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[BUG] I'm All Outta Love (aka Friendship is Literally Magic)

Oct 3rd, 2016
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  1. >"I'm sorry, Anonymous; I really, REALLY am."
  2. >You are Anonymous, the angriest and most furious in all the land.
  3. >Your head pounding and your vision is swimming, and you can barely hold yourself back from saying or doing something to the Princesses that would get you in serious trouble.
  4. "You're sorry?" you growl, flashing your pointed canines in a snarl and taking a step forward.
  5. "You're SORRY?!"
  6. >The Princesses take a step back, and the Royal Guard behind them shuffles uncomfortably.
  7. >Ease it back, Anonymous.
  8. >There's nothing that can be gained from giving Celestia a black eye.
  9. >You take a deep breath, hold it, and then release.
  10. >You repeat this a few more times until you feel calm enough to make mouth-noises that do not include angry, incoherent screaming.
  11. "I am part of a deal."
  12. >Your efforts to hold back your anger make you speak sharply and clearly, making each word sound like its own sentence.
  13. >Your attempts to control yourself do not go unnoticed by the Princesses, whose ears flop downward and who take a single step backwards.
  14. "You have auctioned me off to the highest bidder. Like I'm some sort of... of..."
  15. >Oh boy, you're starting to feel dizzy.
  16. "I thought we were FUCKING FRIENDS!"
  17. >The guards actually DO shuffle forwards now, making to form a barrier in front of the Princess.
  18. >Is this really how it's going to go down?
  19. >You're three times bigger than any of these little fucking shits, and you're nearly ready to show them EXACTLY what that means.
  20. >You're also a predator species and these ponies are NOT; that has to count for something, right?
  21. >Celestia; sweet, brave Celestia walks towards you, parting her royal guard like the red sea.
  22. >"We ARE friends, Anonymous! We ARE! I know how this looks, okay?"
  23. >She's struggling to meet your eye.
  24. >Good.
  25. >At least she has the good graces to look guilty.
  26. >"Anonymous, when my sister and I took you in, you told me that you were so grateful that you would do ANYTHING to pay our kindness back."
  27. "Celestia, I was in a hospital and hopped up on painkillers. I would have agreed to suck your big, floppy horse cock if you'd asked me to."
  28. >Celestia's wings shoot wide open, and her face looks somehow even more pale than usual.
  29. >She glances behind her to Luna, who's in a similar state.
  30. >"How did-"
  31. >The alabaster mare clears her throat and, with effort, lowers her wings down to her side.
  32. >You think you just might have uncovered a state secret.
  33. >"Leave us, guards. Anonymous, Queen Chrysalis, and I need to have a private conversation before he leaves to the Badlands."
  34. >It's funny, how casually and dismissively she speaks about your forced relocation.
  35. >A few moments later, you and Celestia are left alone; Luna's fucked off somewhere, but you couldn't care less.
  36. >"Anonymous, this is only temporary. The Queen needs love, and you have an enormous untapped collection of love."
  37. >She sighs and looks expectantly towards a big set of double-doors.
  38. >"Chrysalis can explain it better than - "
  39. >BOOM
  40. >CRACK
  41. >The doors slam open and a black-and-green missile barrels towards you.
  42. >It hits you square in the chest and knocks back a few feet through the air.
  43. >>"Aahhahaha! Yes!"
  44. >When you open your eyes, you're met with the sight of the changeling Queen rubbing her muzzle on your face like a cat would.
  45. >>"It's so big~"
  46. >You're getting the WEIRDEST boner over this.
  47. >"Ch-chrysalis! Why don't you tell Anonymous what you told me?"
  48. "No, fuck you."
  49. >You try to shove Chrysalis off of you, but she wraps her limbs around your torso and neck.
  50. >The look she's giving you is half-way between affection and hunger.
  51. >Not hunger as in, "I want your dick"; hunger as in, "I'm a lion and you're a wounded animal"
  52. >>"Anonymous, is it? Anonymous, if there's ONE thing these ponies got right, it's that friendship is magic."
  53. >She nuzzles you once more and.... grinds her crotch against yours?
  54. >What the fuck?
  55. >>"I've been told that humans can't cast magic, but that doesn't stop you from HAVING and ABSORBING magic. You have a HUGE reservoir of magic that's just building-"
  56. >Crotch-grind.
  57. >>"-and BUILDING-"
  58. >More forceful, slightly wet crotch-grind.
  59. >>"-with no output even though you're just BURSTING with it! And magic, quite literally, IS love; or friendship."
  60. >Chrysalis tries to lick your face, but you worm an arm out of her embrace and push her muzzle away from you.
  61. >She licks your palm instead, the creepy little shit.
