deadpool2 e

0
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
INDOXXI
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1
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:29,000
Cleaned, corrected, missing dialog
dashes added and some timings improved by Tronar

2
00:02:13,617 --> 00:02:15,953
Fuck Wolverine.

3
00:02:17,079 --> 00:02:19,665
First, he rides my coattails
with the R rating.

4
00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:23,835
Then the hairy motherfucker
ups the ante by dying.

5
00:02:24,253 --> 00:02:25,963
What a dick.

6
00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:28,257
Well, guess what, Wolvie?

7
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,634
I'm dying in this one, too.

8
00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:36,640
To understand
why I took a cat-nap

9
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,809
on 1,200 gallons
of high-test fuel...

10
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,185
I need to take you back

11
00:02:40,269 --> 00:02:42,604
to the dewy slopes
of six weeks ago.

12
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:43,981
I'd gone international,

13
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,024
taking out mass murderers,
gangsters,

14
00:02:46,108 --> 00:02:47,484
unspeakable monsters.

15
00:02:47,859 --> 00:02:50,571
People nobody would touch.
Except me.

16
00:02:50,821 --> 00:02:52,739
I'm gonna touch them all over.

17
00:02:56,451 --> 00:02:58,328
Hey, it's Gail calling.

18
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,496
Love the shiny suit.

19
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,581
Really brings out

20
00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:02,207
the sex trafficker in your eyes.

21
00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:04,459
Whatever they're paying,
I'll double it.

22
00:03:04,626 --> 00:03:07,671
I don't
speak Cantonese, Mister...

23
00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:10,716
Well, I'm not even gonna
attempt that.

24
00:03:10,799 --> 00:03:13,427
But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so...

25
00:03:13,552 --> 00:03:15,596
Where is the library?

26
00:03:15,721 --> 00:03:17,723
Which literally
translates to...

27
00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:21,143
I don't bargain,
pumpkin fucker.

28
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,031
Oh. Oh, this isn't Gilbert's.

29
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,324
I am so sorry.

30
00:03:35,407 --> 00:03:37,087
I thought this was
an anal-bleaching party.

31
00:03:59,598 --> 00:04:01,058
Don't worry.
You're not going to die.

32
00:04:01,516 --> 00:04:03,560
Although these will kill you.

33
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:04,645
Hit it, Dolly.

34
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,541
I'm merely
a vessel for the Lord.

35
00:04:37,803 --> 00:04:40,389
Taking the hands out
of the guns of the criminals!

36
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:50,440
Whoo! Do not go in there!

37
00:04:57,155 --> 00:04:59,241
Let's see
Captain America do that.

38
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:09,710
Too exotic?

39
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,400
I don't bargain.

40
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:34,795
Oh, God! Oh, God,
time out! Time out!

41
00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:38,381
Cut. I've got bad guy blood,
right in my open eye.

42
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:40,217
Oh, that's so gross.

43
00:06:41,593 --> 00:06:42,636
Fuck.

44
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,712
Looks like you left
a little landing strip there.

45
00:06:45,722 --> 00:06:46,765
I like it.

46
00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:53,522
Oh, man!

47
00:06:57,859 --> 00:06:59,778
My world tour
brought me home

48
00:06:59,861 --> 00:07:02,197
to this guy,
Sergei Valishnikov.

49
00:07:02,364 --> 00:07:03,824
But we'll get to him
in a moment.

50
00:07:03,907 --> 00:07:05,267
'Cause I know
what you're thinking.

51
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:08,119
"I'm so glad
I left the kiddos at home."

52
00:07:08,203 --> 00:07:09,454
But that's where
you'd be wrong.

53
00:07:09,538 --> 00:07:12,582
That babysitter of yours
is high as fuck right now...

54
00:07:12,707 --> 00:07:16,962
and, believe it or not,
Deadpool 2 is a family film.

55
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,088
True story.

56
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:22,050
And every good family film
starts with a vicious murder.

57
00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:25,178
Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.

58
00:07:25,262 --> 00:07:28,515
Holy shit pickles!
That guy's on fire.

59
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:31,476
That's not CGI, folks.
He's actually on fire.

60
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,896
Yeah. You know I get paid
to take out bad guys, right?

61
00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:36,064
But this guy?

62
00:07:36,147 --> 00:07:38,233
He was
one of the worst of 'em.

63
00:07:40,902 --> 00:07:42,404
Hurry up and open
this fucking door,

64
00:07:42,487 --> 00:07:43,767
and let's kill
this motherfucker!

65
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,330
Ugh. So gross.

66
00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:55,166
A panic room? Really?

67
00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:57,836
Can you come out?

68
00:07:57,919 --> 00:08:01,006
I really have to go.
It's my anniversary.

69
00:08:06,928 --> 00:08:08,221
Over and
over, I hear people say,

70
00:08:08,305 --> 00:08:09,785
"I just don't have
enough confidence."

71
00:08:09,848 --> 00:08:12,017
Listen, confidence is not
something you have.

72
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,351
It's something you create.

73
00:08:13,435 --> 00:08:15,437
And you can create it
at any moment in time.

74
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,230
A sense of confidence
is nothing

75
00:08:17,314 --> 00:08:18,680
but a sense of power
within yourself...

76
00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:20,640
a sense of certainty that
you can pull something off.

77
00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:22,694
Start the fucking car!

78
00:08:22,777 --> 00:08:23,862
Dopinder!

79
00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:25,488
Start the fucking car!

80
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,495
Shoot that motherfucker!
Shoot him!

81
00:08:32,704 --> 00:08:34,204
- Whoo!
- Oh, I shit my pants.

82
00:08:34,289 --> 00:08:36,625
Actually, that may
have been me.

83
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:37,918
Oh, mission accomplished?

84
00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:40,086
Oh, in a George W.
sort of way.

85
00:08:40,170 --> 00:08:41,838
Fucker can't stay
in a panic room forever.

86
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,340
Oh, you're living
the dreams, DP.

87
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,550
It has been
quite the run, Dopinder,

88
00:08:45,634 --> 00:08:46,843
and who' da thought'?

89
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,970
Now I'm talked about
in the same sentence as Jesus.

90
00:08:49,471 --> 00:08:51,306
Passion of the Christ,
then me.

91
00:08:51,389 --> 00:08:52,599
At least domestically.

92
00:08:52,682 --> 00:08:53,850
We beat them overseas,

93
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,894
where there's no such thing
as religion.

94
00:08:55,977 --> 00:08:58,146
I do want to live
the dreams, Pool Boy.

95
00:08:58,229 --> 00:09:00,523
Taxiing is not as sexy
as it looks.

96
00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:02,399
- I want to fill my...
- Pockets?

97
00:09:02,484 --> 00:09:05,654
What's your poison?
A little, uh, cokey cokey?

98
00:09:05,737 --> 00:09:07,030
Can't maintain an erection

99
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,531
without buying shoes online?

100
00:09:08,698 --> 00:09:10,617
I've never experienced
that last one.

101
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:11,910
Talk to me, Goose.

102
00:09:11,993 --> 00:09:14,788
I was going to say "soul".
I want to fill my soul.

103
00:09:14,871 --> 00:09:17,832
I want to belong to something,
like you, Pool, sir.

104
00:09:17,999 --> 00:09:19,501
- Dopinder...
- Hmm?

105
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:21,836
You never cease
to surprise me.

106
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:25,966
You know, the depth of
your heart is extraordinary.

107
00:09:26,049 --> 00:09:27,676
We all need
a sense of belonging.

108
00:09:27,759 --> 00:09:29,511
We all need
a genuine sense of home.

109
00:09:29,594 --> 00:09:30,679
A place in this world.

110
00:09:30,762 --> 00:09:32,122
I want to become
a contract killer.

111
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:33,640
I'm sorry. What did you say?

112
00:09:34,015 --> 00:09:35,934
Remember when
I kidnapped Bandhu

113
00:09:36,017 --> 00:09:37,384
and threatened him
with great violence?

114
00:09:37,394 --> 00:09:38,728
You kind of killed him.

115
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,637
And then remember the movie
Interview with the Vampire?

116
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:41,773
Don't want to.

117
00:09:41,856 --> 00:09:42,899
When Tom Cruise fed

118
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,776
10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst blood

119
00:09:44,859 --> 00:09:46,027
for the first time...

120
00:09:46,111 --> 00:09:48,488
and she looked up
at his smooth,

121
00:09:48,571 --> 00:09:50,782
handsome face and said...

122
00:09:51,574 --> 00:09:53,326
"I want some more."

123
00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:57,038
Oh, Pool, picture me,
a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.

124
00:09:58,081 --> 00:10:00,083
I'll never not picture that.

125
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,585
But I can't wait
to never speak of this,

126
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,045
as soon as possible.

127
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:07,257
We're here.

128
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,974
Dopinder, it's me again.

129
00:10:16,057 --> 00:10:17,726
Look, a saner man
might discourage you

130
00:10:17,809 --> 00:10:19,644
from joining
the deadly merc business...

131
00:10:19,728 --> 00:10:21,146
what, with your concave chest

132
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:22,856
and your
paper towel tube arms.

133
00:10:22,939 --> 00:10:24,607
But you're an eagle...

134
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:26,651
and goddamn it,
an eagle's gotta soar.

135
00:10:26,735 --> 00:10:28,069
You gotta grab those dreams,

136
00:10:28,153 --> 00:10:29,738
grab those dreams
by the dick tip...

137
00:10:29,821 --> 00:10:31,322
and make it rain!

138
00:10:31,406 --> 00:10:33,283
I don't know what that means.

139
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,326
Me neither.

140
00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:37,370
I'm gonna see you...

141
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:40,040
at the office.

142
00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:41,708
In the sky.

143
00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:42,834
You're my Tom Cruise!

144
00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:44,544
And you're my Kristen Dunst!

145
00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:45,879
Kristen? Kirsten?

146
00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:52,719
Sorry I'm late.

147
00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:54,345
There was a bunch of

148
00:10:54,429 --> 00:10:56,473
handicapable children
stuck in a tree...

149
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:57,806
- and I had to, uh...
- Uh-uh.

150
00:10:58,099 --> 00:11:00,810
You're right.
I was fighting a caped badass.

151
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,146
But then we discovered
his mom is named Martha, too.

152
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:05,231
- No.
- You got me.

153
00:11:05,648 --> 00:11:07,408
I was rounding up
all the gluten in the world

154
00:11:07,484 --> 00:11:08,684
and launching it into space...

155
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,737
where it can't not
hurt us ever again.

156
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,072
Try again.

157
00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:14,074
Diarrhea?

158
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,000
We can't be sure
until I get this suit off...

159
00:11:16,951 --> 00:11:18,912
but, uh,
all signs point to yes.

160
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:21,831
Traffic?

161
00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:23,500
Hmm?

162
00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:26,294
Kiss me
like you miss me, Red.

163
00:11:26,377 --> 00:11:27,378
Well, come here.

164
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,850
I'm gonna shower
and get out of this suit.

165
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:42,727
Don't you want
your surprise?

166
00:11:42,811 --> 00:11:44,646
Do I look like
a patient burn victim?

167
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:46,689
I got one for you, too.

168
00:11:47,816 --> 00:11:49,192
Happy anniversary, baby.

169
00:11:49,359 --> 00:11:50,944
Open, open, open.

170
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,280
Skee-Ball token.

171
00:11:54,739 --> 00:11:56,074
Our first date.

172
00:11:56,157 --> 00:11:57,408
Yup.

173
00:11:57,784 --> 00:12:00,453
That's genuine,
high-grade lead.

174
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,250
I'll keep it forever.

175
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,127
Thank you, baby.

176
00:12:08,753 --> 00:12:10,463
- Open yours.
- All right, all right.

177
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,674
Oh...

178
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:15,959
That's just the most
beautiful thing that I've...

179
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,303
I don't know
what this is.

180
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:18,888
My IUD.

181
00:12:19,264 --> 00:12:20,265
A bomb?

182
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:23,143
No, dick for brains.
My birth control device.

183
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,723
What, you mean that your...

184
00:12:24,769 --> 00:12:26,479
Baby factory's open
for business.

185
00:12:26,563 --> 00:12:27,647
Oh, my God!

186
00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:31,109
Oh, my God! I want a boy!

187
00:12:31,192 --> 00:12:34,028
Or a little girl!
Definitely one or the other!

188
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,115
Oh! And I want our kid
to have only one name.

189
00:12:37,699 --> 00:12:40,243
Like Cher or Todd.

190
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,745
You gotta pump a baby
in me first, cowboy.

191
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:43,830
Yes, I do.

192
00:12:43,913 --> 00:12:45,738
Let's watch some porn
and show that bed who's boss.

193
00:12:45,748 --> 00:12:46,749
Let's do that.

194
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:49,419
Papa...

195
00:12:50,128 --> 00:12:52,297
Can you hear me?

196
00:12:53,756 --> 00:12:56,092
Papa, can you see me?

197
00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,678
Does this song
sound familiar to you?

198
00:13:00,972 --> 00:13:02,432
May.

199
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:06,895
Connor, if it's a boy.
May, if it's a girl.

200
00:13:09,564 --> 00:13:11,941
So weird.

201
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,444
Family was always
an F-word to me.

202
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:19,157
My pile of shit father
took off and bailed.

203
00:13:20,325 --> 00:13:22,535
I mean, it's not like I have
a lot of strong role models

204
00:13:22,619 --> 00:13:24,329
to draw off of for Todd.

205
00:13:25,496 --> 00:13:28,124
Hey. Look at me.

206
00:13:29,292 --> 00:13:31,461
You are not your father.

207
00:13:33,171 --> 00:13:34,589
Besides...

208
00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:39,385
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.

209
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,387
But here's the thing,

210
00:13:41,471 --> 00:13:43,014
isn't that how
it always works?

211
00:13:43,348 --> 00:13:44,849
Like in Star Wars,

212
00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:46,976
men are destined
to become their father...

213
00:13:47,685 --> 00:13:50,730
and then have consensual sex
with their sister?

214
00:13:50,813 --> 00:13:53,233
I think you missed
big, big chunks of that movie.

215
00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:56,361
No, I'm pretty sure
Luke nailed her.

216
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:58,071
Baby, that's Empire.

217
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,157
The point is, kids...

218
00:14:02,659 --> 00:14:05,286
they give us a chance
to be better than we are.

219
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,248
Better than we used to be.

220
00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:11,334
You're a lot smarter
than I look.

221
00:14:12,377 --> 00:14:13,753
I'm gonna go make dessert.

222
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:17,215
You get the strap-on.
Let's make a super baby.

223
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,843
Pretty sure it doesn't work
that way, but we can try.

224
00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:25,473
What about Krystal?
But with a "K"?

225
00:14:25,556 --> 00:14:27,475
It's too stripper-y.

226
00:14:27,558 --> 00:14:29,060
Kevin With a "K"!

227
00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:31,229
No, too stripper-y, too.

228
00:14:31,813 --> 00:14:33,398
Uh, Earl!

229
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,067
He's gonna go straight to jail

230
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,944
if we name him Earl.

231
00:14:38,403 --> 00:14:40,280
What about Bruce?

232
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:42,448
No.

233
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:43,783
Get down.

234
00:14:43,866 --> 00:14:45,243
What?

235
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,898
Baby? Baby?

236
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,570
I'm okay.

237
00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:23,740
Thank God I didn't have to use
the cream cheese spreader.

238
00:15:58,483 --> 00:15:59,776
Please.

239
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,657
Please. Please.

240
00:16:06,741 --> 00:16:09,786
Baby, I'm so sorry.

241
00:16:09,952 --> 00:16:13,748
No!

242
00:19:18,266 --> 00:19:20,977
Papa, can you hear me?

243
00:19:21,936 --> 00:19:23,436
Is it just me, or does

244
00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:25,350
"Do You Want to Build
a Snowman?" from Frozen...

245
00:19:25,356 --> 00:19:26,607
sound suspiciously like

246
00:19:26,691 --> 00:19:28,609
"Papa, Can You Hear Me?"
from Yentl?

247
00:19:30,027 --> 00:19:32,154
Papa, can you hear me?

248
00:19:33,948 --> 00:19:36,492
And nobody
fucking realizes it.

249
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,119
Wade, you gotta go home.

250
00:19:38,202 --> 00:19:40,788
You've been sitting here
for three days, okay?

251
00:19:40,997 --> 00:19:44,542
You smell like sauerkraut
left in the warm rain.

252
00:19:44,709 --> 00:19:47,003
Like wet garbage
in hot urine.

253
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,213
You smell like
a dog ate kitty litter...

254
00:19:49,297 --> 00:19:51,299
and then farted his way
out of the living room.

255
00:19:51,382 --> 00:19:53,175
I mean, like Rush Limbaugh's

256
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:54,802
couch cushions
after Shark Week.

257
00:19:55,136 --> 00:19:56,512
I love Frozen.

258
00:19:56,887 --> 00:20:00,099
I loved her. I loved her
like an ocean loves water.

259
00:20:00,516 --> 00:20:01,601
An ocean is water.

260
00:20:01,684 --> 00:20:06,355
More importantly, I liked her.
I really liked her, you know?

261
00:20:06,856 --> 00:20:07,982
George Michael was right.

262
00:20:08,065 --> 00:20:09,900
I'm never gonna
dance again. Fuck!

263
00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:11,485
He's dead, too.

264
00:20:12,653 --> 00:20:13,988
At least we still have Bowie.

265
00:20:14,071 --> 00:20:15,740
Oh, Mr. Pool.
David Bowie is...

266
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:16,824
Uh, uh, uh...

267
00:20:17,158 --> 00:20:18,284
still with us.

268
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:21,245
We do.
We'll always have Bowie.

269
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:22,830
I'm sorry.

270
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,206
Shot after shot,

271
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:26,282
it's not gonna change the fact
that I think you're...

272
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,950
Are you pissing?
Are you urinating right now?

273
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,713
You're making the face that
you make when you urinate.

274
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,340
- Is he pissing?
- I'm on it!

275
00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:33,966
There you go, Dopinder.

276
00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:36,052
If you want to be
a contract killer...

277
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,638
you gotta handle a mop
before you handle a gun.

278
00:20:38,721 --> 00:20:39,795
Although I don't
quite understand

279
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,015
how they are at all similar.

280
00:20:41,098 --> 00:20:43,476
'Cause I could shove either
one up your ass and kill you.

281
00:20:43,559 --> 00:20:44,644
Now, leave me.

282
00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:45,728
I get it.

283
00:20:46,270 --> 00:20:47,813
Go home, Wade.

284
00:20:47,897 --> 00:20:50,274
I don't have a home,
Weas, you know. I got a...

285
00:20:51,692 --> 00:20:53,069
Okay, I'm fine.

286
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:54,153
I'm fine.

287
00:20:54,236 --> 00:20:56,113
You know what "fine"
stands for, Wade?

288
00:20:56,197 --> 00:20:59,533
Fucked up, insecure,
needy, and emotional.

289
00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:01,202
According to the...

290
00:21:02,536 --> 00:21:03,704
- Kubler-Ross.
- Yeah.

291
00:21:04,038 --> 00:21:05,831
According to
the Kubler-Ross model...

292
00:21:05,915 --> 00:21:08,668
denial is just one of
the five stages of grief.

293
00:21:08,751 --> 00:21:10,711
Jesus Christ, Buck!

294
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,089
No more speaking lines
for you.

295
00:21:21,722 --> 00:21:24,058
Hey, bud. Bud.

296
00:21:24,141 --> 00:21:25,935
- Huh?
- Got a match?

297
00:21:26,268 --> 00:21:27,269
Match?

298
00:21:27,812 --> 00:21:29,146
Yes, I have one right here.

299
00:21:29,230 --> 00:21:30,710
Don't make a move.
This is a stick-up.

300
00:21:30,731 --> 00:21:32,441
- What?
- You heard me.

301
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,527
Mister, Mister,
put down that gun.

302
00:21:34,610 --> 00:21:37,196
Shut up. Now, come on.
Your money or your life?

303
00:21:45,413 --> 00:21:49,041
Look, bud. I said,
"Your money or your life."

304
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:50,209
"I'm thinking it over!"

305
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:51,877
Motherfuck!

306
00:21:51,961 --> 00:21:53,045
Fuck!

307
00:21:56,006 --> 00:21:57,466
The hell you doin' here?

308
00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:58,968
Don't you know how to knock?

309
00:21:59,677 --> 00:22:01,554
I thought you saw me...

310
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:02,950
with your ears.

311
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,300
You're lucky I didn't
shoot you in the...

312
00:22:04,306 --> 00:22:05,306
The wall?

313
00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:08,769
The refrigerator?
I'm in so much pain.

314
00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:13,149
I heard the news,
sweetie.

315
00:22:13,232 --> 00:22:14,984
I'm very sorry. I am.

316
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:16,819
What am I gonna do, Al?

317
00:22:17,319 --> 00:22:19,029
Probably something terrible.

318
00:22:20,197 --> 00:22:21,449
Knowing you.

319
00:22:21,615 --> 00:22:23,159
It was my fault.

320
00:22:24,368 --> 00:22:26,245
I fucking did this.

321
00:22:27,121 --> 00:22:28,914
And all I wanna do
is grab her and see her

322
00:22:28,998 --> 00:22:31,000
and tell her that I'm sorry,
and I can't.

