Half and Half Scripts and Advice from co threads WIP

I must've not recognized you without your beard-... You have my book. Well, I was teaching myself. My writing got much better. I worked very hard. I made certain that Marie learned right away.

It is good to see you. Not that I ever forgot you, George. You gave me so much. You taught me about concentration. At first I thought that meant just being still. But I was to understand it meant much more. You meant to tell me to be where I was, not some place in the past, or the future. I worry too much about tomorrow.

I thought the world could be perfect. I was wrong.

Oh, enough about me. What about you? Are you working on something new?
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“I looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat and God was not there. The cold, suffocating dark goes on forever and we are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reason later. Born from oblivion; bear children, hell-bound as ourselves, go into oblivion. There is nothing else. Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It’s us. Only us.”


Those Mysterious Cities of /co/ld do not exist anymore. Current /co/ is just a gathering place for /v/ and /pol/. The old /co/mrade resistance still comes out at nights to have good discussions but even then the /v/irgins have started targeting our forces.
This is a hopeless war that we are waging but we will not give up. Because we have nowhere else to go; this is our home.


“Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.”


“Dan, I'm not a Republic serial villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago.”
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 Anonymous 03/03/13(Sun)22:41 No.46871339
“The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout 'SAVE US!'...and I'll look down and whisper 'No.”

Lets make it a challenge /co/

Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.

This may not be much of a challenge but here is A TRIBUTE For /B/ (with many b's)

Bam! Behold, a public bulletin board, built of both brilliance and barbarity by bastards with boners. This bastion, no mere bulwark of boredom, is a brutal barrage of blistering? bullshite, barely benevolent... but behind the bigotry and breasts, beyond the bitter broadcasts of bragging buffoons: here be the body politic. A brotherhood of blasphemy, blessed with more balls than brains, battling the bland and the bogus, the benign. Bedlam? Bring it on! But I babble. Better to be brief. We were /b/


HAROLD:
Dammit, Tracy! Are you serious about this? Do you know what this does to our reputation? How it looks like? God! Oh, and I know I'm the one getting the short end of the stick here. Yeah, I'm the one working seven days a week, 8 to 6, with a two hour commute, while you're out late with some asswipe screwing around like fucking Jack and Diane!


TRACY: (desperate, over the edge)
Because I have needs too, Harold! Did that ever cross your mind? Christ! Did it ever fucking occur to you that I have desires as well? You say how you love me, how you need me, and how I'm always there for you. And you know what? It kills me. I die every time I hear you say those words. It's the bolt of lightning that strikes the tree. It bursts into flames. Oh, but this lightning strikes more than once. It happens again and again and again. And you know what? That tree still burns. because I know that I'll never hear you say how much I need you. And how you will always be there for me. Because I know, dammit, I know!- that it's all a lie.


Purina Diet

So I'm at Wal-Mart buying a bag of Purina dog food for my dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.




Anonymous 03/04/13(Mon)15:02 No.46892248
Replies: >>46892260
It was a chilly November evening, the last of the sun's yellow glow faded behind the mountain to the west. The moon was a pale crescent in the sky, with the bright dot of Jupiter serving as her wingman. We laid out the blanket on the ground, persistent scent marijuana clinging to it from its rightful owner. I collapsed to the ground, letting the earth hold my back up. He lowered himself down beside me, a bashful smile peeking out from the top of his scarf. We huddled close and draped the second blanket over us. Then there was silence, we just gazed at the white specks in the sky. Our eyes darted back and forth trying to catch the glowing tail of a falling star. He saw one first, making an excited squeak as he shouted "there!" without gesturing. My eyes danced around the sky looking for what he had seen, but it was already too late. I turned my head saw him eyes shut and contracting his face, and I couldn't help but stifle a giggle. His eyes peeled open and he saw my smile and quickly explained "I was making my wish" I tore my eyes away from his and looked again skyward.
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 Anonymous 03/04/13(Mon)15:03 No.46892260
>>46892248
My eyes searched once more for that wayward tail of light. A flash at the corner of my vision caused me to turn and catch a glimpse the wounded star sinking towards the horizon. Before I could tell him about it, it had already vanished. Quickly I closed my eyes and made my wish, "I want him to kiss me." I opened my eyes and turned to find him already looking at me, his mouth cracked in a kind smile. I fumbled underneath the blanket groping for his hand; I found it and gave his gloved grasper a squeeze. His blue eyes turned back away setting me free of his gaze .I watched the sky for what must have been a millennia, and just then as I was giving up hope a white light raced across the night sky's zenith. In unison we both exclaimed "did you see that!" He grabbed my hip and rotated my whole body towards him, brushed the bangs from my face and before I knew it his warm lips clasped mine. I felt like a camera crew was about to pop out and reveal that it was all a prank. I am a wound-up bundle of issues and this guy courted me for over a month without so much as a kiss. It just seemed too perfect for what normally happens in my life. When our lips parted a shiver ran through my spine and as I looked into his eyes I couldn't help but say “This is so anime.”



