Day 9

Day 9

"Where the fuck's my truck!"
>Indeed it was not there
>"Where's your truck dude?"
"This isn't funny!"
>"I-I wasn't trying to be funny."
>Rainbow looked as if she might tear up
>Sighing you begin your apology
"Sorry it's just that sounded like something from this movie i saw. It was a comedy, about a guy who lost his car. Except it isn't funny in real life, especially when it happens to me."
>You were standing outside your building well in view of your apartment
>The girls could both see and hear you
>All you could see was bare pavement and a fresh oil slick
>You kicked the light pole next to you
"Fuck!"
>"Can't you just get another one?"
>Damn it Rainbow, you're making it difficult to love you right now
"Those things cost a shit load of money and I..."
>Actually you could totally afford another cheaper car, but that wasn't the point
>The money in your pocket had to last you a while
>Instinctively tapping your pocket you fail to find the familiar bulge
>You tap it again in confusion, then the other in desperation
>Nothing
>Your keys were missing too
>Come to think of it you hadn't seen Gilda at the breakfast table either
"Son of a bitch!"
>"What is it anon?"
"Fucking Gilda! She took off with my ride AND my money! Shit!"
>You started pacing
>"You really think so?"
"Of course I do but...how? She can't drive can she?"
>"Pfft! How should i know, we haven't talked since i kicked her out of Ponyville."
>You shake your head
>What the hell would she want with your wheels?
>It doesn't take long before you remember her words from yesterday
~
>"His cousin drowned...I'll make sure he brings it back."
~
>Damn it, this was partly your own fault
>But could she really make that bastard bring it back?
>"Anon? How are we gonna get to school?"
>You hardly pay attention staring down the street
>'I need you back in one piece Gilda.'

---

>Meanwhile on the lower east side
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBrTWvYKTZY
>After all the ugliness Gilda was relieved to be in a familiar environment
>Cold concrete slabs surrounded by punks and delinquents
>She had almost regretted her decision when she met his extended family
>Everyone was sad and quiet
>A few of them though took a break from their despair to stare at her
>Some even whispered behind her back
>Under any other circumstance she would've given them a piece of her mind
>But she couldn't could she?
>She just had to grin and bear it
>After a very awkward breakfast where she had to sit in a high chair, because there weren't any more, she was dragged to temple to hold a memorial service in honor of their poor little shmooly
>Gilda almost laughed the first time she heard the name
>If she hadn't offered to help pay for the funeral costs they probably would've resented her
>At first they denied her to be polite, or maybe because they were tring to snub her
>But as soon as she flashed that green they started changing their tune
>They still didn't accept her money but she did get some really good investment advice from a few of the older gentleman
>Not that it mattered much since she couldn't understand a word they were saying
>It was all Nasdaq this and CD's that with 10% dividends in stock portfolio's
>They could've just said no
>"Hey don't forget, burgers and fries are on me."
>Ricky turned around and smiled
>"A lot of things are gonna be on you today, my little Shiksa."
>"Why do you keep calling me that?"
>"Relax sweets it just mean you're not one of "us" y'know?"
>Gilda took offense
>"One of you? I got more guts in one pinky than you do in your whole body loser."
>"Relax girl don't go full Meschugena. I'm just saying you're not a jew like us."
>Scotty parted his green bangs to speak up
>"Hey are we gonna chill or what? Josh is starting to get sober."
>Ricky nodded
>"Well looks like it's up to our Shiksa here. Are you ready to chill or do you want to commit a hate crime?"
>Gilda thought it over and figured he wasn't worth it
>"Forget it, let's just find somewhere we can watch the skaters."
>Ricky clapped his hands once and led Gilda by the small of her back
>"That's what i'm talking about. C'mon, i can see my connection on the other side of the pool. Green's on you right?"

