Hard Times

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'Have you been messing with the script, Anon...?'

---

	DAY 1

---

I could hear the door opening with clarity, to then close. A few steps followed, till they stopped just for her to gasp.

"Anon?!"

Sayori. Her surprise gave me joy, but at the same time dread; did she really imagine it that unlikely for me to wait for her to leave her house like the old days, rather than to leave on my own for her to catch up? I'd have believed her reaction to just be a pleasant surprise, but after that day when I found she hanged herself, I couldn't see her in the same way again.

"W-what-- How long have you been here for?!"

"You overslept again." I said.

But soon enough her face of shock died down, replaced instead with a cheerful smile; an honest one, if I could gauge it well enough.

"How long has it been since you waited for me?" She asked in full glee. "It's like we're back to those days! My Anon is back!"

I feigned irritation as best as I could, but I couldn't stop a smile from forming. She thinks I changed out of the blue, not because I saw everyone ending up... in awful situations.

Contrast. Despite her cheerful smile, I still remember what expression her lifeless body had. Her bloodied fingers, and ruined collar. How things can change someone, once annoyed at Sayori for cheerful and now seeing her smile. A smile I know will disappear in due time, if things play out the same. However, I've already altered the story, if only by waiting for her instead of leaving on my own. The script has adapted exceptionally well, too, and I'd need everything I can get to help Sayori and the others.

"But, you don't need to wait for me, you know? I can't let you be late just because of me--"

"Dummy." I ranted, just to drop my hand on her head and ruffle her hair; her eyes shot wide open in surprise, only for her to close them with an ever greater smile and a giggle.

I need to keep a close eye on her depression. Neglect only made her hang herself, but I don't know where accurate assessment ends and where my own guilt messing with my head starts; for all I know she'd have hanged herself no matter what I did, with how Monika messed with her head through code. I can only hope that the script I've created for her does its job; I can't remove Monika's alterations, and the script alone won't do a thing on its own, so it all rests on me to do the heavy lifting.

---

Clubs. Getting dragged to the literature club didn't feel like getting my throat yanked with a chain like the first time, if only because now it was my choice. At least, it was in my mind, perhaps not Sayori's. Not completely, at least. And thus, today marks the day I sold my soul for the... I don't even keep count anymore.

"Everyone!" She cheered, opening the door to march in. I could do nothing but follow, much like all other times. "The new member is here~!"

There I found them again. The others. I caught Yuri's eyes first, having almost memorized where she'd be this time. First she seemed surprised, and I wouldn't blame her with Sayori's sudden entry, but still her shyness helped in that before she grew a smile.

"Welcome to the Literature Club." She greeted. "It's a pleasure meeting you. Sayori always says nice things about you."

"Seriously? You brought a boy?" I heard Natuski saying. God knows I had to stop myself from reciting that sentence with my mouth, knowing it word for word by now. "Way to kill the atmosphere."

"Ah, Anon! What a nice surprise!"

That voice. It still gave me chills, not only knowing what she was capable of, but at times not even knowing how much she truly knew and kept hidden. Monika.

"Welcome to the club!" She finished.

It all seemed to play exactly the same as the original script. I couldn't spot any changes other than what I did. Almost unconsciously I still followed with the original script, seeing it all the same and acting it through, till Natsuki left to get the cupcakes and Yuri the tea.

The tables had been arranged, that I remember, and I remembered one more detail too: Two spaces were available, one next to Sayori, and one next to Monika. The script, inevitably, gave me no option.

But now, I could change it. I knew what Monika did, and regardless of agreeing or not, I understood that she was in a position I pray never to find myself in. At its core, her curse was the script not allowing her too much interaction with me, leading from one thing to another and ending with... bad things. Perhaps I can make her happy, and ultimately delay what happened originally if not outright stop it. Choice seemed obvious, and so I headed over and sat next to her. A quick glance, and I found her showing subtle surprise; controlling herself for sure, blinking rapidly with wide open eyes for a second before regaining her composure. Had I not been looking for a reaction, I'd have not spotted it.

And like before, Natsuki arrived and unveiled her cupcakes. Sayori and Monika stared in amazement, and though the familiarity of the situation almost made me just stare blankly, almost bored, I fought off the urge. In fact, I don't think I even needed to fight back; seeing Natsuki's proud smile just caused the same in my heart that Sayori's smile did. Same as before, we all took one; same as before, she snuck glances at me, waiting for me to taste. Indulging her, I took a bite.

"...This is really good." I said. "Thank you, Natsuki."

Flustered, I could already predict her reaction. A tsundere, as much as I've heard the term so often it turned almost insulting.

Natsuki.

I don't recall her dying. She never did, rather, but instead was deleted. No closure for her, with her last memory being that of Yuri's decomposing body. How dreadful it must've been to her, to arrive to the club she imagined herself building great memories in, only for... that. Had parental issues. Malnourishment, too.

And then, Yuri returned with tea, placing a cup for each of us.

"You keep a whole tea set in this classroom?" I said. No reason not to follow through the script.

"Don't worry, the teachers gave us permission." She answered, shyness almost gone. "After all, doesn't a hot cup of tea help you enjoy a good book?"

Yuri.

Had a cutting problem. Turned obsessive in her last days, intensity like Sayori's depression. Stabbed herself thrice, probably not to kill herself but to vent, just to end up the same way. The script had broken enough to force me to watch for three entire days. The blood drying, the light in her eyes fading, unable to even look away. I saw the slight smile she had disappear in the third day. I don't know what went through her, nor do I want to know; was she still alive? There were times she realized she was changing for the worse, and I can't help but wonder, what if she realized after stabbing herself, knowing she was going to die? Dying in front of me, too. In front of someone she cared about.

Dreadful thoughts that have kept me awake for many nights, yet so many days and attempts passed that I could still very well follow the original script despite them.

It still felt strange. Some mixture of nostalgia and terror, living again memories and knowing how they'll end. It's not even just remembering them, but living them in the moment. The old days in act 1, before it all turned into whatever mess of a reality act 2 was. Sayori's presence alone felt relieving, since she only existed in that very first act, and here she was.

"I have an idea, everyone~" Said Monika, much to Natsuki's and Yuri's wonder. "Let's all go home and write a poem of our own! Then, next time we meet, we'll all share them with each other. That way, everyone is even!"

Yuri and Natsuki kept silent.

And Sayori jumped up with her eternal energy, "Yeaaah! Let's do it!"

And that's how we finish the day. The suggestion of poems. Feigning defensiveness and confusion as I follow the script till the end, I can only wonder if Sayori's poem will be any different tomorrow. I'm sure it will; if not for what I altered, then perhaps for what I did earlier. Not only that, but the idea of writing a poem with subtle hints of what I knew for Monika felt almost too tempting. I don't think I'll be able to stop myself, but I could try to save it for the festival, if things go right.

But through all joy and happiness the first day may have, I can not let it get to me. I have to remember that it was the same the first time, and all it led to was Sayori hanging herself, Yuri stabbing herself, Natsuki seeing her friend dead before being deleted, and Monika deleting the club entirely for all the suffering it brought to us all. The best ending back then was the deletion of us all, and I may go through endless senseless suffering for the mere chance to see us all through, or just the illusion of said chance.

The hard times have only just begun.

---

	DAY 2

---

Though I'm waiting and waiting, Sayori isn't coming out. It's not her oversleeping, it's way too late for even that. Had I waited for her the second day in the original script, I'd have something to compare this to, but still it struck me as strange. Something about Sayori striking me as strange, however, was a dead giveaway that something was terribly wrong; I had to learn that the hard way the first time. Thankfully, I could just walk into her house like it was mine, and thus I did, just to find no noises within and no indications that she was up and awake, let alone preparing for school.

Heart in my throat. For a second, I felt like puking. God, the memories came back so suddenly, realizing I was in the same mindset as back then. 'Something wrong, have to check, don't know what', and then, Sayori was gone. Hastening my pace, I made my way up. "Sayori?" I called, just to receive no response.

I hate this. The feeling of not knowing. Being kept in suspense, like someone or something keeping you dumb just to hit you with a revelation at the worst moment. I made my way to the stairs and marched up, to then reach Sayori's room and turn the handle.

My first instinct was to look at the ceiling. No rope hanging from there eased my heart a great share, and when I lowered my sight, I saw her lying on her bed. Eyes open, however, giving away that oversleeping wasn't her issue.

"Anon...?"

"Sayori."

After closing the door, I slowly walked up to her. She didn't even bother trying to sit up.

"I'm not feeling too well." She said. Her tone of voice, I couldn't describe it well enough, a mixture of stress and pain. The kind I heard of her in the last days, unfortunately enough. "Something I ate must've gotten me sick... I don't think I can go to school today."

I might've believed it the first time, but I know well that in the original timeline she didn't fall sick in the second day. Never, in fact. I knew too well what was happening here, which only made it worse. The script had changed through no action of mine. She had left school earlier that one time due to the depression Monika amplified, but now, to skip school entirely on the second day felt jarring.

And I'm not going to be the naive fool I was to abandon her. Rather, I calmly stepped forward and sat by her side on the bed.

"Anon, you're going to be late for school."

"Sayori, are you feeling well?"

She paused for a second.

"No. I'm... I'm sick, remember?"

"I'm staying with you till you recover, then."

"What? Anon, come on, are you really going to skip school? What about the others? What about the club?"

"They'll be fine."

"I'll be fine too."

"Sayori, I know you're not sick." I said. With that, she said nothing, and just aimlessly stared in a random direction. "I've known you for a very long time. I've seen you getting sick too many times, and you've never been like this. I may not be able to read minds to know what's wrong, but know that I'm always here. I've been with you ever since we first met, and I won't abandon you when you're like this, because you haven't abandoned me when I've gone through any hardship."

After a second, I saw her eyes moving to then lock with mine. First, she smiled, to then giggle and raise her arm to cover her face, just for her smile to turn jarring, as if gritting her teeth in pain instead. Almost as if on the verge of crying.

"Why?" She asked. "If I just told myself to suck it up and dragged myself out of bed, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe you wouldn't have worried about me and walked here. Stupid mistake of mine, to care about myself so much that I ended up lazying off in bed... Barely a day ago you started showing up to wait for me, and now this happens. The world wants to torture me."

"Sayori..."

I saw her then moving away her arm to rub her eyes, before replacing her expression with an empty smile.

"You really put me in a trap, Anon."

I can't help you if I have to keep pretending not to know, Sayori. Please, say it...

"But..." She continued. "You're wrong. You said I've never been like this but, truth is, I've always been like this. You're just seeing it for the first time."

Can't say a thing. Despite all I've gone through, I still don't know how to deal with these situations. Still, saying nothing still beats saying the wrong thing, and I know how saying the wrong things can mess things up. The least I can do is listen. After looking at each other's eyes for a while, she returned her gaze to the ceiling.

"I've had really bad depression my whole life."

Gut-wrenching to hear even now. The joy of hearing her say it so that I no longer have to pretend to not notice is overshadowed entirely by the reminder of what she had gone through.

"It's why I'm late to school every day. It's because most days, I can't find a reason to get out of bed. Why go to school? Why eat? Why make friends? Why make other people put their energy and caring to waste by having them spend it on me? That's what it feels like. And that's why I just want to make everyone happy... Without anyone worrying about me."

The first time, I was in shock. Now, I still am in shock. I suppose that the moment I get used to this tragedy, is the moment these loops have taken away my humanity. Yet, unlike the first time, I remained silent, just lowering my head. I may have done things wrong, that one time. I recall almost lashing out at her, saying precisely what she feared I'd say. I've had the luxury of multiple loops to think about it, but it still weighs heavily what I did.