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 From: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley VK 03/04/13(Mon)15:15 No.46892667
Replies: >>46892703
>>46892546
THE CREATURE: I expected this reception. All men hate the wretched. How, then, must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things! Yet you, my creator, detest and spurn me, thy creature, to whom thou art bound by ties only dissoluble by the annihilation of one of us. You purpose to kill me. How dare you sport thus with life? Do your duty toward me, and I will do mine toward you and the rest of mankind. If you will comply with my conditions, I will leave them and you at peace, but if you refuse I will glut the maw of death, until it be satiated with the blood of your remaining friends. Have I not suffered enough that you seek to increase my misery? Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it. Remember, thou hast made me more powerful than thyself. My height is superior to thine, my joints more supple. But I will not be tempted to set myself in opposition to thee. I am thy creature and I will be even mild and docile to my natural lord and king, if thou wilt also perform thy part, the which thou owest me. Oh, Frankenstein, be not equitable to every other and trample upon me alone, to whom thy justice, and even thy clemency and affection, is most due. Remember that I am thy creature, I ought to by thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed. Everywhere I see bliss from which I alone am irrevocably excluded. The desert mountains and dreary glaciers are my refuge. I have wandered here many days. The caves of ice, which I only do not fear, are a dwelling to me, and the only one which man does not grudge. These bleak skies I hail, for they are kinder to me than your fellow beings. If the multitude of mankind knew of my existence, they would do as you do and arm themselves for my destruction. Shall I not then hate them who abhor me? I will keep no terms with my enemies. I am miserable and they shall share my wretchedness.
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 VK 03/04/13(Mon)15:16 No.46892703
>>46892667
Yet it is in your power to recompense me, and deliver them from an evil which it only remains for you to make so great that not only you and your family, but thousands of others, shall be swallowed up in the whirlwinds of its rage. Let your compassion be moved and do not disdain me. I was benevolent and good. Misery made me a fiend. Make me happy and I shall again be virtuous.

I have wandered through these mountains, I have ranged through their immense recesses, consumed by a burning passion which you alone can gratify. We may not part until you have promised to comply with my request. I am alone and miserable. Man will not associate with me, but one as deformed and horrible as myself would not deny herself to me. My companion must be of the same species and have the same defects. A female. This being you must create.


HE PRETENTIOUS YOUNG LADIES
A monologue from the play by Molière

MADELON: Good heavens! If everybody was like you a love-story would soon be over. Matrimony ought never to happen till after other adventures. A lover, to be agreeable, must understand how to utter fine sentiments, to breathe soft, tender, and passionate vows; his courtship must be according to the rules. In the first place, he should behold the fair one of whom he becomes enamoured either at a place of worship, or when out walking, or at some public ceremony; or else he should be introduced to her by a relative or a friend, as if by chance, and when he leaves her he should appear in a pensive and melancholy mood. For some time he should conceal his passion from the object of his love, but pay her several visits, in every one of which he ought to introduce some gallant subject to exercise the wits of all the company. When the day comes to make his declarations--which generally should be contrived in some shady garden-walk while the company is at a distance--it should be quickly followed by anger, which is shown by our blushing, and which, for a while, banishes the lover from our presence. He finds afterwards means to pacify us, to accustom us gradually to hear him depict his passion, and to draw from us that confession which causes us so much pain. After that come the adventures, the rivals who thwart mutual inclination, the persecutions of fathers, the jealousies arising without any foundation, complaints, despair, running away with, and its consequences. Thus things are carried on in fashionable life, and veritable gallantry cannot dispense with these forms. But to come out point-blank with a proposal of marriage--to make no love but with a marriage-contract, and begin a novel at the wrong end! Once more, father, nothing can be more tradesman like, and the mere thought of it makes me sick at heart.
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With blood and rage of crimson red,
We fill mens' souls with darkest dread,
And twist your minds to pain and hate.
We'll burn you all—that is your fate

