Spoonlicker Anon Pt. 15

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Summary: Anonymous is a child that no one can understand, not even Flutters. Twilight has learned 3 pseudo-words, several signs/ gestures, and a greeting. As more and more becomes known about Anonymous, the more caution turns to sympathy. With her friends now all on board, the next big question is less about figuring out Anon, but how to help.

Last Chapter: Anonymous hunts through the book for the missing minks, but stops when they spot pictures of Dinosaurs and Dragons. Twilight is equally amazed and frustrated, and asks if Anon is a shapeshifter. The answer always comes back as no, and she moves on. After careful consideration Twilight places Anonymous in a brand new subfamily from hominidea and names the new species hominem. Pinkie and Fluttershy show up a little later with a blinding flash. Pinkie tries to walk up to Anonymous but Twilight stops her and explains that she has to introduce herself first. Anon quickly warms up to Pinkie Pie and pets her head after a brief misunderstanding between Pinkie and Twilight. Now it’s Fluttershy’s turn.

Anonymous is just as quick to pet Fluttershy, much to Fluttershy’s relief. The yellow and pink blobs enjoy themselves until Twilight asks them to reciprocate via acting. Pinkie first attempts to offer some of the strudel she brought, but Twilight stops her in fear of conditioning Anon’s behavior. Following Fluttershy’s example, Twilight has Pinkie help apply fresh bandages to the arms. Before Anon will allow them to treat its body, it demands to put the clothes on first. Dash flies in to update the group on lunch, but they choose to stay in the barn. After a few note based questions and shenanigans, Pinkie and Fluttershy leave while Twilight and Anonymous take a nap.

Posted in Thread 931
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>A blunt jab against your stomach interrupts your sleep. The lazy afternoon air seduces your senses towards inaction, and you initially try to ignore the mild discomfort. Your brain, however, refuses.
>Remembering where you are and who is beside you drives the calm away. Spying a sleeping Anonymous, you look down to your stomach and find the point of contact.
>The little devil kicked you!

>Grudgingly awake, you give an annoyed glare at the sleeping attacker but the cluster of covers hides your target.
>Easing your head back down, you fight off the constant ticking of your now active brain and try to squeeze out a few more hours. Semiconscious sleep takes over, allowing both your body and mind to win.
>While your muscles recover your whispering thoughts analyze themselves.

>Strolling through the streets of Ponyville, you and Anonymous draw the town’s attention like a pair of wandering salesponies.
>From your podium you explain this new discovery to the gathered audience. Disbelief and wonder consumes the crowd as you go into intricate detail; the townsfolk riveted by your every word.
>Once you demonstrate Anon’s docile nature the ponies rush to greet the hominem; blurting out a constant stream of hellos and questions. Anon’s arms flap wildly in an effort to answer each one.
>The mass of bodies soon fade and drift away leaving the pair of you alone on the road. Heading home, you lead Anon into the kitchen where Spike was currently making himself a jeweled treat.
>You sit down at the table and are joined by the others. Cracking open a notebook the three of you pick up where you last left off. First going over today’s lesson plan about Equestria, you make a few of the basic signs. Anon replies in kind while Spike watches and manages the more complex signals for you.
>The model of efficiency.


>Another wave hits, washing out one reality with another.
>Sitting in the library, you loom over a hazy book. Spike rushes in; breathing heavily and shouting your name.
>”Twilight, come quick!”
“What is it?”
>”Homini….homini…”
“Calm down. Breath.”
>Spike bends over and catches his breath. After a minute he stands straight and points outside.
>”More Anonymouses.”
“Why didn’t you say so!”
>Creating your own mini purpleboom, you rush out the door and race to the edge of town. Once there, thunderous steps halt your advance and force your gaze skywards.
>A giant lumbering beast the size of a barn occupies all of your sight. You almost miss the horde of creatures clamoring on the beast’s back until they start shouting in their native tongue. Anonymous suddenly appears next to you, and begins yelling as well.
>The collection of hominems wave wildly in response. Another set of creatures are also making a commotion from up high, a strange yet familiar form. Accompanying the bipedal pack are what looks to be strangely large zebra. Again you note the distinct lack of jewelry.
>One of the zebras jumps down from the mount and approaches the two of you. First rubbing and nuzzling Anon, it then starts speaking the same way as the hominems; elated tones prevailing alongside the broad smile.
>After a short conversation the unusual zebra turns to you.
>”I thankch yew for waachking overd hA-non.”
>As your eyes shoot wide modules of logic whirl at high speeds creating a low humming sound in your head. Despite the heavy accent you can understand them!
>Absurd levels of excitement have you bouncing in place; you’re nearly taking off where you stand. A niggling reminder urges you to remain presentable, but the rest of your thoughts drown out the notion.


“You can talk! This is amazing! Uh…you’re absolutely welcome! I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle! Where did you come from?”
>The stranger stares at you with an awkward gaze for a moment before muttering something to Anon in the harsh language. More incomprehensible sounds come from Anon while you anxiously wait.
>Whatever the reply was, it makes the zebra happy.
>”I khome from my mhom and dahad.”
“That’s not…where do you live? Are you actually a zebra? What about the hominems, where did you find them? Are they friendly? Can you teach me to talk like that?”
>You push forward until you are face to face, weaving your wishes together into an unending string.
>The pseudo-zebra chuckles and points a hoof far off into the distance.
>”Yes. Find us pascht the mountanes.”
>Without another word, the zebra and Anon climb atop the oversized lizard and ride off. Your mental daily planner launches into a reorganization frenzy to free up your schedule as soon as possible.
>Halfway through, a simple answer reveals itself. You’re a princess, and princess duties take the highest priority.
>You’re going to go on your first diplomatic mission.

>A shifting from underneath your outstretched wing pops the dream bubble. With a slow gentle turn of your head you watch Anonymous sluggishly wiggle out from underneath the blankets.
>You return your wing into place as the clothed hominem lugs itself free. In a new display of movement they move across the floor towards the discarded shoes on all fours, and plop down to sit.
>The armor slides on effortlessly while the tightening bands secure the pair in place. One of Anonymous’ hands makes it to a nearby barrel and helps pull Anon to its feet.
>You fight your own struggle to stand with the assistance of a little magic. Once upright, you join the wobbly Anon pushing its way out of the door.