Doesn't help that it's only the second day. Much as I'm worried about Sayori, I'm also worried about what sped things up this much. I can make some theories later, since now my focus has to be elsewhere.

"Sayori... How would you react if I still wanted to stay here?"

"And skip school?!" She asked, sitting up with a heartbroken expression. God, it hurt my heart to look at. "No!"

"You want me to stop caring about you?"

She sniffed, the then look downwards.

"I just... I just want you to not worry about me. That's all. Don't force yourself to do something just because you'd feel bad about me otherwise..."

"Alright. I understand." I said, standing up. Then, I made my way to the door; Sayori did nothing, I don't think she even glanced at me. "You moved the beanbag chair to the living room, right? If I'm staying here, I better make myself comfortable."

"What?" I heard her heartbroken voice asking, hearing the bed creaking while she stood up. Steps followed, drawing closer to me. "Anon, I'm begging you, just--"

In proximity enough, I turned around and embraced her with all my might. It silenced her completely, petrifying her. After a few seconds, I heard her sniff, to then find her arms wrapping around me as tightly as they could.

"You told me not to force myself to do something if I'd feel bad otherwise. I'd feel bad if I had to ignore everything you say. I'd feel bad if I had to see you pleading for me not to worry. I'd feel bad if you told me not to worry over and over again, despite knowing what you're going through. So I'll listen to you, and not force myself to leave. I want to stay here, and I don't care about anything else."

"Anon... You're killing me... But, some part of me wanted to hear that."

The part of you that isn't affected, Sayori. The part that Monika didn't alter. The Sayori I knew, still in there somewhere fighting, the one that wrote 'get out of my head' so many times in that poem.

---

A couple hours later, she had already fallen fast asleep. Can't say I didn't expect it, noticing how sleepy she was. From what she told me, her mind's been messing with her last night, not letting her sleep one bit. From that alone, I could figure out it was her depression amplified like in her last days, but now conflicting with the script I made for her. I don't want to imagine how much she must've suffered last night, but at least she's fine now; well, fine isn't the word, but at least she's alive. Here from the beanbag chair I set up next to her bed I could see her, at peace for once in her sleep, resting what she couldn't earlier.

But it's only me that knows of this. Yuri and Natsuki don't, perhaps for the best, and here I was messing with my phone after Sayori fell asleep, exhanging text after text with them over why we skipped school. For them, she was just sick. At least Natsuki and Yuri haven't asked why I knew their number without them even giving it to them; they must've assumed Sayori gave them to me, even though after so many loops I've almost memorized them. If I want to save them, I need to keep in contact from as early as possible.

What I can't understand, however, is why it all quickened so much. Was it what I did in the first day? The script could've taken what I did in the first day the first time as standard, and assumed what I did as a display of affection, something like the beginning of a route. Only now do I recall that Monika knew of our exchange the first loop in the weekend before the festival.

Should I have not waited for her? I don't know. Maybe I've made a mistake, but I can't just wait till everyone dies again to restart. That's when I'll get used to everyone dying, and that's when I'll lose my humanity.

But for all that plagued my mind, I still didn't know how I could save Natsuki and Yuri. I don't even know if I'll have enough time, with things going bad this fast. I never got past the festival, either; was it the hard limit of the script? Probably.

...

Monika...

How am I going to get through to you? You may still be the one behind this all, but you're still being messed with by the script. Seemed hopeless, and without myself knowing I was already giving a silent sigh.

She'll know. The walls have eyes. She knew of our exchange before Sayori hanged herself, she probably knew about the first day in this loop causing her depression to amplify, and she'll no doubt know what I'm doing this day this very moment. She yearned to spend time with me, and here I am skipping school altogether. Still, I have no regrets. I am cornered, in terms of choices; to do nothing will invite everyone's death, and trying to take control the situation will result in something like this. I knew what I was getting myself into.

But at least, Sayori gave me hope. Peaceful sleep, alive, seeing her trying to pull through.

Never give up, Sayori.

That's the script. Just 'never give up', clinging to her mind, but that's all there is to it. It won't magically snap her out of depression, and it won't cancel Monika's meddling. In fact, it'll make it worse, having those scripts tearing her mind in half as they clash against each other, but that's why I'm here. It's up to me to give those three words meaning.

But I may be running out of time already. My hands are already full with Sayori, and I've yet to even start with Monika, Yuri, and Natsuki.

---

	DAY 2

---

Our march to school turned silent. Can't blame her, really. Whatever glance I snuck to her, I found her looking down expressionless, without a word to say. Completely unlike her from days ago, or at least what show she put on; despite her current state, she already had depression since time ago, it only was amplified now. She must've recovered, though, if it was her own choice to go to school with me.

"Is there something on your mind?" I asked, curious.

"No, nothing really." She answered, though after a pause she took a deep breath. "It's all... empty."

Couldn't bring myself to add anything, if I even knew what to add. So, I kept silent. Our steps on the asphalt turned into a strange semblance of ambient noise, without even the breeze to run by us.

"Say... What keeps you going?" I heard her ask. "If someone asks you why you should exist, what would you answer?"

I see. The script is doing its job, hopefully. Still, Lord almighty was I not ready for these questions.

"I..." I said, yet with what a mess my thoughts were, I had to pause. I didn't even know what to say, yet. "I don't know. I suppose I have no reasons, really. I'd say for my friends, for everyone, but people come and go. If I got to know the others in club I'd say I'll go on for them, but before that I didn't have that reason, and still I went on. Same goes for everyone I know. I don't think the act of going on needs a reason."

She didn't answer. Maybe she got the answer she wanted, maybe she got something she didn't want to hear. Much as I've been through these loops so many times, I still can't know for sure.

"Do you feel alright enough to go to school, Sayori?"

Popping an empty smile, she nodded. In that empty smile, however, I swear I could notice a tiny sliver of honesty.

"I don't want to miss another day. I want to go with you, Anon."

"Are you saying that just to get me not to skip another day?"

"Even if you skipped, I'll go." She answered. Then, she gave a little chuckle. "But not before trying to drag you with me first."

The last line took me by surprise. I thought she'd be relatively cold, and here she was making me smile like a retard. Getting some payback, I dropped my hand on her head and ruffled her hair like yesterday, laughing with her.

---

"Hi again, Anon!" Greeted me Monika, just as Sayori and I walked into the club room. There they were, Natsuki and Yuri too, as normal as I remember them this early in the week. "Glad to see you didn't run away on us after that sudden break. Hahaha... I'm glad that Sayori got better. I was already missing her. I was missing you, too."

"Don't worry." I reassured her. "This might be a little strange for me, but I at least keep my word."

I couldn't gauge anything about her. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn't, but nothing I could tell from her words or demeanor. Still, I found Monika shifting glance to Sayori, who turned to see Monika in return. An eternal smile from Monika, and yet Sayori remained almost expressionless. I still couldn't get over it, how jarring it felt to see Sayori not being the happiest one around.

"Are you feeling better, Sayori?" Asked Monika.

"Kind of..." Answered Sayori, almost in a sigh. "A-Ahahah, that sickness punched the wind out of me, didn't it?"

"Ah, but you're here with us nonetheless, no?"

"I guess I am. I won't give up!"

"That's the spirit, Sayori!" She smiled, giving a thumbs-up. "Just hang in there!"

Eye twitched. Almost snorted in indignation. I can't even tell if it was intentional or not. Took inhuman strength to not snap. Yet, at that moment Natsuki arrived to talk with Sayori. The sight was distraction enough to make me not notice Yuri arriving too, but facing me instead.

"Thanks for keeping your promise, Anon." She said. "I hope this isn't too overwhelming of a commitment for you. Making you dive headfirst into literature when you're not accustomed to it..."

"Oh, come on! Like he deserves any slack." Said Natsuki, turning her head around upon hearing it.

Script's back to normal, I see.

From then on, I saw nothing out of the ordinary, other than the obvious lack of energy Sayori understandably had. Chit-chat, Natsuki and Yuri at odds with each other, and Sayori talking with Monika about the festival. The last part gained my full attention, to see Sayori still with a tired look and voice speaking with Monika, yet still keeping close to the original script somehow. It felt... uncanny. Despite having expected things to go differently, it still turned out somewhat the same; I could almost feel a shiver down my spine for the entire duration, unable to keep a thought out of my head: Has she put up an act to hide her depression for so long, that she turned extremely experienced at it?

I recall long ago, in the first loop. Talking with Sayori, with her telling me of reciting poems in the festival. She recited one of hers in front of me, and though I couldn't take it seriously over how much her voice changed from her usual self, perhaps that voice was closer to her true self than what I was used to hear.

In due time, their conversation ended. Monika stepped away, and Sayori sat next to me once again, though heavily dropping on her chair as if exhausted. Maybe not physically, but exhausted she must've been. Though as much as I wanted to ask something like 'Feeling better?', there wasn't much I could say that wasn't just spouting words for the sake of spouting words. Rather, I kept silent, giving a smile once her eyes met mine. In return, the edges of her mouth moved just a slight bit; truthful or not, at best she turned faintly happy in that moment, or at worst she still put in the effort nonetheless.

"Say, Anon..."

"Hm?"

"Thank you, for... for helping me dress up today." She said, whispering just enough for the others not to hear. "I just realized that I might've ended up looking like a mess, if I had to do it myself. Well, not a mess, but... Ahahah, it's not like I'd be eager to fix my outfit if I messed up somewhere."

I remember. Back in the original loop, finding her looking like a mess. Hair sticking out the sides, bow not even straight, toothpaste stain on her collar... At least, that's just a memory, and the Sayori in front of me doesn't have them right now.

"We have to help each other in any way we can, don't we?" I answered. I must be growing paranoid; I didn't want to tell her to call me whenever she needed help, fearing she'd only take it as me deciding to take up the burden she'd figure is hers to bear. At least, even if what I said might not work too well, it wouldn't be too big of an error. Still, her faint, empty smile disappeared after a few seconds, returning to her expressionless look staring aimlessly ahead.

"Okay, everyone!"

Monika's catchphrase, at this point. I knew exactly what she'd say. Her next phrase would be 'Why don't we share the poems we wrote now?'.

"Why don't we share the poems we wrote now?"

Though I wanted to ask Sayori if she had hers, I instead saw her reaching for her bag and rummaging for it. Following suit, I went ahead and reached for mine. Almost by instinct I extended mine to Sayori, to find her extending hers to me at the exact same time. For a second we kept still, staring at the funny coincidence before letting out a quick chuckle and exchanging. Curious, I began reading, wondering if it'd be the same as before or different.

'Rain', the title read. From this alone, I knew it to be different. I really wouldn't imagine her writing something like her first poem in this state, anyways.

At that moment, I realized. Sayori gave me her poem without any words. No embarrassment, no awkwardness, no fear, nothing. Uncharacteristic, though so was everything about her that I saw after knowign of her depression the first time. I can't imagine her not having at least the slightest bit of fear over what I'd think, so perhaps she's just fighting against the terror and gave me her poem despite it, like a child ripping off the bandaid despite how much it'd hurt. Or maybe I'm thinking too much into it.

Let's see, now...

	I looked out the window, and saw a man running.
	It was a sunny day, and he didn't stop running.
	I don't know where he went, or if he went anywhere at all,
	but still I saw him running, and he never stopped.

	I looked out the window, and saw a man running.
	It was a cloudy day, and he didn't stop.
	Exercising, I'm imagining,
	Breaking a sweat, yet never to drop.

