Jacob says:
 Hey
 Sorry about last night, I don't know what came over me.
 Forgive me?
The Joy says:
 I'm not sure what I want to say to you.
 There are only so many times you can hurt me and make me feel like a goddamn idiot before I get frustrated and cut all contact.
 And I don't mean for a week, I don't mean for a month or two, I mean forever.
Jacob says:
 Well that's your choice.
 But let me just point out this fact. Hurt you? What did I ever do to hurt you?
 Other than before.
The Joy says:
 >other than before
 I like how that's no longer relevant because it isn't convienient for you.
 I have enough bullshit in my life and I honestly don't need yours piled on.
 You've known me for years but every time we speak it's like you've never spoken to me before
 and after a while it goes from annoying to downright nerve grating
Jacob says:
 mhmm.
 Is it my turn now?
The Joy says:
 I guess :Va
Jacob says:
 Alright, good. You claim I hurt you. Yeah, maybe I did. But when you're in a relationship where you can never see the face to match the voice or be able to touch the person then it doesn't feel real. It feels like a fabrication of the mind, an illusion. It gets to the point where I even began to wonder if it was real. On top of that, I think I've seen your face maybe once in all the years
 I'm not done.
 I ran out of room.
The Joy says:
 uhm you're definitely wrong if you think that this is over relationship drama.  Just sayin' :Va
Jacob says:
 See there you go again.
 I just said I wasn't finished.
 I was explaining my actions for before.
 But anyways, do you know how frustrating it is to put your hopes in someone else, to hope they'll share the work, the load of running a community. Yeah, AE was a mistake on my part. But I was putting effort into AS, more than I had in any other recently. You know what happens? You disappear and half your friends leave. What does that say? So I'm left with people I invited who post maybe once or...
 twice before they log off. Then you say you're working on getting new members. But on top of that, I had to pester you to get the promotional graphics you knew are needed to help spread the word. On top of that, I wanted to role play with you. Really I did. But you want so bad to belittle everyone that you don't stop to think that maybe I want a chance to have a community of players who...
 participate after countless other failures. Trust me, there is only so much a person can take before they begin to doubt themselves and wonder if they were ever supposed to be in that position in the first place. And yeah, I talk to you sometimes like I've never met you before because you're never the same when I do. You always do things differently, you're always changing, or something is always.
 happening forcing you to be different. I understand that, really I do. But you have to understand, some of the things I do are because of what's happened to me in life. You think you've dealt with shit at home. That's fine.
 Try having your parents be divorced and they use you as their messenger between them and try to turn you against the other. How no matter how hard you try it seems like you're climbing up a rain-slick wall, sliding back down to the ground each time, never getting higher than a certain point. How people you thought to be your friends suddenly don't want to hang out anymore, do anything more, and...
 still not finished
The Joy says:
 I hate to interrupt you, but let's not go down the BOO HOO WOE IS ME path.  You honestly don't want to fucking start that.
Jacob says:
 I'm not.
The Joy says:
 You *honestly* don't want to start that shit
Jacob says:
 God damnit Steph.
The Joy says:
 because I've gone through shit you can't even fucking imagine
 my mother left me when I was six years old and for years I moved so many times in a year I won't ever remember how many schools I've gone to.
 You HONESTLY don't want to start comparing our lives.
 You can cry about youe parents leaving but mine divorced when I was too young to understand that it wasn't my fault
Jacob says:
 MY FUCKING PARENTS DIVORCED WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER AND ALREADY IN EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN, THEN THEY FUCKING USED ME AS THEIR MESSENGER. Tried to get me to get the other in trouble.
 I was already being harassed by people I thought to be my friends when my parents divorced.
 Why do you always do this?
 I wanted to solve this without getting mad.
 Honestly, I'm trying so hard to be fair. I respect you Steph, in ways you could never imagine but...
The Joy says:
 If you respected me, you wouldn't treat me the way you do, even if I'm frustrating and always changing.
Jacob says:
 treat you the way I do
 ?
 How do I treat you then Steph, tell me?
The Joy says:
 You usually treat me like I'm stupid.
 And that I don't know a damn thing about the internet, writing, or rping.
Jacob says:
 That's not true, or it shouldn't be.
The Joy says:
 You do though.
 You might not fully realize it, but you do.
 Last night for example.
 You just assumed that literally all of my ideas are unusable shotafodder
 without even bothering to ask me about it.
Jacob says:
 Now that's bullshit. I asked you and you didn't give me a straight answer.
The Joy says:
 You never gave me a chance to say that my RP ideas are usually the ones that aren't good enough to be turned into actual writing projects.
 therefore, I'm not really the one to ask about rp ideas because they'd be fucking terrible on purpose.
Jacob says:
 No idea is terrible.
 And I told you that.
The Joy says:
 They are if you make it so.
 Honestly, I barely rp anymore because I've been channeling my creative energy into writing something that isn't as interesting as watching a fish out of water die
 But you never gave me a chance to say that, either.
Jacob says:
 So you're saying every idea of mine is as interesting as watching a fish out of water die.
 ?
The Joy says:
 You just ambushed me out of nowhere with options for things that I'm honestly not interested in.
Jacob says:
 Oh well my bad for wanting you to rp. Let me just apologize for wanting to get you involved.
 God you're as bad as Sig is anymore.
The Joy says:
 You don't need to apologize, but you need to give me a chance to fucking say something before you fly off the handle into space to meet with pluto for a tea party.
Jacob says:
 As soon as I can clone myself you won't have to worry about getting involved.
 Been there, done that.
The Joy says:
 Well you did it again last night.
Jacob says:
 Of course I did it.
 When I decide on something, I sorta just plow ahead.
 But you skipped my question again.
 Is that really what my stuff is? Just boring, nail on the chalkboard creativity?
The Joy says:
 Well, I don't want to crush your heart, but yes, sometimes it's boring as fuck
 I've tried to say it politely
 but after a while I just stopped
Jacob says:
 Heh, well it doesn't matter what you think because I don't care. I'll keep writing because its something I want to do. Sorry if its not a shotafest novel.
 But frankly, I just don't find those interesting.
The Joy says:
 will you fucking stop bringing up the shota?
 It was over two years ago
 and a one time thing.
Jacob says:
 And another thing. If I'm such a bother then why do you keep talking to me? What makes you want to associate yourself with a boring individual?
The Joy says:
 Since you asked
 I'll tell you.
 It's because you keep coming back like herpes.
Jacob says:
 Heh, well its good to know I'm such a despicable disease. Maybe I should just infect some others with my presence, might make your life a little easier.
The Joy says:
 It would, actually.
Jacob says:
 Well it was good to know thats what I was in your life, not a friend or even an acquaintance but a microbial infection.
 Eh, oh well. You're but one person amongst many. Oh and before I go, what's your novel about, miss oh so interesting?
The Joy says:
 As if I'd tell you.  Listen, I'd rather watch someone with Down's Syndrome spoon cottage cheese into your dead great-grandmother's ass and sloppily eat it out than talk to you.
 I'd rather watch someone stuff newborn kittens into a blender and serve it to me with bloody vagina tissue ice cream than participate in one of your IQ-dropping roleplays.
 Your IQ must be negative three after the abuse you put your mind through trying to make up the shit that you do.
 And honestly, I feel bad for anyone that's going to deal with your shit after this night.