Upon Our Fated Stage (ch4)

EARLY RELEASE FOR ME $30+ PATRONS!

This chapter will be from Claudine's perspective.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

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													Chapter 4. A Fated Revival

When the sunlight leaks in through the pink curtains of Claudine's bedroom window, she turns away from the brightness and draws the blankets up over her head.

Just this once, she wishes she could sleep in on a Saturday morning. But her body is already so used to moving around, even at this early hour, as she'd made it a habit long ago to use her free days for practicing.

Moaning softly, she buries her face into her pillow and tries with all her might to force herself back to sleep. But it's no use.

Last night had been a restless one, even though she should have been pleasantly exhausted after the play, and gotten rewarded with a full night's worth of beauty sleep.

But not after what had happened; Tendo Maya finding her in the bathroom in her most unbecoming state, a retching, shuddering nervous wreck. All throughout their performance she'd seen the concern in her eyes, the silent desire to reach out and help, despite knowing Claudine would never accept.

Because accepting would have meant acknowledging her own shortcomings, and it would only make her weaknesses all the more real.

And what's worse, Maya had made her even weaker with those gorgeous crystalline eyes, shimmering with so many emotions Claudine didn't have the time to decipher while in the middle of an act.

It had frustrated her to no end.

But there had been something even more infuriating; how her heart had twanged and fluttered at their first onstage kiss together-

-and how she'd returned that kiss at the closing scene, and let her thumb slip aside.

She'd barely made any contact at all, and with Tendo Maya's eyes having been closed, Claudine still can't even be sure if she'd realized it or not.

And then to have sought Maya out backstage, hidden with her behind the folds of the curtains, and clung to her like a lost child...

Presently, she grits her teeth against her pillow and growls softly.

She hates this. She hates knowing that Tendo Maya knows her secret, and she hates not knowing what she feels towards her.

She hates wanting to stay in bed all day, and she hates that she isn't able to. Everything is conflicting inside of her.

Eventually, she has no choice but to push herself up, and throw the covers off herself to begin getting ready for the day. She grabs a change of clothes and heads into her personal bathroom.

And while a shower is a basic necessity in her routine, it's also probably the worst thing she could choose to do at a time like this. Being alone with her thoughts for so long only increases her frustrations, and she has to tell herself the hot water running down her face comes only from the shower.

As soon as she's finished and changed into a comfortable set of workout clothes, she grabs a few books from her shelf and heads to the dining hall for breakfast.

She's hoping she's up early enough to avoid contact with anyone else, even Tendo Maya.

Normally she'd specifically seek out her rival - to ensure Maya didn't have to sit alone, or to prove she wasn't scared to approach her, or simply because she wanted to. Claudine can't quite be sure of her own reasoning anymore.

But today she hopes to miss her, because she isn't sure what kind of expression she should show to her.

After all, last night she'd peeled herself away from Maya and hurried off to her changing room to remove her costume, then fled straight back to her dorm room without so much as another word or glance to her partner.

Presently, she reaches the dining hall and peers cautiously inside, feeling a small wave of relief to discover it's entirely vacant.

Claudine saunters up to the counter and greets the servers with a polite smile, taking a muffin and a cup of coffee. She reads through her playbooks as she eats, a little more quickly than usual.

It's her first time since coming here that she's eaten alone, thanks to her own decision to always sit with a certain someone. She chalks her speed-eating up to the fact that she's eager to practice, not that she's nervous about that certain someone walking in through the doors to catch her off-guard.

She eventually makes herself so anxious she doesn't even finish her coffee. She picks up her books, throws away her trash, and hurries out toward the dance studio.

It's empty as expected, and she doesn't waste a second.

She stretches, hums, warms up her voice, then gets to her feet to begin the routine she's selected. She twirls through the motions, swings through the steps, struts through the techniques with all the poise and grace she harbors.

When she turns on the radio for music, she feels the tune coursing through her blood, feels the emotion in her bones. She lives the stories she reads, projects the characters she envisions, births the feeling that no one else can express.