323
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,587
She's gone.

324
00:22:34,670 --> 00:22:38,090
Sweetheart,
can you speak up?

325
00:22:38,507 --> 00:22:39,717
It's a little hard
to hear you

326
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,469
with that pity dick
in your mouth.

327
00:22:41,552 --> 00:22:44,555
Now, look, sugar.
You need to just keep living.

328
00:22:44,638 --> 00:22:45,639
Thank you...

329
00:22:45,723 --> 00:22:48,934
Matthew McConaughey,
your words are a treasure.

330
00:22:49,018 --> 00:22:51,061
Listen to the pain.

331
00:22:51,145 --> 00:22:53,856
It's both history teacher
and fortune teller.

332
00:22:53,939 --> 00:22:56,817
Pain teaches us
who we are, Wade.

333
00:22:57,610 --> 00:23:00,863
Sometimes, it's so bad,
we feel like we're dying.

334
00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:04,241
But we can't really live till
we've died a little, can we?

335
00:23:06,744 --> 00:23:07,953
Wade?

336
00:23:10,414 --> 00:23:12,314
- Wade?
- I'm right here, Althea.

337
00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:15,211
And that is
the most beautiful thing

338
00:23:15,294 --> 00:23:16,504
I've ever heard.

339
00:23:17,254 --> 00:23:18,798
And you're absolutely right.

340
00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:25,012
I'm about to do
something terrible.

341
00:23:31,060 --> 00:23:32,353
Precious, aren't they?

342
00:23:33,187 --> 00:23:34,563
Whoa!

343
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,065
Are you a superhero?

344
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,775
Fucking A, sweetie.

345
00:23:37,858 --> 00:23:39,401
What's your name?

346
00:23:39,485 --> 00:23:41,237
Captain Delicious Pants.

347
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,489
Who's Captain Delicious Pants?

348
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,808
I can't believe
he's still alive.

349
00:24:10,891 --> 00:24:13,394
I can't believe you left
the house in that shirt.

350
00:24:14,854 --> 00:24:16,772
There's gotta be
some way to die.

351
00:24:16,856 --> 00:24:18,858
I just need to die harder.

352
00:24:18,941 --> 00:24:20,067
Trademark Fox.

353
00:24:20,234 --> 00:24:21,235
Y'all caught up now?

354
00:24:34,498 --> 00:24:36,083
Open for business.

355
00:24:40,004 --> 00:24:41,755
Your crazy
matches my crazy.

356
00:24:42,172 --> 00:24:44,216
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.

357
00:24:44,383 --> 00:24:45,467
Skee-Ball token.

358
00:24:45,551 --> 00:24:46,831
You're a lot smarter
than I look.

359
00:24:52,850 --> 00:24:53,966
About why
we're so good together.

360
00:24:53,976 --> 00:24:55,311
I love you,
Wade Wilson.

361
00:24:57,980 --> 00:24:59,398
Ness?

362
00:25:00,858 --> 00:25:01,984
Ness?

363
00:25:02,818 --> 00:25:03,819
Ness.

364
00:25:04,445 --> 00:25:07,114
Ness, there's something here.
I can't get to you.

365
00:25:08,824 --> 00:25:10,910
Your heart's not
in the right place.

366
00:25:11,410 --> 00:25:13,245
Wait, hold on. What?

367
00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:16,165
Your heart's not
in the right place.

368
00:25:16,248 --> 00:25:17,291
Wait. What do you mean

369
00:25:17,374 --> 00:25:19,334
my heart's not in the right
place? What does it...

370
00:25:38,854 --> 00:25:41,398
I'm terribly sorry
for your loss, Wade.

371
00:25:41,857 --> 00:25:42,942
You're broken.

372
00:25:43,025 --> 00:25:45,986
Oh, God.
I know that voice.

373
00:26:07,049 --> 00:26:08,467
Well, Russell.

374
00:26:08,550 --> 00:26:11,220
I hear you're handy
at picking locks.

375
00:26:12,596 --> 00:26:14,765
There will be no need
for that here.

376
00:26:14,848 --> 00:26:18,143
There's no locks on our doors,
no bars on our windows.

377
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,522
I know what you're thinking.

378
00:26:21,605 --> 00:26:23,691
Why don't the kids just run?

379
00:26:24,316 --> 00:26:26,860
Who would choose to stay
in such a place?

380
00:26:27,277 --> 00:26:29,321
You stay because...

381
00:26:29,822 --> 00:26:34,535
deep down inside, you know
you're unfit to leave.

382
00:26:38,372 --> 00:26:39,957
Don't worry.

383
00:26:41,125 --> 00:26:42,793
We can fix that.

384
00:26:47,631 --> 00:26:51,385
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand.

385
00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:14,992
"Heart's in the right place."

386
00:27:15,075 --> 00:27:16,567
"Heart's in the right..."
What does that mean?

387
00:27:16,577 --> 00:27:18,454
Take your mask off, Wade.

388
00:27:18,537 --> 00:27:20,122
I wish you'd said "pants".

389
00:27:20,247 --> 00:27:21,457
Let's play a game.

390
00:27:21,540 --> 00:27:24,001
It's called
"Adrien Brody or Adam Brody?".

391
00:27:24,084 --> 00:27:26,420
Now, close your eyes
and open your mouth.

392
00:27:26,503 --> 00:27:28,338
You don't need
to be funny here.

393
00:27:28,922 --> 00:27:30,090
We must talk.

394
00:27:30,215 --> 00:27:32,676
You need fresh start.

395
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,261
Such a glare.

396
00:27:34,344 --> 00:27:36,513
It's like I'm on stage
at the Gaiety.

397
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,141
With training,
you can be X-Man.

398
00:27:39,308 --> 00:27:41,393
You're wasting your time,
Shiny Jesus.

399
00:27:41,477 --> 00:27:42,728
I'm not X-Man material.

400
00:27:42,811 --> 00:27:44,396
Understatement of the year.

401
00:27:44,855 --> 00:27:45,856
Wade, Yukio.

402
00:27:46,315 --> 00:27:47,483
Yukio, Wade.

403
00:27:48,275 --> 00:27:50,360
What in the fuck knuckles
is this?

404
00:27:50,444 --> 00:27:52,321
She's my girlfriend,
you intolerant shit.

405
00:27:53,113 --> 00:27:54,907
Whoa! Pump the hate brakes,
Fox & Friends.

406
00:27:54,990 --> 00:27:56,825
I'm just surprised
anyone would date you.

407
00:27:56,909 --> 00:27:59,203
Especially Pinkie Pie
from My Little Pony.

408
00:27:59,578 --> 00:28:00,913
I like this guy.

409
00:28:01,455 --> 00:28:02,748
Give him a chance.

410
00:28:03,582 --> 00:28:04,698
It's great seeing you
like this.

411
00:28:04,708 --> 00:28:06,877
Yeah.

412
00:28:07,336 --> 00:28:08,337
Bye, Wade!

413
00:28:08,712 --> 00:28:11,131
Now, some ground rules
while under our roof.

414
00:28:11,215 --> 00:28:13,967
"Rule number one.
No killing...

415
00:28:14,051 --> 00:28:17,471
"anyone ever,
no matter how bad.

416
00:28:17,554 --> 00:28:20,140
"Rule two. Label everything
in refrigerator."

417
00:28:20,224 --> 00:28:21,225
Wade?

418
00:28:22,101 --> 00:28:23,185
Wade?

419
00:28:23,393 --> 00:28:25,143
- Don't try to chase me.
- Wade!

420
00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:27,314
I'm not ready
to be touched again.

421
00:28:27,397 --> 00:28:29,608
All these old guys
on the wall.

422
00:28:29,691 --> 00:28:31,777
Who lives here,
Calista Flockhart?

423
00:28:33,987 --> 00:28:36,365
Those were already damaged
after they fell there!

424
00:28:37,032 --> 00:28:38,867
What am I supposed
to do around here, anyway?

425
00:28:38,951 --> 00:28:41,161
Sit in a share circle,
talk about my feelings?

426
00:28:41,245 --> 00:28:43,831
And how would I
do that exactly?

427
00:28:44,164 --> 00:28:46,583
'Cause where the fuck
is everyone?

428
00:28:46,667 --> 00:28:47,751
It's always just you

429
00:28:47,835 --> 00:28:49,243
and Negasonic Teenage
Longest Name Ever...

430
00:28:49,253 --> 00:28:50,254
Enough!

431
00:28:50,546 --> 00:28:52,381
I said no touching!

432
00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:56,677
What the fuck?

433
00:28:57,469 --> 00:28:59,596
You'd think the studio
would throw us a bone.

434
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,723
One that doesn't end up
in my mouth.

435
00:29:02,558 --> 00:29:03,757
The first movie
made more money

436
00:29:03,767 --> 00:29:06,061
than the guy
who invented pants.

437
00:29:06,145 --> 00:29:08,272
They can't just dust off
one of the famous X-Men?

438
00:29:08,355 --> 00:29:10,440
How 'bout that putz
with the giant pigeon wings?

439
00:29:10,524 --> 00:29:11,775
What do those do anyway, huh?

440
00:29:11,859 --> 00:29:13,277
Carry him
three feet off the ground

441
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,279
to snatch up
the nearest muffin crumb?

442
00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:17,614
No, no, no!

443
00:29:17,698 --> 00:29:20,367
I am not X-Man material
at all.

444
00:29:20,450 --> 00:29:23,078
First off...

445
00:29:23,162 --> 00:29:25,205
I'm not even a virgin.
Second and more...

446
00:29:27,416 --> 00:29:28,458
I should have left you

447
00:29:28,542 --> 00:29:30,210
in the self-pitying mess
I found you in.

448
00:29:30,294 --> 00:29:33,338
But this is what friends do.
They show up!

449
00:29:33,422 --> 00:29:35,090
Not when convenient or easy.

450
00:29:35,465 --> 00:29:38,844
When hard,
and you always make it hard.

451
00:29:39,845 --> 00:29:42,264
You are unwell.

452
00:29:42,347 --> 00:29:44,433
I'm sticking my neck out
bringing you here.

453
00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:46,351
Wait.
One of the assholes

454
00:29:46,435 --> 00:29:47,936
who killed Vanessa got away.

455
00:29:50,522 --> 00:29:52,524
Oh, Jesus Christ!

456
00:29:52,733 --> 00:29:54,641
I thought you were gonna
kiss me for a second there.

457
00:29:54,651 --> 00:29:56,602
Please know I wouldn't be
able to stop you if you did.

458
00:29:56,612 --> 00:29:58,614
Wade, whoever they are...

459
00:29:58,697 --> 00:30:01,033
we track them down
and bring them to justice.

460
00:30:01,617 --> 00:30:03,035
It was me.

461
00:30:05,871 --> 00:30:07,456
I'm the asshole who got away.

462
00:30:08,582 --> 00:30:11,210
I killed every last one
of them, except me.

463
00:30:11,752 --> 00:30:13,462
Couldn't kill me.

464
00:30:16,590 --> 00:30:18,592
We were gonna start a family.

465
00:30:20,385 --> 00:30:22,304
We were, uh...

466
00:30:23,597 --> 00:30:25,307
We were gonna be a family.

467
00:30:26,099 --> 00:30:27,100
Wade...

468
00:30:27,267 --> 00:30:30,062
Vanessa is gone.
She's not coming back.

469
00:30:31,647 --> 00:30:33,941
This may not be
family you want...

470
00:30:34,024 --> 00:30:36,026
but it's family you need.

471
00:30:36,485 --> 00:30:37,736
You have a good heart.

472
00:30:37,819 --> 00:30:39,363
It belongs here
where it can grow.

473
00:30:41,156 --> 00:30:42,157
What did you say?

474
00:30:44,201 --> 00:30:45,535
About my heart?

475
00:30:50,958 --> 00:30:52,960
I think
I'm in the right place.

476
00:32:00,777 --> 00:32:03,530
I'mma tell you
what the big lie is.

477
00:32:03,613 --> 00:32:05,198
Toilet paper.

478
00:32:05,282 --> 00:32:06,658
What's so bad
about toilet paper?

479
00:32:06,742 --> 00:32:07,909
Gets the job done.

480
00:32:07,993 --> 00:32:10,829
Does it really
get the job done?

481
00:32:10,912 --> 00:32:13,081
All right. Say you wake up
tomorrow morning...

482
00:32:13,165 --> 00:32:17,836
and, hypothetically, find some
fresh shit on your face.

483
00:32:17,919 --> 00:32:19,639
Your cheek, maybe
a little bit in the beard.

484
00:32:19,671 --> 00:32:21,371
What the hell?
I'm about to be fucking sick!

485
00:32:21,381 --> 00:32:22,424
What do you do?

486
00:32:22,507 --> 00:32:23,800
Do you go to a bathroom

487
00:32:23,884 --> 00:32:25,510
and tear off
a piece of dry tissue...

488
00:32:25,594 --> 00:32:27,429
and rub it around
on your beard a little bit

489
00:32:27,512 --> 00:32:29,056
and then go on,
get on with your day?

490
00:32:29,139 --> 00:32:30,724
Go to church,
maybe dinner and a movie,

491
00:32:30,807 --> 00:32:31,892
like nothing happened?

492
00:32:31,975 --> 00:32:33,310
Where is this
coming from, man?

493
00:32:33,393 --> 00:32:34,603
But something did happen.

494
00:32:34,686 --> 00:32:36,104
Your face smells like shit.
Right?

495
00:32:36,188 --> 00:32:37,731
So what you would do,

496
00:32:37,814 --> 00:32:40,025
is you would get some soap,
you'd get some hot water...

497
00:32:40,108 --> 00:32:42,402
and you would scrub
the fucking shit

498
00:32:42,486 --> 00:32:44,446
out of your beard
for 10 straight minutes.

499
00:32:44,529 --> 00:32:46,198
You could not
scrub it enough.

500
00:32:46,281 --> 00:32:47,921
Are you trying
to make me feel disgusting?

501
00:32:47,991 --> 00:32:49,159
I'm starting to feel...

502
00:32:49,242 --> 00:32:51,912
Toilet paper is
a plenty fine appetizer.

503
00:32:51,995 --> 00:32:54,081
But, then...

504
00:32:54,331 --> 00:32:56,625
Huggies Natural Care
wet wipes.

505
00:32:56,708 --> 00:32:58,043
That's your main course.

506
00:32:58,126 --> 00:33:01,254
They're soft, they're moist.
They're for babies.

507
00:33:02,089 --> 00:33:04,841
Finally, one more pass
with toilet paper,

508
00:33:04,925 --> 00:33:06,802
maybe clear out
that excess moisture.

509
00:33:06,885 --> 00:33:08,470
Maybe treat yourself
to a blow and go,

510
00:33:08,553 --> 00:33:09,846
if you can get you
a hair dryer.

511
00:33:09,930 --> 00:33:12,265
Just about 30 seconds
would do you good.

512
00:33:15,977 --> 00:33:16,978
The fuck?

513
00:33:18,230 --> 00:33:19,272
Year.

514
00:33:20,273 --> 00:33:21,274
What?

515
00:33:22,484 --> 00:33:24,111
What year is it?

516
00:33:24,194 --> 00:33:26,655
What kind of dumbass question
is that to ask?

517
00:33:57,394 --> 00:34:00,144
We have 8 weeks
of boot camp ahead of us, men.

518
00:34:00,230 --> 00:34:01,523
That'll get us
toned and prepared

519
00:34:01,606 --> 00:34:03,191
for all manner of combat.

520
00:34:05,277 --> 00:34:09,281
Not working out at all.

521
00:34:09,531 --> 00:34:11,158
Masking tape.

522
00:34:11,241 --> 00:34:13,577
It is no friend
to chilled aluminum.

523
00:34:14,661 --> 00:34:16,621
Velcro.
Color-coded, efficient,

524
00:34:16,705 --> 00:34:17,789
environmentally friendly.

525
00:34:18,540 --> 00:34:20,083
Who is he talking to?

526
00:34:20,167 --> 00:34:21,867
And why is he dressed like
a registered sex offender?

527
00:34:21,877 --> 00:34:23,837
Can we focus
for a moment, ladies?

528
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,173
Please, we need to talk about
next month's meal plan.

529
00:34:26,256 --> 00:34:28,008
Obviously,
everyone hated the ceviche.

530
00:34:28,091 --> 00:34:29,384
I read the suggestion box.

531
00:34:29,468 --> 00:34:31,052
I'm gonna stop you
right there.

532
00:34:31,136 --> 00:34:32,929
I see through this weak act.

533
00:34:33,180 --> 00:34:37,392
You may have fooled Colossus
with this nice guy shit...

534
00:34:37,559 --> 00:34:38,727
but not me.

535
00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:39,853
Don't be mean.

536
00:34:39,936 --> 00:34:41,229
Back Off, NTW.

537
00:34:41,313 --> 00:34:43,482
No, no, no.
Let her go.

538
00:34:43,565 --> 00:34:44,691
Let her go, it's okay.

539
00:34:44,774 --> 00:34:46,318
She has a right
to be skeptical.

540
00:34:46,401 --> 00:34:49,029
Look at me.
I'm an easy target.

541
00:34:50,197 --> 00:34:51,531
You know, historically,

542
00:34:51,615 --> 00:34:53,492
mischief has been
my mistress...

543
00:34:53,575 --> 00:34:56,244
so I understand, you know.
But I like to think...

544
00:34:57,871 --> 00:34:59,831
that you guys have
really rubbed off on me.

545
00:35:01,208 --> 00:35:03,288
I like to think that I've
rubbed off around you, too.

546
00:35:05,253 --> 00:35:06,254
A lot.

547
00:35:07,255 --> 00:35:09,883
And for the first time
in a long while...

548
00:35:09,966 --> 00:35:11,134
I like me.

549
00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:15,845
- I accept your apology.
- I never apologized.

550
00:35:15,931 --> 00:35:17,432
I was talking to your heart.

551
00:35:17,516 --> 00:35:19,893
See? You're not
lost cause you thought.

552
00:35:19,976 --> 00:35:23,146
I'm proud. You're everything
I knew you can be.

553
00:35:23,230 --> 00:35:24,523
Thank you, Colossus.

554
00:35:25,273 --> 00:35:26,873
Just trying to be
the world's best X-Man.

555
00:35:26,942 --> 00:35:28,360
Sorry, X-Person.

556
00:35:29,945 --> 00:35:32,572
Hmm. Something wrong
with the soap.

557
00:35:32,656 --> 00:35:34,241
It's fine.

558
00:35:34,324 --> 00:35:36,535
I just filled it. Give it
a few more pumps there.

559
00:35:37,744 --> 00:35:40,205
Now, if you'll excuse me...

560
00:35:40,288 --> 00:35:42,040
it's dust bunny season...

561
00:35:42,123 --> 00:35:43,124
and I'm hunting wabbits.

562
00:35:43,833 --> 00:35:44,960
Bye, Wade!

563
00:35:47,128 --> 00:35:49,673
Fuck.
Fuck you.

564
00:36:01,351 --> 00:36:03,895
No one is born perfect.

565
00:36:03,979 --> 00:36:05,939
But you can be.

566
00:36:06,022 --> 00:36:08,358
I know you're doing
what comes naturally.

567
00:36:12,654 --> 00:36:14,489
You can't help yourself.

568
00:36:18,368 --> 00:36:19,828
But you can.

569
00:36:20,495 --> 00:36:23,164
It takes work, discipline...

570
00:36:23,623 --> 00:36:24,833
and treatment.

571
00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:26,585
Your abilities...

572
00:36:28,545 --> 00:36:30,547
I know how seductive they are.

573
00:36:31,381 --> 00:36:33,550
How powerful
they make you feel.

574
00:36:34,551 --> 00:36:37,053
But you must learn
never to use them...

575
00:36:37,137 --> 00:36:39,723
so they will never use you.

576
00:36:45,979 --> 00:36:47,564
Please don't cry.

577
00:36:48,398 --> 00:36:49,983
I'm going to help.

578
00:36:50,066 --> 00:36:52,902
I'm gonna make you feel
what you should feel.

579
00:36:53,278 --> 00:36:54,696
How you need to feel...

580
00:36:55,822 --> 00:36:58,366
every time you're tempted
to act upon your urges.

581
00:36:59,242 --> 00:37:03,163
Suck my mutant dick,
you four-eyed fuck.

582
00:37:17,636 --> 00:37:18,845
Wade.

583
00:37:19,763 --> 00:37:20,764
Wade!

584
00:37:21,389 --> 00:37:23,433
Come in!
Hey, I was just doing

585
00:37:23,516 --> 00:37:25,060
a little bit
of light reading here...

586
00:37:25,477 --> 00:37:26,811
We have mission.

587
00:37:26,936 --> 00:37:28,438
Well, you guys be
safe out there.

588
00:37:28,521 --> 00:37:29,731
I'll be praying for you.

589
00:37:29,814 --> 00:37:32,233
No, I want you to join.

590
00:37:33,443 --> 00:37:34,569
I'm sorry, what?

591
00:37:34,653 --> 00:37:36,237
You heard me.

592
00:37:36,321 --> 00:37:38,573
Trust me,
that's a terrible idea.

