Thread 7: Stories 135-150

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>DT
~Silver Spoon~
"Applebloom"
'Scootaloo'
-Sweetie Belle-
[Bot Macintosh]
{Big Macintosh}
~~~~~
After school, the the five fillies all flee from the schoolhouse like batponies out of hell

~Everyday.... My life flashes before my eyes.~

'DT, please tell me you have enough ammo to get us through tomorrow?'

>Pfft, do you think I'm your peasant, dirty pony farming friend? Of course I have plenty of ammo.

-Aren't you an earth pony too?-

>Shut up, blank flank, nobody likes you.

~Actually, you guys have grown on me a bit-~

>SHUT UP SILVER SPOON!

'Then I guess it's out of the question if you'll actually be generous enough to SHARE a weapon or two someday.'

>PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT-

Whrr-chk! Whrr-chk!

"... Big Mac?"

[*BZZT!* APPLE it is I [INSERT NAME HERE] to take you back home where we shall commit incestuous acts of earth pony degeneracy]

~Wow, okay, Tiara, this is going too far, even for a joke.~

[*BZZT!* Come with me APPLE or you will be spank-ed! I will count to 3!]

'AB, run!'

"Runnin'!"

-Keep away from Applebloom, you dumb toaster!-

[*BZZT!* ALERT! NON-COMPLIANCE DETECTED! INITIATING SUBDUEL PROCEDURES!]

Bot Macintosh expels electricity around, tazing Scoots, Sweetie, and Silver Spoon while DT rolls back.

>What the hell has that freak of nature done now?

Bot Macintosh sprouts rockets and gives chase to Applebloom.

"HEEEEALP! SOME ONE HEEEALP!"

{NOPE!}

The real Big Mac leaps out and bucks his robot double.

Only to simply dent a thick steel shield and getting shocked unconscious.

"Big mac!"

Applebloom runs over and shields her fallen brother while the robot closes in.

[APPLE you will come with me!]

"... Jus' don' hurt mah family 'r friends anymore, okay?"

Applebloom doesn't struggle as she's snatched in a net and the robot begins to fly off


>HEY, TIN COLT!

Bot Macintosh pauses in the air and turns to see DT with a rocket launcher

>BACK TO OZ WITH YOU! MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

She fires salvo after salvo of missiles, each one locked onto the robot and blows it to pieces

Applebloom takes a hard landing but is otherwise unhurt.

"Tiara... Ya saved mah life!"

>Don't mention it. Really, please don't.

She walks over to the smoldering wreckage and gathers it up in the net it held Applebloom in and begins to walk off.

>oh, one more thing, blank flank.

DT tosses her portable phone to Applebloom

>Call some help for Silver Spoon, your friends, and brother. I'd do it but someone is conspicuously missing from all this and I need answers.

~Epilogue~

DT is sitting in her room drawing up plans when Derpy knocks on the window with a message for her.

Apparently from royalty.

Inside is a golden medal and a signed letter from Princess Applejack herself, commending her swift action and personally thanking her for protecting her family.

Rather than throw it away, DT can't help but smile and put it right on her desk with full intent to show her father.

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>AJ56
“Zecora”
_________

>Woooow, look at those stripes! And that awesome hairstyle! You must be the new girl Zecora, right?

“Indeed, my excitable friend of Changeling descent, so in this new castle is where my time is spent.”

>...and you rhyme, too? Cool! But why…?

“A fascinating tale of humor and dread, tis the result of getting bopped on my head.”

>Wow, for real?

“An incident transpired in my youth, but I assure you of its truth!”

>That ain’t the only thing that’s truthful around here…

“Oh? Then do not leave me in suspense, what other truth do you sense?”

In the blink of an eye, 56 had coasted around to Zecora’s backside, slapping his hooves to either side of her hips, just over her cutie mark.

>Your plot is outta this world big!

Zecora blinked, her tail swishing.

“I do not quite understand your fascination, big rumped mares are the norm in my nation.”

>R-really?! No way! Oh man, that sounds like heaven….

“While it’s cute where your affection is placed, what is it you’re doing with your face?”

>Nuzzling some sweet Zecora booty… mwaaaaah….

“...Will you be done fairly soon? There are places to be before Luna’s moon.”

>Mmmm, I’ve got a moon riiiiight here….

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
'Cadence'
~~~

*BOOM!*

>TWILIGHT I NEED YOU!

