The Earth is Round Twilight

>be anonymous
"…and because the shadows are different, that means that the Earth must be round."
>be trying to educate a poor lost soul
"In fact, because we know the exact distance from Ponyville to Manehatten we can use this to calculate the circumference of the entire Earth."
>you and Twilight have had lots of arguments before, and usually you just drop it. But thinking the Earths are flat? That's something you refuse to accept
"Which I've already done, it should be around 26,030 miles, give or take."
>Twilight looks from you to the blackboard several times.
>you think you might actually be getting through to her
>"That's stupid anon, I expected you to know better."
>you think you might actually be putting a knife through her
>of all the people to not understand basic geometry it's fucking book horse
"Why is it stupid? It makes perfect sense, I even showed my math!"
>you tap on the chalk board, trying to emphasize the math you put so much effort into
>"If the Earth is a sphere then why don't the ponies in Saddle Arabia fall off? Besides, the shadows are probably just the differences in geography."
>she walks up to you and puts a hoof on your shoulder
>"I know it's hard to be different anon, and not knowing the world around you can be scary, but making things up and going through all this, it can't be healthy."
>"Don't worry though, I promise to help you with this friendship problem after I come back from Canterlot."
>she then flies off to do whatever a princess does before you even get a word in there
>you stand there stunned for a few minutes
>you eventually sit down and bury your face in your hands
>you've been at it for three fucking weeks
>it's tiring
>you usually don't care what she believes, magic seems to be pretty good at replacing technology, even if it's a bit labor intensive
>you don't even mind all the arguments
>truth be told they can be pretty fun
>but you don't want her to spout out something so blatantly wrong, there are kids who look up to her
>but you're running out of ideas


>you don't know if there are many other ways to prove the earth is round
>she says the curvatures of timezones are "Celestia's will"
>apparently ponies have yet to circumnavigate the globe, with most of it being empty ocean with few islands in between
>you’re pretty sure dragons do it during their migrations, but ponies just think that they go through a portal somewhere and pop out the other side of the Earth
 >the shadow of the earth on the moon during an eclipse could work, but second worst princess moves the sun with so little consistency that you’d never be able to get a proper prediction
>unless someone's going to bring a camera onto the pone-ternational space station you're out of ideas
>inter-pony space station?
>whichever they decide, the Apollo missions are quite a ways off
>or would they call it the Celestia missions?
>enough with the puns, the point is that it'll be a long time before they put a pony on the moon
>…
>or is it?
>there's been a pony on the moon for the last millennia!
>Luna's seen it for herself and There’s no way Twilight would call Princess Luna a liar
>you don't know why you never thought of it before
>Twilight's even in Canterlot right now
>if Luna proves you right, she might just get bumped up to best princess
>there isn't a moment to lose!


>Canterlot is as busy as ever
>however being significantly taller than the rest of the population has its benefits
>you quickly navigate your way through the city and into the Canterlot Castle
>book horse refused to help you see Princess Luna after she found out this was about your
"inability to admit that you had lied and the consequences of those lies"
>literally worst princess
>but at least she held night court around this time
>it might be a few hours but you've got time to kill
>you finally find your way to the throne room and walk through the massive doors
>at the far end you see Princess Luna, sitting quietly in her throne
>she looks lonely
>it's kinda sad really, you've seen this place packed when Celestia hold court and it's packed wall to wall with ponies looking for an audience
>you begin walking towards her
>she bolts upright at the sound your footsteps echoing through the castle and immediately starts with the royal canterlot voice
>"Welcome thyself to the court of the… oh."
"Hello Princess Luna, how are you doing?"
>She looks a little disappointed, never the less she smiles politely
>"I am doing well, what business dost thou have here Anonymous the Human? Meeting my sister perhaps?"
"I've recently gotten very interested in astronomy and I was wondering if I could talk with the Princess of the night."
>her expression shifts from surprise, to disbelief before it finally settles on a large grin
>"I believe I would enjoy that, I'll have some refreshments brought to mine chambers."
>she stands from her throne and walks out, gesturing for you to follow
>you smile and follow her out of the throne room


>Be Princess Twilight Sparkle
>it's always nice to be able to catch up with princess Celestia like this
>especially with how stressful anonymous has been lately
>in the beginning he was just telling tall tales to make humans seem more interesting
>things like incredibly fast trains, impossibly massive structures and flying carts
>it's ridiculous really, there's no need-
>no, you need to stop thinking about anon
>you're here to relax, get away from your duties for today, and catch up with the princess
>you continue your walk through the castle, making your way to the guest room
>you're counting out the door numbers to your own room before you hear an echo of laughter further down the hall
>no…
>you follow the sound of the voices to a half open door
>peering through you can see Anon and Princess Luna sitting across from each other in some sort of lounge room
>"…So 60 something years later the first man on the moon takes a piece of the first airplane with him into space."
>"You humans art quite fond of weaving such wit into thine history."
>Anonymous is filling her head with his lies, and she's buying them!
>Princess Luna notices you lingering in the doorway
>"Twilight? What art thou doing, lingering in the hall? Join us and listen to Anonymous' tales, they art certainly something I think somepony such as thineself would enjoy."
>you walk through the door, glad that she had not accused you of spying
>working through your embarrassment you step into the room and can't help but angrily glare at anonymous
"I've heard the stories before, they're impossible to say the least. You need to stop lying Anon! This is getting really out of hand. What if Princess Luna went around repeating whatever you said, Celestia forbid somepony hurt themselves trying to actually MAKE some of the stuff you're talking about!"
>Anonymous looks like he's about ready to stand up and argue with you again, but you know how to shoot down every single argument he has, you came prepared