593
00:37:38,740 --> 00:37:39,783
I'm really not ready.

594
00:37:39,866 --> 00:37:41,368
- You are ready.
- I'm not.

595
00:37:41,618 --> 00:37:43,370
Be at the X-Jet in five.

596
00:37:43,536 --> 00:37:44,663
I can do thirty.

597
00:37:44,746 --> 00:37:46,646
- Now.
- I can do now.

598
00:37:46,748 --> 00:37:47,791
Final offer.

599
00:37:48,041 --> 00:37:50,543
Irene Merryweather,
WHIT News.

600
00:37:50,627 --> 00:37:52,587
Live here
at a breaking news situation

601
00:37:52,671 --> 00:37:55,298
at the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation.

602
00:37:55,382 --> 00:37:57,300
A mutant boy
is appearing to have

603
00:37:57,384 --> 00:37:58,593
some sort of an incident...

604
00:37:58,677 --> 00:38:00,418
- with police here behind me.
- Get away from me!

605
00:38:00,428 --> 00:38:02,778
There are two police vehicles
that are overturned.

606
00:38:02,790 --> 00:38:04,390
- There are open fires.
- Fuck off! Stay back!

607
00:38:04,392 --> 00:38:05,472
A scene of
absolute chaos here.

608
00:38:05,475 --> 00:38:06,476
Calm down.

609
00:38:06,559 --> 00:38:09,270
I'll burn you!
You stay back!

610
00:38:09,979 --> 00:38:11,731
Get away from me!

611
00:38:11,815 --> 00:38:14,317
You wanna fucking die?

612
00:38:29,332 --> 00:38:32,502
And it appears as if the X-Men
are arriving...

613
00:38:32,585 --> 00:38:33,586
Scatter!

614
00:38:34,170 --> 00:38:36,131
...with what appears
to be a trainee.

615
00:38:36,214 --> 00:38:39,175
Everyone, calm down!
The pros are here. I...

616
00:38:39,259 --> 00:38:40,343
We're the X-Men!

617
00:38:40,427 --> 00:38:42,637
A dated metaphor for racism
in the '60s.

618
00:38:43,054 --> 00:38:45,223
So, respect.

619
00:38:45,598 --> 00:38:46,850
At ease, Officer.

620
00:38:48,435 --> 00:38:49,978
What are you doing?

621
00:38:50,437 --> 00:38:51,688
My job!

622
00:38:51,771 --> 00:38:53,171
You're the one who said
I was ready,

623
00:38:53,231 --> 00:38:54,691
and I frankly disagreed
with you.

624
00:38:54,774 --> 00:38:57,152
But here we are, trying to
overcome our differences.

625
00:38:57,235 --> 00:38:59,654
Like Beyoncé says, "Please...

626
00:39:00,488 --> 00:39:01,823
"Please, stop cheating on me."

627
00:39:01,906 --> 00:39:02,991
Hey!

628
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:04,409
This is the fifth incident.

629
00:39:04,492 --> 00:39:06,661
This kid needs to be
in the Ice Box, not here.

630
00:39:06,745 --> 00:39:08,371
Russell belongs in our care.

631
00:39:08,455 --> 00:39:10,206
Not in prison.
I assure you...

632
00:39:10,290 --> 00:39:11,448
we have everything
under control.

633
00:39:11,458 --> 00:39:12,500
Stay back!
I'll burn you!

634
00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:13,752
Not getting a real

635
00:39:13,835 --> 00:39:15,503
"under control"
vibe here, Marty.

636
00:39:15,962 --> 00:39:17,964
- It is Glen, isn't it?
- Daniel.

637
00:39:18,047 --> 00:39:19,257
I'll ask the questions,
Miguel.

638
00:39:19,340 --> 00:39:20,633
Let me talk to the kid.

639
00:39:20,717 --> 00:39:25,555
You stay here with your weird,
secret sex lips.

640
00:39:27,307 --> 00:39:28,308
You wanna die?

641
00:39:28,391 --> 00:39:29,392
This kid's adorable.

642
00:39:29,476 --> 00:39:30,633
I don't know why I packed
the hollow points.

643
00:39:30,643 --> 00:39:31,770
I'll burn your balls off!

644
00:39:31,853 --> 00:39:34,481
First day.
I'm so nervous!

645
00:39:35,273 --> 00:39:36,775
Did you just say
"hollow points"?

646
00:39:36,858 --> 00:39:38,193
Yeah, probably should've

647
00:39:38,276 --> 00:39:40,320
brought a Super Soaker.

648
00:39:40,862 --> 00:39:41,863
Hi, there!

649
00:39:43,156 --> 00:39:45,617
Stay back
or Justin Bieber dies!

650
00:39:45,700 --> 00:39:49,204
Justin Bieber.
He called you Justin Bieber.

651
00:39:50,580 --> 00:39:52,207
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!

652
00:39:52,290 --> 00:39:55,376
Okay, let's not do
whatever that is.

653
00:39:55,460 --> 00:39:56,920
Okay? Let's just talk!

654
00:39:57,003 --> 00:39:58,253
It's Russell, right?

655
00:39:58,671 --> 00:40:00,501
- Firefist.
- Firefist.

656
00:40:00,965 --> 00:40:03,176
Ooh, that's a great name.
Where does it burn?

657
00:40:03,259 --> 00:40:05,059
Just the fist, or all the way
up to the elbow?

658
00:40:09,724 --> 00:40:12,352
Definitely all
the way up to the elbow.

659
00:40:12,435 --> 00:40:14,437
Come quietly,
or there will be trouble.

660
00:40:15,313 --> 00:40:17,649
- You stole that from Robocop!
- That's from Robocop!

661
00:40:18,149 --> 00:40:19,734
Just stand down!

662
00:40:19,818 --> 00:40:21,861
You're embarrassing me.
Look, Fire.

663
00:40:23,279 --> 00:40:25,573
Oh, my God! I can't say it!
I'm so sorry!

664
00:40:30,328 --> 00:40:33,873
Oh, shit!
That fucking does it!

665
00:40:34,374 --> 00:40:35,708
Put your hands
behind your knees

666
00:40:35,792 --> 00:40:37,252
and get down
on your head! Now!

667
00:40:37,335 --> 00:40:39,546
Wade! What was first rule?

668
00:40:39,629 --> 00:40:41,548
Label everything
in the refrigerator!

669
00:40:41,631 --> 00:40:44,181
- Do not escalate!
- Rules are meant to be broken!

670
00:40:44,300 --> 00:40:45,677
That's the exact opposite

671
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:47,136
of what they're meant for!

672
00:40:48,137 --> 00:40:49,597
Fuck! Fine!

673
00:40:50,139 --> 00:40:51,339
I'll start from the beginning.

674
00:40:51,808 --> 00:40:54,143
My name is Deadpool,
and I'm an X-Man.

675
00:40:54,227 --> 00:40:56,187
- Trainee!
- Shut it!

676
00:40:57,105 --> 00:40:59,399
Look, I get it.

677
00:41:00,567 --> 00:41:02,193
All right, you're scared.

678
00:41:02,735 --> 00:41:03,778
Alone.

679
00:41:03,862 --> 00:41:04,904
You got no family.

680
00:41:04,988 --> 00:41:06,062
I didn't have
a family, either.

681
00:41:06,072 --> 00:41:07,782
You live in this dump.
Guess what?

682
00:41:07,866 --> 00:41:09,576
I used to live in a shithole
just like it.

683
00:41:10,493 --> 00:41:11,786
But you know something?

684
00:41:11,870 --> 00:41:13,580
A wise woman
once said to me...

685
00:41:13,663 --> 00:41:15,039
"Speak up.

686
00:41:15,123 --> 00:41:17,333
"I can't hear you with that
pity dick in your mouth."

687
00:41:18,042 --> 00:41:19,627
Too much? I went too far.

688
00:41:27,635 --> 00:41:29,137
That was effervescent.

689
00:41:29,220 --> 00:41:31,139
Stay in school, kid.

690
00:41:31,514 --> 00:41:33,016
Or don't. I didn't.

691
00:41:33,391 --> 00:41:34,934
And I'm an X-Man.

692
00:41:35,018 --> 00:41:36,102
Trainee.

693
00:41:36,185 --> 00:41:37,520
Fuck it!

694
00:41:37,604 --> 00:41:39,355
Superhero landing coming up!

695
00:41:42,942 --> 00:41:44,569
Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck!

696
00:41:44,652 --> 00:41:46,487
That is so not practical.

697
00:42:07,258 --> 00:42:09,260
I could get used
to this X-Man shit.

698
00:42:09,344 --> 00:42:10,345
Trainee!

699
00:42:10,428 --> 00:42:11,471
Trainee!

700
00:42:12,096 --> 00:42:13,598
Get a power restraint
on him. Now!

701
00:42:13,681 --> 00:42:16,893
Calm down, squirt.
It's over. We got ya.

702
00:42:18,770 --> 00:42:20,271
What's that do?

703
00:42:20,355 --> 00:42:21,814
Power-dampening collar.

704
00:42:21,898 --> 00:42:23,149
Shuts down
all mutant abilities.

705
00:42:23,274 --> 00:42:26,027
You can't get it off.
Unless you've got a grenade.

706
00:42:26,110 --> 00:42:29,072
Huh. Could've used
one of those in the first act.

707
00:42:29,155 --> 00:42:30,406
Thank you!

708
00:42:32,241 --> 00:42:34,452
That was absolutely thrilling.

709
00:42:34,535 --> 00:42:36,537
True heroism in action.

710
00:42:36,788 --> 00:42:38,456
We are in your debt.

711
00:42:39,248 --> 00:42:40,875
We can take it from here.

712
00:42:40,959 --> 00:42:43,127
Take me
to the Ice Box, please!

713
00:42:43,211 --> 00:42:44,379
Anywhere's better than here.

714
00:42:44,462 --> 00:42:45,672
Believe me, son,

715
00:42:45,755 --> 00:42:47,465
you do not wanna go
to the Ice Box.

716
00:42:47,548 --> 00:42:50,051
That place makes Hitler's anus
look like Waikiki.

717
00:42:50,176 --> 00:42:52,011
Let's get you inside,
young man.

718
00:42:52,095 --> 00:42:54,055
No, wait, wait. Wait.

719
00:42:54,138 --> 00:42:55,640
You guys stay there.

720
00:43:05,733 --> 00:43:07,360
Those guys hurt you?

721
00:43:08,778 --> 00:43:09,821
Who?

722
00:43:11,864 --> 00:43:14,575
Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?

723
00:43:16,035 --> 00:43:17,537
Both of 'em?

724
00:43:21,249 --> 00:43:22,917
Oh, fuck it.

725
00:43:23,001 --> 00:43:24,544
Four or five moments!

726
00:43:24,627 --> 00:43:25,628
I'm sorry?

727
00:43:25,712 --> 00:43:28,881
Four or five moments!

728
00:43:30,133 --> 00:43:32,885
That's all it takes
to be a hero.

729
00:43:33,928 --> 00:43:35,930
People think
you wake up a hero...

730
00:43:36,264 --> 00:43:37,890
brush your teeth a hero...

731
00:43:38,474 --> 00:43:40,977
ejaculate into
a soap dispenser a hero.

732
00:43:42,770 --> 00:43:46,524
But, no, being a hero
takes only a few moments!

733
00:43:47,859 --> 00:43:49,485
A few moments...

734
00:43:49,569 --> 00:43:52,196
doing the ugly stuff
no one else will do.

735
00:43:55,742 --> 00:43:56,868
No!

736
00:43:59,537 --> 00:44:00,747
Stand down!
Hold your fire!

737
00:44:00,830 --> 00:44:03,130
- Wade, what did you do?
- Colossus, no!

738
00:44:03,207 --> 00:44:06,461
You were right, Wade.
You are not X-Men material.

739
00:44:06,544 --> 00:44:08,796
No shit, Shiny Gandhi!

740
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,339
What was your first clue?

741
00:44:10,423 --> 00:44:13,217
The hollow point
through that fuckhead's face?

742
00:44:13,593 --> 00:44:14,844
That kid was abused!

743
00:44:14,927 --> 00:44:16,721
- You can always tell!
- We have rules!

744
00:44:17,013 --> 00:44:19,724
You are not judge,
jury or executioner!

745
00:44:19,807 --> 00:44:22,727
Fuck your rules!
I fight for what's right!

746
00:44:22,810 --> 00:44:24,395
And sometimes
you gotta fight dirty!

747
00:44:24,687 --> 00:44:27,732
You let me down
for the last time, Wade.

748
00:44:30,860 --> 00:44:33,112
Okay,
get these guys in the pod.

749
00:44:33,196 --> 00:44:35,364
Take them to the Ice Box.

750
00:44:56,010 --> 00:44:57,011
Hey, baby!

751
00:44:58,096 --> 00:45:00,306
I wonder what gang
I'll be in.

752
00:45:00,389 --> 00:45:01,766
Yeah!

753
00:45:01,933 --> 00:45:04,185
- Is there, like, a Sorting Hat?
- Hi.

754
00:45:06,062 --> 00:45:07,438
I've always seen myself as

755
00:45:07,522 --> 00:45:08,898
more of
an East Coast Hufflepuff.

756
00:45:10,399 --> 00:45:13,361
I've made a critical error
on my Airbnb reservation.

757
00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:17,281
This is not what the website
looked like at all.

758
00:45:18,866 --> 00:45:20,576
I love the decor though.

759
00:45:20,660 --> 00:45:22,578
I had no idea
hopeless was a color.

760
00:45:22,662 --> 00:45:23,913
Hard left, douchebag.

761
00:45:28,417 --> 00:45:29,585
Please, after you.

762
00:45:31,796 --> 00:45:34,465
Another disgusting minority
off the streets.

763
00:45:34,549 --> 00:45:35,633
We'll sleep well tonight.

764
00:45:35,716 --> 00:45:36,717
Let's get a bagel.

765
00:45:40,012 --> 00:45:42,849
Nighty-night,
you annoying prick!

766
00:46:18,634 --> 00:46:20,469
You're a long way
from your superpowers.

767
00:46:20,553 --> 00:46:22,930
Yeah. Just a touch of cancer.

768
00:46:23,014 --> 00:46:25,474
Not to worry,
we're old friends.

769
00:46:25,558 --> 00:46:26,726
Fuck!

770
00:46:26,809 --> 00:46:28,477
I wanted to be a superhero.

771
00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:30,938
Always wanted
a real super suit.

772
00:46:31,022 --> 00:46:32,565
What happened?

773
00:46:32,648 --> 00:46:34,768
When was the last time you saw
a plus-sized superhero?

774
00:46:35,401 --> 00:46:36,569
Never.

775
00:46:36,944 --> 00:46:38,738
The industry discriminates.

776
00:46:39,822 --> 00:46:41,365
Fuck superheroes.

777
00:46:41,949 --> 00:46:44,160
The thing that
pisses me off the most...

778
00:46:44,243 --> 00:46:46,078
I never stood up
for myself in there.

779
00:46:47,705 --> 00:46:49,498
My whole life.

780
00:46:50,666 --> 00:46:54,128
I've been waiting for someone
to come and save me.

781
00:46:56,547 --> 00:46:59,508
Nobody's gonna sacrifice
anything for me.

782
00:47:03,638 --> 00:47:05,890
I gotta start taking care
of myself.

783
00:47:07,225 --> 00:47:09,060
I have a mission now.

784
00:47:10,019 --> 00:47:12,647
The first thing I wanna do
when I get out of here...

785
00:47:12,730 --> 00:47:15,024
burn the headmaster alive...

786
00:47:15,107 --> 00:47:17,693
and then take a selfie
with his smoldering corpse.

787
00:47:18,861 --> 00:47:21,280
Aw. That's, like,
my favorite part of the Bible.

788
00:47:23,032 --> 00:47:24,951
I don't have
a sock puppet on me...

789
00:47:25,576 --> 00:47:27,036
but what did he do to you?

790
00:47:27,662 --> 00:47:29,205
Did he taste the rainbow?

791
00:47:29,288 --> 00:47:31,332
I'd whisper it,
but Skittles would sue us.

792
00:47:32,500 --> 00:47:34,126
Fucker hates mutants.

793
00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:36,462
He tried to beat
the genes out of us.

794
00:47:36,545 --> 00:47:39,090
Nothing worse than a "pray
the gay away" type guy.

795
00:47:39,882 --> 00:47:41,259
Sick piece of shit.

796
00:47:42,677 --> 00:47:46,347
Tomorrow, we'll find
the biggest guy in here...

797
00:47:47,306 --> 00:47:48,975
and we'll make him our bitch!

798
00:47:52,937 --> 00:47:54,230
What was that?

799
00:47:54,313 --> 00:47:56,274
That is the biggest guy
in here.

800
00:47:56,941 --> 00:47:58,985
Fun fact about the Ice Box...

801
00:47:59,068 --> 00:48:00,861
though no one's ever seen it,

802
00:48:00,945 --> 00:48:03,114
they keep a monster
in the basement.

803
00:48:03,197 --> 00:48:04,907
Right next to a huge,

804
00:48:04,991 --> 00:48:06,534
steaming bowl
of foreshadowing.

805
00:48:07,159 --> 00:48:08,160
Look.

806
00:48:09,161 --> 00:48:11,080
I can't protect you.

807
00:48:11,455 --> 00:48:12,581
With this collar on,

808
00:48:12,665 --> 00:48:15,751
my superpower
is just unbridled cancer.

809
00:48:15,835 --> 00:48:18,713
Give me a bow and arrow,
I'm basically Hawkeye.

810
00:48:19,338 --> 00:48:21,382
Now, if you'll excuse me...

811
00:48:21,465 --> 00:48:24,635
I've got tumors to grow.
Vanessa awaits.

812
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:26,971
I'll start by making us
a shank.

813
00:48:27,221 --> 00:48:29,121
- Good listening.
- I stole that guard's pen...

814
00:48:29,181 --> 00:48:31,100
and stashed it
in the old prison wallet,

815
00:48:31,183 --> 00:48:32,560
if you know what I'm saying.

816
00:48:32,643 --> 00:48:35,104
I really hope I don't know
what you're saying.

817
00:48:37,189 --> 00:48:39,483
I know it's in there,
I just need to get it out.

818
00:48:39,567 --> 00:48:41,485
Oh, Jesus Christ.

819
00:48:41,736 --> 00:48:43,988
I can hear you
rummaging around in there.

820
00:48:44,405 --> 00:48:46,532
Do they make Purell
for your ears?

821
00:48:51,329 --> 00:48:52,663
And to update you

822
00:48:52,747 --> 00:48:54,081
on the story reported earlier,

823
00:48:54,165 --> 00:48:55,708
after a lengthy standoff

824
00:48:55,791 --> 00:48:58,461
outside the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation...

825
00:48:58,544 --> 00:48:59,837
two mutants were arrested

826
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:01,547
and transported
to the Ice Box...

827
00:49:01,714 --> 00:49:03,090
Entering repair mode.

828
00:49:07,511 --> 00:49:08,951
...several
police cars were destroyed

829
00:49:08,971 --> 00:49:10,973
and the X-Men were called in
to restore order.

830
00:49:32,203 --> 00:49:34,163
Cells seven and nine

831
00:49:34,246 --> 00:49:37,583
now off-limits
for medical personnel.

832
00:49:37,666 --> 00:49:39,126
Cells seven and nine

833
00:49:39,210 --> 00:49:41,962
now off-limits
for medical personnel.

834
00:49:43,714 --> 00:49:45,091
Psst!

835
00:49:47,385 --> 00:49:49,220
Don't do that.

836
00:49:49,804 --> 00:49:52,640
What? Why are you
winking at me?

837
00:49:56,268 --> 00:49:57,645
I got your back.

838
00:49:57,728 --> 00:49:58,896
Oh, my God.

839
00:49:58,979 --> 00:50:00,439
You're sick,
I gotta protect you.

840
00:50:00,523 --> 00:50:02,441
Just leave me alone, kid.

841
00:50:03,567 --> 00:50:04,652
Oh, great.

842
00:50:06,487 --> 00:50:08,989
Well, hello there, new fish.

843
00:50:09,073 --> 00:50:11,992
It's nice to see some
fresh faces around here.

844
00:50:12,159 --> 00:50:14,370
I've done some
light catalog work...

845
00:50:14,453 --> 00:50:16,913
but, really, modeling is just
a stepping stone to acting.

846
00:50:16,997 --> 00:50:18,947
- I was talking to him.
- Oh.

847
00:50:19,834 --> 00:50:22,837
Have we met?
I can't place your mustache.

848
00:50:23,254 --> 00:50:25,874
- Black Tom Cassidy.
- White Wade Wilson.

849
00:50:25,965 --> 00:50:29,093
What's your superpower?
Cultural appropriation?

850
00:50:29,427 --> 00:50:31,971
You're supposed to be
the toughest cunt in here.

851
00:50:32,054 --> 00:50:33,722
You don't look
like much to me.

852
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:37,059
First rule of the yard,
fuckface...

853
00:50:37,143 --> 00:50:38,743
find the biggest guy
and make him your...

854
00:50:43,023 --> 00:50:45,192
Second biggest guy.

855
00:50:45,276 --> 00:50:47,528
The last thing I need
is more hepatitis.