It's all a part of her. It fuels her soul.

Time becomes irrelevant as she loses herself in her passion, clears her mind of her troubles, lets her heart race as it wishes from the thrill of it all.

She only stops when she quite literally can't continue. Her legs are heavy with ache, enough to bring her to her knees - panting. The blood is rushing through her body, pounding in her ears in a satisfying beat that proves the effort of her dance.

It's then when she hears another sound, one much louder, and much less anticipated.

The sounds of clapping patter in from the doorway, and Claudine snaps her head up and around.

Of course it's her.

Tendo Maya stands there against the wall, also dressed casually for the weekend, with the same smile just barely short of smugness.

"Bravo. That was stunning, Saijou-san."

As she begins to make her way over, Claudine suddenly can't feel her legs anymore, and she isn't sure it's solely due to exhaustion. Either way, she doesn't try to get up - not with Tendo Maya looking at her like this.

Claudine glances away and grits her teeth as she draws closer; she hadn't been prepared for this – for her. Not yet.

"Did you honestly expect anything less?" She hates how weak her own voice sounds. Clearly the breathlessness far outweighs the bit of spunk she'd been trying to work into her tone, because Maya's smile fades into a frown.

"Of course I didn't. You never give anything less than your absolute best, after all. Not even when you could stand to take it easy."

Claudine tenses a little bit as Maya kneels beside her.

"There's no time to take it easy," Claudine mutters. "If I take it easy I'll never be able to reach your level, let alone dethrone you, now will I?"

Maya is quiet for a moment, as if choosing her words carefully. Only when Claudine finally looks back up to her does she reply.

"I would say you've already reached me, wouldn't you?"

Claudine doesn't breathe. She's captivated by those eyes. Once again, she can't read this girl. She isn't sure if what she'd said had been meant in regards to skill level, or emotion.

Claudine forces herself to her feet on staggering legs and straightens up promptly.

"Well, since you've interrupted me, you might as well join. Don't you think?"

She really isn't thinking this morning. She'd been deliberately trying to avoid Maya today, and yet here she is inviting her to dance now.

Force of habit.

Or is it a manifestation of more honest feelings?

She shakes her head as Maya rises to her feet as well, smiling once again.

"I humbly accept the offer."

She takes Claudine's hand and rests one of hers hand on her hip. Claudine places her free hand onto Maya's shoulder. The next song starts before long, and as soon as it does they begin to move.

Claudine is actually rather relieved Maya takes the lead for once, because she can't focus now. Not when the girl who'd been causing her so much turmoil is right here in front of her. She can hardly concentrate, because all she can think about is the play last night, how Claudine had leaned over her and let their lips brush-

"I missed you this morning."

Maya suddenly springs the comment on her, and Claudine nearly trips on her next step.

"Eh?"

"At breakfast," Maya clarifies, steadying the slight sway in her weight. "You weren't there. I had to eat alone." Her eyes seem only partially sad, but the rest of what's in them aren't emotions directed at herself.

Claudine pretends she doesn't recognize that the rest of what's in Maya's gaze is concern for her.

"I'm sorry. I'll try not to leave you unattended anymore."

"I would very much appreciate it."

That's a line Claudine feels is genuine. She supposes hers has been the only company Maya has experienced in a long time. Now she feels almost guilty for avoiding her this morning.

Claudine huffs under her breath – only at herself – as they continue their dance.

She tries to focus on the moment. She really does. But her mind just keeps dragging her back to last night, to the tiny kiss she still isn't sure if she's more ashamed or proud of.

By the time they finish the final spin of the number, Claudine can't bear it any longer. Maya pulls her in close enough for Claudine to feel her breath, and it breaks her.

"S-Say, Tendo Maya-"

"About last night..."

"Eh?" Claudine straightens up as Maya cuts her off, almost pointedly. She falls silent, both relieved and nervous to let Maya speak first, but willing to listen nonetheless. Maya's eyes meet hers rather seriously, and her grip on Claudine's hand and waist tighten.