>Then Princess Luna stands up, looking very angry
>"I do not appreciate being treated as though I were a child Twilight. I am capable of discerning lies from truth. It would be wise to know thine place in such matters."
>ok maybe you weren't prepared for that
>but that doesn't mean you're wrong!
"Princess Luna it's all utter nonsense, I mean flying carts? Sound and light having a speed? And just the other day he spent hours telling me that the Earth is round!"
>Princess Luna furrows her brow at you
>"Art thou not aware that the Earth is round, Twilight?"
>you freeze in your tracks
>you look into her eyes and don't detect that she might be lying, instead you see that she looks almost worried for you
>Anon's really convinced her
>"Tis' common knowledge, is it not?"
>"Actually, I think most ponies agree with Twilight here. They think the earth is flat as a pancake."
>you glare at anonymous, he's not even trying to hide his smirk
"That's because it's what's taught in schools! There's no way the earth can be round, otherwise ponies would be falling off the edge of the world! You've been to the moon Princess, you can see from up there that it's flat can't you?"
>he must've done something to her, there's no way that one of the Princesses can be so easily tricked on their own
>after all, Celestia herself told you that-
>"How hast Tia allowed this? She was among those who proved such a thing. Perhaps I should speak with her about the education budget."
>your brain immediately stops working on arguments and counter arguments for anything they can say
>instead it's replaced by a single overarching thought that takes all of your brainpower to comprehend
"WHAT?!"
>Someone is lying, and it had better be Princess Luna


>you are anonymous, because Twilight is busy yelling at her oldest friend
>You and Luna have been standing outside Celestria's room for a while
>it's hard to make out what they're saying through the wall but you can get bits and pieces
>although it gets much easier to decipher as the conversation devolves into a shouting contest
>you want to go in and try to calm everyone down but Luna's says it's best that you don't interfere
>another shout from Twilight comes through the door
>"How can you say that? They deserve to know the truth!"
>normally you'd be celebrating such a victory
>but hearing a friendship get torn apart kinda kills the mood
>you let out a sigh, this wasn't really the plan
>you just thought that ponies were a bit behind technologically, or maybe Twilight was being unreasonable
>you didn't expect to find out Celestia considered science a legitimate threat to her rule
>you're torn from your bout of self pity as a bright purple light comes from the room behind you
>Luna opens the door to see a frustrated and ragged Celestia next to a scorch mark on the floor
>"T'would be wise to console the young Twilight whilst I speak with mine sister, she is probably still within the castle."
>Luna looks just determined and is probably more than a little pissed at Celestia
>you just nod your head and walking away, trying to figure out what you'll say to her


>you've been standing outside her door for a while
>you're still not entirely sure what you're supposed to do
>maybe you shouldn't talk to her
>she probably hates you, and she's got a ton of friends for this kind of stuff
>none of which are here
>you open the door and step inside and see Twilight on her bed, going through dozens of books at once
>it's obvious she's been crying from the way her fur sticks up on her face
>she also doesn't look very pleased to see you
>"Hello anon, come to rub it in that you were right all along?" she says between sniffles
>you sit down on the bed next to her
"I came to apologize, I didn't mean for this to happen."
>she lets out a sigh and leans into you
>"No anon I'm sorry. Even though I didn't believe you it was wrong to be so dismissive of your ideas."
>you look over the books she's got floating through the air and laying on the bed
>everything from books on history to philosophy to physics
>"She said it's easier this way, that if ponies ask fewer questions then they get in less trouble. That if ponies get curious then they begin to question her."
>holy shit that's way worse than you thought it was
>this is some dystopian dictator shit
"What do you think?"
>she closes the books and shows you the author
>"I think she's been lying to us for a couple centuries and ponies deserve to know the truth."
>she turns to you, determination in her eyes
>"Will you help me?"
>you smirk
"Twilight, I'd love nothing more."


"I don't know about this Twilight."
>Twilight groans
>"Come on anon, I had to pull a lot of strings to find this many likeminded ponies, you've got to get out there."
>that's just the problem, there's almost 200 ponies in there
>you peek through the makeshift curtains set up in the basement of the crystal castle
>It's hard to find people who think like you and Twilight, and it's even harder to gather them all in one place
>especially since you're pretty sure Celestia's gotten suspicious of us
>"Anon, you need to go now!"
>you gulp and take a step out past the curtains and onto the wooden stage
"H-hello everyone, I'm Anonymous and I'll be giving a lecture on truth, physical science, and the world around us."
>a pony coughs somewhere, as you run tests on Twilight's slide projector
"First, let's talk about the earth, this is a diagram of the planet. As you can see it's round, this is because the force that pulls us downward, called gravity, and ensures that we come back down when we jump actually pulls inward towards the center of the earth equally."
>you walk over to a table set up on the stage and grab a clay cube and squeeze
"Thus it forms a ball, any questions so far?" You say, presenting the clay, now a sphere
>One pony raises their hoof and asks a question
>"How do we know that you're right?"
>oh
>you probably should have included that part
"We know that the Earth is round because Shadows are different in the same time zones due to the curvature of the earth effecting the angle of the sunlight."
>Twilight cycles the slides to the pictures of the shadows you took in Manehatten a few weeks ago
>nice that she kept those
"Anymore questions?"
>everypony in the audience immediately raises their hands
>you smile, it's good that they're eager