856
00:50:47,778 --> 00:50:51,282
Oh, it's slippery, too.
This table needs a wipe down!

857
00:50:51,365 --> 00:50:52,765
Can we get a wipe down
on the table?

858
00:50:54,493 --> 00:50:56,120
Kid, I think you picked
the wrong side.

859
00:50:56,787 --> 00:50:59,081
No, I didn't!
He's my friend!

860
00:50:59,165 --> 00:51:01,417
Zip it. We're not friends.

861
00:51:03,127 --> 00:51:04,407
You're about to get
dick-slapped.

862
00:51:16,765 --> 00:51:18,476
I had so much fun!
You were like...

863
00:51:18,559 --> 00:51:20,603
And I was like,
"Take a seat, shit dick."

864
00:51:20,686 --> 00:51:21,812
Just let me die in peace.

865
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:24,231
We make a great team!

866
00:51:24,648 --> 00:51:27,193
Oh, God! We're not a team.

867
00:51:27,276 --> 00:51:31,572
Why'd you say that back there?
We're friends, partners.

868
00:51:31,655 --> 00:51:34,074
We're not partners
or friends.

869
00:51:35,493 --> 00:51:37,536
This doesn't end with us
riding into the sunset.

870
00:51:37,620 --> 00:51:39,788
It ends with me
dying of cancer...

871
00:51:39,872 --> 00:51:43,417
and you winning the Ice Box
award for softest mouth.

872
00:51:45,169 --> 00:51:46,712
There's only one person
in this world

873
00:51:46,795 --> 00:51:48,589
that I care about,
and she's gone.

874
00:51:50,382 --> 00:51:52,384
You wanna survive?

875
00:51:53,594 --> 00:51:56,889
Stop trying to shank
the biggest guys in here...

876
00:51:56,972 --> 00:51:58,849
and make friends with them.

877
00:52:00,142 --> 00:52:01,727
Make friends with someone.

878
00:52:02,978 --> 00:52:04,563
Anyone but me.

879
00:52:05,731 --> 00:52:08,067
Maybe even Black Tim.

880
00:52:08,984 --> 00:52:10,528
Black Evan, I don't know.

881
00:52:10,611 --> 00:52:13,113
All I remember is
he was African-American.

882
00:52:58,576 --> 00:53:00,619
System malfunctioning.

883
00:53:00,703 --> 00:53:04,039
Cells 7,12,14,27.

884
00:53:04,123 --> 00:53:06,333
Back in your cells, you filthy
mutants! Get in there!

885
00:53:06,417 --> 00:53:09,712
Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.

886
00:53:10,921 --> 00:53:12,298
Searching.

887
00:53:13,841 --> 00:53:16,218
Cell 04 located.

888
00:53:17,595 --> 00:53:19,221
Door won't open!

889
00:53:19,763 --> 00:53:21,390
On your fucking knees!

890
00:53:58,344 --> 00:54:00,054
That was our cell.

891
00:54:02,181 --> 00:54:04,433
What did I do to piss off
a grumpy old fucker

892
00:54:04,516 --> 00:54:05,684
with a Winter Soldier arm?

893
00:54:14,943 --> 00:54:16,862
Get away from me, kid!

894
00:54:24,495 --> 00:54:25,704
Listen to me! Go!

895
00:54:31,210 --> 00:54:32,503
Hello, Russell.

896
00:55:55,919 --> 00:55:57,963
I don't bargain.

897
00:56:16,106 --> 00:56:17,107
Who are you?

898
00:56:17,983 --> 00:56:19,234
I'm Batman.

899
00:56:30,662 --> 00:56:31,705
Ooh!

900
00:56:36,460 --> 00:56:39,338
Oh. That's got some zip.

901
00:56:47,846 --> 00:56:50,641
Don't feel bad.
Even I can't kill me.

902
00:56:51,350 --> 00:56:52,392
Talk!

903
00:56:52,935 --> 00:56:54,686
What kind of
spineless shit stick

904
00:56:54,770 --> 00:56:56,146
tries to kill
a 14-year-old boy?

905
00:56:57,439 --> 00:56:58,639
You might wanna start talking!

906
00:56:58,690 --> 00:57:01,109
'Cause I got a long history of
firing at times like this!

907
00:57:02,611 --> 00:57:04,112
The name's Cable.

908
00:57:04,655 --> 00:57:07,324
I'm from the future.
Just walk away.

909
00:57:07,991 --> 00:57:09,284
Oh!

910
00:57:09,368 --> 00:57:10,828
So, you're from the future.

911
00:57:11,370 --> 00:57:13,205
I have
three questions then.

912
00:57:13,372 --> 00:57:16,542
One, is dubstep still a thing?

913
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,461
Two, do people still homebrew?

914
00:57:19,545 --> 00:57:22,130
And three,
does Dopinder ever find love?

915
00:58:06,300 --> 00:58:08,010
Dubstep's for pussies.

916
00:58:08,093 --> 00:58:09,261
You're so dark!

917
00:58:09,344 --> 00:58:11,555
Are you sure you're not
from the DC universe?

918
00:58:12,306 --> 00:58:13,807
I love dubstep!

919
00:58:40,125 --> 00:58:41,543
Is that a fanny pack?

920
00:58:41,627 --> 00:58:44,212
I used to have one of those
in 1990-never.

921
00:58:45,172 --> 00:58:47,257
Something to remember you by.

922
00:58:47,341 --> 00:58:51,053
Give me that back!
That goes with me everywhere.

923
00:58:51,136 --> 00:58:53,513
Like the memory
of your fucking fanny pack!

924
00:59:03,231 --> 00:59:05,317
Why are you protecting
the kid?

925
00:59:06,652 --> 00:59:08,570
I don't give a fuck
about him...

926
00:59:08,987 --> 00:59:11,406
and his Are You My Mother?
complex!

927
00:59:13,742 --> 00:59:14,993
What's this one do?

928
00:59:29,174 --> 00:59:30,759
In every film,
there's a moment

929
00:59:30,842 --> 00:59:33,178
when the hero
hits rock bottom.

930
00:59:33,261 --> 00:59:35,180
In "Cool Runnings",
it was when John Candy's

931
00:59:35,263 --> 00:59:36,556
prized bobsled broke.

932
00:59:37,265 --> 00:59:39,977
In "Human Centipede",
it was when those people...

933
00:59:40,060 --> 00:59:41,603
signed on to be in that movie.

934
00:59:41,687 --> 00:59:43,146
But in this film, well...

935
00:59:43,855 --> 00:59:45,023
you're looking at it.

936
00:59:45,107 --> 00:59:46,858
On your fucking knees, mutant.

937
00:59:49,778 --> 00:59:50,779
Rock...

938
00:59:54,825 --> 00:59:56,326
meet bottom.

939
01:00:07,004 --> 01:00:08,088
I love you, Wade Wilson.

940
01:00:08,171 --> 01:00:09,381
Ness?

941
01:00:10,424 --> 01:00:11,883
Hey, Ness!

942
01:00:12,759 --> 01:00:14,553
Ness, can you let me in?

943
01:00:14,636 --> 01:00:16,722
Please! Please.

944
01:00:18,890 --> 01:00:19,975
Jesus.

945
01:00:22,936 --> 01:00:24,696
You're not giving me
a lot of direction here.

946
01:00:24,730 --> 01:00:26,523
I'm at the end of my rope.

947
01:00:29,026 --> 01:00:31,278
Then I joined the X-Men.

948
01:00:31,445 --> 01:00:33,280
I went to prison. I, uh...

949
01:00:37,367 --> 01:00:38,869
Is it the kid?

950
01:00:40,912 --> 01:00:43,832
Kids give us a chance to be
better than we used to be.

951
01:00:45,250 --> 01:00:46,251
The kid!

952
01:01:00,307 --> 01:01:01,600
That's exactly what she meant.

953
01:01:01,683 --> 01:01:02,966
Your heart needs to be
in the right place.

954
01:01:02,976 --> 01:01:04,811
I'm not gonna
abandon this kid.

955
01:01:04,895 --> 01:01:07,481
He's never had anyone, ever.

956
01:01:07,564 --> 01:01:08,857
I need to be selfless.

957
01:01:08,940 --> 01:01:10,859
Yeah, but what does
that mean?

958
01:01:10,942 --> 01:01:14,071
It means
I'm gonna save Russell.

959
01:01:14,237 --> 01:01:15,739
Maybe I couldn't
save Vanessa...

960
01:01:15,822 --> 01:01:18,784
but maybe I can save a robust
teenager from New Zealand.

961
01:01:18,867 --> 01:01:20,942
Yeah, but what I mean is,
like, the world "selfless."

962
01:01:20,952 --> 01:01:22,472
I literally don't know
what that means.

963
01:01:22,537 --> 01:01:23,663
Jesus Christ.

964
01:01:23,747 --> 01:01:26,458
Okay, look.
According to my guy, okay...

965
01:01:26,541 --> 01:01:28,293
those muties
are being transferred

966
01:01:28,376 --> 01:01:30,170
to a supermax, 80 miles away.

967
01:01:30,253 --> 01:01:32,047
Great, I'll pick 'em off
along the way.

968
01:01:32,130 --> 01:01:34,257
Hold your testicles there,
buddy, okay?

969
01:01:34,341 --> 01:01:36,301
We're talking about
an armored convoy...

970
01:01:36,384 --> 01:01:38,970
and a vicious super soldier
from the future...

971
01:01:39,054 --> 01:01:41,389
that is looking to turn your
skull into a fuckable ashtray.

972
01:01:41,473 --> 01:01:42,891
You know what we need to do?

973
01:01:42,974 --> 01:01:44,726
We need to build
a fucking team.

974
01:01:44,893 --> 01:01:46,937
We need 'em tough,
morally flexible...

975
01:01:47,020 --> 01:01:48,396
and young enough
so they can carry

976
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:49,679
this franchise 10 to 12 years.

977
01:01:49,689 --> 01:01:51,525
A team of
highly-skilled motherfuckers.

978
01:01:51,608 --> 01:01:54,611
I'm talking about some
Ocean's 14 shit. Rogue Two.

979
01:01:54,694 --> 01:01:57,072
John Wick 3, but with
the original director.

980
01:01:57,155 --> 01:01:59,032
My body is an
instrument of death.

981
01:01:59,116 --> 01:02:00,450
Not now, Dopinder.

982
01:02:00,534 --> 01:02:01,952
I could be of great use.

983
01:02:02,035 --> 01:02:03,620
What's your superpower?

984
01:02:05,413 --> 01:02:07,033
- Courage.
- That's adorable.

985
01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:08,804
Do you have the courage
to check and see...

986
01:02:08,834 --> 01:02:11,169
if there are enough sanitary
napkins in the dispenser?

987
01:02:11,253 --> 01:02:12,254
Yes, sir.

988
01:02:12,337 --> 01:02:13,588
I'm sorry
you had to see that,

989
01:02:13,672 --> 01:02:15,173
although I'm glad
you heard it.

990
01:02:16,049 --> 01:02:17,926
All right, I'll put out
a call for resumes.

991
01:02:18,009 --> 01:02:20,220
But we're not paying
medical or dental.

992
01:02:20,303 --> 01:02:22,347
It's time to get back
on LinkedIn.

993
01:02:59,217 --> 01:03:00,760
Attention, all inmates!

994
01:03:00,927 --> 01:03:03,305
Transport to Cross Force
Maximum Security

995
01:03:03,388 --> 01:03:04,764
Mutant Containment Facility...

996
01:03:04,931 --> 01:03:06,766
will begin at 0800 hours.

997
01:03:06,933 --> 01:03:08,894
Inspection of your cells
and out processing

998
01:03:08,977 --> 01:03:11,021
will begin at 0600.

999
01:03:19,321 --> 01:03:20,322
Oi.

1000
01:03:20,447 --> 01:03:21,781
What the fuck
do you want?

1001
01:03:21,865 --> 01:03:23,658
That's my fucking pudding.

1002
01:03:23,700 --> 01:03:25,300
- Fuck your pudding!
- You like pudding?

1003
01:03:46,765 --> 01:03:47,766
Hello?

1004
01:03:50,060 --> 01:03:52,395
I know you're in there.

1005
01:04:08,078 --> 01:04:10,372
Must be hard
being the biggest guy in here.

1006
01:04:11,665 --> 01:04:13,917
Lonely at the top, eh?

1007
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:15,961
They're moving us tomorrow.

1008
01:04:18,421 --> 01:04:20,215
Maybe I can get you
out of here.

1009
01:04:21,424 --> 01:04:24,594
And we can make
the whole world our bitch.

1010
01:04:26,429 --> 01:04:28,181
We need a secret code.

1011
01:04:31,226 --> 01:04:33,853
No,
that's stupid, Russell. Idiot.

1012
01:04:41,111 --> 01:04:42,612
We're a team.

1013
01:04:42,696 --> 01:04:44,614
We're like thugs,
we're like gangsters.

1014
01:04:44,698 --> 01:04:46,658
I'm like Tupac,
and you're like Ice Cube.

1015
01:04:48,368 --> 01:04:49,484
Supposedly,
she can rap, too.

1016
01:04:49,494 --> 01:04:50,578
Yeah.

1017
01:04:50,662 --> 01:04:51,663
I like that.

1018
01:04:51,746 --> 01:04:53,164
Terrific,
these are all terrific.

1019
01:04:53,415 --> 01:04:55,125
Meet Bedlam.

1020
01:04:55,208 --> 01:04:57,377
Cool name! Superpowers?

1021
01:04:57,502 --> 01:04:59,004
I can distort
electrical fields.

1022
01:05:00,255 --> 01:05:02,424
Including the one
inside your brain...

1023
01:05:02,507 --> 01:05:05,176
causing anxiety, confusion...

1024
01:05:05,260 --> 01:05:06,344
pain.

1025
01:05:07,304 --> 01:05:09,347
So, basically,
you're Dave Matthews.

1026
01:05:09,431 --> 01:05:10,598
We can use him.

1027
01:05:12,350 --> 01:05:13,893
I'm Zeitgeist.

1028
01:05:14,060 --> 01:05:15,312
Cool. I like it.

1029
01:05:15,395 --> 01:05:16,645
So you have the power

1030
01:05:16,730 --> 01:05:19,065
to put your finger
on the pulse of society?

1031
01:05:20,108 --> 01:05:21,258
No.

1032
01:05:21,318 --> 01:05:23,918
- No, I spit acidic vomit.
- Oh.

1033
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:25,520
- Do you want me to demonstrate?
- No!

1034
01:05:25,530 --> 01:05:27,130
- We'll take your word for it.
- Thank you. Yeah.

1035
01:05:27,140 --> 01:05:29,240
Listen, we've all eaten
at Arby's, okay?

1036
01:05:29,242 --> 01:05:31,870
And this is the Vanisher.

1037
01:05:35,206 --> 01:05:36,207
But...

1038
01:05:37,375 --> 01:05:38,835
Vanisher!

1039
01:05:41,379 --> 01:05:43,049
- Nice!
- Right?

1040
01:05:44,341 --> 01:05:45,425
He's not here, is he?

1041
01:05:45,508 --> 01:05:47,052
He may be running late.

1042
01:05:48,636 --> 01:05:51,097
My name's Rusty,
but I go by Shatterstar.

1043
01:05:51,514 --> 01:05:52,724
That's good, yeah.

1044
01:05:52,807 --> 01:05:54,887
- "Rusty" is terrible.
- Toughie.

1045
01:05:54,976 --> 01:05:57,687
- So, uh, where are you from?
- The planet Mojo World.

1046
01:05:57,854 --> 01:05:59,854
- So you're an alien, I guess.
- Bad name.

1047
01:05:59,939 --> 01:06:01,566
How does that, uh, help us?

1048
01:06:01,649 --> 01:06:04,444
I'm basically better
than you at everything.

1049
01:06:04,611 --> 01:06:06,331
Just once, I'm gonna find
a planet of people

1050
01:06:06,363 --> 01:06:07,906
that are worse than me
at everything.

1051
01:06:07,989 --> 01:06:10,158
A whole bunch
of functional idiots.

1052
01:06:10,241 --> 01:06:12,192
I'm gonna go there, and I'm
gonna be their Superman.

1053
01:06:12,202 --> 01:06:13,286
Isn't that Canada?

1054
01:06:13,370 --> 01:06:15,789
You shut your
goddamn trash mouth!

1055
01:06:16,956 --> 01:06:18,416
- Meet...
- Domino.

1056
01:06:18,500 --> 01:06:20,210
- What's your shtick?
- I'm lucky.

1057
01:06:20,585 --> 01:06:21,586
That's not a superpower.

1058
01:06:22,045 --> 01:06:23,045
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it isn't.

1059
01:06:23,213 --> 01:06:24,422
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.

1060
01:06:24,506 --> 01:06:25,506
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it isn't.

1061
01:06:25,590 --> 01:06:26,591
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.

1062
01:06:26,674 --> 01:06:27,675
- Yeah, it is.
- Really isn't.

1063
01:06:27,759 --> 01:06:28,839
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.

1064
01:06:29,010 --> 01:06:30,011
Told you.

1065
01:06:30,220 --> 01:06:31,429
Get out of my head!

1066
01:06:31,596 --> 01:06:33,181
I'm not in your head.

1067
01:06:33,264 --> 01:06:34,504
I'm in an
11-year-old's bedroom.

1068
01:06:34,641 --> 01:06:35,767
Well, if you're so lucky,

1069
01:06:35,850 --> 01:06:37,394
then what are you
doing here with us?

1070
01:06:37,477 --> 01:06:38,561
I don't know yet.

1071
01:06:38,645 --> 01:06:39,719
What's that supposed to mean?

1072
01:06:39,729 --> 01:06:41,513
There's a reason why I'm here,
and I'll know when I know.

1073
01:06:41,523 --> 01:06:43,348
Everything usually
just kind of works out for me.

1074
01:06:43,358 --> 01:06:45,193
Like 2008 Ryan Reynolds.

1075
01:06:46,486 --> 01:06:47,570
I don't know who that is.

1076
01:06:47,654 --> 01:06:48,822
You're hired.

1077
01:06:49,197 --> 01:06:50,198
Lucky me.

1078
01:06:50,281 --> 01:06:51,491
I like her!

1079
01:06:52,617 --> 01:06:53,910
And last, but not least...

1080
01:06:53,993 --> 01:06:55,120
Peter.

1081
01:06:56,496 --> 01:06:58,456
Am I getting
catfished here or...?

1082
01:06:59,082 --> 01:07:00,959
Any powers you wanna
tell us about?

1083
01:07:01,042 --> 01:07:02,127
No.

1084
01:07:02,669 --> 01:07:04,337
I don't have one.

1085
01:07:04,421 --> 01:07:05,713
Um, I just saw the ad.

1086
01:07:05,797 --> 01:07:07,507
No superpowers at all?

1087
01:07:07,590 --> 01:07:10,718
Uh, I have both
Type 1 and 2 Diabetes.

1088
01:07:11,219 --> 01:07:12,512
OW! Oh!

1089
01:07:12,595 --> 01:07:13,721
That's all the diabetes.

1090
01:07:13,805 --> 01:07:15,056
Right?
Yeah, you got 'em all.

1091
01:07:15,140 --> 01:07:17,058
If you find a Type 3,
let us know.

1092
01:07:17,559 --> 01:07:18,560
Yeah.

1093
01:07:18,643 --> 01:07:19,727
You're in.

1094
01:07:19,811 --> 01:07:21,311
- Yeah.
- Fuck!

1095
01:07:23,690 --> 01:07:25,108
It's fulfilling work.

1096
01:07:30,196 --> 01:07:31,489
Let's go!

1097
01:07:45,128 --> 01:07:47,672
This is Convoy 17
departing the Ice Box.

1098
01:07:47,755 --> 01:07:49,132
We are en route.

1099
01:07:56,723 --> 01:07:59,100
Peacetime makes people soft.

1100
01:08:00,685 --> 01:08:02,479
I was born into war.

1101
01:08:04,022 --> 01:08:05,190
Bred into it.

1102
01:08:06,316 --> 01:08:07,317
Okay.

1103
01:08:08,151 --> 01:08:10,487
What's the most pain
you've ever felt?

1104
01:08:12,447 --> 01:08:13,656
These restraints are pretty...

1105
01:08:13,740 --> 01:08:15,158
People think
they understand pain.

1106
01:08:15,658 --> 01:08:17,076
They have no concept of it

1107
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:19,120
beyond their own
worst experience.

1108
01:08:20,705 --> 01:08:23,875
5 years old. That's what?

1109
01:08:23,958 --> 01:08:25,460
A bee sting.

1110
01:08:25,543 --> 01:08:26,628
Oh, yeah.

1111
01:08:26,711 --> 01:08:29,214
20 years old, shrapnel.

1112
01:08:29,297 --> 01:08:31,591
40 years old, disease.

1113
01:08:32,050 --> 01:08:36,554
Maybe the kind that leaves you
more machine than man.

1114
01:08:36,638 --> 01:08:38,038
Yeah, getting old's
not for sissies.

1115
01:08:38,097 --> 01:08:39,682
That's what my
Grandma Ginny used to...

1116
01:08:39,766 --> 01:08:40,975
I've got a list.