  62. >>"You've got more love inside of you than any other creature in Equestria. You could feed my hive for YEARS and you'd still be taking in more ambient magic than we'd be taking out!"
  63. >...so you're like a magic never-ending battery to them?
  64. >Congrats, Anon.
  65. >You've solved the energy crisis.
  66. "No, fuck this."
  67. >You once again try to push the bug queen away, but her grip remains strong.
  68. "Fuck this, and fuck YOU, Celestia."
  69. >To your surprise, the next outburst comes from Chrysalis, not Celestia.
  70. >>"No! No, please!"
  71. >She grips you by the face and stares into your eyes.
  72. >She looks terrified.
  73. >>"Please, my foals are starving! Without you, they'll all die; I NEED you!"
  74. >....
  75. >Fuck.
  76. >Dammit, why did she have to bring children into this?!
  77. >("Oh Anonymous, little kids will die if you don't go with the nice lady!")
  78. "Oh, for-"
  79. >You close your eyes and sigh.
  80. "Why are you asking me? It isn't like I have a choice in the matter."
  81. >You finally manage to shove Chrysalis off of you despite her best efforts.
  82. >Standing up, you stalk over to Celestia.
  83. "You owe me, Princess."
  84. >Celestia sighs and looks away.
  85. >"I know I do, Anonymous. I don't know how I'll ever repay yo-"
  86. "A hug, for starters."
  87. >You have a plan.
  88. >Celestia looks up at you in surprise, a little bit of hope blooming in her eyes.
  89. >With a small smile, she nods.
  90. >"A hug I can do."
  91. >You wrap your arms around her stupid horse neck while she does the same.
  92. >With a bit of maneuvering, you reach out to where her wings meet her shoulders, and.....
  93. >"AARRGH!"
  94. >Laughing like a maniac, you run back over to Chrysalis and towards the doors the bug queen entered from.
  95. >You're going to make a necklace out of these alicorn feathers.
  96.  
  97. "So how does this work?"
  98. >You're in the changeling queen's carriage, flying through the air via a tied-up pair of her slave-children.
  99. >Chrysalis is laying on the seat next to you with her face nuzzling your crotch.
  100. >She'll swear up and down that she was laying her head on your lap, but you could hear her sniffing.
  101. >"Just let my foals feed on you whi-"
  102. >Excuse you?
  103. "Feed on me?!"
  104. >Chrysalis glares at you and goes back to TOTALLY not smelling your sack.
  105. >"It's harmless; you'll see. At least to somepony with as much love as YOU have, it's harmless."
  106. "Okay, but what IS feeding?"
  107. >Chrysalis ho's and hums and you can feel her hot breath through the fabric of your pants.
  108. >"You know how ponies exchange love?"
  109. >What?!
  110. "Chrysalis, I am NOT fucking your children!"
  111. >"What?!"
  112. >Chrysalis' head darts up and, nose-to-nose, glares at you.
  113. >You're briefly reminded that she is the tyrant that nearly killed Celestia less than a week ago.
  114. >"Absolutely not! Cuddling, you fool! CUDDLING!"
  115. >Oh.
  116. "That's... less bad, I guess."
  117. >"It is WONDERFUL."
  118. >She says this with conviction.
  119. >"I'll have you know that all my previous victims have died with blissful smiles on their faces.
  120. >This is bullshit.
  121.  
  122.  
  123. >>"Mommy, mommy!"
  124. >A horde of changeling foals, new-born all the way up to fully-grown, come galloping out of their evil-looking cave as soon as the carriage touches down.
  125. >Chrysalis gives them a surprisingly indulgent smile and leans down to nuzzle the growing crowd.
  126. >"Have you been good while I was gone?"
  127. >The biggest one (still smaller than a fully-grown pony, you note) walks up and nods enthusiastically.
  128. >>"Uh-huh! Nopony misbehaved and we all ate from the left-over ponies in the-"
  129. >"Shhh!"
  130. >Chrysalis shoves a hoof in her foal's mouth and whips her head around to face you, looking nervous.
  131. >Another changeling speaks up.
  132. >>"But mommy... You said that she was almost dead anyway, and that we-"
  133. >"OKAY WOW HEY LOOK WHO I BROUGHT"
  134. >Hundreds of pairs of eyes all turn to you at the same time.
  135. >They reflect green like a cat's eyes in moonlight.
  136. >"IT'S DADDY"
  137. >It's who?
  138. >You never agreed to this!
  139. "W-wait a second!"
  140. >You take a step back towards the carriage.
  141. "I read the peace agreement! This wasn't part of the-"
  142. >>"Daddy?!"
  143. >A particularly small one trots up to you, a big smile on her face.