>That same guiding hand from before lands on your tender back, and the small body leans against you. The surprise weight from the added burden fires a warm shiver through your core. Try as you might to restrain the tiny smirk, it is a losing battle.
>With firm yet careful steps, you half carry Anonymous up to the house.

>All is quiet when the two of you enter the house. An artificial dusk darkens the rooms where the windows miss the sun.
>Unbothered by the lone sensation, Anon wanders ahead with a clear direction. Following along you spot the bathroom door close, and stop to give Anon some privacy.
>In the meantime, you keep yourself occupied by examining the empty living room. Various pieces of furniture spread out from the fireplace punctuated by the solitary rocking chair.
>Shouldn’t Granny Smith be around?

>Anonymous shortly emerges from the restroom; again with wet hands. Making another attempt to first get Anon to stay in place you point from it to the floor while mouthing ‘stay’.
>This time there are no footsteps after you shut the door, and when you exit you find Anon still in the same spot; its awaiting gaze meeting yours in the hallway.
>Unsure how to proceed yourself; you nudge Anonymous into the living room while you think.
>There wasn’t really a plan to come up until dinner, but Anon has brought you here early. Still, you were expecting at least one of the others to be around even if they were busy in the fields.
>You scan the room for some way to entertain Anon. There must be something around here to play with. What would an Apple and a hominem have in common?

>Starting in the far corner: there are logs for the fire, a fire poker and an ash shovel. Near the love seat is a basket full of knitting supplies and another apple themed quilt in the making.
>Next to the largest couch is a stack of old newspapers and completed crossword puzzles. The one on top is still being worked on, and you take a peek.


>4 down: an empty, voluble, pretentious talker. The word is 7 letters long, and a previous answer shows that it starts with W.
>With a haughty hum you find the nearby pen and finish the puzzle.
>Windbag.

>Having sated your curiosity you continue the search.
>The idle rocking chair wears a blanket draped over its back, and a similar basket of yarn hides nearby. Against the neighboring wall resides a worn phonograph.
>On the table in front of the love seat are a coloring book and a stack of papers; an accompanying box of crayons lies on the floor. Those should do nicely.
>Directing Anonymous over, you sit the biped down. Turning the coloring book to a fresh page, you give Anon a crayon while you hunt through the stack of papers.
>Bulleted lists of varying ideas, tried and untried, fills the stack; the subject matter unexpectedly diverse. New ways to find cutie marks is the main focus, but there are designs for buildings and contraptions too. A few of the more ambitious ones have accompanying doodles to match.
>While the majority is innocent enough; such as rock collecting and cloud chasing, others are more worrying. There is no desire to be around should the ‘firehouse paintbrush’ come to fruition, and the mechanical mess that is the ‘Applebucker 9000’ honestly terrifies you.
>Putting the unnerving images aside, you manage to find some blank sheets and place them next to Anon should they want to draw instead of color.

>Grabbing the crossword puzzle book, you take a seat on the large sofa and get to work. Not wanting to complete the whole thing and ruin someone else’s fun, you dip the pen in your magic.
>With minimal concentration your magical aura embodies just the tip. Purple tinted letters crawl across the paper as you answer; disappearing at your command whenever the current brain teaser is finished.


>In between solving page after page, you peek over to Anonymous. Assorted colors of crayons roll across the tabletop while the one in use scribbles with lightening speed. The fixated glare practically burns through whatever image. Nothing appears to matter to the hominem save for the current work of art.
>Sinking further into the cushions you gaze at the absent fire. Musings of a cold winter’s eve being fended off by burning logs seep into reality, and illusionary pictures of this very situation on a quiet night comforts your thoughts.

>Too quickly you are done with the entire book while Anon has moved from coloring to drawing. Your mind is currently hooked on word problems, and you move onto today’s newspaper.
>Glancing at the headlining article causes your heart to skip.
THE PONYVILLE CREATURE: The Latest Local Discovery!
In a public address, Princess Cadence has given new insight to the strange creature to suddenly appear in Ponyville a few days ago. According to her ‘The being we are calling Anonymous is not a threat, and has shown to be friendly. Caution is still advised until we know more about them[…]’
Princess Twilight Sparkle continues to oversee the situation, and has reportedly taken the creature to Sweet Apple Acres. Princess Celestia stated that anypony with information on the new creature should come forward, and has offered a reward of one hug for any clues about the creature’s home or family.
>Skimming through the rest of the article it goes on to cover the patrolling guards, scandals of rich ponies with illegal pets, and a growing commotion in the Canterlot embassies.
>Your focus sticks with the first portion; the word was spreading. Although the data you gave was a little out of date, it isn’t wrong. With news circulating  you may soon be able to take Anonymous into town without incident.


>The prospect alone throws you into a titter. Since Anonymous doesn’t like being alone, staying in town would be perfect. Plus Anon has repeatedly gone into Ponyville on its own accord. It clearly doesn’t mind the ponies.
>No, it is the ponies that are bothered by Anonymous; and that mood is shifting. They only needed one good lesson to completely come around with Zecora. When you give your next update everything should be straightened out.
>And then Anon can stay with you!

>You could be at home, you could have all of your books and tools at the ready, you could send messages to princess Celestia freely again. You could finally solve the hominem puzzle!
>The newspaper suddenly crumples inside your magical grip. After giving a cursory effort at un-wrinkling the paper you set it down. Crossing the lonely gap provided by the empty house, your determination drives you to Anon.
>Numerous drawings cover the surface of the table; each one matching the treasured picture left in the barn. What you understand to be Anonymous and the guardians are doing all sorts of activities. There is even one with them on a boat.

