WASTELAND! With Horses - Chapter 2

>Red breaks your train of thought
~"Can we just go now? We should have been shooting up mutants and marauders HOURS ago!"
>Aryanne voices a different opinion
/"Nein, mein kamerad. Ve do not hav food. Ve should go to Apple farm for apple, and then go."
>and the sad little filly over there just stares at you
>decisions, decisions
"All right. We'll pick up some apples, and then we'll head out, but first-"
~"Oh, come on!"
"No you come on! Rarity's little sister is over there crying! We can't just walk by and do nothing!"
~"Are you fucking serious right now?"
>you're already walking toward the little pony, and the rest of the team is already mindlessly following
"Yes. And please do watch your mouth around the little dear, would you kindly? Can't have you poisoning her mind, now can we?"
/"Ach, mein furhrer you are right! Ze poor little fraulein tugs on mein heart so!"
~"Really, big strong scary race war pony is a big softie too?"
/"Equestrian children are ze future of our nation, Kamerad Red."
>you arrive at the spot and greet her
"Hi there, you're Rarity's little sister, right?"
>she nods and gives an "mm-hmm" in response
~"Who's Rarity?"
"We just went through basic training with her, Red! She's got a curly mane like mine, only blue."
~"Ooohhhh. I remember her now!"
"How could you forget her name after literally one day?"
~"Hey, she's your butt buddy, not mine."
>"What's a butt buddy?"
"I-it's nothing, sweetheart!"
>"I'm Sweetie Belle, not Sweet Heart."
"Of course you are, sweety, I-I mean, Sweetie."
/"Ach, Fraulein Belle, vat has you so terribly upset?"
>in an instant, she forgets the momentary distraction you've provided
>"I-it's Scootaloo! A-and Apple Bloom, I mean, Apple Bloom's dog Winona! I-I can't tell anypony…"
/"Kannst not tell? Vell, kannst du tell me if zey are in trouble?"
>Sweetie Belle pauses for a moment
>"Y-yes…"
/"Vat kind of trouble, little one?"
>"I can't tell or Winona will get hurt!"
>Aryanne thinks for a second
/"Furhrer, give me one of those pastries you like so much"
>blin? how the hell does she know if you have any on you?
>well, you do have one last blin on you, but that doesn't mean you have a problem!
>you magic the blin from your saddlebag and place it into Aryanne's hoof
/"Could du tell me for zis blintz?"
>did she just call it a "blintz"?
~"Uh, I'm pretty sure it's called a blini."
>what the fuck
_"Blinchiki!"
>you're surrounded by philistines
>Aryanne shoots a nasty glance back at the two interrupters
>Sweetie Belle considers for a moment
>and she finally cracks
>"Winona got sick so Apple Bloom hid her in the cave between those trees over there to keep her from hurting ponies but then Scootaloo fell inside and I'm scared Winona's gonna hurt her you have to save her!"
>it may be a run-on sentence, but it's also an answer
>Sweetie Belle grabs the blin and runs, darting her head around as if to make sure nobody was listening
~"How are you so good with kids, Anne?"
>it hits you at this point
/"It is the duty of every mare to make herself suitable for motherhood."
>and then it hits Sketchy
~"Don't you need to attract a stallion to be a mother?"
/"V-vell…"
>and then it dawns on Red and Aryanne, and the argument dies before it can start
>there's a little girl trapped in a cave with a rabid dog

>well shit
>guess you'd probably better do something about it
"So, uh, I guess we'd better do something about this."
~"Yeah. Let's, uh, go kill that dog."
>you cringe a little bit
>nobody moves a muscle
>Aryanne breaks the spell
/"Are ve going to save that filly, or vat, kameraden? Time is of the essence!"
>she's already trotting over toward the spot where Sweetie Belle said the cave was
>Sketchy follows her without much consideration
"You're right, let's go."
>you follow after them, and Red after you
_"Uhm… where's the cave at?"
>it becomes apparent that Sketchy raises a good question
~"Yeah, I don't see it."