---

>It was a chore getting to school, especially with Rainbow Dash latched onto your arm
>You had just enough change to catch the bus
>Then it was just a simple 10 blocks to campus
>On the way you ran into one of the breeders from the laundromat
>She said something in spanish you didn't understand but it was apparent she was teasing you and Rainbow
>It was a little embarassing, but just a bit, it was worth it for her
>Finally making it through the double doors you're greeted with a familiar yet not so welcome site
>Two large gray metal detectors stood before you and a line of students
>The security guards seemed just as enthusiastic as the students
>"Backpacks and belts on the table, take out your phones, you know what to do."
>"Anon?"
"It's a check to make sure we aren't carrying any weapons."
>"Huh?"
"Oh you still have so much to learn about the human world."
>One of the female guards pointed her out
>"Next, c'mon sweetheart you can see your boyfriend later. Let's go."
>You encourage her to let go and fall into line yourself
>Not being part of the seedy underbelly of the city's youth she passed with flying colors
>They didn't even pass the wand over her
>You on the other hand
"DOOOOOOT!!"
"Ah, crap."
>A security guard blocks your path and instructs you to lift up your arms
>"You take your belt off?"
"Don't have one."
>"Lift up your shirt."
>You do as he says and even beat him to punch by spinning around
>Rainbow is off to the side watching in suspense
>A scrawny figure materializes beside her
>"Is Senpai in trouble?"
>"Waah! Who are you kid? Who's Sen-pie?"
>"Hi! My name is Trevor!"
>Trevor extends his hand in an awkward angle
>Rainbow grips it with hers and he shakes it like a dead fish
>"I'm Anon San's Kouhai"
>"His what?"
>"Oh, you're a westerner. I'm his underclassmen."
>"Yeah, okay."
>The guard waves the wand around your arms without incident
BEEEEEP BEEEEEEP
>"What's in your pocket?"
"Huh?"
>Rainbow freezes up, Trevor trains his eyes on you
>The guard taps your pocket with the wand and hits something hard
>Another guard with a stern look joins him
>"Pull it out"
>Not exactly sure about what the hell is happening you reach into your pocket
>You feel it and curse yourself for being an idiot
>Clutching the pocket knife tightly you drop it ont he desk with a defeated look
>"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Dude I-"
>"Don't dude me!"
"Fine. But seriously i forgot all about that knife, it's been a really long week for me."
>The guard takes a look at the bruises on your face, fat lip, and the bandages in your hands
>"What the hell happened?"
"Look i got jumped, it was like four against one."
>You shrug and the second officer steps forward
>"Keep'em up."
>The cop starts patting you down and you wince when he taps your ribs
>It was from the seatbelt yesterday but he didn't need to know
"Aah! The guy had boots."
>The cop looked to the guard and nodded
>"Alright, you can go, but we're keeping the knife. Just stay out of trouble."
"Yeah, thanks."
>Ouch, though
>You clutch your ribs for theatrical effect but not entirely
>"Anonymous-San! Are you alright? Were you hurt badly? I should've been there."
>Ick, this kid again
>You pushed him back
"Relax buddy, you couldnt've done anything anyway."
>"Anon did Gilda do this to you?"
"No, but it was kinda her fault."
>"Why didn't you say anything yesterday?"
"Because y'know, it's not that big a deal, and you had finally started talking to me again, and you started cuddling me right away, and you wouldn't let me say anything because you just wanted to enjoy our 'alone time'."
>"Oh, heh. Right."
>"Gee Senpai. How come your mom let's you have TWO girlfriends!"
>His voice rang out in true spergy manner
>Even the cop turned to look at you
>A couple of the students you recognized from the day before expressed shock and awe
"For God's sake Trevor use your indoor voice already."
>You grab a confused Rainbow's hand and lead her away
>"Let's find someplace else to talk about this."


>Dragging Rainbow Dash behind a pillar you start laying it all out
"Alright, here's what happened. Yesterday me and Gilda had to stick together for reasons."
>"What kind of reasons?"
"Well, for one i had to keep an eye on her."
>Rainbow raised an eyebrow
"And she also may have saved my ass from Biff. Again."
>"Again?"
>You point at the faded green bruise under your right eye
"This one's from him. The new ones are from some punks i ran into, and if Gilda hadn't been there i would've ended up worse."
>She seemed to buy it
>"Alright, then what's all this talk about TWO girlfriends?"
"Argh, that's just Trevor being a retard."
>"Senpai that's mean."
>You jitter as he comes into focus
"Holy Shit! What are you doing here!?"
>"I just wanted to hear your side of the story. But it's okay if you don't want me around."
>Trevor lowered his head and sniffed a bit
>God damn your caring nature
"Look Trevor, this is a private thing alright? Between me and...her. You want to be useful, go get my breakfast and save a spot for us. Like a good Kouhai."
>Trevor lit up instantly
>"S-Sure thing Anon-San!"
>He took a step back and gave you the deepest bow before taking off
>Rainbow didn't look too happy though
>"Her? What now you can't even say my name?"
>You caught her before she stormed off
"No listen, don't flake on me again. I just have to be careful around people like Trevor."
>"Why? Huh? Is it because he'll figure out who i am?"
"Yes. Exactly, we have to be careful. Alright? Look the other day when we were leaving school some fags recognized Gilda somehow and tried to follow us. Someone like Trevor would the same and worse tell others as well. Kid can't keep a secret to save his life."
>"Fine. But TWO girlfriends?"
"That one recquires a bit of explanation, long story short I sort of had to help Gilda out of a bind. I owed after saving my ass twice from Biff after all."
>There was a clatter from the cafeteria and some shouting
>Looking over you see Trevor being bullied
>A normal site for sure, except the one doing the bullying was none other than Biff
>His face didn't have bruises but had been welted pretty heavily
>He almost looked like a massive ogre, almost
>Biff's quarterback good looks seeped through the lumps
>He looked like a giant next to the poor kid
>Nobody paid any attention when he lifted Trevor over his head and threw him in the trash
>Trevor had a pained look on his face and you made eye contact by mistake
>You knew you couldn't stay out of it now
"Hang on a second."
>You flex your fist hoping you could at least throw one punch before being walloped
>One of his cronies spotted you walking past the doors
>Making a beeline for the herd of steers draws more attention than you thought it would
>A congress of blacks started laughing and pointing in your direction
>They weren't necessarily making fun of you, they just knew a beatdown was coming
>Stopping short of the group Biff came out to greet you
"Feel like a big man Biff?"
>"Big? Big mistake asshole. I'm sending you to the hospital this time."
>Biff took a swing at you but after seeing it so many times you saw it coming
>You duck to the left and punch his kidney
>It was too bad you never got any further with him before otherwise you would've seen his backhand too
>He literally bitchslaps into the floor and sends you sliding against Trevor's trash can
>Not even bothering to get out of the trash Trevor starts encouraging you
>"Come on Senpai! You can do it! I believe in you!"
>Biff makes his way over to you just as you get back on your feet
>You wipe a sliver of blood from your lip
>"HEY!"
>You watch in horror as Rainbow Dash starts marching towards him
>Her face was twisted with rage to all hell
>"Stay out of this toots."
>"THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!"
>Rainbow reached up and punched him square in the nose
>The giant dick was sent tumbling down before half the school
>Blood ran profusely down his chin and onto his shirt and letterman's jacket
>Tears too, she hit him so hard he started crying
>Naturally the blacks jumped all over this
>"OOOOHHHHH!!!! NON'S GIRL SAVAGE!!!! THAT NIGGA GOT PUT DOWN!!! OOOOHHHHH!!!!"
>Once the blacks started the rest of them joined in the uproar
>Some of the other football players tried to step to you but they were blocked by your new posse
>"Nope. Nope. Nope. Take yo boy home he bleedin'. Nope."
>As you helped Trevore out of the garbage they started coming to you and Rainbow
>It was yesterday's Biology class all over again
>Except this time the girls pretended to be afraid of Rainbow
>"Nuh-uh don't step to her man! This gurl beat yo ass! Mm-Hmm!"
>The commotion drew the attention of the cops in the entrance hall
>One of them spotted you
>"What did i say!"
>He started for you but you took advantage of the crowd
>Grabbing Rainbow's hand again you dive into them and reach for a tray
>You unleash your plan by tossing it into the air
>It didn't matter where it went or who it hit
>All that mattered was that someone else throw food
>You heard someone shout something before a carton of milk flew through the air
>Within seconds everyone else started reaching for their food and tossing it
>Ducking, dodging, pushing, and shoving you showed your love by leading Rainbow to safety