>The front door spurts open, accompanied by ornery grumbling and the tacking of the walker.
>”Rassin’ frassin’ nosey bodies. Can’t leave an old mare in peace.”
>Granny Smith enters the house and spots you by the table. Upon seeing you, her bitter mood lightens.
>”Oh, hello there deary; didn’t expect ta see you there. And you brought your little friend, too.”
“Gud hafternoon”
>Anonymous stays seated and looks over the green mare from the floor.
>”Don’t let me bother ya; I’m just gonna head into the kitchen and get dinner started.”
“Ah’ll help.”
>”No need for that, Ol’ Granny’s got it covered.”
“I want to.”
>She eyeballs you for a second before continuing into the kitchen.
>”Alright then, get a move on. We got a lot of mouths to feed.”

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Posted in Thread 948
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>The front door spurts open, accompanied by ornery grumbling and the tacking of the walker.
>”Rassin’ frassin’ nosey bodies. Can’t leave an old mare in peace.”
>Granny Smith enters the house and spots you by the table. Upon seeing you, her bitter mood lightens.
>”Oh, hello there deary; didn’t expect ta see you there. And you brought your little friend, too.”
“Gud hafternoon”
>Anonymous stays seated and looks over the green mare from the floor.
>”Don’t let me bother ya; I’m just gonna head into the kitchen and get dinner started.”
“Ah’ll help.”
>”No need for that, Ol’ Granny’s got it covered.”
“I want to.”
>She eyeballs you for a second before continuing into the kitchen.
>”Alright then, get a move on. We got a lot of mouths to feed.”

>You follow Granny’s command, but stop at the kitchen entryway. Walking back over to Anon, you give it a nudge with your snout. It is resistant at first, but eventually you manage to persuade it along.
>Grabbing the paper and crayons with your magic, you set them and Anon at the table.
>Granny hefts a burlap sack from the pantry and tosses it by the counter where it lands with a thud.
>”They’ll be out till sunset, so we got some time. What kinda things Anonymous eat?”
“Anun ahppears tu like shuggar an grains.”
>“Critter’s in fer a treat. You can get started rinsin’ them there sweet pataters and settin’ them on the pan.”
>You try to lift the whole bag, but fail to even raise it off the floor. This sack must weigh a ton.
>Instead, you take a few out at a time while she readies the oven.

>”Figure they’ll be mighty hungry come supper. Don’t think Miss Rarity knew quite what she was gettin’ herself into. Her help’s welcome all the same.”
“Wut makes yuu say that?”


>”It’s not that farm work ain’t easy. Ah know all my youngin’s, and I especially know my Applejack. She doesn’t like bein’ behind, and she’s gonna push herself ta make up for it. Rarity’s heart’s in the right place and Rainbow Dash is downright zippy when she wants ta be, but not a soul alive can keep up with an obligated Applejack; not even Big Mac.”
>You float the full pan over which she places into the oven.
>”When she gets like this she loses sight of everything else. She’ll work them to the bone if given the chance, and then beat herself up over it later. Big Mac’ll always stick with his sisters, and runs himself just as hard. He does his darndest not to let it show. The only one’s she won’t drive into the ground are little Applebloom and her friends.”
“That’s where Rarity khomes en.”
>Thornybushes, did you say that out loud?
>A rattling cackle informs you that you did.

>“She can be a whip alright; and it’s our job ta get ‘em back up ta snuff. Nothin’ perks a pony up like a big meal after a hard day. They’ll come in exhausted an’ barely feel like movin’, then they’ll eat some food and be as lively as a can of worms.”
>Her prudent stare locks with yours.
>”Hard ta stay sour when everyone’s havin’ a good time.”
>You nod with vigor.
“Hokay! Wuts next?”
>”Now we wait.”
>Waiting? After such a speech?

>Granny moseys to the table and eases herself into the chair besides Anonymous. Reluctantly emptying your energy, you join her.
>”You manage ta entertain yerself okay? The house don’t get much use durin’ workin’ hours.”
Mmmhmm.
>”Well that’s good. I woulda been back sooner, but those confound reporters kept hasslin’ me in town. They were askin’ bout you an’ yer friend here, you know?”
“Like wut?”


>”Soon as they figured out who I was they started askin’ what you two’ve been doin’ up here and if what the princesses said were true. A’course I told ‘em it were true, but they kept goin’ on and on. They were huntin’ for the slightest detail to latch onto. Ya could smell the city on ‘em.”
“Anything en paticular?”
>”What it looks like, what it does, what I thought about the whole mess. I told ‘em the same thing I said earlier; lotta fussin’ over nothin’. Put a pony in the city fer too long and suddenly they’d jump at their own shadow. Probably ask it a bunch of questions, too.”
>She certainly has a unique outlook. Hopefully Shining and the princesses can keep any wild rumors from spreading.
>Her attention turns to the guest drawing at her table.
>”Don’t you fret none; we’ll let ya stay here ’til you decide ta wander home. I gotta warn ya, the barn gets pretty packed after harvest.”
>Space shouldn’t be a problem. The both of you should be back in town soon.

“Thanks fur letting us stay. It was very nice of yuu.”
>”Phooey, you’re always welcome here.  You can even use the living room instead of the barn if you’d like. Just let Granny handle AJ and Big Mac.”
“Handull?”
>”They’re both wound up over Applebloom, and the harvest ain’t helpin’.”
“So yuu hurd?”
>”A’course I heard. When something’s got my apples flustered the first thing they do is come ta their granny. I’ve seen ‘em through some tough times, and I’ll see ‘em through this one, too.”
 “And yuu still don’t mind Anon being here?”
>”Not a lick. They wouldn’t mind either, except they treat Applebloom like a glass egg. They forget how they were just like her once, and all the good it did ‘em. Ya get one chance ta be brash and carefree; that’s why we keep quiet when you youngins think yer bein’ clever. You’d be surprised what this old mare knows.”


>That method sounds less than ideal.
“Isn’t that danjurus? They culld get hurt.”
>”Ask yerself where you learned your most important lessons.”

>Obviously knowing you had true friends who you can rely on was the most significant discovery. Finding your special talent was big too, but your friends were definitely at the top of the list.
>And that was reinforced every time the bunch of you…oh.
>Applejack’s statement this morning plays back in your mind.
>’If Granny found out some of the stuff we did she’d tan my hide.’
>The feared disciplinarian is wearing a humble smile.

