Thread 100: Stories 16-30

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 >DT
"Past DT"
~~~~

>...

".....Aboooout... just after hearth warming?"

>It bothers me so much you can tell how much time has past by how many addons Sexy has.

"You could tell what day I came from in the past by how many he has."

>Touche.

"We know ourselves. For we are DT."

>...

"...Make out while they watch?"

>FUCK YES

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 >Celestia
"Past Celestia"
~~~

"...Update me."

>Shiny and me almost died and I got a new... interest.

"..."

>Drowning is fun.

"Ah... you know, if I didn't think we'd burn the planet down-"

>Yeah, me too. Just... ALL over that.

"Unf."

>We are sexy.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and folks chill! Now for our main question...What do you mean I have too much smut!?!

[It means I've been fighting your porn collection that have come to life...which was quite extensive.]

>Wait all of it? Oooooh...that's a lot to fight.

[That's an understatement. A vagina whale? Really?]

>And sperm whales too!

[Oh yes...we are aware of them. We are not only going to have to bathe here, but when we wake up too.]

>Did you...happen to save any of my porn?

[...Funny you should mention that...I did.]
Luna levitates the head of a Pinkie sexdoll.
[It was comforting to have around...so that I can do this.]
Hits Pinkie in the head with it.

>OW...I might have deserved that.

'You keep a sexdoll of yourself?'

>Yeah, in case I was in the mood for selfcest or assisted self-masterbation.

'...hmm.'

"You look sticky, Auntie Luna. What's with the white sploshes?"

[First of all, I'm not your aunt. Second of all, figure it out.]

"...there was a glue monster?"

[...you know what? Let's go with that. That's how I'm going to remember it.]

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 >Chrysalis
"Past Chrysalis"
~~~

"Soooo, unchanged?"

>Erm...

"Totally unchanged, right? No difference whatsoever between nightmare night and now?"

>Ahhhh...

"Except for getting the Shiny D. I got the Shiny D by now, right?"

>Uhhhhh...

"Yeah, I probably got the Shiny D... and no other changes at all since then!"

>...

"Did anything interesting happen this night? Interesting and SEXY perhaps?"

>...

"...What?"

>Buckle up.

"OH MYYYYY~!"

>Sadly, no... not for that.

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 >29
"P29"
~~~~

>....

"...STILL not yet!?"

>...n-no...

"Fuck this."

BLAM!

>OH SHIIII

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 >42
"Past 42"
~~~

"Hrmph. I assume nothing major has occurred with us, as unlike those others we are stable and thus needing no personal change or growth. At best, I assume myself and you by extension have become slightly more efficient at battle?"

>...Well you're half right.

"Ah. A pity, I hoped for some improvement in our fighting prowess, but I admit we are already quite the pinnacle fighting powers."

>...

"What?"

>Cadence's tight pink bottom.

"...SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN!"

POW!

>Oh sweet hivemind, is that what I looked like!? No wonder I didn't fool anybody!

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"Past Spike"
>Spike

"AJ's turned into a Princess? THAT'S GREAT! I can help her out and Twilight at the same time, oooh, maybe we can even all work together to b some... super Princess Duo... and me!"

>...Wow

"Well, i would prefer if Rarity became a Princess herself... she'd be great! And all those jewels and gema to go alongside those, delicious!"

>...Huh, I guess it did seem cool

"...Well.... How did things turn out for you-... woah what is that"

>...A gun

"...Why do you have a.... gun?"

>...Reeeeeeeeally poor life choices

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 >18
"Past 18"
~~~

"...Not yet?"

>HE KISSED MEEEEEE!

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

>"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>2
"Past 2"
~~~

>....

"Still awesome?"

>Mah house got punched by a big monster but it's all better now.

"Neat!"

>And I gots a new friend!

"GASP!"

>Misses Spitfire hangs around now!

"AH DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS BUT I LIKE IT!"

>YEAH WE DO!

"MARCHMALLEY BUMP!"

*BUMP!*

"...So is she in Shiny and Caddy's hatums?"

>She doesn't wear a hat, but Mommy said she could borrow hers if she wanted to.

"That makes sense- WAIT A MINUTE!"

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 >Sunset
"Past Sunset"
~~~

"....I have SEVERAL questions-"

>GET BACK THROUGH THE PORTAL GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK YOU DON'T WANT IT YOU DON'T NEED IT IT'S NOT WORTH IT GO BACK GO BACK GOBACKGOBACKGOBACKGOBACKGOBAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKGOGOOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBAAAAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

"...I get the feeling me coming home was a mistake...."

>KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

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 >Past Acty
"Current Acty"
~~~~

>Soooo... does my life pick up at any point?

"Well, I get a new job, but it's under a changeling."

>Really?

"Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I'm appreciative, it's just... all day he's riding me, he just never lets up."

>Shiiiittt...

"I walk home every day with numb legs, a head that won't stop hurting and the sound of his voice ringing in my brain. He's so demanding, and my ass has never hurt more!"

>O-oh... crap...

"Right? That's not even the worst of it. The worst of it is that JJ has to watch."

>Oh no! Not that! Anything but that!

"Yeah, he won't leave, so he just gets to watch the boss ride me like a mule every single day. It's really heartbreaking for him, I know, but it's not like I can leave. It's... it's just something I have to put up with."

>Fuck... oh fuck... to think I fell so far...

"Yeah..."

>...A desk job? Really? ME!?

"I KNOWWW!"

>I can't think of any job more demeaning than a desk job under the heel some jerk! This is by far the worst possible job I could have taken just to get off the streets. I'd rather do anything else, ANYTHING, than this, I don't care how gross it was!

"I know, I know... but hey, at least our hair looks good."

>Oh... okay then. That's not so bad.

"Yep. One thing this job has going for me, my hair is getting all sorts of stuff in it."

>Awesome! Maybe it's not so bad after all...

"...I get facials too."

>Sold!


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 >Previous 77
"77"
~~~~

>Ahhh, this again. Past or future?

"Future."

>I see. Anything big happen? Nightmare night is fun, but it's been rather boring around here.

"...."

>...So, that's what it looks like when we smile.

"...'

>I don't like it.

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 >Chrysalis
"Past Chrysalis"
~~~

>Ahhhh, my past self, I take it?

"How do you know I'm not the future you?"

>You do not have the air of total victory about you as I do.

"Ohhh, I suppose you are right. My last recollection is nightmare Night. Tell me, my self to be, how is our plan progressing?"

>Soon... soon we shall have more than we ever dreamed. More than just survival.

"Oh? To what extent?"

>Queens.

"Ohhhh?"

>Under our command.

"Ohhhh~"

>And the magic of the Titan.

"Oooooohhhhhhh!"

>The secrets of the hivemind.

"OHHHH~"

>And... we've totally kissed Shiny twice.

"NNNGH!"

>That good?

"Oh... Ohhhh wow, I need a cigarette."

>Ohhh yes.

"..."

>...But chapter seven of Knight of the Hive isn't out yet.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS IS NOT A FUTURE I WANT TO LIVE INNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

>...i know...

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 >Past Cadence
"Cadence"
~~~

>Oh! Neat! Me!... What's going on in the future?

"I kissed a changeling yesterday."

>...

"..."

>...

"...I liked it."

>............SHINYYYYYYYYYY! GET YOUR SISTER! WE NEED TO DO A TIMEY WHIMEY THING!

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 >Pinkie
"Past Pinkie"
~~~~

>Nothing much different, actually.

"SERIOUSLY!?"

>Yeah, we don't do a whole lot.

"OH COME ON!"

>I know. I mean, we're friends with Chrysalis now, but other than that ehhhhhh?

"...I don't even get another Partyland?"

>I'd drop that, nobody wants to do that one again.

"Awwwww. But it can be so fun!"

>Bad memories, what can I say?

"But flying party islands!"

>Flying party islands, yeah.... sorry.

"RATS!"

>...Our NC talkshow is great, though.

"Oh?"

>Yep! Lots of cool adventures and such!... Gets kinda weird sometimes though.

"Oh well... as long as I'm doing something... sooo, speaking of NC-"

>Yeah, did that a LOT more.

"...I don't mind."

>Weirdly? Me neither. Huh.

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