"...Pros, she's using my name and is asking for assistance. Cons, she just blew my door to door heaven and is now shaking me."

>I need you to make a virus that can only be cured by having sex with a Changeling!

"...Confusion is over-riding stupidity, awaiting further input."

'DON'T DO IT TWILIGHT!'

"Pros, request is coming from my sister in law. Cons, my sister in law thinks I'm dumb enough to do this without her telling me not to, my sister in law is also shaking me. Need more data."

>Come on, please! I'll order one of my Changelings to be a guinea pig!

"Pro Chrysalis side has taken lead."

'I'll tell you how to get a real stallion!'

"...Pro Chrysalis side has taken the FAR lead."

'She only wants to do it so she can sleep with Shiny!'

"...Neither side is now in the lead, it's all confusion."

>Ugh! Look, we were talking about this, and we came to the conclusion that if Shiny were infected with a FATAL disease, you personally could not find a cure, AND time was of the essence, then she would be totally fine with a Changeling sleeping with Shiny, and NOT hold it against either party!

'Not you specifically!'

>Right, sorry, make it so it has to be done by a QUEEN Changeling.

'THAT WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL!'

"...So let me get this straight, you want me to create a weirdly specific, FATAL virus with a time limit, infect my BBBFF with it, and sit back and refuse to cure him, all so that you, specifically, can sleep with him."

>Right!

"...And rather than laugh hysterically at the mere IDEA that I would do all of this, you rushed over right along side her, from the Empire I assume, specifically to stop me from going through with this ethically unsound, non-beneficial science designed solely to infect my brother with a specific and untested ailment."

'Right!'

"...Get the fuck out of my lab."

>Jerk!

'Really, no need to be so rude.'

"...ARM ALL SECURITY SYSTEMS!"

~ARMING!~

> 'Leaving!'

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>Twilight
"Spike"
~~~~~
"C'mon, Twilight, you're not still mad at me for Discord fixing my leg are you?"

>I studied and studied hard to learn non-TWIENCE! ways of healing you, Spike! It was a long and painful process I had to watch you suffer through.

"It's not like I ASKED Discord to help me. You know that guy does his own thing."

>Hmph!

"C'mon, Twilight. Tell you what, next time I'm fatally wounded, I'll let you rebuild me however you want. Chest lasers, gatling shoulders, rockets installed in my [GIGANTIC TAGER!]. Sky's the limit!"

>*Sniffs* You really mean it?

"I do."

>So... You'll even let me give you an octogonal body.

"Of course!"

>With freeway on-ramps for arms?

"with all the cannons you can fit on them?"

>And a heart as black as coal?

"Hey, it'll keep Chrysalis from feeding on me.

>Oh, Spike! You're my BLBFF!

"You're mine too, Twilight."

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>Spike
"MM"
'29'
~~~~~~~

>I'm here to see the mayor.

'And I am sure she is just THRILLED you are here. Really. So thrilled you should, I don't know, go in the door? Don't want to keep her waiting.'

>Aren't you going to tell her I'm here?

'Already did. Magic! And by magic I mean this nifty little invention called a "buzzer". Stop bugging me.'

>I can't tell if you're good at your job or terrible.

'Well, if it was the latter you were supposed to have been carrying a body bag. I suppose I'm in the clear?'

>What?

'GO. IN.'

>Eeesh, fine.

*SLAM!*

>...Kind of rude.

"OH SWEET MERCY NO!"

To his amusement, she ducks under the desk.