>Considering everything, from your studious childhood to the many misadventures, there really is no comparison to which taught you more.
>In hindsight, it is silly how your younger self tried to learn everything from books alone, and found the idea of having such a great group of friends to be impossible.
>You’re a little ashamed to say those thoughts carried with you into adulthood, but the best part about learning is that it is never too late.
>How happy you are to have been wrong.

>The fond expression you wear is all the answer Granny apparently needs, and she switches targets to the third member.
 >”Let me tell ya about when me and my family first came here. It was many years ago…”
“Anun can’t uhnderstahand us.”
>”Ah’ll let this here youngster decide that.”
>Anonymous catches onto the cozy stare, and takes its attention away from the drawings.
>”Back in my day Ponyville wasn’t even a two horse town; just a lotta land and a lotta promise.”
>Anonymous promptly responds to its newest conversation partner. The groan is weak and subdued, forcing the storyteller to put a hoof up to her ear.
>”Huh? You’ll have to speak up.”
>When it repeats the set of unfamiliar calls at a higher volume you can’t help but cringe. Granny recoils with the same youthful intensity that possessed Rarity yesterday.


>”Good gravy, ain’t heard a thing like that in all my years.”
>The biped’s gaze remains stuck on her face though its lips arc down. A third try at a more manageable level fills the room.
>”Not right sure what you’re askin’, but if it’s dinner yer after you’ll have to wait like everypony else. Now where was I?”

>The frown disappears, and the foreign voice makes way for observable silence.
>”Kids today act as if Ponyville has always been here, but it wasn’t long ago we were sharing the place with all sorts of creatures. Why, I remember my Pa forbid us from goin’ out too far…”
>Anonymous’ inquisitive gaze remains hooked, while Granny maintains her own watchful eye.
>”Well I wasn’t gonna have any of it, so I snuck out my window that night…”
>Each seemingly reading into the other as the aged words ramble on.
>”I hadn’t ever seen such a thing before; dug up a whole tree it did. A’course I tried ta get a better look, and got closer thinkin’ nothin’ of it. That sent it into a right tear and it chased me all the way home…”

>Regardless of the fact you have previously heard this tale, you find yourself listening closer and closer; picking apart piece after piece.
>”Ha, I’ll never forget those feisty critters. One time a pair snuck into our house and raided the pantry. You wouldn’t believe how quiet they could be; caused quite a stir the next morning. Suppose I shouldn’t have been sneaking them food…”
>You never considered Granny Smith to have once been so reckless, and the parallels were uncanny.

>”Smells like the sweet pataters are done.”
>Without warning she abruptly ends her reminiscing. Clacking over to the oven with her walker she shouts at you.
>”What ya still sittin’ around for? Ya wanted ta help right?”
>Springing right up, you leave the seat and take the hot pan over to the counter. In turn, Granny opens a worn scrape book.


>”This here is an old family recipe. You’re a bright girl; you can handle the casserole from here. I’ll get to work on the sides”
>You read through the ingredients: measuring, double measuring, and triple measuring to make sure the amount is unquestionably correct.
>The best kind of correct.
>Anonymous soon joins you at the countertop.
>A tiny hand reaches for the pan every now and again. In response you maneuver the tray out of reach with your magic, but Anon is not so easily deterred.
>It tries to approach from every angle, and in all sorts of manners. You have to keep a sharp lookout for the many attempts.
>The commotion of cooking passes the time without notice.

>The smell of fresh bread wafts through the air. While cleaning up Granny takes a gander at the strange pair stealing a taste of the baked marshmallows on top.
>”Yer gonna teach it bad habits.”
>You snap your guilty hoof away from the food with an unnerved giggle.
>The thoughtful old mare reaches into a drawer and gives a sharp whistle. Anonymous jerks to face the noise, its sight locking onto the wrapped sphere presented by a green hoof.

>Slow steps push it to the prize which it easily unwraps before popping the sugary delight into its mouth.
>”Now don’t go tellin’ anypony about my secret stash.”
>Your brain swiftly fires a demand to yell at her for giving Anon something new, but you reel in the reins. Your entire ‘let it choose’ method is literally based on the same concept.
“Wut are those?”
>”Butterscotch. Ya want one?”
“No thanks.”
>Sugar, sugar, butter. Okay.
>That should be safe for Anon, and you have to experiment as much as you can. However, the doubt steadily swells.
>What if Anon was allergic? Would they eat something bad if it was covered in sugar? Maybe you should have stuck with cupcakes.


>Probing your mental catalogue you search for the common signs of food poisoning. Discoloration of the face; fatigue; achy tummy; vomiting.
>The second, and you mean the very second, Anon appears sick you are taking it to the hospital.
>Without teleporting it would take twenty three minutes to get to the hospital at full speed. In your condition it would take roughly an hour to carry Anon there. Dash is the fastest, and Big Mac is the strongest. Applejack is second in both.
>A mild voice interrupts your calculations.
>”What’s yer plan, Twilight?”
Hmmm?
>”What’s yer plan? With Anonymous?”

>Looking back to the subject in question, it has finished the candy and is digging through the drawer for another.
>”No, git!”
>She shoos Anon away, buying you a second to organize your thoughts.
“Well, we’ll do wut we can until the guardeuns are found. I du want tu take Anun entu town when et feels better.”
>”Thinkin’ that’s where it wants ta be?”
“Et was furst found there. Ah’m also hopin’ tu get ponies use to et.”
>”You bes’ be prepared for a bunch a ruckus. Half them ponies don’t know if they’re comin’ or goin’.”
“Ah’ll visit alone an’ try tu smoof things over furst. Either way, et’ll haf tu be dun.”
>The firm yet playful voice that gives Granny her essence of reverence gives way to solemn acceptance.
>”Thinkin’ further ahead huh? Yer a smart mare; I’m sure that’s for the best.”

>A rhythmic knock catches the both of you off guard; snapping the elder to her stalwart self.
>”Could ya get the door? Ah’ll finish up in here.”
>You nod and head for the front door while considering who would actually knock.
>The answer bursts through the very moment you go for the knob.
>”WE’RE HERE!”
>You’re involuntarily thrown into the air for the second time in just as many days.
>This time her partner makes no attempt to shush her; only offering a simple smile.
>”Hello.”


