Fluttershy Story

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Fluttershy Story

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>The girl was sitting at her computer, waiting for the person on the other side of the screen to answer.
>It was 12 o'clock of the early morning and she had class the next day, but she didn't care.
>She was speaking with her dear friend.
>Fluttershy has never met this other person in her life, seen its face, known its real name, but she has known her for some months now and she feels like she really understands this person.
>They talk for hours every night so she knows a lot of Uma, its internet pseudonym.
>Similar ages, tastes and experiences, Fluttershy quickly bonded with Uma.
>She always knew about the dangers of strangers on the internet, but Uma was living someplace far away, too far for the girl to be scared.
>It's very difficult to meet someone in Fluttershy's small town so she wasn't worried at all.
>Now, Fluttershy has never been to keen on this internet thing.
>Only the usual stuff, popular video sites, and social networks.
>However, one time she wanted to know how to cure the illness of a small bunny, so she googled it and came across a small forum of animal lovers.
>After browsing the site for a couple of days, she fell in love with it and created an account.
>She was having fun reading the other posts and being part of the discussions.
>At some point, she found herself in a chatroom, full of forum members.
>It was somewhat ridiculous, people praising those with the most posts, but Fluttershy felt comfortable in it.
>That's when she met Uma.
>Up until that point, Fluttershy only knew that Uma was someone that had a lot of interest in horses, uploading these beautiful pictures of them.
>She became a fan of the pictures and was even nervous when she talked to Uma for the first time.
>Ridiculous, isn't it? She was just an amateur photographer, but our girl was very shy about talking to her.
>Nevertheless, she tried to hide it and just went and said hi.
>From that day onwards, they began to talk.

>Fluttershy took a liking to Uma, and it looks like it was mutual, since Uma always answered to her and even greeted her when she got online.
>The girl began to ask things about Uma, but the person didn't want to reveal too much about itself, for safety it said.
>Fair enough, she didn't want to bother it and gave it its space.
>Little by little, their friendship grew and it became something special to Fluttershy.
>It was indeed something strange, the girl knew it all too well.
>She just met this person online and it doesn't want to talk about itself that much, but she started caring about it.
>Maybe Fluttershy fell in love with the idea of Uma being her first online friend, something special that could never be replaced or maybe it was because Uma shared the same passion for horses she did.
>Still, Fluttershy never questioned this, she was enjoying her time with Uma to care about petty stuff like that.

>In the mornings, she never acted differently than usual, just a bit more sleepy.
>Fluttershy never told her friends about Uma or the animal forum, since she was embarrassed about it.
>Maybe she didn't want them to treat her like people treat those dorky kids playing computer games all day.
>Still, it was just a hobby, there was no need to tell them about something so simple.
>Rainbow Dash likes to watch soccer videos all night, so why can't she enjoy talking with other animal lovers?
>It was still embarrassing for her.

>Eventually, Fluttershy and Uma started to talk about something else than horses.
>They had other interests other than animals and they enjoyed talking about those too.
>Simple stuff, like tv programs and music.
>And so, life went on as normal for the next months, Fluttershy feeling like she made a new best friend that no one but her knew, something special that didn't need to be share.
>Something private that was just for to enjoy.

>The same way that Fluttershy befriended Uma, she began to start a lot of problems with the other members of the forum.
>They, more knowledgeable about the slang and more relaxed etiquette of the internet didn't really click with Fluttershy.
>Just to give you an idea, the girl didn't even use a pseudonym, but her real name.
>This caused Fluttershy to become annoyed at their attitude to the point that she even deactivated the account of the forum.
>Typical internet drama.
>However, she kept in touch with Uma and it didn't mind about that kind of stuff, it kept talking to Fluttershy as if nothing happened.
>"It was nice having a friend like her" Fluttershy thought while staring at her screen, giggling at the idea.
>Even if she didn't have an account on that forum, she still liked to see the posts and random information that was in it.
>But she especially loved the pictures Uma took.
>"Oh you're getting so much better at them, Uma" Fluttershy typed, "I really liked the black horse."
>"Thanks, Fluttershy. Is he your favorite horse?". Uma answered.
>"Oh most definitely!"
>"Alright. When was your birthday again?"