Replies: >>46908285 >>46908356
I used to have a relationship like this too. My first husband chained me to the kitchen stove. Do you believe that? I thought it was normal. I wrote my dissertation on the open oven door. I got a degree in marital counseling and my own personal relationship was a sham. I would have committed suicide if the stove had been gas. i used to try and stick my head in the microwave but the chain wouldn't reach. And then i met Roger and i realized that all men weren't like that neanderthal Hitler i lived with. Just some of them. but YOU can't be helped Mark. This marriage must NEVER be saved. Men like you should be put in jail for what you do to women! You disgust me! Now get out of here! Get the hell out of here before you make me vomit!

I look at a man like this and i am consumed with jealousy. I could hate you, I could murder you, i could tear you into little pieces and feed you to the dogs. But you know something else? I could also love you. I know i just said i don't love anyone but if i COULD love anyone, i would love you. I want to love, i want to love you and i don't even know your name! I am such a fake! I make money teaching people how to love and i don't even love myself! Help! Help me!


This is the story of how I died. Don't worry, this is actually a very fun story and the truth is, it isn't even mine. This is the story of a girl named Rapunzel and it starts with the sun. Now, once upon a time, a single drop of sunlight fell from the heavens and from this small drop of sun, grew a magic, golden flower. It had the ability to heal the sick and injured. Oh, you see that old woman over there? You might want to rememberher. She's kind of important. Well, centuries passed, and a hop skip and a boat ride away there grew a kingdom. The kingdom was ruled by a beloved King and Queen. And the Queen, well, she was about to have a baby. She got sick. Really, sick. She was running out of time, and that's when people usually start to look for a miracle. Or in this case, a magic golden flower.
Ah, I told you she'd be important. You see, instead of sharing the sun's gift, this woman, Mother Gothel, hoarded its healing power and used it to keep herself young for hundreds of years, and all she had to do was sing a special song. All right, you get the gist. She sings to it, she turns young, creepy, right? The magic of the golden flower healed the queen. A healthy baby girl, a princess was born, with beautiful golden hair. I'll give you a hint: that's Rapunzel. To celebrate her birth, the King and Queen launched a flying lantern into the sky. And for that one moment, everything was perfect. And then that moment ended. Gothel broke into the castle, stole the child and just like that--gone. The kingdom searched and searched but they could not find the princess. For deep within the forest, in a hidden tower, Gothel raised the child as her own. Gothel had found her new magic flower, but this time she was determined to keep it hidden. But the walls of that tower could not hide everything. Each year, on her birthday, the King and Queen released thousands of lanterns into the sky, in hope that one day, their lost princess would return.


Charlie Chaplin's Speech from "The Great Dictator"

I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness — not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another.
In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood, for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world — millions of despairing men, women and little children — victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say — do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed — the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people and so long as men die, liberty will never perish.
Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes — men who despise you — enslave you — who regiment your lives — tell you what to do — what to think or what to feel!
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 VK 03/05/13(Tue)20:26 No.46940178
Replies: >>46941218
>>46940155
Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men — machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate! Only the unloved hate — the unloved and the unnatural!
Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the 17th Chapter of St. Luke it is written: "the Kingdom of God is within man" — not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power — the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth the future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people! Now, let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.
Soldiers! In the name of democracy, let us all unite!

-The Great Dictator, CharlieChaplin
>>
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Always read through what you are going to read twice. Once silently so you are not surprised with what happens, and the second time aloud so you can hear what trips you up and make decisions on what to emphasize and how to pace.


