My ''Call Me Maybe'' Parody FT. OBAMA

I'M WATCHING YOU IN MY YARD, MAKING MY NIPPLES ROCK HARD. WISH YOU'D LOSE THE BODYGUARD, SO I CAN LICK YOUR FACE. I LOVE YOUR BLACK NAPPY HAIR, AND THOSE HOT SUITS THAT YOU WEAR. I'M WEARING YOUR UNDERWEAR, THAT I STOLE FROM YOUR PLACE. I'M A TOTAL PSYCHO, SPYING THROUGH A WINDOW. I'LL KILL THAT MICHELLE HOE, AND TAKEOVER AS FIRST LADY! HI NICE TO MEET YOU, I'M FREAKING CRAZY. WHEN I KILL YOUR WIFE, YOU WILL MARRY ME. CARLY OBAMA, WILL BE MY NEWWWWWWW NAME. I'VE BEEN YOUR STALKER, SINCE YOUR FIRST CAMPAIGN. HEY I DON'T KNOW YOU, YOU'RE FREAKING CRAZY. YOU LOOK LIKE A DUDE, YOUR EYES ARE LAZY, AND YOU REALLY NEED TO STOP STALKING ME, YOUR PALE SKIN AND BANGS ARE SUPER CREEPY. YOU MIGHT NOT REALIZE YET, BUT SOON WE'LL BE HAVING SEX, INSIDE THE OVAL OFFICE, YOU'RE TOTALLY INSANE. MAYBE IF I WASH MY CAR, IT WILL MAKE YOUR WIENER HARD. PLEASE STOP OR I'M GONNA BARF, YOU LOOK WORSE THAN MCCAIN. NOW I'M GONNA FALL OFF, OF THIS NISSAN'S ROOFTOP, HELP MY HEAD HIT A ROCK, OMG IT'S REALLY BLOODY. I SNEAKED IN YOUR ROOM, WHILE YOU WERE AWAY, AND STOLE YOUR BOXERS, THEY SMELL GOOD DON'T THEY? GET THOSE DAMN BOXERS, OUT OF MY FACE, OR ELSE I'M GONNA CALL THE CIA. NO PLEASE I LOVE YOU, JUST GIVE ME ONE TASTE. TAKE ONE STEP CLOSER AND I'LL SCREAM OUT RAPE. WAIT WHO THE HELL'S THAT GUY, PLAYING THE BASS? OH THAT'S OSAMA, MY DEATH WAS A FAKE! WHEN PEOPLE FAKED LOOSING THEIR LIFE IT MAKES ME LOOK BAD. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? THIS MAKES ME SO SO MAD. BUT SECRETLY I'VE ALWAYS LIKED YOUR SEXY BARED AND HAT, WILL YOU BE MY MAN? SO CALL ME MAYBE. - END BITCHES -