>A couple of nights later, they were chatting as always, but Uma interrupted their current conversation.
>"By the way, Fluttershy, I have a surprise for you."
>"A surprise?" the girl answered, "What do you mean?"
>"Happy birthday."

>Uma then shared a picture of the same black stallion, but with a small sign on top of the horse: "Happy Birthday Fluttershy".
>"D-did, you take this for me?" Fluttershy asked.
>"Of course, since you like my pictures this much, there's no way I could not dedicate one to you."
>"Oh thank you so much, Uma! It's beautiful!" Fluttershy typed.
>She was as excited as in real life as she was on the chat.
>For the rest of the night, she had a big and dumb grin on her face.
>She never received something like this before.
>No one ever dedicated something like this to her ever before.

>She liked the picture so much, that Fluttershy even used it as her cell phone background, to remind her of her hidden friendship with Uma.
>Fluttershy liked that picture so much, that she asked Uma to take more especially for her.
>She did try to do it sparsely, Fluttershy didn't want Uma to believe she only wanted to be its friend just for the pictures.
>But it never refused to.
>Fluttershy was very happy, having someone doing art for her? She has to mean a lot to it.
>At that point, she felt like the friendship she had with this anonymous person was as real as the one she had with her classmates.

>For the next couple of months, Fluttershy did nothing but sit on her computer once she finished all of her assignments and chores.
>She chatted with Twilight or Rainbow Dash, watched some videos or playing some flash games.
>All of this because she was waiting for Uma.
>And she always logged in.
>So for hours, they listened to music together, talked about tv programs and Fluttershy admiring its pictures.
>Uma eventually showed Fluttershy some of those Japanese cartoons it liked and the girl ended up liking them too.
>This was her routine and she enjoyed it a lot.
>Sometimes, Fluttershy even declined to hang out with her friends just to be able to talk with Uma.
>"I can hang out with both of them," she said to herself.
>AJ, RD, Twilight, Pinkie and Rarity in the morning, Uma in the night.
>There's nothing weird about that, is it?
>She just wants to be with all of her friends.

>At some point, Uma told Fluttershy that it got a job and that it wouldn't be on as much as before.
>Fluttershy, being how she is, understood its situation and wished it good luck.
>"I'll tell you when I'm going to be on, alright?"
>"Sure, I'll be here." She typed.

>It was a strange feeling whenever Uma wasn't on.
>Fluttershy still sat at her computer, waiting for it to log in, even tho she knew it wasn't happening.
>Like when a very small kid goes to play on the recess but his best friend misses that school day.
>You'll see the small kid walking or playing alone, not knowing what to do.
>A sad scene, the little one wanting to be with someone he cares but his friend is nowhere to be found.
>It's the same thing happening here.
>And like the kid, feeling truly alone for the first time in his life, Fluttershy was realizing something little by little, whenever Uma wasn't no the other side of the screen.
>The girl didn't know a thing about it.
>She didn't know its name, sex or profession. She did know many other things about it, what it feels, likes and desires, but that was a momentaneous knowledge.
>No substantial information about Uma, not even its birthday since it didn't want to reveal it either.
>A friendship like this, as dear as it was for Fluttershy, couldn't last for their entire lives.
>And that thought scared her.

>However, when Uma did get to log in, all those fears and insecurities left Fluttershy's body, who once again enjoyed its company.
>But those briefs moments of solitude, when she finally sat on her computer late at night, whether Uma was going to be on or not, could only think of the inevitable outcome of their relationship.
>Little by little that fear grew in her heart but she never told Uma about those feelings.
>Fluttershy didn't want it to think she was weird or something like that.
>Getting so attached to a person she didn't really know?
>And having these thoughts whenever Uma wasn't connected because she has to work, something much more important than chatting a couple of hours on the internet?
>No, it would be a dumb decision to tell Uma about this.
>"I guess, the only thing I can do is enjoy the time we have together" Fluttershy concluded every time she had these thoughts.

