Nymphomaniac: Vol. II (2013) EN

1
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This is nothing less
than 'Zeno's paradox.'

2
00:00:54,284 --> 00:00:58,868
You are Achilles
and the tortoise is the orgasm.

3
00:00:59,034 --> 00:01:01,868
Oh, come on.
- No, no, no. Listen.

4
00:01:02,034 --> 00:01:03,826
Achilles and the tortoise
are going to race,

5
00:01:03,993 --> 00:01:06,076
and Achilles is confident,

6
00:01:06,243 --> 00:01:10,201
so he gives the tortoise
a hundred meters head start.

7
00:01:10,368 --> 00:01:13,326
Now the mathematical problem
is that

8
00:01:13,493 --> 00:01:15,951
before Achilles
can pass the tortoise,

9
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,326
he has to reach the point

10
00:01:17,493 --> 00:01:21,076
where the tortoise started
after a hundred meters.

11
00:01:21,243 --> 00:01:24,493
But when Achilles gets there,
the tortoise has already moved on,

12
00:01:24,659 --> 00:01:26,659
and then he has
to reach the next point,

13
00:01:26,826 --> 00:01:28,284
and the tortoise
has moved on again

14
00:01:28,451 --> 00:01:31,201
and so on and so on and so on.

15
00:01:31,368 --> 00:01:34,618
So Achilles can never reach
the tortoise and never pass him.

16
00:01:34,784 --> 00:01:38,951
And in the same way,
because you were giving chase,

17
00:01:39,118 --> 00:01:41,993
you couldn't reach satisfaction.
That's the paradox.

18
00:01:42,159 --> 00:01:45,493
I'm sorry, but it seems as if you're
not taking this very seriously.

19
00:01:45,659 --> 00:01:48,576
I'm telling you about the worst
thing that's happened to me,

20
00:01:48,743 --> 00:01:53,951
that I at that point, within seconds,
lost all sexual sensation.

21
00:01:54,118 --> 00:01:56,368
My cunt simply went numb.

22
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,618
And immediately
we have to hear about

23
00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:01,243
this ridiculous
mathematical problem.

24
00:02:01,409 --> 00:02:05,909
In fact, I'm in doubt
whether you're even listening.

25
00:02:06,076 --> 00:02:08,451
Why do you doubt that?

26
00:02:11,618 --> 00:02:14,868
This is not a story I've told
in its entirety before,

27
00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:19,493
but whenever I've told other men
about experiences,

28
00:02:19,659 --> 00:02:22,701
episodes in my sex life,

29
00:02:22,868 --> 00:02:25,993
it was easy to see
that they became quite excited.

30
00:02:26,159 --> 00:02:28,701
I got excited.

31
00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:32,159
Yes, about the mathematical crap,
not about the story.

32
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:43,868
What kind of a person
are you, actually?

33
00:02:52,284 --> 00:02:54,368
You wouldn't know.

34
00:03:00,493 --> 00:03:02,076
No, but I can guess.

35
00:03:05,743 --> 00:03:08,577
Why didn't I get that earlier?

36
00:03:08,744 --> 00:03:13,785
The fact you don't get excited
over my dirty stories

37
00:03:13,952 --> 00:03:15,994
is because you can't relate
to them.

38
00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:20,952
You've never been with a woman.

39
00:03:32,577 --> 00:03:36,202
That's quite accurate.

40
00:03:36,369 --> 00:03:38,702
Not with a man, either.

41
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,494
Are you sorry about that?

42
00:03:54,119 --> 00:03:59,619
Well, yeah, out of curiosity...

43
00:04:00,910 --> 00:04:04,244
not out of lust,
as you would think.

44
00:04:09,994 --> 00:04:14,952
I consider myself asexual.

45
00:04:15,119 --> 00:04:19,869
Of course, I experimented with
masturbation when I was a teenager,

46
00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:24,285
but it didn't do much for me.

47
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:30,452
So, there's nothing sexual
about me.

48
00:04:36,077 --> 00:04:38,869
It's not as uncommon
as you would think.

49
00:04:39,035 --> 00:04:43,744
And of course, I've read a lot
about sexual subjects...

50
00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:49,077
'Canterbury Tales',' Decameron',
'Thousand and One Nights'.

51
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:53,077
You name it and I've read it
with great interest

52
00:04:53,244 --> 00:04:55,619
and enjoyment,

53
00:04:55,785 --> 00:04:58,494
but only literary enjoyment.

54
00:05:00,452 --> 00:05:02,910
But... but I think
maybe it makes me

55
00:05:03,077 --> 00:05:05,744
a better listener
to your story, and...

56
00:05:05,910 --> 00:05:12,619
I have no preconceived notions
or preferences.

57
00:05:12,785 --> 00:05:16,369
I'm actually the best judge
you could give your story to.

58
00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:19,577
And when it comes to deciding whether
you're a bad human being or not,

59
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I'm... I've no problems with that.

60
00:05:23,119 --> 00:05:26,119
Because I don't look at you
through the glasses

61
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:30,452
colored by sexuality
or sexual experience.

62
00:05:32,577 --> 00:05:34,702
I'm a virgin.

63
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,494
I'm innocent.

64
00:05:59,035 --> 00:06:01,327
She's looking at me.

65
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:04,369
Yes.

66
00:06:04,535 --> 00:06:08,327
It's an icon.
ls it Russian?

67
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:09,827
Yes, it's, uh...

68
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:15,035
It's a skilled copy,
maybe in the manner of Rublev.

69
00:06:20,369 --> 00:06:23,827
Icons are usually connected
to the Eastern Church.

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00:06:23,994 --> 00:06:25,202
The Eastern Church?

71
00:06:26,410 --> 00:06:28,952
I might become a bit theoretical.

72
00:06:30,494 --> 00:06:35,202
You may. I'd like you to tell me
about your picture.

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Although the Christian church
was split up in 1054

74
00:06:40,494 --> 00:06:41,827
because of differences in opinion

75
00:06:41,994 --> 00:06:44,744
between the Eastern Church
and the Western Church,

76
00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:51,119
what we today call the Orthodox Church
and the Roman Catholic Church,

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this is a typical Eastern Church icon.

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00:06:55,077 --> 00:06:58,077
It usually depicts the Virgin Mary

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and the infant Jesus
and more rarely,

80
00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:02,202
for instance, the crucifixion,

81
00:07:02,369 --> 00:07:05,494
which in the Western Church
was much more prevalent.

82
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:09,119
If you generalize, you could say
that the Western Church

83
00:07:09,285 --> 00:07:10,869
is the church of suffering,

84
00:07:11,035 --> 00:07:14,702
and the Eastern Church
is the church of happiness.

85
00:07:17,369 --> 00:07:20,119
Why is she looking right at me?

86
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,369
Well, she's telling a story.

87
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Icons were originally a kind of

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pictorial Bibles for the illiterate.

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00:07:28,452 --> 00:07:30,494
There are some who say you...

90
00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:34,202
you read an icon, even write it.

91
00:07:36,244 --> 00:07:40,953
There are different types of icons.
This is a Hodegetria.

92
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The directions are very important.

93
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She's looking at you, but she's
pointing at the baby Jesus.

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And he's looking at you
and pointing at her.

95
00:07:52,245 --> 00:07:57,370
Do you see how flat it is?
There's no... no perspective.

96
00:07:59,286 --> 00:08:02,453
It's because it's an image of eternity.

97
00:08:03,536 --> 00:08:06,286
And eternity isn't in 3-D.

98
00:08:07,328 --> 00:08:11,370
But you said the Eastern Church
was the church of joy?

99
00:08:12,411 --> 00:08:14,995
Yeah, the sanctities
of the Eastern Church

100
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,620
were all about the joy of faith

101
00:08:17,786 --> 00:08:21,661
while the Western Church wallowed
in... in suffering and death.

102
00:08:21,828 --> 00:08:26,203
If you imagine a... a mental
journey from Rome eastward,

103
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:29,995
you feel how you move away
from guilt and pain

104
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,661
towards joy and light.

105
00:08:31,828 --> 00:08:34,495
But you say
you didn't believe in God.

106
00:08:34,661 --> 00:08:39,911
No, but the concept of religion
is interesting.

107
00:08:40,078 --> 00:08:43,245
Like the concept of sex.

108
00:08:43,411 --> 00:08:45,245
But you won't find me
on my knees

109
00:08:45,411 --> 00:08:47,828
with regards to either.

110
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:52,036
Let's call this chapter,

111
00:08:52,203 --> 00:08:55,078
'The Eastern Church
and the Western Church.'

112
00:08:55,245 --> 00:08:56,870
But it won't be...

113
00:08:57,036 --> 00:09:00,286
it won't be a story about
traveling east from Rome

114
00:09:00,453 --> 00:09:03,703
towards the light,
but rather the opposite.

115
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:07,286
So, in order
not to make it too sad,

116
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I've pepped up the name of
the chapter with an extra title.

117
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,078
I have to go back a bit.

118
00:09:19,245 --> 00:09:23,828
I was 12 years old and
on a school trip in the hills.

119
00:12:02,911 --> 00:12:05,870
Are you making fun of me?
- What do you mean?

120
00:12:06,036 --> 00:12:07,870
You have this orgasm,
not only an orgasm

121
00:12:08,036 --> 00:12:11,329
but a spontaneous orgasm.
- Yes, it was an orgasm,

122
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:15,537
though the doctor described it
as an epileptic seizure.

123
00:12:15,704 --> 00:12:18,996
And during that orgasm,
you had this vision?

124
00:12:19,162 --> 00:12:22,954
Of these two women
on each side of you.

125
00:12:23,121 --> 00:12:26,537
The woman on my right side
seemed to be dressed

126
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,871
in purple and scarlet

127
00:12:29,037 --> 00:12:32,037
with a lot of gold and pearls.

128
00:12:33,079 --> 00:12:36,204
She was carrying a golden goblet
in her hand.

129
00:12:36,371 --> 00:12:41,621
She was sitting
on some strange animal.

130
00:12:41,787 --> 00:12:46,496
And then the other woman
was dressed in Roman clothes,

131
00:12:46,662 --> 00:12:48,454
a baby on her arm

132
00:12:48,621 --> 00:12:53,496
and her hair lay in tight waves
beneath a veil.

133
00:12:57,079 --> 00:13:00,454
Was she holding the veil
with two fingers like this?

134
00:13:01,537 --> 00:13:02,787
And the other woman,

135
00:13:02,954 --> 00:13:07,579
was she sitting on an animal
with seven heads and ten horns?

136
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:12,246
The animal only had one head.
It was kind of a bull.

137
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:19,162
What's the matter?

138
00:13:20,787 --> 00:13:22,287
You're making this up.

139
00:13:22,454 --> 00:13:25,871
No, I'm not. I'm telling you
about my first orgasm,

140
00:13:26,037 --> 00:13:28,496
which came upon me
without the slightest touch

141
00:13:28,662 --> 00:13:32,246
in some strange ways
up in the mountains.

142
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,037
I never had achieved
an orgasm before,

143
00:13:35,204 --> 00:13:36,287
even though I masturbated

144
00:13:36,496 --> 00:13:39,412
as if my life depended on it
during that time.

145
00:13:43,704 --> 00:13:48,829
Your story is like a...
blasphemous retelling

146
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:52,996
of the Transfiguration
of Jesus on the Mount,

147
00:13:53,162 --> 00:13:58,121
which is one of the Eastern Church's
holiest passages.

148
00:13:58,287 --> 00:14:01,746
It's when the humanity of Christ
is illuminated

149
00:14:01,912 --> 00:14:04,287
by the divine light of eternity.

150
00:14:04,454 --> 00:14:08,287
Jesus, Peter and two disciples
had climbed a mountain.

151
00:14:08,454 --> 00:14:10,746
And suddenly,
the disciples see this light

152
00:14:10,912 --> 00:14:13,287
emanating from Jesus' head.

153
00:14:13,412 --> 00:14:16,162
And Moses and Elijah
appear by his side.

154
00:14:16,329 --> 00:14:20,871
And they hear the voice of God,
calling him his son.

155
00:14:21,037 --> 00:14:26,204
The relationship between...
between the two women and you

156
00:14:26,371 --> 00:14:28,746
would be the same
as the relation

157
00:14:28,912 --> 00:14:33,412
between Moses and Elijah
and Jesus.

158
00:14:33,579 --> 00:14:36,204
And that's where
it becomes blasphemous.

159
00:14:37,829 --> 00:14:39,204
I see.

160
00:14:39,371 --> 00:14:40,787
You don't even...

161
00:14:40,954 --> 00:14:43,829
you don't even know who
these women were, do you?

162
00:14:46,829 --> 00:14:50,537
No, but one of them did look
like the Virgin Mary,

163
00:14:50,704 --> 00:14:51,996
now that you mention it.

164
00:14:52,162 --> 00:14:54,079
Well, it wasn't the Virgin Mary,
I can tell you that.

165
00:14:55,454 --> 00:14:56,704
From your description,

166
00:14:56,871 --> 00:14:59,246
it must've been
Valeria Messalina,

167
00:14:59,412 --> 00:15:01,829
the wife of Emperor Claudius,

168
00:15:01,996 --> 00:15:05,621
the most notorious nymphomaniac
in history.

169
00:15:08,287 --> 00:15:10,746
I thought she looked
like your icon.

170
00:15:10,912 --> 00:15:14,037
We have that image
from a statue in the Louvre.

171
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:19,454
It's made like a Hodegetria, but it's
not a religious person, far from it.

172
00:15:20,662 --> 00:15:24,371
And the other woman,
the one astride the creature,

173
00:15:24,537 --> 00:15:27,454
that was no one else
but the great Whore of Babylon,

174
00:15:27,621 --> 00:15:31,537
riding on Nimrod
in the form of a bull.

175
00:15:35,621 --> 00:15:38,204
If anyone else
would've told me that story,

176
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,371
I would've seen it
as a blasphemous joke,

177
00:15:41,537 --> 00:15:43,204
spiced up with a Biblical light

178
00:15:43,371 --> 00:15:47,829
emanating from nothing less
than a spontaneous orgasm.

179
00:15:49,996 --> 00:15:51,912
Goodness gracious.

180
00:15:52,079 --> 00:15:54,787
You demand a lot
of your listener.

181
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:59,454
I promise you I'm as innocent
in regards to the religious

182
00:15:59,621 --> 00:16:02,579
as you are when it comes to sex.

183
00:16:04,454 --> 00:16:07,204
The Transfiguration
on the Venus Mount.

184
00:16:09,954 --> 00:16:13,996
And then later,
you lost your orgasm altogether.

185
00:16:19,371 --> 00:16:21,662
Wagner.'Das Rheingold'.

186
00:16:21,829 --> 00:16:26,329
The descent into Nibelheim.
Was it that bad?

187
00:16:26,496 --> 00:16:29,662
Try to imagine that
in one fell swoop,

188
00:16:29,829 --> 00:16:32,037
you lost all desire to read

189
00:16:32,204 --> 00:16:35,537
and all your love and passion
for books and letters.

190
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,579
I don't even know
if I can imagine that.

191
00:17:00,872 --> 00:17:02,413
Can I help you?

192
00:18:04,372 --> 00:18:06,580
But as so often before in my life,

193
00:18:06,747 --> 00:18:11,205
a bit of hope sprang
from a mystical event.

194
00:18:11,372 --> 00:18:12,538
Which was?

195
00:18:12,705 --> 00:18:17,288
Three dead leaves
performing a strange ballet.

196
00:18:17,455 --> 00:18:21,538
That gave you hope?
For what?

197
00:18:21,705 --> 00:18:26,080
For regaining my sexuality.
- How?

198
00:18:28,538 --> 00:18:31,038
To claim it by force.

199
00:18:58,913 --> 00:19:01,538
In spite of my tireless efforts,

200
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:04,913
my cunt totally failed to respond.

201
00:19:06,247 --> 00:19:08,663
But the fact
that the initiative had shifted

202
00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:11,747
seemed to encourage Jerome greatly.

203
00:19:11,913 --> 00:19:13,788
And I have to admit
there came a time

204
00:19:13,955 --> 00:19:16,747
when we had fun together.

205
00:19:20,663 --> 00:19:22,872
I'll give you a fiver.

206
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,038
Uh-huh.

207
00:19:25,538 --> 00:19:28,163
If you can put this...

208
00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:30,663
up inside your cunt.

209
00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:34,330
A fiver?
- Right.

210
00:19:47,997 --> 00:19:49,913
Shit.

211
00:20:32,538 --> 00:20:35,538
Thank you.
- You're welcome.

212
00:20:38,913 --> 00:20:42,580
Didn't you get any spoons?
- No, we didn't.

213
00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:41,831
So what does this tell us?

214
00:21:41,998 --> 00:21:45,081
That love and sex have nothing
to do with each other, or...

215
00:21:45,248 --> 00:21:48,164
or that they decidedly
work against one another?

216
00:21:48,331 --> 00:21:51,581
The most grotesque thing
was that it was during that period,

217
00:21:51,706 --> 00:21:55,956
where every sexual sensation
was denied me, a period,

218
00:21:56,123 --> 00:21:59,914
I must admit, of secure
and restful domestic comfort.

219
00:22:00,081 --> 00:22:02,914
We had moved in together
and so on,

220
00:22:03,081 --> 00:22:04,498
that I became pregnant,

221
00:22:04,664 --> 00:22:07,623
because I was careless
about my birth control pills.

222
00:22:07,789 --> 00:22:10,789
Consciously or unconsciously,

223
00:22:10,956 --> 00:22:13,956
it was important for me
to have a Caesarean.

224
00:22:14,123 --> 00:22:17,081
I mean, I was hoping that my cunt
was going to fucking work again,

225
00:22:18,164 --> 00:22:20,956
and I had a feeling
that a haphazard birth

226
00:22:21,123 --> 00:22:23,956
wouldn't make things better.

227
00:22:24,123 --> 00:22:26,331
I may have been imagining things,

228
00:22:26,498 --> 00:22:29,539
but as I lay there,
the noise from the instruments

229
00:22:29,706 --> 00:22:33,039
rang out in a chord like
the one from the Little Flock.