>You don't stop moving until you make it to your first class in the school's basement
>Drafting wasn't much fun, but all you did was fiddle around with protractors and pencils
>Even though breakfast hadn't let out yet some of the more diligent students were already working on their midterm projects
>Some of them had borrowed tools from Shop class to build a trebuchet in the back
>The teacher was helping them assemble the weight supports
>It wasn't professor Birch helping them though, it was a sub
>Breathing a sigh of relief you sit yourself down by a computer with Rainbow at your side
"Phew, that was close."
>You feel your hand being squeezed
>Rainbow looks at you intently and squeezes harder
>You feel an understanding grow between you without exchanging words
>That was that YOU were HER boyfriend
>No if's, and's, or but's
>"Senpai...SUGOI!!!"
>The students in the back took note of your presence
>You failed to notice Trevor had tagged along
>"Hai! You weren't afraid or nothing! You just walked right up to that big dumb bully and KA-POW!!"
>Trevor punched the air fervently
>One of the students dropped a weight on his foot
>He cursed loud enough for the teacher to scold him
>The student scolded him back
"Trevor why the hell are you here?"
>"What do you mean Senpai? We have this class together remember?"
"Oh. Right."
>"I don't normally gush this much Senpai, but can i have your autograph?"
>Trevor pulled out a pen and a pad of paper
>And handed them to Rainbow
>"Huh?"
>Trevor held them straight out at her, unmoving
>"Please give me your autograph Senpai!"
>Rainbow was blindsighted she tried looking to you for help, but you were just as confused
"Um, Trevor. Surely you must want my autograph instead. R-Right?"
>"Why would i want your autograph Anon-San? You didn't do anything."
>[Glass breaking internally].wav
>"But you're girlfriend knocked him the heck out!"
>Rainbow was surprised to say the least at his sudden outburst
>Still as with any inflated sense of pride she quickly recovered
>Letting go of your hand she grabbed the pen and paper from him and with a huge grin plastered on her face she gladly signed her name
>At least she tried
>Lines and squiggles adorned the paper
>Apparently Twilight made an attempt, or an attempt at an attempt
>Trevor had trouble putting the name together
>"R...Ra...Raahh?"
>You felt a pang of panic stab your chest
"Ro-Robin! Her name's Robin, yeah."
>"Oh, comenasai Senpai. I'm afraid i can't really read your writing."
>Trevor bows deeply in front of her
>Her arrogance gets the best of her once again
>"Don't worry about it kid, I'm not a real egghead about writing anyway. You just make sure to stick with us..."
>'NNNOOOOOO!'
>"...I'll make sure that bully doesn't bother you anymore."
>Trevor lit up once again
>"Arigato Gosizemazoo Robin-Sama!"
>'Damn it Rainbow'
"Hey, wait. How come she's Robin-Sama, but I'm only Anon-San?"
>"Because you didn't beat up Biff Billington Anon-Kun."
"Kun? Really?"
>"Don't feel so bad Anon-Kun, at least you have your girlfriends to keep you safe!"
>Rainbow squeezed your hand again, harder this time
>Too hard
>She had a crazed look in her eye
>No words needed
>"Oh, I almost forgot. Do you still have my phone Anon-Kun?"


****

>"Oh, right."
>Just as you're handing him the phone one of your newest melanin enriched compadres bursts through the classrooms double doors
>"Yo Anon! Nigga you still here!"
"What?"
>"Nigga they comin' fo' you!"
"Who!?"
>"DA COPS FOO! YOU NEED TO GET YO GREEN ASS OUTTA HERE LIKE QUICKLY!"
"Ah shit!"
>Rainbow became alarmed as you sprinted for the door
>"Anon, where are you going?"
>Your sneakers squeak as you turn back around and yank her out of the chair
>"DAS RIGHT NIGGUH! TAKE YO BITCH TOO CAUSE THEY LOOKIN FOR HER TOO!"
>"What?"
>"RUN! BITCH! RUN!"
>He manages to scream before a cop tackles him to the ground
>"Ah shit they got me son!"
>You heard Jamal squawk like a pigeon caught in a bug zapper as you rounded the corner
>God bless you gentle moor
>"Hands up don't shoot!"
>"STOP RESISTING!"
>"KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA!"
>A stupid grin spread across your face as you dove out the exit at the end of the hall
>Meanwhile Trevor was watching the whole thing go down
>Only after Jamal screamed the BLM slogan did it occur to him that he still had his cell phone in hand
>A few taps later and he was turning Jamal into a surefire internet sensation
>Jamal, who had been down this road before, turned his face to the camera
>"Hey, make sure you get my good side on camera."
>He pursed his lips into a duckface only to have them punched back into place by a hefty white fist
>"Ow! My good side!"
>Another cop soon showed up behind him and started subduing the unruly suspect who was resisting arrest
>"Stay down you fucking nigger!"
>"Props to my mom!"
>Trevor was shaking in his orthopedics
>"I am going to make so much money. I bet i get like a million dollars from Clover 4 news."
>The first police officer finally noticed the skinny little fuck as three more officers jumped on the obviously intoxicated drug dealer
>Reaching forward the cop swiped his phone before he could react
>The cop took one look at his Naruto headband, Dragonball t-shirt, and sick ass custom Sailor Moon Sneakers
>"You're obstructing justice you little cheese nip."
>"N-n-no I'm not."
>The guys in the back continued to ignore the disturbance
>The cop pocketed his cell
>"You're coming with me boy."