>”Wow Granny Smith, that anti-aging cream is really good; you’re all young and stuff. And purple, too. I don’t think purple is really your color; I mean who ever heard of a purple apple? Certainly not me. Now Professor Plum, there’s a stallion that can pull it off, but I wouldn’t trust him with any candlesticks.”
>Settling from the jolt, you cast a deadpan glare her way.
“Fascinating.”
>”Oh, Twilight, it’s you. That makes super more sense. We were wondering why you weren’t in the barn, and here you are. Ignore all that purple stuff; it totally suits you.”
>Restraining your aches and annoyance, you let them in. Pinkie wastes no time waddling into the kitchen while Fluttershy strolls along with you bringing up the rear.

>Granny Smith sets the last of the dishes onto the table.
>”There’s just one of ya this time, right?”
>”Yup, yup, yup. Thanks for having us, it’s always super fun.”
>”Hello Granny Smith, how are you?”
>”How many times Ah gotta tell ya just Granny will do?”
>”Oh, uh, sorry. How are you, Granny?”
>”Ah’m peaches ‘n cream. You two make yerself at home.”

>Pinkie zips over to the other dinner guest.
>”Hey Nony, long time no see!”
>Rushing forward, she brushes against Anon’s hand. Anon instantly starts petting her with those same round circles.
>”Hello Anonymous.”
>Fluttershy moves to say hello with the free hand; again met with the long strokes.
>You study the greeting, but your mind is more focused on the lack of introduction with Dash and Granny.
>They made no deliberate moves to get Anonymous to say hello, and Anon didn’t try to on its own. Maybe it is more passive than you thought? Was Fluttershy or Anon the one who initiated the exchange that fateful day?
>Your gut reaction wants to say it was Anon, but Fluttershy approached it first. You’ll have to double check your notes. For the time being, let’s see how it behaves towards the rest of the group naturally.


>“Y’all go ahead and have yourselves a seat. The others won’t be long.”
>Pushing your head against Anon’s back, you corral it into a chair. You sit on one side of Anonymous, and Pinkie takes a seat on the other. Fluttershy sits across from Pinkie, keeping Anon in clear view.
>The green mare leans out of the kitchen door with a metal rod held in her mouth. You rush to flatten your ears and cover Anon’s with your hooves.
>”COME AN GET IT!”
>The alarm cries out against the assault causing an awful racket. However, Winowa comes charging in alone.
>After a few minutes pass it becomes clear why. One by one the group of dusty farmers shambles inside. Even the spry Rainbow Dash is apathetic to the prospect of food.
>Anonymous’ choice of action is to simply observe the newcomers from the chair. Interesting…

>The cutie mark crusaders let their weariness clearly show, while Rarity continues to uphold some sense of elegance.
>Only Big Mac’s dragged steps give any sort of tell. On the other hoof, Applejack still retains her energy.
>”Whew-wee, that was a rough start but boy did we get a lot done ta-day. Y’all did good out there, we’ll be caught up in just a few days.”
>Winowa wildly circles Applejack with an occasional bark.
>”Calm down girl, Ah’m getting’ it.”
>Applejack ducks into one of the cabinets while Dash practically crashes into the spot next to Fluttershy.
>”How do ponies do this every year?”
>Rarity gives herself a once over. Concern paints her face as she spies the grime of hard labor, but her tone remains semi-positive.
>”Now, Rainbow, things were just a little….unexpected. I’m sure tomorrow will be better.”
>She gives a weak laugh at the end of the sentence.
>Scootaloo sits near Rainbow Dash, followed by her two compatriots. The act swings Rarity right out of her dismay.


>”What do you three think you are doing? You have to wash up before dinner.”
>Sweetie Belle begins to get down, but stops when Dash interjects for the trio.
>”Relax Rare. It’s just a little dirt.”
>And is immediately parroted by Scoots.
>”Yeah, just a little dirt.”
>”If Rainbow Dash doesn’t need ta why should we?”
>Sweetie sits with pride.
>”What they said.”
>Cold, unforgiving eyes lock onto Rainbow. Two absolute words dominate the resistance.
>”No. Excuses.”

>Rainbow rubs the back of her neck.
>”On second thought, you should probably clean up first.”
>”ALL of you.”
>Dash prepares to argue, but shortly shuts her mouth when again spying the scowl. With a loud huff she leads the fillies out while Rarity acts as hall monitor. You can spot Granny’s peaceful grin at the head of the table.
>A snortle spurts out of Pinkie Pie.
>”If Rainbow’s not careful Rarity’s gonna… clean her clock.”
>Pinkie bursts into a laugh while Fluttershy gives a pity chuckle. You can’t help but groan internally.
>The wound up comedian nudges her unresponsive neighbor.
>”Get it; Rarity, clean, Rainbow, clock.”
>Anonymous just tilts its head.

>Not one to give up, Pinkie’s hyperactive hooves dance about in various signs. With each unsuccessful pass, she creates more and more.
>Anonymous mixes in its own signals, including a finger poking out from its forehead and another where it brings both hands together at the thickest digit then flaps its palms.
>You can track the progress up to a point, though Pinkie’s rapid flailing makes it difficult.
>However, you already know the outcome. She’s being complex again; there’s no way she’ll be able to convey the message properly. Plus, the ‘How to’ books you’ve read have a specific warning that dooms this idea from the start.
>”Awww, you’ll get the next one.”
>Never explain a joke.


>Applejack sets out a bowl of dry dog food which Winowa dives into. The sight triggers your own curiosity, and you snag a stray piece with your magic making your friend none too happy.
>”Hey, what’s the big idea?”
“Need for a test.”
>The slighted apple replaces the nugget you stole with another and rubs her cheek against the pup. Meanwhile, you plunk yours onto Anon’s plate.
>Anonymous looks to you like you committed some sort of crime. Strike one for this idea.
>Continuing the experiment, you show Anon the cup of sugar and sprinkle some over the morsel. Fluttershy quietly observes unlike Pinkie.
>”Twilight, dog food is for dogs silly.”
“We haff tu try everything. We don’t exactly haff ‘hominem food’.”
>”What’s a hominem?”
>You point to Anonymous.
 “Hominem is wut Ah’m callin’ the species.”