"Saijou-san... about what happened in the restroom..."

Claudine had been so fixated on thinking about the kiss, she hadn't even considered revisiting the other, much more mortifying aspect of last night. The discomfort must show on her face, because Maya's tone softens.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up, but I thought it was necessary. Because... I wanted to offer my assistance."

At the very least, now Claudine knows Maya hasn't been fretting about the kiss, but about something else entirely. It takes one weight off Claudine's shoulders, but replaces it with another.

"I beg your pardon?" She shakes her head, debates taking a step back, but doesn't. "That sort of thing... isn't exactly something you can help with. I appreciate the offer though."

"But what if there is something I can do...?" Maya's voice rises a fraction of a pitch in desperation, though Claudine notes she doesn't squeeze her any harder; she doesn't trap her. Just like with their practice kisses, Maya allows her plenty of room to pull away.

She can feel Maya's desire to help her as clearly as she can hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes.

Claudine is almost taken aback. No one has ever known about her secret before, and she hadn't planned on letting anyone find out.

But if someone ever did, she never expected a reaction like this. She doesn't know how to respond.

She swallows, moving back only an inch.

"If there is something you can do... then I wish you'd do it..."

Truth be told, she's tired of it. Tired of feeling that awful knot in her stomach every time she stands in front of an audience. Even when it's as casual as standing up to read a textbook passage in front of her classmates, she'll feel her chest tighten.

She's tired of having to run off before every performance to hide in the bathroom, to cling to the sink and shake like a leaf in a storm, to feel her stomach burning with such pain it makes her physically ill half the time.

She's tired of the vice grip the anxiety has on her, tight enough to reduce her to nothing more than a trembling girl on the bathroom floor, not the inspiring actress she's always dreamed of being.

Albeit, even with the stage fright, she's still managed to pull off every performance flawlessly. So she has to wonder how much more brilliantly she could perform without suffering the fright before the curtain rises.

She'd always imagined it; how much more fluent and graceful her movements would be if she wasn't still trembling from being ill, how much smoother her voice would sound if she didn't have to cough and tremble beforehand.

She wants to overcome it, because that is her next and closest step to achieving her life's goal. If she can somehow eliminate that major weakness - or at least reduce it to a less threatening level - she can't even begin to imagine how greatly it would improve her acting skills and her confidence in general.

She'd been trying to condition herself all on her own, but it hasn't worked. Perhaps having someone else on her side could be beneficial.

Especially if that someone is Tendo Maya.

Claudine mulls it all over for a moment before retaking the step she'd retracted. She moves close to Maya once again, but can't bear to look her in the eyes. So she rests her forehead against her shoulder instead and lets out a long, heavy sigh.

"Please... Even if it's just a little..."

She feels Maya's arms curl softly around her shoulders, and Claudine's convinced she's never felt safer in all her life. Maya's cheek brushes against hers, and she whispers against the shell of her ear.

"I will do everything I can. I promise you, Saijou-san."

Claudine exhales a breath that comes from the bottom of her stomach. She's wanted nothing more than to be cured of the accursed stage fright for years now, but perhaps she just hadn't been strong enough on her own.

If anyone can help her, she knows it's Tendo Maya.

She wants to thank her, for the offer if nothing else, but her pride is far too stubborn to let her speak the words. She can only hope Maya understands her meaning through the embrace.

Once the emotional intermission has drawn to a close, the two girls begin to dance once more. They practice until lunchtime, where they sit together in the dining hall as always, and then return to the studio.

Claudine would often train her weekends away even when she was by herself, but having her rival right there beside her is a huge source of motivation and invigoration.

All day long they act, dance, and sing together, offering bits of advice in between the heat of friendly competition.

When it's time for supper, both girls are equally exhausted from the rigorous day, but it's the good kind of exhaustion. They help each other keep their balance as they stagger to the door, chuckling about this or that in good-natured bantering as they head for the showers.