>"420, blaze it bitch."
>Gilda stared down at the crudely made blunt Ricky was offering up
>Next to him stood the blackest motherfucker she had ever seen
>If he weren't wearing a white sweater she might've mistaken him for Ricky's shadow
>Black ass motherfucker
>She looked back down at the blunt questioningly
>"What's the matter dollface? Darkness here has always given me the best kush."
>Ricky gave her a sly smile and waved it in front of her again
>"Come on, don't be scared, it's not gonna hurt you."
>Gilda caught a whiff of the ganja rolled inside the butchered black n mild wrapping paper
>It was a very earthy smell that was mixed in with a sickly sweet aroma
>Gilda could feel a cough building up when she swiped it from his had
>"Y-ya think I'm scared of a little smoke?"
>Gilda placed the blunt in her mouth and felt a familiar tangy burn on her lips
>Ricky's smile turned mischievous as he flicked on his lighter
>"Good girl, after this we'll hit up my spot and chill for a bit. I just got the new Gorillaz album we can jam out to."
>She flicked a strand of hair off her face as she leaned in to Ricky's open flame
>"We'll find somewhere to ditch these other losers."
>Gilda watched the dancing light creep closer when a hand came into view and closed in front of her
"No."
>She leaned back surprised by your sudden entrance as you took the death stick and offered it back up to the drug dealer
>"No refunds."
>"Aww, I'll take that sport."
>Before he could even reach for your hand you palm it and grind the cigarette into damp useless clumps
>You let them fall to the ground in front of him
>"Anon, what the hell are you doing here?"
>Rainbow came up behind you nearly out of breath
>"He...he came here with me!"
>Ricky step forward with murder in his eyes only to be met with Rainbow's own magenta glare
>A momentary staredown took place before Ricky took the opportunity to humiliate you again
>"Hiding behind your sister ain't gonna save ya from an asswhoopin' little anon. Step aside sweetheart."
>He put his hand on her shoulder and tried to sweep her aside but Rainbow refused to budge an inch
>"I'm his girlfriend pal, and if you want him you're gonna have to go through me."
>She drew to full height and shoved him back
>A little more perturbed than shocked Ricky took a moment to process the situation
>Big Smoke EZ just laughed and blazed his own loosy as he watched it all go down
>"You gonna let a bitch just push you around like that white boy?"
>"Shut up Smoky. See my mom raised me right, taught me never to hit a girl, but that's okay now cause i got my own bad bitch."
>He pointed at Gilda
>"What do you say Gil, I take on jolly green faggot and you take care of little miss hot shit over here."
>Gilda and Rainbow shared a glance and immediately turned away from each other
>"Hmph, forget it. If you want to throw down you're on your own."
>Ricky seemed to take a moment to think about it
>In the time it took Smoke EZ to take a puff he pushed his way past Rainbow and was on top of you
>Your head whipped back against empty air being tackled to the lip of a drop
>In the same instant an oblivious skater took to the sky above both of you and bailed at the last second
>Ricky tried to knock your lights out but a quick shake of your head afforded you the advantage as his fist whizzed by
>You wrapped your arms around him and tumbled backwards over the lip
>Sliding partway down you find you footing and prepare for the next attack
>Ricky was quick to get on his feet as well
>He came up suddenly to tackle you a second time but you stopped him short with a quick kick to the gut
>Your aim was slightly off
>Coughing he reeled back smiling sadistically
>"So you think you can take me?"
>Rainbow tried to run down a ramp after you only to be stopped by Gilda
>Even if they weren't on speaking terms Rainbow looked into her eyes to plead her way through
>Gilda refused and eventually she reluctantly stepped back
>Down below Ricky put up his fists and started strafing while some of the bolder skaters circled you like buzzards inadvertantly cordening you into a makeshift arena
>Some of the delinquents around the tops of the half pipe were chanting for a fight and drawing a larger crowd
>In the time it took you and Ricky to trade a few jabs there seemed to be be at least fifty people around you
>Girlfriends 1 and 2 included
>You had your hands raised up to eye level and your head bent low
>Ricky seemed to have learned a few moves from somewhere so you did your best to dodge and parry as many shots as you could to read him
>All previous fighting experience you had meant diddly squat against a studied opponent
>Lucky you had gotten curious and searched up a few boxing videos of your own
>One thing you knew for certain was that it took more energy to hit and miss than to hit and connect
>So that was the strategy at this point, tire this bastard out before going in for the kill
>Ricky being the wild man that he was caught on to your tricks and started berating you again
>He often backed off enough to turn his back to you and beckon the crowd to call you a pussy
>"What's the matter afraid to take a punch like a 'real' man?"
>His laugh was shrill and annoying
>It was enough to get your blood boiling
>A glimpse at the crowd and RD was enough to set you over the edge
>Rainbow Dash believed in you, why couldn't you believe in yourself?
>A fist to the right of the cranium was why
>You managed to dodge his hook but only just, he still connected with you enough to disorient you and follow up with a succesful jab
>His uppercut grazed your cheek and you let loose on his ribs and stomach
>You stepped back as he tried to backhand you and caught his nose
>Watching the blood drip felt satisfying though you had barely touched him
>He bled easy but that didn't mean he was weak, if anything you had only made him madder
>A sentiment that was easy to replicate when his friends started throwing half empty beer cans at you
>Some of the older crowd shoved the back and talked of fair play as Ricky took advantage of your distraction and ran into you again
>You managed to keep your head tucked this time and tried to roll over on the ground but Ricky had you pinned
>Trying to keep from getting murdered you took him in a bear hug and tried to squeeze him good as he lay into you
>He could only hit the top of your head and your back though which didn't hurt much
>Taking advantage of the breather you formulate a plan to headbutt him and push him off
>You let go and instantly regret as he pushes you down and started strangling you
>This nigga was playing for keeps
>As you lay there gasping for breath your eyes flicker back and forth watching the crowd of people looking concerned and disgusted
>'Sure but will any of you step up and HELP ME!"
>Your hands find his mouth and go inside
>Ricky tried to shake your hands off and his grip loosened
>You kept at it, trying to get a grip so you could do the King Kong mouth split trick you saw that one time
>Soon enough he let go to pull your hands out of his mouth
>"The fuck is wrong with you kid!"
>Finally free you sit up push him off to one side
>As you stand back up you turn around and send a roundhouse kick straight into his face
>Ricky flew back a few feet and landed on his back
>The crowd cheered and somewhere "Ready to Die" started playing on computer speakers
>If he was going to play hard then so were you
>You had to admit all those cheers felt good and you felt like you finally threw down your opponent
>Affording yourself another look to the stands you searched for Rainbow and Gilda
>Instead you found another much bulkier form that overshadowed Big Smoke EZ Piddy Diddy and some change
>The girls were next to him looking distressed, one of them was pointing at some-
"SHIT!"
>You scream out as you threw yourself to one side in time to duck out of danger
>Slamming into the concrete aggravated your seatbelt injury and knocked the air out of your lungs
>Ricky stood over you with switchblade in hand
>"You think you're so tough huh!"
>Instinctively you reach for your own knife only to find an empty pocket
>Fucking school security
>You started doing the crab shuffle as he started creeping
>Ricky smiled maniacally, staring you down with the dilated pupils of a madman
>You just now noticed his low nasal bridge
>It would take a miracle to safe you now
>And it did
>Manifesting itself in the form of a skateboard to the face
>Your own personal Deus Ex came by the hands of Toni, your friendly neighborhood drug dealer
>Ricky was sent back to the ground by the force of the skateboard in his hands
>He tossed the skateboard back over his shoulder before he bent over to pick something up off the ground
>"Get your asses homes before I call all your parents!"
>Toni extended his hand to you to the protest of the crowd
>He gets you to your feet and dusts you off
>You eye the unconscious Dr. Phil success story on the floor and tap Toni's shoulder
"Shit, uh, thanks dude. You saved my fucking life."
>"Don't mention it. Seriously Brad's riding my ass enough already."
>You didn't know how to respond to that
"I don't know how to respond to that."
>He pulls you in close enough you can smell a sour fetid stench coming off his breath
>"Just don't forget you owe me one."
>Someone screamed in the crowd and you both turn to look
>Big Smoke EZ Makalevi Snoopy Dre Cubicle is down on the ground with Brad standing over him triumphantly
>Rainbow was in Gilda's protective grasp
>Though as soon as they realized it they instantly let go and brushed themselves off
>"Oh, great. He's a hero now too. Now I'm really in for it."
---
>"You're in for it now young lady."
>Brad looked down at a seemingly defenseless Gilda
>Her rough exterior stripped away by his disappointing glare
>Rainbow was standing beside you as you inspected your truck
>Toni behind the wheel was waiting for your go-ahead to start it up
>Gilda scared you when she said the truck had died two blocks from the skatepark
>As it turned out that nasty fender bender you were in just knocked a battery cable loose
>You heard Brad going over the typical scolding order
>"...you  could've been killed, or kidnapped, or even raped! And furthermore you practically ruined our only car!"
>You close the hood and walk up to Toni discreetly
"Did he just say our?"
>"Well duh. You're our driver remember?"
"When the hell did that happen?"
>"Since he asked you to."
"I'm sorry, asked? And i thought we were in a hurry, why is he still yelling at Gilda?"
>Toni took one look at the early morning bitch and sucked his teeth
>"You're worried about that bitch?"
>Rainbow surprisingly chimed in
>"Yeah, if you asked me she deserves it."
"Rainbow?"
>Toni smiled and stuck his hand out
>"Hey, i don't think we've met. I'm Toni. That's Toni with an i."
>"Rainbow Dash."
>She shook his hand firmly
>"Whoa, strong girl. So, uh, Rainbow Dash? Is that your stage name? What are you into roller derby?"
>You were just about to run interference when you notice Gilda cast you a pitiful glance, just out of the corner of her eye
>She immediately tried to cover by trying to go on the offensive but then
>"Oh, and I just KNOW, YOU are not trying to talk back to ME! Little girl, i will be the father you never had!"
"Hey, Brad, c'mon. Lay off her already."
>"Oh, I'm sorry I thought I was on your side."
"It's just...look wherever we're going we're gonna be late, and besides cops are probably looking for me too."
>"Oh? They are? What did you do?"
>Before he went off on you, you hinted with your eyes that Rainbow was involved
"I got into some trouble at school and there were cops around, but look Gilda knows she did wrong and she's sorry."
>You motioned in her direction
>"She may not want to say it but she is. Look we're teenagers, you have to expect us to screw up eventually."
>Brad tried to give you the thousand yard stare but something seemed to have clicked with that last line
>He took a deep breath and rubbed the sweat off his forehead before looking back down at the mopey delinquent trying to put on a brave face
>"Just get in the backseat we're late enough already."
>Gilda followed her orders without a word and was in the back before you could move
>"And YOU young lady."
>"What did I do?"
>"Nothing yet but something tells me you're not as innocent as that precious little face of yours. Don't follow your friend's example. Okay?"
>"Uh, yes sir."
>"Good, now let Toni climb in the back first so you two and her don't argue all the way."
>Toni threw his hands up in the air
>"What the hell? I thought i was driving?"
>"Not snowball's chance in hell. You already ruined two cars and a motorcycle, Anon's driving, besides it's his car."
>"I thought it was 'our' car?"
>Brad wagged his finger between you and him
>"Ours, not yours."
>Toni started cussing under his breath
>"this is bullshit, fucking bitch, stupid skater punks, fucking faggots..."
>"What was that?"
>Toni stopped muttering
>"That's what i thought, now Anon get in the car we need to get going."
"Where to mac?"
>"Just drive along the highway until i tell you stop, we still have twenty minutes."
"I thought you said we we're late?"
>"Yea, we were late, now we have to wait until he gets off break."