"…And with that we concludes today's lecture. Remember, question everything you are told, you never know if it's a lie. Also, please tell us if you're followed or approached by the princess's secret police which may or may not exist."
>you step behind the curtains of the stage as ponies file out of the room
>as you take a seat Twilight runs and hugs you
>"That was wonderful Anon! I didn't even know gravity had an exact speed, and the part about air resistance was incredible!"
>She's been genuinely interested in everything you're doing, and has actively pushed you to share all your research
"Well, I've got to keep you interested too don't I?"
>together the two of you walk upstairs and into the kitchen where you have a nice lunch
>"I'm surprised by how many ponies showed up to this one, I can barely get anyone to show up on Thursdays."
>she looks almost sad, this was the first lecture you've done and it brought way more ponies than Twilight's lectures ever had
>you reach out a hand and pat her on the back
"Don't worry Twilight, once people realize how much of history is wrong they'll flock to your lessons."
>the two of you had been doing this for almost three months since her argument with Celestia
>so far it's been going pretty well
>if Celestia's secret police that may or may not exist shows up and arrests you on the spot you'd probably reached enough minds to start a small movement
"That reminds me, have you talked to Fluttershy about giving a Biology lesson?"
>she gives a sigh
>"I don't know if she even can, but if ponies want a lecture I'm sure we'll figure it out."
>eh
>you've seen her talk about animals to others
>she becomes a completely different person, you're sure she'll find how to do it
>finishing your lunch the two of you make your way to the makeshift lab in the library
>next lecture will be on the science of sound, and you'd like to get started early


>You are neither Twilight Sparkle or Anonymous the human
>instead you’re a Lemon Leaf, professional bird watcher
>you’re here in ponyville to take photos of the illusive… is it fruit bats?
>you open up your saddlebag and pull out a few documents
>yep, you’re here to photograph fruit bats
>from the balcony of the building you’re on you can clearly see Twilight’s castle
>it’s only a matter of time before the fruit bats come pouring out
>it’s been nearly three hours since all those pon-
>fruit bats walked in, they can’t possibly be in there for much longer
>diligently you scan the castle, ensuring that nopony escapes through any exits that you may have missed
>finally the front door opens and several pon-
>fruit bats walk out into the street
>that’s way more targets than you remember walking in
>you activate your walkie talkie and speak into the microphone
“Bubblegum Twist this is Lemon Leaf, I have visual on the fruit bats leaving through the front door, over.”
>you ready your camera and line up some good shots
>“I see them lemon, remember we’re going after muzzles and cutie marks, over.”
>you take as many shots as you can, but with so many of them moving all at once it’s hard to tell how many will be good enough
>Celestia will not be pleased


>be anonymous
>you’ve been at it for a few hours but you’ve hit a roadblock
>you’re presentation on sound is… Pretty sound
>no mistakes, you’ve figured out all the formulas you’ll need for calculating sound in different air densities and humidities
>you can easily enough prove that sound is vibration
>but you can’t really prove that it works in waves
>well you can, but you haven’t figured it out just yet
>these ponies trust you to not lie to them, but they’re very critical
>if you can’t back up what you say then they can be a bit dismissive
> after all, you encourage them to come up with their own theories which they vehemently defend
> you absentmindedly pluck the strings on your demonstrative guitar
“If I could show the strings vibrate in slow motion then I’ve got everything I need
>but slow-mo cameras are quite a ways off
>maybe Twilight could cast a spell?
>nah, she’s got plans with Rarity
>maybe there’s a way to Macgyver a stroboscope?
>probably not
>unless…


>you grab tape, some lengths of guitar strings, and some tools
>in the basement you find some spare barrel lids and some paints
>you immediately set to work, taping together wood and paper to form a cylinder
>nailing some spare wood together you’re able to make a sufficient stand for the device and a place to stretch the wire
>finally, you paint stripes on the cylinder and put the wires in place
>you spin the makeshift device and pluck the string
>now you can clearly see that the strings vibrate in waves
>you beam in pride
>sure it’s a grade school experiment but to the ponies it’s groundbreaking stuff
>“Anonymous are you down here?”
>Speaking of grade school
“Cherilee? It’s good to see you, what brings you to Twilight’s Castle?”
>she walks down the steps and joins you in the basement
>“Twilight said You might be willing to hold a special learning day for the foals, something about science experiments?”
>this is the first you’re hearing of it
>eh, at least Twilight didn’t promise anything
>“She said you’d be free this friday, and that you already had something in mind.”
>that fucking bitch
“Uh, yeah. I was doing research on…”
>your eyes dart around the room, frantically searching for anything that would be fun for children and not too blasphemous
>eventually you spy a few sketches for planes you’d drawn a while back
“Aerodynamics, I thought it might be… Fun?”
>Cherilee smile goes from polite to genuine delight
>“That’s wonderful, we’re in the middle of pegasus biology in class as well. I’m sure the class will appreciate some hands on study.”
>she keeps talking but you’re only half paying attention
>you’re going to have to teach kids about aerodynamics
>you fucking hate kids


>“wouldn’t it be nice to have a younger audience this time?.”
>you’re pretty pissed at Twilight
>“Come on anon, can you please show the kids something neat on Friday?”
>you just cross your arms and look away from her
>“you’ve met the Cutie Mark Crusaders, they’re not that bad are they?”
>you stare down the pleading purple pony princess
“Twilight, they've nearly gotten me killed more times that I can count.”
>“and they're apologized each and every time. There's really no reason for you to hold a grudge”
>you roll your eyes
>it’s not just the Cutie Mark Crusaders, kids in general are terrible
>they’re so much work to deal with and they’re gross
>you visited the Cakes not too long ago, every surface in that house felt like syrup
>their kids also somehow found a way to get honey in both of your ears without you noticing
>bees were making sweet tender love to the side of your head for a whole week
>you look back at Twilight, who’s still doing her puppy dog eyes
“sigh… fine, but only because I haven’t got the chance to show off my helicopter.”
>“Thanks anon, I really believe that this is going to help our cause.”
>you leave for your study to try and prepare a presentation
>if you see one drop of honey…


