Lyra's Documentary [Short]

>Be a day in ponyville
>Suddenly, you get this odd feeling
>You look out your window
>Lyra?
>Talking to a pony holding a ... Video camera?
>They start walking towards your home
>hwat the shit
>Lyra breaks down your door
>"There it is... the infamous humanous anonymous!"
>They are recoding you for some reason
"Lyra, what the fuck..."
>"Notice how it becomes defensive when its territory is entered by others! the human has been known to defend its territory with extreme ferocity! You should never disturb the Human in its natural habitat!"
>Damn straight you shouldn't
"Lyra, can you please-"
>"one should never provoke a human- But I will, So I can show YOU how to survive!"
>Holy Fuck Lyra Grylls in the building
>She suddenly throws a small pebble at you
>It hits your nuts
>You double in over in pain, Jimmies fully rustled
>You get back up
>"They key thing is to keep your distance and show them that you mean no harm!"
"If you mean no harm then why the Fuck did you throw a rock at my nuts!??!"
>"The human will make a lot of noise when agitated, the main thing is to keep your cool when this happens!"
"Thats it"
>You run at lyra and cameraman
>Sparta kick them both outta your house
>You run a hot bath and let your nuts recover from todays ordeal
>Just another day in ponyville

Part 2

>Day in ponyville
>Watchin the news
>Like all normal adults do
>..." incarcerated in a maximum securtiy prison. In other news, a new documentary is causing a storm after it was released exclusively on ponytube."
>dis gon b gud
>"The documentary features a daring unicorn confronting a strange and dangerous beast, supposedly called a "human".
>JIMMIE RUSTLE LEVEL CRITICAL
>"The documentary has spawned a series of internet memes and image macros on the imageboard chan4ponyz.org, and has become the most searched for term on froogle."
>you turn the TV off and run upstairs
>open your macbook
>Thats right, your a mac user
>Deal with it
>ponynet open
>chan4ponyz.org
>Sure enough, your face is plastered over every thread imaginable
>"Bump foar moar!"
>"moar plz"
>"All my money!"
>"DUBS BITCH"
>"who has pron of this guy?"
>"Imma fotoshoop him with Celestia!"
>Read the comments.
>OH fuck.
>Suddenly, you hear a wave of voices and noise outside
>you look out your window
>Journalists, photographers,
>Fans???
>Wearing T SHIRTS???
>This is too much
>You jump out of your back window
>You hit the ground hard, and run
>to the everfree forest
>You make a small shelter, and live there for a week while the hype dies down.
>Just another day in ponyville.