Healing Kisses (ch8)

FOR ALL MY PATRONS!

Jumping back to post here for a moment! This is another prompt for nadie, who wanted to see some relationship troubles (and even more misunderstandings!) between Mayakuro. Not really relating to the flow of the chapters in particular, but the events of this one would probably occur shortly after Mayakuro officially started dating.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

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						Chapter 38. Lover's Quarrel


From the moment she'd laid eyes upon Claudine as a child actress at least ten years earlier, Maya had been completely smitten. The charming, charismatic young girl could captivate any audience with a single smile or expertly-delivered line, and this has held true even more strongly over the years as she'd grown.

Maya had found out firsthand just how enticing Claudine could be the moment she had properly met her at Seishou's entrance exams.

But as she had become classmates and rivals with her, Maya had learned something else very important. That the well-behaved, proper prodigal girl actually had quite the temper at times. Rather, she was passionate, and often expressed her emotions without filters for her words.

Unlike most people, who tended to beat around the bush and passively avoid confrontation or accept whatever unfair result was given to them, Saijou Claudine was not often silent in the face of adversity and hardship. She would call out injustices outright regardless of personal consequence, which was just one of the many things about her that Maya had come to love and admire.

She'd just never thought that, even after she and Claudine had officially established their relationship and started dating, that Claudine's fiery personality would continue to flash out at her more than anyone else.

Maya could understand it initially; before they'd been romantic, their rivalry had been rife with teasing, mainly on Maya's part with Claudine being the victim. But once they had confessed their feelings, Maya had softened accordingly, only teasing Claudine when necessary or when it was absolutely impossible not to. She had thought that, conversely, Claudine would open up to her a bit more.

And she had, no doubt about that. But she also continued to yell and snap at Maya for just about every little thing. She always seemed to be irritated, and sometimes it was for no reason at all, in Maya's interpretation.

It used to amuse her, because she'd more or less expect such reactions from her, on account of Maya's relentless teasings. But now that she's withdrawn a bit from such antics, she'd expected Claudine to relax a bit more as well.

That just simply hadn't been the case.

Even at the times when Maya honestly and openly expresses herself, Claudine is still often hot-and-cold with her; sometimes reciprocating and sometimes lashing out with complaints. Maya doesn't know which reaction she'll get, and sometimes she truly worries that she's made her girlfriend angry without fully knowing how or why.

She loves her dearly, that much hasn't changed. But she has found it a bit emotionally challenging to handle and react to Claudine whenever she starts snapping comments or huffing in irritation. It happens when Maya isn't even meaning to get a reaction from her, which then causes her to become worried at the prospect of having upset her.

For fear of losing their intimacy, Maya withdraws a bit, walking on eggshells and being cautious and mindful of everything she says and does around Claudine, and even then she gets snapped at.

"Tendo Maya! What on earth are you doing spacing out over there?"

"Ah, my apologies-"

"Save it! We've got work to do!"

Maya limps over to join her, but her mind has been so occupied and fretful lately that she can't concentrate very well. She's clearly distracted during their dance lessons, which only irks Claudine further. As they go about their routine, Claudine sends Maya a stern glare, keeping her voice low so as not to interrupt the rest of the class.

"What's gotten into you lately? You're acting strange."

Maya can't explain things to her now, and she's even a bit reserved to address them with her when they're in private. So she just gives a smile.

"I am perfectly fine, Saijou-san."

"Liar. You should tell me if something's going on."

Even a comment like that. Maya knows she means it out of concern, but was she also upset with Maya for keeping quiet? Was Claudine truly angry with her because of this?

Being uncertain only causes Maya to fret more, and she only makes it through the rest of the lesson thanks to Claudine taking control.

By the time class has ended and everyone has gone to the changing rooms, Claudine approaches her with narrowed eyes.

"So? Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong."

"Don't give me that!"

Again, Maya recoils. In the past, she would think Claudine's outbursts were cute and then proceed to play with her. But now that they're dating she doesn't like the idea of making her yell. Maya can only assume she'd done something wrong.

"I apologize," she says, quickly finishing up changing back into her uniform. "I just remembered I made arrangements this evening. Please don't wait for me."

"Eh? What's that supposed to mean?"

