ADVENTURE Ch. 7 - Gibbed

bghvgjdh ----- Urist McVisionary --- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=379828
CommodoreJim - Drominus Hellcleave - http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=381991
Eltrotraw ---- Tombs the Gunman ---- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=376543
Deathfish64 -- Pikkupstix ---------- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=376612
Moonside ----- Charlotte Tesser ---- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=377170
Skeleton ----- Freddie ------------- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=381882





[03:11] <flibbyjibbits> hey whats everyones reflex and initiative rolls
[03:11] <Deathfish64> um
[03:11] <flibbyjibbits> i mean bonuses, not rolls
[03:11] <Moonside> Reflex +4, Initiative +4.
[03:11] <Moonside> Yay DEX!
[03:12] <Deathfish64> +2
[03:12] <Moonside> Anyway, this can't be nice.
[03:12] <Skeleton> +1 both
[03:12] <flibbyjibbits> nothing good ever prompts a reflex save does it
[03:12] <CommodoreJim> Uh me too? LY
[03:12] <CommodoreJim> *:Y
[03:12] <flibbyjibbits> yes
[03:12] <Deathfish64> Depends, do surprise orgies prompt reflex saves?
[03:13] <Skeleton> why can't anyone be trusted
[03:13] <CommodoreJim> +3 on both
[03:13] <flibbyjibbits> well none of it matters since 19 is in the crit range
[03:13] <Moonside> Shit.
[03:13] <flibbyjibbits> Gil managed to sneak a smaller crossbow in
[03:13] <Deathfish64> must be pretty small
[03:13] <Skeleton> !?????????????????
[03:13] <Deathfish64> (like his penis)
[03:13] <Moonside> I assume we can't stop him then?
[03:14] <flibbyjibbits> the king had less than 13 hp, which is what he hit for
[03:14] <CommodoreJim> Fuck!
[03:14] <Skeleton> Df did you do an appraisal check on Gil's penis?
[03:14] <Deathfish64> Shouldn't the damage be pretty low from a tiny crossbow?
[03:14] <Deathfish64> No, but he's a gnome
[03:14] <Moonside> Crits do that.
[03:14] <Deathfish64> come on
[03:14] <Skeleton> Haha
03:14] <flibbyjibbits> surprise round over, initiative is moons gil df jim sam, illusionist
[03:14] <Skeleton> Okay shit.
[03:14] <Skeleton> "Shit!"
[03:15] <Moonside> "WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOT?"
[03:15] <Deathfish64> "Golly!"
[03:15] <Skeleton> "What the hell, gnome!"
[03:15] <CommodoreJim> I shout something about an assassin and hold my axe at the ready
[03:15] <Skeleton> "Ohy sorry that probably sounded racist"
[03:15] <Deathfish64> AXE, AXE!
[03:15] <Skeleton> "I just forgot your name, sorry"
[03:15] <Skeleton> (I bet I look like a giant racist tool)
[03:15] <Deathfish64> "I don't think you should be apologizing to him."
[03:16] <Moonside> Anyway, who here is hostile towards me?
[03:16] <Moonside> And, well... the rest of the group, except Gl, fuck him.
[03:17] <flibbyjibbits> nobody knows whats even going on right now
[03:17] <CommodoreJim> Hall is in chaos, I assume
[03:17] <Moonside> Can I use stealth to hide myself in the confusion?
[03:17] <flibbyjibbits> you can assume this is about 2-3 seconds from when he took out the crossbow
[03:17] <flibbyjibbits> you can try
[03:17] <Moonside> I do that.
[03:18] <flibbyjibbits> roll is 9, +8, I dunno if you'd get a situational bonus here from the chaos or if its canceled out since everyone is looking in that direction
[03:19] <flibbyjibbits> I guess its his turn now if that was your move?
[03:19] <Moonside> Yeah.
[03:19] <Skeleton> :(   (
[03:19] <flibbyjibbits> he puts another shot at the King, 3 more damage, kings at -8
[03:20] <flibbyjibbits> perception, that L symbol is visible, glowing on his forehead and back of his hands
[03:21] <Moonside> DF's next.
[03:21] <Deathfish64> yeah
[03:21] <Deathfish64> thinking
[03:21] <Moonside> I'll sneak attack the shit out of the fucker next turn.
[03:21] <flibbyjibbits> if there is a next turn since theres that high level spellcaster illusionist guy acting last in the round
[03:21] <Deathfish64> I don't know if summoning is the best idea here but my magic is totally shitty
[03:22] <Moonside> We don't know the King's CON, huh?
[03:22] <flibbyjibbits> he had like 8 con
[03:22] <Moonside> Oh, then he's dead.
[03:22] <flibbyjibbits> I though -10 was dead?
