Oneshot: True Tales of Human Drama

*Day I fellate Slasher's ego on Earth*

>Getting food at Jack in the Box with a couple friends a few weeks ago
>Because drunk munchies are a thing
>Previously in the day, I'd just got done reading 'The Candyman'
>One friend makes a comment that reminded me of said story
>He then asks why I'm suddenly laughing
>OhShit
>Whatever, we're rolling with it
>I cock my hands back and hadouken him with marinara and noodles, explaining the Flutterrape thread on /mlp/
>Start explaining 'The Candyman', and the general reactions of everybody in the thread
>He has a horrified expression on his face;  he's a brony but generally doesn't pay attention to the more depraved sections of the fandom
>My other friend is NOT a brony, and has a likewise horrified expression (I don't think he knew this shit existed; I may have scarred him)
>I explain the reactions (before the last post with the airbrush) are generally 'Why would you post that' and 'You're one sick fuck, Slasher'
>And one post praising it
>I then explained to him the tone I got from the thread

>'There's an auditorium, and there's a guy onstage sitting on a stool with a script in his hand'
>'He's reading aloud, weaving a tale of implied interspecies pedophilia, saying that he's saving Sweetie Belle for last, for dessert'
>'The entire auditorium is sitting in horrified silence, hoping this doesn't go where they know it's going'
>'But there's one guy'
>'This ONE FUCKING GUY'
>'Who, interrupting Slasher, proceeds to stand up and shout:'
THIS FUCKIN' GUY IS DOING GOD'S WORK, RIGHT HERE
>Back in reality, my brony friend has just taken a drink of Dr. Pepper
>Upon hearing this, he starts laughing so hard he starts choking on his soda
>He's laughing, but coughing, and then he goes wide-eyed and takes off for the trash can
>Still laughing, he proceeds to vomit up his entire meal
>My other friend and I are laughing so hard we're crying
>First at the story, then at the fact that my other friend found it so funny he choked, then puked
>mfw Slasher inspired a story so funny it caused a friend of mine to choke, then puke
>mfw there were no questions asked as to why I was even IN a Flutterrape thread
>It was a great fucking night