I live in a 2 bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan with my parents. It's an area populated mostly by families that have been here for decades. Although our apartment is small, it's a pretty nice place to live.
It was the middle of very hot New York summer. My parents had gone away to the shore and left me behind after my persistent begging. It was nice to spend some time alone and just basically slack. Since I had never had a boyfriend and never went out partying, my parents certainly had no reason to worry about me,; being the dream daughter, I was 16 at the time. Physically, I had just developed and considered a very pretty Asian girl of Chinese immigrant parents. I had white flawless skin that was a blessing, and shiny black hair that came down to my shoulders contrasting alabaster skin. My breasts were not huge but the right size for my petite frame, no fat, and a round  little butt that caught the attention of older men in the subway all the time whether I liked it or not. I have been told that I had the kind of appearance that only an Asian girl of that age can; being an innocent little pixie girl and budding sexuality at the same time. Any thoughts of the opposite sex  at that time were one's of dreamy romanticism involving people and situations that are ridiculous. Basically, very immature.

The superintendent of our building was always looking at me in ways that were fairly obvious. He seemed to be a polite and very nice middle-aged divorced man, but not always good at concealing what he was thinking. Like a lot of older men, he seemed to be really crazy about looking at my butt ,which he considered so cute. I would wear very small cut-off shorts or shear skirts during the summer that accent my shape, but  would never wear anything trashy or obvious, nor did i ever want to draw attention to myself in a sexual way. I just wanted to look nice and didn't think I would rouse older men.

On "that" day , the superintendent showed up to fix a window and electrical outlet problem in our apartment. I had only been awake for a short while when he knocked on the door. I had just taken a shower , my hair still damp, wearing a little white tshirt and nothing else. It was hot outside that day,  but a kind of dry heat that made it possible to be comfortable with just window fan which I had going  in my bedroom.  I don't think I heard him knock the first time, but with the second knock I knew it had to be him. I walked out of my room  and to the foyer to open the door..my bare feet piter paddering on the hardwood floor. After unlocking and opening the door, he stepped into the apartment smiling. He was  wearing typical jeans and sweatshirt, salt and pepper hair, razor stuble, carrying a tool box, rugged looking but friendly.   He looked at me nicely  and asked if my parents were home. I told him they were out of town for 3 weeks but that I would show him where the work needed to be done. "I'll take care of it now", he replied. He followed me as I walked into the living room and over to the window.  Once there,  I had to reach up on my tippy-toes to show him  the upper part  where it was not closing properly.  When reaching, my shirt rose enough for him to see just  a little bit of my bare bottom. I was completely oblivious to all this though, being that I was very naive. After showing him the problem, he said it would only take a few minutes to fix and he started working.

I went back into my room and started to look at some things I was thinking of buying on Amazon, just going about my business. I could hear the banging of him doing his work; which soon stopped. I then saw him standing at my door looking at me in a way that puzzled me and kind of scared me.  It was just a strange kind of expression on his face. He told me that he had finished with the window and  needed to be shown the electrical outlet. I stood up and he stepped aside to let me pass and then following me back to the living room. "It's just over threre" I said, pointing to left side of room. The outlet was behind a big reclining chair which I began to try and pull away from the wall, struggling without much success. He quickly jumped in to help me as we pushed it aside together, his strong arm accidentally brushing against my small arm. We must have looked like father and stepdaughter at that moment. After moving the chair, he stepped back and listened to me to tell him what needed to be done. While explaining the problem,  I had to bend down to show him which of the 2 elecrical sockets were not working.  My t shirt hiked up even more this time, clearly exposing my 16 year old buttocks and probably a bit between my legs. While still talking,  I suddenly became aware of my surroundings. A gentle breeze came through the window in front of me along with the deep hum of the city outside, and I felt the breeze brushing on my bare thighs.  In a sudden panic, I sprung up and turned around to face my superintendent. I froze in stunned shock when I saw his face. It was like that of a hungry animal and I was his prey. He looked as if he wanted to devour me. I stood still, ashamed and not knowing what to do or say. "Electrical problems need to serviced by an electrician" he said regaining his composure, "I'll call one later.
He then slowly walked over to the sofa and sat down. He slumped back, appearing to make himself comfortable as if he were in his own home. I was puzzled as it seemed that the wheels in his head were turning to some definite direction, but I didn't know where.   "So...so are you done now?" I asked, my speech starting to studded a little. There was no answer. He just sat there silently. Then, after  a long period of awkward silence passed, he cleared his throat and asked in a clear voice "Would you like me to tell your parents what you have been doing, little girl?. Tell them of how you walked around in front of me half-naked and teasing me? I can tell that your parents are very conservative and I doubt they would be very happy. I SHOULD tell them" he said, "but if you do exactly as I say for next 3 weeks, they will never know". I listened to what he said and  began shaking...unable to believe that this is actually happening to me. "But...I didn't do anything wrong", I said, but  my childish whining had no effect on him as he just remained emotionless.  It is true to say that it would be a disaster if he told my parents. Even if I did nothing intentionally wrong, the shame and the blame for being so careless is something they would hang over me forever. I just couldn't bare that awkwardness. I froze, not knowing what to do. "Do you understand me"? he then asked in a firm voice. Tears begun to well in my eyes as I stood in front of him, full of shame and looking at the floor. "Yes" I said, in a meek voice.