>you’re standing outside the door Ms. Cherilee’s classroom
>you can faintly hear her lecturing through the walls
>you don’t want to be here, but Twilight really wanted you to
>and if you can teach kids early then the future looks a little brighter
>Cherilee opens the door and waves you inside
>“Now class, remember to be kind and respectful. Go on anon.”
>you look around and try discern where to start
“Hello everypony, I’m Anonymous.”
>you drop the box on Cherilee’s desk and begin to unpack
“I’ve heard that you’ve been learning about flight, but can anyone tell me at what speed something falls?”
>you didn’t expect anyone to know that, but one hoof goes up
“Yes, Applebloom.”
>“if something falls it accelerates downward at 10 m/s^2, but that’s before you count air resistance.”
>...huh, you’re pretty sure you were the only one who knew that a few weeks ago
>and from the shocked expression from the other students and Cheerilee they didn’t know that until a few moments ago
“That’s correct Applebloom, how do you know that?”
>she seems to panic for a moment
>“uhhh, I… I watch apples fall all, a lot? I guess I kinda just figured out how gravity works.”
>what?
>you’re not entirely sure how she figured that out just by observation, but you continue anyway
>before you can say anything Cherilee cuts you off
>“That can’t be right anon, things fall because they’re heavier, air isn’t involved at all.”
>you turn to her and see that she’s silently pleading for you to stop
>she probably thinks you’re spreading misinformation


>you reach into your box and pull out two balls
“It’s true, if I were to drop these two balls with the same surface area they’d fall at the same speed despite one being lead,”
>you drop the ball and it hits the floor with a resounding thud
“And the other being wood.”
>you drop the other ball and it hits the ground with a slight bounce
>before Cherilee can say something in protest you whisper to her
“Please, Twilight and I have been working on this for a while and we’re sure it’s true. I can drop these off the roof and prove it right now.”
>she spends a long time staring at you, trying to discern any hint of dishonesty
>eventually she gives up and sighs
>“Princess Twilight is absolutely sure?”
>you nod affirmingly
>“A princess would never lie to us, and if she trusts you, then go ahead.”
>a smile creeps over your face
“who wants to help me drop these off the roof?”
>this time you’re met with a few more hooves in the air.


“ok, now is everyone paying attention?”
>all the little school kids are gathered around the base of the school as you and a few other students sit on the roof
“We’re dropping the balls now.”
>you turn to the kids with you and do a quick count down
>they drop the balls and, as predicted, both hit the ground at the same time
>getting down off the roof you’re met with a multitude of questions that you answer as best as you can
>before you can get back inside and start the next experiment the bell rings and the kids rush inside before quickly coming out again with bagged lunches and toys
>“Alright class, after recess Anon will have a few more fun science facts to show us.”
>you head inside and prepare to show off a couple toys you’ve built for demonstrations
>“I was always taught that things fall because they’re heavier, it’s hard to believe that I’d been wrong for so long.”
“Yeah, well Twilight and I have been making strides in science recently, mostly physics.”
>she looks at you inquisitively
>“and you decide to share it with a class of foals? I haven’t heard anything related to this in the papers.”
>you guess she’s right
>most of the stuff that you’ve learned is shared between small groups of likeminded ponies
>you’ve just kinda assumed that Celestia’s secret police that may or may not exist would’ve stopped you, but you’re pretty sure they don’t exist at this point
>maybe you can hit up a newspaper and actually start stirring up some trouble
“That’s a good idea Cherilee, I’ll try to get Twilight to get our theories out there.”
>you busy yourselves with small talk until the bell rings and the students return from their recess
>you once again take to the front of the room and resume teaching


“...And when we let go, the rubber band forces the propellers to move, giving us flight.”
>you release the wooden helicopter and watch it fly over the classroom as some students duck  and others reach to catch it
>during the mad scramble for the toy the bell rings and students start to file out
>you thank Cherilee for the opportunity and head outside as well
>today wasn’t half bad
>turns out kids ask some pretty clever questions
>the hands on stuff was also fun too
>you begin your walk home when you notice Applebloom sitting on the corner, alone
>strange, she usually has the other two mini-me’s with her
“Hey Applebloom, how are you doing.”
>“Oh, hi Anon. I was just waiting for my sister to pick me up.”
“You were really smart back there, I thought for a second you might get up and start teaching me something.”
>she giggles like… well a schoolgirl
“Where’d you learn all that? I thought it’d be entirely new to you.”
>she stops laughing and stutters her way through a sentence
>“I...uh… it’s common knowledge y’know? the kinda stuff you just overhear your family talking about.”
>it’s certainly not common knowledge, and you don’t remember any of the apples showing up for a lecture
“I don’t think so Applebloom, Twilight and I have only just discovered gravity…”
>you pause for a second
>she knew a whole lot about gravity
“... a term you used throughout the class despite the fact that we coined it not two weeks ago.”
>she lets out a defeated sigh


>“Alright, you got me, we were trying to help a classmate find his cutie mark in science, and thought visiting Twilight would help. Then we stumbled into your secret meeting.”
>she looks at you with sad, pleading eyes
>“I stayed the whole time and snuck into a few more. I’m sorry Anon, please don’t tell Applejack I was sneaking into your club.”
>my god those puppydog eyes
>if Twilight was bad, teary Applebloom is cataclysmic
“It’s not a secret club Applebloom, and I’d be more than happy to have you if you want to show up.”
>she noticeably brightens up and gives you a beaming smile
>“Why hey there Anon, what are you doing here?”
“Hi Applejack, I just helped Cheerilee with a special lesson, and I have to say Applebloom is a smart cookie.”
>she pulls her sister into a hug
>“That so? Well, I’m glad to hear it.”
“Yeah, I was actually thinking she could come to one of my lectures, I hold them every other week, and I think she could learn a lot. She might even be able to contribute after a while.”
>Applebloom gets excited and looks to her sister for approval
>“That sounds great! Can I go Applejack? Can I please?”
>Applejack thinks for a moment
>“I suppose she can, so long as you get your chores done first.”
>Applebloom excitedly jumps in glee
>you’re glad, she’s a smart kid with a lot of potential