>Aryanne spends a moment looking around, but it's a fruitless excercise for her
"Furhrer, aren't you a jeweler? Surely you hav a discerning eye."
>well, you certainly liked to think you had a discerning eye
>so you lower your head to the ground, squint your eyes, and scan the area
>hey, is that a dark patch of grass or is it a dark background it's against?
>you push the grass back with your hoof, and it falls out of sight easily, having been pulled up in clumps and stuffed over the opening of exactly what you were looking for:
>a little hole in the ground, just big enough for one adult mare to crawl through at a time
"There it is!"
_"How do we get down there?"
>know that she mentions it, taking a sheer drop like that face first doesn't sound very fun, even in a fairly shallow cave like that
~"Uh, duh. We all have ropes, don't we?"
>Red wastes no time retrieving the rope from her saddlebag and securing it to a tree branch overhead, leaving the trailing end dangling into the dark cave
>oh dear
>only one of you can go down at a time
>you're the leader; should you go down first and set a good example?
>or maybe you should stay up here where it's safe to make sure everyone gets down without falling, and go down last
>maybe we don't have to go down at all; can we just call the damn thing and shoot it from up here?
~"After you, squad leader."
>damn it all
>good example it is
"Here we go, then."
>you grab hold of the rope with your front hooves somehow
>and you brace your rear hooves against the wall of the hole
>and you venture downward, seriously hoping there's no rabid dog down there waiting to bite your plot as soon as you're within range
>but you touch solid ground shortly, your beautiful bum un-bitten
>you back away from the rope to let the rest of your team down
>it takes a couple minutes, but soon the whole squad is six feet underground with you
>no sound or sight of rabid dogs or terrified fillies yet
>even here the cave is very dark
>the ground is rocky
_"Oh, here, I'll light my match"
~"Who the hell thought it'd be a good idea to only give us one match each?"
/"Degenerate liberals and zeir defense budget cuts."
>Sketchy strikes the match
>you see a snapped rope, the way the children got in and out
>you also see the reason why no rabid dogs have come to attack yet
>the only path forward is partially blocked by what seems to have been a small cave-in
>you're gonna have to climb over it
>and the only good climber in the squad is Red

>you have to go on
~"Come on, girls. We gotta get over that rubble."
>Red wastes little time in bounding up onto the pile of rocks and darting over it
>can you even do that?
>Red hops back up onto the roadblock
~"You ladies coming?"
/"Of coursh."
>Aryanne strides over to the blockage, rears up, and digs her front hooves into the rocks
>bracing her rear hooves against it, she pulls herself up along the jagged pile
>she puts one front hoof on top of the pile and attempts to drag herself to the top
>but the top gives way and her foreleg falls through
/"Augh!"
>Aryanne hits the cave floor with a scraped shin
>in the dim light of the cave, the red blood staining her pearly white coat appears almost black
>Red snickers
~"Not like that. Here, just grab my hoof; we're wasting time."
>with Red's help, Aryanne makes it up and over the roadblock
~"I'm guessing neither of you have much experience with climbing things either, do you?"
"How often do you need to climb things?"
~"On a ship? It's a way of life. Sails can't rightly be put up from the weather deck, and earth ponies have to get up to the crow's nest somehow."
~"Bet you're glad I'm an 'international terrorist' now, huh?"
"Oh, whatever."
_"Well I sure am glad!"
>Sketchy trots over to Red's outstretched hoof and takes it
~"Up n' over!"
>Sketchy giggles a little as Red pulls her up to the top of the pile
>but she shrieks a little when Red pushes her to the bottom on the other side
~"Comin' up, furhrer?
>wordlessly, you make your way over to the pile
>you brace one front hoof on the rubble
>and you grab Red's hoof with the other
>Red's attention, however, is distracted from you when a low, strangled growl emanates through the cave
_"Uh… g-guys? I-i-i-i-it's heeeere!"
~"Oh, shit!"
>red lets go of your hoof, grabs her gun, and bounds out of sight
>shots ring out and ricochet and light up the cave
>growls and barks and screams assail your ears
~"Oh shit what the fuck?"