1117
01:08:41,726 --> 01:08:43,686
We're gonna work down it.

1118
01:08:44,395 --> 01:08:45,396
Together.

1119
01:08:46,564 --> 01:08:48,691
Number one,
I'm gonna bend something.

1120
01:08:49,651 --> 01:08:51,945
Something that was not
meant to bend.

1121
01:08:52,028 --> 01:08:53,144
I'm gonna
stop you right there

1122
01:08:53,154 --> 01:08:54,521
because I'm not gonna
make it to two.

1123
01:08:54,531 --> 01:08:55,823
I won't even
make it to one.

1124
01:08:55,907 --> 01:08:57,575
I don't do well with pain,
you know.

1125
01:08:57,659 --> 01:08:59,786
If I stub my toe,
I'm done for the day.

1126
01:09:00,078 --> 01:09:02,080
I cried when they
canceled Felicity.

1127
01:09:02,497 --> 01:09:04,364
When I get really scared,
I get nervous erections.

1128
01:09:04,374 --> 01:09:05,708
I have one right now.

1129
01:09:05,792 --> 01:09:07,335
Don't look.
It'll only make it worse.

1130
01:09:07,418 --> 01:09:08,498
I don't want you
to hurt me,

1131
01:09:08,545 --> 01:09:10,797
and I'll tell you
anything you wanna know.

1132
01:09:11,756 --> 01:09:13,383
Except for where they are.

1133
01:09:13,967 --> 01:09:15,250
Russell's in a convoy
heading southbound

1134
01:09:15,260 --> 01:09:16,469
on Gerry Duggan Parkway.

1135
01:09:16,553 --> 01:09:18,044
The monster's with them.
I wouldn't fuck with him.

1136
01:09:18,054 --> 01:09:19,472
You all know the plan.

1137
01:09:19,556 --> 01:09:21,266
Intercept the convoy,

1138
01:09:21,349 --> 01:09:23,309
grab the boy.
But not inappropriately!

1139
01:09:23,393 --> 01:09:24,394
You know what,

1140
01:09:24,477 --> 01:09:25,635
I wouldn't fuck with
Deadpool either.

1141
01:09:25,645 --> 01:09:28,439
Because he's built a team.
He's unstoppable.

1142
01:09:28,523 --> 01:09:31,192
He has an ass pen.
He'll stab you with it.

1143
01:09:31,276 --> 01:09:33,861
Watch out for this guy, Cable!

1144
01:09:33,945 --> 01:09:37,073
He's very short, 5'11".
Not like in the comics.

1145
01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:39,909
And if we succeed,
we all go home early.

1146
01:09:40,368 --> 01:09:42,161
So if you go after
them, Cable, I warn you...

1147
01:09:43,162 --> 01:09:44,747
there's a wind advisory
in effect.

1148
01:09:56,092 --> 01:09:57,677
A little turbulent up here.

1149
01:10:05,101 --> 01:10:06,853
I don't know much
about this Cable fella...

1150
01:10:06,936 --> 01:10:08,271
but I guarantee
he hasn't killed

1151
01:10:08,354 --> 01:10:10,106
as many people
as melanoma has.

1152
01:10:11,482 --> 01:10:12,567
We're getting close!

1153
01:10:12,942 --> 01:10:14,569
As a former X-Man...

1154
01:10:14,652 --> 01:10:16,529
- Trainee.
- Thank you, Bedlam.

1155
01:10:16,613 --> 01:10:18,948
I was always appalled
by the blatant sexism

1156
01:10:19,032 --> 01:10:20,575
in the group's name.

1157
01:10:20,658 --> 01:10:22,660
X-Men! Men!

1158
01:10:22,744 --> 01:10:25,705
The point is, our group
will be forward thinking.

1159
01:10:25,788 --> 01:10:27,081
Gender neutral.

1160
01:10:27,165 --> 01:10:29,459
From now on,
we'll be known as...

1161
01:10:31,711 --> 01:10:33,046
X-Force.

1162
01:10:33,129 --> 01:10:34,839
Isn't that
a little derivative?

1163
01:10:34,922 --> 01:10:37,342
I don't recall asking
your opinion, Peter!

1164
01:10:38,593 --> 01:10:40,053
That wasn't me.

1165
01:10:47,101 --> 01:10:49,395
Hang the laundry out
at 1,300 feet...

1166
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:51,272
intercept the convoy,
and grab the boy.

1167
01:10:51,356 --> 01:10:52,472
Let's bring on
the carnage, baby!

1168
01:10:52,482 --> 01:10:54,317
Get me on the ground,
watch me go!

1169
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:55,401
Yeah!

1170
01:10:55,485 --> 01:10:57,236
I can't wait to kill!

1171
01:10:57,320 --> 01:10:58,988
Hey! Hey! Hey!

1172
01:11:00,114 --> 01:11:01,908
I just wanna say
how proud I am of this team.

1173
01:11:02,825 --> 01:11:05,662
You know,
you guys look amazing!

1174
01:11:05,745 --> 01:11:08,581
Vanisher, I have no doubt
you look amazing too.

1175
01:11:08,665 --> 01:11:09,707
This is the family

1176
01:11:09,791 --> 01:11:11,471
that I've always dreamed
of having and I...

1177
01:11:12,293 --> 01:11:13,336
Ah, Shit.

1178
01:11:14,962 --> 01:11:16,631
I just get a little choked up
sometimes.

1179
01:11:16,714 --> 01:11:18,508
I hate to interrupt,
but is anybody nervous

1180
01:11:18,591 --> 01:11:19,926
about the high winds?

1181
01:11:20,009 --> 01:11:21,302
- Gary.
- My name's Peter.

1182
01:11:21,386 --> 01:11:23,262
I realize that you're
new to this, but relax.

1183
01:11:23,346 --> 01:11:24,786
You've been chosen
by a higher power.

1184
01:11:25,056 --> 01:11:27,306
- Did he just call himself God?
- I think he did.

1185
01:11:27,392 --> 01:11:28,992
- I'd like to go home.
- And I'd like...

1186
01:11:29,018 --> 01:11:31,479
the McRib to be available
year round,

1187
01:11:31,562 --> 01:11:33,356
but sometimes dreams
don't come true.

1188
01:11:33,439 --> 01:11:35,566
I spent 10 years
in Special Forces.

1189
01:11:35,650 --> 01:11:36,808
You think we didn't
jump out of the plane

1190
01:11:36,818 --> 01:11:38,194
because of a light breeze?

1191
01:11:38,820 --> 01:11:41,072
You're in this shit now,
Mustache!

1192
01:11:41,155 --> 01:11:43,074
I'm only yelling
to impress the other guys.

1193
01:11:43,157 --> 01:11:45,076
I'd never let anything
happen to you, Sugarbear.

1194
01:11:45,535 --> 01:11:47,662
Leonard, hit it!

1195
01:11:56,421 --> 01:11:58,464
Go! Go! Go!

1196
01:12:34,167 --> 01:12:35,543
Let's get some!

1197
01:12:35,626 --> 01:12:36,753
Whoo!

1198
01:12:36,836 --> 01:12:37,962
Oh, yeah!

1199
01:12:38,045 --> 01:12:40,882
Convoy, 12 o'clock!
On my command!

1200
01:12:41,924 --> 01:12:43,384
Deploy! Oh, hey now!

1201
01:12:43,468 --> 01:12:44,719
Whoa!

1202
01:12:49,974 --> 01:12:51,893
Little off course here.

1203
01:12:54,061 --> 01:12:56,898
Holy mommy fucking shit!

1204
01:12:57,648 --> 01:12:59,066
Ah, there they are.

1205
01:12:59,150 --> 01:13:02,236
Look at these gorgeous
sons of bitches.

1206
01:13:02,779 --> 01:13:04,697
Oh, yeah!
That's right, Bedlam!

1207
01:13:09,786 --> 01:13:13,706
No! Tripping
motherfucking billies!

1208
01:13:14,123 --> 01:13:17,210
Shatterstar.
Okay, you got this.

1209
01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:18,961
Left!

1210
01:13:19,045 --> 01:13:20,379
Left!

1211
01:13:20,463 --> 01:13:22,673
You'd have to be insane
to take off in this.

1212
01:13:22,757 --> 01:13:24,967
No, stage left, you idiot!

1213
01:13:28,888 --> 01:13:30,389
Well, I guess
we found something

1214
01:13:30,473 --> 01:13:31,557
you're not better at.

1215
01:13:33,768 --> 01:13:35,061
Vanisher.

1216
01:13:35,144 --> 01:13:37,094
Maybe the wind can't blow
what it can't see.

1217
01:13:40,024 --> 01:13:41,424
Really?

1218
01:13:41,526 --> 01:13:43,319
All right,
we could do this with four.

1219
01:13:43,903 --> 01:13:46,864
Sugarbear.
You got this, buddy!

1220
01:13:46,948 --> 01:13:49,075
That's the stuff!
That's the X-Force spirit!

1221
01:13:50,284 --> 01:13:52,328
Never underestimate
a man with a mustache!

1222
01:13:52,411 --> 01:13:53,913
Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.

1223
01:13:53,996 --> 01:13:55,164
We did it!

1224
01:13:55,248 --> 01:13:56,749
You're a goddamn
superhero, you!

1225
01:13:56,833 --> 01:13:57,917
X-Force!

1226
01:13:58,543 --> 01:13:59,627
X-Force.

1227
01:14:04,006 --> 01:14:05,883
Oh!

1228
01:14:09,595 --> 01:14:10,595
Peter.

1229
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:11,680
I got you, buddy!

1230
01:14:11,700 --> 01:14:12,900
- You're gonna be fine!
- This is not good, man!

1231
01:14:12,902 --> 01:14:15,530
You got this, big guy!
Here we go, Peter!

1232
01:14:15,601 --> 01:14:17,019
Look at me.
We're X-Force, right?

1233
01:14:17,103 --> 01:14:19,223
- Yeah, we're X-Force.
- We're X-Force.

1234
01:14:23,276 --> 01:14:25,278
Oh, my God!
What the fuck?

1235
01:14:25,361 --> 01:14:27,321
Fucking acidic vomit!

1236
01:14:28,906 --> 01:14:31,659
Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up
in my mask.

1237
01:14:34,787 --> 01:14:37,164
Okay,
I'm over the convoy.

1238
01:14:37,248 --> 01:14:39,083
Where did the rest
of the team land?

1239
01:14:39,709 --> 01:14:41,335
Good news and bad news.

1240
01:14:41,419 --> 01:14:44,505
Bad news is
the whole team is dead.

1241
01:14:44,589 --> 01:14:45,673
The good news is,

1242
01:14:45,756 --> 01:14:47,717
I don't think anyone's
gonna miss Shatterstar.

1243
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:51,095
He was a bit of a prick.
Oh, but Paul!

1244
01:14:51,178 --> 01:14:52,179
Peter!

1245
01:14:52,263 --> 01:14:53,681
Peter, I'm gonna
miss him most.

1246
01:14:53,764 --> 01:14:54,849
But there is
a slight chance

1247
01:14:54,932 --> 01:14:56,267
Vanisher could make it.

1248
01:14:56,350 --> 01:14:58,895
Nope, no chance. He's dead.

1249
01:14:58,978 --> 01:15:00,146
The whole team?

1250
01:15:00,229 --> 01:15:02,023
Only the main ones.
We're still good.

1251
01:15:02,106 --> 01:15:03,357
Fuck, you are dumb.

1252
01:15:03,441 --> 01:15:05,026
Whoever planned this stunt's

1253
01:15:05,109 --> 01:15:07,278
been smoking
a lot jazz cabbage.

1254
01:15:07,361 --> 01:15:08,446
I'll tell you that much.

1255
01:15:08,529 --> 01:15:10,156
That's pretty obvious!

1256
01:15:10,239 --> 01:15:11,949
Looking good, Vanisher.

1257
01:15:21,792 --> 01:15:23,669
They're headed
into the tunnel.

1258
01:15:24,670 --> 01:15:26,088
I'm that kid's only hope,

1259
01:15:26,172 --> 01:15:28,049
so sit tight
and wait for my word.

1260
01:15:28,799 --> 01:15:29,799
Whatever.

1261
01:15:29,884 --> 01:15:31,125
We're gonna lose 'em.
I'm dropping in.

1262
01:15:31,135 --> 01:15:34,055
Uh, that's
a negative, sole survivor.

1263
01:15:34,138 --> 01:15:36,641
Luck is not a superpower!
We are so fucked!

1264
01:15:36,724 --> 01:15:39,769
No, we most certainly
are not fucked.

1265
01:15:42,897 --> 01:15:45,524
Seriously,
I don't get it!

1266
01:15:45,608 --> 01:15:48,069
What, you shoot luck lasers
out of your eyes?

1267
01:15:50,237 --> 01:15:52,031
It's just
it's hard to picture.

1268
01:15:52,114 --> 01:15:54,241
And certainly
not very cinematic.

1269
01:15:56,911 --> 01:15:58,496
I mean, luck?

1270
01:15:58,579 --> 01:16:01,082
What coked out,
glass pipe-sucking

1271
01:16:01,165 --> 01:16:02,500
freakshow comic book artist...

1272
01:16:02,583 --> 01:16:04,168
came up
with that little chestnut?

1273
01:16:04,251 --> 01:16:06,545
Probably a guy
who can't draw feet!

1274
01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:20,893
Once again, it all falls
on my shoulders.

1275
01:16:20,977 --> 01:16:22,218
It's why I'm cursed to be
a solo act.

1276
01:16:22,228 --> 01:16:23,268
- Wander the Earth...
- I'm in.

1277
01:16:23,312 --> 01:16:24,772
I'm sorry, what did you say?

1278
01:16:24,855 --> 01:16:25,940
I'm in.

1279
01:16:26,023 --> 01:16:27,900
How in the fuck
are you in already?

1280
01:16:28,359 --> 01:16:29,610
Oh, shit.

1281
01:16:30,194 --> 01:16:31,404
It's Cable. 12 o'clock.

1282
01:16:31,487 --> 01:16:32,530
Okay.

1283
01:16:32,613 --> 01:16:35,032
New plan. Use all of your
imaginary powers

1284
01:16:35,116 --> 01:16:37,827
to stop Cable
from killing that kid.

1285
01:16:37,910 --> 01:16:39,537
I'm coming up on your six.

1286
01:16:47,795 --> 01:16:49,797
That gun is amazing!

1287
01:16:58,973 --> 01:17:00,891
Hey!
Asshole!

1288
01:17:01,058 --> 01:17:02,643
Where is he?
I can't see him.

1289
01:17:02,727 --> 01:17:04,228
He's on top of you.

1290
01:17:04,520 --> 01:17:05,980
He's tearing you open!

1291
01:17:06,439 --> 01:17:07,857
He's going in
through the back!

1292
01:17:08,399 --> 01:17:09,483
Oh, God, he's inside!

1293
01:17:09,567 --> 01:17:10,818
You hear yourself, right?

1294
01:17:10,901 --> 01:17:12,319
Accidental double entendres!

1295
01:17:12,403 --> 01:17:14,864
Russell! Russell Collins!

1296
01:17:14,947 --> 01:17:16,866
Hands off that kid,
John Connor!

1297
01:17:21,871 --> 01:17:22,872
No, no, no!

1298
01:17:27,209 --> 01:17:28,335
Shit!

1299
01:17:50,274 --> 01:17:52,193
Two can play that game!

1300
01:17:54,320 --> 01:17:56,155
Got it! No, I don't.

1301
01:17:57,156 --> 01:17:58,157
Showtime, mama!

1302
01:17:58,240 --> 01:17:59,867
Lady Luck, take the wheel.

1303
01:18:37,613 --> 01:18:39,522
I'd ask who you are, but
you'll be dead in a second.

1304
01:18:39,532 --> 01:18:41,575
I'm Domino, and doubtful.

1305
01:18:58,175 --> 01:18:59,176
Hang in there, Doms!

1306
01:19:00,511 --> 01:19:02,138
Oh, this is really hard.

1307
01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:15,818
And give me back
my Skee-Ball token.

1308
01:19:19,363 --> 01:19:20,913
- You're doing great.
- X-Force.

1309
01:19:22,867 --> 01:19:24,869
I guess dubstep never dies.

1310
01:19:29,165 --> 01:19:30,207
Whoo!

1311
01:19:37,089 --> 01:19:39,884
You killed Black Tom,
you racist son of a bitch!

1312
01:19:42,678 --> 01:19:43,804
That's unfortunate.

1313
01:19:46,932 --> 01:19:48,184
We got no brakes!

1314
01:19:48,350 --> 01:19:49,602
Figure it out!

1315
01:19:53,981 --> 01:19:55,524
There's nothing I can't kill.

1316
01:19:58,319 --> 01:20:00,821
Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin
used to say...

1317
01:20:00,905 --> 01:20:03,240
"There's a first time
for everything, son."

1318
01:20:04,950 --> 01:20:06,535
Give me your best shot,
One-Eyed Willy.

1319
01:20:21,383 --> 01:20:23,302
Those bullets were, like,
super fast.

1320
01:20:23,886 --> 01:20:24,887
Here we go.

1321
01:20:25,971 --> 01:20:28,182
Domino, mind slowing us down?

1322
01:20:28,265 --> 01:20:30,351
Here goes nothing.

1323
01:21:01,548 --> 01:21:03,300
Knock, knock.

1324
01:21:09,848 --> 01:21:10,849
That's my boy.

1325
01:21:17,273 --> 01:21:18,440
Holy...

1326
01:21:28,742 --> 01:21:30,327
I'll be first to admit...

1327
01:21:30,411 --> 01:21:32,788
this did not go
according to plan.

1328
01:21:34,123 --> 01:21:35,666
I'll also be the first
to admit that

1329
01:21:35,749 --> 01:21:37,584
that plan was
written in crayon.

1330
01:21:37,668 --> 01:21:40,879
Looks like Russell found
a new friend. Jelly.

1331
01:21:40,963 --> 01:21:42,506
Turns out Domino's
a bit of a badass,

1332
01:21:42,589 --> 01:21:45,467
and maybe,
possibly mildly lucky.

1333
01:21:45,551 --> 01:21:48,804
But Cable? Ugh.
That guy's in a mood.

1334
01:21:48,887 --> 01:21:50,055
A mood that is

1335
01:21:50,139 --> 01:21:51,932
about to get
significantly worse.

1336
01:22:15,706 --> 01:22:18,125
Something is so terribly,
terribly wrong.

1337
01:22:21,086 --> 01:22:22,546
Oh.

1338
01:22:24,340 --> 01:22:25,966
Oh, God, that hurt.

1339
01:22:26,050 --> 01:22:27,676
Suck it, Mel Gibson.

1340
01:22:31,221 --> 01:22:32,306
Russell.

1341
01:22:35,017 --> 01:22:36,101
Russell!

1342
01:22:36,727 --> 01:22:38,812
Russ, where are ya?

1343
01:22:42,441 --> 01:22:44,526
Russell. Russell, you're okay!

1344
01:22:44,693 --> 01:22:47,863
Oh, thank God.
Oh, my God!

1345
01:22:48,155 --> 01:22:49,365
Juggernaut!

1346
01:22:50,699 --> 01:22:52,701
I thought that was you!

1347
01:22:52,785 --> 01:22:54,870
I should've worn
my white pants.

1348
01:22:55,621 --> 01:22:58,621
You probably get this a lot,
but I am a huge fan.

1349
01:22:59,500 --> 01:23:02,795
Uncanny X-Men 183. Thor 411.

1350
01:23:02,878 --> 01:23:04,171
X-Men Unlimited 12.

1351
01:23:04,254 --> 01:23:06,340
You know, it has always been
a dream of mine...

1352
01:23:06,423 --> 01:23:08,175
to see my face
reflected in your helmet...

1353
01:23:08,258 --> 01:23:10,427
as you charge at me
with murderous intent.

1354
01:23:10,511 --> 01:23:12,012
I don't mean right now.

1355
01:23:12,346 --> 01:23:14,223
I'm gonna rip you
in half now.

1356
01:23:14,306 --> 01:23:16,642
That is such
a Juggernaut thing to say.

1357
01:23:20,729 --> 01:23:24,733
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.

1358
01:23:24,817 --> 01:23:25,901
I can't feel...

1359
01:23:26,860 --> 01:23:28,362
Oh, no, they're right here.

1360
01:23:29,196 --> 01:23:30,948
Got 'em.
God, Russell.

1361
01:23:31,031 --> 01:23:32,866
I have a mission.

1362
01:23:33,409 --> 01:23:34,535
To get my revenge.

1363
01:23:35,035 --> 01:23:37,287
I'm going to burn
that headmaster alive.

1364
01:23:37,371 --> 01:23:39,540
You're not the revenge type.

1365
01:23:39,623 --> 01:23:40,791
Take it from a friend.

1366
01:23:41,208 --> 01:23:44,920
Friend? You were sick,
and I protected you.

1367
01:23:45,087 --> 01:23:47,214
You said it yourself.

1368
01:23:47,297 --> 01:23:49,967
"I'm not your friend.
Find someone stronger."

1369
01:23:50,050 --> 01:23:51,260
So I did.

1370
01:23:53,011 --> 01:23:55,055
Russell, I couldn't
protect you back then.