“But Applejack, you said she could come to the next lecture this isn’t fair!”
>she lets out a sigh
>“I said she could go if she finished her chores, with applebucking season comin’ up there’s a whole heap of chores to get through.”
>she starts hitching herself to a cart full of apples
>“if you want to help this might go a bit faster, you know how to plow a field?”
>you think about it for a moment
>you’ve got time, why not?
“No, but it can’t be that hard to drive a tractor can it?”
>Applejack laughs
>“Those things? We couldn’t afford one if we sold the farm, and even if  we could getting a unicorn to refuel them costs a fortune.”
>oh yeah, you forgot
>everything runs on unicorn juice, and it’s terrible
“Wait, why not have Twilight refuel them? She’s a princess, it can’t be too hard.”
“And void the warranty? Those things break down faster than Fluttershy at a butcher, trust me anon, I’ve thought this through. It’s not a good idea.”
>well, guess you’ll need to find another way to help
>for a moment you consider ripping your shirt off and plowing the field yourself, thus showing off your physique, strength, and ability to make innuendos
>but you decide against it, that general is dead
>instead you apply your superior mind to the problem
>you could make a diesel engine easily enough, and building everything else can’t be that difficult
>not to mention you could make it way more reliable than the magic fueled engines they use for everything
>as you mentally draw up plans a single thought surfaces to the forefront of your brain
>why haven’t you already done this?
>science doesn’t have much value if you don’t apply it, and you haven’t invited many inventors to the lectures either
>you’ll be sure to remedy that
>but for now you need to head back to the castle and get started


>when you finally get back to the castle you’ve already got a prototype drafted in your head
>stepping inside you immediately go to your study and start transferring your plans to paper
>half way through a small horse walks in hovering several books in front of her
>“Hey anon, how’d it go? Is Applebloom going to make it to the next lecture?”
“Nah, not until I revolutionize the farming industry.”
>Twilight chuckles to herself
“That’s a new countryism, what did she mean by that?”
“What? No, I’m making tractors effective and affordable. While I’m at it I thought I might as well create some large scale irrigation systems.”
>she closes her books, her interest piqued
>“That’s… Pretty great, imagine what we could do if there was a tractor on every farm in equestria. Do you want any help?”
“Absolutely, help me with the efficiency calculations, I want that engine running in the 90% ranges at least.”
>she immediately picks up a pen and gets to work
>now, would using an irrigation system be better than pegasi?
>probably a mixture of both could work well
>the both of you work tirelessly into the night to get some good drafts of the blueprints
>Twilight eventually goes off to send some letters about ordering parts you’d need
>a lot of it is stuff you’d have to make yourself but you’ll figure it out
>things like that have never really stopped you before


“I said hold it steady Twilight!”
>“I’m trying Anon, this things heavy.”
>“He said hold it steady Twilight!”
>“SHUT UP AND LET ME CAST.”
>the purple aura stops it’s rhythmic bobbing and you resume your work on the tractor
>it’s been going well, Applebloom wasn’t able to attend your last few lectures, but she made time to help you with the tractor
“You can set her down now Twilight.”
>she roughly drops it as you crawl out from under the tractor, putting the shock absorbers to the test
>you should’ve built a carjack first, it might’ve been damaged
>eh, if it can’t survive a little bit of Twilight then it’s not fit for farmwork
>“how much more do we need to add Anon? The blueprints look just about right.”
>you take a step back and look at the machine
>it’s coming along nicely, but you’re still missing something...
“The seating is the last part, wanna help?”
>“Sure!”
>you walk over to the corner of the room and grab the cushions you need
>the two of you attach them easily enough
>stepping back you admire your work
>you doubt Ford could make something like this in two and a half weeks
>now that you think about it, you’re pretty sure that this is a one of a kind vehicle in Equestria
>diesel engine, power steering, shock absorbers, all completely new concepts
>honestly you’re surprised you can get it so cheap
>you owe it to your competitors incompetence and the fact that they shove magic gems into everything
>you look down and see Applebloom staring at it in amazement
>she’s been working hard, she deserves a reward
“Hey Applebloom, wanna be the first pony to drive the most advanced vehicle in equestria?”
>she looks up to you, first in disbelief then wearing widest smile you’ve ever seen


>be Princess Celestia
>be reading through reports from your friendship police in ponyville
>you’re starting to get worried
>at first you thought that Twilight and Anonymous wouldn’t be able to gain any traction, that your ponies wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss what you’ve taught them
>but Twilight had reached just the right individuals, and the situation is spiralling out of control
>they might make a move soon
>you know they’re after the crown, Anon would make a perfect figure head
>he has less ties to you than Twilight, a small following, he’s fairly intelligent with a fresh new perspective
>not to mention he’s going around helping farmers and school fillies
>ponies love it when you help farmers and school fillies!
>there’s no doubt he’s trying to gain popularity and support
>if he sells those inventions of his then he’ll even have the bits to accomplish this
>the worst part is you’re running out of allies
>Cadence and Shining Armor would no doubt side with Twilight and her little human
>Luna’s yet to come around to the thought of withholding information
>she doesn’t understand the threat that informed ponies can become
>you may need to take action
>no, you’ve hesitated for too long hoping that this problem will solve itself
>you need to get your hooves dirty
>you leave your chambers and march your way through the castle


