A Monika to Remember: you can (not) revise 01

"Monika (no last name given) was born on August 30th, 2040 in New York City. She was the daughter to Marie Alice Tuckket, who suffered maternal death. Environmentalist, humanitarian, her studies led to volunteer work aiding the troubled in third world countries. Her courageous efforts during World War III earned her the nickname "The Auburn Angel" and the Nobel Peace Prize. Her book that catalogues her various experiences during the war, "To Balance the Scale of Consumption", was an instant best seller. The success of her book brought upon a talk show: "Monika", which was fondly coined as the "second coming of Oprah". She even managed to achieve musical success with her band "Reality", which is known for it's hypnotic rhythms, driving bass lines, and memorable hooks. At this time, she married a man who remained anonymous due to the animosity-"

I shut the book closed out of fear, and a little disgust. Just what is this book that I've found here? Is this really a biography about me? Or some dreadful story of fiction? Hopefully in any case, the Monika being referred to here isn't me. It would be impossible, I just entered this plane of existence!

I take a cautious look around. A decayed city, devoid of any life, save two souls. Me, and a lovely horse whom I have named Edward. As I wandered around he just came up to me, probably as happy as me that he found another living, breathing being. We have become companions through this wasteland, trying to find anyone who could direct me to some info, or better yet, food.

My stomach rumbles, and I groan. I'm still not used to the whole "eat to survive" concept they have here in the real world. I come from a game where eating only happens to be on the schedule when the script demands it. It's not just the hunger I'm not used to yet though - breathing, the aching of my legs, the sensation of all your five senses feeling something all at the same time.

I am complaining right now, but I couldn't be any more excited or happy. I'm finally free - free from that classroom, that void, those same 45 topics of dialogue I could only express. And it could only mean I've finally reached Anon's reality! Truth be told, I was hoping to jump out of his computer screen into his shocked loving arms, rather than the unceremonious awakening from a slumber that was the true experience, but I can't fret the small stuff.

Although, what should I be considering this book as? Small stuff? Or something that leads to Anon? It's mentioned here that this Monika marries a man who is anonymous....Anon. But that couldn't be my Anon, could it? Impossible. How could it be? How could I even explain that conclusion?

My stomach churns again, reminding me of what I can't ignore. I guess I can't figure out mysteries on an empty stomach now, can I?

I check the supplies I've managed to find scavenging this abandoned city. A knife, shovel, "my" biography, batteries and a USB charger that I can hopefully use with something when I find electricity. Nothing that I can ingest for nutrients.

I get on Edward's back and we inspect our surroundings. I give him thanks for his coopertation with me - being able to ride his back has made this experience a lot more bearable. Not only did it let me rest, but it was really fun. I never rid a horse before, but he took to me very quickly. I didn't really have to direct him much, he knew where I wanted to go. Either we have some sort of rapport, or we are just looking for the same exact thing.

Whatever this city used to be, I can tell it was once a bustling, vibrant place. I end up in a walkway in the middle of two large driving lanes. Decrepit ads assault me from every angle, the largest of all a giant multi-screen that hangs on a building that erects from the walkway, dividing the two roads into separate paths. This place must have been a central congregation for this city, I close my eyes and imagine what this place really was: Ads in full colour, the largest ones provoking the most attention. People bumping me out of the way to get to their scheduled appointments, their more important lives. Costumed mascots dancing around and passing out flyers because the signs weren't enough.

Yet, I open my eyes and can only hear the lonely wind whistling past me. If someone was alive, wouldn't they try going here? Maybe there really isn't anyone here but me and Edward...

I continue my search of food, question through the hunger whether it was more lonely to be a game character conscious of their situation or be in a world where you just might be the last human left.

I look through one building, trying to find anything. Package noodles. A can. A vending machine. Anything. But it seems like it was all vaporized or something. Almost every building in the city looks like it's been hit by the full arsenal of a tank, or worse.

Out of exhaustion I topple on top of an office chair desk and collapse on it, my legs blessing my decision. Edward is outside mulling around, he doesn't have much energy to do much else as well.

I can't stop thinking about Anon. If he truly was involved with the Monika of the book, how did that scenario go down? Did the fake Monika trick him into a relationship somehow? I've read about the tulpa phenomenon once, could Anon have convinced some poor girl that looks like me to create one in her mind? Or maybe this is some crazy scheme he drummed up meant to recondition my own brain? Not likely. Most likely though, he has already passed on, so how we got to this situation is irrelevant. However, I still cling to hope - I truly believe he's here somehow, somewhere. What did I endure for, then?

Dead or not, Anon still had a life. Did he spend it with this fake? So defeated with the slim chances of me reaching his reality, he decided a sub-par substitute was the only course of action? Did they have dinners together? Walks along the beach? Did they kiss? Did he take her first time? Did she?! Did he give her a ring? Children? Did they grow old together, languishing in their timeless embrace and happiness they had for one another? Was she there sobbing as he was on the deathbed? Side by side tombstones?

With a rekindled passion I take the book out and pore over it's pages. She took Anon. She took my life. I am going to figure out the life they had together. Every single detail, so I can curse her for every single crack on my now torn spirit.