But Maya doesn't provide any further explanation. She simply dips her head and hurries off.

It's very troubling for her. She can't help but assume it's her own fault for always having teased and egged Claudine on, but now that their relationship has changed she's nervous to behave as she used to. And naturally, since they are now romantic, she doesn't want to risk genuinely angering Claudine, so even the less serious outbursts from her still make Maya worry.

She had never been one to seek much advice from anyone. As a child, Maya couldn't exactly go to her parents for comfort or to vent her feelings. But now that she had so many close friends here at Seishou, perhaps she could seek solace in one of them.

In retrospect, going to Nana or Junna or Mahiru likely would have been wise. But with Maya's head being as stuffy as it is now, she habitually heads toward the room of the person whom she herself had once consoled in times of hardship, hoping the assistance can go both ways.

"Hanayagi-san…"

"Tendo-han?" Kaoruko's bewildered face blinks back at her from the other side of the door. Maya had wandered for a while after dance class, lost in her thoughts, so Kaoruko and the others had returned to their dorms by now. Clearly, she hadn't been expecting a visitor, and surely not Maya of all people.

"What's with the long face?" Kaoruko asks. "Are you practicing the role of Red Hare?"

"Eh? But that play is long over-"

"Ugh, forget it! What I mean is you look like you've got something terribly troublesome on your mind. Isn't that right?"

"Perhaps…"

Kaoruko smirks.

"Well then let's hear it. Come in. Futaba-han is out at the moment doing laundry."

So Maya dips her head as she enters, taking a seat on Futaba's bed as Kaoruko sits on hers to listen.

Maya voices her concerns about Claudine, and all the while Kaoruko sits with her legs crossed and arms folded, as though she's listening seriously like some kind of trained professional. When Maya has finished, Kaoruko hums in contemplation.

"I see. So you're worried because Kuro-han hasn't changed much, even since the two of you became intimate."

"Yes…"

"She's being gentle and affectionate at times, and then suddenly will yell and snap at you at others, yes?"

"That's right."

"And you just don't know what she's really feeling, or how to respond, yes?"

"That's correct…" Maya feels a bit guilty talking to someone else like this behind Claudine's back. Perhaps she should just go and speak to her directly, be open and honest and give voice to her concerns so she and Claudine might talk things out properly-

"Then there's only one solution," Kaoruko decrees.

Maya snaps herself out of her thoughts and perks up to listen.

"Yes? What would you suggest, Hanayagi-san?" Surely Kaoruko must have a valid opinion on such topics. She and Futaba had been together since day one, after all.

Kaoruko smirks a little devilishly as she gives her answer.

"It's simple. Just give Kuro-han a taste of her own medicine."

"…Eh?"

"You heard me. Just do it right back to her. If she suddenly yells for no good reason, then yell back. See how she likes it. Then maybe it will get through her bullheaded skull that she's making you feel like this."

Maya is hesitant.

"Do you truly believe that will work?"

"Absolutely."

"Would it not be best to simply talk to her…?"

"Hah? If Kuro-han wants to communicate with her emotions, then you should do the same, don't you think?"

"Perhaps…"

"There. That should work out just fine." Kaoruko gives her a triumphant smile, as though she'd just single-handedly solved all of Maya's problems. "Now off you go! Don't let that Kuro-han overpower you. You're the mighty Tendo-han, are you not? Miss Top Star?"

"Yes." Maya gets to her feet and dips her head. "Then if this is truly what will allow me to communicate most-effectively with Saijou-san, I will do my best. Thank you, Hanayagi-san."

"Don't mention it. This love counseling service is on the house!"

With her instructions now laid clear for her, Maya takes her leave.

It's a bit worrisome to think about ignoring Claudine or purposefully being a bit mean to her, but Kaoruko had seemed convinced it would work somehow. Maya, knowing nothing about romantic relationships at this point, blindly follows through with her classmate's advice.

That evening for supper at the cafeteria, Maya sits next to Kaoruko, leaving her usual seat beside Claudine vacant. Claudine gives her clearly confused and even mildly-offended look. But before Maya can feel bad or start to explain herself, Kaoruko gives her a sharp nudge with her knee beneath the table. Maya remembers she's supposed to be acting coldly, so she turns her attention to her food instead of her girlfriend.