230
00:22:34,998 --> 00:22:38,164
Yes. And it wasn't fear.

231
00:22:38,331 --> 00:22:41,873
More like a kind of disgust.

232
00:22:55,998 --> 00:22:59,289
I could've sworn
I saw him laughing.

233
00:22:59,456 --> 00:23:01,498
A laughing son.

234
00:23:01,664 --> 00:23:03,248
In 'Doctor Faustus',
Thomas Mann describes

235
00:23:03,414 --> 00:23:05,914
the birth of Noah's son Ham,

236
00:23:06,081 --> 00:23:07,873
who was laughing when he was born.

237
00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:11,539
Another satanic omen.

238
00:23:15,414 --> 00:23:20,289
Incidentally, the innocent child
was named Marcel after Mars,

239
00:23:20,456 --> 00:23:21,831
the Roman God of War.

240
00:23:21,998 --> 00:23:24,081
And motherhood?

241
00:23:24,248 --> 00:23:28,456
I assume maternal love didn't
quite live up to its expectations.

242
00:23:28,623 --> 00:23:31,331
No, I didn't have
any expectations.

243
00:23:31,498 --> 00:23:34,123
And maternal love
wasn't a problem.

244
00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:38,706
It was just that each time
I looked into the child's eyes,

245
00:23:39,456 --> 00:23:43,956
I had this unsettling feeling
of having been found out.

246
00:23:47,331 --> 00:23:50,623
It's probably
a strange thing to say about a child...

247
00:23:50,789 --> 00:23:54,039
that my love wasn't being returned.

248
00:23:54,206 --> 00:23:57,123
But it was my perception.

249
00:23:59,331 --> 00:24:02,414
If Jerome had hoped for a break
from what was for him

250
00:24:02,581 --> 00:24:06,373
now mostly strenuous work,
he could forget about it.

251
00:24:06,539 --> 00:24:10,248
Achilles was again chasing
the tortoise.

252
00:24:13,623 --> 00:24:16,789
Fill all my holes.
- I can't, Joe.

253
00:24:21,498 --> 00:24:23,248
I'm sorry.

254
00:24:25,914 --> 00:24:27,789
I'm trying.

255
00:24:33,748 --> 00:24:36,748
Can we talk a bit?
- Of course.

256
00:24:41,956 --> 00:24:46,748
I love you. I love your wildness
and your desire. I love you, Joe.

257
00:24:49,081 --> 00:24:50,789
At the moment,
I don't seem to satisfy you

258
00:24:50,956 --> 00:24:53,039
in the way that I'd like to.

259
00:24:54,331 --> 00:24:55,206
Don't get upset, Joe.

260
00:24:55,373 --> 00:24:56,873
It doesn't mean we won't continue
with our sex life,

261
00:24:57,039 --> 00:24:59,373
which is very important to me.

262
00:25:00,748 --> 00:25:02,873
Very important to me.

263
00:25:04,664 --> 00:25:07,873
When you buy a tiger, right,

264
00:25:08,039 --> 00:25:09,998
you also have to feed it.

265
00:25:10,164 --> 00:25:14,831
Um, satisfy it, right?

266
00:25:21,581 --> 00:25:23,831
Long story short.

267
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:25,956
I have a tiger on my hands.

268
00:25:26,123 --> 00:25:28,664
You mean I'm too much for you.
- No.

269
00:25:28,831 --> 00:25:31,289
You're just the way you should be.

270
00:25:31,456 --> 00:25:33,123
I was just thinking
if you would consider

271
00:25:33,289 --> 00:25:36,331
that I get a little help
with the feeding, that's all.

272
00:25:39,706 --> 00:25:43,331
You're saying I should have sex
with others as well.

273
00:25:49,499 --> 00:25:53,832
That's a rather cruel way
of putting it, Joe, but...

274
00:25:53,999 --> 00:25:56,374
But exact.
- Exact.

275
00:26:08,374 --> 00:26:10,832
For a long time I'd
been playing around with the idea

276
00:26:10,999 --> 00:26:13,332
that the concept of
the fuck-me-now clothes

277
00:26:13,499 --> 00:26:14,624
could be improved.

278
00:26:15,957 --> 00:26:17,415
You look nice.

279
00:26:17,582 --> 00:26:20,707
And became the piano teacher.

280
00:26:43,415 --> 00:26:46,457
You okay?
- No.

281
00:26:46,665 --> 00:26:49,499
What's the matter?
- Well, I'm such an idiot with cars.

282
00:26:49,665 --> 00:26:51,749
I don't really know what to do.
Do you mind helping me?

283
00:26:53,790 --> 00:26:57,457
Of course it won't work. The
spark plug caps have been removed.

284
00:26:57,624 --> 00:27:01,582
Yes, I did that.
Was that wrong?

285
00:27:01,749 --> 00:27:03,790
For the first time
I had the pleasure

286
00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:05,832
of having an eight-cylinder car.

287
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:07,749
The possible combinations

288
00:27:07,915 --> 00:27:10,790
of eight spark plug caps
on eight spark plugs

289
00:27:10,957 --> 00:27:13,707
are 40,320,

290
00:27:13,874 --> 00:27:16,582
if I remember
my math correctly.

291
00:27:16,749 --> 00:27:20,249
And only one of these
will make the car run,

292
00:27:20,415 --> 00:27:22,624
which gave me
all the time I needed.

293
00:27:22,790 --> 00:27:25,665
Beethoven, huh?
He was certainly very good,

294
00:27:25,832 --> 00:27:27,540
but, you know,
he couldn't write a fugue.

295
00:27:27,707 --> 00:27:32,499
You think so?
- Well, yeah, I think so.

296
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:50,957
It would be more precise
to say that Beethoven

297
00:27:51,124 --> 00:27:53,707
renewed the fugue.

298
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,415
That he was such a visionary
that the old Bach purists,

299
00:27:58,582 --> 00:28:01,749
they accused him
of not mastering it.

300
00:28:23,957 --> 00:28:25,957
Good day?

301
00:28:33,915 --> 00:28:36,582
Not one word was ever spoken

302
00:28:36,749 --> 00:28:40,040
between me and Jerome
about my piano lessons.

303
00:28:54,249 --> 00:28:56,165
The first time the
mysterious letters

304
00:28:56,332 --> 00:28:57,374
addressed to me arrived,

305
00:28:57,540 --> 00:29:00,165
I, of course, feared that
they were love letters

306
00:29:00,332 --> 00:29:03,540
from someone I'd completely
forgotten about and hid them,

307
00:29:03,707 --> 00:29:07,540
so as not to hurt Jerome
if he should see them.

308
00:29:14,374 --> 00:29:17,749
But as Jerome was always somehow
present when I would get the mail,

309
00:29:17,915 --> 00:29:21,082
and as the envelopes
were always empty,

310
00:29:21,249 --> 00:29:23,290
I understood that the letters,
in fact,

311
00:29:23,457 --> 00:29:27,457
were sent by Jerome himself
as a way of testing me.

312
00:29:29,499 --> 00:29:31,332
My decision not to
show them to him

313
00:29:31,499 --> 00:29:34,124
was exactly the reaction
he had feared,

314
00:29:34,290 --> 00:29:37,124
and it reaffirmed
his insane jealousy

315
00:29:37,290 --> 00:29:40,749
and his fantasies
of the countless times

316
00:29:40,915 --> 00:29:44,457
I would fall in love for real
while being the piano teacher.

317
00:30:13,207 --> 00:30:14,832
And now to reach the heart

318
00:30:14,957 --> 00:30:16,916
of your suffering Western Church,

319
00:30:17,083 --> 00:30:20,291
I have to jump ahead
three years in the story

320
00:30:20,458 --> 00:30:23,583
and talk about my meeting
with what I would call

321
00:30:23,750 --> 00:30:25,000
'The Dangerous Men.'

322
00:30:31,375 --> 00:30:34,458
I was alone with Marcel a lot
during this period,

323
00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:37,500
as Jerome was traveling
most of the time,

324
00:30:37,666 --> 00:30:40,416
and when he was finally home,
he spent most of the time

325
00:30:40,583 --> 00:30:43,083
accusing me of neglecting Marcel,

326
00:30:43,250 --> 00:30:44,583
which, in my opinion,

327
00:30:44,750 --> 00:30:48,000
was just a cover for
his anger over my lovers.

328
00:30:48,166 --> 00:30:52,583
Despite my, to put it mildly,
promiscuous initiatives,

329
00:30:52,791 --> 00:30:56,250
any sexual satisfaction,
let alone orgasm,

330
00:30:56,416 --> 00:30:59,708
was further away than ever before.

331
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,583
I had to make a change.

332
00:31:20,750 --> 00:31:22,625
And somehow,
the inspiration had been

333
00:31:22,791 --> 00:31:26,416
right there beneath my window
the whole time.

334
00:31:26,583 --> 00:31:29,916
I'd planned to go where
I would never before

335
00:31:30,083 --> 00:31:32,000
had dreamt of going.

336
00:31:32,166 --> 00:31:37,416
For instance, to be with a man with
whom I shared no spoken language.

337
00:31:37,583 --> 00:31:40,416
I could feel that
it turned me on enormously

338
00:31:40,583 --> 00:31:43,458
to imagine a sexual situation

339
00:31:43,625 --> 00:31:48,166
in which verbal communication
was impossible.

340
00:31:51,416 --> 00:31:52,500
Hello.
- Hello.

341
00:31:52,666 --> 00:31:54,583
I'm Tobias, the interpreter.

342
00:31:54,750 --> 00:31:57,208
Hello, I'm Joe. Come in.

343
00:31:57,375 --> 00:32:00,041
I understand that you mastered
the African languages.

344
00:32:00,208 --> 00:32:03,000
I do have a basis.

345
00:32:03,166 --> 00:32:05,125
Who and what needs
interpretation?

346
00:32:05,291 --> 00:32:10,500
Um, that man.
The one with the green jacket.

347
00:32:10,666 --> 00:32:13,166
What language is being spoken?

348
00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:15,000
Well, God knows. I...

349
00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:18,166
All I know is that
he doesn't speak English.

350
00:32:36,458 --> 00:32:39,208
It's quite difficult.

351
00:32:39,375 --> 00:32:43,458
But, uh, we did manage
to find a dialect,

352
00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:45,083
of which we both
had some knowledge.

353
00:32:45,250 --> 00:32:46,166
Mm-hm.

354
00:32:48,458 --> 00:32:49,583
You coming?

355
00:32:49,750 --> 00:32:52,375
No, I'll stay here,
and the two of you communicate.

356
00:32:54,458 --> 00:32:57,791
You are to ask him if he wants
to have sex with me.

357
00:32:57,958 --> 00:33:00,416
Sex?
- Mm-hmm.

358
00:33:02,666 --> 00:33:04,875
Yeah, um...

359
00:33:28,833 --> 00:33:32,208
ls it a go?
- It's hard to say.

360
00:33:33,083 --> 00:33:38,166
I've written down
the time and place, but, um...

361
00:33:39,041 --> 00:33:41,125
Honestly, I wouldn't like
to take responsibility

362
00:33:41,291 --> 00:33:44,458
for the precise wording
in this case, which I think,

363
00:33:44,625 --> 00:33:47,875
uh, accidentally may belong

364
00:33:48,041 --> 00:33:51,250
to a Grey zone in my profession.

365
00:33:53,250 --> 00:33:55,666
It was the address of
a cheap hotel.

366
00:34:04,250 --> 00:34:05,666
Why were there two?

367
00:34:05,833 --> 00:34:07,666
My words exactly.

368
00:34:07,833 --> 00:34:11,750
Apparently, N had brought
his brother along.

369
00:36:48,167 --> 00:36:50,042
Why was he so angry?

370
00:36:50,209 --> 00:36:52,834
Clearly, it was something
personal between them,

371
00:36:53,001 --> 00:36:55,709
but later I heard that
performing a sandwich

372
00:36:55,876 --> 00:36:59,084
requires great sensitivity,
since the men apparently

373
00:36:59,251 --> 00:37:01,751
can feel each other
through the tissue.

374
00:37:01,917 --> 00:37:05,334
I imagine the quarrel had
already started on the stairs

375
00:37:05,501 --> 00:37:08,542
and that one or the other party
had laid claim

376
00:37:08,709 --> 00:37:10,709
to one or the other of my holes

377
00:37:10,834 --> 00:37:14,376
in conflict with his Negro
brother's interests.

378
00:37:14,542 --> 00:37:17,209
You shouldn't use that word.

379
00:37:17,376 --> 00:37:20,209
It's not what you call
politically correct.

380
00:37:20,376 --> 00:37:21,417
Negro.

381
00:37:21,584 --> 00:37:24,376
Well, excuse me,
but in my circles,

382
00:37:24,542 --> 00:37:27,251
it's always been a mark of honor
to call a spade a spade.

383
00:37:28,501 --> 00:37:31,376
Each time a word becomes prohibited,

384
00:37:31,542 --> 00:37:34,084
you remove a stone
from the democratic foundation.

385
00:37:34,251 --> 00:37:38,959
Society demonstrates its impotence
in the face of a concrete problem

386
00:37:39,126 --> 00:37:41,042
by removing words
from the language.

387
00:37:41,209 --> 00:37:44,792
The book burners have nothing
on modern society.

388
00:37:44,959 --> 00:37:46,042
I think society would claim

389
00:37:46,209 --> 00:37:49,876
that politically correctness
is a very precise expression

390
00:37:50,042 --> 00:37:52,834
of democratic concern
for minorities.

391
00:37:53,001 --> 00:37:58,001
And I say that society is
as cowardly as the people in it

392
00:37:58,167 --> 00:38:02,042
who, in my opinion, are also
too stupid for democracy.

393
00:38:04,084 --> 00:38:07,751
I understand your point,
but I totally disagree.

394
00:38:07,917 --> 00:38:09,376
I have no doubt
in the human qualities.

395
00:38:10,792 --> 00:38:14,376
The human qualities can be
expressed in one word:

396
00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:15,626
hypocrisy.

397
00:38:16,584 --> 00:38:20,376
We elevate those who say
right but mean wrong,

398
00:38:20,542 --> 00:38:23,376
and mock those who say
wrong but mean right.

399
00:38:25,334 --> 00:38:27,834
Society is based on hate.

400
00:38:28,001 --> 00:38:30,334
It should be based
on forgiveness.

401
00:38:31,626 --> 00:38:34,251
Hatred is rudimentary.

402
00:38:36,167 --> 00:38:39,959
One should be able
to forgive one's executioner.

403
00:38:44,751 --> 00:38:46,834
By the way, I can assure you

404
00:38:47,001 --> 00:38:51,209
that women who claim that Negros
don't turn them on are lying.

405
00:38:51,376 --> 00:38:54,042
So, did they satisfy you?

406
00:38:54,209 --> 00:38:55,917
Those Ne... Negros.

407
00:38:57,459 --> 00:39:02,334
No, but they showed me that
there was a world far from mine

408
00:39:02,501 --> 00:39:04,792
I had to explore.

409
00:39:04,959 --> 00:39:08,001
And there, or perhaps
on the other side

410
00:39:08,167 --> 00:39:09,876
get my life back.

411
00:39:56,085 --> 00:39:58,377
Who are you?

412
00:40:00,460 --> 00:40:01,960
I know what you do.

413
00:40:02,877 --> 00:40:06,210
I'd like to be
one of the women you see.

414
00:40:09,918 --> 00:40:12,168
That's of no interest.

415
00:40:18,043 --> 00:40:19,793
Madame.

416
00:41:12,877 --> 00:41:16,418
Princess,
I specifically said five days,

417
00:41:16,543 --> 00:41:19,793
and five days haven't gone yet.

418
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:25,835
So, you'll have to leave.
Sorry.

419
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,960
You still here?

420
00:41:40,127 --> 00:41:42,210
I, uh...

421
00:41:43,127 --> 00:41:45,585
I don't think this is for you.

422
00:41:48,710 --> 00:41:53,085
Shall we conduct a small test?

423
00:41:56,460 --> 00:41:58,252
Stand up.

424
00:42:06,502 --> 00:42:08,293
Sit down, please.

425
00:42:16,085 --> 00:42:22,043
I just want you to sit
completely relaxed

426
00:42:22,210 --> 00:42:24,793
while I hit you in the face.

427
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:26,668
Nothing special.

428
00:42:26,835 --> 00:42:31,168
It's just a...
it's just a slap.

429
00:42:36,627 --> 00:42:38,335
You ready?

430
00:42:39,835 --> 00:42:41,793
I'm ready.

431
00:42:49,002 --> 00:42:50,793
No!

432
00:42:53,835 --> 00:42:55,377
See?

433
00:43:06,127 --> 00:43:08,835
How mysterious.

434
00:43:09,002 --> 00:43:11,877
Will you give me
a reasonable explanation now,

435
00:43:12,043 --> 00:43:14,293
or shall we wait?

436
00:43:16,168 --> 00:43:17,960
I can't give you an explanation

437
00:43:18,127 --> 00:43:21,210
and certainly not a reasonable one.

438
00:43:21,377 --> 00:43:25,752
What exactly were the rumors
about him?

439
00:43:25,918 --> 00:43:30,418
That he was violent.
- How can that be exciting?

440
00:43:34,043 --> 00:43:36,335
I think the easiest way
to understand it

441
00:43:36,502 --> 00:43:39,127
is to refer to my rebellious nature.

442
00:43:40,710 --> 00:43:45,793
This business of K's was something
I was completely against.

443
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:47,877
So, the fact
that I was now contacting him

444
00:43:48,043 --> 00:43:50,836
was a last, desperate attempt

445
00:43:51,003 --> 00:43:54,086
to rehabilitate my sexuality.

446
00:43:55,044 --> 00:43:58,419
The system was
the overriding factor with K.

447
00:43:59,294 --> 00:44:01,419
A system of violence?

448
00:44:02,211 --> 00:44:05,169
Well, you were the one

449
00:44:05,336 --> 00:44:09,128
who insisted on
the Western Church, right?

450
00:44:09,294 --> 00:44:11,669
And I... I seem to remember

451
00:44:11,836 --> 00:44:15,961
that the systematic approach
to the crucifixion

452
00:44:16,128 --> 00:44:19,711
is of a violent
and not to say sadistic nature.