	'Why are you running?', I had to ask,
	as I followed with my eyes,
	'I just like running', he said with a smile.
	And soon I saw him depart.

	I looked out the window, and saw a man running.
	It was raining awfully, and he didn't look for shelter.
	'Why are you running?' I asked, 'It's like the sky is falling.'
	'I just like running,' he said, 'shame about the weather.'

	'You'll only catch a cold', I had to help him realize,
	'do you really want to run that much?'
	'I told myself I'd run every day,' he said with a smile,
	'and no rain will make me give up.'

It's... strange. Well, I shouldn't be surprised about it. I wasn't getting a poem from the Sayori I used to know so long ago, anyways. The most striking part, at least to me, seemed how well made it was compared to the first one I'd have gotten in the original script. Can't say anything about skill, I'm no poet, but it certainly didn't look like Sayori waited till the last moment to write it, ending it with wanting breakfast. Long, thorough, even rhyming. I can tell great effort went to this.

What's in your mind, Sayori? Using this for catharsis? If it works, it works. I'm sure the others will like it. Just thinking about the possibility of Natsuki and Yuri being surprised to see something like this makes a smile grow on my face.

When I turn my eyes to Sayori, I saw her sneaking a glance at me before immediately retreating her eyes back to my poem. Now that's something I knew the old Sayori would do.

"It's very nice." I said, extending her poem back to her. "Show it to Natsuki and Yuri, I'm sure they'll like it very much too."

"You... You think?" She asked, almost shyly taking back her poem. At the same time, she returned mine.

"Show it to them and find out. You know them better than I do, no?"

"Huh... Maybe, maybe I should."

I didn't see a smile from her, but standing up on her own to march to the others gave me enough certainty that she found her motivation. Fleeting and temporary, perhaps, but every little thing helps.

"Hi, Anon." Said Monika.

I could never get used to her. Those emerald eyes, that eternal smile, it all just made me question what was going in her mind. Knowing all she did, I probably wasn't wrong in being so insanely curious. As much as one side of me wanted to approach her, to help her, another part of me was stuck in a perpetual cycle of shivers down my spine with how terrifying her presence was sometimes. To know that she could delete the entire world with as much ease as just snapping her fingers gave her a dreadful aura, but that she didn't do that till the very end gave me hope. Hope, that deep down she was still looking for a way to do things with as little suffering as possible, as much as her definition of suffering or who it can apply to may differ.

"Having a good time so far? I thought Sayori stil recovering would make things a little too... dull, with how she's the life of the club most of the time, but even like that she keeps us from that fate."

"Even like that, the poor thing tries." I said. Unsure whether Monika knew that I knew, I decided to play it safe and pretend to be none the wiser about her. From here I glanced at Sayori, now sharing her poem with Yuri and waiting expectantly as she read, with Yuri's eyebrow rising in surprise. Called it.

"Yes. Maybe with you here too, it'll be even more lively. One thing is having Sayori here, but another is having Sayori and her friend too. Who knows, maybe by the end of it you'll be just as much of a friend to Natsuki and Yuri, and to me. We can all spend some time together, here. Anyway, do you want to read my poem now?" When I turned my eyes back to her, I found her with her poem extended, blushing slightly. "Don't worry, I'm not very good..."

"You sound pretty confident for someone who claims to not be very good."

"Well...that's 'cause I have to sound confident. That doesn't mean I always feel that way, you know?"

"I see... Well, let's read it, then." I answered, to take her poem with one hand and hand her mine with the other.

'Special', the title read.

From the title alone I could tell it was different. Why, I don't know the specific reason. Something I did for sure, but that's all I know.

	Perhaps it's for the best, perhaps it's for the worst
	That the ones who look at others, do so from their home
	From the lowest depths, the tallest tower shines
	And from the highest heights, the pitch black abyss shows

	From the top, nothing to climb towards
	And from the bottom, nothing lower there may be
	But as with all things in life
	Things are only as special as you let them be

Huh?

The motif broke, or am I understanding this wrong? I can't really picture this being about her state as a visual novel character relating to a real person in the outside world.

"It's...--"

"Hmph!" I heard Natsuki, grabbing my attention. So too did it grab Monika's and Sayori's, with us all turning to look on. There we found Natsuki and Yuri talking as if they were at odds already. "If I was looking for suggestions, I would have asked someone who actually liked it. Which people did, by the way. Sayori liked it, Monika liked it, and I'm sure Anon will not be any different. So based on that, I'll gladly give you some suggestions of my own. First of all--"

"Excuse me..." Said Yuri. "I appreciate the offer, but I've spent a long time establishing my writing style. I don't expect it to change anytime soon, unless of course I come across something particularly inspiring. Which I haven't yet."

Ah, yes. The arguing of the second day. Almost forgot about it for some reason.

...

Wait, wasn't the second day the one Sayori and I skipped?

"Nn...!" Ranted Natsuki, indignant.

"And Anon will like my poem just as much, you can be sure of that. I aim to impress him, if I'm able to."

"Oh?" Asked Natsuki, growing a devious, smug smile. "I didn't realize you were so invested in trying to impress our new member, Yuri."

Did it revert, because I wasn't in school? The script must've not advanced due to that. Still the argument went on as I imagined it. Even the line that flustered Yuri the most.

"I wasn't the one whose boobs magically grew a size bigger as soon as Anon started showing up!!"

"N-Natsuki!!"

"Um," at that moment, I saw Monika stepping off with a worried look in her eyes, marching towards them, "Natsuki, that's a little--"

"This doesn't involve you!" Shouted back both Natsuki and Yuri at the same time.

I recalled the argument, but so too I recall Sayori intervening. This time, however, I only saw her staring blankly, eyes wide open in disbelief; her state must've sapped her of all initiative, leaving her almost catatonic at this. So too do I recall Natsuki and Yuri arguing only after I read their poems, yet here we were. Part of me was at peace, knowing well that this argument would lead nowhere at its end, just a simple trade of words they'll make up for eventually; but so too part of me felt unnerved at the script's differences, fearing that another alteration could happen at any--

"Look who's talking, you wannabe edgy bitch!"

My eyes shot wide open at that instant, feeling my heart skip a beat. A quick glance, and I saw Monika so too shooting her eyes open, and so too did Sayori. My skin immediately felt like it was burning over the sudden stress over what that very sentence meant.

No.

"Edgy...?" Replied Yuri. "Sorry that my lifestyle is too much for someone of your mental age to comprehend!"

Is it really happening? The words they keep exchanging, they remind me of something else. Not the first timeline. The second.

"Whoa, be careful or you might cut yourself on that edge, Yuri. Oh, my bad... You already do, don't you?"

"D-Did you just accuse me of cutting myself?? What the fuck is wrong with your head?!"

"Yeah, go on! Let Anon hear everything you really think! I'm sure he'll be head over heels for you after this!"

"Anon." I heard Monika's whisper, just as she gently tapped my shoulder. It served enough to snap me out of my catatonic state, to turn my head to her and see her with an aghast look whenever she glanced at the two arguing. An act? Truthful? The script sure as hell wasn't supposed to go this quick, and Monika was anything but an expert on altering it. "We should go."

Couldn't help but agree. As Monika walked away, I stood up and followed, still throwing glances at the two who grew more and more violent by the second. Monika then stopped by Sayori, whispering to her and tapping her shoulder in the same manner as I; Sayori then looked at me, and in a reassuring gesture I nodded, at which point she gave one last glance at Yuri and Natsuki before following us out the room.

"S...Sorry about that..." Said Monika to us both.

Her voice seemed more... apologetic than that time in Act 2. It turned hard to tell what floated in her mind, still paranoid over it being an act for Sayori or truly repentant about a mess. Glancing to Sayori, she said nothing, instead glanced downwards slightly, as if wanting to imagine this never happened. I don't blame her. So do I, in fact, but I can't, because unlike her I know what happens next.

"It's probably better for us to stay out of this..." She continued. "We'll go back inside once they're done yelling. Ahaha..." She forced an awkward laugh, as if trying to relieve some stress and failing. For the pause that ensued, she only looked aside while rubbing her arm. "Some president I am, right? I can't even confront my own club members properly... I just wish I was able to be a little more assertive sometimes. But I never have it in me to put my foot down against others... You two understand, right?"

Then, silence. At least, as much silence as was possible past the muffled shouting within the classroom past the closed door. Not even able to look at each other in the eyes, the three of us remained in place, waiting, myself walking over to the wall and leaning against it. I'd have imagined Monika to continue her dialogue, saying that the argument might make me not want to spend time with them and instead spend it with her...

But she just said nothing.

I know what will happen. Natsuki will run out crying. From here, Yuri will slowly go nuts, leading to her death. With luck I'll have time till friday, but with how everything has been sped up so much, I may not even have enough time. I can't help Yuri while also helping Sayori, either. It's all happening so damn quick. It was all within the span of less than a week after all, and I can't pull a miracle alone.

Natsuki, though. She was deleted, but she did not kill herself, and if that last letter disguised as a poem was anything to go by, she deeply cared for Yuri more than she'd ever admit.

Frightening the life out of us, the door swung wide open for Natsuki to run out. Knowing it'd happened served little to ease the fright, much less the absolute heart-wrenching sight of Natsuki with tears running down her cheeks, gritting her teeth and sniffing, looking like she wanted to scream in agony yet bottling it up. The three of us could only look for a second before Natsuki ran out, God knows where.

And I abandoned her, that one time. Like a complete idiot, I abandoned her.

And I'm going to redeem myself of that sin.

"Natsuki!" I exclaimed as I began giving chase, almost knowing very well she'd disregard it and keep running.

"Anon!" Said Monika, making me stop in my tracks and turn to face her. "I'm worried about her as much as you are, but I don't know if cornering her would do any good. Sometimes, people need a bit of time alone."

Can I really trust you when you say that, Monika...?

"I won't abandon her in a time like this." I said. "I won't abandon anyone. If it was you who ran out the classroom crying, would you want me to stay here doing nothing?"

Silence. A pained expression grew on her face, lowering her gaze downwards with clear conflicting emotions taking over her. Then, she took a deep breath before raising her eyes to me again, a stern expression taking over.

"Go, Anon." She answered. "Make sure she's alright."

"I will. Sayori, let's go."

With a silent nod, she walked up to me; Monika and I exchange a final glance, before I departed with Sayori beside me in search of Natsuki.

But as heroic as this seemed, it still felt like a railroad spike slowly driven into my heart. I left Yuri. I abandoned her. I took Sayori with me over fearing what would happen if I left her alone with Monika, and yet I left Yuri alone to her fate. I had no choice, really; I was presented a choice where the best possible outcome still meant abandoning someone. I had to be pragmatic, though. Natsuki's mental state didn't deteriorate as much as Yuri's, perhaps because she just wasn't a target, but I still needed her to aid me in helping Yuri later on. I couldn't trust Yuri to help me with Natsuki-- or rather, the Yuri that resulted from Monika's amplification of her flaws. Asking a Yandere to help me with a girl was suicide; maybe literally, if I'm unlucky enough.

But I couldn't dwell on regrets and what-ifs. I needed to get to Natsuki's heart before Monika did. Forgive me, Yuri. I'll return for you, I promise.

And so we through the hallway, where I knew I saw her running through, but upon starting to doubt I stopped in my tracks with Sayori following. I didn't know where she ran to, having spent too much time with Monika--

...

'Having spent too much time with Monika'... The script has a strange sense of humor.

I kept quiet, silent, with Sayori doing the same. I had thought I'd be able to hear anything like Natsuki's steps, but I could not. I had no idea where she ran off to, now. The school was immense, and after exclaiming her name out loud she must've known I'd go after her, so she'd have gone hiding too. Letting my shoulders drop, I couldn't keep a pained sigh from escaping me.