"I'm doing a good job! I'M DOING A GOOD JOB!"

*CLICK!*

>Huh. Guess so.

Slowly, she peers over the corner of her desk.

"I... I'm doing a good job?"

>Yep.

"I'm doing a good job..."

>You okay?

"Y-yeah, it's just... I don't know how to take this. I was kind of hoping I could turn it around, but..."

>Didn't think you'd actually do it?

"...Hey, remember when the Parasprites ate the town, and I didn't do anything?"

>Yep.

"Remember when a bear made of stars ran through my streets, and nothing."

>Uh huh.

"No guards, no safety precautions, no nothing. Just, hey! Hope that doesn't happen again. I-I couldn't even organize a winter wrap up. Something that happens EVERY YEAR. You'd think I would just have to get it right one time, and it's set, but never once... I was a terrible mayor."

>That you were.

"..."

>Hey, no need for the glaring, just telling it like it is. You sucked, there's no getting around that. In more ways then one, and you know what I mean.

Judging by the very stark shade of crimson she just turned, she did.

"I stopped..."

>Paying 'lip service'? Good for you. I didn't really care about that, but it's nice all the same.

"So... why did you come down here?"

>Oh, you know, just came down to visit Applebloom, and thought I'd stop by and tell you... Good job, keep it up. Because from here on out? No more threats, and I mean that in a good way. You don't have to worry about me hurting you, or raining vengeance for making Applejack's life harder. From here on out? I want you to do this because you want to be a good mayor, and nothing else. If not, step down. Not just for yourself, but for them. They deserve that much.

He hums happily as he turns around and starts to leave.

"T-thanks."

He doesn't have to look at her, he just gives a thumbs up, and walks away.

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>AJ 12
"Cherry Jubilee"
'???'
~~~

>Thanks for seeing me.

"Why, I do declare, ya'll are just the most peculiar of sorts Ah' ever did see round these parts. What a strange little set o' fangs you have!"

>...I'm a Changeling.

"Hmm? Heard a thing or two about them, but never saw one up close. Strange little creature, ya' are!"

>...So about this job. You were kind of vague about it

"Vague? Why, Ah' have no idea what you could be talkin' about. All ah' said was that Ah' needed someone with strong legs, someone with a ridged spine, who's not afraid of a little physical activity and is ready and willing to get down and dirty!"

>...Still not sure, clarify?

"Mah good sir, ah' deal in the sale and barter of a needed resource. Why, Ah' cannot imagine someone goin' through their lives without one of mah' services! If not for me, Whipped Creme just wouldn't be the same, ya' hear?"

>Ahhhh, I see where this is going.

"Yes, we admit that the work is gonna leave ya' with a sore back, and achin' hooves. Ya'll ain't gonna walk straight after yer' first week! But Ah' do declare, it's all worth it to see the smile we put on our customers faces. That sense of satisfaction is somethin' ya' just don't see anywhere else."

>Okay, I'm with the program now. Sorry, I'll have to turn you down. I, uh, I'm kind of brittle, actually. The repeated stabbings don't help.

"Well, ah' surely understand. This ain't for everyone, and Ah' do hope ya' will reconsider if you ever get a little... sturdier."

>Or desperate. Thanks anyway.

"Ya'll have a good day now!"

It's only after he's well out of earshot that she lets out an annoyed breath and stamps her hoof.

"Why do all mah applicants keep turnin' me down?"

'Maybe if you didn't make this place sound like a whorehouse, they'd stay!'

"Oh! Quiet you!"

'We farm CHERRIES! THE FOOD! Just cut to that right at the start! Why do you have to use so much puffery!?'

"Oh hush! You don't know!"

'...'

"...But yer' probably right."

'THANK YOU!'

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>Shining Armor
"Sombra"
'Crystal Guard'
[Motorized Spike]
{Others}
~~~~~
Atop the highest tower of the Crystal Palace

"The Princesses have sent for you another intelligence report, I hope you do not mind that I took the liberty to read over it."