453
00:44:19,878 --> 00:44:23,878
Oh yes, the Passion of Christ
is full of systematic violence.

454
00:44:24,044 --> 00:44:26,753
The Via Dolorosa,
the Nine Stations of the Cross,

455
00:44:26,919 --> 00:44:29,586
and the 39 lashes.

456
00:44:53,711 --> 00:44:56,503
You are beginning
to irritate me.

457
00:45:26,794 --> 00:45:29,211
Let me tell you the rules, then.

458
00:45:31,169 --> 00:45:33,628
The first rule
is that I don't fuck you,

459
00:45:34,586 --> 00:45:37,836
and there isn't any discussions
about that.

460
00:45:38,836 --> 00:45:41,086
Then, what do you get out of it?

461
00:45:41,253 --> 00:45:46,086
That's my business, and I don't
mean to mention it again.

462
00:45:46,253 --> 00:45:49,919
The second rule
is that we have no safe word,

463
00:45:51,086 --> 00:45:53,628
meaning that if you,
uh, go inside with me,

464
00:45:53,794 --> 00:45:56,544
there is nothing that you can say

465
00:45:56,711 --> 00:46:01,753
that will make me stop
any plan or procedure.

466
00:46:01,919 --> 00:46:06,919
You must bring a brown,
used leather riding crop.

467
00:46:07,086 --> 00:46:12,169
And not one
from a shop selling sex toys.

468
00:46:12,336 --> 00:46:13,961
It's not a masquerade.

469
00:46:16,211 --> 00:46:18,628
Third rule...

470
00:46:18,794 --> 00:46:24,711
If I choose to let you in,
you have to be sitting out here.

471
00:46:24,878 --> 00:46:29,419
In other words, you...
you won't know when.

472
00:46:29,586 --> 00:46:35,128
Only that it would be some time
between 2:00 and 6:00 at night.

473
00:46:35,294 --> 00:46:37,211
I can't stay here that late.

474
00:46:37,378 --> 00:46:41,169
My babysitter's not reliable,
and I can't leave my child.

475
00:46:43,836 --> 00:46:45,461
You don't even know my name!

476
00:46:45,628 --> 00:46:48,044
I'm not interested in your name.

477
00:46:49,503 --> 00:46:51,919
Here, your name is...

478
00:46:54,544 --> 00:46:56,336
Fido.

479
00:47:10,086 --> 00:47:11,628
Can I help you?

480
00:47:11,794 --> 00:47:14,378
I'd like to buy a riding crop.

481
00:47:14,544 --> 00:47:17,878
For what?
- For my horse.

482
00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:20,461
Yes, I understand that part.
What kind of horse?

483
00:47:23,003 --> 00:47:25,878
Well, it's not very big.

484
00:47:26,044 --> 00:47:28,503
No, I just meant is the whip
for dressage or for jumping?

485
00:47:28,669 --> 00:47:30,586
Um...

486
00:47:30,794 --> 00:47:32,294
I don't know.

487
00:47:33,419 --> 00:47:35,961
This is a dressage whip.

488
00:47:36,128 --> 00:47:37,961
Well, it's probably
for jumping, then.

489
00:47:38,128 --> 00:47:40,169
Okay. Like this?

490
00:47:44,253 --> 00:47:46,169
Is it used?
- No.

491
00:47:47,128 --> 00:47:50,086
We do have used whips,
but these are not that expensive.

492
00:47:51,753 --> 00:47:53,586
I prefer a used one.

493
00:47:55,961 --> 00:47:57,503
Okay.

494
00:48:04,669 --> 00:48:07,378
Marcel's awake.

495
00:48:07,544 --> 00:48:09,919
Do you want to say goodbye
to your mom?

496
00:48:10,086 --> 00:48:12,461
Goodbye.

497
00:49:11,504 --> 00:49:12,962
Fido...

498
00:49:35,045 --> 00:49:37,004
I'll take your coat.

499
00:49:57,420 --> 00:49:59,837
I'd like you
to have your hair up.

500
00:50:01,129 --> 00:50:03,837
You can use this.

501
00:50:04,004 --> 00:50:07,795
Just in case it becomes necessary
for me to hit you in the face.

502
00:50:07,962 --> 00:50:10,462
Should I take my clothes off?

503
00:50:11,962 --> 00:50:15,254
I'll tell you
what to do and when.

504
00:50:17,129 --> 00:50:18,754
You may sit down.

505
00:50:29,129 --> 00:50:30,962
Give me your hand.

506
00:50:38,337 --> 00:50:40,754
I wanna see what this knot
looks like on your wrist.

507
00:50:57,587 --> 00:50:58,879
Okay.

508
00:51:05,795 --> 00:51:07,712
You may get UP-

509
00:51:15,129 --> 00:51:17,879
Now you may bend down.
- How?

510
00:51:20,129 --> 00:51:22,045
Approach the chair.

511
00:51:23,754 --> 00:51:25,462
Now bend from the hips.

512
00:51:28,670 --> 00:51:31,587
Look forward. Look forward.
With your head up.

513
00:51:31,754 --> 00:51:34,629
Head up.
Keep looking forward.

514
00:51:41,337 --> 00:51:43,379
Keep looking forward.

515
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:49,795
You may stand up.

516
00:51:51,379 --> 00:51:53,379
We have to use the couch.

517
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:57,754
Come and sit.

518
00:52:00,212 --> 00:52:04,129
Take it easy. Take it easy.

519
00:52:04,295 --> 00:52:06,004
Bend over.

520
00:52:08,587 --> 00:52:10,795
Lay your arms out straight.

521
00:52:21,295 --> 00:52:23,587
Take it easy. Take it easy.

522
00:53:05,130 --> 00:53:08,046
Bring your hands out straight.

523
00:53:08,255 --> 00:53:10,463
Palms facing each other.

524
00:53:18,505 --> 00:53:20,088
Take it easy.

525
00:53:57,088 --> 00:53:59,296
Next time, don't wear knickers.

526
00:54:24,796 --> 00:54:28,005
Your ass is not high enough.

527
00:54:28,171 --> 00:54:29,338
I don't think
we can do this today.

528
00:54:29,505 --> 00:54:31,130
What?

529
00:54:37,963 --> 00:54:40,046
I'd like to see you again
on Thursday.

530
00:54:47,171 --> 00:54:49,505
What's wrong?

531
00:54:49,671 --> 00:54:52,338
I think we should see
how it goes on Thursday.

532
00:55:05,255 --> 00:55:07,088
Hi, I can't
come to the phone right now.

533
00:55:07,255 --> 00:55:09,380
Please, leave a message.

534
00:55:09,588 --> 00:55:12,421
Yes, this is Marcel's mother again.

535
00:55:12,546 --> 00:55:16,963
It's now 1:30.
We had an agreement.

536
00:55:17,130 --> 00:55:21,671
I hope you get this message
and come as quickly as you can.

537
00:55:23,255 --> 00:55:26,088
Ah, Marcel is sleeping.

538
00:55:26,255 --> 00:55:30,380
Uh... I have to go now.

539
00:56:26,171 --> 00:56:28,088
Raise yourself up.

540
00:56:31,005 --> 00:56:32,880
Even further.

541
00:56:36,713 --> 00:56:38,255
Better.

542
00:56:58,338 --> 00:57:02,338
Also so much better.
So much better.

543
00:57:08,755 --> 00:57:11,588
I am now going to hit you 12 times,

544
00:57:11,755 --> 00:57:13,921
no matter how much you scream

545
00:57:14,088 --> 00:57:16,255
'cause no one can hear you
down here.

546
00:57:23,671 --> 00:57:27,506
That's, uh, that's not how it goes.

547
00:57:29,089 --> 00:57:31,839
Most people don't scream
until I hit them.

548
00:58:33,631 --> 00:58:35,256
That's it.

549
00:58:39,381 --> 00:58:43,006
Thank you.
- You're very welcome.

550
00:58:54,256 --> 00:58:56,339
Hello? Are you there?

551
00:58:58,797 --> 00:59:02,256
It's just all so very strange.

552
00:59:02,422 --> 00:59:06,172
Yes. Very, very strange.

553
00:59:06,881 --> 00:59:12,172
Because I was wetter the second time.
There's no doubt about it.

554
00:59:12,339 --> 00:59:15,214
I don't know where we get
our sexuality from

555
00:59:15,381 --> 00:59:19,464
or where tendencies
of this kind come from.

556
00:59:20,506 --> 00:59:23,589
Probably a perversion created
in our childhood

557
00:59:23,756 --> 00:59:26,047
that never manifested itself before.

558
00:59:26,214 --> 00:59:30,631
Well, oddly enough,
Freud says the opposite.

559
00:59:30,797 --> 00:59:34,339
He talks about the polymorphic
perversion of a child,

560
00:59:34,506 --> 00:59:39,631
meaning that in a child,
all kinds of perversions exist.

561
00:59:39,797 --> 00:59:42,964
And then we use
the childhood to diminish

562
00:59:43,131 --> 00:59:45,714
or remove some Of them.

563
00:59:45,881 --> 00:59:49,172
Basically, a child
is sexually polymorphic,

564
00:59:49,339 --> 00:59:52,964
and everything is sexuality
in an infant.

565
00:59:53,131 --> 00:59:56,256
And yet it was deeply bizarre

566
00:59:56,422 --> 01:00:00,297
to lie there and especially
to want to lie there.

567
01:00:04,547 --> 01:00:07,547
I felt invincible.

568
01:00:07,714 --> 01:00:10,381
But mostly,
I felt like a potted plant.

569
01:00:12,006 --> 01:00:13,589
Potted plant?

570
01:00:13,756 --> 01:00:17,797
Yes, because he was constantly
checking my cunt juice.

571
01:00:17,964 --> 01:00:22,922
The way old ladies check their potted
plant to see if they need watering.

572
01:00:25,797 --> 01:00:29,797
It is an interesting point
that you actually lubricated

573
01:00:29,964 --> 01:00:34,047
in expectation for a pain
that you hadn't experienced.

574
01:00:36,006 --> 01:00:38,922
Your body prepared itself
for an intercourse

575
01:00:39,089 --> 01:00:41,506
that you knew wouldn't happen.

576
01:00:43,381 --> 01:00:47,089
I can only describe
the mood as sexual.

577
01:00:49,089 --> 01:00:51,631
Despite K's immature appearance,

578
01:00:51,797 --> 01:00:55,964
his methods were
surprisingly refined.

579
01:00:56,131 --> 01:01:00,631
As I twisted and turned
while he was whipping me,

580
01:01:00,797 --> 01:01:04,547
I could feel
how clever his knots were.

581
01:01:04,714 --> 01:01:08,381
If I fought them,
they would get tighter,

582
01:01:08,547 --> 01:01:12,464
and as I relaxed,
it seemed they did, too.

583
01:01:12,714 --> 01:01:15,214
Hmm.

584
01:01:15,506 --> 01:01:19,131
Like a cat playing with a mouse.

585
01:01:20,589 --> 01:01:22,881
Fooling it to believe
it has a chance of escape

586
01:01:23,047 --> 01:01:26,464
and then attacking it again.

587
01:01:28,506 --> 01:01:34,089
I don't know
what kind of knot K used,

588
01:01:34,256 --> 01:01:39,506
but I know of a knot that tightens
when force is exerted

589
01:01:39,672 --> 01:01:42,422
and vice versa.
It's called a Prusik knot.

590
01:01:42,589 --> 01:01:45,464
It's after a man called Prusik.

591
01:01:45,631 --> 01:01:47,464
He was a mountain climber,

592
01:01:47,631 --> 01:01:49,297
and he and a friend
were out climbing

593
01:01:49,464 --> 01:01:53,797
and they had an accident,
and his friend died.

594
01:01:53,964 --> 01:01:57,215
And he ended up hanging
at the end of a rope

595
01:01:57,382 --> 01:02:00,882
with no possibility
of getting up.

596
01:02:01,048 --> 01:02:03,673
You know, you can't climb
up a mountain climber rope.

597
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:05,632
It's too thin.

598
01:02:05,798 --> 01:02:09,173
But he was an intelligent man,
and with his back to the wall,

599
01:02:09,340 --> 01:02:11,173
he was a genius.

600
01:02:12,923 --> 01:02:16,132
And he took the shoelaces
out of his boots

601
01:02:16,298 --> 01:02:20,423
and made two loops
and affixed them to the rope.

602
01:02:20,590 --> 01:02:22,923
And he could move these up

603
01:02:23,090 --> 01:02:24,340
when they weren't under tension.

604
01:02:24,507 --> 01:02:26,798
And then he could step into them

605
01:02:26,965 --> 01:02:31,048
and climb the rope
and save himself.

606
01:02:31,215 --> 01:02:33,340
Prusik.

607
01:02:35,965 --> 01:02:39,673
I think this was
one of your weakest digressions.

608
01:02:43,673 --> 01:02:48,215
May I continue?
- Be my guest.

609
01:02:52,882 --> 01:02:56,965
Tomorrow bring 15 small coins,
all the same.

610
01:02:59,007 --> 01:03:00,965
No more, no less.

611
01:05:01,798 --> 01:05:05,132
I sometimes give a Christmas present.

612
01:05:05,882 --> 01:05:09,548
But uh, you have
to do the work yourself.

613
01:05:09,715 --> 01:05:12,423
I'm going to show you how to do it.

614
01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:29,340
This is called a blood knot.

615
01:05:29,507 --> 01:05:33,840
You have to make nine ropes
with three blood knots on each.

616
01:05:34,007 --> 01:05:35,840
Let me see you do it.

617
01:05:36,007 --> 01:05:40,715
You decide whether
to make four, five, or six turns

618
01:05:40,882 --> 01:05:42,882
on the various knots.

619
01:05:54,090 --> 01:05:55,798
Let me see.

620
01:06:03,090 --> 01:06:05,215
That's fine.

621
01:06:05,382 --> 01:06:08,507
If you... if you start with one knot

622
01:06:08,673 --> 01:06:11,423
at the top of the rope,

623
01:06:11,590 --> 01:06:16,340
and then you have to put two
more knots at a distance of...

624
01:06:16,507 --> 01:06:20,673
Well, between 10 and 20
centimeters to be exact,

625
01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:22,423
but the most important thing
with blood knots

626
01:06:22,590 --> 01:06:25,673
on the nine ropes is
that they are placed differently

627
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:28,215
and that they are staggered.

628
01:06:34,133 --> 01:06:36,966
The cat-o-nine-tails
is often called

629
01:06:37,133 --> 01:06:40,008
the 'Captain's Daughter'
aboard ships.

630
01:06:43,883 --> 01:06:46,133
The blood knot is important

631
01:06:46,299 --> 01:06:49,049
because those are the ones
that break the skin and not,

632
01:06:49,674 --> 01:06:55,424
as erroneously thought,
the end of the rope.

633
01:06:55,591 --> 01:07:01,424
A gallows knot is also a kind of
a blood knot with many turns.

634
01:07:01,591 --> 01:07:06,091
The American military standard
demanded five to 15 turns,

635
01:07:06,258 --> 01:07:09,299
as it was the turns placed behind
the left ear of the delinquent

636
01:07:09,466 --> 01:07:12,674
that would break the neck
of the condemned as he fell.

637
01:07:16,216 --> 01:07:18,008
I'll take it from here.

638
01:10:08,549 --> 01:10:10,216
Joe?

639
01:10:12,091 --> 01:10:13,633
Love?

640
01:10:23,674 --> 01:10:25,049
Marcel?

641
01:10:28,924 --> 01:10:30,383
Marcel.

642
01:11:10,175 --> 01:11:13,217
Are you fond of me still?
- Yes.

643
01:11:13,384 --> 01:11:16,342
More fond of me than the others?

644
01:11:18,300 --> 01:11:21,175
Yes'?
- Yes.

645
01:11:21,342 --> 01:11:25,050
You're not thinking of leaving
again tonight, are you?

646
01:11:25,217 --> 01:11:26,425
No.
- No?

647
01:11:26,592 --> 01:11:29,050
No, no. Not at all.
- You sure?

648
01:11:30,634 --> 01:11:31,759
Yeah.

649
01:11:31,925 --> 01:11:34,675
Are you lying to me, Joe?

650
01:11:34,842 --> 01:11:36,717
No.
- Be honest.

651
01:11:36,884 --> 01:11:41,384
It's all right.
Just fucking say it.

652
01:11:41,550 --> 01:11:43,884
No, I... I just want to be here.

653
01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:45,884
Why?

654
01:11:49,675 --> 01:11:51,550
I don't know.

655
01:11:57,800 --> 01:12:00,884
If you leave tonight,

656
01:12:01,050 --> 01:12:04,592
you'll never see me or Marcel
ever again in your life.

657
01:12:08,259 --> 01:12:10,300
You understand?

658
01:13:26,134 --> 01:13:27,925
ls this goodbye?

659
01:13:31,175 --> 01:13:34,175
ls that what you're saying?

660
01:13:34,342 --> 01:13:35,634
Marcel, get up.

661
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:37,925
Stop it.
- ls that what you want?

662
01:13:39,467 --> 01:13:43,092
Yeah, so you could see him.
Look at him, Joe.

663
01:13:48,592 --> 01:13:51,592
Let's face it,
Joe, you're not a mother.

664
01:13:53,592 --> 01:13:55,175
Let's wake him up.

665
01:13:55,342 --> 01:13:59,717
Marcel, baby boy.
Say bye, Mom.

666
01:14:00,884 --> 01:14:03,509
Please, put him...
- ls this what you want?

667
01:14:07,300 --> 01:14:09,009
You see?

668
01:14:09,175 --> 01:14:12,217
You see, he wants you.

669
01:14:12,384 --> 01:14:14,217
Come.

670
01:14:15,175 --> 01:14:18,259
It's Christmas.
It's fucking Christmas.

671
01:14:41,134 --> 01:14:42,384
What is this?

672
01:14:44,425 --> 01:14:47,675
Today it's Madame who must wait.

673
01:14:55,925 --> 01:14:57,884
Madame, I'm very sorry,

674
01:14:58,050 --> 01:15:01,009
but I have to have a few words
with Fido first.