>Anon thinks he can paint you the villain
>that he can tell ponies you’re the big bad princess who’s been lying to everypony
>you’ve never been the villain, for the last few millennia you’ve done everything in your power to help your ponies
>he has the audacity to turn your greatest pupil against you
>you suppose it’s your fault, putting her in charge of anon
>but it’s his corrupting influence that’s turned everypony against you
>you eventually make your way to an unused wing of the castle
>you pass by ancient war rooms and dusty armories
>eventually you make your way to a door at the very end of the hall and push your way inside to the friendship police headquarters
>you look around and see dozens of ponies hard at work
>some of the most loyal ponies you can find
>most didn’t even care about the bits or the benefits, they just want to work under you
>you’re glad to say they’ve rarely had much work to do, and as a result the room show some signs of disuse
>but these past few month have been very busy for them
>“Princess, how may I help you?”
“Almond Mist, I need you to further increase recruitment. I’m also ordering an arrest and an off the records sabotage operation.”
>the entire room turns their attention to you
>it’s probably been close to eighty years since you’ve had any real assignments beyond spying on ponies
>“Certainly Princess, what are our targets?”
“Anonymous, I need him arrested for something that’ll get him put away for a long time, preferably something violent.”
>a smile creeps onto her face, pleased to finally be serving her princess
>“Consider it done, and as for the sabotage operation?”
>you pause for a moment
>this has to be completely off the records, there’ll be no way to reimburse the ponies you hurt without claiming responsibility
>but it must be done
“Are you aware of what a tractor looks like?”


>“Thank you Anon, I don’t think we’d be able to afford new oven a without your help.”
“Don’t mention it Ms Cake, you paid me in full and I really don’t mind helping out a friend.”
>“But it cost so little, I’d hate to cheat you when you’re being so kind.”
>you reassure her that it cost almost nothing to build and told her to contact you for repairs before leaving
>you’ve been helping ponies on the side for nearly a month now
>ever since you’d given that tractor to the apples you’ve been noticing how many things are run by unicorn power
>those ovens were inefficient in the extreme and they were half baking every other cake
>you’ve made two other tractors, a set of ovens, a sewing machine for Rarity, and some proper irrigation beyond waiting for it to rain then grabbing a pegasus
>it means you’ve gotten a little more public with your lectures and ideas, but it’s alright
>there were some ponies angry about the things you’re teaching at the school, but Twilight calmed them down and explained everything
>ponies were strangely accepting once you proved it to them
>you expected a lot of resistance but they seem to be the ‘seeing is believing’ type
>you make it to the castle and go to your room for some well deserved rest
“Holy shit!”
>the place is trashed, the bed is lying on it’s side, your window’s been broken
>to top it off your sheets are covered in blood
“Oh god, Twilight?! Spike?! where are you guys?”
>they come running to the room
>“Where here anon, what’s wro- oh Celestia what happened here!?”
>spike walks in behind her, equally surprised
“I don’t know, I thought maybe something happened to one of you. What do we do?”
>“I’ll stay here and try to figure out what happened. You get the police and hurry, somepony might be hurt.”
>you immediately run downstairs and open the door
>in front of you is an officer midway through knocking on your door
>huh, fast response time


>be Almond Mist
“That’s him officer! He’s the one who attacked me!”
>there’s still some glass in your leg, but you’ll be fine
>“Sir, you need to come with us.”
>you jumped through the window at an odd angle and you’re a bit bloodier than you wanted, but all the more convincing
>Anon just stands there, stunned
>“w-what? What’s going on?”
>you’d much rather have been the officer and take him down a peg, but a damsel in distress paints an even worse picture
>“he’s got a knife!”
>suddenly dozens of police ponies fire off stunning spells at anon, launching him backwards into the house
>you quickly cast a spell and teleport a meat cleaver you prepared into his hand, as he slumps against the wall unconscious
>as your police drag him out by his arms you make sure to start sobbing extra loud for the ponies who stopped to watch the spectacle
>there’s a lot of onlookers
>you’d normally not like the attention, but the faster the rumors spread the better
>a couple ponies come and take you to an ambulance
>as they stitch a gash in your leg you try to catch bits and pieces from nearby conversations
>“was that anon?”
>“I think he tried to kidnap that mare…”
>“...never really trusted that alien...”
>you smile
>it’ll be a while before you walk again, but you’d pay any price for your princess