Throughout the course of the next week, Maya enacts these methods in an attempt to convey her emotions to Claudine. She is close to her at times, and ignores her at others. When Claudine invites her to a small tea break between classes, Maya declines. When Claudine offers to practice together in the studio, Maya replies that she would rather stay in her room and read.

But perhaps the biggest, most telling incident is a few nights later when Claudine is keen to curl up with Maya for bed that night, and Maya declines, claiming she would prefer to rest alone for a change.

Until now, Claudine has been a bit suspicious of something going on with her partner. But that's the point when she really begins to panic.

That night, as she's made to sleep alone in her own bed after having been rejected by Maya to join her in hers, Claudine's mind runs rampant. Maya has always been a bit of an oddball, but she's definitely been acting even stranger since they'd started dating. And especially these past few days.

Claudine racks her brain, trying to think of something she might've done in order to spark this change in Maya. But even after toiling for an hour as she tosses and turns in bed, she can't come up with anything at all.

/I haven't been doing anything differently. I've just been doing things normally. What's gotten into her now all of a sudden? Why is she ignoring me and not sitting with me? Why isn't she letting me into her room…?/

As the night creeps on, Claudine strays further and further from the relief of sleep. Her heart pounds with panic, and her thoughts rush like a swarm of bees.

Eventually, there's only one possibility she can land on; Tendo Maya was going to break up with her.

Claudine must've done something wrong to spark this. But for the life of her, she can't remember doing anything any differently than she normally did.

An awful, dreadful nausea settles over her stomach, as if it's being slowly crushed by a pile of bricks. When she next blinks up at the canopy of her bed, she feels a hot sting behind her eyes.

/No… I don't want this… I don't want us to break up…/

Of course they were rivals who were always competing. But they were so much more than that.

/Aren't we…?/

Claudine had certainly thought so. But maybe Maya didn't see things the same way…

/I don't want this, Claudine repeats in her mind. What can I do to show her that I want to be with her?/

She can already think of several things. She's going to get started first thing tomorrow...

But due to her excessive worrying, tomorrow comes much quicker than she'd been ready for, and Claudine doesn't sleep a wink before it arrives.

It's Friday now, so Claudine elects to get up early since she hadn't slept anyway so she can start on a special sort of breakfast. After getting dressed, Claudine heads to the student kitchens, rolls up her sleeves, and gets to work.

She's never actually made baumkuchen from scratch before, but after studying the recipe and finding the necessary ingredients, she manages to produce a rather satisfying result.

By the time her friends and Maya have arrived at the cafeteria for breakfast, Claudine has a beautiful and delectable baumkuchen to offer her partner.

"Here," she says while handing it to her. "It's for you."

Maya blinks as though she can't comprehend what's in front of her.

"Saijou-san? What-?"

"What does it look like? It's baumkuchen. I made you some."

"To what do I owe the honor?"

"It's nothing. I couldn't sleep last night, so I woke up early and decided to make some. That's all."

"I see…" Maya has to admit, it's quite difficult to keep up her cold-shoulder act with something like this. But she reels in her enthusiasm and projects an air like it's no big deal that her girlfriend had woken up early today to make her her favorite treat for breakfast. Maya eats it casually, and speaks calmly.

"It was very good. Thank you."

Of course, internally she wants nothing more than to pick Claudine clean off her feet this instant and kiss her for all to see. But a glance at Kaoruko has her remembering her tactics, so she plays it off cooly.

And of course, Claudine is crushed by the unenthusiastic response, still under the belief that Maya plans to end their relationship soon.

Therefore, Claudine puts forth even greater effort throughout the day to warm up to her further.

In art class, Maya's least-favorite elective, Claudine paints her a portrait of a swan in her free time, remarking how Maya herself has improved her technique. Maya, while honestly delighted, doesn't let on how she's truly feeling, and instead replies with brief words and uninterested glances.

During their dance lessons, Claudine goes so far as to offer to help Maya stretch rather than being aloof about it. But Maya declines her and goes to Kaoruko instead, who turns a confused Futaba over to Claudine.

In the afternoon, Claudine invites Maya to come watch some films with her. She offers to watch ones she herself had starred in as a child. Whereas Claudine would typically try to avoid watching such embarrassing films at all costs, she knows Maya enjoys them, so she tries to win her over this way.

