When I Feel Doubt Creeping In...

>Lincoln wakes with a yawn, followed by a slow stretch and a smack of his lips.
>Scratching his side, he takes a groggy peek at his clock.
>Then does a double take.
>9:44?
>No, that can't be right.
>One of his sisters would have barged in.
>That or one of the older sisters would be causing a ruckus.
>Lori and Leni fighting.
>Or Luan pranking Leni.
>Or Leni falling down the stairs.
>He narrows his eyes as he slips out of bed.
>Something's missing...
>He presses his ear against his door, listening for anything.
>He can hear...something, coming from downstairs.
>But that's not it.
>There's something that feels...wrong.
>Slowly opening the door, he creeps out and makes his way downstairs.
>His sisters are crowded around the kitchen door, whispering to each other.
>They shush him when he steps on a creaky board, glaring at him as he quietly reaches the floor.
>"What's wrong?" he quietly whispers, trying to peek into the kitchen through the crowd.
>"It's Luna."

>Lincoln swallows, feeling a small knot form in his gut.
>He forgot about Luna.
>If all else fails, her music always wakes him up.
>But she's been quiet, these last few days.
>Luan claims she just lays on her bunk, thinking.
>And thinking.
>And thinking still, throughout the day.
>Staring at the ceiling.
>Ignoring everything, and everyone.
>"Did Luna say anything this morning?" Lori whispers, eyeing the comedienne to her side.
>Luan shakes her head, her perky ponytail flicking in Lana's face.
>"No," she answers, "I didn't even know she was out of bed until she left the bathroom."
>"And you haven't had a fight with her over anything?" her older sister pushes, a hint of suspicion in her voice.
>Again, Luan shakes her head, but now glares at the bigger girl.
>Lana glares up at her as well, the second time she got a tail to the face.
>"I don't know what's going on. She hasn't said a word to me since..."
>She pauses to count on her fingers.
>"...Tuesday. I mean, she might have lost her voice. The fat lady...um, she, uh..."
>Rolling her eyes, Luan simply shrugs.
>"I got nothing."
>"Is she Ok?" Lincoln asks, louder now, ignoring the shushing to try and push through.
>"Lemme see. Is Luna Ok?"
>"Lincoln!" Lori snaps quietly, trying to pull rank on the rowdy boy, "Be quiet, you don't know what's w-"
>Normally, Lincoln would heed his older sister's advice.
>She knows more about these things, after all.
>But after that fight she had with Leni, and how his privacy was constantly violated, he has no patience for more of his sisters' antics.

>"Luna!" Lincoln suddenly calls out, roughly shoving through the pack of his sisters.
>"Lincoln!" Lori snaps, grabbing him by the arm, "stay here!"
>"Let go!" he growls, wresting his hand free, the inertia pushing him past a still-sleepy Leni.
>Stumbling through the doorway, Lincoln quickly rights himself.
>His sisters quickly clam up.
>They know he's screwed.
>So now they watch.
>The younger ones especially.
>To learn from his mistakes and iniquity.
>Lincoln scoffs at the cowards, settling his gaze on the back door, slowly sweeping across.
>Scanning for his big si-
>Oh.
>There she is.
>Sitting at the table, eating breakfast.
>She looks...Ok.
>They look at each other, in silence.
>Guess there's no point in not trying.
>Here goes.
>"Luna?" he asks softly, taking a soft step closer.
>Something's off about her.
>She quietly watches him approach, taking a sip of her juice.
>Seeing she hasn't shouted at him, or thrown something, he feels safe enough to push on.