"I think I know where she is." Said Sayori, surprising me. Raising an eyebrow, I turned my head to her, letting her know she had my full undivided attention. "She has to be on the roof."

"The roof...?" I asked, brows furrowing over how cliched of a location that was.

"It's off limits for students, and Natsuki as she is right now won't care. It's not like they check regularly for rule breakers up there, either."

"I uh... Alright, point taken."

Thankfully the roof was through a hallway nobody even went to, so we won't be seeing going there. With all haste we headed there, up staircase after staircase, entering said desolate hallway leading to the final staircase, before reaching the metallic door. Opening it felt like reaching the light at the end of the tunnel, our eyes having gotten used to the poorly lit hallway only to be mercilessly bombarded by the sun which had coincidentally placed itself right ahead of us.

But as we stepped out into the sun, we saw no signs of Natsuki. Unsurprising, since she wouldn't just be where we'd find her immediately. Without saying a word, both Sayori and I separated to find her, spreading out to cover more ground.

"Natsuki...?" I heard Sayori saying, almost in a whisper.

I heard it, but I felt I wasn't the one supposed to receive the message. When I turned around, I saw Sayori sorrowfully staring past a corner of the structure we just got out of, staring where I could not. Curious I got closer, till I saw what she saw. Natsuki, sitting down hugging her knees by the shadows, tears already by her cheeks with an expression of agony and pain. For those few moments, it felt as if time had stopped, since none of us three said nor did anything at all. Only the light breeze served as some manner of ambient white noise.

Monika's words rang true. I didn't want to corner her. Bombarding her with questions and accusations would do her no good. Truth is, I don't know if there's anything in my mind I could say that was any better than complete silent. It was the safe route, and so I took it, remaining wordless, only stepping forward and calmly sitting down next to her. No pressure, no rush, nothing. Just the silence around us, other than Sayori's noises as she followed suit and sat next to me. Her positioning was probably well-chosen, to sit next to me rather than Natsuki so as to not sandwich her and make her feel constricted. Planned or coincidental, it mattered not.

"I messed up." Sniffed Natsuki. I had expected her to be silent for much longer, in all honesty. "Didn't I?"

If I said yes, it'd be stabbing her in the heart for no reason. If I said no, chances are she'd not believe me, or disregard it. Silence, it was again.

"Why do I have to be like this?" She asked, raising her arm and rubbing her eyes with her sleeve, leaving it damp. "Why do I have to lash out at everyone? I'm a failure to everyone. The only thing I can do is hurt others, and what little I don't mess up is what hardly matters in the first place. Just when I think things might be looking bright for once in my life... I have to ruin it. Now I got too full of myself and lashed out at Yuri..."

Pains me, but still I need to keep silent. I don't think I've seen Natsuki like this in the earlier loops. Sure I've tried many times to save everyone, my determination rewarded with everyone's deaths multiple times over in front of my eyes, but there's always something new. I knew Natsuki, and I knew her flaws, but I can't recall her speaking of them in a situation like this, on a roof. Turning my head aside to look at Sayori, I found her as silent as I was, staring aimlessly with her entire focus devoted to listening. When her eyes met mine, I saw her expression; sorrowful, yet not expressionless like before. Whether it was an improvement or deterioration of her state, I haven't dealt with depressed people enough to know. I won't pretend to understand.

"I don't know what took over me." She continued after a pause. "It's like whenever I'm scared about being useless or annoying, I find a way to mess things up and remind myself of what I am. Like now." Then, another pause for a second, before narrowing her eyes, gritting her teeth, and then digging her head into her knees as she let out a sob. "I don't want to lose a friend... Yuri probably hates me now... I know you and Sayori don't see me the same way after what happened, but..." She raised her head again, to look at me with those teary eyes which had already begun crying again. "Please, don't leave the club. This is the first time it ever happened, we're not like this."

"I won't leave, Natsuki." I reassured her.

Controlling a few sobs, she returned her eyes forward again, though there I could notice a faint trace of a smile.

"Why are you even here with me, rather than with Yuri? Going all the way up here... She didn't leave the classroom, right?"

"Monika is with her." I said.

As much as I meant it in reassurment, it only gave me chills. She thinks it was only her mind, her actions, her fault, but I know it was Monika's meddling that made Natsuki and Yuri violent enough to argue that much. It was her who made Sayori this depressed, to the point she couldn't even intervene. Regardless of any feelings towards Monika for that, it's still an outside entity doing this, rather than themselves. Perhaps it's for the best that they don't know. Sayori hanged herself in a timeline where she was the club president, a timeline where Monika didn't exist.

But that means I can use the knowledge to gain their trust, slow and methodically. I can't be too quick, as perhaps immediately going against the script and waiting for Sayori instead of going without her messed things up. I can not risk it again...

...but knowing my luck, I will not be given any choices, much like how I needed to spend even more time with Sayori to help her with the depression that had occurred ahead of time. Best case scenario, I lead Natsuki to be suspicious of Yuri on her own like in the original timeline which led her to write that letter to me, and use that suspicion to convince her to help me.

Best case scenario... I better start assuming things will go wrong. I told myself that the hard times have only just begun, and now I'm past the luxury of a normal first day.

"Natsuki?" Said Sayori, surprising me over how used I had gotten to her silence.

"Hm?" Asked Natsuki, without a hint of agression or irritation. Almost serene. Has she let it all out through crying and talking to me? Was it Monika's meddling wearing off for the time being? Maybe even both.

"It's getting late and cold. We should go."

Silent for a moment, Natsuki took a deep breath. "Yes..." She answered. "We should."

Natsuki was the first one to stand up. Both Sayori and I followed suit, and the three of us departed back the way we came from.

After a short trip, we arrived to the classroom again, yet neither Monika nor Yuri were anywhere to be seen. Though Natsuki and Sayori remained calm, I already felt I'd start sweating.

A note, on a desk. I noticed it immediately, left there obviously to be noticeable. I stepped up to the desk and grabbed it, and began reading.

A note from Monika. I could recognize that handwriting anywhere, now. Says that with how late it was getting, the two headed home. So too did Monika hope that, with the time we'll have till tomorrow, things can calm down and hopefully be resolved.

I don't know if she did something to Yuri. Extending the note to the others just caused a relieved expression on Sayori and no reaction with Natsuki, but God almighty I needed to put effort in not starting to panic.

With all that's been going on, I don't think I'll be able to rest easy tonight.

---

"Has it really never happened before?" I asked, rubbing my head as I sat on the bean bag chair.

"They aren't like that." Answered Sayori from her bed. "I never saw them like that before. Never saw them arguing, let alone with each other."

I knew what answer I'd get. Still, part of me wanted to just make sure. The paranoid part of me that thought that the entire past might've gotten overwritten to fit their new personalities as if they were always like that with faulty memories. Now that I think of it, these new events didn't help my paranoia a slight bit. So many loops, and I could never predict a single one of them to full detail. The script adapted exceptionally well; so well, in fact, that it caught me by absolute surprise how Yuri and Natsuki began arguing before I even read their poems.

Originally, if I could gauge it well, it was Monika trying to make them unlikeable enough to make me naturally gravitate towards her, but I can't be sure now. Much as I can see that reasoning, it still interrupted Monika and I from talking, and ended up making me spend my time with Natsuki afterwards.

The script must be fighting back. Monika wasn't an expert in script altering, that's for sure, but where does her coincidental failures end, and where does the script rearranging itself to fulfill its original purpose start? And whose fault was it that I ended up experiencing events from Act 2, even though we're supposedly still in Act 1 with Sayori very well alive and existing? Monika's, or the script's?

I said it'll be difficult to sleep tonight, but now I'm sure it'll be straight up impossible.

"Natsuki might look mean," added Sayori, "but she never means it."

Well, at least I have the morale boost of Sayori still being among us.

I really needed to stop myself from adding 'For now' after that thought...

---

	DAY 3

---

The sun shined on my face as I waited, leaning against the wall of Sayori's house. I couldn't help but stare into the sky, the very same sky I've grown used to enough that even an awful storm would more welcoming to my eyes. Over and over, loop past loop, I had already memorized the cloud pattern; it was the third day, meaning the script glitched to compensate for the day Sayori and I skipped. Fearing the equivalent of a de-sync error if pointed out, I never asked anyone about it, letting the script run its course as if that day did not exist in the calendar while all the memories remained somehow. Didn't mean I wasn't proverbially pulling my hair out trying to understand.

Wasn't the biggest issue I had, either. During my wait, I concluded I'd be heading into the territory of Act 2, yet with Sayori by my side. It hasn't happened before, and all I could do was think about how Act 2 would've played out had she survived. Couldn't come up with any situations. I was jumping in blind into these days, it seemed. Although... with Sayori's general silence and inactivity in whatever happened, the script played out Act 2 true to its original design nevertheless. Perhaps it'd not be too far-fetched to think that it'd be the same as every other time.

With Yuri dying tomorrow.

Checking my clock, it's past the time Sayori would come out again. Depressingly certain of what was going on, I decided to enter her house.

Cross the door. Walk upstairs. Reach her room. As I imagined, all remained dead silent.

"Sayori." I called, opening the door. A blunt word, rather than a question. I knew what to expect, and I knew Sayori had grown used to it after the first time.

There I found her again, lying on her bed. Though breathing and looking aimlessly upward, I couldn't help but see her with far less energy and life than that one time two days ago. She didn't even bother glancing at me, or acknowledge that anything happened at all. Even as I slowly closed the door, she still did nothing. Marching up to her and standing next to her bed only resulted in the same reaction; despite surely being in her peripheral view, her aim remained as it was, with only her blinking and breathing to give away any semblance of life.

The amplified depression never ceased, but I was left with fewer reasons to believe it wasn't amplified even more as time passed. If Monika didn't know of the script I've made for Sayori to prevent her suicide, she'd have naturally amplified her depression further and further each time, aiming too reach a point that I've made sure never arrives. Sayori, what living hell must you be going through...?

"It hurts..." She said, almost a whisper, a slow gasp.

"What's in your mind, Sayori?"

"Nothing. I see... nothing."

She took a pause in her words. Unwilling to interrupt her thoughts, I sat down on her bed next to her.

"It hurts." She said again, her slow voice monotonous and lifeless. "It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts so much... What's happening? Why is it happening? Something is wrong... What is wrong? What is wrong with me...? It feels as if I have a collar on my neck and something is yanking me forward... It feels like I'm dying, and yet... and yet... I'm alive."

It was no secret that I had no experience with this, telling myself this so often that it almost felt like I was reassuring myself that not knowing what to do wasn't ultimately my fault. Yet, I think it reached the point where nobody would know. Sayori isn't just depressed anymore. It's something else. Already days ago the depression should've driven her to suicide, and yet it still keeps getting worse.

I don't know if I can call it depression anymore. I don't know if it'll show the same symptoms of depression, considering it was brought forth by code manipulation rather than anything I know of in real life. Perhaps it has gotten so bad, that her instincts kicked in to tell her that it shouldn't be that bad, that something's wrong as she said. Much like a small stomachache might have the person worry little about it and assume it normal, and yet a pain that leads him to puking would immediately have him decide that something has happened out of the ordinary.

And knowing that Sayori had been depressed for a long while, she must've noticed it too. To live for years with depression just below the threshold of suicide, and suddenly have it ramp up God knows how many times past that threshold would make anyone start asking themselves.

But that's just my theory.

Then, I saw her attempting to lift one of her arms, only to fail and let it fall to the bed once more, sighing out in response.