>Ten minutes later you're cruising at highway speeds as you circle the city
>Windows down 'cause it's summer fuck you
>The lunch rush was just getting underway and there were many impatient drivers on the road
>Not wanting to attract any unwanted attention you stick to the courtesy lane and hold it steady
>Some of the smarter drivers took fast lanes if they came up on you
>Others would take their time getting good and pissed off before they whizzed past you
>Some honked their horns hoping you'd get the hint
>Others were more blunt as they flipped you the bird down the road
>"Oh, hang a left here we're supposed to take this exit."
>You do as you're told and in a moment of clumsiness forget to check your mirrors
>Suddenly you spot a white mustang pulling up short of your rear bumper in your rearview
>He honked his horn too and you were pretty sure you saw his lips moving
>"Well, shit. Sorry." You thought to yourself and wave your hand out the window to apologize
>Youdunitnow.boi
>"No, all the way to the left anon."
>You do as you're told again and inadvertantly cut off the same driver
>HONK! HONK! HONK!
>Oh boy, he sure is mad now
>Not much to do now except step on it to catch up to everyone else around you
>"You'll need to get off on exit 1-"
>"HEY FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!"
>You nearly jump as the screaming idiot pulled up right next to you
>There was hardly a foot of empty air between you two
>"YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!CUNT MOTHERFUCKER!!!"
>"Ignore him Anon, just-"
>"SHIT FACED WHORE!!"
>"Excuse me Anon."
>Brad had just about enough of his shit and reached across you to flip him off
>"OH YEAH FUCK YOU TOO!!!ASSHOLE!!!FUCKING FAGGOT MOTHERFUCKER!!!"
>Besides you Brad did the last thing you were expecting him to do
>He reached down into his pants
>"FUCKING PULL OVER AND DO SOME-!!!"
>Whatever the douche in the next lane over said next was lost to you as Brad stretched his arm again
>The sound of tires squealing never sounded so clearly or faded so rapidly as they did right then
>When brought his arm back to his lap you saw him holding a large pistol
>Truth be told you weren't the least bit shocked
>"Hang a left right here Anon, that's the exit."
"Ok."
>"Now you're gonna take a left again and we're just going to the gas station. You can fill up there for free."
>"For free?"
>"Yeah, I'm just going to talk to someone who owes me some money. Shouldn't take too long."
>Holy Hell, were just about to aid and abet a gas station robbery?
>As soon as you pull into the station Toni pipes up
>"Hey, while you're in there get me some Funyuns."
>"Sure, Anon you want anything?"
"Uhhhh....Snickers?"
>Brad flashed you a friendly smile
>"You got it Anon."
>He was about to open the door to get out when he stopped and handed you the gun
>"Hold this for me. I don't want to have to use it and legally I'm not allowed to have it."
>You get a good look at the gun this time
>/k/ would cringe
"Sure, I'll hold it for ya."
>You hold out your hand and he slaps it down
>"Careful, it's loaded."