>things don't seem to be going well over there

>gottagetovertheregottagetoverthere
>you brace your hooves in the rubble and move them around as quickly as possible, trying to scramble upward
>it's slow going
>and with the pandaemonium on the other side
>and the nagging fear and uncertainty on your own
>it feels like forever
>frequent gunshots light the way for you
>a shriek, you can't tell who it's from
>a ricocheted bullet plants itself in the pile not one foot away from your head
>the sharp rocks drag along your soft belly
>you're not a strong pony, your own grunts and gasps are a testament to that
>finally you pull yourself up to the top
>but you overestimated the power you'd need
>you go tumbling down to the bottom on the other side
>right in the middle of it
~"Get it! Get it! Get it!"
>Red fires at the fast moving animal rapidly, but can't seem to land a shot
>the dog sees the new intruder, you, and charges
>oh shite oh shite oh shite oh shite
>you cringe and scramble for your gun, somehow forgetting your magic
>the rabid beast is pouncing upon you, and you can only stare
>THIS IS THE END
>but before your very eyes, the dog is struck down in mid-air by a bolt of lightning
>or, rather, a crowbar
>Sketchy's crowbar
>it sprawls on the ground reeling and yelping
>and the heavy iron bar strikes it again
>and again
>and again and again and again
>Sketchy is giving a mighty war cry at this point
>goodness, there's no way that smacking that thing so rapidly can be good for her neck
>or her teeth
>and again and again and again and again and again and again
>fucking hell is that thing even moving any more?
"IT'S DEAD STOP IT CALM DOWN PLEASE STOP FUCKING HELL STOP SKETCHY IT'S DEAD!"
>or you think you said something to that effect
>it may have come out a little less intelligibly
>Sketchy slows the barrage of pain to a stop
>and smacks the mangled animal one more time for good measure
>she spits the bloody crowbar from her mouth and examines it
_"D…did we get it?"
"Yes, love. You got it."
_"What? 'Love'? Ruby, I don't swing that way!"
"What? No! That's just the way we talk in Trottingham! It doesn't mean-"
~"You're from Trottingham?"
/"Obviously, kamerad. Did you not notice her acksent?"
_"I dunno, it's still kinda creepy…"
"It's not creepy! It's just a friendly term! Like 'darling' or something!"
~"'Darling'? Rube, that's totally creepy!"
"Y-you w-wha… bloody shite Sketchy you killed the hell out of that dog!"
_"Y-yeah…"
/"I don't sink ve can say ve exactly put it down humanely…"
~"Yeah but at least we did it."
"How much ammo did you brave Rangers use up killing this dog with that crowbar anyway?"
~"Uh…"
>Red looks sheepishly around at the empty casings and clips that litter the cave floor
~"Lemme see, about two clips on my part."
/"Five rounds."
_"The innocence of my crowbar."
>you sigh and look at Red
~"What? I never miss! That thing had rabies super speed!"
"Or maybe you were just scared."
~"Me? Scared? Ha! That's a laugh coming from you!"
>Red puts on her best impression of you flinching before the beast
_"Hey! Where's that filly we're supposed to be rescuing?"
>oh right
>that
"She must have hidden herself away somewhere."
~~"Do we have to go find her then?"
"Absholutely!"
"Yes. We have to get her out of here safely."
~"Ah, man, I'm gonna have to help you dorks over another cave-in then."
>Red is right, the only way forward is over yet another pile of rubble

"Well, we'd may as well keep going. The worst is behind us."
~"All right, all right. Lemme get up there."
>Red bounds up to the top of the pile
>she steps in something and gasps
~"Oh holy shit!"
>she flails and kicks something off the top of the rubble
>you look to see that it's the skull of a pony
~"We were too late! That poor little filly is dead!"
>Red looks on the verge of tears
>you examine the skull
"Red, this is a fully rotted skeleton; the little filly probably fell in here this morning. That's not enough time"
"And this the skull of a fully grown pony."
"A male pony."