>Nah, I trust you.

"That means a lot to me."

>So what's the letter say?

"Much of ill omen."

Shining Armor takes the letter and reads over it while Sombra speaks

"It seems that various scrapyards, recycling centers, and even factories and mines have been raided recently. Enormous shipments of basic metals and materials have vanished in transit to the heartlands of Equestria and the materials that go missing match many of the materials used in your sister's automaton plans."

>I'm not great with numbers as Twily but if I'm reading this right, they're either building something really big...

"Or plotting a mass invasion."

>I think the Pegasi are gonna be Equestria and the Empire's ace-in-the-hole here. Every report about these machines say nothing about aerial capability. We also need to further investigate all these businesses close to the Empire, we have to find out if these guys might be in a conspiracy together.

"Basic, but still impressive intuition. You've grown a lot."

In the distance, a whistling sound was heard, growing louder. As it reached its pitch, Shining Armor and Sombra turned in time to see an enormous rocket crash into the tower

Down below, reactions were instant, a particular Changeling who had been doing a perimeter sweep immediately swore under her breath and began racing back inside.

"Shining Armor?! Are you alright?"

Some rubble shifts and falls wayside revealing a barrier and an extremely annoyed Shining Armor within

>Okay, this had better not be another drunk pony...

[CELESTIA JUDGES! I ACT!]

Out from the smoke, bullets fly in a thick storm of lead

>Holy shi-

Shining Armor throws up another barrier which immediately begins to crack and finally shatter under the gun fire and is forced behind thick pieces of rubble

>Okay, not a drunk pony.

Peeking out, he spies a large, mechanical Spike with a gatling gun approaching his position.

'Prince Shining Armor!'

Several guards storm to the top of the stairs and see the same sight and freeze in confusion

>Get back!

[THERE IS NO HIDING FROM THE LIGHT OF THE SUN!]

As gatling gun's crank is spun up, the robot is knocked over by a telekinectically thrown rock

>In in this palace we use our indoor voices!

The machine rights itself and begins to spin both barrels and it's upper body, hosing the entire roof in gunfire and forcing all parties back

"Need this?"

Shining Armor notices Sombra throw something to him. A sword.

>Much obliged but I think one of Twily's guns would have been nicer

"Perhaps not, I observed a large and very exposed series of gears on the machine's back while everyone else was force to take cover."

>I'll need a distraction

"And I am not harmed by modern missiles."

Sombra flies out in 'sight' of the Motorized Spike, throwing several small rocks with dark magic

[FOR EQUESTRIA!]

One of Sombra's tendrils lashes out and attempts to stop it from operating the crank to provoke it further but to no avail

The machine still seizes up as a steel blade jams it's gears, taking no chances, Shining grabs a large rock and smashes the exposed machinery, toppling the robot.

'outstanding, Prince!'

'Your highness, that was incredible!'

>Hope you were watching, I don't think I'll be doing that again.

"Enough gawking, you imbeciles! Fetch a medic to tend to his wounds!"

>Wounds? I-

Looking down, he notices several places where bullets had grazed him and at least two direct hits to his torso

>Dammit, knew I should have listened to 42 about the armor thing...

The devil herself appeared as the Prince fell to his knees

Meanwhile...

{Did the target hit it's mark?}

{Quite a bit off. I think it hit the Crystal Palace instead of the suburbs.}

{Tarnations! I suppose this means aiming will be your job in the future}


{Now now, Gentlecolts. It's not a complete loss. We now know the range of our new delivery system, the effects of putting just a bit more quality care into our machines, sent the message the corrupted royalty is never safe, and as a bonus, the propaganda should sow a bit of distrust between Equestria and the Empire.}

{... Do you really think they'll fall for that?}

{... Can you at least let me pretend I'm a diabolical mastermind?}

{As soon as you stop wearing modified dominatrix gear and hold your guns properly!}