His eyes scanned  me slowly up and down, and he then commanded "take that shirt off"! I stood  completely still, not knowing what to say. I also realized that I really had no choice but to do as he said. He sat there, looking at me, growing inpatient. Shaking, I clasped the bottom hem of my tshirt with my finger tips and began to pull up. It was a struggled in my nervousness to do just this simple task and I almost fell over trying to get the shirt over my head. Once off, i dropped the tshirt to the floor and was complelty naked in front him. I had never been naked like this in front of man and was so self conscience of my body, especially since I have almost no hair anywhere. I was standing there on display for a man I really didn't even know. He enjoyed seeing me exposed and vulnerable...a newly developed young girl. When I would cover my breasts or pubic area he would shout out, "keep those hands down"! He just looked at me...taking me in as if devouring me with his eyes. He then motioned me to move in close to him. I did as he said. Standing there, I concentrated on looking at the wall in back of him, trying to escape from this surrealistic nightmare. "What have I done to deserve this"? I thought, tears welling in my eyes again. I was not able to pull myself away though, as at such a close proximate, his eyes scanning up and down my exposed flesh felt like ice. I then felt his fingers clasp my nipples as he began to gently pinch and pull. This was the first time a man had ever touched me in any such way and I couldn't understand why he was doing this to me.  After a short time, his pinching and pulling became harder.. he squeezed my nipples very, very  hard and pulled....pulled so hard that the skin of my firm b cup breasts could stretch no more. I grimaced in pain while he had his amusement; just toying.   He seemed to know when the pain became unbearable though and  stopped; leaning in to give a quick kiss to each of my now sore little nipples. I then felt the coarseness of his face on the soft part of my upper right arm. I could feel him licking my skin, kissing, gentle bites, inhaling deeply...it was if it he was completely addicted to the taste and smell of my flesh. He then wrapped his arms around my waste and began doing the same to my neck, kissing,  licking...taking  me in. My body just quivered in nervousness.  Finally, he leaned back into the sofa and took in a long deep breath; apparently remembering  something he had forgotten a long while ago...the smell of a  young girl's skin. It was like heaven to him.  He looked down at my waste and at the thin and almost invisible little line of pubic hair that had recently grown in. He gave a little tug on this, only adding to my complete embarrassment.