>be Anonymous
>be waking up from the worst night sleep you’ve ever had
>you get out of bed and find yourself in a sparse prison with little more than a bed and a toilet
>both of them way too small for a human
>your head feels like someone tried to put it through a juicer
>you sit down on the bed as it creaks underneath you
>it all happened so fast
because my pacing is shit
>you try to remember exactly what happened and go over everything in detail
>you’d just helped the Cakes upgrade some of their baking ovens
>you then walked home and found a murder scene in your room
>Twilight told you to go get the cops, then you were accused of… something
>and now you’re here
>well first off it wasn’t murder, that mare said you attacked her but she looked very much alive
>so what happened in your room was what?
>it had to be some sort of mistake, there’s no way you kidnapped someone right?
>well, there are ways
>you could’ve been mind controlled, but you have no idea who’d do that or why
>Twilight would’ve noticed you acting strange, unless this mysterious culprit just gave orders and you filled them out
>maybe you did have a reason then you got mind wiped by something?
>again, you haven’t a clue why you’d do that or who would mind wipe you
>it’s possible though
>there has to be a way to test this empirically, some sort of experiment
>you’re head starts to hurt again but you push through the pain
>ok, how would you go about kidnapping someone? if it’s different from what happened then you didn’t do it
>well it’d be premeditated, you’re not the kind of person to act impulsively like that
>you’d take them into the basement rather than your room
>why was she in your bedroom then?
>ponies aren’t for sexual and they never will be, so there’s no reason for them to be in the bedroom
>even if they were you’d use one of the guest bedrooms in the west wing
>no windows and not immediately connected to you
>meanwhile your room has a view of Ponyville square and doesn’t even have a locking door
>it’s almost as if you wanted to get caught
>...
>it was a setup
>if it wasn’t you then she must’ve been put there where she can easily escape and get you arrested
>she was probably in on it too
“That bitch!”
>you start to shake in rage but your headache returns and forces you to calm down
>after a few minutes you’re thinking clearly again
>it’s not fair to accuse her, she obviously got her ass kicked by something
>and memory altering spells aren’t too difficult, someone could have tricked her into thinking you were the culprit
>well if it isn’t her then who set you up?
>the cops seemed a bit too trigger happy with taking you down, so they’re probably in on it
>but you’re not some sort of crime lord, they can’t have masterminded this
>who has a vested interest in stopping what you’re doing?
>tractor companies?
>nah, they’re too busy competing with each other
>Celestia probably isn’t too pleased with you trying to educate her populace, and honestly you’ve been working under the assumption that she’s acting against you
>she’s also the type to nip things at the bud, when nothing happened you just assumed she couldn't do anything or didn’t really care
>you walk over to a small window near the top of the room and peer through the bars
>yep, it’s Canterlot
>so, unless tractor companies have bought off literally every cop from Ponyville to Canterlot this is Celestia’s fault


>you sit back down and sigh
“Well shit.”
>why?
>Twilight told you why, Celestia wants stupid ponies so that they’re easier to control
>why did she wait so long to get to you?
>maybe her secret police, which you’re now fairly certain exist, are incompetent
>nah, it’s more likely she tried to talk it out with Twilight
>you guess she ran out of options
>so she had you accused of rape
>which gets you in jail for ten years minimum, and also ruins your reputation
>well, at least Twilight will be able to keep spreading the truth
>until she steps on some toes and gets accused of the same thing
>you sit down and think
>you go through scenarios and ways to get out of this in your head, each one gets shot down by Celestia or her goons
>you can feel your frustration boiling
“Celestia you fucking cunt.”
>“I know right? Shame we’re the only ones who seem to notice.”
>you look in the direction of the voice and see the toilet across the room
>out of the toilet snakes a long and familiar body
>one you recognize from the few times you’ve met
“Hello Discord.”


>“So good to see you Anonymous, how are you?”
>you hesitate for a moment
>discord is nice enough but Twilight’s warned you about his mischievous side
“I’m fine, what brings you here?”
>he pulls out a harmonica and starts playing a tune
>somehow he holds a conversation at the same time
>“I’ve come as a concerned friend, it’s not everyday one of Twilight’s bunch gets tossed behind bars.”
>“Yes well, Celestia doesn’t want me on the streets and had me arrested under false pretenses.”
>you answer warily, trying not to give away why or the charges against you
>he puts down the harmonica
>“So I heard. I’ve got to hand it to you Anonymous, I haven’t seen Celestia this peeved in centuries. Not to mention how tense things are getting between the princesses, it all adds up to a delectable bit of chaos. Thanks for that.”
>is he complimenting you?
>you’re not entirely sure but you’d rather not have a second god after your throat
“You’re welcome.”
>you pause for a moment
“And if you want to spread a bit more chaos by maybe freeing a certain convict, let me know.”
>his face stretches into an unnatural and eerie smile
>“Thanks for the offer but no, your friend Applebloom already made a similar offer, one I couldn’t refuse.”
>Applebloom?
>oh no…
“Please don’t tell me that-”
>“sorry Anon, she was quite adamant about it, and I couldn’t refuse such a sweet filly so here I am ensuring all the guards are… indesposed.”
He points to a pony sized stack of pancakes outside your cell
>“but it won’t be like that for long, pretty soon it’ll wear off and there’ll be ponies swarming poor Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. Do you think they’ll be tried as minors or they’ll be sent straight to prison?”
>if Celestia made you angry Discord is gonna make you pop blood vessel
“You said you’d help them and now you’re leaving them to the wolves?”
>he throws his hands up defensively
>“They asked for a favor and that’s as much time as a favor will get them. But if someone were willing to make a deal I could buy you all a little extra time.”
>he extends his hand towards you
>you eye him suspiciously
“What do you want?”
>“We can work out the terms later, something tells me your friends are running out of time.”
>you look over and see the stack of pancakes shake violently
>damn, you don’t want to walk into a deal without knowing what you owe
>but Applebloom and her crusaders could be put away for a long time if Celestia has anything to say about it
>you reach for discord’s hand


“Can’t you go any faster Sweetie Belle?”
>“Hey, I’m trying as hard as I can, we were only cat burglars for a day you know.”
>you hear the click of the tumblers sliding into place and open the door
>you open up the map and find your position
“This way girls!”
>it’s been rough, but not much can stand in the way of the Cutie Mark Crusaders
>you pass by various fruits and vegetables about twice your size
>Discord helped too
>you didn’t want to get his help but you overheard Twilight say something about him not having a chance
>you know he’s innocent, he spent most of the day helping the cakes with their oven
>and he spent less than five minutes in the castle before all the police arrive and make a huge scene?
>Twilight hasn’t even been questioned, there’s  no doubt this is just an attack on his character
>you continue to pass by corridors filled with dozens of empty cells before you get to the very end
>you take a sharp turn into the last hallway and sprint to the end
>you pass by a pony sized stack of pancakes and turn to see Anon and Discord in the last cell
>“Pleasure doing business with you Anon.”
>Discord lets out a cackle as he flies through the window of Anon’s cell and out of the castle
>what’s he doing here? It doesn’t matter, you’re here for anon
>you swipe the key to his cell off of the giant pancakes and open the gate