Make sure you read the sentences correctly, otherwise the message might be lost. You seem to have a basic grasp of character, I could feel you had some sort of objective, even if you hadn't planned one or a moment before


A little off-topic, but does anyone have any advice on cheap-ish microphones with decent quality? I'm looking for a pair for youtube vids and maybe threads like this. /g/ has a headphone guide but I haven't seen anything like a mic guide.


As I've said above, you don't have to follow all those instructions in scripts. Only do what you feel is right. For instance in this script,
#5 Begging

I don't think you know just how turned on I have become, how very horny you make me. Sure, your fingers and your mouth on my skin are enough to make me come right there. But your voice...hearing your voice calling my name, calling me your dirty little slut.<moan>That makes my insides melt. I'm so hot and so wet and I can't think straight. All I want is for you to be inside me. I know you can see how fucking horny I am. Can smell my cunt, see my wetness, but I don't care. I'm shameless when it comes to your cock. I will do anything for it, yes, anything! I need it that badly and I will beg for it. On my knees. Completely naked, my pussy dripping on the floor under me as I look up at you. Please, please use me! Use my cunt for your pleasure. Take me. I've proved just what a little fucking slut I can be. Your fucking whore, your fuckhole to be used. Please help me. I need it. <improvise to orgasm>

The last instruction can be read as <improvise to orgasm or not> It is really an add-on. All you have to do in-script is to sound a little excited. Does this help?



USB Mics work fine. Blue makes good USB mics for a decent price (under $100). If you already have a real microphone but no audio interface (more than a mic jack on your computer), there are a lot of companies that make XLR to USB switches for about $30-$60 that plug & play. Sony and Alesis both make them, I think MXL makes them too.



I find it hard to believe that I'm any better than anyone else ITT, but I can certainly try to give you tips. I have no training, so sorry if this makes no sense.

A#1, you should work on enunciation, you kind of drawl/slur your words a little, which could make it hard to understand you. Obviously it's not a good idea to be too choppy with your readings, but establishing a rhythm is a big part of having an interesting sound. (Male pacing in speech is pretty different from female speech, women speak much faster than men do, typically.)

Er, as far as monotone... I don't have any good advice, since I'm really expressive in day to day life. Go watch some people act, and listen to the way thier voice changes pitch. If you have a hard time picking it up, watch Nic Cage. Dude overacts so much it's hard to miss how hard he is acting.

I heard somewhere that reading out loud is good practice for voiceovers, by the way, so that's worth a try.


Practice and effort play large parts. Having a nice mic and a good place to record are also huge boons.
I'm not using my setup right now, but I have a little studio kinda thing setup in my closet, with a false wall made out of foam, a sound blocked directly behind the mic, and a pop filter in front of it.
I haven't done anything professional yet so my advice is pretty standard, I just thought it'd be nice to have a setup (and it really does effect sound quality when in use.)


Start with acting. Use emotion. Deadpan narrative can only get you so far. Try to limit the shallow breathing, sniffling, and lip smacking. Microphones pick up everything.



What we really need is some audition scripts or at least people posting references to characters they're trying to voice as as opposed to your typical "Oh hey /co/ I'm just recording and here's my shitty voice tee hee hee" deal we get.


You seem to have a nice voice, but it's pretty clear you're reading off a pasta. Try slowing down a bit, it makes your voice sound more natural.

>>46875668
Great voice! You know how to use it. Love your energy. Be sure to read the passage before jumping in to recording it. Think about every sentence, every word that you're saying. Don't be afraid to take pauses; emotional suspense does work!

>>46876775
Fantastic start! You jump in head first, which is something I envisioned when writing it. The energy seemed to dip a bit in the middle, but that may have been due to the powerful beginning, and you sure as hell brought it back up in the ending. I don't quite believe the "You say how you love me" line; maybe take a bit more time with it. You seem to rush through the middle. Don't be afraid to take your time with more dramatic pieces.



How do regualr VA's deal with sickness if they have an upcoming gig? Do they reschedule, or just try and tough it out?





Sorry, it's still too 'being read'. It's not a killer, here's a tip: do what stage actors do. Memorize the line before you try to perform it. Once you don't have to go by something in front of your face, the words come out much more organically.
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