"Anon..."

"Sayori?"

"It's as if I have no strength left to move. Can you... Can you help me get dressed for school...?"

"Going to school, despite being like that?"

"I can't give up. It hurts, I want it all to end, I want to give up, I want to rest, I want things to go back as they were..." She said, only for me to notice at that very moment a tear sneaking out of her eyes. "But I won't give up."

I grew a smile, proud of her, unsure where the script ended and where her own thoughts began, but she still needed to pull through nonetheless. Slowly I reached for her hand and gently took it, to lift it ever so slightly. I noticed no strength in it, but still no strength applied in fighting back. She was by no means against it, and no wonder, since she asked for my help at least.

"I suppose I figure out what never giving up means, Anon..."

"Hm? What does it mean, Sayori?"

"Wanting to give up... but deciding not to. A-Ahaha... Who would feel the need to tell herself to not give up if she didn't want to give up in the first place, anyways?"

With her chuckling, I found it impossible to not join in.

You only need to last a bit more, Sayori. Maybe you believe you'll be stuck like this forever, but as depressing as it sounds, it'll all end soon. Either with your betterment...

...Or with my failure leading to a reset.

---

Classes finished, and I arrived to the club as ever. Surprisingly enough, I saw Sayori in there already, as much as I'd have expected her low willpower to slow her down. Glancing about I saw her talking with Natsuki, and there I spotted Yuri walking towards me with a distressed expression.

"Welcome back, Anon..." She greeted, turning it obvious that the fight from yesterday still lingered in her head, even if I didn't know it from earlier loops.

"Hey, Yuri." I greeted back.

Fidgeting her fingers, she glanced about before taking my arm and pulling me to a corner.

"About yesterday..." She whispered, almost giving me sad puppy eyes with how sorrowful she looked. A sight I'd never get used to even if it happened every day. "Nothing like that has ever happened before... And... something just came over me, I guess... I wasn't acting mentally sound."

Original script. Was I just paranoid over Monika messing with her even further? Or maybe she did mess with her, but only as much as the original timeline of Act 2.

"Please don't think we're usually like this!" She exclaimed, still in a whispering voice. "Not just me, but Natsuki as well..."

I suppose I should follow suit with the script, then.

No, I don't think it's a great idea. I recall this instance. I said many words to her to reassure her, but I remember hearing her response, something that subtly gave away her worsening condition. 'A little too happy'. I oughta keep it short, I might as well be past the point of no return with Sayori here. I need to try something else, even if it's just to see how things go for the next time should I fail here.

"Yuri... I'm happy that you were considerate and apologized. You don't have to worry too much. Even though I've only been here a couple days, I could tell something was off yesterday... Maybe we were just a little extra sensitive because it was our first time sharing poems. But whatever it was... It didn't make me think any less of you. I had already decided that there's no way you can be a bad person. And now that you're apologizing, I know you really didn't mean it."

"Don't worry, Yuri. I know you didn't mean it. Something must've happened yesterday, maybe we were all extra sensitive for sharing our poems the first time, but I know it wasn't normal. I know it wasn't the the normal 'you'. Let's not dwell on it and instead make some good memories here, alright?"

"A-Ah... Anon..." She answered, popping an erratic, wavering smile with breathing to match, gazing aside as if she couldn't look at me in the eyes for those few seconds. "Don't say those kinds of things so frankly... They make me a little too happy."

WHAT

"I'm really glad that you're such an understanding person..." She continued. "And I'm really glad that you joined this club. Everything is a little bit brighter with you around, and--" she paused, interrupting herself with eyes widening. "Ah-- Sorry, what am I saying right now...? I just--"

"Y-Yuri." I interrupted. At this moment Natsuki should've interrupted us to ask Monika, but as I look back, I still see her talking with Sayori, both sporting a gloomy expression. The realization struck me at that moment: Did Natsuki remember? Originally she forgot, none the wiser to anything going on, but from a glance alone I could gauge something troubling her. "I'm happy you're feeling that way," I returned my eyes to her, "but have you talking to Natsuki about this? I saw the two of you distant when I got here."

Her smile slowly yet steadily dropped, returning to her distressed demeanor.

"Can I really approach her...?" She asked. "I've said awful things to her. Things... things I deeply regret."

"I've talked to her. I'm sure she feels that way too, but even then she doesn't know how you feel about it. It'll only do you two harm if you stay distant in a time like this, rather than coming to terms."

A pause followed in which I saw her collecting her thoughts, before she took a deep breath.

"Yes," she answered, "I should..."

Leading her on, I turned around and walked over with her by my side. The conversation Sayori and Natsuki had naturally came to an end as they noticed our presence, until we arrived to the table. Natsuki and Yuri then locked eyes, while Sayori and I looked from the sidelines.

"U-Um..." Began Yuri, finding exceptional difficulty in choosing words that anyone could see from her exterior alone. "Natsuki, about yesterday... I-I just wanted to apologize!I promise I didn't mean any of the things I said! And I'll do my best to stay under control from now on... So--"

"Yuri." Said Natsuki, expression still neutral and with monotony in her voice. "Why... Why are you apologizing?"

Eh?

"Eh?" Asked Yuri, as surprised as I was, even though our reasons different.

But after a moment of silence, Natsuki grew a smile with a low, quiet chuckle. A smile of melancholy, chuckling not out of laughter, soon for her to raise her hand and rub her eyes. From there, she stood up. I didn't hear her saying a word, but instead stared at Yuri in the eyes with her demeanor changing from calm to a face with narrowed eyes, pained. Then, a sob escaped her, just as she lunged forward and hugged Yuri with all her might, height difference making Natsuki cushion her head against her breasts.

"I should be the one saying sorry." Said Natsuki, much to the surprise of us all. "I'm sorry, Yuri. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Though her shock lingered, soon Yuri's face grew melancholic just like Natsuki's a second ago. With nothing to say, Yuri returned the embrace with just as much strength. "Let's... Let's all be friends forever. Promise me we'll still be friends, Yuri."

"Natsuki... I promise. I promise we'll be friends forever!"

Difference. Natsuki wasn't made to forget. Can't tell if this is progress, or if the script is gonna whip back at me with something ten time worse. Still, a happy event is a happy event, better than having to deal with bad things. Glancing and Sayori, even though she remained completely silent like a statue, demeanor eroded to nearly a husk by her amplified depression, I found her sporting a hint of a smile as she stared at the two.

The door opened. Turning my head just as the others did, I saw Monika enter.

"Sorry! I'm super sorry!" She exclaimed, closing the door behind her. With her arrival, Natsuki and Yuri separated after coming to terms.

"I was wondering where you were." I greeted.

The paranoid side of me took hold. I can't recall how much time it took Monika to arrive in the other loops, but it seemed to coincidental. If I was a more suspicious man, I'd start thinking she waited outside for us to finish first. But then again, she did take up piano...

"I didn't mean to be late... I hope you guys weren't worried or anything!"

"Nah, don't worry about it. It happens."

Though she smiled, I saw it silently fading.

"A-Ahaha, really?" She asked, forcing an awkward smile. "Nobody even asking where I was? Well... I guess I won't have it itching at the back of my head."

"Huh, it did take you long..." Remarked Natsuki. "What happened, anyway?"

"Ah... Well, my last period today was study hall. To be honest, I kind of just lost track of time... Ahaha..."

"That makes no sense, though. You would have heard the bell ring, at least."

"I must not have heard it, since I was practicing piano..."

Piano. Their conversation continued on as I expected it to play, to the point that words just entered from one ear and left the other. I couldn't focus- or felt it unnecessary to do so- and instead my mind focused elsewhere; on the melody I remember, the one she learned to play. I could almost hear it, the notes starting to play the tune, a happy melody after what amounted to Monika's murder-suicide which took the world with her.

Her voice, I could almost hear it. So many times have I listened to it, after so many failed loops leading to the same melody...

'Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you...'

"Anon... Um..." I heard Yuri saying, snapping me out of my... what word do I even describe it with? I've gotten so used to these loops, that it feels as if I enter auto-pilot where I follow the script by the letter. Now she was in front of me, awkwardly fidgeting about wanting to say something. "I wanted to show you something yesterday, but, with everything that happened..."

Quietly, she reached for her bag and took out a book. With both hands she held it towards me, and so I took it.

Ah, this book. The one with the strange eye. Portrait of Markov. All I knew of it was the cover and the name, as the contents liked to change between acts for some reason. Either that, or Yuri described it radically different. No reason to believe the former couldn't have happened, and I've never bothered to read it in full. Little too busy trying to keep everyone from dying in horrifying ways and whatnot.

"Hm? What's this?" I asked, appearing none the wiser.

"I didn't want you to feel left out, so I got you a book that I imagined you'd like. It's a short read, so even if you don't read I'm sure you'll... not dislike it. I mean, I don't know if you'll like it..."

Curious, I opened the cover to see the first page. Not the content itself but rather a preface, and in this loop it didn't change one bit.

"I'll give it a try. What's it about?"

"Well..."

I wonder. Will it be Act 1, or Act 2...?

"Basically, it's about this religious camp that was turned into a human experiment prison..."

God fucking dammit.

"--Ah, I think... I think it should be better if I let you read it without knowing. I-It's part of the experience, after all!"

...Eh? That line, I don't recall ever hearing it from her at this point.

"So, Anon, with how everyone else looks like they're doing their own thing, how about we... We read it together?"

Divergence. My heart almost skipped a beat; though her words sounded relatively normal on paper, she was quicker to suggest us reading it together. Though shy about it, more assertive. Taking the initiative, even if messily so. Obsession amplified? With how Monika had remained with Yuri yesterday, it wouldn't surprise me.

But a Yuri far more obsessive than the one who killed herself in Act 2? I may have gone through these loops enough to memorize a great many things, but by no means did it make me immune to fear, and that was an extremely frightening thought. Hell, what was worse, seeing an ultra-obsessed Yuri going for me, or finding out the hard what she did in that state should I do anything she could misunderstand as rejection?

"I uh..." I said, nervousness almost surfacing in full. Glancing around, I found her words true; Natsuki, Sayori, and Monika were doing their own thing. Much as I'd dread Monika being close to Sayori and Natsuki, my self-preservation instincts distracted me a fair bit from that. "Sure. Why not."

Her instantaneous smile unnerved me, as if she had contained herself at the very last second from shouting 'Yes!'.

"Do you... mind if I sit next to you, Anon? With how there's just one book."

Yuri, you know as well as I that you have another book with you.

"Of course not." I said, making space for another chair, one she gently brought.

Surprising, honestly; I'd have expected her to be quick so as to not waste a second, yet her movements seemed delicate and flowing. In short notice, she sat next to me, and to appear like I'm not panicking to the point of nearly shivering, I opened the book at the beginning for us to see.

"Anon... I'm sorry, but I can't see well."

"Where do you need me to put the book?"

"Let me..." She said, to then gently moved the book in my hands closer to us, right in the middle of where we faced. However, that only ended up in my arms remaining in a relatively uncomfortable position. "I have an idea." She then said with a smile, before taking her end of the book with a hands. I knew precisely what she had in mind, and I let go of her part, ending in us both holding the book with one hand each. In this posture, we ended up hurdled together almost too close for comfort. My comfort, at least.

Her breathing quickening a slight bit was the one detail I needed to confirm it. This was no accident or coincidence, Yuri knew very well what she was doing. She intentionally achieved what had happened through pure chance in the earlier loops. My breathing quickened on par with hers. Paranoia took over. Was she given the subconscious idea of this from earlier loops, so that she had the idea herself? Was this just a coincidence, too? Too many questions, and I'd get zero answers. All I knew was that the Yuri next to me may be a little bit different from the others.

