WotR App Reviews

-----Alfheiðr-----

I think starting from the top and working my way down may have been a mistake, primarily because it meant I had to start with this app. I don’t mean that to say that I hate this app though, what I mean is I’m worried about starting with an app I’m a bit critical of, since it may make me look mean. So, if Alfheiðr’s player is here, please don’t take what I say personally, but I will speak honestly.

The first issue I see with this app is the idea that Alfheiðr is both a necromancer -and- a servant of Pharasma. Pharasma, who’s entirely -against- undead. I understand she’s not a cleric, so it’s not like she can fall for that or anything, and I’m also aware that she’s -supposed- to be a heretic. That would be fine, if her backstory didn’t also talk about her seeing Pharasma in visions, where Pharasma is still okay with her despite her going contrary to the faith. If I had to make a suggestion, I would think this situation would be -much- more interesting if “Pharasma” turned out to be an entirely different entity, such as Urgathoa or a demon lord, and they only appear as Pharasma to fool her. I think that might be something the app tries to convey, but if it’s trying to imply that then it didn’t really give enough of a concrete hint towards that.

Far more importantly, however, is the issue of how Alfheiðr would even get along with the party, or even with the other crusaders in general. It sounds like she intends to keep her necromancy deal hidden, but even if she does that, that leaves her without access to her whole schtick unless she blows her cover, which I imagine would be frustrating for her player. Of course if she intends to let the party know, that may be less of an issue. It kind of sounds like she intends to keep it a secret from the party too though. Additionally, the description that she acts “Lawful Neutral or Lawful Good” despite being Lawful Evil makes me wonder why exactly she’s Lawful Evil then. Is it because she casts spells with the Evil descriptor? Cause I’m wary of someone being evil -just- because they cast evil spells. Alignment bullshit is really subjective and honestly not really important though, so that’s just very minor personal gripes. How she intends to get along with and support the party is a far more important issue.

I’d also say that her relationship with Þórkætill currently feels kind of...well, nothing. It seems that one moment they’re traveling together, the next they’re apparently lovers. It seems sudden and out of nowhere, if her backstory didn’t outright say they were lovers, I’d honestly think he was just a friend she was sad to lose, so she brought him back.

The last little gripe I have is just the “rolling a twenty” joke in her backstory. Really, a very unimportant gripe, you can just as easily pin that on me being too “srs bsns” about apps.

So, now that I’ve pointed out the bad, I want to point out the good. I like the idea of a necromancer that has a pseudo-relationship with one of her minions, someone she couldn’t stand to lose so she brought him back, deluding herself into thinking the mindless skeleton that used to be her lover is still somehow sentient, and still loves her. I also like the idea of a necromancer in the Crusades; I know necromancy is nasty business and thus wouldn’t be looked at favorably, but it’s also mentioned that Mendev is a little bit desperate, and willing to accept people they normally wouldn’t (the specific example being tieflings) for the sake of fighting the demons, and is willing to use some of the demons own methods against them. So, I could see justification for a necromancer joining the crusade and finding some uneasy acceptance (or, more likely, stressed tolerance) there.

For suggestions, I would advice maybe elaborating a bit on Alfheiðr and Þórkætill’s relationship prior to his death. You know, flesh out their relationship some so they really feel like lost lovers, then her delusions about his skeleton will feel more tragic. I’d also suggest maybe hinting at the idea of “Pharasma” in her visions not quite being what she seems to be, assuming that’s the angle you meant to go for. Those would be the two biggest suggestions I’d make, along with maybe looking through her backstory and finding a way to justify Alfheiðr being a little more open about her powers, maybe not to the general public, but enough that she won’t have to hide the fact she can summon skeletons from the party.

Once again, I want to emphasize that I don’t intend to come off as mean when I review any of these, now or later on. I’d also like to say that these are just my opinions; You or someone else may think differently. I’m just speaking my mind and offering some helpful suggestions.



-----Noriel-----

So, I feel like I should preface this one with a disclaimer. Normally, I am highly skeptical of backstories that center around rape. In my opinion, it’s a very cheap trick to stir up drama (the un-fun kind, not the interesting kind), and is very rarely actually pulled off well. However, one of the campaign traits -was- being the unwilling subject in a demonic ritual, and one of the most powerful demon lords is a literal goddess of rape and monster-babies, so I’m not quite so skeptical here as I normally would be.

That said, I will say (and I hope I don’t sound too harsh here); There needs to be more meat to Noriel’s backstory. 80% of it is about her being a rape-captive, and the other 20% is about her quarantine and subsequent recruitment. As it stands, there really isn’t much to Noriel’s character except that she was raped by a gnoll Lamashtu cult, barely escaped a ritual thanks to a timely paladin rescue, and now she fights for the crusades because she really hates demons and was pseudo-indoctrinated by the Paladins that rescued her.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying she should nix the rape backstory entirely. If her player wants to play that type of character, then that’s fine. I just feel there needs to be -more-. My suggestion would be to include some events -after- the end of her quarantine, maybe some happier events that help to flesh her out a little more. Or, as an alternative, include some named NPCs into her backstory, maybe one of her rescuers who she’s kept in contact with, or a priest she looks to as a mentor, or a fellow crusader she’d consider a true friend. Basically, just throw in a few other plot threads the GM could draw on that aren’t directly related to her being raped, especially threads and connections that help to flesh out her character a bit more beyond this one tragic (albeit powerful) moment in her backstory.

Now, as I prefer to do with these reviews; Positives. At no point did I feel like rolling my eyes when I read the bit in her backstory about her being raped. I feel it was handled tastefully, and wasn’t just used for cheap drama or fetishbait (maybe that -is- the player’s fetish, but if it is then they didn’t make it overly awkward). I also appreciate that this incident actually had an impact on her rather than just being a thing that happened but never affects how she acts in the future; It gives the incident more weight, and offers some interesting RP angles for her (she’s a relatively nice person, but when faced with things related to her trauma she may do things she normally wouldn’t do. Things that other party members might object to, but have to temper with the knowledge of what happened to her, or else present the opportunity to learn about what happened if they don’t know at that point).

For suggestions, my only real suggestion is what I mentioned before; Add some more to her backstory after (or perhaps before) the incident where she was captured by the Lamashtu cult, along with some NPCs she might know, to further flesh her out via her relationships with them.