{The leather represents who I am! Now let's get back to trying to kidnap the dirt princess' family.}

{Brother, i'm starting to think we aren't being paid enough for this.}

{Compared to not being paid at all?}

{Point.}

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>AJ 29
"Rarity"
~~~~

The window to Rarity's room was daintily and slowly opened, and like a thief in the night the Changeling had entered into the room.

>AH HAH! You thought those guards would keep me away! Well, they didn't! In fact, they laughed and opened the door for me, and then laughed at me, and then insisted it wasn't a trick, laughed some more, and then I WAS ONTO THEM!

"..."

>But I've seen that the dragon is "playing the field" with princess styrofoam at the moment, so that leaves you all open to...

"...Hello?"

>...What happened to you!?

"Who are you again?"

>You just... did you eat a baby hippo or something!?

"I have slimmed down to HALF what I was last month, thank you!"

>How did thine backside not throw off the tides themselves!? All of us should be drowned by a flood brought upon our heads by the whales hoping to reclaim one of their own! What mysteries lie within' those rolls? Tis' a braver Changeling than I who would discover!

"...I appreciate the elegance, not so much the dialog."

>Okay, you know what? Nay! NAY I SAY UNTO YOU! I'm not fulfilling a single fantasy!

"...Fantasy? Like, say, a big, BIG princely stallion with flowing blonde hair, and muscles that go on forever?"

>Pfft, that's so easy!

In a whoosh of green fire, her described stallion now stood before her.

>You didn't even add the chain hanging around my neck to symbolize how locked in I was before I met you! Chains I break with my muscles, of course.

"OH! And you have a tight shirt for you to rip off in passion too!"

>Obviously!

"Where's your leather whip?"

>...Curses! I knew something had slipped my mind in all the disgust! How shameful of me!

"You know, I do suppose that maybe we could-"

>NAY! I say, NO FATTIES!

"WHAT!?"

>I SAY GOOD DAY!

With a contemptuous 'hmph!' he trots out past the still hysterically laughing guards. Ignoring the twitching rage Rarity has on her face as he leaves her behind.

"...Jerk."

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>SA
"Cadence"
'AJ 2'
[42]
{18}
-Chrysalis-
~~~~~~~~

>I'm fine, honey!

"YOU WERE SHOT!"

>With regular bullets! Not the stuff that tore Spike apart!

"NOT. BETTER!"

'S-Shiny...'

>Two, really. Fine. See? Fine enough to play Candyland, even.

'I... I just wanna stay here, kay? Can we play later?'

>Of course.

[You'd be more fine if you actually wore some damn armor! ARMOR! Your NAME is Shining Armor! YOU AREN'T MADE OF IT!]

>Seriously, the doctor said it barely made it past this skin, this stuff is cheap garbage.

{Don't you do this to me you little jerk! WHO'S GOING TO HELP ME WITH THE PAPERWORK!?}

>I'm FINE, 18. I'll still be here to actually do my job. Could you all stop crying, please? All of you.

[I'M NOT CRYING!]

{I am.}

"I'm your wife! I'M ALLOWED TO CRY WHEN YOU GET SHOT!"

*Sniffle*

"Also, Two."

-KaaaaaBOOM! Hah haaa! Look at you all jump-

[NOT. FUNNY!]

-Eeeesh! So negative!-

>Chrysalis.

-Hey Shiny, chest feelin' any better?-

>It's fine.

-HAH! Fine. Cause bullets are fine.-

{Majesty!}

-Hey, don't get all mad at me, Shiny's the dumb one here. I mean, really. A whole bunch of indestructible, very bulletproof Changelings, and you fight the gun wielding robot with a sword. Really? A sword. Not the laser spitting super-bug monsters. Sword! You know what's greater than a sword, though? Tanks! Tanks that we have. Er, TANK that we have. Singular.

>...

-Point is. We're good at this. So... no swords next time, got it?-

>...I've got it Chrysalis, thanks.