>You stare at the gun in your hand as he jumps out of the vehicle with a certain swagger
>You're taking in the sight when it suddenly hits you
"What's Brad doing with a gun?"
>Toni scooches forward and takes it from you
>"That fatass back at the park pulled it out when I showed up and knocked that retard on his ass."
>You watched Toni turned the gun over and again in his hands as he inspected it
>Both Gilda and Rainbow were staring out their respective windows arms crossed and frowning
>Toni continued as he pushed you aside to check himself out in the rearview
>"You didn't see cause Brad stowed it right before he gave him a donkey punch."
>Posing as Bond, James Bond from the spy movies Toni winked at himself and blew kisses
>Brad jumped back in the car at that point and handed you a candy bar
>"You aren't doing anything important tonight are you anon?"
"Uh-"
>"Good, we're going to need another ride."
"Uh, yeah, okay. Where to?"
>"Don't worry about it."
>"Don't worry about it."
>Toni and Brad responded simulataneously causing Brad to turn his attention to the startup
>"Why do you have that gun?"
>"Wha-He gave it to me."
>Toni dropped the cocked weapon on your lap, barrel to the gut, and you felt yourself die a little inside
>"Anon don't give him that are you stupid? You just saw he almost blew your balls off."
>Very slowly and deftly you pick up the POS 187 and uncock the fucker
>Letting out a deep breath of air you decide to stuff into the glove compartment and start the car
>Brad was going on another tirade against Toni
>"...just cause you think you're so pretty...you can drive us back home now...if only we didn't have to count the cash right now, oh but just wait until later tonight, when we come back you're going to get it."
>"Braaad."
>Toni whine as he leaned closer to the front
>"Not in front of the girls..."
>Brad just stared him down
>"If you weren't more careful Anon wouldn't be able to get to do 'that' with them either. Not the way I do it at least."
>In one swift motion you unwrap the snickers bar and stuff it into your mouth to keep the vomit contained
>"Well, aren't you a hungry little piggy."