When they enter the restrooms, Claudine catches Maya glancing over to the shelf where her emergency bag is hidden behind the rolls of toilet paper. She stiffens a little and pointedly tugs at Maya's sleeve to draw her attention elsewhere.

They shower, change, dry their hair, and then walk back to the dorms together.

Before they part, they wish each other goodnight. And though Claudine's tone might make it sound like it's sheerly out of obligation, there is a bit of genuine feeling there as well.

She sleeps much more soundly that night, and she knows she has Maya to thank for it.

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The next time a school performance comes around – this time a recital – Claudine does her best to keep herself distracted before it is her turn to go onstage.

She's wearing a long pink gown accented with a ruby necklace, earrings, and a matching headband, standing against a wall with a book between her fingers. It's her hope to distract herself from the stress by indulging in a story. It's a method she's tried many times before, but it's never worked all that well.

She hasn't seen Maya yet since everyone had migrated to the stage to prepare, and her rival's absence is only making Claudine all the more anxious.

She tries to focus on her book, but it isn't long before her eyes are scanning the words and her mind is comprehending nothing, which only makes her more frustrated. Her stomach begins to tighten up and it's getting more difficult to swallow. She takes a deep breath, but it comes out shaky. She closes her eyes, leaning heavily back against the wall.

It's no use. She has to get away-

"Saijou-san!"

Gasping, she opens her eyes to find the person she's been seeking all evening. Tendo Maya is making her way over hurriedly, dressed in a dark blue gown with golden accents and lining. She reaches Claudine in a fluster.

"My apologies. They were having a bit of trouble in the dressing room with my clothes." She steps a little closer and lowers her voice. "Are you all right?"

Claudine can't even appreciate how pretty she looks in that dress. Her head is spinning already, and it's taking her full effort not to sway.

"I-"

She isn't sure what she'd been about to say, but she doesn't finish either way. She drops the book and brings her hand to her mouth to hold back a wave of nausea.

Maya reacts right away, reaching out to hold onto her.

"It's all right," she says calmly. "Let's find you a place to sit."

Claudine counts her blessings that no one else is around; they're all probably backstage making last-minute adjustments.

Maya leads her to a side room that's typically used as a second changing room when they have larger performances with bigger casts, but due to the nature of tonight's smaller recital, this room is empty now. Maya guides her to a couch and sits beside her, and Claudine all but collapses onto the cushion. She keeps her hands pressed tightly over her mouth as she tries to keep the bile down.

"Please-" Her eyes flash to the door they've just walked through. "Don't let anyone see..."

Maya quickly hurries to close the door and locks it, then returns to her side. Claudine feels a little better, but not much. She hunches forward, choking down another breath. Maya's hands rest warmly on her back and her stomach respectively, gently propping her up.

"Lean back. Open up your airways. Just as if you're singing." She smiles, albeit worriedly, and helps Claudine lean back against the cushions. "Close your eyes and just breathe, Saijou-san. We've got plenty of time. There's no rush."

Claudine knows she's lying and that the recital will be starting soon if it hasn't already, but the sentiment is much-appreciated. She closes her eyes as prompted, then feels Maya's hands over hers, gently prying them away from her mouth and into her lap. Claudine reaches out for one of them and holds tightly. Maya squeezes back and doesn't let go.

"Breathe," she whispers. "That's the only thing you need to worry about, Saijou-san. That's what's most important."

The tension teeming inside Claudine's chest scribbles and prickles at her insides for several moments, but as she regulates her breathing it does begin to dissipate, just a little. And when it's this bad, even just a little feels like a lot.

She doesn't let go of Maya's hand all the while, and Maya doesn't stop coaching her, occasionally stroking her fingers back through Claudine's hair.

And had her mind not been switched onto over-drive, Claudine is convinced she could've made it through this evening without needing to run to the restroom.

But she's her own downfall this time. It's all because she's embarrassed at the notion of Maya seeing her like this. She hates showing her weaknesses, especially to her rival. She feels so pathetic...