>Anonymous analyzes the sugar coated oddity put in front of it.
>Big Mac and Applejack make use of the kitchen sink while the small group wraps up in the hallway.
>Rarity’s façade cracks as she slumps down besides you. Quick to catch herself, she adopts a proper posture. The quarrelsome quadruplets take to their seats minus further hassle.

>Big Mac takes position adjacent Rarity; the duo keeping a vigilant eye on the young three. Applejack sits at the foot of the table.
>Anon finds some sort of conclusion and picks up the dog food. Uncertain but daring, they give it a try.
>The crunch of kibble is short lived as Anon spits the mush onto its plate.

>Bleh. That’s not something you want to see prior to eating.
>Well, no one said science was pretty.
>A purple air surrounds a napkin and the plate. Mentally carrying the set to the sink, you wipe off the plate and then give it a rinse. Throwing away the napkin, you return the plate to where it belongs.


>Poor Rarity looks about ready to lose her appetite. She flings her head away with a napkin held over her mouth.
>”Please don’t do that again, or at least give a warning next time.”
>Fluttershy chimes in, unfazed by the act.
>”Spitting up food isn’t too strange. Regurgitation is fairly common; why several creatures use it as a method to feed their—“
>”Not at the table, I beg you.”

>Rarity’s protest shushes Fluttershy, but incites a little revenge for the teasing this morning.
“Et’s merely fact. There are ehven well documented benafits.”
>A gentle yet stern tone ends your fun before Rarity becomes even whiter.
>”Enough yabberin’. Twilight and I didn’t make all this food fer nothin’. What’cha waitin’ for, dig in.”
>The mob divides the spoils in respectful anarchy, letting first come first serve rule the order. Granny is the one exception who gets to take her share unopposed, and not just for being elderly.
>When it comes to weaponizing utensils she is second to none.
>You levitate a piece of the casserole for yourself and a mini test piece for Anonymous, being sure to grab the portion the two of you were sampling.

>Strangely enough, Dash has not moved from her spot and is just brooding there with her forelimbs crossed.
“Yuu goin’ tu eat, Rainbow?”
>”Eventually.”
 >She refuses to divulge any more information, but Granny is quick to explain.
>”Little hooligan swiped an early lunch so she gets to go last.”
>You just shake your head.
>Oh Rainbow Dash.

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Posted in Thread 954
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>The mob divides the spoils in respectful anarchy, letting first come first serve rule the order. Granny is the one exception who gets to take her share unopposed, and not just for being elderly.
>When it comes to weaponizing utensils she is second to none.
>You levitate a piece of the casserole for yourself and a mini test piece for Anonymous, being sure to grab the portion the two of you were sampling.

>Strangely enough, Dash has not moved from her spot and is just brooding there with her forelimbs crossed.
“Yuu goin’ tu eat, Rainbow?”
>”Eventually.”
 >She refuses to divulge any more information, but Granny is quick to explain.
>”Little hooligan swiped an early lunch so she gets to go last.”
>You just shake your head.
>Oh Rainbow Dash.

>Taking a bite, those ever running logic centers of your brain systematically diagnose the flavors. The unnecessary busywork is filtered; dwarfed by the rival fragments demanding you enjoy the moment.
>You grant them their victory. Having seen Anon reject something despite the sweetness comforts your general concern, though you keep Applejack at the top of your rapid response list.
>Peeking at the orange ambulance, you catch her knock a tiny bit of her dinner off the table while gossiping. She’s practically whistling Dixie when you spot the wagging brown and white tail underneath.
>Granny makes small talk with Big Mac and Rarity about the farm and the happenings in town. Although she doesn’t seem to notice you have your suspicions.
>Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and the crusaders juggle watching Anon and eating. Rainbow Dash shows little care for anything other than the plate in front of her.
>Nearly all of your friends are here.
>Wonder what Spike and Owlicious are doing for dinner.


>A squeaky voice grabs you from across the table.
>”Anonymous eats pony food?”
>Anonymous’ gaze snaps to Sweetie Belle. Banging a flat hand against its chest, it speaks its own version with a low rumble.
>Wow, you’ve never seen the girls cover one another like that. Each one has their mouth sealed by a partner’s hoof before they even make a peep, and their execution is flawless. It’s almost as if they’ve been practicing.
>The ears around the table pop up, and the cutie mark ballet comes to a close. The three look to one another, basking in some sort of relief.
>Ha, that was pretty impressive. Did they try for a dancing cutie mark already?
>Next time they ask you for advice you may have to make a suggestion.
>As for the noise, you can explain this one for them.
“It’s tellin’ yuu it’s name.”

>Their faces light up one after the other.
>“Like Arrrggggulll?”
>Applebloom is the first to try, her accent neither helping nor hindering the attempt.
>”No, that’s not it. It went like Krraakkcha”
>”It sounded more like Pffffrrrow”
>Anon rumbles again; softer yet strengthened. The crusaders do not fly into their routine; instead they adopt the tried and true flattening of ears.
>”See, Ah told ya it was Arrrggggulll.”
>”You couldn’t be wronger.”
>”That’s not a word.”
>”Girls, stop your arguing. You’ll just hurt yourselves trying to talk like that.”
>The crusaders cease bickering and look to the table. Your bipedal youngster, on the other hoof, brightens even more.

>Anonymous first points to Rarity, silencing her intrusion, then to Sweetie Belle. Horizontal chops immediately follow.
>It does the same for Applebloom to Applejack, then finally Scootaloo to Rainbow Dash.
>Three sets of wide questioning eyes fixate on Anon; the round pools anxiously awaiting whatever is to come their way.


>Applejack nods with a tiny grin. Rarity’s head swivels around, avoiding eye contact. After the brief journey around the room her focus returns to Sweetie with a coy smirk. Rainbow Dash rubs the side of her forelimb with a dumb grin on her face.
>Big Mac and Granny Smith stare at you rather than Anon; Big Mac with a raise brow and Granny with a one bulging eye.
>Pinkie and Fluttershy drink in the scene; one casually bouncing in her chair, the other pleasantly still.
>Your mental filters fly off releasing a torrent of information. Your hypothesis now has a solid base to stand on. However, you bury the giddy excitement, and offer the girls a simple smile.
“Anunamuus says that those are your family, and that they are very important to you.”