675
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:14,425
Your behavior is really
upsetting me today.

676
01:15:25,175 --> 01:15:28,009
I really ought to send you home.

677
01:15:49,926 --> 01:15:51,968
Happy Christmas, Fido.

678
01:16:54,260 --> 01:16:56,885
I want your cock.
- What did you say?

679
01:16:58,385 --> 01:16:59,926
I want your cock.

680
01:17:00,093 --> 01:17:03,676
No, you don't.
No, you don't.

681
01:17:07,010 --> 01:17:09,176
What's the matter with you today?

682
01:17:30,885 --> 01:17:36,426
On account of the holidays
and your behavior today,

683
01:17:36,593 --> 01:17:38,885
I'm going to give you
the original Roman maximum

684
01:17:39,051 --> 01:17:42,051
of 40 lashes.
Are you ready, Fido?

685
01:17:44,260 --> 01:17:45,801
I'm ready.

686
01:17:51,135 --> 01:17:52,885
One.

687
01:17:55,176 --> 01:17:56,176
Two.

688
01:17:58,468 --> 01:17:59,510
Three.

689
01:18:02,010 --> 01:18:03,426
Four.

690
01:18:04,718 --> 01:18:05,926
Five.

691
01:18:08,218 --> 01:18:09,635
Six.

692
01:18:22,968 --> 01:18:25,343
I'd seen through K's
knot technique,

693
01:18:25,510 --> 01:18:28,010
so I was able to loosen
my position a bit

694
01:18:28,176 --> 01:18:30,843
to move my pelvis
and thereby stimulate

695
01:18:31,010 --> 01:18:33,718
my clitoris against the cover
of the book.

696
01:18:59,093 --> 01:19:00,551
Forty.

697
01:19:11,260 --> 01:19:16,260
And when you came home,
Jerome and the child were gone?

698
01:19:23,093 --> 01:19:26,135
I haven't seen Marcel since.

699
01:19:29,676 --> 01:19:34,260
This sentimentality...
I hate it.

700
01:19:37,510 --> 01:19:40,926
Why?
- Because it's a lie.

701
01:19:45,218 --> 01:19:47,051
Are you sure?

702
01:19:54,051 --> 01:19:56,051
Jerome understood
that he couldn't prioritize

703
01:19:56,218 --> 01:20:00,926
his life according to a child either,

704
01:20:01,093 --> 01:20:04,052
so he put him in a foster home.

705
01:20:06,969 --> 01:20:09,761
My only contact to the boy
is the thousand pounds

706
01:20:09,969 --> 01:20:12,886
I put in his account every month.

707
01:20:13,052 --> 01:20:14,511
Anonymously.

708
01:20:17,677 --> 01:20:19,886
As a penance.

709
01:20:29,802 --> 01:20:31,011
Every time I leave,

710
01:20:31,177 --> 01:20:35,136
I have this feeling that
when I return, you'll be gone.

711
01:20:39,052 --> 01:20:40,927
And all I can hear
is the cat flap,

712
01:20:41,094 --> 01:20:44,552
swinging back and forth.

713
01:20:47,302 --> 01:20:50,719
Thank you. I didn't know
you had a cat flap.

714
01:20:51,552 --> 01:20:52,761
I used to have a cat,

715
01:20:52,927 --> 01:20:56,261
so I have a cat flap
in the door to the stairwell.

716
01:20:56,427 --> 01:20:58,219
But how did it get outside?

717
01:21:01,261 --> 01:21:05,552
I never thought of that.
I suppose through the basement.

718
01:21:05,719 --> 01:21:07,427
The thing is...

719
01:21:07,594 --> 01:21:10,427
Every time someone opens
the door to the street,

720
01:21:10,594 --> 01:21:13,677
the cat flap squeaks.

721
01:21:13,844 --> 01:21:15,677
There's a lot of drafts
in the house.

722
01:21:17,219 --> 01:21:19,969
It hasn't squeaked yet.

723
01:21:20,969 --> 01:21:24,302
No, there's not many people
coming and going.

724
01:21:24,469 --> 01:21:26,427
That's a bit creepy.

725
01:21:26,594 --> 01:21:29,802
No, I like it.

726
01:21:29,969 --> 01:21:33,844
It's... it's peaceful.

727
01:21:38,511 --> 01:21:43,844
After all this sadness, may I ask
what happened to the silent duck?

728
01:21:44,886 --> 01:21:48,802
Oh, shit. The silent duck.

729
01:21:48,969 --> 01:21:51,719
I'd forgotten all about it.

730
01:21:52,677 --> 01:21:55,427
One night K had been
in what was for him

731
01:21:55,594 --> 01:21:57,511
an unusually good mood.

732
01:21:57,677 --> 01:22:00,177
I don't know what caused it,
but he didn't hit hard,

733
01:22:00,344 --> 01:22:02,469
and he joked that
he would introduce me

734
01:22:02,636 --> 01:22:05,469
to the concept
of the silent duck.

735
01:22:30,719 --> 01:22:34,677
One hardly dare
imagine the quacking duck.

736
01:22:47,969 --> 01:22:50,886
Well, deep down,

737
01:22:51,052 --> 01:22:54,177
little K seems
to have been a jolly man

738
01:22:54,386 --> 01:22:55,552
with versatile talents.

739
01:22:55,719 --> 01:22:59,511
But he got that bit
about Roman punishment

740
01:22:59,677 --> 01:23:02,094
and the 40 lashes wrong.

741
01:23:02,261 --> 01:23:03,886
Because it's true that
the highest punishment

742
01:23:04,052 --> 01:23:09,052
was 40 lashes, but it had to be
delivered in series of three.

743
01:23:09,219 --> 01:23:11,094
That's why Jesus
only got 39 lashes

744
01:23:11,261 --> 01:23:16,886
because three goes
into 39 but not into 40.

745
01:23:19,761 --> 01:23:22,969
Well, I don't know about K
being jolly.

746
01:23:23,136 --> 01:23:25,594
His position as a sadist

747
01:23:25,761 --> 01:23:28,886
wasn't perhaps as enviable
as it might first appear.

748
01:23:29,052 --> 01:23:34,094
Superficially, the sadist
acts as the decider.

749
01:23:34,927 --> 01:23:37,844
But I once had a conversation
with a prostitute,

750
01:23:37,969 --> 01:23:40,469
who had tried all the variations
in her field.

751
01:23:40,636 --> 01:23:42,261
She wasn't surprised by anything.

752
01:23:42,427 --> 01:23:47,302
And she admitted to have only
masochists.

753
01:23:48,219 --> 01:23:49,344
Masochists, for her,

754
01:23:49,511 --> 01:23:52,469
were the most demanding
and the most ungrateful.

755
01:23:53,427 --> 01:23:55,844
First, she were
to deduce their desire

756
01:23:56,011 --> 01:23:57,719
by reading their thoughts,

757
01:23:57,886 --> 01:24:01,844
then perform without
any alteration from the norm,

758
01:24:02,011 --> 01:24:05,177
and after which,
unlike other clients

759
01:24:05,344 --> 01:24:08,677
and the most honorable sadists,
for example,

760
01:24:08,844 --> 01:24:10,761
you never received any thanks,

761
01:24:11,677 --> 01:24:14,469
let alone gifts or flowers.

762
01:24:19,052 --> 01:24:21,886
I never went
in that direction again,

763
01:24:22,052 --> 01:24:24,511
neither back to K or masochism.

764
01:24:34,802 --> 01:24:37,512
But I took the orgasm with me.

765
01:24:38,928 --> 01:24:43,470
You yet have to show me one
single example of maliciousness.

766
01:24:44,262 --> 01:24:46,678
But that's all I'm doing!

767
01:24:46,845 --> 01:24:49,637
It's as if you want
to misunderstand me.

768
01:24:49,803 --> 01:24:53,428
You keep inventing
complicated and false excuses

769
01:24:53,595 --> 01:24:56,053
for my despicable
and selfish actions.

770
01:24:58,303 --> 01:25:00,053
During the time
when our relationship

771
01:25:00,220 --> 01:25:03,053
was going downhill,
Jerome really tried his best.

772
01:25:06,262 --> 01:25:07,845
I bought you something.

773
01:25:08,012 --> 01:25:09,762
You bought me something?
- I'm sure you'll love it.

774
01:25:11,387 --> 01:25:14,220
Wow, it's a ring.
- Yeah.

775
01:25:15,262 --> 01:25:16,303
It's beautiful.

776
01:25:16,470 --> 01:25:19,595
It was impossible
for me to work out Jerome's income.

777
01:25:19,762 --> 01:25:23,637
Sometimes he had lots of money
and other times none,

778
01:25:23,803 --> 01:25:25,053
which I later thought perhaps

779
01:25:25,220 --> 01:25:28,512
meant that his work
was not entirely above board.

780
01:25:28,678 --> 01:25:31,762
But this time
he'd really gone all out.

781
01:25:31,928 --> 01:25:36,470
That must've been so expensive.
- Well, it wasn't cheap.

782
01:25:36,637 --> 01:25:38,720
Best craftsmanship.
- Hmm.

783
01:25:38,887 --> 01:25:41,053
I'll guarantee you that.

784
01:25:41,220 --> 01:25:43,678
Let's play a game, then.

785
01:25:43,845 --> 01:25:46,095
A game?
- Mm-hmm. Get up.

786
01:25:46,262 --> 01:25:47,345
Okay.

787
01:25:47,512 --> 01:25:49,720
It's called 'Cinderella'.
- I don't know it.

788
01:25:49,887 --> 01:25:51,762
You will.
- Okay.

789
01:25:51,928 --> 01:25:53,803
Right.
- No, you don't touch it.

790
01:25:53,970 --> 01:25:55,512
Okay.
- You just look at it.

791
01:25:57,970 --> 01:25:59,762
Okay? Are you ready?

792
01:26:01,303 --> 01:26:02,928
Yes.
- Steady.

793
01:26:03,095 --> 01:26:05,387
Steady.

794
01:26:05,553 --> 01:26:07,303
Go.
- Fuck! Joe!

795
01:26:07,470 --> 01:26:08,678
Come on, Cinderella.

796
01:26:08,845 --> 01:26:11,303
Oh, fuck.
- Come on, come on.

797
01:26:11,470 --> 01:26:14,762
Joe! For fuck's sake.

798
01:26:14,928 --> 01:26:17,095
Move!
- Cinderella, Cinderella!

799
01:26:17,262 --> 01:26:20,345
Fuck! Are you mad, Joe?

800
01:26:21,220 --> 01:26:24,012
Are you fucking mad?
Fuck!Fuck.

801
01:26:24,178 --> 01:26:27,137
£7,000, Joe!

802
01:26:28,887 --> 01:26:30,303
Did he find it?

803
01:26:30,470 --> 01:26:35,345
Oh yes, and returned it
and got all his money back.

804
01:26:35,512 --> 01:26:40,095
So can you call this game
anything other than malicious?

805
01:26:44,970 --> 01:26:47,637
Let me chew on that for a while.

806
01:26:51,595 --> 01:26:54,678
So it wasn't the diamond that
you're wearing around your neck?

807
01:26:54,845 --> 01:26:58,137
No. But that was a gift, too.

808
01:26:58,303 --> 01:27:00,220
But I have to be honest and say

809
01:27:00,387 --> 01:27:03,178
I can't remember the person
who gave it to me.

810
01:27:04,137 --> 01:27:07,095
I've always been in...
in the theoretical way, of course,

811
01:27:07,262 --> 01:27:09,262
interested in diamonds
and their cuts.

812
01:27:09,428 --> 01:27:12,303
The word 'brilliant'
refers to the cut.

813
01:27:12,470 --> 01:27:15,220
Diamond is the stone.

814
01:27:17,095 --> 01:27:19,178
If we use the word 'divine'
in connection

815
01:27:19,345 --> 01:27:21,428
with the Golden Section
and Fibonacci,

816
01:27:21,595 --> 01:27:23,720
the brilliant cut is nothing less.

817
01:27:24,470 --> 01:27:27,637
It's a frighteningly refined cut.

818
01:27:27,803 --> 01:27:30,387
Fifty-seven facets.

819
01:27:30,553 --> 01:27:33,720
The theory is that the light
enters through the top plane,

820
01:27:33,887 --> 01:27:38,137
which is called the table
or in some languages the mirror,

821
01:27:38,303 --> 01:27:42,428
and then inside the diamond
is refracted in all the facets

822
01:27:42,595 --> 01:27:44,428
and thrown out the same way,

823
01:27:44,595 --> 01:27:49,595
creating a absolutely unique
light effect.

824
01:27:51,637 --> 01:27:55,428
So, it's called a mirror.
I didn't know that.

825
01:27:56,637 --> 01:27:58,428
You have a mirror, too.

826
01:28:00,887 --> 01:28:02,595
Yeah.

827
01:28:02,762 --> 01:28:05,178
It's like a thought, isn't it?

828
01:28:34,803 --> 01:28:36,053
Some years later,

829
01:28:36,220 --> 01:28:39,428
the bodily abuse
began to have an effect.

830
01:28:39,678 --> 01:28:42,928
First, rare bleedings
from my clitoris,

831
01:28:43,095 --> 01:28:46,470
but then they became
more and more frequent.

832
01:28:56,178 --> 01:28:57,762
Come in.

833
01:29:01,387 --> 01:29:05,095
But I really need my salary.

834
01:29:05,262 --> 01:29:06,846
I know.

835
01:29:08,221 --> 01:29:10,721
And I'd like to help you.

836
01:29:11,596 --> 01:29:14,846
Have you heard any
of the rumors about yourself?

837
01:29:18,429 --> 01:29:21,096
They say you see men
every evening

838
01:29:24,221 --> 01:29:26,971
and spend all night with them.

839
01:29:27,138 --> 01:29:30,388
They say you can't be trusted,
all of them.

840
01:29:32,804 --> 01:29:35,013
Why do they say that?

841
01:29:36,929 --> 01:29:39,554
I suppose they're afraid
that I...

842
01:29:39,721 --> 01:29:43,221
I can't keep away
from their men.

843
01:29:45,346 --> 01:29:48,221
Right. And can you?

844
01:29:49,429 --> 01:29:50,804
No.

845
01:29:53,929 --> 01:29:56,429
I've spoken with a psychologist.

846
01:29:57,763 --> 01:29:59,638
He says you're addicted,

847
01:29:59,804 --> 01:30:02,388
but that it's not the kind of
addiction that can't be treated.

848
01:30:03,096 --> 01:30:06,096
They have some groups.

849
01:30:06,263 --> 01:30:08,763
I know about these kinds
of groups.

850
01:30:08,929 --> 01:30:11,971
I don't have anything
to say to a psychologist.

851
01:30:12,138 --> 01:30:15,138
I'm not suggesting therapy.
I'm demanding it.

852
01:30:16,596 --> 01:30:18,721
Even if you leave us,
it'll be the same at your next job

853
01:30:18,888 --> 01:30:21,346
and the one after that.

854
01:30:26,304 --> 01:30:28,763
Why didn't you want to speak
with a psychologist?

855
01:30:30,304 --> 01:30:33,554
It's an old story.
I just don't like them.

856
01:30:36,888 --> 01:30:38,763
Well, if you insist
that I try to understand,

857
01:30:38,929 --> 01:30:41,054
then you have
to tell me that story as well.

858
01:30:41,221 --> 01:30:43,513
The old story.

859
01:30:44,679 --> 01:30:47,596
Okay. Okay.

860
01:30:47,763 --> 01:30:50,179
It's not that old after all.

861
01:30:50,929 --> 01:30:55,429
It was about a year after
I'd lost Marcel and Jerome.

862
01:31:02,554 --> 01:31:03,929
Okay.

863
01:31:05,263 --> 01:31:08,013
I'd been careless
with my birth control pills before,

864
01:31:08,179 --> 01:31:10,721
and now I just didn't use them.

865
01:31:10,929 --> 01:31:12,888
Didn't the
whole experience with Marcel

866
01:31:13,054 --> 01:31:15,971
convince you that there was no
room for children in your life?

867
01:31:16,179 --> 01:31:17,804
That's right.

868
01:31:22,554 --> 01:31:24,763
I know it sounds
incomprehensible,

869
01:31:24,929 --> 01:31:27,429
but actually, it was because
of my crippling fear

870
01:31:27,596 --> 01:31:30,721
of becoming pregnant
that I didn't take the pills.

871
01:31:30,888 --> 01:31:32,929
It's probably impossible
to understand.

872
01:31:33,096 --> 01:31:36,679
No, it makes sense to me.

873
01:31:36,846 --> 01:31:38,971
You were so afraid
of getting pregnant

874
01:31:39,138 --> 01:31:42,554
that you repressed
the possibility of it.

875
01:31:42,721 --> 01:31:45,971
You couldn't even handle
seeing the box of pills.

876
01:31:51,554 --> 01:31:53,013
Okay.

877
01:31:58,429 --> 01:32:00,304
Would you turn it down?

878
01:32:02,971 --> 01:32:05,596
If you look at the screen
you can see your child,

879
01:32:05,763 --> 01:32:07,513
but I can't tell you
the gender yet.

880
01:32:07,679 --> 01:32:10,263
I don't give a shit
about the gender.

881
01:32:10,429 --> 01:32:11,846
I want it removed.

882
01:32:14,888 --> 01:32:18,304
Okay. Uh, you're in week eleven.

883
01:32:18,471 --> 01:32:23,013
So legally, there are
no barriers for an abortion.

884
01:32:23,179 --> 01:32:26,054
Yes, I know that.
Just remove it.

885
01:32:26,221 --> 01:32:30,554
Well, we have some procedures
to follow.

886
01:32:30,721 --> 01:32:32,346
There's nothing more
to talk about.

887
01:32:32,513 --> 01:32:34,554
I can have it removed.
I want it removed.

888
01:32:34,721 --> 01:32:37,721
It is a very big decision,
best not made in haste.

889
01:32:37,888 --> 01:32:40,638
Didn't you understand
what I just said?

890
01:32:40,804 --> 01:32:43,179
Okay, there's
an informative consultation

891
01:32:43,346 --> 01:32:46,721
with our psychologist before
you can have the procedure.