>Fluttershy and Uma have been knowing each other for over a year now.
>They've shared countless hours of chatting with each other, not saying really much but having a great time.
>Fluttershy still waited for Uma to log in almost every day, cursing those very rare days when Uma did connect but not Fluttershy.
>But as time ran its normal course, little by little, almost as if they were taken away by a dropper, the days Uma logged in were becoming rarer and rarer.
>Still, Fluttershy always sat at her computer, waiting for it.
>Sometimes, she would get too excited by a show or a cartoon, and she would completely forget about Uma, but she was still there.

>"Hey, Uma." Fluttershy asked in one of those days it was actually on.
>"What's wrong?" It answered.
>"Do you think you could take a picture of that black stallion once more?" She asked.
>"I don't know, I'll have to ask its owner."
>"Oh, that's alright. I was just wondering."

>Fluttershy finally noticed that Uma became distant when it got a little annoyed by an inside joke they always used to type for months when they first met.
>She apologized and tried to quickly change the subject.
>Meanwhile, the days Uma logged in grew thinner and thinner.
>At some point, Fluttershy got to the old site where they met each other and she found a post done by Uma on that same night.
>Yet she didn't log in to talk with her.
>At first, Fluttershy got very upset. "What? why didn't it say hi?" She thought to herself.
>But then, when she calmed down, she realized that Uma had no obligation to say hello to Fluttershy.
>They're not family or close friends, why should it even say hello?
>That thought sadden the poor girl down.

>"I thought that we were good friends... But then again, I don't really know it at all"
>She turned off the computer, the lights and lay on her bed for a while, thinking in the darkness of her room.
>While tears fell slowly from her eyes.

>Fluttershy didn't understand these feelings.
>It was indeed difficult to describe.
>For the last year, she spent almost all of her nights talking and having fun with this person that she didn't actually know.
>It gave her presents, the kind that no one ever gave to her.
>The shared so many hours together.
>But in reality, what difference was between those conversations and she typing answers to herself in a Word blank page, while listening to the songs they both heard?
>It could've been different if Uma decided to use a webcam or exchange pictures.
>It had a picture of Fluttershy since she send Uma one she took with a horse.
>But that faceless entity she got so attached may as well not exist.
>You see, there's a very popular philosophical thought out there "if a tree falls and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?"
>In this case, if you don't know the name or face of a person, does it exist?
>Fluttershy thought about this.
>The logs are saved, sure, but the moment they finally stop communicating with each other, Uma may as well not exist.
>An unreal entity that somehow produced a memory and cannot be found in this world.
>Uma will be lost in the ether.
>Fluttershy had a hard time grasping all the thoughts flying in her head, that kept her up all night.

>For the next couple of weeks, Uma didn't log in, but she still posted every once in a while on the animal lover's forum, but even there, she didn't appear as often as she did.
>Except one time when Uma told Fluttershy it couldn't be that day because it had things to do.
>After this much time, Fluttershy sat on her computer, not sure why.
>She was still waiting for Uma, the Uma that was her friend to come in and say hello.
>The Uma that dedicated her so many pictures before.
>The Uma that, she never actually met.
>But the one she missed.

>Sadly, she never saw Uma ever again.

>For the next couple of months, she sat in her chair, a throne built on top of her solitude.
>Somedays she was angry, other days sad, confused, nervous or frustrated.
>But no matter how intense her feelings were, they wouldn't be able to summon Uma.
>Every once in a while, she thought about getting in the old forum and reactivate her old account, just to see if she could get the attention of Uma whenever it decided to post.
>But she didn't have the courage to open that forum again.
>Fluttershy didn't want to see a new post of Uma.
>The idea that she was rejected by her dear friend, or whatever she considered a friend, stung her heart way too much.
>But she kept waiting.
>Every night, instead of reading a book, talking on the phone with Rarity or spend some time with her family, she waited and waited to see Uma's name green.
>But it never happened again.