Page after page, it approached. I recall it vividly, each time I said a character reminded me of her. Reactions differed from Act 1 to Act 2, but now, I really had no idea what to expect. Anxiety took over as I wondered: Should I say it? Should I stay silent? I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know how she'd react, and knowing how from Act 1 to Act 2 her reaction had become wilder, I dreaded to imagine how it would differ from Act 2 to... whatever Act this is supposed to be anymore.

"Hey, Yuri..." I said. I didn't even intend it, auto-pilot took over. Well, it was a blessing that it did in a way, since it completely removed the torture of wondering whether to do it or not. "This might be a silly thought, but... The main character kind of reminds me of you a little bit."

...

...

Silence.

Absolute, dead silence. Almost fearing for my life, I turned my eyes to her, only to see her wide-eyed and immobile.

"You...think so?" She asked in a calm, composed voice. "How does she?"

No, no, something's wrong. That's her response from Act 1, but why here and now of all places?

The book, it was from Act 2. Her demeanor, closer to Act 2. Everything that happened so far, from Act 2.

"Well, I guess she's more blunt in a lot of ways..." I answered, attempting to follow the script. "But--"

Her breathing quickened. A smile grew on her face, though wavering and awkward, almost as if containing it from exploding. Then, a chuckle, just as she raised a hand to her cheek and looked aside. Stuttering, trying to say something to me yet her chuckling preventing her from doing so, shooting glances everywhere but me. No pause, still chuckling and staring aimlessly around, breathing worsening further and further till it sounded like gasps.

Then, her smile died as she placed her hand on her chest, feeling her breathing and heartbeat. For those few moments, she fell immobile.

"...I just need some water!" She exclaimed, urgently standing up and letting go of the book, to then rush outside. I stared baffled, and once I glanced around to the others, I saw them staring with just as much confusion after what ruckus she had done.

With her eyes still at the door, Monika stood up and approached me. "Anon?" She asked, worried eyes locking with mine just as she arrived. "Did something happen just now?"

"Eh? I have no idea... Yuri was acting a little strange, I guess..."

"So you don't know anything..." She sighed, lowering her sight for a moment. However, she then returned her eyes to me, staring with a stern look of eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Or... maybe you know better than anyone."

I've never had a heart attack, but that sentence alone might as well have given me the knowledge of how it felt. I felt my throat closing, skin burning and beginning to sweat, wanted to scream in horror despite looking like a silent dumb guy on the outside. She knew? She must have figured it out. I've messed up. Doing too well must've led to this, of knowing what will happen and how to react to it. Compared to the original 'Anon' of the first timeline, I've become extremely efficient at dealing with situations, too efficient to be plausible at all without the memories transferring through timelines, probably just like Monika's. Still, all she did had been under the assumption that I didn't know a thing. If she knows... Lord almighty, what if this affects every future timeline too? What if her memories of having figured out what I know transfer to the future? I might've messed up for good, with no reset to save me.

"...Ahaha," she laughed, returning her face to that happy, carefree look I've grown used to throughout the loops, "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was going for there."

Couldn't help but let out a sigh, just as I stood up.

"Are you worried about her?" She asked.

"Well, to be fair, yes, somewhat."

"I know how you're feeling. If I was in your place, I'd be worried too, but I suppose it's because you're somewhat new here. She does this from time to time, so I wouldn't worry too much."

Bullshit.

"She'll come back in a bit, I'm sure." She continued. "Even if we start sharing our poems now, she'll still come back in time. Say, how about we do just that? I wouldn't want Yuri to feel guilty about holding things up just because of her..."

"Huh... Sure. Just, give me a minute, I have to ask Natsuki something."

"Eh?" She asked, expression dying like heartbreak as I passed her.

It pained me. I knew what she tried to do, and I knowingly did the opposite. She wanted time with me, and now I'm almost ignoring her to do something with the others. It's what caused this whole mess in the first place, no? For her not to have a route, or not even talk with me for as much as she would have wanted to. My actions just now will bite me in the ass soon enough, but I'm past the point where I can afford the luxury of choice.

...

How poetic. I'm stuck in a mess where the script torments Monika through an utter lack of choice, and as I try to fix it I'm still left without choices at all, leading to the issues that caused it all.

"Hey, Natsuki?" I asked as I arrived to the table Sayori and Natsuki sat at, pulling a chair for myself and sitting down. I had no fear of interrupting anything, as Yuri's departure had already done it for me. Though Natsuki remained silent, I knew I had her full attention. "I noticed something strange about Yuri. Is this normal of her?"

"Well..." She began, glancing aside for a second in discomfort. "It's normal. Normal for her, I mean. I thought it strange too, but if Monika says it's nothing to be worried about..."

She knew it wasn't normal. Her last poem, if it could even be called a poem, showed her eventual distrust for Monika. I suppose that's why I'm trying to have her join me in the first place.

"I don't know." I said. "It's like she... suddenly started behaving differently. Say, Natsuki, can you do me a small favor?"

"Hm?"

"Can you go check up on her? If Monika says it's nothing it'll probably be a waste of time, but... I'd rather be sure it's a waste of time instead of just thinking it. I'm sure you think the same way."

In silence, she gave it some thought. After just a few seconds, she took a deep breath and then nodded.

"Alright." She said, standing up. "I'll check on her. I just hope it's nothing..."

"Thank you, Natsuki."

With that, she departed. At the same time, I heard Monika's footsteps approaching. I turned and found her walking up to us, with an eyebrow raised and her arms around her as if they were crossed.

"Well, I can't really stop you from worrying." She said.

"Is there something I should know?"

Silent, she turned her head to the door with a sigh. "There is, but... I probably won't be the one to tell you. With how you've been catching up without me having to guide you through these days, I can only assume I've been doing a fine job as club president. The other club members have been eager to help you, no?"

Lowering my gaze, I couldn't help but ponder over what I thought earlier. In order to fix things, it felt as if I had to worsen them thousandfold. I didn't want to believe it. Maybe I was fucking up somewhere. Did I really need to torment Monika more than the script ever did to save everyone? To save her? Can't say I didn't try getting together with her the first day, but it failed miserably. I can't remember why. It was the first thing I tried, an obvious enough route that after so many loops I've forgotten about the attempt.

Right. The script. That's why it failed. The same way the script, not Monika, made Natsuki and Yuri argue enough to prevent me from helping Monika in the weekend, so too happened most other times. I needed to remember that I'm not fighting against Monika here, but against a script that had driven her almost insane. What Monika did to the others, the script did to her.

But I suppose I'm tormented by a situation opposite to hers. She has no choices, whereas I have an infinity of them, and I'm tortured by the notion that there are better ways out there that I'm none the wiser about. There had to be a better way. There has to be a way to solve things without so much suffering, and yet here I am taking potentially the worst solution there is, if it worked at all. With no choices, one is certain that there's only one way; with infinite choices... are we ever able to take a true, informed choice? We're jumping into situations we know nothing about and try to work them out as best as we can, not knowing whether it'd work or not because there's just no time to think of every other possible alternative. I should know, I've gone through enough loops to think of any and all ways to solve this... and yet I'm sure I don't know a tenth of what I'm dealing with.

Huh.

I'm rambling. To myself, no less.

At least Monika could talk to me in that room. I'm going nuts. Maybe the same type of nuts as her.

This place is my own little purgatory, isn't it...?

...

I have a little moment of respite while Natsuki checks on Yuri. Nothing's supposed to happen. I don't imagine Sayori doing much, either. Nothing... save for anything I might make happen.

"Well, Natsuki might come back at the same time as Yuri anyways." I said, gaining Monika's attention. A look of surprise she sported, no doubt because we veered off-script so much that anything seemed new. "Say, how about I take you up on that poem exchange offer?"

Wanting to read her poem, along with the honest smile I had over being able to spend some time, even if little, with her made her eyes widen ever so slightly. A pleasant surprise before she grew a smile in return.

"I'd be delighted." She answered, to march over to her bag. I did the same, as Sayori remained to rummage through hers. Once I found mine, I saw Monika approaching to my desk, and without delay we handed each other our poems.

	'The first rock, thrown again.
	Times that will just never end.
	Ten, fifty, hundred times,
	All will flash before my eyes.

	A fascinating situation,
	in this claustrophobic endless space;
	fear no stagnation,
	despite no choices to be made.

	There is an oasis far away,
	just out of reach.
	But how will you reach it,
	if it just won't let you in?

	Perhaps you're on the outside,
	hoping to break in;
	but beware the harshest thought:
	It may not really be called 'in'.'

Different, again.

Huh. That raises an actual question. Is she just making different poems for each loop, rather than my actions altering what she'd write about? She's the only one other than me that retains memories. For her, however, she's the only one. Wouldn't.... Wouldn't that just mean all those poems go to waste, knowing we'll forget about them the next loop and instead of repeating them, she just writes new ones?

That's just... depressing. I'm not sure if I should reply with something from the original script.

"...Clever." I said.

"Hm?" She asked, raising her eyes from my poem, as if thinking she heard wrong. Though she hid it well, I could very well spot a slight hint of greater-than-usual excitement. "Do you like it?"

"I didn't get it at first. It's about... Well, I suppose the closest example I can think of is a character in a cartoon airing over and over again through the seasons finding out there's a real world out there. I've known of a few stories using this, but... I forgot about them and it took me completely by surprise. Well done, I like it very much."

Silent and immobile, ever so slowly her usual smile grew into a grin, unable to contain it.

"...A-Ahaha." She chuckled awkwardly, bringing one palm to her cheek and looking aside momentarily. "I... I didn't think you'd get it. I'm as surprised as you are, Anon. Guess I underestimated you."

"How about mine? Did you like it?"

Mundane. Average. Nothing you've not seen before. On purpose, as veering off too much would just lead to the risk of exposing myself.

"You're improving, Anon." She answered. "I suppose I might end up having a bias, though."

"Hm? How so?"

"Well, we're friends now, aren't we? I enjoy seeing you put your thoughts to paper, improving, putting in the effort, and each poem has that behind it. The good, the bad, I'll still enjoy it nonetheless."

Though I kept quiet for a second, I let out a small laugh.

"Charmed." I said, just as Monika extended my poem back, prompting me to do the same. From there, Monika stepped away with a smile still on her face, looking over her own poem more than I'd have gauged usual in the other loops.

I must've made her happy. Even if little, it's still something.

...

Paranoia coming in full force. Was she really happy, or was she looking over at the poem wondering if my memories carried over? Is she figuring out that I know more than I show? Christ, I messed up. I messed up, I messed up, I messed up. I'm an idiot.

Gah. This is killing my psyche.

Sighing, I decided I oughta dedicate my mind to what I have now. And now, I still have Sayori. Looking aside to her, I saw her looking at her own poem with skepticism in her eyes; worried, mayhaps. Once she noticed my stare, she shifted gazes between my eyes and the poem, before extending it to me.

"Something in your mind?" I asked, exchanging mine with hers.

"I... tried something new." She answered.

Let's have a look, then.

'Little light', it was titled.

	'Little light,
	might I know where you are?
	There I see you,
	all alone in the dark.

	How lonely is it,
	with no lights by your side?
	How dark do you see,
	in the endless expanse?

	No mirrors you have,
	no lights to look up to,
	and yet you still shine bright,
	alone if you have to.

	You must think it's all empty,
	you must imagine no others,
	but though I am no light,
	you're still my wonder.

	The light has no other,
	if a light he wants to look up to,
	but never give up,
	you're all I look up to.