-Great to hear! Maybe you'll make it to your next birthday. Or not, whatever, I've got movies waiting for me. Have fun crying!-

With a trot, she leaves.

>...Wow.

{Yeah, really.}

"I don't think I've ever see her that upset."

[It's a little frightening, isn't it?]

'Caddy, is not-mom gonna kill someone?'

"...We'll have to wait and see, honey. We'll have to wait and see."

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>Rarity
"AJ56"
'Rainbow Dash'
~~~~~
56 hears sobbing and walks in to see Dash trying to pull away a giant spoon of ice cream.

'No, Rarity! Don't do it! Your diet and arteries have so much to life for!'

>What's the point of even trying? Everyone is right! I'm a blimp now! I'll always be a lead zeppelin! Even you laugh at me!

'Okay, so maybe I do sometimes, but I'm a cunt! An asshole! We've established that my opinion means jackshit!'

>Enough false assurances. I shall become a new mountain on Canterlot and let castle build over my inert corpse! WAH!

'What's wrong?!'

>Something's molesting my butt!

"Mmmmm! and a glorious butt it is!"

'Oh, Hey, I think I know this guy, he likes asses.'

>Thank you, Captain Obvious

"It's a mighty plot, princess! Some might say it's size is unseemly, but it's still nice, and soft, warm, and full of potential!"

During this time Dash discretely keeps trying to take away the heavy tank of ice cream

>It's full of something alright.

"I think it's beautiful, and I can see there's still a lot more beauty to come. I can feel those tight and perky ass muscles."

She gives up and tries to pull the spoon out of Rarity's magical grip. And fails.

>From day's long gone. You should have seen me in my youth.

'News flash Rarity: princess or not, you're still in your twenties. I'M the one getting gray hairs out of all of us!'

"And your plot is still quite lovely too, Miss Dash. Just... Let me have a moment with this old-world beauty."

>... Do you think it would lose anything by being smaller?

Dash brings in the rest of the Wonderbolts to and hooks them all up to remove the ice cream. And still fails.

"Well sure! But I am a lover of all types of plots! Muscled and strong, chubby and big, and all in between. Just not hard, boney butts."

>Thank you, 56. Dash, come, we have a lot of work to do!

Dash is out of breath with the groaning Wonderbolts on the ground, a few grabbing their backs.

'We need a minute.'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ56
"Diamond Tiara"
'Silver Spoon'

"I don't understand your obsession with plots. They're not special or anything. You're like one of those rap colts. Who understands them?"

>Well you see...
AJ56 puts on Shades.
>...I like big plots and I can not lie!
>You other brothers can't deny
>That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
>And a round thing in your face
>You get sprung-

"NO NO STOP! That song is overused and too obvious! No one wants to hear it!"

'...I wanted to hear the rest of it.'

"Shut up Silver Spoon."

'Okay'

"I'm out! That's it! I'm out. This day is ruined. Tell me when you have something more original."
She walks out of the classroom.

>....wanna pull out your tough
>'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed-

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Celestia"
'Twilight'
~~~~~~~

>She okay?

"What do you think?"

'EEEEEHEHHEEEENNMNMMNMRRRMRRMRE'

>What is that even supposed ta' mean?

"It started out as "Shiny" and somehow devolved in to a baby-like babble of incoherency."

'EMHUH! EMHEMUNUUUMUH!'

"She's telling him she's going to make him super-armor now."

'BAH! ENUBAH! AHABALAAHAHHHHHH!'

"She's saying she was scared."

>...He gonna be okay?

"He's fine."

>He's gonna turn blue.

"Applejack, he'll never say it out loud and possibly hurt her feelings, but at this point he's probably wishing for the sweet release of death."

>So Ah' should wait ta' ask him what happened?

'UMHAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!'