892
01:32:55,679 --> 01:32:58,096
You didn't really fill out the form.

893
01:32:58,263 --> 01:33:00,179
Maybe you didn't have time,

894
01:33:00,346 --> 01:33:05,388
uh, so I will need
to ask a few more questions.

895
01:33:05,554 --> 01:33:09,096
What's the most important thing
in your life right now?

896
01:33:09,263 --> 01:33:13,346
It could be many things,
your family, your friends, your...

897
01:33:13,513 --> 01:33:15,638
The most important thing
for me right now

898
01:33:15,804 --> 01:33:17,929
is to get an abortion.

899
01:33:19,679 --> 01:33:22,763
Yes. Well, that's what
we're going to resolve together.

900
01:33:25,138 --> 01:33:27,596
I need some information.

901
01:33:30,221 --> 01:33:32,054
Do you love the father?

902
01:33:32,221 --> 01:33:35,513
That's none of your business.

903
01:33:35,679 --> 01:33:40,930
Well, it is my business
because I'm here to form

904
01:33:41,097 --> 01:33:43,847
an impression
of your circumstances.

905
01:33:44,014 --> 01:33:45,805
That's my job.

906
01:33:45,972 --> 01:33:47,764
Okay, so what would you
most like me

907
01:33:47,930 --> 01:33:51,430
to answer about the father in order
to get the fucking abortion?

908
01:33:51,597 --> 01:33:54,347
That I love him,
or that I don't love him?

909
01:33:54,514 --> 01:33:59,055
Or that I... I don't know him
because I fuck tons of men?

910
01:34:04,347 --> 01:34:07,305
I, uh, see that
you were emotional

911
01:34:07,472 --> 01:34:09,680
during the doctor's examination.

912
01:34:09,847 --> 01:34:11,972
I think you're emotional.

913
01:34:12,139 --> 01:34:16,180
Please, listen. This is what we call
an informative consultation.

914
01:34:16,347 --> 01:34:18,389
What is it I need
to be informed of?

915
01:34:18,555 --> 01:34:20,597
That you can't
stuff the kid back inside?

916
01:34:20,764 --> 01:34:23,264
I already know that.

917
01:34:24,514 --> 01:34:26,639
I just need to be certain

918
01:34:26,805 --> 01:34:29,014
that you're completely sure
about your choice,

919
01:34:29,180 --> 01:34:32,347
and my professional opinion
based on your behavior

920
01:34:32,514 --> 01:34:33,764
is that clearly you're not.

921
01:34:33,930 --> 01:34:36,097
I've never been more sure
in my life.

922
01:34:36,264 --> 01:34:38,847
I want that fetus out right now.

923
01:34:39,014 --> 01:34:42,222
And as a professional, I cannot
defend recommending an abortion

924
01:34:42,389 --> 01:34:43,472
based on this conversation.

925
01:34:43,680 --> 01:34:47,680
I've already had a kid!
I know what I want!

926
01:34:47,847 --> 01:34:49,222
Fuck you.

927
01:34:55,930 --> 01:34:58,805
There were,
of course, many ways to do it.

928
01:34:58,972 --> 01:35:01,597
But I had chosen to follow
the common medical procedure

929
01:35:01,764 --> 01:35:04,555
I had learnt
while studying medicine,

930
01:35:04,722 --> 01:35:06,847
as it was of great importance
for me

931
01:35:07,014 --> 01:35:10,347
to get the fetus out straight away
rather than wait for it

932
01:35:10,514 --> 01:35:13,430
to be expelled
a couple of days later.

933
01:36:36,555 --> 01:36:39,430
Clearly, the most painful part

934
01:36:39,597 --> 01:36:42,472
would be the gradual opening
of the cervix,

935
01:36:42,639 --> 01:36:46,889
which otherwise was always done
under anesthesia.

936
01:38:50,973 --> 01:38:53,431
wasps, sobs)

937
01:39:12,181 --> 01:39:14,348
Say something, Pierrot.

938
01:39:16,306 --> 01:39:17,390
What do you mean?

939
01:39:17,556 --> 01:39:20,348
Well, you always have
so many clever things to say.

940
01:39:26,181 --> 01:39:29,598
Well, I... I feel bad for you

941
01:39:29,765 --> 01:39:31,640
that you had to cause yourself
so much pain.

942
01:39:38,056 --> 01:39:42,473
But the... the abortion
is completely understandable.

943
01:39:42,640 --> 01:39:43,765
You simply thought the child

944
01:39:43,931 --> 01:39:46,390
wouldn't have
a life worth living, so...

945
01:39:47,015 --> 01:39:49,015
Yeah, but the abortion in itself.

946
01:39:49,181 --> 01:39:51,973
Abortion is not murder.
- Oh, come on.

947
01:39:52,140 --> 01:39:56,056
Don't fall back on false clichés
just for my sake.

948
01:39:56,223 --> 01:39:58,931
I ask again,
what about the abortion?

949
01:39:59,098 --> 01:40:00,223
I have no comment.

950
01:40:00,390 --> 01:40:03,390
I'm a big proponent
for abortion rights,

951
01:40:03,556 --> 01:40:06,140
but this is 100% female territory.

952
01:40:06,306 --> 01:40:08,556
I don't believe a man
can ever comprehend

953
01:40:08,723 --> 01:40:11,306
the situation or the pain.

954
01:40:11,473 --> 01:40:15,390
And when it comes to the method,
I think the less said, the better.

955
01:40:15,556 --> 01:40:18,556
Those are two
very interesting points of view.

956
01:40:18,723 --> 01:40:21,556
First, you say that as a man,

957
01:40:21,723 --> 01:40:23,848
you can't understand
a woman's feelings

958
01:40:24,015 --> 01:40:26,515
with regard to abortion.

959
01:40:26,681 --> 01:40:29,598
Well, that's a bit like saying
that I couldn't understand

960
01:40:29,765 --> 01:40:32,515
the victims of earthquakes
because they were Chinese.

961
01:40:34,056 --> 01:40:36,848
I thought we agreed that empathy

962
01:40:37,015 --> 01:40:39,765
was the foundation
of all humanism.

963
01:40:39,931 --> 01:40:42,848
But I can see that it's very
convenient for men

964
01:40:43,015 --> 01:40:46,098
to leave all that abortion
stuff to women.

965
01:40:46,265 --> 01:40:47,890
That way they don't have
to deal with the guilt

966
01:40:48,056 --> 01:40:51,015
and all of the small stuff.

967
01:40:51,181 --> 01:40:53,765
But your other remark
provokes me even more.

968
01:40:53,931 --> 01:40:57,223
You think my method
is not worth discussing?

969
01:40:59,348 --> 01:41:02,931
What enjoyment would I,
or let alone a young pregnant girl,

970
01:41:03,098 --> 01:41:04,890
have from hearing
all the lurid details

971
01:41:05,056 --> 01:41:09,140
about how a fetus is removed
in a clinic or any other way?

972
01:41:11,181 --> 01:41:12,973
Well, then,
we're back at the discussion

973
01:41:13,140 --> 01:41:15,681
about eating something
that was once alive.

974
01:41:15,848 --> 01:41:19,723
Do you really think
abortion is so repugnant

975
01:41:19,890 --> 01:41:21,473
if you believe
that we should know

976
01:41:21,640 --> 01:41:25,140
how animals are slaughtered
in order to eat them?

977
01:41:25,306 --> 01:41:27,306
Well, that's a fact
we have to live with,

978
01:41:27,473 --> 01:41:29,598
even if we try to repress it.

979
01:41:29,765 --> 01:41:31,181
Just as we do with abortion.

980
01:41:31,348 --> 01:41:34,181
Well, you sound
like a pro-lifer from Texas.

981
01:41:35,890 --> 01:41:37,515
I don't think so.

982
01:41:38,306 --> 01:41:41,056
First of all, I'm just
as much a pro-choice as you are.

983
01:41:41,223 --> 01:41:42,598
But on principle,

984
01:41:42,765 --> 01:41:46,681
I believe that taboos
are damaging for human beings.

985
01:41:47,723 --> 01:41:50,515
That's a relatively easy stance
for you to take.

986
01:41:53,473 --> 01:41:56,556
One that can be misconstrued
as a...

987
01:41:56,723 --> 01:41:59,556
as an argument
against pregnancy termination.

988
01:42:01,848 --> 01:42:03,390
I don't want
to belittle anything,

989
01:42:03,556 --> 01:42:06,973
but I can't see your abortion
as anything but a...

990
01:42:08,223 --> 01:42:09,848
luxury problem.

991
01:42:13,265 --> 01:42:15,431
A luxury problem?

992
01:42:15,598 --> 01:42:18,806
The really serious,
serious abortions,

993
01:42:18,973 --> 01:42:24,056
the ones that save lives,
far from our social spheres,

994
01:42:24,223 --> 01:42:25,890
you can't endanger them
just because you

995
01:42:26,056 --> 01:42:28,723
provocatively insist
on showing the gory details.

996
01:42:30,056 --> 01:42:33,556
Consider all the millions
of repressed women,

997
01:42:33,723 --> 01:42:38,265
the victims of rape
and incest, hunger.

998
01:42:38,431 --> 01:42:41,431
All those who,
maybe thanks to an abortion,

999
01:42:41,598 --> 01:42:42,641
have regained a new life,

1000
01:42:42,807 --> 01:42:46,641
maybe saved a child
from starving to death.

1001
01:42:46,807 --> 01:42:51,807
You can't harm them just because
of some principle of openness.

1002
01:42:54,974 --> 01:42:59,724
Luckily, I was able to get the head
of the fetus out on the first try,

1003
01:42:59,891 --> 01:43:01,641
but it rarely goes like that.

1004
01:43:01,807 --> 01:43:05,307
In the 12th week,
the diameter of the head

1005
01:43:05,474 --> 01:43:08,474
is a little more than
1.2 centimeters.

1006
01:43:08,641 --> 01:43:11,224
Therefore,
a very impressive instrument

1007
01:43:11,391 --> 01:43:13,266
has been developed
by the medical community.

1008
01:43:13,432 --> 01:43:16,141
The nutcracker is an instrument

1009
01:43:16,307 --> 01:43:20,099
that we use to get the fetus
out of the uterus completely.

1010
01:43:20,266 --> 01:43:24,474
We enter it into and through
the dilated cervical channel

1011
01:43:24,641 --> 01:43:27,057
and position it around the head
of the fetus,

1012
01:43:27,224 --> 01:43:30,307
and you crack it like a nut,

1013
01:43:30,474 --> 01:43:33,182
and then you pull out the fetus,
and there you have it.

1014
01:43:33,349 --> 01:43:35,932
That is the so-called nutcracker.

1015
01:43:36,099 --> 01:43:38,516
This is not something I need to know.

1016
01:43:39,849 --> 01:43:41,974
Oh, I hope you're not going

1017
01:43:42,141 --> 01:43:46,016
to be an opponent of abortion
based on that.

1018
01:43:46,182 --> 01:43:49,641
No, but you have to think
of the outrage

1019
01:43:49,807 --> 01:43:52,724
this knowledge would create
in society.

1020
01:43:52,891 --> 01:43:56,641
So, you're saying that people
in general are too stupid

1021
01:43:56,807 --> 01:44:00,974
to make decisions
on an informed basis.

1022
01:44:01,141 --> 01:44:05,349
And that coming from a man
who only an hour ago sermonized

1023
01:44:05,516 --> 01:44:07,891
about his belief
in human qualities.

1024
01:44:08,057 --> 01:44:10,932
No, you... you're simplifying things.

1025
01:44:11,099 --> 01:44:14,057
You can't look at it like that.

1026
01:44:14,224 --> 01:44:16,641
It's funny to see you
so emotional suddenly.

1027
01:44:21,557 --> 01:44:24,057
Looking back,
it rankles me a bit

1028
01:44:24,224 --> 01:44:28,391
that I didn't just
show up all calm and collected

1029
01:44:28,557 --> 01:44:31,932
at the appointment
with the psychologist

1030
01:44:32,099 --> 01:44:34,682
and have my abortion
under full anesthesia.

1031
01:44:34,849 --> 01:44:38,307
The fact is that when
you're completely under,

1032
01:44:38,474 --> 01:44:41,141
the fetus doesn't feel
anything either,

1033
01:44:41,307 --> 01:44:45,349
whereas my action, of course,
caused pain,

1034
01:44:45,516 --> 01:44:47,391
depending on how much consciousness

1035
01:44:47,557 --> 01:44:52,307
you want to ascribe
to a fetus about 12 weeks old.

1036
01:44:52,474 --> 01:44:55,016
I'm a bit nervous
about bringing that subject up,

1037
01:44:55,182 --> 01:44:57,474
as most of the abortions
in the world,

1038
01:44:57,641 --> 01:44:59,599
due to lack of resources,

1039
01:44:59,766 --> 01:45:03,891
occur just under
local anesthesia or none.

1040
01:45:05,932 --> 01:45:08,724
Well, you're a careful man.

1041
01:45:09,724 --> 01:45:13,891
Whether we talk about abortion
or not, you can't escape death,

1042
01:45:14,057 --> 01:45:17,974
and my fetus could have turned
out to be a fine human being,

1043
01:45:18,141 --> 01:45:21,766
but one that would
also eventually die.

1044
01:45:25,391 --> 01:45:27,807
What haunts me
is the ironic detail

1045
01:45:27,974 --> 01:45:30,766
that my father and I
were snail-gatherers.

1046
01:45:34,016 --> 01:45:38,182
We had the deepest compassion,
not to say sentimentality,

1047
01:45:38,349 --> 01:45:41,432
about the smallest living things
on the planet

1048
01:45:41,599 --> 01:45:43,891
which we demonstrated
by saving snails,

1049
01:45:44,057 --> 01:45:47,557
often, by the way,
the same size as my fetus,

1050
01:45:47,682 --> 01:45:50,432
from certain death on the path.

1051
01:45:50,599 --> 01:45:54,057
We did that only
when the other one wasn't watching,

1052
01:45:54,224 --> 01:45:56,391
as it was a bit embarrassing.

1053
01:45:57,766 --> 01:46:00,224
Are you picking up snails?

1054
01:46:01,516 --> 01:46:03,182
No.

1055
01:46:05,057 --> 01:46:06,557
Are you sure you weren't
picking up snails?

1056
01:46:06,724 --> 01:46:08,349
Yeah.
- You're sure?

1057
01:46:08,516 --> 01:46:10,599
Yeah.

1058
01:46:12,974 --> 01:46:16,849
Shall we drop the subject?
- Yes, please.

1059
01:46:17,016 --> 01:46:19,099
Are you sure
you don't want a little tour

1060
01:46:19,266 --> 01:46:21,141
of the technical details

1061
01:46:21,307 --> 01:46:23,974
of removal of organs
for organ donations?

1062
01:46:24,141 --> 01:46:26,557
No, thank you. I'm fine.

1063
01:46:29,224 --> 01:46:30,182
Where were we?

1064
01:46:31,141 --> 01:46:35,224
I think something about your boss
sending you to see a psychologist.

1065
01:46:35,391 --> 01:46:37,224
Yes, that's right.

1066
01:46:42,641 --> 01:46:45,182
My name is Joe.
- Hi, Joe.

1067
01:46:45,349 --> 01:46:49,349
And I'm a nymphomaniac.
- Sex addict.

1068
01:46:49,516 --> 01:46:52,099
My name is Joe,
and I'm a nymphomaniac.

1069
01:46:52,266 --> 01:46:55,641
We say sex addict.
Here, everyone's the same.

1070
01:47:00,391 --> 01:47:04,682
Renée, last time you
told us you had a plan.

1071
01:47:04,849 --> 01:47:06,724
How did it go?

1072
01:47:06,891 --> 01:47:10,974
I thought of trying something new,
as nothing had helped.

1073
01:47:12,516 --> 01:47:16,100
I thought if I overdosed...

1074
01:47:16,267 --> 01:47:18,475
in other words,
if I did the exact opposite

1075
01:47:18,642 --> 01:47:20,975
of what we are trying
to do here,

1076
01:47:21,142 --> 01:47:22,558
then I could get well.

1077
01:47:22,725 --> 01:47:25,183
You mean function normally.

1078
01:47:25,350 --> 01:47:28,600
I had prepared
the whole thing very carefully.

1079
01:47:28,767 --> 01:47:31,808
Sent my husband away
for the weekend

1080
01:47:31,975 --> 01:47:35,808
and had the children
taken care of.

1081
01:47:35,975 --> 01:47:37,975
It was to happen on the Saturday.

1082
01:47:40,308 --> 01:47:45,392
I had... I had collected
phone numbers for a whole month,

1083
01:47:45,558 --> 01:47:48,558
and then back in the coal.

1084
01:48:27,475 --> 01:48:30,767
They fucked me for three hours.

1085
01:48:31,058 --> 01:48:34,058
And how did
you feel about that?

1086
01:48:34,225 --> 01:48:37,142
Well, I never feel good afterwards.
I feel ashamed.

1087
01:48:38,225 --> 01:48:40,642
But in relation to...
to your addiction,

1088
01:48:40,808 --> 01:48:43,600
do you feel relieved
like you thought you would?

1089
01:48:46,308 --> 01:48:47,475
No.

1090
01:48:48,975 --> 01:48:52,850
What should I do?
I'm ready to do what's necessary.

1091
01:48:53,017 --> 01:48:55,850
Sex addiction
is very different from,

1092
01:48:56,017 --> 01:48:58,642
say, abuse of drugs or alcohol

1093
01:48:58,808 --> 01:49:01,392
because you don't actually need
either of those things.

1094
01:49:01,558 --> 01:49:03,683
These addictions can
be completely removed

1095
01:49:03,850 --> 01:49:08,308
by removing the drug or the alcohol,
not that that's easy.

1096
01:49:08,475 --> 01:49:11,017
But the difference
with sex addiction

1097
01:49:11,183 --> 01:49:14,267
is that everyone has a sexuality

1098
01:49:14,433 --> 01:49:16,975
that's an integral part
of their personality.