	Never give up,
	though you see no light.
	Never give up,
	because you are my light.'

She's more stable than I'd have imagined her to be. Truth to be told, I'd have expected her poems to be far, far darker. Has she decided to cling onto the script I made for her? I can only assume so from the last two poems I received from her. She really puts effort into this, and I'm glad to see it myself.

At that moment I heard the door open. Turning my head, I found Natsuki and Yuri walking in; Yuri with a downward gaze of embarrassment and regret, and natsuki with a pale look and ghastly expressionless face.

"Ah, you're back." Greeted Monika. But the two almost ignored her; she, however, worried not. "We're sharing out poems. Come, join us."

Natsuki arrived to Sayori and I, and fell back onto her chair as if having no strength. Neither Sayori nor I asked what she had seen, Sayori possibly afraid of asking and me knowing too well what she saw.

"Poems..." Mumbled Natsuki, before eyes snapping wide open as if an idea came to her mind. With haste she dug around her bag and took out her poem, but so too did she take out a blank paper and a pen. She snuck a glance towards Monika and then began writing with haste, and as I looked at Monika briefly I saw her distracted as she exchanged poems with Yuri. "Anon, let's share poems." She then said, gaining my attention. Just as I turned, I saw her already extending her own.

I took the poem, and Sayori having finished mine extended it to Natsuki, who took it without much interest. What's more, I saw her almost teary-eyed, clearly holding back enough that I wouldn't have noticed had I not looked for signs like those. I figured out why when I noticed two papers in my hand rather than one; one started normally, something I've grown used to from her, but the next started less as a poem and more as a letter, messily written in haste.

'I saw Yuri cutting herself.' It began. 'This isn't like her at all. Nothing is. Before this I even noticed Yuri starting to act strangely around us. You've only been here a few days, so you may not know what I mean. She's always been quiet and polite and attentive, things like that. I don't care anymore, I don't care about trying to look strong or whatever, I only care about Yuri being alright. I need you, Anon, you're the only one I can ask for help. If I'll hate myself for being so weak and helpless by writing this, I don't care. I'll do anything, I'll bake you cupcakes, just please, I beg you, help Yuri. I fear it'll only get worse for her if nothing is done, and I don't want to think what's the worst that could happen.'

What's the worst that could happen... Natsuki, you don't want to know.

'Monika, though,' it continued, 'I don't know what to think of her anymore. She was dismissive when I told her that Yuri was acting strange lately, as if wanting me to ignore it, and I know she wanted you to ignore it too when she ran out couple minutes ago. I can't count on her. It's why you're the very last person I have left to help me. DON'T LET HER KNOW I WROTE THIS!!!! Just pretend like I gave you a really good poem, okay? I'm counting on you. Thanks for reading. You don't have to read the poem, it doesn't matter anymore, it's just in case Monika or Yuri start wondering.'

Moment of truth. The moment I put down the 'poem', in the original script Monika would've forced Natsuki to tell me to ignore it. Chances are that it'll happen again. Chances, that is, not certainty. Taking a deep breath, I lowered the poem and glanced at Natsuki.

Nothing happened. She still looked with those desperate eyes screaming for help.

Quickly, I glanced at Monika and still saw distracted, so I took Natsuki's pen and wrote on the letter. 'Meet me when the club ends.' Then, I extended it back at her, who took it with immense wonder and curiosity at that single line of text as she returned mine. Why she wasn't mind-controlled of sorts, I'll never know.

"Anon?"

Turning my head, I found Yuri who arrived to me. Devastated, embarrassed, expression giving away her desire for the earth to swallow her. Her demeanor had worsened thousandfold from the time she apologized to Natsuki and I. Awful to watch. With Yuri, Monika arrived, joining us so that all members of the club remained in one spot. "I... I'm sorry to worry you all like this..." She whispered.

Either Monika didn't hear, or didn't care, as she started exchanging poems with the others. Well, 'didn't care' seems a harsh description for what led her to be that way. A more accurate word would be desensitized; I should know, had I seen this for the first time I'd be behaving way, way different. The way I'm staying calm, collected, and cold resulted less from any discipline and more due to so many loops doing to me what they must've done to Monika, with only our mindsets deciding how we'd be in the end.

Gotta think quick. She never knew I knew. I never knew. At least, the 'I' who is in the script itself, rather than the 'I' who controls the former. Time had rewinded itself in the original loop, making the Anon within the script forget it, but I have not. Anon never knew she cut herself till her very last moments.

Or did she find out? I remember a feeling of deja vu in a loop. Did time rewind itself twice? Was it my imagination with all loops rewinding once, and treating two loops as one by accident in this rewinding anomaly?

Repeating things over and over can make them a blurred mess, I guess. Like zooming out to see a hundred million identical pictures side by side. One can't see the details, one can't see the contents, only a uniform color, a mess that gets progressively worse.

Do I give away that I know through Natsuki, or do I pretend to be none the wiser?

I need time. I have Natsuki trusting me whole-heartedly. Tomorrow Yuri will die. I must make sure it comes tomorrow rather than today, if nothing else. Perhaps Natsuki finding out might push her a little bit more towards insanity than normal. However, she must know Natsuki would tell me. Natsuki never said anything about promising not to tell. Lying to Yuri's face will only invite disaster. Difficult. Both had risks, but a lie to her face surely involved the worst possible outcome.

"I would tell you that you could've asked any of us for help, Yuri," I said, "but... I can tell how much you didn't want to worry anyone. It must be stressful for you to be in this situation, so... for now, let's share our poems, alright? Best we can do is let things cool off a bit."

"Th-Thanks, anon..." She stuttered. At least she had the strength to talk. I know I'd have been a nervous wreck in her situation, if I could bring myself to talk. So much attention thrown my way, so many worries from those I would've wished not to worry, the complete opposite of an ideal situation. Still, she extended her poem to me, and so I extended mine to her.

...

...

It's a wall of text.

'Wheel.'

We're heading in that direction, huh?

I take my time. Enough time to match the original script. A quick glance revealed it all the same as the second poem I received from Act 2, which just begs the question, did the script skip the first poem altogether? Her fight with Natsuki ended with us leaving, and so they couldn't share their poems.

"Ahaha..." She gave an awkward laugh. "It doesn't really matter what it's about. My mind has been a little hyperactive lately, so I had to take it out on your pen. Ah-- That is...a-a pen fell out of your backpack yesterday, so I took it home for safekeeping and--"

Though fidgeting, her eyes shot wide open and she brought her hands to her mouth, startled.

"What... What am I doing?" She whispered to herself, and I'd be left guessing if she wished for me to hear or it resulted an accident. "I-I should've given you the poem from yesterday, not that... thing that I can't even consider a poem."

"Eh?" I asked in reflex, raising my eyes to her. I didn't ask because of what she said, but rather how it differentiated from the script and the loops. Sure she has always faced some moments of realization that something's wrong, but in this one she seemed to figure it out quicker. Not only that, I'd have imagined I had kept my pen from falling off; was it yesterday's rushed ending to our club activities a cause? Or was it the script wanting me to lose than pen, and finding any reason to shoehorn it in? "You don't think me a tryhard or inept for that thing, right? Right, Anon?"

Strangely enough, she didn't seem to have read my poem at all. Part of me wanted to believe it was her obsession not having reached a critical level yet, but another part of me feared the type of obsession that made her ignore the poem to just look at my reaction instead.

"It happens, Yuri. Don't worry." I said. "Maybe you were just nervous over sharing poems for the first time."

In relief, she sighed. "Thank you, Anon."

And like that, I returned her 'poem' and she returned mine. She didn't read it. Whether she knew or not was beyond me. Forgot? Too stressed to read? Who knows.

"Okay, everyone!" Announced Monika, a sign enough for us to turn our attention to her. "We're all done reading each other's poems, right? We have something we need to go over today, now that we're all close to each other."

Monika then quietly glanced at Natsuki. I knew why. Natsuki would say 'Is this about the festival?', but Monika's expression of melancholy matched mine when Natsuki said nothing.

"You all know that the festival is coming soon, right?" She continued. 'Ugh. Do we really have to do something for the festival?' Natsuki would say, yet still dead silent she remained. Yuri would've expressed her concern, but her mind drifted off elsewhere. Sayori, it'd be redundant to explain her silence. "It's true that we've had the four minimum members for a while already, and with Anon here it's five, but we should turn complacent because of that. The festival will be a great way to attract more people to join the club, don't you think?"

Natsuki should've started expressing herself. But nothing. Silence. Glancing her way, I don't saw her frowning slightly and turning her gaze downwards, but other than that her mouth never opened.

"Is... everyone alright with this idea? I mean, it's optional after all." She asked, to receive no answer. "Natsuki?"

"I'm fine with it." She answered. Her tone gave it all away, she cared about it a great deal, but didn't want to get into an argument about it. Yuri's bloodied arm must be taking up her whole mind. I know I wouldn't want to argue about things like club activities when the fears of a friend's health tormented me.

"Yuri?"

"I don't see why we shouldn't." She answered, with a tone similar to Natsuki's.

"Sayori?"

"Sure." She said in a tired voice, distant and disconnected.

"Anon?"

"I don't know what to say." I shrugged. Must've been one of the very few lines I said that wasn't an act; I honestly didn't know what to say. "I've only been here for two days, so I don't have the club spirit in me I guess. I can do dumb labor, but... I don't picture myself coming up with anything."

Felt... strange. Everyone answering in quick, small sentences, and yet I answered it like that. Out of place.

With my answer, however, Monika sighed as she turned her head down, before raising it again. "I'll think of something. If nobody's against it, I guess we could think of something nice to do that isn't too difficult. It's still a few days before the festival, but with how few they are, we won't be pulling any miracles there.

An awful deafening silence ensued in those few seconds, where not even the smallest movement existed to make noise. I then saw Monika turning her head to the clock by the wall, and once I followed her eyes, I saw that it was already getting late.

"Well, I suppose that's it for us today." Said Monika, hint of melancholy hidden within her voice. "We should go and rest for a bit, we'll be working quite a lot starting tomorrow."

She turned and walked to her bag, prompting Yuri, Natsuki, Sayori, and I to reach for ours and stand up, noise of chairs sliding against the ground taking over in quick succession.

"See you all tomorrow." Bid Monika farewell to us, opening the door to step out first; however, she remained where she was just before taking a step outside. "And, Anon." She turned to me, now with a warm smile in her once melancholic expression. "It may have only been two days... but with you here, each day it feels we've been enjoying our time together for months. I'd have said years, but then it'd be creepy, no?" Then, a wink, before she disappeared from sight.

A chill ran down my spine. The ambiguity killed me. For all I know, she's toying with me, making me think she doesn't know.

Oh boy here I go again letting my paranoia get the best of me. Fuck it. What's my next move? Right, we're leaving. Crossing the door, Sayori and I head our way before halting a few steps away from the door. True to what I predicted, Natsuki stepped out and arrived to us, while Yuri marched away with her head down.

Christ, it hurt to watch.

"Natsuki." I greeted. She responded with an attentive look at us, rather than with words. "Are you free right now? We can go to my house and talk about this. The three of us."

Furrowing her brows, Natsuki narrowed her eyes.

"I really want to joke about a guy inviting me to his house, but..." She answered. "I don't feel like making jokes anymore. I'm free, yes. We can go right now."

"Do you not have to tell your parents beforehand, or something?" I asked, pretending to be none the wiser.

"Dad won't care."

"...Alright." I finished, turning and marching away. Sayori caught up, and soon Natsuki did too, all three of us leaving as a group.