>By the time you all got home your stomach had settled enough to make you feel just a little queezy
>The sound of three doors opening and closing resounded very clearly in your neighborhood
>As you step out you feel a cool breeze brush past you as you hear an unmistakable whirr
>You turn your head swiftly and look down both ends of the street
>"Anon, everything okay?"
>Rainbow stood next to you and embraced your arm
"Uh, yeah, sure it is. I just...thought i heard something."
>"Anon."
>Brad called from the stoop
>"You alright?"
"Yeah! Yeah sure. Just want lay down for a bit."
---

>Two blocks away a white party van is parked inconspicuously next to the local pawn shop
>Inside was one man sitting in the pasenger seat wearing a suit and tie
>Sitting straight, arms folded, and staring ahead through a pair of dark sunglasses with his slick black hair neatly combed against his head
>There was a cage set up behind his seat, the darkness beyond made the contents impossible to discern
>Whatever pedestrian happened by hardly paid attention to either him or the vehicle
>Though that was only the case with pedestrians
>A homeless vagabond was never more at home than in the streets
>The dirty scraggly haired aging man figured he could at least trouble this newest guest with the time
>Earlier on he had asked a kindly looking woman for the same only to be met with fear and disgust
>She said she didn't have any change to give him but her fake Prada bag only denounced her for the cheapskate she was
>Thinking he could at least be polite enough to approach the driver's door first he rapped lightly on the glass
>"Excuse me sir, i just want to know what time it is."
>The man sat still, tightlipped, hardly acknowledging his presence
>Not giving the bum pretended he just couldn't hear him and resorted to hand gestures to ask for the time
>He pointed to his wrist and mouthed the words "Can I have the time?"
>Again he was met with stony silence
>This time he felt a twinge of anger at this snooty looking white guy in his fancy black suit
>He turned on his crazy homeless guy charm and pressed his face against the glass pretending to look around the van for something to steal
>There was nothing obvious of course, the interior was very neatly kept
>His eyes spied the cage leading to the cargo hold in the back
>He closed one eye and fogged the window with his breath
>"Excuse me, sir. May i help you?"
>He turned around slowly, still with the wild look in his eye
>There stood another man, or the same man, in front of him
>He turned again to see the man in the van now staring directly at him
>The man in front of him seemed to give him his full attention
>"Has my partner offended you in any way, sir?"
>The homeless man stood dumbfounded
>"Did he perhaps refuse to give you any change?"
>The homeless man dialed back on his crazy and now just sort of looked slightly deranged
>With the metaphorical air taken out of him he just grunted and pointed at his wrist to ask the time
>The man took it a different way and raised his left hand
>He was holding a silver briefcase which was also handcuffed to himself
>"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't say."
>The man, though curt, spoke with patience and politeness
>"Is there anything else?"
>The bum just sort of shook his head and slowly went along his business
>He didn't dare to break eye contact until he was just out of arm's reach
>The instant after he stopped paying attention to the man he spoke again
>"Excuse me, sir."
>The bum watched him reach into his inner breast pocket
>"You wouldn't happen to be in need of employment?"
>Before Agent Smith could retract his hand the bum ran away at top speed and disappeared into the nearest alleyway
>The man in the suit simply replaced the card he was holding and stepped into the van with his partner
>"Well, at least he's not as stupid as he looked."
>He spoke as the second man uncuffed him and placed the briefcase on his lap
>"Forget it, we've had enough 'recruits' this week already."
>The man started up the van and began cruising down the street
>"What about the kid?"
>"It's too hot. The same vehicles keep circling his building, we'll have to wait to smoke him out."