>Technically it means ‘related’, which can be a broad definition, but the girls don’t need the specifics.
>”But Rainbow Dash and I aren’t sisters, not to say I wouldn’t want to be.”
>”Heh, yeah—I mean, you’re all right, but I get ya. Everypony would be lucky to have me as a sister. There’s just a bit of ‘lost in translation’ going on.”
>”Family huh? Well then…”
>Applebloom knocks on the table twice, grabbing Anon’s attention. She marks herself, Big Mac and Granny then mimics the chopping motion.
>Anonymous repeats what she ‘said’ and stares at her. Applebloom eagerly nods, but the stare does not change.
“Like this.”
>Bringing up your hooves, you give two slow bangs. Anon turns towards the noise, but you lead its vision back to Applebloom.

>Applebloom makes the gesture as per your instructions causing Anon to examine all four apples.
“That means yes.”
>A hollow thump comes from Anon as it bangs a flat palm against its chest a second time, then makes the related symbol and raises one of its hands as high as it can. The hand remains parallel with the floor and swings back and forth.
>Everyone save for Anonymous looks to you.
“Ay dhon’t know that one.”


>Anon’s arms set back into their neutral position, and it watches without making any more moves.
>You shouldn’t respond yes or not without a proper understanding. Nopony seems inclined to make a guess either, so you better start analyzing.
>Well, the new sign is sort of similar to the chops, but elevated. Related high? Higher relations? Maybe for size or age?
>”That’s very nice. Thank you for sharing.”
>Fluttershy’s innocent melody fills the void. A humming bass sound from Anon replies drumming out your thoughts. At the end of the sound it goes back to poking at its food.

“Fluttershy?”
>”Just a hunch.”
“Like ah ‘Ay haff a clhue wut it said’ hunch?”
>She slowly shakes her head.
>Hmmm, it didn’t wait for an established sign. Was that not a question or did it take Fluttershy’s reply as some sort of answer? Besides hearing its name, Anonymous does not usually react to words.
>You’ll have to dissect this more later; dinner is what’s important right now, and Sweetie Belle’s original question is still open.

“Anunymus eats shweet foods, yes. Some frhuits and vhegetables, but not grasses.”
>”And candy?”
>You take a quick glance at Granny who continues to appear as unaware as everyone else.
“Ay haff a hunch Anun likes candy too.”
>Applebloom hurriedly cuts in.
>”Have ya found its parents yet?”
>Scootaloo just as quickly rebuttals.
>”If she did wouldn’t she have taken Anonymous home?”
>”Maybe it’s really far away and they want to eat before leaving.”
>”That makes sense. Are you getting ready to leave?”
>Sweetie Belle hops right back in.
>”Can we come too?”
“No, we’re not leaffing.”
>Utter certainty bellows from the seat beside you.
>”And you most certainly will not be going when they do.”
>”That’s fer sure. We’re also lookin’ fer any of its kin. Might be their granny we find.”
“Or completely unrelated. We don’t noh how hominem social strhucture works.”


>Your jaunty friend purrs from her seat.
>”There’s that word again.”
 “Hominem: A member of the hominidae family, hominems strhongly rely on touch, sight, and cooperation. They ohpenly display their emohtions with bodily cues similar to pohnies, which they use to communicate alongside their hunique calls. They are most active in the day, and their diet consists of shugar and grain.”
>Blank stares fill nearly the entire table; the exceptions being Rainbow Dash, who went back to eating as soon as you started your definition, and Anonymous, who seems to be competing with Dash for ‘highest food to face ratio’.
 “It’s a work in prhogress.”

>The oversized bow jiggles in tandem with the hazy eyed filly.
>”What’s a homm-in-id-aye?”
>”That’s the name for some of the monkey types related to one another. Gorillas and orangutans are hom-ini-dye as well.”
>Guess you’re not the only one who can sound like a dictionary.
>”Monkeys still live with their parents don’t they?”
>”Most live in troops which are small groups; kind of like Ponyville. Some do live with both parents, some only live with one, and some live with a different troop altogether.”
>”That’s weird.”
>A strong, profound voice enters the conversation.
>”T’aint our place ta judge.”
>And just as quickly leaves.

>Big Mac’s punctuated statement lingers for a moment, but the clatter of plates from Rainbow Dash and Anonymous keeps the room alive.
>In short order the rest of you get back to dinner, though you take one more peek at your side.
>Eleven. There are eleven of you here, and Anon appears unbothered. This raises the previous upper limit on accepted group size for ‘Active Stage A’ by four.
>Another tidbit to store away for later.


>Rarity finds herself an opening, and lightly pounces.
>“By the way, how are you feeling dear?”
“Um, a little better.”
>”That’s good to hear. You had me a bit concerned this morning. Rainbow did say you were fine after lunch, though she may have been exaggerating.”
>The meal inside Rainbow’s mouth lodges itself into one of her cheeks.
>”Exaggerating nothing. She was fine enough to pull me with her magic.”
>”Please, you’re light as a feather.”
>”Surprisin’ givin’ how much she eats.”
>Dash swallows the wedged chunk of food which eliminates the muffling.
>”I need to get my energy back somehow. I’ve had easier times steering tornadoes.”

>Applejack’s teasing wanes and she occupies herself with the furry companion beneath her. Another blitzes in to take her spot.
>”Woah. Can you teach me to steer tornadoes?”
>”No way no how! You stay away from anything faster than a breeze, squirt. And that goes double for you.”
>Her hoof jabs directly into your face.
>That wasn’t really called for.

>Giant eyes and frown stare at Rainbow, but receive no quarter.
>”Awwww.”
>”No ‘awwww’. Promise me on your pride as a pegasus.”
>”Forever?”
>”Until I get you flying like a champ, and you can keep up with me in a race.”
>”Deal!”
>Your other neighbor chimes in without hesitation.
>”And don’t you two go thinking about trying it either. I’ll hear no nonsense about a tornado wrangling cutie mark.”
>Sweetie Belle and Applebloom’s faces both match Scootaloo’s prior disappointment.
>”But it might be our special talent.”
>”And it sounds so cool.”
>Big Mac clears his throat causing Applebloom to deflate. Without her allies Sweetie does the same.