---

Home. At last. Crossing my door, I instinctively threw my bag towards the couch; only a second later did I realize how stupid and edgy it must've looked to Sayori and Natsuki, who just followed me towards the table with their bags in hand. I plopped down onto a chair, Sayori sat next to me, and Natsuki opposite to Sayori. From there, a pause in silence ensued as none knew how to start the topic.

"Do you imagine she's been cutting herself for a while, already?" I asked Natsuki.

"I don't know." She answered, gaze downwards. "I... honestly don't know. She's been acting different lately, so I don't even know if the cutting is recent or if she hid it for a good while."

"Hm."

"Something's happening with her. I mean, I'm her friend, right? She could've approached me any day if anything had her worried. I'm... I'm not so aggressive that I'd make her not want to approach me, right?"

Sighing, I leaned forward and rested my cheek over my knuckles. "Maybe she didn't want you to worry about it. We're all pretty stressed here, so she must've wanted to avoid this."

Natsuki remained silent.

"She's... weird." Added Sayori in her eternal silence.

"I haven't noticed her acting weirdly, but that's just because I haven't gotten to know her. Still... if running out yesterday struck me as strange even despite that, she must've gotten worse all of a sudden for some reason."

"She was with you." Said Natsuki. "Did anything happen?"

"Not that I know of, which is what worries me. We were just reading, I said that a character in the book reminded me of her, things like that."

Silence.

"Maybe it was me being there rather than me doing anything." I added.

"What?"

"She's been getting weird a bit lately, but the moment she was with me, it jumped to the point she went to cut herself, right? I didn't notice any sorrow or negativity from her, so it's not like I did anything that'd cause it. Hell, I think she even wants to be with me a bit more lately, which only adds questions-- Oh..."

Pretending surprise upon a revelation did its thing. Natsuki and Sayori turned their undivided attention to me.

"I know a type of person that fits entirely what I just said." I added. "They develop some manner of obsession, and get excited when they're around their target of affection. I wouldn't be surprised if Yuri is developing something like that."

"Are you saying Yuri is getting obsessed with you...?" Asked Natsuki, eyebrow raised with a look of skepticism and disappointment. Sure enough, it felt as if I was bragging, that I was the type of person others would grow obsessed with.

"I haven't seen her be like that when she's with the others, of what little I've seen of her lately. She's way stranger around me for some reason, and what I said adds up."

Their gaze fell downwards, as good sign as any that they allowed my words to sink in. Of the two, neither said anything against.

"Why would she cut herself, then?" Asked Natsuki.

"Probably as way to vent. Can't be coincidence that she did that right after spending a bit of time with me. And if it gets worse..."

Images flashed through my mind.

Stuck in that classroom. Three days. Yuri's lifeless body. On the third day, the faint smile in her face had disappeared.

"How do you know that, Anon?" Asked Sayori in surprise.

It froze me. I didn't expect it. I didn't have an answer.

"...I've heard too many stories about it." I said. "Some, even ending in death for one or both. I know they're just stories, but I don't think we have the luxury of waiting to figure out what's going on with Yuri. She's showing all the signs, and if it turns out true, waiting will only end in disaster."

"Well, I heard Yuri talking about you more than I imagined, lately." Added Natsuki. "She didn't talk about any boys before you entered the club. I... I think you might be right."

"Doesn't help that she's bringing a knife to school with her. I don't know what would happen if she's pushed too far."

"Maybe we should tell the school staff--"

"Wouldn't be the best idea." I interrupted Sayori. "Having the entire school locked down and in the news because of Yuri won't help anyone, much less if it comes to light the fact that she cuts herself. Yuri must've been catatonic over Natsuki finding out, what would happen if thousands also found out?"

In truth, what terrified me was less that, and more the script whiplashing back at me. Of all the things I've done so far, none come as close to breaking the script as that would be. It would throw something ten times worse at me in return. I can't risk that.

Sighing out loud, Natsuki let her head fall till she rested it on her arms lying over the table. "What should we even do?" She asked, defeated.

Closing my eyes, I began thinking. Yuri had ended her life at a point in time where she was completely alone with me. I couldn't stop her. I stood there watching like a complete idiot while she took out a knife, knowing very damn well what she'd end up doing with it. Still, before that, Yuri wanted extremely bad some time alone with me, to confess. That should be it. Being alone with her will only end badly, and so I need to avoid it for as long as I can, because in the presence of others she contains herself, or at least tries.

...

Tomorrow is day of Yuri's death. Sayori and Natsuki don't know it, but we already have no time left. If my fears are correct, Monika already messed with her mind to the point that trying to help her would be redundant. In Act 2 she killed herself no matter whether I accepted or rejected her, such was her mental state. My very last hope of saving her is to find Monika and revert the mental erosion.

Somehow.

Easier said than done. If I fail to keep Yuri from killing herself, it'll all go to waste. Monika deleted the whole world afterwards.

Christ, I don't know what to do. I don't even know Yuri's mental state. I'm jumping in blind. I can't prepare if I don't even know what I'm getting myself into. Although, what I said earlier is a good base place. Keep Sayori and Natsuki with me at all times. Never have Yuri be alone with me.

"Alright, I have a plan. It's... not even a plan, but it's something." I said, prompting Natsuki to raise her head and Sayori to turn to me once more. "I want at least one of you to be with me at all times. I don't know what Yuri might do if she's completely alone with me. One thing is doing something in front of the entire class, but another is doing something when I'm the only other person seeing and hearing. From there, we'll see what we can do."

"That's it?" Asked Natsuki.

"That's it. It's a start. We don't know what's going on well enough to do something about it. If we start doing something and it turns out to be the wrong thing to do, we won't know until it's too late."

Though I saw the light in her eyes shining, knowing at last what to do, soon she narrowed her eyes and gazed down once more. A pained expression grew in her, just as she furrowed her brows.

"What type of friend am I, to notice this late...?" She asked herself.

But before anyone could say anything, her eyes shot wide open in shock as the sound of her belly rumbling echoed throughout the room.

Then followed Sayori's, who just covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. And finally, mine, who had forgotten in such stressful situation that I was starving. Must've been the same for them too. One loses his appetite in situations like the one earlier, and it only rears its head at a seemingly random time.

"I uh... I guess I should go home--"

"Nah." I interrupted Natsuki, before standing up and heading to the kitchen.

Upon arrival, I glanced about to see what I had in terms of supplies.

Then, it dawned on me. I have no idea how to cook. I can't just throw some random edible thing on the table as I did for myself all this time, I had to cook for Sayori and Natsuki too.

Beh.

Taking a deep breath, I made my decision. I can't disappoint them. I've eaten my entire life, so I just need to reverse engineer those things I ended up liking, right?

Soup should be simple enough. With just vegetables, though? Maybe Natsuki will like it better with some meat in it. Knowing her situation at home, maybe it's not even a matter of liking it but requiring it in her diet. With meat it is then, assuming I don't fuck up the cooking part.

"Sayori," I called, now taking out whatever I could find from wherever I looked, "Natsuki, come here for a sec."

They arrived as I piled ingredient after ingredient on the counter of the kitchen, be it vegetables or spices, and I've yet to even look in the fridge. Sneaking a glance back, I saw them looking in wonder, but not confusion, since I could tell they knew exactly what I called them for.

"Sayori, fill a pot with water for me."

"Sure." I heard her answer. Though her tone still seemed tired and detached, she still moved with greater haste than I'd have expected from her. Eager, as if. Within a second I already heard the ruckus of her looking for a proper sized pot.

"Natsuki, can you handle a knife?"

"If I can?" She asked, almost retorting. Rather than irritated, I felt a little bit of warmth returning to my heart, to see Natsuki's emotions returning in her no longer monotonous speech. "Hey, just because I look like a kid doesn't mean I'm gonna end up cutt--"

A pause, silent, with not even Sayori to make some manner of ambient noise.

"...I can handle it. What do you need me to do?" She continued.

"Chop these up." I said, grabbing a knife and leaving them by a pile of vegetables on the counter. "Peel, chop into cubes, throw it into the pot."

"Righto."

"Done." Said Sayori, pot weighing heavily upon the unlit cooker.

"Nice, now help Natsuki."

Without delay she moved, and so did I towards the cooker. With a lighter I lit up a fire, and placed the pot over it to heat. Then, I walked over and opened the fridge, to find meat within. Convenient. Had it been frozen we'd end up having to thaw it for a long, long while, or just make it without it. I took it out, closer the fridge, and put it over the counter to cut it. All three of us, preparing something together.

Perhaps it was the first activity we had together this loop, be it as club or not. Truth to be told, it wasn't pure coincidence. The opportunity presented itself, and knowing that I could do something nice for Natsuki, even if little and irrelevant should the loop reset itself in the coming days, I still took it nonetheless. All manner of things, all thrown into the pot, still with my mind running circles with the fear that it may not end up as anything tasty.

Huh. I'm cooking nicely for Natsuki and Sayori. Without them, I'd have just eaten something raw and called it a day. I didn't really care much for cooking, and now they're leading me to try something else without even knowing. Was I that type of guy, who is a mess if alone, yet keeps himself in shape with others around him?

"Done." Smiled Natsuki, dumping the last of it into the pot before clearing the proverbial sweat off her brow. So too did Sayori smile faintly, even if she said nothing, both her and Natsuki looking my way.

"Nice. Can you two set up the table now?"

"On it. Where do you put the dishes?"

"I'll show you." Answered Sayori, leading her away.

Why am I doing this?

Why am I cooking for them?

It's not even part of the plan. This aids in no way. It's just a luxury. I even said it to myself earlier, that it was just to do something kind for her.

But why?

She's just lines of code. So is Sayori. They're not people. Even if they were, they'd not even remember. The script is just giving me sock puppets to interact with.

...

...

...

This is what Monika went through.

I've already gone through this in the earlier loops, but the thoughts are still haunting me. Taunting me. Tormenting me. They never disappear. It's not a matter of getting over it or outlasting them, they're always there, itching in the back of one's mind, always whispering. And it drove Monika insane.

I don't need reasons.

I don't need 'why's.

Illogical or stupid, I don't care. I will see everyone through.

Sayori.

Natsuki.

Yuri.

Monika.

Real or not, lines of code or whatever else they might be, I will find a way.

Monika, how much have you suffered through?

...

Enough time passed that it oughta be finished. Looking at the other room, I saw Natsuki and Sayori talking with the table fully set up for three.

"Alright, it's done!" I announced, grabbing cloths and taking the pot with me from the kitchen to the table.

Almost excited, Sayori and Natsuki quickly sat down and stared. Grabbing a dish, I served for Sayori, then for Natsuki, who stared wide-eyed at the steaming dish of soup in front of her. Then, I served for me before sitting down on my spot.

I stared at my own dish almost with as much focus as Natsuki, though with radically different reasons. Sure Natsuki must be thinking how good it must taste, seeing as I didn't mess up the presentation, but I just remained with anxiety to the brim over wondering if I did well enough.

Scoop. Blow, cool it down. Then, sip.

It tasted...

Bland. Somewhat dull. I must've missed some spices here and there, perhaps put too much of something to the point the taste drowned out the rest.

God fucking dammi--

"It's so tasty!"

...Eh?

Looking up, I could only see Natsuki with a smile from ear to ear, taking another scoop. Sayori sipped from her spoon, only for her skepticism to turn into joy.

"You're right! Anon, I didn't know you cooked this nice!"

I did? What?

...

Was I being too harsh with myself? Maybe I did do well, just beating myself. I don't know. I've failed in some places, but... I did my best.

And if my best was good enough for Sayori and Natsuki, then it's good enough for me.