>Another itty bitty little step.
>Another terrified thump in his heart.
>Maybe he should have listened to Lori.
>"Is everything...Ok?" he continues, mentally bracing for a mug to the noggin.
>But Luna doesn't say anything, still, now nibbling on a piece of bacon.
>Struggling to control his breathing, Lincoln quickly finds himself at the table.
>Despite his courageously cowardly efforts.
>"...Did you lose your voice again?" he inquires, slowly pulling out a chair beside her.
>She pauses in her chewing, her eyes are locked onto his.
>Then she shakes her head, still ever silent, reaching for her glass again.
>Then it clicks with him.
>She's not dressed normally.
>Instead of her usual outfit; skirt, purple shirt, belt.
>Heck, not even her bedtime outfit of just a loose shirt and her underwear.
>It's a...dress.
>She's wearing a faded, lavender dress.
>His eyes flick up, meeting her eyes again.
>Her cheeks start to redden, noticing that her brother is catching on.
>But his eyes wander higher.
>To her hair.
>No.
>Not hair.
>A wig.
>One of her performance wigs, clearly repurposed.
>It used to be part of her hair metal routine, but instead of splaying everywhere like some kind of bush, it...
>It's been combed down.
>Cleaned up, brought under control.
>Meticulously shaped to look like a full, waist-length head of soft, brown hair.
>He remembers something she told him, once.
>Back at that Smooch concert.
>She dressed like this, before she went to hers.

>"Luna?" he asks again, reaching over to gently rest his hand on hers.
>She quietly swallows the toast she has in her mouth.
>"Yes...Lincoln?" she answers quietly, softly.
>The knot in his stomach painfully tightens.
>But he pushes past it.
>He swallows the bile on his tongue.
>"Did...you've been quiet...for a while," he says, slowly, carefuly.
>Knowing wrong word risks a fork in his thigh.
>Or worse.
>"...I have," Luna answers, nodding.
>More silence.
>Painfully loud silence.
>Lincoln takes a deep breath.
>Now or never.
>"What's going..." he pauses, considering his question's path. "Did something happen?"
>Luna doesn't answer him, at first.
>She takes a sip of her juice, finishing the last bit in her glass.
>Then she looks out the window, as if observing the birds on the tree.
>But Lincoln can see her face twitching.
>Feel the slight tremor in her hand.
>The clear struggle on her face as she fights to control her emotions.
>She turns back to him, and he sees the tears.
>Slipping down her somehow now-delicate features.
>"...Mick Swagger..." she starts, pausing to sniffle.
>Oh no.

>"He...passed away last w-week," she continues, sniffling louder again.
>"He was shot."
>Her lips starting to draw back into a grimace.
>"I don't know what to t-" she stops short, interrupted by the loud sob coming out, barreling through her train of thought.
>Lincoln can feel her hand start to shake.
>"I don't know what to do..." she whispers, hot tears now pouring freely from her eyes.
>Lincoln remains silent, knowing that the best course for now is to let her ride it out.
>Luna slips out of her chair, falling solidly on her calves as she desperately clutches at her brother's jammies.
>Burying her face in his tummy, Lincoln feels more than hears her next words.
>Before she starts fully sobbing.
>"I'm lost, Lincoln..."
>She wails in his lap, pitifully soaking his shirt as her grief finally becomes too much.
>All he's able to really to is try to weather it out.
>Petting her hair, squeezing her shoulders in a haphazard hug.
>Quietly noting that none of his sisters have stepped foot into the kitchen yet.
>Lincoln feels a twinge of bitterness somewhere, deep inside himself.
>Not even Lori.
>But he pushes that aside.
>Luna needs him now.
>His sister needs him.
>And through her blubbering, he starts to see the picture.
>The moment she learned her idol, her hero died, she finds herself suddenly alone.
>Realizing that only a couple of her friends saw him nearly as reverently as she did.
>Even Chunk wasn't even as rocked as she was.
>And that's when doubt started creeping in.
>And from that doubt, came the self-reflection.
>And from that, grew one question.
>A simple, terrifying question.
>"Was I wrong?" she whimpers, choking back tears to gaze up at her brother.
>"About what?" he asks, glancing down at her.
>wiping the streaks off her rosy cheek,
>"Everything," she answers, her eyes widening.
>Becoming frantic.
>"The music, the dream, all of it," she continues, almost ranting now.
>Her eyes meet his again.
>Desperate.
>Begging for an answer.
>"Was I wrong?"