He sat still again as  I stood waiting for whatever would come next. Then, in almost a whisper, I heard him say " turn around and show me your bum,".  Without a word, I did as he said, awkwardly turning around to display what he clearly had been wanting to see for so long. My bare bottom was directly in front of his face now. He placed his right thumb gently on my lower back and  pushed deliberately inward so that my back arched in and my buttocks protruded out. He sat looking at my bare bottom. Mmmm...so nice, so young" he said under his breath. I then felt his fingertip on the back of my neck as he began to trace down slowly...down my spine to my lower back..slowly tracing, causing shivers to run up my body.. until finally tracing up and down the crack of my bum. Slowly..deliberately...up and down. Then, I felt his finger tips on each of the two creases where my upper legs end and the soft puffy mound of my cheeks begin. He pinched lightly and then leaned in to kiss and nibble the flesh.  Each of his hands then cupped my cheeks adoringly, gently squeezing and massaging each soft, firm little mound. "Mmmm..this is what I have been dreaming of" It was now as if I were just a piece of butt for him to enjoy and there was nothing I could do but let him. He then ordered me to reach around and pull my cheeks apart.  I wasn't certain what I was hearing... "wha..what"? I asked, so confused. "You heard what I said baby", he replied, "pull those little butt cheeks apart for me". Tears began to fall down my face at the humiliation, but I had to do as he said.  I reached around awkwardly and pulled my 16 year old bottom cheeks apart.  "Wider!" he then ordered. I complied..being so exposed. I jumped when I felt is finger tip gently tickle my anus, "mmmm...so small" .

He stood up, patted me on top of the head and said "ok, let's go to your room". He marched me naked to my bedroom. I felt as if I were a little girl going to be punished. He signaled for me to lay on my bed. He pushed my stuffed animals aside, put down a  pillow for me to rest my head on,  and positioned me on my hands and knees. I did nothing to resist and positioned myself to the way he wanted. The embarrassment was indescribable as he took me in with his eyes. He watched  my bare bottom twitch  back and fourth slightly in my nervousness..adding to his enjoyment. Like this, i felt as if I were just offering myself to him.  A period of silenced passed that could have been seconds or hours as he looked at my innocent womanhood so exposed.   As he was standing at the foot of my bed, I then heard sounds that could only be his belt buckle being undone. After this, something hit the floor that could only be his pants.  "Where is all of this going to go?", I thought. I then heard him move onto  the bed in back of me. More madning silence followed  before he said  sternly, "look back at me, little girl" My eyes were closed hoping the nightmare would end, but i did what he said and looked back at him. I was shocked at what I saw.  His penis was enormous. It must have been at least 8 inches long . I had never seen an erect penis before and had no idea it would be so big, It stood up straight like a piece of stone from a statue, so big and angry.With a smirk on his now flushed face, he asked me, "have you ever seen a  grown mans cock before, Lisa"?  Through the tears, I couldn't stop looking at it, and meekly shook my head "no". "Did you think it would be so big"? he asked. "No" I answered in a whisper. He then took my hand and wrapped it around his penis. It was just so hard and somehow seemed to throb in my hand although I know it actually did not. It scared me so much in ways I can't even now describe.  He directed my hand to srtoke up and down the leangth of it. He then leaned over to me and  began to gently run his fingers in my hair and whispered softly in my ear "listen little girl, I'm going to push this all the way up your ass and you're going to have to take it". I began shaking even more..."no, please don't", I pleaded softly in a whimpering voice. "Yes, yes baby" he replied, softly stroking my hair. My head was going a million miles a second. There was no way he could actually do that, I thought to myself, I am too tight and it will never fit. He'll try but then give up.