1371
01:23:55,222 --> 01:23:58,684
But I can now. What do you
want me to say, huh?

1372
01:23:59,268 --> 01:24:01,103
"I care about you"?
'Cause goddamn it,

1373
01:24:01,186 --> 01:24:03,021
I care about you, Russell.

1374
01:24:03,647 --> 01:24:05,732
What's Juggernaut got
that I don't have?

1375
01:24:05,816 --> 01:24:08,986
Don't you say legs!
I know you're gonna say legs!

1376
01:24:09,528 --> 01:24:12,328
- Legs!
- Still hurts to hear out loud!

1377
01:24:14,491 --> 01:24:17,411
What is that?
That's not a real rope!

1378
01:24:17,494 --> 01:24:19,830
You get back here, young man!

1379
01:24:20,789 --> 01:24:21,915
Doms!

1380
01:24:22,291 --> 01:24:24,460
Doms, get me
out of here, please.

1381
01:24:24,543 --> 01:24:26,962
Use my arms
as backpack straps.

1382
01:24:29,673 --> 01:24:30,757
I think we may have found

1383
01:24:30,841 --> 01:24:32,634
your cosmic reason
for being here.

1384
01:24:33,051 --> 01:24:34,803
I'm pretty sure
this isn't it.

1385
01:24:34,887 --> 01:24:36,138
X-Force.

1386
01:24:49,651 --> 01:24:51,445
No child is hopeless.

1387
01:24:51,528 --> 01:24:54,328
- Don't give up on the boy.
- How could he just walk away?

1388
01:24:55,073 --> 01:24:57,326
It was the coldness
in his eyes.

1389
01:24:57,784 --> 01:24:59,369
You should've heard it.

1390
01:25:01,288 --> 01:25:03,582
I guess family
really is an F-word.

1391
01:25:04,500 --> 01:25:06,668
Rub my legs, Mama.

1392
01:25:06,752 --> 01:25:08,128
Why would I
rub your legs?

1393
01:25:08,212 --> 01:25:10,797
Please, they hurt.
I have growing pains.

1394
01:25:14,259 --> 01:25:15,469
What in the...

1395
01:25:15,969 --> 01:25:18,222
Why is your hand
so tiny again?

1396
01:25:18,722 --> 01:25:20,098
That's not my hand.

1397
01:25:20,599 --> 01:25:22,434
Oh! Mary,
mother of Joseph!

1398
01:25:23,018 --> 01:25:24,895
That was nice for me.

1399
01:25:24,978 --> 01:25:27,731
Wade! I heard what happened
with the convoy and...

1400
01:25:32,236 --> 01:25:34,071
Why wouldn't you
cover that up?

1401
01:25:34,571 --> 01:25:36,740
A warrior has nothing
to be ashamed of.

1402
01:25:36,823 --> 01:25:38,742
Yeah, but you do.
Look at you.

1403
01:25:38,825 --> 01:25:40,827
You're just
straight shirt-cocking it,

1404
01:25:40,911 --> 01:25:42,329
toddler-style.

1405
01:25:42,412 --> 01:25:44,331
Oh, yeah.
Full Winnie the Pooh.

1406
01:25:44,414 --> 01:25:46,375
The hell's happening?
Describe it.

1407
01:25:46,458 --> 01:25:47,741
I wouldn't ask him to do that,
if I were you.

1408
01:25:47,751 --> 01:25:49,336
- It's like, um...
- Here we go.

1409
01:25:49,419 --> 01:25:50,702
It's like he was
giving birth anally,

1410
01:25:50,712 --> 01:25:52,214
but they quit halfway through.

1411
01:25:52,297 --> 01:25:53,455
They got the legs out,
and they said,

1412
01:25:53,465 --> 01:25:54,800
"You know what, I'm done."

1413
01:25:54,883 --> 01:25:55,884
Happy?

1414
01:25:55,968 --> 01:25:57,084
It's like he's a Muppet
from the waist down.

1415
01:25:57,094 --> 01:25:58,428
But this time, you can see

1416
01:25:58,512 --> 01:25:59,930
the Muppet's dick.

1417
01:26:00,013 --> 01:26:01,213
Grover's got a cock
the size of a twig.

1418
01:26:01,223 --> 01:26:02,589
Mr. Weasel, I can
no longer be double-parked.

1419
01:26:02,599 --> 01:26:04,268
I've had three tickets
already.

1420
01:26:05,894 --> 01:26:08,355
No, no, no, DP,
not again!

1421
01:26:08,689 --> 01:26:10,232
This has happened before?

1422
01:26:11,358 --> 01:26:12,776
Jesus! Either vomit or don't.

1423
01:26:12,859 --> 01:26:14,152
The indecision is killing me.

1424
01:26:14,236 --> 01:26:16,113
Why couldn't God
take my hearing?

1425
01:26:17,698 --> 01:26:19,848
Oh. Wow!

1426
01:26:19,950 --> 01:26:21,577
Cool your pits.
They're growing back.

1427
01:26:21,660 --> 01:26:23,245
I'm talking about your face.

1428
01:26:23,662 --> 01:26:25,462
I've never seen you
without your mask before.

1429
01:26:25,500 --> 01:26:27,800
- Jesus Christ!
- Looks like an avocado.

1430
01:26:27,874 --> 01:26:29,501
Your legs, though,
they're cute.

1431
01:26:29,835 --> 01:26:31,628
You wanna borrow
a pair of pants?

1432
01:26:33,213 --> 01:26:34,756
I'm glad everybody dropped by.

1433
01:26:34,840 --> 01:26:37,134
You must be wondering
why I didn't call you here.

1434
01:26:37,593 --> 01:26:39,177
I'll tell you why I'm here.

1435
01:26:39,261 --> 01:26:41,555
"The Time Traveler's Wife's"
husband“.

1436
01:26:41,638 --> 01:26:42,879
Beat me within
an inch of my life.

1437
01:26:42,889 --> 01:26:44,141
He was torturing me!

1438
01:26:44,224 --> 01:26:47,144
But all I told him was
everything he wanted to know.

1439
01:26:47,227 --> 01:26:49,396
So, I'm here
to help us gear up.

1440
01:26:49,896 --> 01:26:51,096
So we can go after him
without me.

1441
01:26:51,106 --> 01:26:52,106
No!

1442
01:26:52,524 --> 01:26:53,859
I'm doing this alone.

1443
01:26:53,942 --> 01:26:56,312
- The Juggernaut will kill you all.
- Fair enough.

1444
01:26:56,314 --> 01:26:58,414
I just need a couple of hours
to get some legs under me.

1445
01:26:58,488 --> 01:26:59,573
What will you do?

1446
01:26:59,656 --> 01:27:01,026
I don't care
what the kid did to me.

1447
01:27:01,033 --> 01:27:02,326
I ain't letting Cable
get to him,

1448
01:27:02,409 --> 01:27:03,775
even if I have to
teabag him to death.

1449
01:27:03,785 --> 01:27:05,787
It's really just a sip of tea
at this point.

1450
01:27:05,871 --> 01:27:07,623
Zip it, black Black Widow!
I'm flowing.

1451
01:27:07,706 --> 01:27:08,780
The first order
of business is

1452
01:27:08,790 --> 01:27:09,948
to get me in front of Cable...

1453
01:27:09,958 --> 01:27:11,658
so I can pull all the fucking
blood out of his body...

1454
01:27:11,668 --> 01:27:14,004
and fashion his bones
into holiday jewelry.

1455
01:27:14,087 --> 01:27:15,839
Then,
I'm gonna take his skin...

1456
01:27:15,922 --> 01:27:19,009
and stretch it out
over a homemade mating drum.

1457
01:27:20,594 --> 01:27:22,194
He's standing right
behind you, isn't he?

1458
01:27:30,854 --> 01:27:32,606
What in the ass?

1459
01:27:32,898 --> 01:27:35,984
Is this apartment listed
on Tinder? Grindr?

1460
01:27:36,276 --> 01:27:38,820
You picked the wrong shithole
to fuck, future boy.

1461
01:27:39,363 --> 01:27:41,907
Ugh. Is that really necessary?

1462
01:27:44,159 --> 01:27:46,828
No. It's his
"Basic Instinct."

1463
01:27:46,995 --> 01:27:48,038
What can we help you with?

1464
01:27:48,747 --> 01:27:50,415
I'm here to proposition you.

1465
01:27:51,917 --> 01:27:53,001
Oh, boy!

1466
01:27:53,085 --> 01:27:54,159
He's really teeing it up,
isn't he?

1467
01:27:54,169 --> 01:27:56,254
Who gets to make
the first joke?

1468
01:27:56,338 --> 01:27:57,704
I think we should all do it
at the same time.

1469
01:27:57,714 --> 01:27:58,715
Good call.

1470
01:27:58,799 --> 01:28:00,342
For $45, you get sucky-suck.

1471
01:28:00,425 --> 01:28:01,667
I only do over
the pants, mouth stuff.

1472
01:28:01,677 --> 01:28:02,761
Fuck!

1473
01:28:02,844 --> 01:28:03,960
The Proposition
has a wonderful

1474
01:28:03,970 --> 01:28:04,971
Guy Pearce performance.

1475
01:28:05,055 --> 01:28:06,805
Wait, wait, wait!
I wanna do mine over.

1476
01:28:07,140 --> 01:28:09,226
- Give us the line again.
- I need your help!

1477
01:28:09,768 --> 01:28:12,062
Trust me, I'm even less happy
about this than you are...

1478
01:28:12,145 --> 01:28:14,773
but you unleashed
the Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!

1479
01:28:15,315 --> 01:28:17,567
I can't bring him down alone.

1480
01:28:17,734 --> 01:28:19,277
So here we are.

1481
01:28:20,612 --> 01:28:22,364
We're no longer
accepting applications

1482
01:28:22,447 --> 01:28:23,824
for X-Force, unfortunately.

1483
01:28:23,907 --> 01:28:25,325
Even if we were...

1484
01:28:25,409 --> 01:28:27,109
there's a wind advisory
in effect until at least...

1485
01:28:27,119 --> 01:28:28,286
We don't have a lot of time.

1486
01:28:28,370 --> 01:28:30,122
Your friend's about
to make his first kill.

1487
01:28:30,205 --> 01:28:31,685
No offense,
but if you know so much...

1488
01:28:31,748 --> 01:28:34,084
why not travel back to when
he was a baby, kill him then?

1489
01:28:34,668 --> 01:28:35,742
Or better yet, head back
a little further,

1490
01:28:35,752 --> 01:28:36,753
kill baby Hitler.

1491
01:28:36,837 --> 01:28:38,797
I use a device
to slide through time.

1492
01:28:38,880 --> 01:28:41,508
The longer I travel,
the harder it is to control.

1493
01:28:41,591 --> 01:28:44,177
I got two charges:
one to get me here,

1494
01:28:44,261 --> 01:28:45,387
one to get me home.

1495
01:28:45,470 --> 01:28:46,596
Well.

1496
01:28:46,680 --> 01:28:48,557
That's just lazy writing.

1497
01:28:48,640 --> 01:28:49,923
Your boy's
gonna kill the headmaster

1498
01:28:49,933 --> 01:28:51,476
of the orphanage tonight.

1499
01:28:51,560 --> 01:28:53,645
After that,
he gets a real taste for it.

1500
01:28:53,729 --> 01:28:56,440
Like 10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!

1501
01:28:56,523 --> 01:28:58,483
So he keeps killing...

1502
01:28:58,567 --> 01:29:00,026
and killing, and killing,

1503
01:29:00,110 --> 01:29:01,319
and killing.

1504
01:29:01,653 --> 01:29:04,865
Until one day, he kills
the wrong fucking people.

1505
01:29:07,451 --> 01:29:08,827
My People.

1506
01:29:12,748 --> 01:29:13,874
Relax.

1507
01:29:13,957 --> 01:29:16,418
I'm retrieving something
from my utility bag.

1508
01:29:16,501 --> 01:29:19,045
It's a goddamn fanny pack...

1509
01:29:19,129 --> 01:29:21,673
and you know it,
you sick son of a bitch!

1510
01:29:21,757 --> 01:29:23,425
The difference
is night and day.

1511
01:29:25,260 --> 01:29:27,387
You remind me of my wife.

1512
01:29:27,554 --> 01:29:28,680
I'm sorry.

1513
01:29:29,097 --> 01:29:30,213
I said, "You remind me
of my wife."

1514
01:29:30,223 --> 01:29:31,583
No, I'm sorry
that you said that...

1515
01:29:31,600 --> 01:29:34,352
while making heavy eye contact
and applying lip balm.

1516
01:29:34,436 --> 01:29:35,604
She always struggled.

1517
01:29:36,730 --> 01:29:38,148
But she was funny...

1518
01:29:38,231 --> 01:29:40,734
and filtered her pain
through the prism of humor.

1519
01:29:41,610 --> 01:29:43,820
Something I could
never master.

1520
01:29:44,738 --> 01:29:46,948
It was my fault she died.

1521
01:29:48,575 --> 01:29:51,225
It was my job
to stop people like him.

1522
01:29:52,287 --> 01:29:54,247
I came close a few times.

1523
01:29:58,460 --> 01:30:00,128
He wasn't too happy
about that.

1524
01:30:01,838 --> 01:30:02,964
He was trying to hurt me...

1525
01:30:03,048 --> 01:30:05,008
and he knew exactly
how to do it.

1526
01:30:09,054 --> 01:30:10,722
Blessed are the wicked

1527
01:30:10,806 --> 01:30:12,390
who are healed by my hand.

1528
01:30:15,519 --> 01:30:16,937
He came into my home...

1529
01:30:17,896 --> 01:30:20,774
and took the only thing
that made it a home.

1530
01:30:24,986 --> 01:30:26,363
Sound familiar?

1531
01:30:27,405 --> 01:30:29,005
- I'm sorry.
- Uh-huh.

1532
01:30:29,074 --> 01:30:30,742
No, I'm really sorry.

1533
01:30:32,953 --> 01:30:35,080
But that isn't Russell.

1534
01:30:35,090 --> 01:30:37,090
- It doesn't have to be him.
- If you knew what I knew...

1535
01:30:37,090 --> 01:30:39,090
Yeah, he's got anger issues...

1536
01:30:39,167 --> 01:30:40,669
maybe a small
learning disability...

1537
01:30:40,752 --> 01:30:42,128
splash of diabetes...

1538
01:30:42,212 --> 01:30:43,505
but nothing
that can't be fixed.

1539
01:30:43,588 --> 01:30:45,215
If you could go back...

1540
01:30:45,298 --> 01:30:47,968
and stop the people that took
your girl, would you?

1541
01:30:48,260 --> 01:30:49,469
No.

1542
01:30:49,553 --> 01:30:51,263
I'd buy them all
a bouquet of hand jobs.

1543
01:30:51,346 --> 01:30:53,098
Of course I fucking would!

1544
01:30:53,849 --> 01:30:54,933
But I wouldn't kill a kid.

1545
01:30:55,016 --> 01:30:57,018
I'm not asking you
to kill a kid!

1546
01:30:57,102 --> 01:30:58,645
I'll kill the kid.

1547
01:30:58,728 --> 01:31:02,190
I'm asking you to save
hundreds of other kids.

1548
01:31:02,274 --> 01:31:04,568
Russell's gonna burn down
that orphanage.

1549
01:31:04,651 --> 01:31:06,653
And I can imagine
your dead girlfriend...

1550
01:31:06,736 --> 01:31:08,989
would want you to do
the right thing, wouldn't she?

1551
01:31:09,990 --> 01:31:12,576
So, what's it gonna be,
handsome?

1552
01:31:13,243 --> 01:31:14,911
Give me a chance to save him.

1553
01:31:14,995 --> 01:31:16,395
- What?
- You said...

1554
01:31:16,496 --> 01:31:18,154
once he kills someone,
he gets a taste for it.

1555
01:31:18,164 --> 01:31:20,500
If we can get to him
before that happens...

1556
01:31:20,584 --> 01:31:22,210
promise you'll give me
a chance

1557
01:31:22,294 --> 01:31:24,087
to put him
on a different path.

1558
01:31:24,170 --> 01:31:25,340
Define "chance".

1559
01:31:25,422 --> 01:31:27,722
I don't know. How long does it
take to save someone's soul?

1560
01:31:27,724 --> 01:31:29,424
- That's not...
- I'll give you 30 seconds.

1561
01:31:29,426 --> 01:31:31,426
- What? No!
- Best I can do.

1562
01:31:31,430 --> 01:31:32,730
Take it or leave it.

1563
01:31:43,231 --> 01:31:44,649
He's doing it!

1564
01:31:44,733 --> 01:31:46,293
Look at the little fella.
He's doing it.

1565
01:31:46,401 --> 01:31:48,236
There he goes.

1566
01:31:48,403 --> 01:31:49,821
Jesus Christ!

1567
01:31:49,905 --> 01:31:51,364
Just shirt-cocking it.

1568
01:31:51,448 --> 01:31:52,449
Ugh.

1569
01:31:53,408 --> 01:31:54,743
There you go, little fella.

1570
01:31:55,493 --> 01:31:56,828
Go on, you're doing it!

1571
01:31:57,245 --> 01:32:00,081
My beautiful, hairless,
Twizzler-legged baby boy.

1572
01:32:02,292 --> 01:32:03,372
Christ!

1573
01:32:03,460 --> 01:32:05,086
That's disturbing.

1574
01:32:05,170 --> 01:32:06,588
30 seconds.

1575
01:32:11,968 --> 01:32:13,468
- Deal.
- Deal.

1576
01:32:19,893 --> 01:32:22,938
Man, that sucks they didn't
have anything in your size.

1577
01:32:23,021 --> 01:32:24,981
I really wanted to match,
you know?

1578
01:32:25,065 --> 01:32:27,067
Being a menacing team.

1579
01:32:27,150 --> 01:32:28,276
Oh, man, it sucks.

1580
01:32:28,360 --> 01:32:29,945
That was some
cold-ass shit, kid.

1581
01:32:31,655 --> 01:32:34,157
And that is just
the first five steps

1582
01:32:34,240 --> 01:32:35,951
to a prostate-assisted orgasm.

1583
01:32:36,868 --> 01:32:38,286
Where the hell
are we going?

1584
01:32:38,370 --> 01:32:39,621
You said it yourself.

1585
01:32:39,704 --> 01:32:42,624
Nothing can stop the
Juggernaut. We need backup.

1586
01:32:42,707 --> 01:32:45,460
I will bathe in the blood
of your enemies.

1587
01:32:49,798 --> 01:32:51,424
Can you turn off the music?

1588
01:32:52,425 --> 01:32:54,427
You'll do no such thing.

1589
01:32:54,594 --> 01:32:56,429
Why don't you just say it
in an Indian accent?

1590
01:32:56,513 --> 01:32:58,213
- I'm sorry?
- Apology accepted.

1591
01:32:58,306 --> 01:33:00,350
This is a side of you
I do not like.

1592
01:33:00,433 --> 01:33:01,434
Let me guess,

1593
01:33:01,518 --> 01:33:03,343
some of your best friends
in the future are Indian.

1594
01:33:03,353 --> 01:33:04,479
What the hell are you...?

1595
01:33:04,562 --> 01:33:06,481
Once again, intolerance rears
its ugly head.

1596
01:33:06,564 --> 01:33:07,816
I am so sorry.
It gets better.

1597
01:33:07,899 --> 01:33:09,442
I'm not a fucking racist,
moron!

1598
01:33:09,526 --> 01:33:11,403
That's precisely
what a racist would say.

1599
01:33:11,611 --> 01:33:13,238
I'm with the old white guy
on this one.

1600
01:33:13,321 --> 01:33:14,531
And that's a twist.

1601
01:33:14,614 --> 01:33:15,740
When this is over...

1602
01:33:15,824 --> 01:33:18,064
I'm going to fuck you to death
with your own broken feet.

1603
01:33:18,076 --> 01:33:20,203
And a sexual predator, too.
That's rich.

1604
01:33:20,286 --> 01:33:21,663
I should have
finished college.

1605
01:33:21,746 --> 01:33:22,831
So what exactly do you

1606
01:33:22,914 --> 01:33:23,989
do in the future, anyway, huh?

1607
01:33:23,999 --> 01:33:25,208
Some kind of soldier?

1608
01:33:25,291 --> 01:33:27,085
Yeah, something like that.

1609
01:33:27,168 --> 01:33:29,337
I was a soldier.
Special Forces.

1610
01:33:29,421 --> 01:33:32,048
I bet 50 years from now,
we're bestest buddies.

1611
01:33:32,132 --> 01:33:34,092
50 years from now,
you're very dead.

1612
01:33:34,175 --> 01:33:36,553
Your entire generation fucked
this planet into a coma.

1613
01:33:36,636 --> 01:33:38,179
Boom!

1614
01:33:38,263 --> 01:33:39,514
Spoiler alert.

1615
01:33:40,765 --> 01:33:41,975
Planets.

1616
01:33:42,142 --> 01:33:43,685
Next time, Uber.

1617
01:33:43,768 --> 01:33:45,061
Here's a spoiler alert.

1618
01:33:46,229 --> 01:33:48,023
You're not a fucking hero.