  144. >Her legs and hooves are too big for her body, giving her a stiff gallop and making her nearly trip on her excited journey to meet you.
  145. >When she makes it over to you, she hops up on her hind legs and paws at your knees.
  146. >Giving in to the cuteness, you reach down and pick her up.
  147. >She immediately begins to nuzzle your chest and neck.
  148. >>"You're our daddy?!"
  149. >....say no, Anonymous.
  150. >This is a 6-month agreement, and then you get to go home.
  151. >Tiny baby changeling wraps her tiny hooves around her neck as best as she can and hugs you with all the strength that a filly can.
  152. >>"Daddy...~"
  153. >Oh fuck she sounds SO CONTENT
  154. >FUCK
  155. "Y-yeah. I'm.... I'm him."
  156. >Chrysalis, who has been feeding off of your love this entire time, has her face screwed up as though she's going through an intense orgasm.
  157. >She meets your eye and lets out a moan.
  158. >"Y-yeah! More love, 'daddy'!"
  159. >Oh, ew.
  160.  
  161.  
  162. "I didn't agree to this."
  163. >You're sitting in Chrysalis's lounge with three changelings getting comfortable on your body.
  164. >One's curled up on your lap; one's leaning into your side; and the final one is that little filly who was the first one to call you daddy. She's in your free arm and has her hooves wrapped around your neck.
  165. >Chrysalis, drooling slightly, stops nuzzling one of her children and turns to you.
  166. >"Didn't you, 'daddy'? You could have told that little filly in your arms that you weren't her daddy, but you said that you were."
  167. >You motion your head over to her.
  168. >She hasn't moved in a while, so you're pretty sure she's fallen asleep.
  169. "How did you expect me to say no? You didn't see her face after you EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED your own children and got their hopes up for some kind of parental figure."
  170. >Chrysalis scrunches up her snoozle at the influx of negative emotions coming from you, and the little filly in your arms groans in her sleep.
  171. >You idly pat her on the back and shush her.
  172. >"Quit ruining the feeding, Anonymous."
  173. >You start in your seat.
  174. "THIS is the feeding?! What about those ponies your kids were talking about? The ones who DIED wh-"
  175. >Chrysalis jumps up, startling the small crowd of changeling foals in the room.
  176. >"OKAY NO MORE TALKING TIME FOR BED"
  177. >Fucking.... whatever.
  178. >You know what? You're pretty tired anyway.
  179. >Chrysalis gallops out through the side door and into her bedroom.
  180. >.....she doesn't come out for a solid five minutes.
  181. >Maybe one of these little cuties can tell you where you're sleeping.
  182. >You stand up and make your way out the door on the opposite wall, when one of the changelings stops you.
  183. >>"Daddy?"
  184. >HNG
  185. >[spoiler]Chrysalis squeals audibly through the thick, stone wall.[/spoiler]
  186. >>"Where are you going? It's bedtime now!"
  187. >You reach down and scratch the changeling between the ears.
  188. >[spoiler]"Don't stop!"[/spoiler]
  189. "I'm off to bed, kiddo. Think you can tell me where I'm staying?
  190. >The changeling looks confused, looking between you and the door that Chrysalis walked through.
  191. >>"Aren't you... aren't you gonna sleep with mommy?"
  192. >Nope.
  193. >That sounds like literally the worst thing that you could do right now.
  194. >The littlest changeling squirms out of your embrace so that she can look at you in the eye.
  195. >She looks so upset and her widdle ears are flopping down and AARHG
  196. >>"Are you and mommy fighting?"
  197. >NO
  198. >NO TINY BABY PONY NO YOU AREN'T
  199. "N-no! No, of course not!"
  200. >You snuggle the filly closer to you and try to make your heart stop crying.
  201. >[spoiler]"I'm so close!"[/spoiler]
  202. "No, I was just..."
  203. >You stutter, struggling to think of something to say to the little pony.
  204. "...going to bed now. Good night."
  205. >A chorus of "goodnight, daddy!" is returned, and this time Chrysalis makes no effort to control her screams.
  206. >Normally you sleep in the nude, but THIS time....
  207. >...you realize that you didn't actually pack anything at all before you left, so you decide to sleep in the nude instead.
  208. >The bed you're sharing with the changeling queen is surprisingly warm and soft.
  209. >Chrysalis insisted on being the big spoon.
  210. "Stop fondling me."
  211. >"No."
  212.  
  213. >A few weeks later, you're still getting molested in your sleep.
  214. >Behind you, Chrysalis yawns and give you your "good morning" reach-around.
  215. >She seems unperturbed by the presence of that tiny baby changeling filly who'd taken to sleeping in yours and Chrysalis's bed.