"Nngh..." Her stomach heaves suddenly, and Claudine grabs onto Maya. She opens her eyes and gives her a beseeching look. "P-Please..."

She can tell Maya is dismayed and disappointed that it's gotten this bad again, but she doesn't hesitate to help. She holds Claudine up and brings her to her feet, and together they slip out the door and go unnoticed into the restrooms.

Claudine staggers in, vision swirling as the straight tiles of the floor twist and curve beneath her shoes. If not for Maya's support she surely would have collapsed a dozen steps ago.

She reaches a stall, but Maya doesn't let her drop to her knees. Instead she lowers her gradually, rubbing a soothing hand up and down her back all the while.

"It's all right," she keeps saying as if it's the truth. "It's all right, Saijou-san. Just breathe."

Claudine tries. She really tries.

She doesn't want to throw up again. She's tired of it. It hurts. It's embarrassing...

In her frustration she begins to cry, and it only makes her stomach more upset. At the very least Maya is here to help keep the hair out of her face when the inevitable happens.

And it doesn't last nearly as long as it did last time. It's brief, and oddly enough once it's over, Claudine actually feels immensely better, as though she'd simply needed to clear her system of one bad seed. She reaches for a handful of toilet paper as she catches her breath, bringing it to her lips. She wrinkles her nose and turns away as she flushes the evidence of her sickness away, then lingers in the aftermath.

Maya's arms have found their way around her in a full embrace now. Her hand continues mapping patterns along Claudine's back, and in wake of all this discomfort it's the closest thing she's felt to 'better' in hours.

Maya buries her face against her partner's shoulder as Claudine regains her breath for a moment. That's when she hears the soft apology.

"I'm sorry..."

Claudine drops the handful of paper into the toilet and clings to Maya's dress with quivering fingers.

"You've nothing to apologize for, Tendo Maya. You didn't curse me with this condition..."

"But I could've done more to help-" Maya eases back, and her eyes look as though they are about to overflow. She lifts her hand to the side of Claudine's face and gently thumbs away the remnants of her tears. "I'm sorry, Saijou-san. I truly thought I could help. But it seems I'm inadequate-"

"Enough," Claudine huffs. "I can't have my rival proclaiming she's inadequate. If you're inadequate, then what does that make me?"

"But-"

"None of this is your fault, so don't start acting like it is. People who take all the blame upon themselves are exhausting, wouldn't you agree?"

"Saijou-san..."

Claudine puffs up her chest as much as she can manage and starts getting up. Maya hastily follows.

"S-Saijou-san, wait! Don't move so suddenly-"

"I feel fine now. I can move as I please."

Once they're on their feet together, Maya tries to keep holding her up, but Claudine gingerly brushes her off, making her way to the sink. She splashes cold water onto her face before burying it into a paper towel. When she next looks up, Maya has already procured her cosmetics bag and hands it to her.

Claudine might have just been ill, but she hasn't forgotten her manners.

"Thank you." She unzips the bag and begins pawing through.

Maya comes closer, her brow still furrowed.

"Saijou-san, you don't have to go onstage tonight."

"Haven't we had this conversation already? Yes I do." She pulls out her toothbrush and paste, then begins to brush thoroughly. She isn't surprised when Maya keeps trying to persuade her otherwise.

"This is a recital. You aren't playing a lead role in a play tonight. We can skip one singer. It wouldn't be a huge deal."

Claudine feels her eyebrow twitch as she leans forward to spit and start rinsing. When she's finished and swaps her toothbrush for her makeup kit, she doesn't even take her eyes off her reflection as she replies.

"And what good would come of that? Of running away just because I can? If I start skipping things now, that means this damned sickness has won, and I won't let it."

She makes sure to cover the tear trails down as far as her neck, coating her cheeks with foundation and then coloring them with blush. When she does finally take her eyes off of her reflection, she finds Maya looking back at her with a stern expression.

"I suppose you're right."