>you open the heavy door and anon steps out of his cell
>“Girls!”
>he wraps all three of you in a massive hug
>“I’m so glad to see you’re all right.”
>he sets you down and tries to put on his serious face
“This was a really stupid idea, what if you got caught or worse?”
>you roll your eyes
“You can reprimand us later, for now let's get you out of here.”
>you grab his hoof in your mouth and pull him towards the exit
>you make your way through the dungeon with Anon in tow
>you reach the castle exit and make a sprint through the gate, passing giant fruit and candies on your way
>you are Celestia once again
>things are going well
>you’re currently sitting in the comfort of your personal reading the report from your most loyal ponies
>it seems everything went fairly well
>anon was arrested without a hitch and the machines he gave out were damaged beyond repair
>rumors are already spreading about anon and the incident
>on top of it all you were able to make several other arrests by pulling names anon’s personal notes you “recovered” from the crime scene
>you don’t like lying, but the resounding success of your operation fills you with glee
>you continue to look through the notes
>surprisingly there’s no plans for weapons among his many blueprints
>it’s mostly just windmills, flying machines, and other equally useless plans
>it doesn’t make for a very good revolution
>you think on why he wouldn’t even have plans for a fight when there’s a loud knocking on your door
“Come in.”
>the door opens and Luna storms in angrily
>oh boy
>“Sister, what is this I hear about Anonymous’s detainment?”
>she shows you the sunday paper has Anonymous being carried away on the front cover
>above it the headline “Princess Twilight’s gentleman caller arrested.”
>you giggle at the title of the article
>you’d love to hear Twilight try to explain that
>“Is this a laughing matter Celestia?”
>you stop giggling and try to act more serious
“I’m sorry Luna, but as for Anonymous…”
>you were bound to have this conversation at some point
>you practiced with Twilight in mind but you can start with Luna
“Unfortunately, it would seem that our friend was arrested on the charges of kidnapping and attempted murder.”
>you suppress a grin and can’t help to rub it in to nopony in particular
“I suppose he wasn't the paragon of learning we give him credit for.”
>“Any particular reason that thou- that you had him brought here?”
>wow, she’s gotten way better adjusted to the new language
>you’d be proud if she wasn’t busy questioning you
“He was is a friend of Twilight and the Royal Sisters, that affords some privileges and the best lawyers in Canterlot.”
>she falters for a moment
>“Ah… Well, what about the charges? Despite what the press believes you and I both know Anonymous isn’t interested in ponies.”
>he  isn’t? That’s news to you
“I can’t just waive the charges against him, they’ll have to go through the courts like every other criminal charge.”
>this time there’s an even longer pause as she tried to formulate another question
>she’s down to her very last card, you can feel it
>she then puts on a determined face and opens shows you a picture from the newspaper
>“who is this pony and why have I, on many dark nights, seen her stalk the halls of the castle?”
>you look closely at the picture and see a badly injured Almond Mist
>...
>buck


>you panic a little
>only on the inside, centuries of Yakyakistan negotiations taught you how to keep calm under pressure
“I don’t own the castle staff, if she wants to visit Ponyville she may.”
>you look Luna in the eye, careful not to show any signs that you might be lying
>she meets your eyes with an intense stare
>she doesn’t look like she believes you
>“Thou art not speaking truthfully.”
>you were never able to lie to her, she knows you too well
>but you know her just as well
“And you’ve reverted back to Old Equine, I thought you made more progress than that.”
>Luna gets frustrated and looks about ready to chew you out
>“THOU ART AWARE THAT-”
>“Ahem, I’ve been trying, and I won’t let you change the subject so easily. Why did you have Anonymous arrested?”
>you sigh
>no use trying to avoid it now
“He’s dangerous Luna, he’s been garnering too much support. If I were to let this continue he would’ve made a bid for power sooner rather than later.”
>“you do not know him Celestia, all he wants is to learn and teach in turn.”
>she doesn’t understand
>she’s been gone too long to understand
“I know others like him, there’s always ponies who think they can gain power with the moral high ground, they threaten the safety I’ve given my ponies.”
>Luna seems to calm down a little
>“That may be, but you cannot have him arrested for a crime he didn’t commit. Are you really protecting these ponies if they are to fear you because of this?”


“They’re not afraid Luna, they just need to be reminded that I know what’s best. If it takes the imprisonment of a certain human to put down whatever dangerous ideals he spread then so be it.”
>Luna’s calmed down, but she still looks displeased
>“So that’s why you plan on murdering the only human in existence? So that he can be an example?”
>murder?
“I don’t want to kill him, he’s currently locked up in pone-tonamo Bay(sement). The dungeon underneath us is nigh impenetrable. Neither of us could get in if we weren’t wanted, and neither could Twilight.”
>Luna opens her mouth to respond before laughter makes it's way inside through the windows
>a laughter that's all too familiar
>walking over to your balcony you can hear it getting louder and clearer
>you peer outside to see utter chaos as giant confectionaries dance to some unheard tune
>beavers the size of walnuts rain down around you, each of them wearing two piece suits and worrying about sending in their TPS reports
>the watermelons from your garden appear to be starting turf wars over fertilizer
>through it all you see Discord cackling madly flying directly away from pone-tonamo Bay
>you only know one reason he laughs so loud
>it’s the kind of laugh he makes when he’s done something for no reason other than it would be a pain in your flank