"Probably a smart idea."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cheerilee
'Robot'
'AJ 56'
~~~~~~~

>...This is either a very odd hallucination, or the most insulting thing I have ever seen.

"BZZZT! Hell-O Cher-ry! It is I, FILTHYMUDJACK, I am here to take APPLE home from SCHOOL."

>School's been out for hours now.

"ERROR! CLOCK RESET HAS CAUSED ERROR! Hey, Cher-ry! Would you like to engaging in FILTHY MUD PONY ACTS?"

>Is that... who programmed you?

"COME! Cher-ry! I will do strange things while I set up the CAMERA for PERSONAL USE"

>...Aut animo non possit, necesse est mori.

In seconds, they descent upon it, ripping, shredding, devouring the soulless thing. In no time at all, only a few stray bolts remain.

'OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED APPLEJACK!'

>...56, you were supposed to go home hours ago.

'I wanted to star at your plot some more.'

>...I understand.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"Shining Armor"
~~~~~
"Hey, Spike. I don't think i'll be making this week's game."

>Admit it, you don't want to be cause you know Chrysalis, 18, or Cadence are gonna have sex with you-

"My character! They have sex with my character! And I'm pretty sure Cadence hasn't done it with me, she transferred it to 42's character."

>Well, either way. ... You can drop the act now, no one's around?

"You sure?"

>Yeah.

"SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! THIS HURTS!"

>I know, man. I got a bar of iron if you need something to bite down on.

Spike reveals an extremely chewed up iron ingot

>I might have used it myseld a bit during my own stay.

"When does the hurting stop?"

>Right around the time they start using painkillers. I think.

"You think?"

>Dragons can't be poisoned, unfortunately it seems it also means we don't benefit from painkillers, magical or chemical.

"That sucks."

>Yeah. but it won't for you, gimme a sec.

Spike fiddles with the morphine drip bag.


"Ooooooh... that's the stuff."

>So, while you're still sober, I just wanna say 'get well soon', brother. I was fine being shot myself, but between Applebloom and now you, these assholes have crossed the line, gone clear to the horizon beyond it, and straight into space.

"I don' care if yer black, Spike! Yer shtill mah besgtest friend. Less'no lose touch after college!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NOTE: FOLLOWING STORY IS SEMI-GRAPHIC

ALSO NON CANON BY THREAD CONSENSUS

"Spike"
>"AJ"
'Twilight'
*Shining Armour*

---

'Now I still recommend plenty of rest, alright Spike?'

"Yeah, I heard ya."

'Really, Spike!'

"O.K! Sheesh."

*Think how I feel.*

"I'll take it easy, alright? I'll only do paperwork until 10pm."

'Spike!!'

"Fiiiiiine. 3pm."

'Better. Now, Shiny, about the bullet wounds...'

---
1:48pm -- Princess AppleJacks Quarters
---

"I need to get this work done already, I'm feeling tired."

>"Hey there, loverboy."

"Oh, hey AJ--"

AJ stands seductively in lingerie at the door to their bedroom. She gives him a wink and saunters off inside, swaying her hips.

"...Not feeling tired anymore."

He follows in her wake.

---
~Later~
---

'Oh Spiiiiiiiike~ It's 3pm! You'd better not be working, and resting uuuuuup~ I brought a healthy chicken soup! It's a recipe from Fluttershy an--'

Twilight walks into the bedroom of AppleJack's quarters, stopping, and dropping the bowl of soup immediately upon catching Spike and AppleJack in a most... sensual position.

She turns beet red, 180's, and nopes the fuck outta there.

"..."

>"..."

"...That wasn't expected."

>"Ah don't think nobody's heard o' knockin'"

"...I'm still in the mood."

>"So ah'm ah, Loverboy. Keep thrustin' yerself at that pace. Thaaaaat's it~"

Elsewhere, Twilight is divulging this new information to everyone. Soon, the whole castle knows.

---

And of course, Shining simply smiled upon hearing the news.

*YES! SPIKE IS A MAN!*

Off in the distance, Rarity clings at her chest in pain. Regretting for some reason, feeling that she may have lost something she would never be able to receive.

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