NaCl - Warrior Fuccboi Bash (WFD)

>Oh, what a day... What a lovely day!
>And now you're walking through the streets at night after a wild night with Sunset and Dash.
>But man, that lay was absolute perfection.
>Whatever, once you go back to school it'll be awkward and all.
>Who cares though, you're probably the most alpha guy in school now, considering you had a threesome with Cardio bunny and curvy bacon deluxe.

>You take a deep breathe, basking in the night and it's cool winds, savouring your victory and contemplating how you'll deal with the situation on Monday.
>As you take the long, scenic route back home, two voices can be heard in the distance in the direction of the park.
>One of them is quite familiar, with the familiar posh undertones and "darlings" every sentence or whatever, so you assume it's probably Rarity.
>The other voice is quite the opposite, definetly not Canterlotian and more remniscent of one of those folk who hand out CDs of their "newest rap" on the street, you believe it was called a "Tapemix" or something.
>Rarity may or may not be in trouble with this guy, and that is a big no-no for you, she may not be one of your closer friends, but you're not the kind of person to leave her to getting in trouble this late at night.
>If she got raped or mugged, it'd kill your vibe.
>That's not groovy, baby!

>Rushing towards the park, the other voice gets angrier and angrier at Rarity, which only leads to her tone getting smoother and softer, as if she's trying to calm the other person down.
>Eventually you spot two figures, and walk towards them.
>They both look at you, as you get a better look on them.
>Rarity's there, looking as fancy and fashionable as she usually does, but the more interesting character is the person beside her.

>He's at least a head shorter than her and seems to be skinny and wiry, a disgusting unwashed face, along with a increasingly receding hairline and some torn up clothing.
>Alongside this, a heavy stench fills in the air of a mix of expired Taco Pell and fried chicken.
>Rarity stands next to him, looking uncomfortable as he wraps his hand around her, groping her rear and smiling smugly.
>He looks to you, causing his grin to widen even further.

>"Hello, Anon... I've been waiting for you."
>He's the first one to break the ice, and makes it awkward.
>"Alan, darling, you promised you'd leave him alone."
>He begins to frown and pulls out a hundred dollar bill from his wallet, handing it to her and shooing her away.
>She squees in happiness and gives him a kiss before departing, leaving just you and 'Alan'.
>You gaze at Alan and he stares right back.
>"Heh... You know what they say about the Abyss, Anon, and I'm staring right back at you."
>Christ, this fucking guy is creepy.
>He takes a few steps towards you.
>It'd be intimidating if he wasn't so short.
>And not such a chode.
>For someone who had a thing with Rarity, he dresses quite awfully - Some shitty old faded jeans, a worn out wife-beater and some varsity jacket with a chicken on it, probably his Dad's or something.
>"You're probably wondering who I am... Well, Anon, I'm you."
"What?"
>"I'm you, I'm your shadow!"
>He paces as he talks to you, trying to fuck with you or something.

"Have we met?"
>"No... Not yet, but this was all part of my master plan."
>He pulls out a rooster mask from his bag, and throws it towards you.
>"Tell me, Anon, do you like hurting other people?"
>You're so confused right now, what the hell is happening.
"Dude, what."
>He turns his back to you and unzips his hoodie, causing the wind to move his hoodie up in the air, as if mimicking the motion of a cape.
>"To meet beautiful girls, fall in love... Even have wild sex with them. You've always been with those girls, you don't know the pain of losing your own lovers."
>He sighs, and takes a deep breathe before continuing, as if pausing for dramatic effect.
>"Not yet, at least. You don't understand what those girls want... I do."
"Look, if something happened with Rarity, I'm so-"
>He interrupts you, continuing his speech.
>"I was born on the streets, in Detrot. I was still a child when I had my first beating. I was attacked by gangsters, Zigger gangsters. Torn from my friends at school, and my family unable to give me support, I changed... Gang warfare changed me. Everyday, I was beaten down by son of the top drug lord in Detrot, Ebony Flame."
"I'm sorry to hear that but can you please just leave me alone."
>"DON'T INTERRUPT ME, ANON! YOU'VE ALREADY TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME, LET ME HAVE THIS BEFORE I COMPLETE MY CRUSADE."
>You're left speechless by his sudden outburt of anger, and let him continue.
>"Heh, my apologies, sorry, I just have these random spouts of anger where I feel like I could just kill someone... Anyway, I came from the streets, everyday I would be beaten down by this gang for no reason, they would take everything from me, beat me down onto the cold, hard pavement of Detrot and always take my things... They even stole my first girlfriend from me... Everyday, I was hurt, until I turned nineteen."
>He pulls out a toy gun from his back pocket and points it at you.