>"Are you alright, Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash asked, "You don't look so good."
>"What? Oh sorry..." She answered.
>The two girls were waiting at a park for their friends, to go to the movies altogether.
>It's been some months after Uma stopped talking to Fluttershy, but she never stopped fulfilling that decrepit ritual of waiting for it on her computer and waiting.
>"What's wrong? come on, tell me! You know I'm your friend." Rainbow continued.
>Fluttershy looked at her face.
>It was indeed Rainbow Dash.
>The cocky soccer player, the one with the strange rainbowed hair.
>And even when this girl drove her insane, Fluttershy knew how both her face and name.
>That's the face of someone that has always been with her since they were children.
>Even if Dash could be extremely rude at times, she can trust her.

>"Well... It's hard to explain. I don't know where to start."
>"Well you can try the beginning." Dash answered.
>...Alright."

>Fluttershy then began telling Dash the whole story.
>Which wasn't as long as the originally thought.
>Or maybe it was because she didn't tell all the useless details, that to her were important to cherish.
>She did tell her how she felt and all the mixed feelings she had flying around her mind.
>When she finished, Dash was extremely confused, not knowing how to answer.
>She was never good with feels talking after all.
>"Well, why don't we ask Twilight?" Dash finally said.
>"Oh no! Please no, I don't want more people to know about this..."
>"Oh... So I guess you didn't notice her sitting beside us. Sorry..."
>Fluttershy turned around and saw the third girl grinning and waving.
>"Oh no..." Fluttershy finally said while covering her face in shame.
>"I'm sorry, Fluttershy, I didn't know it was a private conversation." Twilight finally said.
>In the heavy atmosphere, the third girl finally spoke.
>"Well... Do you mind if I give you my opinion about this?"
>Fluttershy, on the verge of tears, moved her head side to side.
>"I don't know everything about this, but it seems that Uma may have moved on and didn't notice that it was giving you this much stress."
>Those words pierced Fluttershy heart.
>"But then again, it didn't even care about your feelings, so maybe it was comfortable with you anymore."
>Without the other girls noticing it, Fluttershy began to tear up.
>"Still, I guess the best thing to do is for you to do the same, it's the most healthy thing to do-"
>At that moment, Fluttershy interrupted her, crying her eyes out.
>"But it was my friend!" She yelled "It took pictures done specially for me on my birthday, we heard music together, watched videos together and it was there with me for over a year! I-I cannot forget something like that!"
>Twilight was surprised by this reaction, but she put a hand on Fluttershy's shoulder.
>I... I know, Fluttershy, but-"

>Fluttershy sat once again at her computer like she always did.
>Twilight's words floating in her head, dancing and hurting her heart.
>"I know, Fluttershy, but Uma moved on and you can't have it back."
>Fluttershy knew that perfectly well, but even then she ran back home, not answering her phone.
>Now she messed up, everyone in her group will know about Uma.
>She grabbed her phone and looked at it.
>17 lost calls and 20 unread text messages.
>She sighed.
>Tomorrow she will apologize to them.
>She can't right now, though, it's 3 am.
>And still no signs of Uma.
>Fluttershy then opened one of the folders in her laptop.
>There were 25 pictures in there.
>25 photographs taken by Uma, given only to Fluttershy.
>Never posted on the forum or anywhere else, they were only meant for her.
>Fluttershy smiled and remembered all those times they talked with each other.
>All the times she giggled in front of the screen.
>The shows they shared with each other.
>The discussions about nothing they loved to have.
>And the times they talked about horses long ago.
>It's been a year and a half since Fluttershy met Uma and so many things have happened.
>She sighed and closed the folder.
>Fluttershy then remembered what her history teacher told the class.
>"We build the past, kids. It doesn't exist, you cannot touch it and everything we know about it is told through human eyes, therefore it is one-sided and partial."
>Fluttershy opened the program she used to talk to Uma.
>"So, since the past doesn't exist, we're built from what we remember of it, but especially how we want to remember it."
>She put the cursor on top of Uma's username.
>"This means that we are defined by how we remember our experiences. All of them, good and bad, so it's up to us to live and learn from them. Class dismissed."
>And deleted her username before closing her laptop and choosing to go back to sleep
>"I'll learn from this" She finally said before falling asleep.

The End.