~"O-oh. Yeah, I knew that. I was just, uh, testing you."
/"Can ve please just get a move on?"
>conversation dies down as Red helps the team over the blockage
>before you is an empty room with no way out but the way you came
"She has to be in here somewhere."
_"What'd that other little filly say her name was?"
~"Scootle Doo?"
/"Scootaloo."
>"H-hello?"
~"Are you Scootle Doo?"
>"I'm Scootaloo."
~"You win this round, krautgirl."
"Scootaloo, love, where are you?"
~"There you go again with that creepy Trottingham shit."
>"Over here!"
>a little orange pegasus pony walks into your range of vision
/"Ah, little fraulein, you are limping!"
>"Yeah, the cave roof fell in and a rock hit me in the leg."
/"Up up up, hop up on my back."
~"Wait, she's a pegasus. Can't she just fly?"
>"Uh, no! A, uh, rock hit me in the wing too. Yep. Thanks lady!"
>Scootaloo climbs onto Aryanne's strong back and clutches her neck
"All right, Rangers. We did our first ranger mission! Good job, everyone, let's get out of here."
>Red hops up onto the pile and ponders your words
~"Yeah, but it was kind of lame. I mean, we killed a dog, not anything exciting."
>"L-l-lame?"
/"Don't listen to her, little fraulein."
>one after the other, you make it up and over without incident to the room where you killed the dog
>you look out for the body, intending to block Scootaloo's view of it
>but it's gone
>must be that some sort of creepy cave critter dragged it off
"Eugh, I'm really glad to get out of here."
>"You can say that again!"
_"Eugh, I'm really glad to get out of here!"
>you get up and over the next roadblock into the first room where the rope still hangs
"Oh dear, we've got to get up this thing too, don't we?"
>four strenuous climbs later, and the whole squad is on the surface again, all huffing and puffing except for Red
>so she notices it first
~"Uh, hey guys. Check this out."
>on a pile of fresh earth is a wood plank with words, "My dog Winona, gunned down by vigilante Rangers."
>so it wasn't cave critters that took the dog
>and damn, it sure did get retrieved and buried quickly
>about forty feet away, a youth you don't recognize stands up and points a gun at you
>"You killed my dog, you dirty Rangers!"

>oh shit
>that must be the filly who hid the dog
>what did Sweetie Rolls say her name was again?
/"Fraulein Apple Bloom! Put zat sing down!"
>how is that mare so good with kids?
>"No! You killed my dog!"
"We didn't want to!"
>you glance at the wooden plank for reference
"Winona was sick! We just wanted to rescue Scootledoo, but your dog tried to hurt us, Apple Bloom!"
>the gun wobbles in Apple Bloom's hoof
>"Yer a liar!"
>you turn to Scootledoo
"You must have been her friend or something. Reason with her!"
>"Uh…"
>"Apple Bloom! It's me, Scootaloo! They're telling the truth!"
>Apple Bloom considers this for a moment
>"Scootaloo? Who the hell are you? Why the hell should I care about what you have to say?"
~"Foul mouthed little filly."
/"She must lack a proper mozher figure."
"Scootaloo! I thought you were friends with her!"
>"Nopony is friends with her! She lives all isolated on a farm at the far edge of Ponyville with noone but her scary big brother and their wierd granny!"
/"Ach mein prinzessen! I sink she is Kamerad Applejack's sister!"
~"You mean the granddaughter of the pony whose farm we were going to go to for supplies?"
"Oh, just…"
>it'd probably be best if you refrained from shooting the little darling then
>"Get over here n' fight me, you cowards!"
>even from this distance you can tell she's extremely upset, and growing moreso by the second
>she hasn't fired any shots yet, but there's no way of knowing for sure…

>well, it's not like you can just shoot her or anything like that
>hmm
"All right, you three, I'm going to approach her. While she's distracted with me, you're going to flank her. If that gun cocks - and I don't think it will - find a non-lethal way to neutralize her."
>sensing that you've gone into squad leader mode, the other three Rangers nod in affirmative
>Scootaloo is still hanging on to Aryanne
"And you, go hide somewhere. This is dangerous."