1619
01:33:48,231 --> 01:33:51,943
You're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy.

1620
01:33:52,318 --> 01:33:53,486
Well, I got news for you.

1621
01:33:53,570 --> 01:33:54,863
My heart
is in the right place.

1622
01:33:54,946 --> 01:33:56,448
Russell's not
gonna kill anyone.

1623
01:33:56,531 --> 01:33:58,523
Because of me, he's gonna know
what real love looks like.

1624
01:33:58,533 --> 01:33:59,576
We're all going to die.

1625
01:33:59,659 --> 01:34:00,899
Because of you,
I'll always know

1626
01:34:00,952 --> 01:34:02,829
what a grown man
with baby balls looks like.

1627
01:34:02,954 --> 01:34:05,248
I'm a grower, not a shower.

1628
01:34:05,415 --> 01:34:06,541
God, I wish this were a bus

1629
01:34:06,624 --> 01:34:07,824
where I could pull
the string and get out.

1630
01:34:07,834 --> 01:34:09,461
It's a good thing
Cable's not driving,

1631
01:34:09,544 --> 01:34:10,545
or you'd be in the back.

1632
01:34:10,754 --> 01:34:12,547
- I am in the back.
- Right here!

1633
01:34:31,274 --> 01:34:32,942
I made mistakes!

1634
01:34:33,401 --> 01:34:34,944
I wanna take them back!

1635
01:34:35,111 --> 01:34:37,989
You trusted me.
I took that trust...

1636
01:34:38,114 --> 01:34:39,532
and turned it
into a glory hole

1637
01:34:39,616 --> 01:34:41,117
in an airport bathroom.

1638
01:34:41,201 --> 01:34:43,953
The one in Minneapolis.
You know the one.

1639
01:34:44,537 --> 01:34:47,082
But even you know I'm not
a complete piece of shit.

1640
01:34:47,165 --> 01:34:48,666
I was once an X-Man.

1641
01:34:48,750 --> 01:34:49,793
Trainee!

1642
01:34:54,464 --> 01:34:56,966
You're still using
my Velcro labels. Aw.

1643
01:34:57,050 --> 01:34:58,635
They do stick better
than tape.

1644
01:34:58,718 --> 01:34:59,718
Hi, Wade!

1645
01:34:59,790 --> 01:35:00,790
Please don't.

1646
01:35:00,800 --> 01:35:03,650
Say whatever it is you're here
to say. Make it quick.

1647
01:35:03,723 --> 01:35:04,724
Right. Quick.

1648
01:35:04,808 --> 01:35:06,684
It's the kid.
Just like you, I let him down.

1649
01:35:06,768 --> 01:35:07,769
And just like me,

1650
01:35:07,852 --> 01:35:09,135
he's never had anyone
sacrifice anything for him...

1651
01:35:09,145 --> 01:35:10,470
because the whole world
wrote him off

1652
01:35:10,480 --> 01:35:11,856
as a piece of shit
a long time ago.

1653
01:35:11,940 --> 01:35:13,608
Look, he's teamed up
with the Juggernaut!

1654
01:35:13,691 --> 01:35:15,191
The Juggernaut!

1655
01:35:15,235 --> 01:35:17,018
Who's, like, my favorite
Marvel character ever...

1656
01:35:17,028 --> 01:35:19,197
And hi, Yukio! That was really
nice of you to say hi...

1657
01:35:19,280 --> 01:35:20,615
so I'm saying hi back.

1658
01:35:20,698 --> 01:35:22,033
You guys make
a super cute couple.

1659
01:35:22,117 --> 01:35:23,785
Yeah.
Where was I?

1660
01:35:23,868 --> 01:35:25,703
Oh, yeah. You should never
meet your heroes...

1661
01:35:25,787 --> 01:35:27,455
because, honestly,
he's a bit of a dick!

1662
01:35:27,539 --> 01:35:29,364
And like a lot of dicks,
he's hard as a rock...

1663
01:35:29,374 --> 01:35:30,614
and causes nothing
but problems!

1664
01:35:30,667 --> 01:35:33,670
Look, you can stop the
Juggernaut. I know you can.

1665
01:35:33,753 --> 01:35:36,923
Do you know what would happen
to me if I helped you?

1666
01:35:37,006 --> 01:35:39,050
I would be disgraced.

1667
01:35:39,134 --> 01:35:41,136
You are a criminal,
a fugitive.

1668
01:35:41,219 --> 01:35:42,720
But worst of all...

1669
01:35:42,804 --> 01:35:44,556
you broke my heart, Wade.

1670
01:35:46,224 --> 01:35:47,267
Then you know what?

1671
01:35:47,350 --> 01:35:48,950
Your heart's in
the wrong place, big guy.

1672
01:35:50,145 --> 01:35:52,814
Doing the right thing
is sometimes messy...

1673
01:35:52,897 --> 01:35:56,234
and fucked up, and not
particularly convenient!

1674
01:35:56,317 --> 01:35:59,404
So stay here
in Chateau de Virgin...

1675
01:35:59,487 --> 01:36:01,614
while we go get our fuck on!

1676
01:36:04,784 --> 01:36:06,161
You're doing great.

1677
01:36:11,833 --> 01:36:13,293
So you wear
that helmet because

1678
01:36:13,376 --> 01:36:15,086
your brother
tries to read your mind?

1679
01:36:15,170 --> 01:36:18,381
Yeah, but he's in
a wheelchair, so even-steven.

1680
01:36:18,464 --> 01:36:20,925
Someone's coming.
It's Russell, sir.

1681
01:36:21,009 --> 01:36:22,927
And he's not alone.

1682
01:36:23,011 --> 01:36:24,679
Secure the children.

1683
01:36:27,098 --> 01:36:29,475
They will not replace us.

1684
01:36:29,893 --> 01:36:32,187
What do you say
we go fuck some shit up?

1685
01:36:32,729 --> 01:36:36,566
"Let's fuck some shit up"
is my legal middle name.

1686
01:36:39,903 --> 01:36:42,363
Watch my back.
I've got the old man.

1687
01:36:42,572 --> 01:36:44,115
Amen, brother.

1688
01:36:50,663 --> 01:36:52,165
Time to make the chimichangas.

1689
01:36:52,332 --> 01:36:53,958
30 seconds.

1690
01:36:54,584 --> 01:36:56,711
I finally know why I'm here.

1691
01:36:57,128 --> 01:36:59,047
I was raised in this place.

1692
01:36:59,130 --> 01:37:01,341
Well, not raised.
I was tortured.

1693
01:37:01,424 --> 01:37:04,254
Wow! It's your cosmic reason
for being here.

1694
01:37:04,270 --> 01:37:05,720
- Shall we?
- This is gonna be fun.

1695
01:37:05,722 --> 01:37:06,762
Yeah!

1696
01:37:06,846 --> 01:37:08,181
Hey! Been meaning
to ask you...

1697
01:37:08,264 --> 01:37:11,517
what's with the dirty,
disgusting hobo bear?

1698
01:37:11,601 --> 01:37:14,270
It's not dirt. It's the blood
of my dead daughter.

1699
01:37:14,812 --> 01:37:17,190
Are You Bear, God?
It's Me, Margaret.

1700
01:37:17,565 --> 01:37:18,942
Give me some.

1701
01:37:19,025 --> 01:37:20,526
They say
laughter heals anything...

1702
01:37:20,652 --> 01:37:21,736
except, of course, that.

1703
01:37:21,819 --> 01:37:23,029
We should just cue the music.

1704
01:37:48,179 --> 01:37:50,890
Welcome home, Russell.
We missed you.

1705
01:37:52,100 --> 01:37:53,101
Russell!

1706
01:37:53,184 --> 01:37:55,603
You don't need to do this!
Let's talk!

1707
01:37:56,646 --> 01:37:58,166
Why are you dressed
like the Unabomber?

1708
01:38:02,277 --> 01:38:03,278
That's why!

1709
01:38:03,361 --> 01:38:04,477
Told you this little fucker's
too far gone.

1710
01:38:04,487 --> 01:38:06,614
Zip it, Thanos!
We have a deal and you fuck...

1711
01:38:06,698 --> 01:38:08,658
Hey!

1712
01:38:09,200 --> 01:38:12,328
I'm gonna shove that
cab driver right up your ass.

1713
01:38:13,454 --> 01:38:15,623
My body and my hands
are so soft.

1714
01:38:15,707 --> 01:38:16,990
You should probably
head back to the car.

1715
01:38:17,000 --> 01:38:18,543
I think I'll head
back to the car.

1716
01:38:19,836 --> 01:38:22,505
It works best
when you pull the trigger.

1717
01:38:25,425 --> 01:38:26,718
That gun is amazing!

1718
01:38:28,052 --> 01:38:29,262
Say it!

1719
01:38:31,431 --> 01:38:34,434
You are an abomination!

1720
01:38:41,774 --> 01:38:45,028
Now, I'm gonna shove
the red guy up the old guy.

1721
01:38:45,111 --> 01:38:47,530
I believe him!
Every man for themselves!

1722
01:38:51,909 --> 01:38:52,994
Gotcha!

1723
01:38:53,786 --> 01:38:54,954
Beat it, midget!

1724
01:38:57,957 --> 01:39:00,668
Hey, big guy,
the sun's getting real low!

1725
01:39:01,085 --> 01:39:02,170
Oh, shit fuck!

1726
01:39:16,059 --> 01:39:17,643
Come here, beautiful.

1727
01:39:25,401 --> 01:39:26,527
Whoo!

1728
01:39:35,745 --> 01:39:36,829
Say it!

1729
01:41:00,288 --> 01:41:01,372
You came for me.

1730
01:41:01,456 --> 01:41:02,874
I'm not giving up on you,

1731
01:41:02,957 --> 01:41:05,042
and you are not
giving up on that boy.

1732
01:41:05,126 --> 01:41:07,128
Who says that rules
aren't meant to be broken?

1733
01:41:07,211 --> 01:41:09,464
It's time to fight dirty.

1734
01:41:09,630 --> 01:41:10,965
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.

1735
01:41:11,048 --> 01:41:13,801
Hey! Pick on someone
your own size!

1736
01:41:13,885 --> 01:41:15,928
That's such
a you thing to say!

1737
01:41:16,012 --> 01:41:17,597
Go get him, tiger!

1738
01:41:18,014 --> 01:41:19,891
Big CGI fight coming up!

1739
01:41:42,955 --> 01:41:44,290
He's doing great.

1740
01:41:44,373 --> 01:41:45,583
Say it!

1741
01:41:49,754 --> 01:41:51,172
- Russell.
- Bingo!

1742
01:41:56,552 --> 01:41:58,513
You see that bus?

1743
01:41:58,596 --> 01:41:59,796
I'm gonna
shove it up your ass.

1744
01:42:03,184 --> 01:42:05,144
That's right!
I'm fighting dirty!

1745
01:42:06,521 --> 01:42:07,480
Oh, great!

1746
01:42:07,563 --> 01:42:08,638
There they are!
Those freaks!

1747
01:42:08,648 --> 01:42:10,408
A bunch of armed
pedophiles in nursing shoes.

1748
01:42:10,691 --> 01:42:12,360
Can I have
one of those guns?

1749
01:42:12,902 --> 01:42:14,570
No.
That's fine.

1750
01:42:14,737 --> 01:42:16,572
Get off this property,
mutant scum!

1751
01:42:16,739 --> 01:42:17,899
I'm just gonna
use this brick.

1752
01:42:18,491 --> 01:42:19,492
Maximum effort.

1753
01:42:25,623 --> 01:42:27,373
Who says you
can't go home again?

1754
01:42:36,500 --> 01:42:38,000
Oh!

1755
01:42:44,517 --> 01:42:45,517
Yeah!

1756
01:42:47,728 --> 01:42:49,063
Say it.

1757
01:42:49,438 --> 01:42:52,483
Say what you said
every time you tortured me!

1758
01:42:53,025 --> 01:42:54,026
Say it!

1759
01:42:54,110 --> 01:42:57,113
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand!

1760
01:42:58,322 --> 01:42:59,949
Blessed are the wicked...

1761
01:43:00,491 --> 01:43:01,701
who are healed...

1762
01:43:02,201 --> 01:43:03,703
b'! my hand.

1763
01:43:21,762 --> 01:43:23,472
You commie motherfucker!

1764
01:43:50,541 --> 01:43:52,251
Oh, my God.
Did you feel that, too?

1765
01:43:53,127 --> 01:43:55,338
Only best buddies
execute pedophiles together.

1766
01:43:58,215 --> 01:44:00,426
You got 30 seconds,
you jabbering butt plug!

1767
01:44:00,593 --> 01:44:01,802
Now we're getting it.

1768
01:44:06,515 --> 01:44:08,726
I need a bus
to get you all out of here.

1769
01:44:14,065 --> 01:44:15,107
Orphans.

1770
01:44:16,275 --> 01:44:17,485
Oh, geez.

1771
01:44:18,903 --> 01:44:21,489
It's time to burn
for what you've done!

1772
01:44:21,656 --> 01:44:24,158
A child should not be burdened
with such power!

1773
01:44:32,958 --> 01:44:34,043
Russell! Wait!

1774
01:44:40,049 --> 01:44:41,342
Oh!

1775
01:44:48,557 --> 01:44:50,557
Wait! He hasn't killed
anyone yet!

1776
01:44:50,600 --> 01:44:52,750
- What more do you need to see?
- Don't you fucking dare!

1777
01:44:52,770 --> 01:44:53,854
He's just a kid!

1778
01:44:54,021 --> 01:44:55,898
Tick, took. Meter's running!

1779
01:45:08,619 --> 01:45:11,664
I'm gonna melt you down
and make a cock ring.

1780
01:45:32,059 --> 01:45:34,679
- I told you! Leave me alone!
- Come on!

1781
01:45:35,229 --> 01:45:36,355
Listen to me!

1782
01:45:59,587 --> 01:46:01,213
That's how we do it

1783
01:46:01,297 --> 01:46:02,757
in Mother Russia.

1784
01:46:05,092 --> 01:46:07,511
They say millennials are
the hardest to reach.

1785
01:46:08,888 --> 01:46:12,099
Oh, no.
You're doing amazing.

1786
01:46:13,434 --> 01:46:15,936
Damn, it feels good
to be a gangsta!

1787
01:46:16,353 --> 01:46:18,063
Go home, Wade!

1788
01:46:18,230 --> 01:46:20,065
You're ruining everything!

1789
01:46:25,404 --> 01:46:26,614
I'm getting good at this shit.

1790
01:46:26,781 --> 01:46:27,823
Go, go, go!

1791
01:46:31,327 --> 01:46:33,162
He dies tonight, Wade.

1792
01:46:33,329 --> 01:46:34,872
You can't stop me!

1793
01:46:35,831 --> 01:46:37,581
He even runs
like a fucking pervert.

1794
01:46:37,750 --> 01:46:40,550
Like an online predator
who lost his laptop.

1795
01:46:41,921 --> 01:46:43,321
There's one bullet left
in that gun.

1796
01:46:43,464 --> 01:46:45,344
Wait, wait, wait!
Please, just give me a second!

1797
01:46:45,508 --> 01:46:46,842
I got this.

1798
01:46:47,009 --> 01:46:49,129
- Russell!
- Stay back! Go home, Wade!

1799
01:46:49,303 --> 01:46:51,430
Let's talk. It doesn't
have to go this way!

1800
01:46:52,014 --> 01:46:53,307
That piece of shit...

1801
01:46:53,724 --> 01:46:55,364
he deserves to die
for what he did to you.

1802
01:46:55,518 --> 01:46:58,896
He hurt you badly.
Makes you wanna hurt others.

1803
01:46:59,772 --> 01:47:01,440
But if you kill him, he wins.

1804
01:47:01,607 --> 01:47:05,110
You become everything
he says you are, but worse.

1805
01:47:05,528 --> 01:47:06,987
You're just a kid.

1806
01:47:07,571 --> 01:47:09,198
You don't wanna hurt anyone.

1807
01:47:09,365 --> 01:47:10,491
How do you know what I want?

1808
01:47:10,658 --> 01:47:12,284
Because I've been inside you.

1809
01:47:12,952 --> 01:47:14,245
That came out wrong.

1810
01:47:14,870 --> 01:47:16,455
I've been inside your shoes.

1811
01:47:16,622 --> 01:47:18,374
Which is also off-putting.

1812
01:47:18,541 --> 01:47:19,959
It's not a great analogy.

1813
01:47:20,042 --> 01:47:21,460
The point is...

1814
01:47:21,919 --> 01:47:23,587
there are people...

1815
01:47:23,671 --> 01:47:26,590
There are people
in this fucking world...

1816
01:47:26,757 --> 01:47:29,343
besides him,
who will treat you right.

1817
01:47:29,510 --> 01:47:32,137
It isn't too late.
Don't do it.

1818
01:47:37,685 --> 01:47:40,062
I never should've left
you there.

1819
01:47:41,814 --> 01:47:43,691
I never should've left you
in that prison.

1820
01:47:50,781 --> 01:47:52,074
I can't trust you.

1821
01:47:53,784 --> 01:47:56,161
I can't trust anybody!

1822
01:48:05,170 --> 01:48:06,380
Wonderful kid.

1823
01:48:06,881 --> 01:48:08,424
You can't stop me, Wade!

1824
01:48:10,676 --> 01:48:12,803
I got one more idea.

1825
01:48:12,970 --> 01:48:15,848
It's just a really bad one,
even for me.

1826
01:48:15,931 --> 01:48:17,099
Wade, what are you doing?

1827
01:48:17,182 --> 01:48:18,902
All right. This is for
all the marbles, kid!

1828
01:48:19,602 --> 01:48:21,312
You're gonna kill
someone today...

1829
01:48:21,729 --> 01:48:23,022
Blessed are the wicked...

1830
01:48:23,188 --> 01:48:25,107
...then it's gotta be me.

1831
01:48:26,191 --> 01:48:28,110
...who are healed by my hand!

1832
01:48:31,238 --> 01:48:33,657
Fuck this!

1833
01:49:34,385 --> 01:49:37,346
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.

1834
01:49:42,351 --> 01:49:43,852
Oh, that's not good.

1835
01:49:45,437 --> 01:49:46,855
No, sir.

1836
01:49:54,488 --> 01:49:57,408
You sacrificed yourself
for me.

1837
01:49:57,825 --> 01:49:58,951
Yeah.

1838
01:49:59,034 --> 01:50:01,245
And it was the best thing
I ever did.

1839
01:50:03,205 --> 01:50:05,290
I told you
I care about you.

1840
01:50:05,374 --> 01:50:07,126
You're a good kid, Russell.

1841
01:50:08,836 --> 01:50:09,920
Hey.

1842
01:50:11,213 --> 01:50:12,423
The bear.

1843
01:50:12,506 --> 01:50:13,882
It worked.

1844
01:50:20,848 --> 01:50:22,349
Because of you.

1845
01:50:22,516 --> 01:50:24,810
No, Wade, because of you.

1846
01:50:25,686 --> 01:50:27,730
Stop, stop, stop!

1847
01:50:27,813 --> 01:50:28,981
Stop!

1848
01:50:30,149 --> 01:50:32,693
Just let it happen, okay?

1849
01:50:33,152 --> 01:50:36,071
I guess my heart was finally
in the right place.

1850
01:50:36,905 --> 01:50:39,324
That riddle
is so fucked up.

1851
01:50:44,121 --> 01:50:46,415
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

1852
01:50:46,582 --> 01:50:47,708
Don't be. Don't be.

1853
01:50:47,791 --> 01:50:49,711
I've been trying to make
this happen for a while.

1854
01:50:50,210 --> 01:50:51,754
Please, just don't leave me.

1855
01:50:51,920 --> 01:50:53,422
I don't wanna die
without an audience.

1856
01:50:53,589 --> 01:50:55,090
We are not going anywhere.

1857
01:50:55,257 --> 01:50:57,342
Oh, God, I hope
the Academy is watching.

1858
01:50:57,426 --> 01:50:58,552
Just rest, okay?

1859
01:51:00,387 --> 01:51:01,472
Papa.

1860
01:51:03,682 --> 01:51:05,642
Papa, can you hear me?

1861
01:51:07,895 --> 01:51:13,901
Papa, can you find me
in the night?

1862
01:51:35,172 --> 01:51:36,423
Before I go...

1863
01:51:36,965 --> 01:51:38,675
Sorry, I got a bit more in me.

1864
01:51:39,259 --> 01:51:40,385
Domino.

1865
01:51:40,552 --> 01:51:45,057
I want you to have
my Adventure Time watch.

1866
01:51:47,643 --> 01:51:50,521
Turns out
that I'm the lucky one.

1867
01:51:51,271 --> 01:51:52,397
Thank you.

1868
01:51:53,732 --> 01:51:56,652
Hey, Sabrina,
the Teenage Witch.

1869
01:51:57,027 --> 01:51:59,196
I liked you better
with your hair short.

1870
01:51:59,363 --> 01:52:00,531
Think everyone did.

1871
01:52:01,323 --> 01:52:04,034
- Hi, Yukio.
- Hi, Wade!

1872
01:52:06,078 --> 01:52:07,162
And you...

1873
01:52:07,704 --> 01:52:08,831
Chrome Bone.