>”It’s okay; it takes a lot of ponies to accomplish, and doesn’t happen very often. I’m positive your cutie marks are more about your individual gifts.”
>Fluttershy’s words reawaken the crusaders fire, and Applebloom is already prepared.
>”Like bein’ the fastest painters ever!”
>A shiver runs down your spine.

>”Oooohhh, that’s a great idea. You can start small with like paper, and then you can borrow my canvas, and THEN move onto something REALLY big. Say, the barn is pretty big, you could probably fit a lot of paintings on there; or you could paint the street. Nopony would mind, they’ll let you call anything art these days.”
>”Ya paint on the barn, and ya’ll be paintin’ the whole thing.”
>Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle look to Applebloom, but the threat from her sister completely washes over her without change.
>Concern thumps against your skull. The consequences…nopony realizes…it’s happening.
>Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it.
Hee “Emffasis on starting small.”

>Granny snags the last of the casserole uncontested. You were expecting her to add her own quip, but she looks content to let it ride. Big Mac is also quiet on the subject, but no surprise there.
>Rarity’s calm over the matter is surely born of ignorance. Her consideration is instead pointed at you.
>”Any news from the other princesses yet.”
“Not since yesterday.”
>”I take it the patrols haven’t found anything then?”
>You shake your head. There is no doubt that Celestia would keep you informed.
No.
>”A shame. Will you be staying in the barn again tonight?”
>”I offered ‘em the livin’ room.”
>Applejack practically spits out her food, and Big Mac pounds on his chest while trying to swallow. Applebloom’s eyes are outright saucers.


>”The livin’ room, like, the, in our home, livin’ room?”
>”Wut.”
>Sweetie and Scootaloo join in on Applebloom’s silent cheer. In fact, the entire table is caught in the action.
>Except Anonymous. It’s grabbing Pinkie’s plate and—
‘Hey.’
>You pull the stolen goods out of its grasp using your magic, and then float a quarantined part of your own onto its plate along with some bread.
>The distraction gets little notice from the main event.

>”Ain’t no other ‘round here. What’s the matter, you two are actin’ like I gave away yer beds.”
>”It can’t sleep in here. Ahpplebloom—“
>”Has her own room.”
>”But that doesn’t mean she won’t come out here alone. She’s already tried with the barn.”
>”Ah’m right here, and I wasn’t alone.”
>Applejack, Big Mac, nor Granny physically acknowledges the fourth apple. Her friends though…
>”Yes she was, right Sweetie Belle?”
>”No she wasn’t.”
>Scootaloo nudges her head in Rarity’s direction.
>”I mean, yeah, it was just her.”
>”Crusader-betrayers.”

>Rarity only casts a quick glance, but dares not speak. You certainly share that feeling with the table.
>”Twilight will be there.”
>Nuts.
>”That’s not…I mean…Big Mac, help me out here will ya.”
>”Ya coulda told us first.”
>Granny’s defense takes pause, but a very short one.
>”And distract ya further? Ya got enough change rattlin’ up there already, and I’ll be sleepin’ in my rocker anyway.”
>”But—“
>”Don’t you go on ‘bout my back now, too. I ain’t gonna go doin’ somethin’ I shouldn’t.”
>Applejack and Big Mac gaze at each other with complete focus. Your own anticipation drives you to stare at the scene; your body doing little else.
>You’re not sure if those two even recognize any of you exist at this moment.


>The exchange eventually breaks and Applejack’s tight shoulders go slack. A blast of air escapes from Big Mac’s nostrils.
>You let out your own puff, not realizing you have been holding your breath.
>”Ah suppose I don’t mind.”
>Applebloom nearly leaps into the air.
>”Then Anonymous can live with us!”
>Surprise overtakes the middle apples a second time, but Granny Smith’s steady tone steps in first.
>”Not so fast there, Applebloom. It might need or want to go somewhere else. Could happen tomorrow, could happen in a year; ya can’t know for sure with critters. We’ll let it stay the night and go from there like we’ve been doin’.”
>Each of the family members comes down from their respective state at that final sentence, and the sense of tension relieves itself with the display of normalcy.

>Double checking to make sure the coast is clear, you scan the other patrons.
>Anonymous is looking between Applebloom and Granny; crumbs adorning its face. Taking a glance at Rainbow, you see that it was a tough battle.
>A napkin attached to a pink hoof soon reaches over and scrubs Anon’s face. Anon shakes its head side to side in retaliation to the cloth.
>”Messy, messy. We’re going to have to teach you some table manners.”
>Pinkie breaks the silence, though you’re going to bite your tongue on that one.
>”And by we, I mean Rarity.”
>”What? Why me?”
>A soft voice joins the fray.
>”Well, it is kind of your thing.”
>With blood in the water, the blue shark circles the stranded swimmer.
>”You should be all for this. You love lecturing about class and,” Rainbow’s voice pitches a little, “sophistication.”
>”Well I-I-I…”
>”Yeah, sis. And maybe Anonymous will actually listen.”
>”Oh, you hush. You’re still in trouble.”
>Rarity’s raft deflects Sweetie Belle, but another combatant enters.
>”Ay think that’s a fine idea.”
“Ay’m okay with supervising.”
>And down she goes.


>Rarity’s eyes dart to each of you, and then land on Anon. Sweat and an arched brow follow her endless titter. Anon is staring right back at her.
>A sudden bump shakes the table and pulls everyone’s attention away.
>”Pardon.”
>Big Mac rises from his seat and takes his plate over to the sink. The wind dies from your sails, and the reprieve resets Rarity’s mood.
>”Well, I suppose I am the best candidate for this sort of thing. We will have to take very small steps, of course, if my progress with Rainbow Dash is to be any indication.”
>”Hey.”
>Dash feels around for the food on her face, and then wipes herself off.
>Laughter bubbles from around the table, and you can’t help but join in.
>Today was a good day.