Happy thoughts.

I fucking hate her.
There's no other way to describe what I'm feeling at the moment, other than those words.
Every. Single. Day.
It's always something with her, even the tiniest thing she'll flip the fuck out over because it's either her way or the highway, and i'm fucking sick of it.
I'm sick of the constant yelling.
I'm sick of feeling afraid.
I'm sick of the constant threats of homelessness.
i'm sick of pretending I have any fucks left to give about that woman.
That screaming, shouting, bitching, criticizing, anal retentive, piece of shit bitch.
I dislike her, I dislike everything about her.
I dislike every little fucking thing that she tries to pull and then she hides behind this mask of attempted friendliness like there's nothing wrong.

I'm tired of being scared to voice my own thoughts or even just go somewhere. I've always got to report in where ever I go, never a single moment where when she's around that I instantly want to be somewhere else. Even if its just staring at a blank screen wondering what the fuck I'm going to do with my life.
I write books, I'm an author, an artist, a creator. But the stuff I want to do vids on, the thing that I most want to do.
Is rage against the fucking bitch, putting me through fucking hell for no reason, trying to snuff out whatever semblance of my old self she can, pretending to fucking care when in truth any little thing I do she'll just use it against me.

I don't like her.
I really, really, really, don't like her.
Every time she starts yelling, I fucking tune her out, only paying attention to the directions she gives andn othing more.
For years she's told me to mind my own business and only two years ago, she suddenly wants me to start reaching out? then she has the nerve to follow me on twitter after I blocked her once? I blocked her a second time with her alt account.
Twitter, outside of discord was my last little refuge to just haul off and say whatever was on my mind without her fucking having a damned opinion about what I said.
Constant fucking criticism...
every. Single. Day.
Done with this shit. done with it.