1099
01:49:18,892 --> 01:49:24,058
If one could
imagine exterminating sexuality,

1100
01:49:24,225 --> 01:49:26,308
then you'd be left
with a severely reduced person

1101
01:49:26,475 --> 01:49:30,933
because... because sexuality
also includes tenderness,

1102
01:49:31,100 --> 01:49:34,600
contact, solidarity with others,

1103
01:49:34,767 --> 01:49:37,892
which would be hard to imagine
anyone living without on some level.

1104
01:49:39,517 --> 01:49:43,183
What you're saying is that no one
can remove their sexuality,

1105
01:49:43,350 --> 01:49:45,642
even though it's destroying
everything for them.

1106
01:49:45,808 --> 01:49:47,683
I wouldn't say no one,

1107
01:49:47,850 --> 01:49:50,517
but let's say, at most,
one in a million

1108
01:49:50,683 --> 01:49:53,475
manage to live a life
without sexuality.

1109
01:49:53,642 --> 01:49:57,308
But you can't be basing your therapy
on that one in a million.

1110
01:49:57,433 --> 01:50:00,892
No. The first
and most important step

1111
01:50:01,058 --> 01:50:04,808
is to remove incentive
and to reduce exposure.

1112
01:50:06,433 --> 01:50:08,225
You have to ask yourself

1113
01:50:08,392 --> 01:50:11,433
what kind of incentives you have
and then make it difficult

1114
01:50:11,600 --> 01:50:13,350
for yourself to come
into contact with them.

1115
01:50:13,517 --> 01:50:17,392
Basically, anything that
makes you think about sex.

1116
01:52:25,851 --> 01:52:28,018
Stop it.

1117
01:52:32,143 --> 01:52:35,226
Joe has something
she'd like to share.

1118
01:52:36,476 --> 01:52:38,893
My name is Joe.
- Hi, Joe.

1119
01:52:39,059 --> 01:52:40,851
And I'm a sex addict,

1120
01:52:41,018 --> 01:52:45,268
but I haven't had sex
for three weeks and five days.

1121
01:52:48,518 --> 01:52:49,601
Tell us how you did it, Joe.

1122
01:52:49,768 --> 01:52:52,893
You brought notes?
- Yes.

1123
01:52:58,226 --> 01:53:03,268
Dear everyone,
don't think it's been easy,

1124
01:53:03,434 --> 01:53:06,934
but I understand now
that we are all alike.

1125
01:53:21,976 --> 01:53:26,309
Are you okay, Joe?
- Yes, yes.

1126
01:53:30,768 --> 01:53:32,726
Would you like
a glass of water?

1127
01:53:35,434 --> 01:53:37,018
Thank you.

1128
01:53:45,768 --> 01:53:47,893
Would you rather share another time?

1129
01:53:53,684 --> 01:53:56,059
No, I'd like to speak.

1130
01:54:01,101 --> 01:54:06,351
Dear everyone,
don't think it's been easy,

1131
01:54:06,518 --> 01:54:08,726
but I understand now

1132
01:54:08,893 --> 01:54:12,893
that we're not
and never will be alike.

1133
01:54:15,143 --> 01:54:19,851
I'm not like you,
who fucks to be validated

1134
01:54:20,018 --> 01:54:22,559
and might just as well give up
putting cocks inside you.

1135
01:54:22,726 --> 01:54:26,393
You already got your bloody kick
a long time ago

1136
01:54:26,559 --> 01:54:29,143
when it turned out that someone
was even bothered to fuck you.

1137
01:54:29,309 --> 01:54:31,184
And I'm not like you.

1138
01:54:31,351 --> 01:54:33,226
Eat yourself to death
if you want.

1139
01:54:33,393 --> 01:54:35,476
I have no pity for you.

1140
01:54:35,643 --> 01:54:37,351
All you want is to be filled up,

1141
01:54:37,518 --> 01:54:42,518
and whether it's by a man
or by tons of disgusting slop

1142
01:54:42,684 --> 01:54:44,601
makes no difference,

1143
01:54:44,768 --> 01:54:46,976
because it's all just
a pathetic attempt

1144
01:54:47,143 --> 01:54:50,018
at filling out
your own resounding emptiness

1145
01:54:50,226 --> 01:54:55,059
and hiding your ridiculous
egocentric self-loathing.

1146
01:54:55,226 --> 01:54:57,726
And I'm definitely not like you.

1147
01:54:57,893 --> 01:55:02,059
That empathy you claim is a lie

1148
01:55:02,226 --> 01:55:06,268
because all you are
is society's morality police,

1149
01:55:06,434 --> 01:55:11,559
whose duty is to erase my obscenity
from the surface of the Earth,

1150
01:55:11,726 --> 01:55:14,559
so that the bourgeoisie
won't feel sick.

1151
01:55:17,768 --> 01:55:19,434
I'm not like you.

1152
01:55:20,643 --> 01:55:25,393
I am a nymphomaniac,
and I love myself for being one,

1153
01:55:25,559 --> 01:55:29,934
but above all, I love my cunt

1154
01:55:30,101 --> 01:55:33,226
and my filthy, dirty lust.

1155
01:55:56,559 --> 01:55:58,684
What just happened?

1156
01:55:58,851 --> 01:56:02,893
I didn't get that,
with the car that burned.

1157
01:56:03,059 --> 01:56:04,643
No, I'm sorry.

1158
01:56:04,809 --> 01:56:08,434
I was just in too much of
a hurry to get to the last chapter.

1159
01:56:18,477 --> 01:56:20,477
It's dawning.

1160
01:56:20,644 --> 01:56:23,269
How can you tell?

1161
01:56:23,435 --> 01:56:26,185
Oh, it's...
it's just a slight coloring.

1162
01:56:26,352 --> 01:56:29,769
I know because I've stood here
so often at this time.

1163
01:56:31,144 --> 01:56:33,477
You could say
I've developed an ability

1164
01:56:33,644 --> 01:56:37,435
to see dawn before everyone else.

1165
01:56:41,102 --> 01:56:43,935
Then you understand
what I mean when I say

1166
01:56:44,102 --> 01:56:48,352
that twilight suddenly appeared
at this point in my story.

1167
01:56:50,102 --> 01:56:53,727
I understood that society
had no room for me,

1168
01:56:53,894 --> 01:56:58,435
and I had no room for society
and never had.

1169
01:57:00,185 --> 01:57:02,477
It would've been much, much easier

1170
01:57:02,644 --> 01:57:04,894
to have realized that earlier on,

1171
01:57:05,060 --> 01:57:08,227
but suddenly,

1172
01:57:08,394 --> 01:57:11,144
my senses unfolded dramatically.

1173
01:57:12,977 --> 01:57:16,977
To go from the respectable
daylight side of society

1174
01:57:17,144 --> 01:57:19,519
to the shady, nocturnal side

1175
01:57:20,394 --> 01:57:22,602
was like changing sides in a war.

1176
01:57:23,685 --> 01:57:26,144
You put your old army behind you,

1177
01:57:26,310 --> 01:57:29,685
and suddenly, the next second,
you're swallowed by the new one.

1178
01:57:29,852 --> 01:57:32,227
There's no in between.

1179
01:57:46,310 --> 01:57:48,310
I'm sure it was quite natural for you

1180
01:57:48,477 --> 01:57:50,810
to furnish your room
as a monk's cell,

1181
01:57:50,977 --> 01:57:55,477
but as an inspiration
for this story, chapter headings

1182
01:57:55,644 --> 01:57:57,769
hasn't been easy.

1183
01:57:57,935 --> 01:58:01,019
There's simply nothing
left for me to use.

1184
01:58:02,602 --> 01:58:04,602
Well, I'm sorry about that.

1185
01:58:05,935 --> 01:58:08,477
But if I may,
I can give you a tip.

1186
01:58:09,852 --> 01:58:11,727
Yes, please.

1187
01:58:11,894 --> 01:58:14,602
You know, I occupy myself
mostly with texts,

1188
01:58:14,769 --> 01:58:18,102
but sometimes the text can seem so...

1189
01:58:18,269 --> 01:58:22,144
so empty, so unfathomably empty.

1190
01:58:22,310 --> 01:58:26,269
It could be the best text
by the most famous author.

1191
01:58:26,435 --> 01:58:30,060
The solution might be
to change your point of view.

1192
01:58:31,769 --> 01:58:33,727
I don't get that.

1193
01:58:33,894 --> 01:58:39,060
Things hide
when they become familiar.

1194
01:58:39,227 --> 01:58:43,227
But if you look at them
from another angle,

1195
01:58:43,394 --> 01:58:46,185
they might take
on a new meaning.

1196
01:58:57,310 --> 01:58:58,602
You're right.

1197
01:58:59,727 --> 01:59:04,352
Before this was just the stain
from the tea I threw.

1198
01:59:05,810 --> 01:59:08,477
Can you see what it could be?

1199
01:59:09,935 --> 01:59:11,269
A revolver!

1200
01:59:11,435 --> 01:59:14,977
No, a revolver has a drum
that revolves.

1201
01:59:15,144 --> 01:59:17,144
It's a pistol.

1202
01:59:17,310 --> 01:59:20,019
Can you see what kind it could be?

1203
01:59:20,185 --> 01:59:23,310
No, I don't remember anything
like that from my literature.

1204
01:59:23,477 --> 01:59:25,894
Oh, but it's something
I can remember from mine.

1205
01:59:26,060 --> 01:59:30,352
Ian Fleming.
- Not familiar.

1206
01:59:30,519 --> 01:59:33,769
If you haven't read that,
you haven't read anything at all.

1207
01:59:35,144 --> 01:59:38,144
This could be,
with a little imagination,

1208
01:59:38,310 --> 01:59:41,935
a Walther PPK automatic,

1209
01:59:42,102 --> 01:59:44,352
the same gun
that was issued to Bond,

1210
01:59:44,519 --> 01:59:47,935
after his preferred pistol,
the Beretta, had jammed.

1211
01:59:49,727 --> 01:59:51,144
Is that something you can use?

1212
01:59:53,102 --> 01:59:55,019
Oh, yes, it is.

1213
02:00:04,644 --> 02:00:09,144
Whether I left
society or it left me, I cannot say.

1214
02:00:09,310 --> 02:00:12,435
I suppose you could make
an argument for both sides.

1215
02:00:13,894 --> 02:00:15,894
I was on my way
to the shady side

1216
02:00:16,060 --> 02:00:19,435
of the debt collecting business,
which, among other things,

1217
02:00:19,602 --> 02:00:22,727
involves stuff like
burning people's cars.

1218
02:00:24,769 --> 02:00:28,685
I had for a long time
known about this man, L.

1219
02:00:33,977 --> 02:00:36,185
Hi, my name is Joe.

1220
02:00:36,352 --> 02:00:40,269
I know that. Come in.

1221
02:00:44,894 --> 02:00:46,852
I'm looking for a job.

1222
02:00:48,395 --> 02:00:49,811
I've been working in an office,

1223
02:00:49,978 --> 02:00:52,478
and I was never really good at it.

1224
02:00:52,645 --> 02:00:56,270
I can understand that.
I mean, what's the point?

1225
02:00:58,936 --> 02:01:02,728
I've thought of you now and then
and wondered when you'd show up.

1226
02:01:06,395 --> 02:01:10,395
My lifestyle is relatively expensive,

1227
02:01:12,228 --> 02:01:15,686
and I need a fair amount
of free time for a sideline.

1228
02:01:15,853 --> 02:01:17,770
Of course.
I already know that.

1229
02:01:17,936 --> 02:01:20,811
I believe I possess
some qualifications

1230
02:01:20,978 --> 02:01:23,228
and that I'm rather unscrupulous.

1231
02:01:23,395 --> 02:01:26,978
I know all about your qualifications
and they're excellent.

1232
02:01:27,145 --> 02:01:30,770
And you have already proven you
are unscrupulous by coming here.

1233
02:01:33,353 --> 02:01:37,811
I would suggest that you start
your own little business

1234
02:01:37,978 --> 02:01:39,853
with my help.

1235
02:01:40,020 --> 02:01:44,020
I understand you possess
a great deal of insight

1236
02:01:44,186 --> 02:01:47,061
about a rather broad spectrum of men.

1237
02:01:48,395 --> 02:01:52,478
This could be, or should be,
capitalized on.

1238
02:01:52,645 --> 02:01:55,145
What should I do?

1239
02:01:55,311 --> 02:01:58,270
I facilitate certain assignments
for my humble firm

1240
02:01:58,436 --> 02:02:00,520
as part of a debt
collection business.

1241
02:02:00,686 --> 02:02:03,186
In other words,
I need subcontractors

1242
02:02:03,353 --> 02:02:06,061
who can put moderate pressure
on individuals,

1243
02:02:06,228 --> 02:02:10,145
with whom my clients rightly
or wrongly have a bone to pick.

1244
02:02:10,311 --> 02:02:12,770
Understand?
- Extortion.

1245
02:02:12,936 --> 02:02:14,728
No. No, no, no, no.

1246
02:02:14,895 --> 02:02:19,645
I always prefer
the term 'debt collection.'

1247
02:02:21,353 --> 02:02:23,020
Yeah.
- I refrain from judging

1248
02:02:23,186 --> 02:02:27,436
whether my clients' wishes
are legitimate or otherwise,

1249
02:02:27,561 --> 02:02:31,895
a point of view I strongly
recommend you follow.

1250
02:02:33,561 --> 02:02:38,728
I'm still unsure of what it is
I should do.

1251
02:02:38,895 --> 02:02:40,978
Well, you'll need two thugs,

1252
02:02:41,145 --> 02:02:43,686
and I can think of two good ones.

1253
02:02:43,853 --> 02:02:48,395
They both have a lot of experience
and can show you the ropes.

1254
02:02:49,520 --> 02:02:51,395
That's interesting.

1255
02:02:51,561 --> 02:02:54,561
It's not at all interesting.

1256
02:02:54,728 --> 02:02:56,978
Most interesting thing about it was

1257
02:02:57,145 --> 02:03:00,020
how easily I dedicated
myself to crime.

1258
02:03:00,186 --> 02:03:02,395
My main
qualification, of course,

1259
02:03:02,561 --> 02:03:05,645
was my considerable experience
with men and sex.

1260
02:03:05,811 --> 02:03:09,853
But even my more specialized
skills came in handy.

1261
02:03:31,520 --> 02:03:35,395
No, now this is not how it goes.

1262
02:03:35,561 --> 02:03:37,895
You have to wait until you're hit.

1263
02:03:40,603 --> 02:03:44,311
The two helpers that
L had recommended were okay,

1264
02:03:44,478 --> 02:03:47,978
but they were predisposed
to a rather repetitive technique,

1265
02:03:48,145 --> 02:03:51,936
which consisted of creating
as much havoc as possible

1266
02:03:52,103 --> 02:03:53,520
with a pair of iron bars.

1267
02:04:09,186 --> 02:04:13,520
Destroying your things doesn't
seem to have much effect on you.

1268
02:04:13,686 --> 02:04:15,145
The only thing
worth mentioning

1269
02:04:15,311 --> 02:04:17,520
from my first years
as a collector

1270
02:04:17,686 --> 02:04:21,436
was the story of an unusually
sober-minded,

1271
02:04:21,603 --> 02:04:24,395
and for that reason vulnerable, man.

1272
02:04:24,561 --> 02:04:27,436
The dirt I threatened
to go public with

1273
02:04:27,603 --> 02:04:31,103
was normally within
my core competence: sex.

1274
02:04:31,978 --> 02:04:36,603
But for once, here was a man
I was unable to read sexually,

1275
02:04:36,770 --> 02:04:39,395
so I became persistent.

1276
02:04:39,561 --> 02:04:41,395
Tie him to the chair.

1277
02:04:43,061 --> 02:04:44,728
Don't hurt him.

1278
02:04:48,061 --> 02:04:50,311
I can't find a stain on you,

1279
02:04:51,186 --> 02:04:54,145
but my experience tells me
that no man is spotless.

1280
02:04:55,353 --> 02:04:59,353
Luckily, you're equipped with
a very reliable truth detector.

1281
02:05:09,936 --> 02:05:12,811
I'm going to tell you a few stories.

1282
02:05:12,978 --> 02:05:15,353
All you have to do is listen.

1283
02:05:17,395 --> 02:05:20,521
You're in a bar watching a couple...

1284
02:05:20,687 --> 02:05:23,229
I now meticulously
went through the catalogue

1285
02:05:23,396 --> 02:05:26,604
of sexual deviations
in fictional form.

1286
02:05:26,771 --> 02:05:29,687
Stories about sado-masochism,

1287
02:05:29,854 --> 02:05:33,979
fetishism, homosexuality,
you name it.

1288
02:05:34,146 --> 02:05:35,854
But he didn't react.

1289
02:05:36,021 --> 02:05:38,479
And I'd almost given up
when I said...

1290
02:05:38,646 --> 02:05:43,271
On your way home,
you walk through the park.

1291
02:05:48,021 --> 02:05:49,729
And something makes you stop.

1292
02:05:50,854 --> 02:05:52,687
You hear something.

1293
02:06:06,896 --> 02:06:08,604
Yes, that's it.

1294
02:06:08,771 --> 02:06:12,479
You can hear the children
in the playground.

1295
02:06:13,604 --> 02:06:18,062
You sit on a bench nearby
and watch them play.

1296
02:06:18,229 --> 02:06:21,396
There's a little boy in shorts.

1297
02:06:22,771 --> 02:06:24,979
He's playing in the sandpit.

1298
02:06:26,979 --> 02:06:31,854
He looks at you
with his blue eyes.

1299
02:06:33,396 --> 02:06:35,104
He smiles at you.

1300
02:06:35,271 --> 02:06:37,437
I think he comes to you.

1301
02:06:37,646 --> 02:06:42,771
He sits on your lap
and looks up at your face.

1302
02:06:43,437 --> 02:06:47,687
He says he'd like
to come home with you.

1303
02:06:51,854 --> 02:06:53,104
At home,

1304
02:06:53,271 --> 02:06:56,562
you can't fight the idea
of being naked together.

1305
02:06:57,562 --> 02:07:00,021
He crawls all over you.

1306
02:07:00,187 --> 02:07:01,812
You get an erection.