>the little orange pony reluctantly lets go of the gentle race warrior and runs off somewhere
>thankfully, Apple Boom… Blossom… Bushel…
>whatever her name is, she allows Scootaloo to escape, her sole bone apparently to be picked with Rangers alone
>you take a lone step forward
"Now, Apple Bl… Bloom, darling, please put that nasty thing down."
>"No! Yer gonna pay fer what you did to Winona!"
"Now, sweetheart, please. Your dog was very ill."
>you're now 30 feet away
>"She tried to hurt poor Scootaloo, and then she tried to hurt us. We really had no choice."
>"Yer a liar! Winona wouldn't hurt nopony!"
>you're now 20 feet away
"Apple Bloom, dearest, Winona was suffering. She wouldn't have been happy living in pain in that nasty cave in her last days."
>"She woulda gotten better if you'da just left her alone!"
>you're now ten feet away
"Now darling, I know you're upset. But please, just be reasonable. It's nobody's fault; you can just put that gun down and everything will be okay."
>you're now right in front of her
>"Hey! You snuck up on me!"
>Apple Bloom cocks her gun
>CRACK
>thud
>Apple Bloom lies motionless on the ground, bleeding profusely from her little head
>you turn
"GOODNESS SHIT I SAID A NON-LETHAL WAY TO NEUTRALIZE HER, NOT SHOOT HER IN THE FUCKING HEAD!"
>Red saunters out from her hiding place behind a nearby tree
~"Oh, relax, Ruby. I didn't shoot her. I just bonked her with a rock."
/"Zat vas a very loud 'bonk', Red."
~"You know, you could thank me for saving the squad leader's life here."
"Is she fucking alive?!"
~"I dunno."
>you feel like you're about to suffer an aneurysm
>you must look like it too, because Red drops the cavalier attitude right quickly
~"Heyheyheyhey! I can check, I promise you she'll be okay!"
>Red kneels on the ground and places her hoof on Apple Bloom's
~"Yeah, she's got a pulse. And look, she's breathing. She's okay."
>Red grins
~"Though she's gonna have one nasty headache when she wakes up."
_"That's horrible!"
>not as horrible as the sound of Captain Armor's voice at a site with you over an unconscious and bleeding little girl though
>"Oh holy shit, Red, did you kill that filly? Why would you do that? Oh shit they're gonna run us out of town! Oh man you're so going to the brig for this!"
_"S-s-s-sir, Private Red didn't kill this filly. She's alive; she just needs some treatment for a head wound. See?"
>Sketchy gestures toward Apple Bloom's rising and falling chest
>the Captain falls to his knees
>"Oh, thank goodness!"
>he takes the helpless filly into the grip of his magic
>"I'll just take her to the infirmary then."
>he starts to leave, realizes something, stops, and glares at you
>"Wait a second. Why did Private Red assault this filly with a rock?"
_"We killed her dog, sir!"
>"You what?!"
"She had rabies, sir."
>"Wait, this little filly has rabies?"
~"No, the dog had rabies. It tried to attack us and also another little filly."
"Apple Bloom here was terribly upset by it and threatened us with that gun right there."
>Shining Armor looks and sees the gun in the grass near his hooves and sighs
>"All right, all right. I guess that's all okay then. It's just, man, you guys haven't even left Ponyville yet and you've already damn near given me a heart attack."
>he turns to leave in earnest this time
>"Go ahead and do whatever else you need to do to get ready. I want you guys outta here before sunrise tomorrow."
>"And please try not to knock out any more little kids before you go."
>oh, fuck
>everything is fucked up
>while you and your squad contemplate how fucked up everything is, Scootaloo comes out of hiding and approaches you
>"Whoooaaaaaah. You guys were totally awesome!"
~"Yep."
>nobody's really paying any attention to the excited little girl
>"Can I stick around with you guys?"
>and suddenly, you are paying attention
"What?"
>"I could be like a fifth member of your team! It'd be totally great!"