light novels, a bit of manga and things like that. That's actually why I started writing. I used to write so often back in school so doing it again is really great. The fact that I can do it semi-professionally is also a bonus.

Um right now I've been writing a lot of...hmm...I guess you could call them short stories? But they're like scripts. For people. Or not, even. I just really like the writing. It's been really fun...annnnd maybe I should have kept that to myself. Uhhh yeah...drinks. They did this to me.

Show you? Haa...haha...that's a really funny joke there, my good sir.

[changing the topic] Um, what about you? What goes on in that probably glamorous life of yours?


Oh...that's...wow that makes sense. Of course you'd do something like that and look the way you do. Wow. [flustered] Knowing that is kind of making me a bit, uh, yeah. Having a job like that must make it difficult to see your girlfriend, with you coming here so often as well, huh?

[actually pleased with herself] Yeah that was smooth. Great tactic. I totally finessed that.

"I totally did"? What are you talking about?

Oh god did I actually say that out loud?

/covering  her face with hands/ [muffled] Nooooooooooo!

Hm? Oh, so no significant other? Well...ah...ok then.

So I guess that's how you have all this time to make this your spot. [deep breath] Now maybe even *our* spot?

See, now that was *actually* smooth wasn't it? [laughs]


Can I, um...can I give you my number?

Oh you have a card? Fancy.

So I, yeah...I'll uh...

Oh, you'll call me? I, gueeaaggh...yeah? That would be...just...perfect.

Yeah, I'll see you.


Oh my god did all of that literally just happen? Am I still me? Is this real life? How did I get through that?

[bro voice] What an epic dub, dude.

Actually no. Never say that *ever* again.

Still. Am I trapped in the twilight zone or something? What a night.

I, uh, might need another drink. I definitely need some food first, though.