1307
02:07:01,979 --> 02:07:04,062
Won't you please stop?

1308
02:07:04,229 --> 02:07:06,979
He lies on his stomach.

1309
02:07:07,771 --> 02:07:10,604
You pull down his pants.

1310
02:07:10,771 --> 02:07:12,396
I'll pay!

1311
02:07:44,771 --> 02:07:47,021
You did what?

1312
02:07:47,187 --> 02:07:48,937
I gave him a blowjob.

1313
02:07:49,104 --> 02:07:52,771
Why? That pig!
- I took pity on him.

1314
02:07:52,937 --> 02:07:54,271
Pity?

1315
02:07:54,437 --> 02:07:57,937
Yes. I had just destroyed his life.

1316
02:07:58,104 --> 02:08:02,271
Nobody knew his secret,
most probably not even himself.

1317
02:08:03,479 --> 02:08:06,062
He sat there with the shame.

1318
02:08:06,229 --> 02:08:09,479
I suppose I sucked him off
as a kind of apology.

1319
02:08:09,646 --> 02:08:10,687
That's unbelievable.

1320
02:08:11,979 --> 02:08:14,854
No, listen to me.
This is a man who'd succeeded

1321
02:08:15,021 --> 02:08:16,979
in repressing his own desire,

1322
02:08:17,146 --> 02:08:22,271
who had never before given into it,
right up until I forced it out.

1323
02:08:22,437 --> 02:08:24,937
He had lived a life full of denial

1324
02:08:25,104 --> 02:08:27,521
and had never hurt a soul.

1325
02:08:27,687 --> 02:08:30,521
I think that's laudable.

1326
02:08:30,687 --> 02:08:31,729
No matter how much I try,

1327
02:08:31,896 --> 02:08:34,479
I can't find anything laudable
in pedophilia.

1328
02:08:34,646 --> 02:08:37,521
That's because you think
about the perhaps five percent

1329
02:08:37,687 --> 02:08:40,104
who actually hurt children.

1330
02:08:40,271 --> 02:08:45,021
The remaining 95 percent
never live out their fantasies.

1331
02:08:45,187 --> 02:08:47,604
Think about their suffering.

1332
02:08:47,771 --> 02:08:52,687
Sexuality is the strongest force
in human beings.

1333
02:08:52,854 --> 02:08:57,687
To be born with a forbidden
sexuality must be agonizing.

1334
02:08:57,854 --> 02:09:01,271
The pedophile
who manages to get through life

1335
02:09:01,437 --> 02:09:03,521
with the shame of his desire

1336
02:09:03,687 --> 02:09:07,479
while never acting on it,
deserves a bloody medal.

1337
02:09:14,562 --> 02:09:18,187
The writer Thomas Mann
said somewhere

1338
02:09:18,354 --> 02:09:20,437
that a temptation resisted

1339
02:09:20,604 --> 02:09:24,896
is not a sin
but a test of virtue.

1340
02:09:28,646 --> 02:09:32,271
Wasn't there something
about that writer and boys?

1341
02:09:32,437 --> 02:09:35,021
Yeah, so they say.

1342
02:09:35,187 --> 02:09:38,354
I suppose he dealt with it
by writing them out.

1343
02:09:38,521 --> 02:09:41,271
And he got a medal, a Nobel Prize.

1344
02:09:45,771 --> 02:09:48,896
But there was
another reason for my sympathy,

1345
02:09:49,062 --> 02:09:51,397
which you find so mysterious.

1346
02:09:53,272 --> 02:09:57,272
I saw a man who was carrying
the same cross as myself.

1347
02:09:59,897 --> 02:10:01,980
Loneliness.

1348
02:10:05,188 --> 02:10:07,980
We were both sexual outcasts.

1349
02:10:16,480 --> 02:10:18,480
In any case,
some years passed,

1350
02:10:18,647 --> 02:10:21,605
during which my business grew,

1351
02:10:21,772 --> 02:10:26,355
enabling me to step up my
anonymous deposits to Marcel.

1352
02:10:27,272 --> 02:10:30,813
Your business is doing great.

1353
02:10:30,980 --> 02:10:34,772
You complete all the jobs
I give you to perfection.

1354
02:10:34,938 --> 02:10:39,605
And I hear only words of praise
from your other clients, but...

1355
02:10:39,772 --> 02:10:42,688
But what?
- We aren't getting any younger.

1356
02:10:42,855 --> 02:10:46,855
No, that's for sure.

1357
02:10:47,022 --> 02:10:48,480
I think you're getting to that age

1358
02:10:48,647 --> 02:10:50,647
where you have to start thinking
about a successor.

1359
02:10:50,813 --> 02:10:54,522
Oh, I don't need a fucking successor.

1360
02:10:54,688 --> 02:10:56,355
Listen.

1361
02:10:56,522 --> 02:10:59,897
A person should take
their crime seriously.

1362
02:11:00,063 --> 02:11:03,188
You need someone
to be your right hand,

1363
02:11:03,355 --> 02:11:07,188
someone to help you.
A crown princess.

1364
02:11:09,480 --> 02:11:12,730
The normal process is to find out

1365
02:11:12,897 --> 02:11:16,355
what colleagues are in prison,
or are drug addicts,

1366
02:11:16,522 --> 02:11:21,188
and thereby unable to fulfill
their roles as parents.

1367
02:11:21,355 --> 02:11:25,688
Then, you find out
where their kids play football,

1368
02:11:25,855 --> 02:11:28,147
and you get involved.

1369
02:11:28,313 --> 02:11:30,063
You cheer them on
for a couple of years,

1370
02:11:30,230 --> 02:11:33,688
no matter how bad they are.
Actually, the worse, the better.

1371
02:11:33,855 --> 02:11:37,813
That way, gradually, you take on
the role of the parent

1372
02:11:37,980 --> 02:11:41,730
until, in the end,
you have a loyal helper

1373
02:11:41,897 --> 02:11:45,188
that will walk through fire for you.

1374
02:11:45,355 --> 02:11:47,397
Even do time for you.

1375
02:11:51,147 --> 02:11:55,272
It sounds like a kind of
an entrapment you're suggesting.

1376
02:11:55,438 --> 02:11:58,897
An unsavory entrapment.
- Call it what you want,

1377
02:11:59,063 --> 02:12:03,022
but if you believe at all in
the effects of good parenting,

1378
02:12:03,188 --> 02:12:06,105
that kid will have much greater
opportunities with you

1379
02:12:06,272 --> 02:12:08,688
as a mentor than without.

1380
02:12:08,855 --> 02:12:11,230
And since I like you,

1381
02:12:11,397 --> 02:12:15,230
I've been looking around
for a suitable subject.

1382
02:12:15,397 --> 02:12:20,688
She's 15 years old from
a family of hardened criminals,

1383
02:12:20,855 --> 02:12:23,188
and she's been through a lot.

1384
02:12:23,355 --> 02:12:26,438
Last couple of years
she's been institutionalized.

1385
02:12:26,605 --> 02:12:29,147
Her father's in prison
and her mother died of an overdose.

1386
02:12:29,313 --> 02:12:31,022
She's a smart girl.

1387
02:12:31,188 --> 02:12:33,105
And although
she doesn't play football,

1388
02:12:33,272 --> 02:12:36,063
she does play basketball very badly.

1389
02:12:37,313 --> 02:12:42,688
She's chosen a team sport
because she's lonely.

1390
02:12:42,855 --> 02:12:45,855
I saved the best part for last.

1391
02:12:46,022 --> 02:12:48,980
Her right ear is slightly deformed,

1392
02:12:49,147 --> 02:12:52,855
which she is very ashamed of,

1393
02:12:53,022 --> 02:12:56,022
and of course, this serves
to isolate her even more.

1394
02:12:56,188 --> 02:13:00,522
It makes her an easy target
for even the slightest bit

1395
02:13:00,688 --> 02:13:05,438
of attention
or sign of empathy from you.

1396
02:13:09,397 --> 02:13:12,980
Despite my protests,
the clever L somehow talked me

1397
02:13:13,147 --> 02:13:14,772
into actually having a look at P.

1398
02:13:17,563 --> 02:13:20,938
The longer I watched the poor girl
with the deformed ear,

1399
02:13:21,105 --> 02:13:24,313
the more repulsive
I found the whole plan.

1400
02:13:51,230 --> 02:13:53,230
But as if L had foreseen this,

1401
02:13:53,397 --> 02:13:59,063
the meeting with P filled me
with pity and emotion.

1402
02:13:59,230 --> 02:14:00,938
And without wanting to,

1403
02:14:01,105 --> 02:14:04,355
I found myself,
weekend after weekend,

1404
02:14:04,522 --> 02:14:08,230
at her games
supporting the poor player.

1405
02:14:23,273 --> 02:14:26,814
Thanks for cheering me on.
- You're welcome.

1406
02:14:26,981 --> 02:14:29,231
You played really well today.

1407
02:14:31,648 --> 02:14:34,314
No, I didn't.
- You did.

1408
02:14:34,481 --> 02:14:37,523
You really improved yourself lately.

1409
02:14:49,023 --> 02:14:52,773
Sixteen years. Congratulations.

1410
02:14:52,939 --> 02:14:55,731
Thank you.
- You're welcome.

1411
02:15:18,481 --> 02:15:20,023
I was proud to introduce P

1412
02:15:20,189 --> 02:15:22,856
to my father's passion
and his world.

1413
02:15:25,939 --> 02:15:27,731
It's actually...

1414
02:15:29,189 --> 02:15:33,148
the souls of the trees
that we see in the winter.

1415
02:15:39,564 --> 02:15:42,189
I think they look like human souls.

1416
02:15:46,273 --> 02:15:48,148
Yeah, you're right.

1417
02:15:49,023 --> 02:15:51,773
They do look like human souls.

1418
02:15:51,981 --> 02:15:55,189
Twisted souls, regular souls,

1419
02:15:55,356 --> 02:15:57,439
crazy souls,

1420
02:15:57,606 --> 02:16:01,273
all depending on the kind
of lives human beings lead.

1421
02:16:04,148 --> 02:16:08,564
Then that must be
Miss Williamson from number 21.

1422
02:16:08,731 --> 02:16:11,231
That's not a very nice thing
to say about Miss Williamson.

1423
02:16:11,398 --> 02:16:14,939
But she's always angry.
She has a monster in her belly.

1424
02:16:15,106 --> 02:16:17,648
Well, she does have
an ulcer in her belly

1425
02:16:17,814 --> 02:16:19,481
that I've been treating
for the last 15 years.

1426
02:16:22,064 --> 02:16:24,481
And sure enough,
one of the following days

1427
02:16:24,648 --> 02:16:26,898
my dad dragged me
into the woods again.

1428
02:16:27,064 --> 02:16:30,856
I found my tree.
My soul tree.

1429
02:16:33,189 --> 02:16:38,939
And no, it's not that one, okay,
'cause then I would be dead.

1430
02:16:40,856 --> 02:16:43,064
This is my tree.

1431
02:16:46,439 --> 02:16:50,564
It's not an ash tree.
- No, it's an oak tree.

1432
02:16:53,773 --> 02:16:55,648
It has two trunks.

1433
02:16:55,814 --> 02:16:59,023
Yeah, isn't it great?

1434
02:16:59,189 --> 02:17:04,398
It shows itself to both sides,
the lake and the forest.

1435
02:17:14,398 --> 02:17:18,689
But, Dad, how does
a tree get two trunks?

1436
02:17:20,314 --> 02:17:24,273
The most common reason
is that the top broke

1437
02:17:24,439 --> 02:17:26,314
when it was very young.

1438
02:17:26,481 --> 02:17:30,314
That means
that you've been broken once.

1439
02:17:30,481 --> 02:17:32,523
Have you, Dad?

1440
02:17:38,731 --> 02:17:41,939
It seems that it can be
rather revealing...

1441
02:17:43,398 --> 02:17:45,689
to find your soul tree.

1442
02:17:49,689 --> 02:17:55,314
My father found his soul tree,
but I've never found mine.

1443
02:17:55,856 --> 02:18:01,023
'You will know it when you see it,'
is what he said.

1444
02:18:07,606 --> 02:18:13,439
Kitchen and dining room.
And in here...

1445
02:18:15,273 --> 02:18:17,606
When P reached the age of maturity

1446
02:18:17,773 --> 02:18:20,064
and I became her personal adviser,

1447
02:18:20,231 --> 02:18:22,731
I asked her to move in with me.

1448
02:18:31,148 --> 02:18:33,898
Let me see you with your hair up.

1449
02:18:34,064 --> 02:18:36,564
You're so pretty.

1450
02:18:48,606 --> 02:18:52,314
All this time
all my sexual activity had stopped.

1451
02:18:52,481 --> 02:18:57,024
My groin was one big sore
from my abuse that wouldn't heal,

1452
02:18:57,190 --> 02:19:00,024
and made even
masturbation impossible.

1453
02:19:04,274 --> 02:19:07,565
I experienced definite
abstinence symptoms...

1454
02:19:07,732 --> 02:19:09,690
fever and cramps.

1455
02:19:34,649 --> 02:19:36,399
Joe, what's going on?

1456
02:19:38,607 --> 02:19:41,399
Careful.
- We need to clear this up.

1457
02:19:50,274 --> 02:19:53,232
I just get this sometimes.

1458
02:19:56,565 --> 02:19:59,065
It's okay. It's okay.

1459
02:20:03,149 --> 02:20:05,649
Do you want to go back to bed?

1460
02:20:07,649 --> 02:20:09,857
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

1461
02:20:25,982 --> 02:20:27,857
I love you, Joe.

1462
02:20:28,024 --> 02:20:29,774
I love you, too.

1463
02:20:31,190 --> 02:20:33,524
I don't mean it in that way.

1464
02:20:36,565 --> 02:20:39,982
Come on, it's late.
You should go back to bed.

1465
02:20:41,524 --> 02:20:42,565
Good night.

1466
02:20:45,440 --> 02:20:47,857
Perhaps she really loved you.

1467
02:20:51,940 --> 02:20:55,315
She was so very young.

1468
02:20:55,482 --> 02:20:59,774
Maybe she, too, discovered
her cunt at the age of two.

1469
02:20:59,940 --> 02:21:02,065
Maybe earlier.

1470
02:21:02,232 --> 02:21:03,774
I couldn't accept it.

1471
02:21:03,940 --> 02:21:07,732
Perhaps because you
really wanted it to be true.

1472
02:21:09,815 --> 02:21:11,482
Perhaps I hoped it.

1473
02:21:11,649 --> 02:21:14,982
It's very touching,
all this about P.

1474
02:21:17,190 --> 02:21:20,774
Then you've probably
misunderstood the whole thing.

1475
02:21:20,940 --> 02:21:24,440
Shall we get the story over
and done with?

1476
02:21:52,565 --> 02:21:54,607
Don't.

1477
02:21:55,815 --> 02:21:57,899
I wanna see you.

1478
02:21:58,065 --> 02:21:59,065
Don't.
- Why?

1479
02:21:59,232 --> 02:22:00,690
Please, don't.
- Why not?

1480
02:22:00,857 --> 02:22:04,399
No. No, I have a wound.

1481
02:22:04,565 --> 02:22:06,565
I have a wound.
- It doesn't matter.

1482
02:22:06,732 --> 02:22:10,607
No, you don't understand.
- I have that thing with my ear.

1483
02:22:10,774 --> 02:22:13,440
I'm so ashamed.

1484
02:22:49,774 --> 02:22:51,857
Do you like me?

1485
02:22:55,440 --> 02:22:57,440
You're so beautiful.

1486
02:24:35,025 --> 02:24:37,775
There's one thing
I don't understand.

1487
02:24:38,608 --> 02:24:41,316
Did she know what you did
for a living?

1488
02:24:41,483 --> 02:24:46,650
P was very discreet
and a girl of few words.

1489
02:24:48,150 --> 02:24:50,441
Oddly, although I worked
strange hours,

1490
02:24:50,608 --> 02:24:52,483
she never asked about my work.

1491
02:24:54,233 --> 02:24:57,066
But one day she had a question.

1492
02:24:58,691 --> 02:25:00,316
Joe.

1493
02:25:05,358 --> 02:25:09,191
Why did you start
coming to my basketball matches?

1494
02:25:11,275 --> 02:25:13,941
It wasn't a coincidence, was it?

1495
02:25:19,525 --> 02:25:22,483
No, it wasn't a coincidence.

1496
02:25:26,275 --> 02:25:28,941
I didn't tell you because I...

1497
02:25:29,108 --> 02:25:32,108
I thought you'd be upset...

1498
02:25:33,483 --> 02:25:36,358
and that you'd get angry at me.

1499
02:25:36,525 --> 02:25:39,025
I won't get angry-

1500
02:25:43,566 --> 02:25:45,691
What I do...

1501
02:25:47,233 --> 02:25:49,900
My job isn't a normal job.

1502
02:25:50,066 --> 02:25:52,191
It's not legal.

1503
02:25:52,358 --> 02:25:55,233
No one in my family
does anything legal.

1504
02:26:00,900 --> 02:26:05,316
A man that's helped me in my business
suggested that I watched you.

1505
02:26:08,233 --> 02:26:12,525
The plan was that I...
I should look at you

1506
02:26:12,691 --> 02:26:16,983
to see whether one day I could
use you in my work.

1507
02:26:17,150 --> 02:26:20,108
I should make friends with you

1508
02:26:20,275 --> 02:26:23,483
because I knew you didn't
have a mother or a father.

1509
02:26:23,650 --> 02:26:25,483
What's wrong with that?

1510
02:26:25,650 --> 02:26:29,233
Don't you see
how evil that plan was?

1511
02:26:29,400 --> 02:26:33,108
I felt terrible.
- You shouldn't have.

1512
02:26:33,275 --> 02:26:35,233
Why not?

1513
02:26:38,025 --> 02:26:40,441
Because if you hadn't...

1514
02:26:42,400 --> 02:26:44,650
we'd never have met.

1515
02:26:49,441 --> 02:26:53,650
I'd like to go with you
to work next time.

1516
02:26:53,816 --> 02:26:55,233
No.

1517
02:27:04,275 --> 02:27:05,816
Will you think about it?