1874
01:52:09,748 --> 01:52:12,126
I haven't always been
the best friend to you.

1875
01:52:12,709 --> 01:52:14,962
But you've always been
that to me.

1876
01:52:15,045 --> 01:52:16,421
So thank you.

1877
01:52:18,590 --> 01:52:20,175
Say "fuck" for me.

1878
01:52:21,009 --> 01:52:22,261
Just once. Come on,

1879
01:52:22,344 --> 01:52:23,929
we'll do it together.
It's no big deal.

1880
01:52:24,012 --> 01:52:27,015
Here we go. One, two, three.
F... F... F...

1881
01:52:27,099 --> 01:52:28,100
Fuck.

1882
01:52:28,267 --> 01:52:31,603
Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.

1883
01:52:32,938 --> 01:52:35,190
And you, Cable.

1884
01:52:36,066 --> 01:52:39,736
You get back to your family.
You tell 'em Wade says hi.

1885
01:52:40,612 --> 01:52:43,824
And promise me.
Promise me one thing.

1886
01:52:44,283 --> 01:52:45,659
That you'll start
judging people...

1887
01:52:45,742 --> 01:52:47,077
not by the color
of their skin,

1888
01:52:47,161 --> 01:52:49,037
but by the content
of their character.

1889
01:52:49,788 --> 01:52:51,373
- Jesus.
- R-Dog?

1890
01:52:52,583 --> 01:52:54,501
There you are. Hey!

1891
01:52:55,085 --> 01:52:56,837
You're a superhero now, bubba.

1892
01:52:57,337 --> 01:53:00,299
That's why it's high time
that you had a super suit.

1893
01:53:00,382 --> 01:53:01,758
This one is yours.

1894
01:53:01,842 --> 01:53:03,552
You might wanna
get it steam cleaned.

1895
01:53:03,635 --> 01:53:05,012
Especially around the pants.

1896
01:53:05,095 --> 01:53:06,805
And let it out
a little in the waist.

1897
01:53:07,764 --> 01:53:08,765
But, hey.

1898
01:53:09,808 --> 01:53:10,893
Look.

1899
01:53:11,185 --> 01:53:13,812
Family is not an F-word.

1900
01:53:14,563 --> 01:53:15,856
All right?

1901
01:53:15,939 --> 01:53:17,816
There's one out there
for you.

1902
01:53:18,400 --> 01:53:20,110
Just keep looking, okay?

1903
01:53:23,614 --> 01:53:26,366
Guys, for a second there...

1904
01:53:27,201 --> 01:53:29,328
we made a pretty good team.

1905
01:53:44,384 --> 01:53:46,386
Oh, it's so hard to go.

1906
01:53:47,888 --> 01:53:50,265
I just love being around
you guys so much.

1907
01:53:51,350 --> 01:53:52,601
So, so much.

1908
01:53:53,310 --> 01:53:54,645
Mmm.

1909
01:53:54,728 --> 01:53:56,897
No, I can feel it now.
Here it comes, yeah.

1910
01:53:57,606 --> 01:54:01,360
I feel the soul
exiting the husk.

1911
01:54:01,443 --> 01:54:02,444
Yeah.

1912
01:54:04,321 --> 01:54:06,156
Can you see it?

1913
01:54:06,865 --> 01:54:09,034
Do you see
that beautiful bright light?

1914
01:54:10,494 --> 01:54:11,662
There it is.

1915
01:54:17,918 --> 01:54:19,127
Oh, that's the sun.

1916
01:54:19,211 --> 01:54:21,046
Don't stare
directly into that.

1917
01:54:21,129 --> 01:54:22,547
I just have a few final words.

1918
01:54:24,800 --> 01:54:26,176
Woodpecker.

1919
01:54:26,969 --> 01:54:28,303
Gingivitis.

1920
01:54:30,347 --> 01:54:31,723
Codswallop.

1921
01:54:36,061 --> 01:54:38,021
Do You Want to
Build a Snowman?

1922
01:55:53,013 --> 01:55:54,181
Sorry I'm late.

1923
01:55:54,264 --> 01:55:55,932
There was a bunch

1924
01:55:55,950 --> 01:55:57,382
of handicapable children
who were stuck in a tree.

1925
01:55:57,392 --> 01:55:58,602
- No.
- No.

1926
01:55:59,686 --> 01:56:02,356
- But I did have to help a kid.
- Yeah.

1927
01:56:02,814 --> 01:56:04,691
- He's got a terrible name.
- It's just awful.

1928
01:56:04,775 --> 01:56:05,975
- Ugh.
- I tried to tell him.

1929
01:56:08,111 --> 01:56:09,529
Is this heaven?

1930
01:56:10,405 --> 01:56:11,615
It is now.

1931
01:56:15,077 --> 01:56:16,953
I am so sorry.

1932
01:56:17,788 --> 01:56:19,122
It's okay.

1933
01:56:38,975 --> 01:56:40,852
I missed you so much.

1934
01:56:46,441 --> 01:56:48,110
What is it? What's wrong?

1935
01:56:50,028 --> 01:56:51,530
It's not time.

1936
01:56:52,155 --> 01:56:54,032
What do you mean
it's not time?

1937
01:56:54,199 --> 01:56:55,700
I'm here, I made it.

1938
01:56:55,867 --> 01:56:57,537
- You can't stay.
- No, no, no.

1939
01:56:57,619 --> 01:57:00,247
I'm staying. I'm not going
anywhere without you.

1940
01:57:00,330 --> 01:57:01,331
It's okay.

1941
01:57:01,832 --> 01:57:04,668
There's a time for us.
It's just not now.

1942
01:57:05,669 --> 01:57:08,129
- They need you.
- Who?

1943
01:57:10,173 --> 01:57:11,466
Your F-word.

1944
01:57:12,717 --> 01:57:13,718
Why?

1945
01:57:13,802 --> 01:57:14,803
You'll find out.

1946
01:57:16,054 --> 01:57:17,597
It's all right. I'll be here.

1947
01:57:18,974 --> 01:57:21,101
It's pretty fucking
awesome up here.

1948
01:57:21,810 --> 01:57:23,645
I can have anything I want.

1949
01:57:23,728 --> 01:57:25,856
Can every day be
International Women's Day?

1950
01:57:25,939 --> 01:57:27,315
It is heaven.

1951
01:57:27,524 --> 01:57:28,775
I love you.

1952
01:57:31,278 --> 01:57:34,030
I know. I love you, too.

1953
01:57:34,614 --> 01:57:36,032
Now, go.

1954
01:57:36,908 --> 01:57:38,910
Go on. Go, get out of here.

1955
01:57:39,953 --> 01:57:40,954
Go.

1956
01:57:43,748 --> 01:57:44,749
Hey!

1957
01:57:47,752 --> 01:57:49,921
Kiss me
like you miss me, Red.

1958
01:57:50,547 --> 01:57:51,673
Well, come here.

1959
01:58:11,026 --> 01:58:12,652
Don't fuck Elvis.

1960
01:58:12,777 --> 01:58:14,527
- Ooh, too late.
- I'm sorry?

1961
01:58:24,039 --> 01:58:25,248
Time to make the chimichangas.

1962
01:58:25,332 --> 01:58:26,416
30 seconds.

1963
01:58:26,500 --> 01:58:27,709
Hey. Been meaning
to ask you...

1964
01:58:27,792 --> 01:58:30,253
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?

1965
01:58:30,337 --> 01:58:32,088
It's my daughter's teddy bear.

1966
01:58:32,547 --> 01:58:33,840
Her name's Hope.

1967
01:58:34,132 --> 01:58:35,258
Well...

1968
01:58:36,092 --> 01:58:37,969
What are you doing?

1969
01:58:38,053 --> 01:58:39,638
Somebody swiped right.

1970
01:58:52,442 --> 01:58:54,819
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.

1971
01:58:58,156 --> 01:58:59,908
You sacrificed
yourself for me.

1972
01:58:59,991 --> 01:59:01,493
It would seem I...

1973
01:59:03,662 --> 01:59:04,955
Huh?

1974
01:59:06,081 --> 01:59:08,416
Genuine, high-grade lead.

1975
01:59:10,335 --> 01:59:13,338
You time-sliding
son of a bitch!

1976
01:59:13,421 --> 01:59:15,006
You did this for me?

1977
01:59:16,883 --> 01:59:19,386
Wait. You can't go back.

1978
01:59:20,011 --> 01:59:21,263
You used
the last of your fuel.

1979
01:59:21,346 --> 01:59:23,056
What about your girl,
your wife?

1980
01:59:23,139 --> 01:59:26,393
Now, my family's safe.
And I didn't do it for you.

1981
01:59:27,852 --> 01:59:30,272
No, I'm gonna stick around
for a while...

1982
01:59:30,355 --> 01:59:31,565
and make sure the world

1983
01:59:31,648 --> 01:59:33,358
doesn't shit itself
into oblivion.

1984
01:59:34,067 --> 01:59:36,945
No. You did it for me.

1985
01:59:37,696 --> 01:59:39,030
No, I didn't.

1986
01:59:39,197 --> 01:59:40,567
- You did.
- I really didn't.

1987
01:59:40,600 --> 01:59:42,500
- Pretty sure you did.
- No, I'm positive I didn't.

1988
01:59:42,534 --> 01:59:44,286
Fine. All right,
let's flip a coin. Okay?

1989
01:59:44,369 --> 01:59:47,080
Heads, you did it for me.
Tails, you did it for me.

1990
01:59:47,163 --> 01:59:49,583
I'm not even gonna look,
because you did it for me.

1991
01:59:50,000 --> 01:59:51,000
Say it again.

1992
01:59:51,167 --> 01:59:52,567
- He did it for me.
- Jesus.

1993
01:59:52,570 --> 01:59:54,620
- We must get the collar off.
- Forget it. It's no use.

1994
01:59:54,629 --> 01:59:56,429
These collars
don't just come off.

1995
01:59:56,450 --> 01:59:57,550
Wade.

1996
01:59:58,133 --> 01:59:59,759
I have an idea.

1997
02:00:00,093 --> 02:00:02,178
No, no, no!
Let's not do that. Please!

1998
02:00:02,262 --> 02:00:04,639
I'd rather die of cancer.
Let's just...

1999
02:00:04,723 --> 02:00:07,851
Oh, God! They do say the pen
is grosser than the sword.

2000
02:00:07,934 --> 02:00:10,186
We need the code.

2001
02:00:10,270 --> 02:00:12,147
Try, uh, seven?

2002
02:00:12,230 --> 02:00:13,773
Settle down,
Captain Lucky.

2003
02:00:13,857 --> 02:00:15,275
It's not gonna be one number.

2004
02:00:15,358 --> 02:00:16,518
Oh, God, that's lazy writing.

2005
02:00:17,444 --> 02:00:18,778
I still got it.

2006
02:00:21,823 --> 02:00:23,783
Put that back
in your prison wallet.

2007
02:00:25,493 --> 02:00:27,370
I don't know how to thank you.

2008
02:00:27,454 --> 02:00:28,955
But I do know how to hug you.

2009
02:00:29,414 --> 02:00:30,664
- No.
- Yes.

2010
02:00:30,749 --> 02:00:32,208
Here we go. Bring it in.

2011
02:00:32,292 --> 02:00:33,293
Come on.

2012
02:00:33,418 --> 02:00:34,711
Pelvis to pelvis.

2013
02:00:34,878 --> 02:00:36,129
Let's go tip to tip.

2014
02:00:36,296 --> 02:00:38,798
There we go.
The kids call this docking.

2015
02:00:40,550 --> 02:00:41,676
Is there a knife in my dick?

2016
02:00:41,700 --> 02:00:44,000
- There's a knife in your dick.
- I'm just gonna back up now.

2017
02:00:44,012 --> 02:00:45,847
- Yeah, yeah.
- No need to go full Yentl.

2018
02:00:45,930 --> 02:00:48,600
Gonna pretend
like that never happened.

2019
02:00:48,767 --> 02:00:50,685
Let's go home, Russell.

2020
02:00:54,356 --> 02:00:56,107
All you dirty mutants

2021
02:00:56,191 --> 02:00:58,610
are gonna rot in hell
with the boy!

2022
02:00:58,777 --> 02:01:01,738
Your souls
are beyond redemption!

2023
02:01:01,905 --> 02:01:03,156
Let's see your soul, perv!

2024
02:01:03,239 --> 02:01:06,034
No, no! No! No more!
We're better than that!

2025
02:01:06,117 --> 02:01:07,285
We're better than him!

2026
02:01:07,369 --> 02:01:10,038
No more senseless violence!
No more bloodshed!

2027
02:01:10,121 --> 02:01:11,665
We'll let karma
take care of him.

2028
02:01:11,748 --> 02:01:14,751
The day of reckoning is here!

2029
02:01:24,094 --> 02:01:26,096
I'm gonna miss him.
He seemed great.

2030
02:01:26,221 --> 02:01:27,389
Whoo!

2031
02:01:27,472 --> 02:01:28,973
Courage, motherfuckers!

2032
02:01:29,140 --> 02:01:30,392
And karma, motherfucker.

2033
02:01:30,475 --> 02:01:32,092
I could hear you
coming the last 30 seconds.

2034
02:01:32,102 --> 02:01:34,062
I could barely keep
a straight face.

2035
02:01:34,145 --> 02:01:35,939
I want some more.

2036
02:01:36,106 --> 02:01:37,774
I bet you do, Brown Panther.

2037
02:01:37,857 --> 02:01:40,860
We should leave
before Fuckernaut wakes up.

2038
02:01:41,444 --> 02:01:43,571
Good call.
You guys coming with us?

2039
02:01:43,738 --> 02:01:45,657
No, we'll get the kids
back to the mansion.

2040
02:01:45,740 --> 02:01:47,033
Besides, we're X-Men.

2041
02:01:47,325 --> 02:01:49,869
No, you're X-People.

2042
02:01:50,036 --> 02:01:51,329
You're exhausting.

2043
02:01:51,413 --> 02:01:53,081
I see what you did there.
Puns.

2044
02:01:53,248 --> 02:01:54,624
Our door's always open.

2045
02:01:54,708 --> 02:01:56,468
That's kind, but
I'm not ready to date again.

2046
02:01:56,543 --> 02:01:57,544
Let alone two women.

2047
02:01:58,670 --> 02:02:00,296
God, you're a douche.

2048
02:02:00,422 --> 02:02:02,507
- Bye, Wade!
- Bye, Yukio!

2049
02:02:05,260 --> 02:02:06,302
What do you get

2050
02:02:06,386 --> 02:02:07,544
when you take
eight feet of chrome...

2051
02:02:07,554 --> 02:02:08,680
one pinch of courage...

2052
02:02:08,763 --> 02:02:09,973
a cup of good luck...

2053
02:02:10,056 --> 02:02:11,558
a dab of racism...

2054
02:02:11,641 --> 02:02:12,809
a splash of diabetes...

2055
02:02:12,892 --> 02:02:15,228
and a wheelbarrow
full of stage four cancer?

2056
02:02:15,645 --> 02:02:17,814
Answer: a family.

2057
02:02:18,398 --> 02:02:21,484
See? I didn't lie
what kind of film this was.

2058
02:02:21,568 --> 02:02:22,934
If there's anything
you take away today...

2059
02:02:22,944 --> 02:02:26,072
other than the need to Google,
"What the fuck is dubstep?"...

2060
02:02:26,156 --> 02:02:28,950
it's that we all need
to belong to someone.

2061
02:04:26,025 --> 02:04:27,735
How something
so small generates

2062
02:04:27,819 --> 02:04:29,362
enough energy
to reverse time is...

2063
02:04:29,445 --> 02:04:31,781
Oh, just fix it, Eleven,

2064
02:04:31,865 --> 02:04:34,117
or I'll take it
to the Genius Bar.

2065
02:04:34,200 --> 02:04:35,441
Cable's gonna kill you
when he finds out.

2066
02:04:35,451 --> 02:04:36,452
Never heard of him.

2067
02:04:36,536 --> 02:04:37,996
Why do you think
I'm helping him?

2068
02:04:39,289 --> 02:04:41,499
The Lord works
in mysterious ways,

2069
02:04:41,583 --> 02:04:43,835
don't I?
A good day.

2070
02:04:44,586 --> 02:04:45,587
Bye, Wade!

2071
02:04:46,087 --> 02:04:47,088
Bye, Yukio!

2072
02:04:48,423 --> 02:04:50,633
That was probably a bad idea.

2073
02:04:50,967 --> 02:04:52,093
What have we done?

2074
02:05:10,528 --> 02:05:12,530
I hope we sharpened
the cream cheese spreader.

2075
02:05:22,707 --> 02:05:24,167
I'll be right back!

2076
02:05:26,127 --> 02:05:28,671
We're definitely naming
our kid Cher!

2077
02:05:29,047 --> 02:05:30,048
Whoo!

2078
02:05:31,883 --> 02:05:33,134
Peter!

2079
02:05:33,217 --> 02:05:34,761
Whoo! X-Force!

2080
02:05:34,844 --> 02:05:37,055
Walk away! Just walk away!

2081
02:05:37,931 --> 02:05:39,761
- But we're X-Force!
- Nope! We're not.

2082
02:05:39,974 --> 02:05:41,309
X-Force is just
a marketing tool

2083
02:05:41,392 --> 02:05:42,644
designed by Fox executives...

2084
02:05:42,727 --> 02:05:44,395
to keep Josh Brolin employed.

2085
02:05:44,479 --> 02:05:45,772
It doesn't exist.

2086
02:05:46,022 --> 02:05:49,233
All right, well,
this has been pretty scary!

2087
02:05:49,400 --> 02:05:50,944
And I need to feed my cat!

2088
02:05:51,110 --> 02:05:53,488
Go home, Sugarbear. Go home.

2089
02:05:53,655 --> 02:05:56,908
Okay. Will you give
Domino my email?

2090
02:06:06,084 --> 02:06:07,961
Wade, is that you?

2091
02:06:10,213 --> 02:06:11,547
I guess Stryker finally

2092
02:06:11,631 --> 02:06:13,007
figured out
how to shut you up.

2093
02:06:19,597 --> 02:06:22,850
Hey! It's me!
Don't scratch!

2094
02:06:23,017 --> 02:06:25,019
Just cleaning up
the timelines!

2095
02:06:25,103 --> 02:06:28,898
Look, eventually you're
going to hang up the claws...

2096
02:06:28,982 --> 02:06:31,234
and it's gonna make
a lot of people very sad.

2097
02:06:31,609 --> 02:06:32,610
Huh?

2098
02:06:32,694 --> 02:06:34,394
But one day, your old pal
Wade's gonna ask you...

2099
02:06:34,404 --> 02:06:36,364
to get back
in the saddle again.

2100
02:06:37,240 --> 02:06:39,784
And when he does,
say yes.

2101
02:06:41,035 --> 02:06:42,996
Oh, right.

2102
02:06:43,913 --> 02:06:45,206
Love you!

2103
02:06:47,583 --> 02:06:49,210
Goddamn, that's beautiful.

2104
02:06:56,592 --> 02:06:58,428
You're welcome, Canada.

2105
02:07:10,940 --> 02:07:12,108
Boy howdy.

2106
02:07:13,985 --> 02:07:16,863
Hi. This is a toughie.

2107
02:07:16,946 --> 02:07:17,947
Yeesh.

2108
02:07:18,239 --> 02:07:20,658
Oh, yes. You're already
practicing your salute, huh?

2109
02:07:21,868 --> 02:07:24,662
Yes, you are. Well, we'll
take care of that, won't we?

2110
02:07:24,746 --> 02:07:27,540
Jesus Christ! This is
so much harder than I thought.

2111
02:07:28,374 --> 02:07:29,959
Oh, I'm going to hell.

2112
02:07:30,043 --> 02:07:31,627
That makes two of us.

2113
02:07:31,794 --> 02:07:32,879
You can do this.

2114
02:07:33,046 --> 02:07:36,049
This is crazy. This is crazy.
This is crazy. This is crazy.

2115
02:07:36,132 --> 02:07:37,300
All right.

2116
02:07:44,640 --> 02:07:46,559
Maximum effort.

2117
02:13:24,730 --> 02:13:26,982
That's okay.
Let me see here.

2118
02:13:27,066 --> 02:13:28,526
Oh, God.

2119
02:13:28,609 --> 02:13:30,528
That's why you're
such a little bastard.

2120
02:13:30,611 --> 02:13:32,530
No one's ever changed you.

2121
02:13:33,030 --> 02:13:35,741
Yeah, you got a big, old
stinky in there, don't you?

2122
02:13:35,825 --> 02:13:38,285
God, it smells like
Hitler's anus...

2123
02:13:38,661 --> 02:13:41,205
which would makes sense,
wouldn't it? Yeah.

2124
02:13:41,288 --> 02:13:42,415
I think we both know

2125
02:13:42,498 --> 02:13:43,697
I don't have
what it takes to do this...

2126
02:13:43,707 --> 02:13:46,085
so I'm just gonna change
your diaper real quick...

2127
02:13:46,168 --> 02:13:48,119
and then I'm gonna come back
with my friend, Cable.

2128
02:13:48,129 --> 02:13:49,463
He loves killing kids.