>"When I was nineteen, my father bought me my first gun, and I had never felt so happy, it was time for my revenge. I went up to Ebony Flame's hideout and went to take my revenge, but I forgot my gun, so they ended up beating me down after I made my heroic speech... I-I'm still trying to pay off my medical bills, the Government in Detrot doesn't provide free healthcare like they do here."
>You notice a single tear drop from his face to the ground alongside his voice croaking a bit, but he carries on.
>"As I was being beaten down, I realized something. I wasn't being bullied because of Ebony Flame or his behaviour. After all, ziggers will be ziggers - They didn't do nothing at all to harm me, Ebony Flame is a good boy. But it's people like you, Anon, people like you that get all the girls, live comfortable lives and have never experienced true hardships, I realized that people like you are the reason I've suffered in life, and I've been doing research, Anon, all kinds of research!"
>He pulls out a folder from his bag... Wait, how much shit is in that bag, there isn't any continuity or actual logic behind Alan's story or motives! Oh well.
>"Anon Y. Mous, is liked by everyone at CHS, has a few enemies beause he stole their girlfriends... Dates all the pretty girls, has all the fun, and still has time to waste his days pissing people off on the internet, you really are the worst kind of scum, Anon..."
>You're speechless at the amount of shit this guy's gone through to take you down.
>"But whatever, Anon, my journey is almost at an end, I shall end your tyranny and make Canterlot great again. I have journeyed far, from Detrot to Canterlot, I shall break you and take everything from you, Anon. Rarity is already mine, so will Rainbow Dash, and Sunset Shimmer... All of your friends, I shall take and make them forget about you... So tell me, Anon, do you like hurting other people?"

>He turns around and points his toy gun at you, firing it, causing a small plastic bullet to hit your chest.
>Doesn't even hurt that much.
>Alan's face is in shock as he points the gun at himself.
>"That's...That's impossible, how did you manage to take a bullet from that gun!"
>Pointing it at himself, Alan fires it at himself at close range, causing one of the plastic bullets to hit his eye, he swears and begins to whimper as tears stream out from the eye that was shot at.
>"I want my m-mommy..."
>He looks up and realizes you're still here, and attempts to stop crying.
>"Do you see what you have done to me, Anon! Everything, you have taken from me... But no more!"
>He takes off his hoody, revealing his torso, clad in only a white vest - God, he looks like a hungry skeleton.
>Laughing uncontrollably, Alan adopts an irregular boxing stance.
>"I didn't need the gun anyway, I was born in darkness, molded by it, I didn't see the light till I was a young man, and by then it was nothing to me but blinding! I didn't just grow up in THE STREETS, ANON, I AM THE STREETS, I AM THE HOOD!"
>He starts barking uncontrollably and runs to a new spot, two feet away from you.
>Alan starts to swing uncontrollably at you, missing every blow.
>Constant grunts and high pitched screams follow every punch, until he screams so loudly he falls to knees and looks up at you.
>"You're strong, Anon... But I was just getting warmed up!"
>He suddenly drives his leg up to try and kick you, he misses by a few inches and loses his balance, falling back on the ground.
>You try your best to stifle your laughter causing his face to grow red with anger.
>"This was all part of my plan!"
>He attempts some crude pseudo break-dancing for a few seconds, before you hear a loud 'CRACK' noise followed by Alan screaming in pain.
>"My leg... Fuck! I mean, I see you've been preparing for this too, Anon, but destiny lies in my favor, it is time for my final special super attack!"

>He pulls out a pair of purple panties from his back pocket, with Rarity's signature on it.
>What the fuck.
>Alan puts it on his face and takes a heavy inhale of it, and begins to giggle wildly and punch his head.
>"As I thought... Rarity's panties suit me so perfectly, my strength is recovering faster than before! It suits me... It truly suits me!"
>He laughs maniacally and starts scratching the side of his head wildly, to the point where you see spots of blood on his fingers.
>At this point, the shock of whatever the hell is going on is so much to you, you feel like you're hallucinating.
>Not to mention that Alan suddenly has a golden glowing aura around him, as if he's on fire or something.
>Throwing away the panties, Alan looks at you, returning his same old cocky smile and says his signature catchphrase.
>"So tell me, Anon, do you like hurting other people?"
>Running up to you, he forms fists with both his hands and starts delivering rapid punches to your abdomen.
>Yet the force is so weak, you hardly even notice it.
>"I feel spectacular, in fact I almost feel like singing! I've lived all my life in the streets, I've defeated countless gangs and bad guys, and I've never felt this good before, and it's all thanks to the panties of some gold-digging slut! This is the greatest high!"
>The maniacal laughter returns and it's still annoying as fuck.
>His punches begin to increase in intensity, but you still stand your ground and shrug it off.
>"What's the matter, Anon, even if you manage to hold it off for this long, it's useless, useless, useless, useless, useless!"
>The word "useless" is uttered with every punch he delivers, which pisses you off to no end.
>You've been ignoring his taunts and punches his own time, too confused to even care about what is happening currently.