[03:22] <Moonside> It's -(CON).
[03:22] <flibbyjibbits> oh
[03:22] <flibbyjibbits> damn then
[03:22] <Moonside> Er, let me check anyway.
[03:22] <Deathfish64> well, that kinda sucks
[03:23] <CommodoreJim> Fuuuuuuuck!
[03:23] <CommodoreJim> I'm a terrible guard!
[03:23] <flibbyjibbits> he probably wouldve gone down anyways since -1 fort save isnt gonna stabilize anyway
[03:23] <Moonside> Dead
[03:23] <Moonside> The character's hit points are reduced to a negative amount equal to his Constitution score, his Constitution drops to 0, or he is killed outright by a spell or effect. The character's soul leaves his body.
[03:24] <Deathfish64> What the fuck ever.  I go for a cast of Acid Splash at Gil
[03:25] <Deathfish64> http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/acid-splash shitty magic
[03:25] <flibbyjibbits> 3 damage
[03:25] <Moonside> Lol 1d3 damage.
[03:25] <Deathfish64> I'm a hero
[03:25] <flibbyjibbits> jims turn
[03:26] <Moonside> Jim, be a cool guy! We didn't know that he was planning this!
[03:26] <Deathfish64> It's literally the best I can do without having to wait a round
[03:26] <CommodoreJim> Okay so. First I should ask, should I bother asking for non-lethal actions so we have something to interrogate? Or should I just be like GOD SAVE THE KING and axe
[03:26] <flibbyjibbits> what would drominus hellcleave do
[03:26] <Skeleton> (That guy with the axe... looks like he'd love to kill me! No... maybe he could be my best friend... hmmm)
[03:27] <CommodoreJim> ("I'm a knight, not an executioner")
[03:27] <flibbyjibbits> mighty 8 wisdom score
[03:27] <CommodoreJim> So, non-lethal actions
[03:27] <Moonside> You needn't look twice at his name to know that, man.
[03:27] <Skeleton> Well you're not a paladin either
[03:27] <CommodoreJim> Hmm
[03:27] <CommodoreJim> And I do have orcblood
[03:27] <Skeleton> The king is DED
[03:27] <CommodoreJim> And this is a very chaotic situation...
[03:27] <Deathfish64> He is an Ex-King
[03:28] <flibbyjibbits> youre just doing routine watching a party, like usual, some short guy whips out a hand crossbow and pew pews down the king
[03:28] <CommodoreJim> I swing my greataxe at the gnome in a mighty cleave, with a roar of "FOR THE KING!"
[03:28] <flibbyjibbits> (20)
[03:28] <Deathfish64> noice
[03:28] <flibbyjibbits> critical confirmed
[03:29] <flibbyjibbits> 1d12+6 right
[03:29] <flibbyjibbits> and axes are 3x?
[03:29] <CommodoreJim> Lessee
[03:29] <CommodoreJim> Yeah
[03:29] <Deathfish64> holy shit
[03:29] <Moonside> Oh fuck.
[03:29] <CommodoreJim> ...is there anything left of him
[03:29] <flibbyjibbits> total of 34 damage when he only had 7 left
[03:29] <Deathfish64> (i helped guys)
[03:30] <Moonside> He turns into dust as you cleave him in half.
[03:30] <Deathfish64> gibbed
[03:30] <flibbyjibbits> this campaign uses dwarf fortress injury physics so he just went everywhere
[03:30] <Skeleton> I reel back my hand in preparation for Jolt but I see that Gil is dead I put my hands forward submissively
[03:30] <Moonside> Oh god guys I can't stop laughing
[03:30] <flibbyjibbits> also his chair is gone
[03:30] <Deathfish64> (note: he still had acid on him.  try not to touch his bits.)
[03:30] <CommodoreJim> I was assuming that he either gibbed or RAGDOLLED
[03:30] <Deathfish64> (until the round ends)
[03:30] <flibbyjibbits> the table doesnt look too well either
[03:31] <Moonside> Holy shit it hurts because I'm laughing so much
[03:31] <flibbyjibbits> you mortal kombatted him
[03:31] <Skeleton> (I sure hope that guy never decides to kill me)
[03:31] <Skeleton> (I should become his best friend)
[03:31] <CommodoreJim> I steady my breathing and stand upright, blood dripping off the axe blade, my pristine white and blue armor tainted with a red mist. "Hrm."
[03:31] <Moonside> I was sitting next to him, so some blood splatters onto my face.
[03:31] <Deathfish64> I quietly mumble "I helped..."
[03:31] <Skeleton> (He just shrugged it off like nothing!!!)
[03:32] <CommodoreJim> "...Somebody! The king!"
[03:32] <Skeleton> (Wow!)