And although Maya would like nothing more than to snuggle up with Claudine and watch those precious movies, she flippantly states that she has something else to do.

Dejected, Claudine offers to wait to go to the showers with her, but Maya tells her to go alone.

Claudine doesn't sing or even hum as she washes herself, which is more or less unheard of. She becomes lost in her worries, which pour down on her like the water, as if to drown her.

She gets dressed and dries her hair silently, without Maya to help her tend to it. She doesn't even join her friends for their usual Friday game night, and instead excuses herself to her room to lament.

/Well… it was nice while it lasted…/

She tries not to dwell on it too much. But the thought of losing the closeness she had with Maya and simply going back to being rivals and nothing more crushes her heart.

She'd thought Maya had liked her too. But Claudine must've done something to change her mind. Or perhaps Maya had simply changed her mind.

She curls up in bed, sickened at the thought that tomorrow might be the day Maya breaks up with her for real. If that's the case, Claudine would rather lock herself in her room and shut the rest of the world out.

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It's that very same night when Maya realizes she might have taken things a little too far.

The lounge is alive with chatter and the smell of snacks, but the space beside Maya on the couch is sorely empty. Troubled, Maya casts a worried glance at Kaoruko. But Kaoruko only smiles encouragingly, as if to tell her this is working perfectly and to keep it up.

However, Maya can't shake the feeling that this is enough. She'd clearly proven her point to Claudine, based on her partner's reactions. Rather, Maya isn't exactly certain what she'd conveyed to her, but it must have been something.

She doesn't really enjoy their fun night together without Claudine there, and by the time everyone retires, Maya has decided to confess everything to her girlfriend tomorrow.

Her sleep is a bit uneasy that night, but she wakes the next morning with conviction to set the record straight and speak to Claudine properly, like she'd wanted to do from the start.

But as Maya goes out her typical Saturday routine, she hardly catches so much as a glimpse of Claudine all day. The moment Maya enters the cafeteria to eat, Claudine abruptly stands and exits. The moment she steps into the dance studio for extra practice, Claudine states she's exhausted and hurries out.

Unlike the past few days where she'd clearly been trying to make Maya pay more attention to her, now she is avoiding her completely.

Just as Maya thought, she'd taken this too far. Claudine was just confused now, no doubt, and no longer knew how to behave around her, and that was certainly not how Maya wanted their relationship to be.

Maya doesn't see her girlfriend at supper and assumes she had already eaten, or even skipped altogether.

By now, all of their friends can tell something is amiss and sent Maya worried looks. She reassures them all that she'll speak to Claudine at once.

So after a brief dinner, Maya hurries back to the dorms. She pauses outside of Claudine's before knocking softly four times, something they always did for each other.

"Saijou-san…?" Maya calls out to her with a hint of concern. "We need to talk. Please come see me at your earliest convenience." She leaves it at that, wanting Claudine to approach her when she felt ready, rather than standing outside her door and pressuring Claudine to let her in.

Maya steps away and retreats to her own bedroom to wait for her, even if it takes all night...

And of course, to the distressed Claudine who believes Maya is going to break up with her, hearing her knock and then say "We need to talk" had only succeeded in making her heart twist even harder.

She lies on her bed for a little while longer, trying to steel herself for what's to come, to no avail.

/I guess we should just rip off the bandaid, huh…/

But for something like this, Lou's wouldn't be able to help her this time.

So with a heavy sigh, and an even heavier heart, Claudine pushes herself up slowly and limps to the door. She bites her lip to keep it from wobbling, clutching her chest to keep her heart from bursting from the pain.

The walk to Maya's room takes hours in her mind, and yet she still arrives all too quickly. She stands there, trying to make herself knock, but refusing to. But she can't call out either; her voice is too hoarse and jumbled in the bottom of her throat.

/Just get it over with!/

At last Claudine raises her hand and knocks four times. A moment later, Maya answers the door.

Initially, Maya had been wearing a small smile to welcome her in.

"Saijou-san-"

But the moment Maya catches sight of her, her smile falls away.

Claudine is already crying before she even steps foot into the room.

"Go ahead," she sniffles, still trying to keep her head held high. "Just make it quick, Tendo Maya…"

Maya is taken completely aback, frazzled.