The head of his penis slid up and down the parted crack of my bottom...teasing me without mercy. I then felt it push in between my cheeks and press on my  anus. I began to panic when realizing he is actually going to do this. No, I am too small!! I knew though that he was now an animal that will not be denied his pleasure... and I knew i had no choice but endure. I felt each of his strong hands take hold of my waste..and he began to push his penis in. The pain shot through my body. I clenched my teeth as he forced it into my tight little rectum. My butt squeezed it. It is impossibly tight …it cannot fit!!. He would not be denied his pleasure though. He continued to push anyway…forcing his huge erection in. He looked down at my bum to see his penis slowly disappear between my cheeks.  "Oh god, it is good, so tight" he said . I could do nothing as my walls squeeze around it. My butt can't take it..but he continued to push . It took about 2 minutes for him to a get a little more than half-way in. I was sobbing softly.  I then felt him take a firmer hold of my waste, and with all if his weight, pushed it  all the way in without stopping.  My sobs turned into a state of shock as if I had left my body. "OH GOD, YES, TAKE IT ALL LITTLE GIRL" he grunted as he forced it in. It soon was all the way in my ass; which squeezed like a thick elastic band. He then began to slowly pull out. It felt just as tight. When the tip of his penis was almost out ot me, he then pushed back in again, obviously savoring the feeling and trying not to rush. Then, he began to slowly pump my bottom....watching his penis disappear again and again between the baby white mounds of my cheeks. It was as if it was his and for his enjoyment to do as he please. I only existed for this reason and he was using me like a little doll. This is what he had always wanted...a young Asian girl to surrender her virgin ass to him, and now he had it.   My soft sobs only seemed to excite him more as he pumped away with long and deep strokes. "Awww..go ahead and cry little girl. Does it hurt? Your little ass is all mine to enjoy now and you're taking it all like a good girl."  I could not tell how much time passed, but his pumping became faster and faster.   He pumped my poor little butt hard until he finally reached a climax and  exploded like a val-canoe deep inside me. When he took it out  there was nothing left of me. I was as lifeless as doll lying still and complelty used up. He bent down and kissed me gently on the cheek, patted my bottom, and then simply said "talk to you later" and left.
I didn't leave the appartment for the rest of the day. My parents tried to call me but I didn't take the call and texted them back  saying I was in Central Park with my freinds.  I was afraid that they would tell from my voice that something bad had happened. In a deep depression,  I felt as if  every  ounce of didgity had been taken from me.  "How could this have happened"? I kept asking myself over and over, "what did i do wrong"?  It really hadn't sunk in. I spent the day in suclusion trying to get it out of my mind, until that night...when I recieved a text from HIM.  When seeing it come in  I remembered that my mom gave him my number  in case he needed permission  to come into the appartment while they were gone. The text simple read "be at home tomorrow at 3".
This was not the end. For the next 3 weeks I would remain obligated to let him use me when he wanted. When he had free time, he would text me and I had to meet him at my home. Fortunately, he took mercy on my butt which was very sore. He also respected that I wanted to remain (in the normal sense) a virgin.  In his old world sensibility, he seemed to have an understanding of that. During the 3 weeks, I had to give him a blowjob whenever he wanted; which was at least once a day.  Apparently (by his words) this is something I quickly became very good at. He said that  no girl had ever been able to make him orgasm from a blowjob, and I did every time.  It was not as if I had any choice though. The first time I did it, he taught me by gently guiding my head faster or slower and telling me how much suction to use with my mouth..slapping me on top of the head if it was not right. The most important thing he emphasized was to  "use only your mouth and never, never stop until it's over!".   I learned to be his personal blowjob girl. When my jaw would become heavy, I would go into a kind of trance and could suck most of the way into my mouth and for as long as it took for him to orgasm. He  sometimes would take a very long time, especially  if it was the second or third blowjob of the day; the longest being around 45 mintues.  There were times I felt like a human sucking machine. He said that he was proud of me.  While I did it,  he would stroke my hair and say things things like "that's a good little girl, keep sucking". When told too, I would wear my hair in pigtails so that he could  hold them  while I suck;  loving how cute I looked.  But mostly, he would just sit or lie back and watch my head bob up and down endlessly, listening to the noises my mouth made and  never having to think about how long or short it will take....occasionally stroking my hair and just enjoying  being sucked.   He often would have me lick his  scrotum and butt first , which seemed to really please him. He also liked to rub his penis on my face first while I sat on the floor in front of him; loving the contrast of his huge penis and my small, innocent face looking at it. He would always orgasm in my mouth; ejaculating  large amounts of warm liquid while moaning  from the pleasusure of each spasm.   I always  had to drink all the sperm that he released , which I did compliantly  He would then pat me on top pf the head as if I were a child that just did something right.  He said once, almost adoringly , "you're a natural born blowjob girl, Lisa,  every man's dream".  We would usually meet in the late afternoon and then again at night. If he had 2 or more continuous  hours free, I would have to give him a second  blowjob in the same visit.  When it was time for the second blowjob I would know because I would see some hardness begin to return to his penis followed by that demanding expression when he looked at me. He would then sit back and spread his legs apart, his erection starting  to stand up again, and say "time to start sucking again, Lisa".   Other times  he would be nonverbal and just point to his penis when ready, knowing I knew what to do. I would obediently go back to my work.