"Of course I am." Claudine takes her bag and struts back over to the stool to climb up and hide it away again. And unlike last time there's no swaying or shaking in her legs. She turns back to Maya and smiles. "I wasn't lying to you earlier, Tendo Maya. I truly do feel better this time. I think I just needed to get it out of my system."

"But still-"

"Believe me," she stops her. "After years and years of dealing with this and knowing just how severe it can get, this was a blessing. And I know I have you to thank for it. So thank you." She picks up both of Maya's hands and squeezes in earnest. She wants her to know that she did make a difference, that she did help Claudine tonight. "I'll be counting on you in the future as well, Tendo Maya."

Maya is quiet for a moment, searching Claudine's eyes. But it appears she can find no signs of deceit, because Claudine truly does mean what she says. Maya sighs.

"Are you certain you're well enough to go onstage?"

Claudine tugs her in by the wrists and gives her a twirl.

"Why don't you sit back and listen, and let my exceptional singing answer that question?"

With her lips curved into something between a smirk and a smile, she heads out of the restroom, hearing Maya follow more slowly behind her.

Claudine doesn't doubt that Maya keeps an eye on her until the very last possible second when it's her turn to go onstage, but her concern is truly unnecessary this time around.

Claudine feels empowered. She's never felt this confident before in all her life going onstage after being sick. She never knew she could feel this good. It just makes her wonder again how much better she could feel if she were to overcome her condition entirely one day.

From that evening forward, as she steals the stage and the audience's hearts with her song, she's decided on a new goal. She won't be afraid of her sickness anymore. She won't let it drag her down any longer.

With Tendo Maya's help, she's going to overcome it. She's going to beat it. Once and for all.

And she knows it may take time, perhaps even years, but if there's one thing she's just as confident in as herself, it's the fact that Tendo Maya will be by her side until graduation, and perhaps even after that.

With her assistance, Claudine knows she can do greater things than she'd ever thought possible.

She looks forward to it.

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As the weeks progress throughout the semester, Claudine is making gradual progress toward overcoming her stage fright. Tendo Maya never leaves her side for a second when she's suffering a breakdown or panic attack. She sees Claudine through it all, every time, without fail.

Gradually, the unease Claudine feels before a performance begins to dwindle, little by little. Maya distracts her with conversation, or by reviewing certain dance steps, always giving Claudine something more appealing to think about than the knots in her stomach.

The first few times she still ends up getting sick, but it's less intense each time.

After a few months, Claudine stops getting sick altogether.

The panic attacks still come, as does the distressing hyperventilation, but Maya holds her through all of it, always with soothing words and gentle hands.

When Claudine feels weak, Tendo Maya is her strength. And eventually Claudine begins to take some of that strength and make it her own.

In just a few months she's gone from losing her lunch before a performance, to nothing more than a brief shortness of breath.

And it's all thanks to Tendo Maya.

Well, perhaps not all of it, but most of it.

The fraction that isn't thanks to her is thanks to the other friends Claudine has made over the course of the semester, girls like Futaba, Junna and Nana who had spoken to her on her first day. They, along with Karen, Hikari, and even Kaoruko, have always been rather kind to her. And by association, they've gotten close to Maya as well.

It's gotten to the point where their group sits together at mealtimes now, livening up Claudine's and Maya's previously-stoic suppers. They're always laughing and joking and goofing around together in the background somewhere. There's always something to talk about, be it Karen's sloppy dancing or Kaoruko's pettiness or Nana's cooking.

All of them have helped Claudine through her rough patch and have helped her overcome the worst of her stage fright. Because while none of them knew about it, there was only so much Maya could handle alone.

They've all healed her. Claudine knows this from the bottom of her heart.

Maya has helped condition her into associating her performances with only calming and relaxing things. She's helped her through the ugliest bouts of illness as well as the most fragile moments of vulnerability.

But Claudine's other friends have helped build her up mentally, socially, and emotionally during the daytimes. Every class period or lunch block or practice time, there's always someone there to talk to her or do a number with her.