"S-Saijou-san? Whatever is the matter? Why are you crying?"

"Why-?" Claudine sputters, wiping her arm across her face. "Who wouldn't cry… when their girlfriend is about to break up with them…"

"Eh-?"

"I know," Claudine chokes. "I know that's what you want to do, so just-"

"Saijou-san!" Maya fretfully closes the door behind her, taking Claudine gently by the hand to draw her inside. She can feel her shaking and assumes Claudine is about to collapse to her knees in another moment, so Maya guides her to the bed to sit beside her. "Saijou-san… why ever would you think that were the case?"

"Oh, save it!" Claudine cries. "I know that's what you're about to do. I just can't understand why… After I tried to do everything I could to make it up to you, whatever it was I did… I tried making baumkuchen, I painted you a picture, I tried to help you whenever I could, but still… it wasn't enough, was it?"

Claudine is more or less beside herself by now, alternating wiping each arm across her eyes again and again.

"I'm sorry… I have no idea what I did in order to make you resent me to this point… but I must've done something… You started ignoring me, refusing my offers to eat together or dance together, you made plans with everyone else but me, and you wouldn't even look my way… If it's over, then just come out and say it. My heart can't take this anymore-"

"Claudine!" In her shock, Maya drops all formalities in an instant as Claudine pours her heart out to her. Maya pulls her into a hug instantly, shaking her head with vigor. "That isn't it at all! You're mistaken!"

Claudine whimpers, wanting more than anything to hug her back, but too confused now to do anything more than keep crying.

"What… are you saying…? How could it be anything else but you wanting to break up with me? What other explanation is there, then…?"

Maya laments to herself in her mind while simultaneously hugging Claudine tighter.

"Oh, I knew I should have just spoken to you from the start…"

"From the start of what…?" Claudine sniffles. "You're not making any sense, Maya…"

"And for that - and for everything else about this horrible misunderstanding - I offer my sincerest apologies, Claudine."

Maya hugs her closer, trying to convey her repentance with her arms alone, pouring her everything into that embrace. Claudine weeps for a moment longer as she finally attempts at hugging her back. Maya has seen and done enough. She tells her everything now.

"As I said, it was all just a terrible misunderstanding. Rather, a lack of proper communication on my part. I'm so very sorry."

By now, Claudine has calmed down enough to understand the situation; that Maya isn't breaking up with her, and that all of this was just some majorly-unfortunate incident where both of them had failed to communicate effectively.

Once she's gotten ahold of herself, Claudine eases back from her a little, just enough to look up into her eyes. Maya's are brimming with tears too, though not nearly as wet and puffy as Claudine's are. Claudine inhales a deep breath, then releases it.

"All right," she murmurs. "I'm listening. What started all of this?"

Maya opens up to her honestly. She tells Claudine of how she thought things might change once they'd become romantic, and yet Claudine had continued to yell at her on occasion, or get easily frustrated, or remain aloof at times.

When Claudine hears that all of this had been off-putting to Maya, she's a little stunned.

"Huh? But I was just being myself!"

"…Eh?" Maya blinks, clearly perplexed.

Claudine nods, a faint blush coming across her cheeks.

"Yes, well… that's just how I am. You know that better than anyone else, don't you? I tend to be loud at times, and I don't always have a filter. I know it's something I should work on… but I didn't think I needed to worry about any of that with you. Not with Tendo Maya, who knows me better than anyone else in the world.

"My being like that had never seemed to bother you all that much before. I didn't think it would be any different just because we started dating." She falls silent for a moment, mulling it over. "But… now that I think about it, I can understand why it might've made you upset. After all, we're not just classmates and rivals anymore. We're girlfriends. And yet I continued to behave in such a manner…"

As Claudine starts repenting, Maya backtracks, quickly reaching out to take both of her hands.

"No, Claudine-" She gives her hands a squeeze, having Claudine look at her. "You are absolutely right. You were simply being yourself. Unabashedly so. And that's one of the many things I fell in love with about you."

Claudine blushes redder, but remains silent as Maya continues.

"It was I who was in the wrong. I expected things to change somehow once we started dating… but now I realize that was foolish of me. After all, I already love you exactly as you are, Claudine. I don't want anything to change, especially not because we became closer. If you were to suddenly start acting differently toward me because of that, I might be a little concerned."