There was another side to all of this. During  the time in between these multiple "sessions", as he called them,  we actually talked.   I found out that our parents experiences as immigrants coming to NY  had similarities as that he is a second generation  Italian American.  He was articulate and as good  a listener as he was talking about himself. He actually listened to what I would say, unlike guys my age who could sometimes barely hold a conversation. At times I felt sorry for him and other times had admiration. I was still scared of him and wanted this nightmare to be over, but could at least have some sort of understanding of him as a human being.  He even once took me out to an Italian Bistro in Brooklyn owned by his cousin. I thought it would be awkward as anything but he knew how to behave; telling everyone I was a tenants little daughter that got left home alone. The food was delicous and everyone was so sweet to me. It was all such a conflict...so confusing. I guess it was important to him that I knew he was a real man with feeling and a family, and not just this person that had control over me for a short while.

The last day we met, he took my butt again. I remember him looking at me with that hunger in his eyes and saying "all day I have been dreaming of that cute little ass".  A few days after that first time, I had stopped seeing blood when going to the bathroom so I knew there was no risk of infection. The soreness also went away. By the end of the second week I was clearly recovered and tighter than ever. It didn't hurt any less the second time, I still cried, but at least I could anticipate what would happen when letting him have what he wanted. This time, it didn't seem as much like a rape; at least at first. He gave me a really nice massage that helped relax my body that was tense in anticipation. His strong hands gently massaging felt really nice; instinctively knowing where to apply pressure.  He put a pillow under my waste  and spent prolonged time kissing and caressing my rear-end, doing with his tongue what I had done for him a number of times. Then, he positioned me on my hands and knees; facing the foot of the bed and at a mirror attached to the wall. He instructed me to not lower my head so that he can could see the expression on my face while he enjoyed pumping my bottom. He worked it in slowly like before and took his time enjoying me, his pushing  graudauly  increasing in speed and streangth as he came closer to finishing. Unlike the first time, he stayed for a while after releasing in me, just laying quietly. This  enviably led to him becoming horney again and me having to give him a blowjob...sucking his penis shortly after it had been in my rectum.  I sucked him for about 25 minutes before he reached the second orgasm. When finally leaving me, he told me that there was no reason for me to feel bad about this. He explained that if I really had trouble dealing with it, I could always reside in the fact that I had no choice.  Before walking out he gave me a strong, sincere, adoring hug and kiss on the forehead and said "I'm sorry I did this to you, Lisa.  but I really couldn't help it. I'm not really a bad guy, just a sad guy . You are very special though and you'll have a great life in front of you and with a good man that loves you very much" And then he left.

When it was over and my parents came back, we never saw each other again other than running into each other in the hall or when he had to come over and fix something. He would just smile at me, but with the memory behind his eyes.

Now, at 19, it's not easy trying to reconcile this. Three weeks is less than a second  of a lifetime, and after a while , it starts to seem more and more like on of those weird fever dream. At one point, i actually tried to convince myself that it didn't happen; unsuccessfully.  For a few weeks after, I kept thinking that what happened showed on my face and that everyone could see it.  That feeling went away.  Also, gone was wearing  tiny short cut-offs  during summer;  the reason being fairly obvious.   I never told anyone about this....nobody. I guess it would be hard to explain how I could be so stupid as to let someone manipulate me like that....even at that age.  Was there a part of me that subconsciously  felt i deserved  it? Once, when talking with a friend, I brought up what happened in the guise of a "what if it happened to you" type question. My friend replied saying that she would not rest until this hypothetical bastard was "castrated and left in jail to be eaten by rats". The thing is, I've honestly never felt that I'm entitled to any kind of retribution. It's all confusing and no use obsessing over....it simply happened and there's nothing i can do to reverse it. Occasionally, the demons will come out when I think about it, but then I think about the way he looked sometimes. Yes, he looked at me with intense lust, but after he released, he  looked at me  as if  I were his little girl that he wanted to adorn and protect more than anything. Then, he would sink back into his own head with deep sadness that seemed like profound loss. I never found out what the loss was though, I think it's something that is just beyond me. Maybe for those 3 weeks I at least took away the pain. I still haven't had an actual relationship and am considered the most introverted sexually of all my friends. I wonder how the experience will come into play when I have a boyfriend?   Hopefully it won't.