Artemis- Orion is Really Stupid

“Shut up, Orion! Shut up. A person is gone. A real person.” The ice
was hard beneath Foaly’s knees, and made their situation seem more
desperate.
“I don’t have much experience with real people,” admitted Orion,
slumping beside the centaur. “Or feelings that translate to the world.
But I think I am sad now. And lonely. We have lost a friend.”
These were words from the heart, and Foaly felt he had to be
sympathetic. “Okay. It’s not your fault. We have both lost someone
special.”
Orion sniffed. “Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give
me a ride to the village on your back. Then I can make a few pennies
with my verses while you build us a shack and perform circus tricks
for passersby.”
This was such a surprising statement that Foaly briefly considered
jumping into the hole to get away.
“This isn’t Middle Earth, you know. We’re not in a novel. I am not
noble, neither do I have a repertoire of circus tricks.”
Orion seemed disappointed. “Can you juggle at least?”
Orion’s idiocy was just what Foaly needed to shake him temporarily
from his grief. He jumped to his feet and stomped in a circle around
Orion.
“What are you? Who are you? I thought you shared Artemis’s
memories. How can you be so stupid?”
Orion was unperturbed. “I share everything. Memories and movies
are as real as each other to me. You, Peter Pan, the Loch Ness Monster,
me. It’s all real, maybe.”
Foaly rubbed his forehead. “We are in so much trouble. Gods help
us.”
Orion brightened. “I have an idea.”
“Yes?” said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained.
“Why don’t we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes?
Or, if that doesn’t work, you could search my naked body for some
mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of
somewhere or other.”
“Okay,” sighed Foaly. “Why don’t you get started on the stones
thing, and I’ll scrape some magical runes in the snow.”
Orion clapped his hands sharply. “Excellent notion, noble creature.”
And he began kicking over stones to see if any of them were magical.
The complex is progressing, realized Foaly. He wasn’t this deluded
only minutes ago. The more desperate the situation becomes the
further from reality he gets. If we can’t get Artemis back soon, he will
be gone forever.
“I found one!” Orion shouted suddenly. “A magic stone!” He bent to
examine his discovery. “No. Wait. It’s a shellfish of some kind.” He
smiled apologetically at Foaly. “I saw it scuttling and so I assumed . . .”
Foaly thought a thought he had thought he would never think.
I would prefer to be with Mulch Diggums.

- The Atlantis Complex, Chapter 5