She loves hearing her name in their voices, loves hearing how they call her differently and with varying levels of excitement: Karen's excited call of "Kuro-chan!" always makes her heart happy, and Futaba's nickname of "Kuroko" makes her smile too.

The others all call her by her last name, which is fine by her. But she does often wonder what it would be like to be called by her first. Perhaps that would come in time.

Thanks to her friends and to Tendo Maya's unflagging efforts, Claudine's school days and performances at Seisho Academy soon become her favorites she'd ever experienced. She now spends her days smiling and laughing, striving and improving, thriving and flourishing.

But she knows as well as anyone at the top of their class that not all peers are on her side or in her favor.

For every gleeful cry of her name, there's a darker, more hateful one somewhere in the back of the room. For every applause and phrase of congratulations spoken to her, there's a hiss of contempt.

She does what she does best and acts.

Acts like she doesn't notice them.

Acts like they aren't fazing her.

But over time they pile up, and the mask of her indifference starts wearing thin.

. . .

It had started out verbal, with just the mutterings of jealous classmates. But only after she'd gotten closer to Maya and begun secretly surpassing her stage fright had things escalated.

It was gradual, beginning with finding tacks in her shoes and threatening notes left in her desk. They all said things like, "Conceited bitch" and "Miss 2nd Place", targeting her inability to surpass Tendo Maya in particular.

She soon begins throwing the notes away without even reading them, believing that ignoring the problem will snuff it out altogether. If she has nothing to give a reaction about, the petty girls will likely give up and move on.

That's what'd always happened in the past.

But not this time.

She has an inkling about which girls her tormentors could be, but she has no concrete proof.

Either way, they're relentless.

She soon finds notes every day, not just in her desk but in her shoe locker and her changing cubby as well. She always hides and disposes of them quickly.

But as the weeks go on, it starts dragging at the back of her mind.

She begins to dread finding more notes, more threats.

She begins having nightmares about people finding out about her stage fright and the ridicule it would bring.

She begins flinching at the snide comments of her classmates.

But she keeps putting on her mask in front of her friends and in front of Maya. Even though it's beginning to break, she holds the pieces together and puts on her best smile. She giggles at Karen's jokes, helps Mahiru with her homework, listens to Futaba vent about Kaoruko's antics, eats Nana's snacks and discusses curriculum with Junna.

And she continues sharing books with Maya, continues practicing with her after school, continues seeking her out before the performances.

It's on one such night when the final blow hits, and the mask shatters into pieces...

. . .

Claudine has just finished smoothing out her hair, waiting outside the dressing room for Maya to get changed into her dress. There's another recital tonight, and this time Claudine is admiring the look of a long golden dress on herself. She knows Maya's will be red, and she can't wait to see her in it.

She's in high spirits as she waits for her partner, eager to get onstage and perform a duet with her.

And that's when she hears the whispers of the demons from the shadows.

"That Claudine Saijou-san."

"What a bitch."

"She's an elite, but she can't beat Tendo, so she's just nothing. It's pathetic, really."

"She's a fake and a whore."

"I hear she purges to make herself look skinny."

"Really? Gross!"

"If that's true, she should try it a little more often, then."

That's what finally gets to her.

Not the comparisons to Maya or the projection of her shortcomings. But the notion that they might have discovered her secret.

Her stomach knots in a horribly familiar way. After months of healing and combatting the panic, it grips her tenfold now when it returns.

She runs.

She bursts through the bathroom doors and throws herself forward, heaving everything up as her throat swirls with burning bile.

She's only vaguely aware of Maya there beside her. She must have exited her changing stall just in time to see Claudine take off.

She's calling for her, crying out her name, but Claudine can't even look up.

She just coughs until there's nothing left, then throws herself at Maya and sobs until her heart feels like it's going to give out.

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A/N: Don't worry, Maya did not reveal Claudine's secret. The bullies simply started making up their own random jabs and happened to get close to the truth without even knowing it.