Maya closes her eyes, understanding the mishap perfectly now. "It was my mistake. As you said, you were simply being your usual self. I shouldn't have expected any of that to change. I love your passionate words and your flustered expression. I love how you can be standoffish at times and incredibly affectionate at others. I wouldn't want a single bit of that to change, or else you would no longer be the person I fell in love with."

"T-Tendo Maya-" Claudine tries to stop her from saying such embarrassing things. Her face has turned entirely red now, and her heart is pounding out of control. Maya smiles genuinely.

"See? This is precisely what I am referring to."

"You- really are shameless!"

"But of course."

"So then… why did you start ignoring me?" Claudine asks, a little more quietly.

Maya frowns, not enjoying the memories of what she'd done.

"My advisor on the matter told me to do so. To 'give you a taste of your own medicine,' I believe was the phrase."

"Advisor?" Claudine narrows her eyes. "Who exactly was that?"

"Hanayagi-san."

Claudine huffs with every ounce of air in her entire body.

"That Kaoruko! I'll kill her!"

Claudine bursts up all at once, and Maya hastily grabs hold of her to keep her from tearing out of the room. This explosive impulsiveness to act on an injustice was a part of her that Maya greatly admired.

"Please, just a moment," she says, coaxing Claudine back down. "I'm certain Hanayagi-san meant well."

"Or she just wanted to mess with us! And it worked!"

"Surely not…"

Maya tries to the end to defend her friend, but Claudine gives her a pointed look, and Maya eventually realizes she's probably right. Of course Kaoruko never meant for things to get as severe as a potential breakup misunderstanding, but she most definitely had wanted to mess with the two of them a bit.

After a moment where both Maya and Claudine calm themselves a little, they set thoughts of Kaoruko's treachery aside and refocus on the situation at hand.

"So, to be clear," Claudine says. "You aren't breaking up with me?"

"Never." Maya's response is instantaneous. Claudine smiles a little.

"That's a relief… But I do owe you an apology."

"Whatever for?"

"Like you said, I shouldn't have been so difficult, especially once we'd started dating."

To this, Maya shakes her head.

"No. As you said, you were simply being yourself. You shouldn't have to change simply because you are dating someone. And as I mentioned, that is the Saijou Claudine I fell in love with."

"You're saying such things again…" Claudine mumbles. "But… I could at least stand to be a bit more honest, can't I? I know you were always saying that, and sometimes it was just a tease, but… it's the truth."

Maya softens, wrapping her arms around Claudine again and pulling her into a hug.

"Then perhaps being more honest is something you can improve on. But you needn't make any drastic changes."

"Right… I guess I'm just as much of a handful as you are, aren't I? I'll say what I'm thinking outright, but sometimes it's in a way that causes others to misinterpret my meaning. I'll do my best not to leave room for uncertainties. And if you're ever unsure about anything, you can just ask me, Maya."

For some reason, hearing her say such honest words so openly like that causes Maya to tear up a little. It's an offer she'd never been made before; the offer to speak up and ask questions if she was unsure about something, the offer to be able to speak freely with someone without a fear of ridicule.

Maya wipes her eyes, then nods with a smile.

"I will. And I shall also do my best not to jump to conclusions all on my own." Maya hugs her a bit tighter, and Claudine reciprocates. "After all, that is what our kind of relationship entails, is it not? To be able to speak our minds freely and honestly."

"Oui. And I know for a fact you're the only person who can handle me, just like I'm the only person who can handle you."

"I agree," Maya nods. "We are quite the perfect match, wouldn't you say?"

"Mechante va."

"Precisely."

Claudine rolls her eyes with a smile, and Maya pulls her in for a kiss. And it's like no misunderstanding had ever occurred at all.

Saving her colorful choice of words for Kaoruko for tomorrow, Claudine lets out a yawn, reminding herself she hasn't slept in two days. Maya lies her down first, then gets comfortable beside her, wrapping Claudine in her arms and pampering her with sweet kisses until she drifts off.

Maya falls asleep a moment later, and harmony is restored to the world.

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A/N: More lover's quarrels and misunderstandings leading to honest communication and happy endings~