1518
02:27:05,983 --> 02:27:07,358
No.
- Yes.

1519
02:27:07,525 --> 02:27:08,566
No.
- Yes.

1520
02:27:08,983 --> 02:27:11,900
She didn't take no
for an answer.

1521
02:27:12,066 --> 02:27:14,316
No, of course not.

1522
02:27:14,483 --> 02:27:17,900
How do you keep a wave
upon the sand?

1523
02:27:20,191 --> 02:27:25,691
And in the throes of love,
I was weak and no match for her.

1524
02:27:28,775 --> 02:27:32,400
With the risk
of being too clever for myself,

1525
02:27:32,566 --> 02:27:37,025
social inheritance
is an irrefutable fact.

1526
02:27:38,400 --> 02:27:42,650
If anyone knew about the laws
of the street, it must've been P.

1527
02:27:43,858 --> 02:27:47,566
You're more right than you know.

1528
02:28:07,609 --> 02:28:10,026
Let's shoot the fucker.
- No, no!

1529
02:28:10,192 --> 02:28:13,317
Stop! Stop!

1530
02:28:16,692 --> 02:28:19,067
We don't use firearms.

1531
02:28:20,234 --> 02:28:24,026
I'd like to have the gun.
- The others have weapons, too.

1532
02:28:25,484 --> 02:28:27,026
Well, I didn't know that,

1533
02:28:27,192 --> 02:28:29,109
but in any case,
you're not to have one.

1534
02:28:30,234 --> 02:28:31,901
But guns aren't dangerous.

1535
02:28:32,067 --> 02:28:34,484
It depends on how you use them.

1536
02:28:34,651 --> 02:28:36,109
Yes, exactly.

1537
02:28:36,276 --> 02:28:37,776
I wasn't going to shoot him.

1538
02:28:38,817 --> 02:28:40,984
We wouldn't have gotten
any money out of him that way.

1539
02:28:41,151 --> 02:28:43,026
Can I have the gun?

1540
02:28:47,651 --> 02:28:49,359
Thank you.

1541
02:29:08,901 --> 02:29:10,942
You're evil.

1542
02:29:14,942 --> 02:29:19,026
And now I'm afraid
one of those coincidences

1543
02:29:19,192 --> 02:29:24,359
you have such a hard time with
occurred with a very special person.

1544
02:29:25,609 --> 02:29:28,276
It was P's job to take us
to the debtors,

1545
02:29:28,442 --> 02:29:30,567
so until I saw the name
on the door,

1546
02:29:30,692 --> 02:29:33,067
I had no idea
whose house we were at.

1547
02:29:35,442 --> 02:29:39,901
This is Acer siccharium.

1548
02:29:40,067 --> 02:29:42,484
Saccharinum.
- Saccharinum, yeah, that.

1549
02:29:42,651 --> 02:29:43,817
I said that.

1550
02:29:52,942 --> 02:29:54,776
Are you sure
this is the right place?

1551
02:29:54,942 --> 02:29:55,692
Yeah.

1552
02:30:02,776 --> 02:30:08,442
I was thinking maybe it's time for
you to do this one on your own.

1553
02:30:09,359 --> 02:30:10,651
Yeah?

1554
02:30:12,567 --> 02:30:15,567
Thank you, Joe.
- I don't want anything destroyed,

1555
02:30:16,526 --> 02:30:18,817
and I don't want anybody hurt.

1556
02:30:18,984 --> 02:30:24,234
Okay? You just show yourself and
offer him a reasonable payment plan.

1557
02:30:24,401 --> 02:30:29,026
If you say so, of course
that's how I'll do it.

1558
02:30:44,276 --> 02:30:46,859
Whether the feeling
when I saw Jerome again was love,

1559
02:30:47,026 --> 02:30:48,651
I couldn't say.

1560
02:30:51,609 --> 02:30:54,192
But it was a feeling...

1561
02:30:54,359 --> 02:30:57,067
and far stronger than I liked.

1562
02:31:08,276 --> 02:31:12,192
I was actually
walking home through the alley here.

1563
02:31:12,359 --> 02:31:14,651
Your two neighborhoods
are totally different,

1564
02:31:14,817 --> 02:31:18,192
but still so close together
that the shortest route

1565
02:31:18,359 --> 02:31:22,359
from Jerome's house towards
the center was through the alley.

1566
02:31:29,317 --> 02:31:31,317
Hello!

1567
02:31:31,484 --> 02:31:35,359
How did it go?
- Brilliant.

1568
02:31:35,567 --> 02:31:38,651
Yeah, really well.

1569
02:31:38,817 --> 02:31:41,401
I made a reasonable payment plan
like you told me to.

1570
02:31:41,567 --> 02:31:46,442
How did he look?
- Scared.

1571
02:31:46,609 --> 02:31:48,984
How old did he look?

1572
02:31:49,151 --> 02:31:52,484
I don't know. Ancient?

1573
02:32:12,317 --> 02:32:16,067
Jerome was to pay
off his debt in six payments.

1574
02:32:16,234 --> 02:32:18,984
Every time P
went to Jerome to collect,

1575
02:32:19,151 --> 02:32:23,901
I'd pace around restlessly
until she was back home again.

1576
02:32:26,192 --> 02:32:29,485
I even had to find my mother's
sad old solitaire cards

1577
02:32:29,652 --> 02:32:32,693
in order to make the hours pass.

1578
02:32:40,110 --> 02:32:41,985
Each night I was less reassured

1579
02:32:42,152 --> 02:32:45,193
by her coming home
than the night before.

1580
02:32:45,360 --> 02:32:48,610
The question of whether jealousy is
the fear of sharing

1581
02:32:48,777 --> 02:32:52,068
or the fear of losing
was of little interest to me.

1582
02:32:52,235 --> 02:32:55,360
But yes, it was a fact
that this unworthy feeling

1583
02:32:55,527 --> 02:33:00,235
I had managed to suppress
for so long was creeping up on me.

1584
02:33:03,068 --> 02:33:05,818
The evening she was
to collect the final payment,

1585
02:33:05,985 --> 02:33:07,818
she didn't kiss me.

1586
02:33:07,985 --> 02:33:10,318
I took it to be forgetfulness,

1587
02:33:10,485 --> 02:33:14,402
but the hours passed,
and she didn't return.

1588
02:33:21,485 --> 02:33:26,693
Every time I saw car lights,
I thought it was P being driven home.

1589
02:34:25,235 --> 02:34:27,318
So the next morning I took a trip

1590
02:34:27,485 --> 02:34:30,652
to the round hills
just outside of town

1591
02:34:30,818 --> 02:34:34,193
that I visited with my school class
when I was 12,

1592
02:34:34,360 --> 02:34:37,818
to say a symbolic goodbye.

1593
02:34:41,443 --> 02:34:44,152
I had decided to flee.

1594
02:34:44,318 --> 02:34:48,818
I couldn't stay in this town
with her and him.

1595
02:34:48,985 --> 02:34:53,277
I had cowardly made a plan
to escape and head south.

1596
02:34:53,443 --> 02:34:54,777
Like from some ice age

1597
02:34:54,943 --> 02:34:58,110
I didn't have the guts
to turn around and face.

1598
02:34:59,277 --> 02:35:03,485
But the goodbye was sad
and strangely unfulfilling.

1599
02:35:03,652 --> 02:35:07,610
And something called me on to
seek further up the mountain.

1600
02:36:31,152 --> 02:36:33,735
I understand dictators
who commit murder.

1601
02:36:36,693 --> 02:36:39,568
What was Hitler,
when it all boils down,

1602
02:36:39,735 --> 02:36:43,735
other than a man to whom society
gave free reins?

1603
02:36:46,277 --> 02:36:49,568
Well, that was
just what we were missing.

1604
02:36:49,735 --> 02:36:53,568
You understand racists,
you have a soft spot for pedophiles,

1605
02:36:53,735 --> 02:36:56,652
and, of course,
now at the finishing line,

1606
02:36:56,818 --> 02:36:58,568
you have to sympathize

1607
02:36:58,735 --> 02:37:01,361
with the greatest mass
murderers of history.

1608
02:37:01,528 --> 02:37:03,778
What I mean is...

1609
02:37:05,444 --> 02:37:07,986
It's said to be difficult
to take someone's life.

1610
02:37:08,194 --> 02:37:12,028
I would've said
that it's more difficult not to

1611
02:37:12,194 --> 02:37:15,986
when, as a dictator or as me,

1612
02:37:16,153 --> 02:37:18,528
you've nothing to lose.

1613
02:37:20,861 --> 02:37:22,111
For a human being,

1614
02:37:22,278 --> 02:37:25,486
killing is the most
natural thing in the world.

1615
02:37:25,653 --> 02:37:27,903
We're created for it.

1616
02:37:30,361 --> 02:37:32,028
Wonderful.

1617
02:38:22,736 --> 02:38:24,278
No, get off!

1618
02:38:34,486 --> 02:38:36,653
Fireman's grip.

1619
02:42:22,654 --> 02:42:27,195
Fill all my holes, please.

1620
02:42:51,862 --> 02:42:54,612
I still don't know
why the gun didn't work.

1621
02:42:54,779 --> 02:42:59,279
I did check to make sure that there
were bullets in the magazine.

1622
02:42:59,445 --> 02:43:02,112
It simply malfunctioned.

1623
02:43:02,279 --> 02:43:04,862
Just like Bond's Beretta.

1624
02:43:05,029 --> 02:43:08,112
I think I know enough to say
that even if you had rounds

1625
02:43:08,279 --> 02:43:10,279
in the magazine
of the Walther PPK,

1626
02:43:10,445 --> 02:43:13,945
if you'd taken off the safety,

1627
02:43:14,112 --> 02:43:16,862
you cannot shoot
until you've racked the gun.

1628
02:43:17,820 --> 02:43:20,195
You pull and release

1629
02:43:20,362 --> 02:43:22,612
the sliding mechanism.

1630
02:43:22,820 --> 02:43:24,820
And P hadn't done it
because as she said,

1631
02:43:24,987 --> 02:43:27,612
she had no intention
of shooting the man.

1632
02:43:29,779 --> 02:43:32,779
I don't know about Bond,
but I assume it has to be apparent

1633
02:43:32,945 --> 02:43:34,445
from his books and his films

1634
02:43:34,612 --> 02:43:38,904
that you have
to rack an automatic pistol.

1635
02:43:40,195 --> 02:43:41,904
Of course, you're right.

1636
02:43:42,904 --> 02:43:46,570
I've seen it in films
a thousand times.

1637
02:43:51,487 --> 02:43:52,654
It's morning.

1638
02:43:55,279 --> 02:43:58,904
The snow is gone.
- So the sun must be up?

1639
02:44:00,112 --> 02:44:02,029
Yes, there is sun.

1640
02:44:03,362 --> 02:44:05,320
How can you see it?

1641
02:44:06,362 --> 02:44:10,945
This alley's located so that you
never get direct sunlight here,

1642
02:44:11,112 --> 02:44:15,612
but I can see a small reflection
on the building on the other side.

1643
02:44:22,362 --> 02:44:26,154
I've never managed to figure
out where it comes from.

1644
02:44:26,945 --> 02:44:31,862
It must be some interplay
between windows and towers

1645
02:44:32,029 --> 02:44:35,154
and high buildings.

1646
02:44:37,779 --> 02:44:42,904
It's not much, but it's the sun
you get here at my place.

1647
02:44:47,029 --> 02:44:48,779
It's beautiful.

1648
02:44:58,945 --> 02:45:00,154
In the beginning,

1649
02:45:00,320 --> 02:45:02,154
you said that your only sin

1650
02:45:02,320 --> 02:45:05,487
was that you asked
more of the sunset.

1651
02:45:07,070 --> 02:45:11,029
Meaning, I suppose, that you wanted
more from life than was good for you.

1652
02:45:13,737 --> 02:45:17,445
You were a human being
demanding your right,

1653
02:45:17,612 --> 02:45:19,154
and more than that,

1654
02:45:19,320 --> 02:45:22,695
you were a woman
demanding her right.

1655
02:45:25,987 --> 02:45:28,695
Does that pardon everything?

1656
02:45:30,070 --> 02:45:34,154
Do you think if two men were to
walk down a train looking for women,

1657
02:45:34,904 --> 02:45:38,070
do you think anybody would have
raised an eyebrow,

1658
02:45:38,279 --> 02:45:41,112
or if a man had led the life you had?

1659
02:45:42,779 --> 02:45:47,362
And the story about Mrs. H.
would've been extremely banal

1660
02:45:47,529 --> 02:45:48,862
if you'd been a man.

1661
02:45:50,070 --> 02:45:52,612
And your conquest
would have been a woman.

1662
02:45:53,612 --> 02:45:58,237
When a man leaves his children
because of desire,

1663
02:45:58,904 --> 02:46:01,695
we accept it with a shrug,
but you as a woman,

1664
02:46:02,154 --> 02:46:04,613
you had to take on a guilt,

1665
02:46:04,946 --> 02:46:07,363
a burden of guilt
that could never be alleviated.

1666
02:46:11,363 --> 02:46:14,821
Your abortion was legal,
but more than anything else,

1667
02:46:14,988 --> 02:46:18,988
it was a punishment
you inflicted upon yourself.

1668
02:46:20,113 --> 02:46:23,363
And all in all,
all the blame and guilt

1669
02:46:23,530 --> 02:46:26,071
that piled up over the years
became too much for you,

1670
02:46:26,238 --> 02:46:28,238
and you reacted aggressively,

1671
02:46:28,405 --> 02:46:31,405
almost like a man, I have to say,
and you fought back.

1672
02:46:32,696 --> 02:46:34,071
You fought back
against the gender

1673
02:46:34,238 --> 02:46:38,363
that had been oppressing
and mutilating and killing you

1674
02:46:38,530 --> 02:46:43,030
and billions of women
in the name of religion or ethics,

1675
02:46:43,196 --> 02:46:46,446
or God knows what.

1676
02:46:49,488 --> 02:46:52,405
But I wanted
to kill a human being.

1677
02:46:55,821 --> 02:46:57,821
But you didn't.

1678
02:46:59,780 --> 02:47:02,196
Because of a chance event.

1679
02:47:02,363 --> 02:47:04,405
You call it a chance event,

1680
02:47:05,905 --> 02:47:08,696
I call it subconscious resistance.

1681
02:47:08,863 --> 02:47:11,113
On the surface you wanted to kill,

1682
02:47:11,946 --> 02:47:14,363
but deep down,
you celebrated human worth

1683
02:47:15,405 --> 02:47:17,113
in a veil of forgetfulness

1684
02:47:17,280 --> 02:47:21,780
draped itself over your
knowledge of how to rack a gun.

1685
02:47:24,155 --> 02:47:26,446
Although all this
sounds frighteningly close

1686
02:47:26,613 --> 02:47:29,571
to the clichés of our times...

1687
02:47:29,738 --> 02:47:34,696
and I'm predisposed to knock
holes in your arguments...

1688
02:47:36,363 --> 02:47:38,530
I'm too tired.

1689
02:47:38,696 --> 02:47:39,988
Well, that's good.

1690
02:47:43,571 --> 02:47:45,613
Why don't you lay down?

1691
02:47:47,905 --> 02:47:49,696
Yes.

1692
02:48:01,030 --> 02:48:03,696
Let me just say that
telling my story

1693
02:48:04,738 --> 02:48:07,738
as you insisted, or permitted,

1694
02:48:09,613 --> 02:48:12,238
has put me at ease.

1695
02:48:13,738 --> 02:48:19,488
At this moment,
my addiction is very clear to me.

1696
02:48:21,863 --> 02:48:23,780
And I've come to a decision.

1697
02:48:26,321 --> 02:48:33,030
Even though only one in a million,
as my dubious therapist said,

1698
02:48:34,280 --> 02:48:38,488
succeed in mentally,

1699
02:48:38,655 --> 02:48:40,863
bodily,

1700
02:48:41,030 --> 02:48:43,238
and in her heart

1701
02:48:43,405 --> 02:48:48,571
ridding herself
of her sexuality...

1702
02:48:48,738 --> 02:48:51,280
this is now my goal.

1703
02:48:52,030 --> 02:48:55,030
But is that a life worth living?

1704
02:48:57,738 --> 02:49:00,738
It's the only way I can live it.

1705
02:49:04,571 --> 02:49:08,363
I will stand up against all odds...

1706
02:49:12,988 --> 02:49:16,405
just like a deformed tree on a hill.

1707
02:49:24,488 --> 02:49:28,988
I will muster
all of my stubbornness...

1708
02:49:32,488 --> 02:49:34,655
my strength...

1709
02:49:36,863 --> 02:49:39,571
my masculine aggression.

1710
02:49:41,863 --> 02:49:45,446
But most of all I want
to say thanks

1711
02:49:45,613 --> 02:49:50,238
to my new and maybe first friend.

1712
02:49:50,405 --> 02:49:53,280
Thank you, Seligman...

1713
02:49:54,946 --> 02:49:58,321
who perhaps is happy
when all is said and done.

1714
02:50:05,405 --> 02:50:07,988
I'm happy at any rate

1715
02:50:08,155 --> 02:50:10,238
that the shot didn't go off

1716
02:50:10,405 --> 02:50:13,155
and made me a murderer.

1717
02:50:18,821 --> 02:50:21,613
If I may, I'd like to sleep now.

1718
02:50:25,655 --> 02:50:28,280
I'll make sure
you won't be disturbed.

1719
02:50:31,280 --> 02:50:34,488
And when you wake up,
maybe we could

1720
02:50:34,655 --> 02:50:37,739
discuss your future if you'd like.

1721
02:50:46,572 --> 02:50:49,989
In your new life,

1722
02:50:50,156 --> 02:50:52,864
would you consider
seeking out your son?

1723
02:50:55,697 --> 02:50:57,697
It's possible.

1724
02:51:02,031 --> 02:51:04,114
Good night, Joe.

1725
02:51:05,489 --> 02:51:07,364
Good night, Seligman.

1726
02:52:47,489 --> 02:52:49,197
No!

1727
02:52:51,531 --> 02:52:54,281
But you,
you fucked thousands of men.