  216. >"G'morning, Anonymous."
  217. >You squeeze her hoof sleepily, too tired and up too early to put up much of a fight against her.
  218. >Chrysalis's children have made it a lot more bearable, living in this hive.
  219. >"Are you up to feed the foals, or do you want some coffee first?"
  220. >You mull it over in your half-asleep mind as you idly stroke Chrysalis's hoof.
  221. >Her instinctual hip-thrust is barely even noticeable by this point.
  222. "I dunno."
  223. >You turn to the filly curled up against you, who'd been awake and watching you and "mommy" for the last few mintues.
  224. "What do you think, honey? You hungry?"
  225. >The little filly chews on your thumb in response.
  226. "Guess so."
  227. >With a steaming mug of coffee in hand, you settle down on the special couch in Chrysalis's lounge.
  228. >A swarm of about twenty changelings enter the room and pile onto you, each competing to get SOME kind of contact with your body.
  229. >It's worth noting that you've thrown on a bathrobe in between waking up nude and cuddling with a bunch of under-age ponies.
  230. >Not that sexuality seems to be that big of a taboo thing here in ponyland; Chrysalis is RIGHT BESIDE YOU on the couch, rubbing her bug-pussy over all the love you're giving to her kids.
  231. >Like, spread-eagle. She's really obvious about it now; at least when you first arrived she'd put up some kind of flimsy excuse or disguise.
  232. >[spoiler]You don't like the curious glances her fillies giver her when she does this.
  233. >It took you all of two days to change the rule that no fillies are allowed alone with Chrysalis in her bedroom.[/spoiler]
  234. >You're startled out of your thoughts when one changeling filly nudges her muzzle under your arm, almost making you spill your coffee.
  235. >"Careful now!"
  236. >Chrysalis can switch between "pervert" and "doting mother" in less than a second.
  237. >"You almost made daddy spill his coffee. One of you might have gotten hurt."
  238. >A voice squeaks out from your armpit, and a single blue eye looks up at you remorsefully.
  239. >>"Sorry, daddy."
  240. >You scratch whatever small patch of skin you can reach and try to ignore Chrysalis's lewd moaning.
  241. >[spoiler]Less than a SECOND.[/spoiler]
  242. "It's okay, sweetie. Just try to be more careful, okay?"
  243. >The filly eagerly nods before closing her eyes and going back to "breakfast".
  244. >About an hour and nearly 100 changelings later, Chrysalis approaches you and sits down, leaving about a foot distance between you and her.
  245. >By now she would have had her face shoved into your crotch, so you're instantly on alert.
  246. >"Anonymous, I... I know I didn't say this before, but... well, TWO things I haven't said..."
  247. >She shuffles uncomfortably and you put down your long-empty coffee mug to give her your absolute attention.
  248. >"F-first of all, I'm... you know..."
  249. >No, you don't.
  250. >Chrysalis opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, trying and failing to say something to you.
  251. >You wonder if-
  252. >"I'm sorry!"
  253. >Unable to meet your eyes, she proceeds to give your left knee her most sincere apologies.
  254. >"I'm sorry, okay? I could practically TASTE you the moment I stepped into Canterlot to meet with the Princess, and it was then that I knew you'd be able to feed my foals for... for... I don't know how long."
  255. >Chrysalis shuffles away from you, no longer making eye-contact with your legs.
  256. >"And I didn't... I... never took your, uh..."
  257. >She wrings her hooves together anxiously, ears flat and tail swishing.
  258. >"I didn't... think about what you wanted. Not once. You were.... you were..... food. To me."
  259. >She glances at you, immediately looking away when you catch her gaze.
  260. >"I'm sorry."
  261. >Wow.
  262. >That is EASILY the most square a pony has EVER been with you in all your time in Equestria.
  263. >Not even Celestia managed to squeak out a sincere apology in the time you spent hugging it out and ripping out a couple of her feathers.
  264. >You're stunned, to be honest.
  265. >Chrysalis apparently felt that the silence had gone on for two long.
  266. >She got her her hooves and, without a word, slunk towards the door to her bedroom.
  267. >You get up and run after her, scooping her up into your arms and hugging her to your chest.
  268. >She climaxes onto your pants from all the love she feels from you.
  269. >"D-daddy~"
  270. >This mare has ISSUES.
  271.  
  272. >In the end, you never went back.
  273. >You provided Chrysalis's foals with lots of love and, in the months to come, made some children of your own with the changeling queen.
  274. >The littlest changeling eventually made you a necklace out of Celestia's feathers. This became a changeling artefact in the centuries to come, long after your eventual death.
  275. THE END
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