>"Are you even listening, Anon? Or are you too scared of me, YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME ANON, I AM FROM THE STREETS, I CANNOT BE DEFEATED, I AM THE HOOD, I AM THE STREETS, I AM THE ORIGINAL GANGSTER!"
>Sighing, you bring your arm just above his head, preparing to end this skirmish.
"Good grief."
>The uncaring tone of your voice sets Alan off, causing him to look up at you in confusion, allowing you to deliver your blow.
>You slam your shoulder down on his back, throwing him straight down.
>He scrambles himself back up, albeit dizzy and unable to hold his balance.
>"Is that all, Anon? You're just going to hit me once and walk away, you can't defeat me, I'M FROM THE STREETS, I AM DETROT, I CONSUMED EBONY FLAME, I AM THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER, I WILL KILL YOU, ANON! EVEN IF YOU DO BEAT ME, DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT BESIDES WHAT I'VE DONE, YOU'RE WORSE THAN I AM, YOU CAN'T HIDE IT FROM ME, I'VE READ THE FILES!"
"Look, no one said Anon Y. Mous was a nice guy, I beat the crap out of people all the time, to the point where some of them are still in the hospital. I've had teachers who've put me detention for no reason, so I've ended up having sex with them and making them never touch me again. If a guy's pissed me off or has beef with me, I end up either beating him down or stealing his girlfriend and walking out of the relationship. Heck, I've probably got a few illegitimate children that I've never met since I abandoned their mothers."
>You sigh and take a deep breathe, mimicking Alan in an attempt to piss him off.
"But even a bastard like me can spot true degeneracy when he see's it!"
>You pick him up by the hem of his shirt and bring your fist a few inches away from his face.
>Alan begins to chuckle awkwardly and defuse the situation, but his grave was dug the moment he attacked you.
>"Anon, come on, it was all just a joke, I'm a joker man, please Anon? ANON, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"

>Glancing at him with your poker face, you utter the line that breaks him.
"Tell me, Alan, do you like hurting other people?"
>His smile falters, leading to him scream.
>You smash your fist into his face, delivering punch after punch, you ignore the copious amounts of blood, snot and whatever else flying from his face as you punch him, his screams only drive you to punch more intensely.
>It only gets worse for him, as you drop him to the ground and time yourself perfectly, so that you drive your knee into his chest right as he's falling, causing him to fly back a metre or so.
>He attempts to stand up, only to get kicked back onto the ground by you.
>"B-but I'm from the streets... I was supposed to win..."
"Alan, there is only one reason why you lost, and that's because you pissed me off."

>Unknown number, whatever, you pick it up anyway.
>"Hello, is this Hotline Canterlot?"
"Wrong number."
>You hang up and continue on your way home.
>As you get to the exit, you notice Rarity standing there, probably waiting for Alan.
>She looks at you and smiles.
>"So... Did you beat him, darling?"
"Yeah, he'll be out cold for a bit."
>She smiles and hugs you.
>"I must thank you, you've finally got him off my back, he'll stop being so aggressive with me."
"Huh, what do you mean?"
>"Well, he found out about the man I liked, whom I wanted to keep a secret, but he blackmailed me with it, and I ended up basically being his fake girlfriend in public, I'm glad he didn't do anything besides slap my ass once."
"Good to hear, mind if I ask who the guy is?"
>She begins to blush and twirl her fingers around.
>"Actually... Well, it's you, Anon."
>This catches you by surprise.
"Well, that's something."
>"Yes, but now that's it out, would you be intereted in dinner sometime soon, dear? I've had my eye on you for a while and I'd really like to be more than friends with you, Anon."
>She blinks her eyes repeatedly, as if trying to seduce you.
>Jokes on her though.
"Fuck off, slut, I'm ALPHA, I'm on my own dick, bitch!"
>You stride away proudly, fucking over another bitch that wants your dick.
>Life is truly great as the Alpha.