HR Worker

What's a surprisingly 'dangerous' job in a monster city that one wouldn't expect to be so dangerous. I'm thinking interior decorator

Human resources manager

>Be male human HR man with little human co-workers
>Get hit on by every single mamono in the staff
>Every fucking time you have a meeting they try to seduce or suck up to you
>Catfights have started over your presence alone
>You just want to prevent the company from being run into the ground

Just pick one to wife, dude. All the raging estrogen will chill out once you claim a woman.

>Day of Full moon approaches
>Can't call in sick due to work and shit
>Spend the morning updating your will
>Go to work, take a deep drink of gin from your flask before entering the doors
>Work is quiet
>Too quiet; it's the calm before the storm
>Entire cafeteria watches you shove your lunch in the microwave and walk away with it
>All the single mamono seem to have a haze covering their eyes
>Spend the afternoon holed up office alone making some very important calls

>Clock ticks down to 5pm
>Fill in the last spreadsheet and log your time
>Put on your jacket and pick your bag
>Take another drink
>Door explodes inwards with the force of a maddened ushi-oni
>Luckily you're out the secret panel exit you installed a month ago

>You bolt down the corridor, glad you never skipped leg day
>No-one is close yet, good
>You take out a remote control from your jacket and flip the switch
>Bombs you made out of office supplies and leftover wine, then installed in secret weeks in advance go off
>Windows explode, water cascades from sprinklers, lich-chan in charge of security rages as her video feed is cut off
>The great escape is on

>You proceed to run down more stairs than you ever have in this workplace
>Doors burst open and single mamono rush at you in hordes
>You somehow fend them off with smoke bombs and the Order-brand pepper spray dug up from the confiscation bin
>Witches and dark mages try to trap you with magic circles
>You broke their lines in advance
>They didn't even question when you asked to look under their desks for missing pens
>Too busy drooling at your ass, the morons
>Arache lady from third floor spits web at you from the ceiling
>Light a cig and toss it at her, instant retreat

>Holstaur janitor corners you at a balcony
>"Don't move, anon. Don't make this difficult on yourself..."
>You see the lactation has already started
>Fling off jacket, revealing smuggled parachute
>Smirk as you leap off the balcony and into the air
>Werebat and harpy swoop down
>Reluctantly forced to emergency land on the second floor

>The exit is in sight
>You paid some married couples to fuck out in the open
>In hindsight you probably didn't even need to pay in the first place
>They're doing a good job of tripping over some of your pursuers with their positions
>You toss your bag aside, it hits the Anbuis secretary in the face
>If you can get out into the street, you can hail a taxi, make it to your safehouse and be free!
>Moments before your victory, someone vaults over the top floor and crash lands in front of the exit like a meteor
>Dust and debris fly everywhere

>"Going somewhere, Anon~?"
>Fuck
>Fuck fuck fuck
>It's the CEO
>Demon, former member of Extremist faction, economic genius and utterly, desperately single
>Her shirt is unbuttoned revealing her wonderful cleavage, her thighs are rubbing together, her spade tail waves back and forth in anticipation
>Slowly and gracefully, she strides towards you, licking her lips sultrily, the very image of a predator greeting her prey
>Nothing but pure lust fills those eyes
>"Such in a hurry to leave, it's as if you didn't want to stay behind for some...overtime."
>All hope is lost
>"You've caused quite a mess too. I hope you're ready to take responsibility..."
>So close, and yet so far
>"Now, then how about we discuss the finer details in my office, my dear, sweet Anon..."

>he didn’t just call in ill
When else are you gonna use all that sick leave?

>"Boss, I'm calling in sick today"
>"Rejected, we have an emergency meeting with Lady Druella at 10 am. Your presence is vital for the meeting."
>"Boss, I thought you hated her guts."
>"We have since put our differences aside for the sake of our respective enterprises."
>"You were ranting about her being a bitter lonely bitch in the cafeteria yesterday."
>"Anon, do not force me to sign these resignation papers. They are right in front of me."
>"You wouldn't, Boss.."
>"Don't push me, Anon."
>"Why are you breathing so heavily, Boss?"
>"...It must be your imagination, Anon. Come to work anon, or your ass is grass. Goodbye."
>Phone hangs up
>You take a deep swig from your trusty flask
>Such is life in Monster Girl City.