---

>Upstairs you open the door to find the Equestrian equivalent of a sweat shop
>While Rarity and Fluttershy were busy sewing, Pinky and Applejack busied themselves with the cutting
>Twilight was on quality control, making sure every snip and stitch was in its proper place
>Spike and Lyra were nowhere to be seen
>"Home already An-Oh, you found Gilda."
>Twilight walked up to the three of you
>"Well, I guess that's a good thing. We could really use the help."
"Does that include me? It's barely half past noon and already i want this day to be over."
>"Oh, you're welcome to join as long as you know something about needlepoint."
>You raise your hands in surrender, inadvertantly showing off your newest prize
>"Anon is that a chambered caliber pistol!?"
"Huh?"
>You look at the greasy Hi-Point in your hand
"No, it's just a toy."
>"That's just a toy?"
"According to Brad anyway."
>Twilight began to reach for it before you tucked it away
"Still not something you should play with though."
>"Oh, right. I guess you know better, after all i only watched a documentary."
>She smiled coyly but you could tell she wanted more
>"Anyway, Rainbow with you here you could probably help with the snipping and Gilda..."
>"Humph!"
>She marched past her and straight into your old room slamming the door shut behind her
>Two seconds later she sent a dog and unicorn comically flying out before slamming the door shut again
>"Oh, dear umm...maybe we should give her some space? I thought we made great strides in our friendship the other day."
>"Whatever, just tell me where you need me. The dance is tomorrow night and i want to look my awesomest for a special somepony"
>She elbowed your ribs and pecked you on the cheek
>"Right. I'll help Rarity and Fluttershy and Anon I guess you can be in charge of-"
>"Oh, no, no, no, no. This simply will not do."
>Twilight pounced on her
>"What's the matter Rarity? Did the string break, lost your needle, knot not knotting properly?"
>'Thirsty bitch'
>"No none of that. Anon, I'm sorry but I simply cannot allow you on the premises at this time. Not with that terrible stench, shabby torn clothes, and ugh that greasy palm pistol thingy of yours."
>Not know what to say you end up sniffing your armpits out of curiosity
>When the fuck did you take a dive in a dumpster?
>Your clothes smelled like sour milk, cigarette smoke, weed, and God only knows what deplorable form of BO
"What the fuck?"
>"I'm sorry I will have to ask you to leave."
"But I live here."
>Your voice came out small and squeaky
>Twilight leaned in to you
>"Maybe you should go see Gilda and see what's bothering her. I noticed she and Rainbow Dash haven't exactly made up yet."
>You knew exactly what was eating her
>But for the sake of not being thrown out and maybe getting to lie down in your own bed for once you decide to play along
>You shrugged and made your way past Spike and Lyra in the background playing some board game they dragged out of the dusty corners of your apartment
---
>You find Gilda sitting on the far end of your bed, her back turned to you with earphones on
>No doubt blasting the edgiest of metal
>Shrugging your shoulders you rummage through your drawers looking for, well, drawers
>Also other clean clothing to wear
>While you did so you wondered where you could trash your current set of clothing or if city ordinance would allow you to start a fire on your rooftop
>You tossed a clean sock over your shoulder, nothing wrong with it, it just wasn't the right one
>It landed on the messy bed behind you while you continued to search
>You already had the left sock and all that was left was the right but you kept coming up with lefties
>And you kept throwing them over your shoulder
>Obviously you coulnd't dance for shit but you didn't actually have two left feet
>Unless you were wearing left socks on both feet all this time
>...
>You were seriously considering taking off your shoes to check and your curiosity won
>Sitting down lightly on the bed so as to not disturb the bitch in the room you struggle with your right shoe
>"Fluttershy?"
>Was that a mouse?
>You turn your head to her
"Uhh...no."
>She hid her face
>"w-what are you doing here?"
"Just, um getting some clothes. Gonna hop in the shower real quick."
>Gilda turned back around quietly rubbing mouth
>You took the chance to get off the bed and make a break for the door
>Before you left the room though you look back and chance a little 'i told you so'
>Closing the door partway you speak firmly
"Your lip burning?"
>Quiet
"Told you not to smoke anything your boyfriend gave you."
>"He's not my boyfriend!"
>She turned around to give you a furious look through watery eyes
>That was enough to hold you over
>Gilda had spoken loud enough to get her point across
>But apparently not loud enough to register with the girls outside
>When you crossed the threshold they were still busy chattering amongst themselves
>You close the door behind you as Gilda lays down on your side of the bed
>Across the map, sorry i meant city, nobody's trying to trickshot here
>Anyways all the way across the city an unholy conglomerate had descended upon the airport
>Loads on loads of sweaty, funky, pube infested leather trenchcoats were being checked at the gate
>Foul smelling boots that set the TSA aghast passed through metal detectors on a conveyor belt
>Three security guards who were clearly not being paid enough for this shit were waving their wands quickly over the globs of fat that called themselves human
>One female employee was so offset by their collective stench she gagged audibly and retreated to the office
>She returned a moment later with an aerosol can of febreze in her hand and sprayed it liberally over all those she could reach
>This security theatre and show was of no consequence to the enlightened individuals, as was hygiene
>They would not allow water to wash off their bodily oils so as to remain forever yound as that buzzfeed article said so
>These people had found their perpetual fountain of youth
>In no time at all, partly due to security not giving a fuck any more as well as complaints from other visitors, the group of thirty or lardasses made their way to the terminal
>They had come in a time of great distress to await their newest arrival
>One thick lensed autist muttered something like 'not illegal' and pulled out a premium quality vapestick out of a leather case in his pocket
>Others soon followed suit while the lesser males were made to watch
>One opened his vape to reveal the grimy innards inside only to add more liquid, nicotine free
>He wasn't anyone's fool
>A ping resounded overhead
>"The 11 o'clock from Newark is now arriving."
>It was only a matter of a few trifle minutes before they could complete objective A of their mission
>However their primary objective was put on hold as they all searched for their secondary objective
>A row of chairs with a decent view of the tv
>Slowly each one waddled their way over to whatever empty chairs they could find
>The smaller males, little giants, managed to flop onto the nearest chairs before the larger ones could beach themselves
>Each obscenely obese male scrambled to wrapped their fat ham fists around the arms of each plastic chair
>Five members of the fedora crew formed a consecutive line and forced the chairs to creak and groan in ungodly manner
>They were a sight to behold for every working class individual who passed by
>One old fat man on a scooter urged others he was not associated with them and that he had a glandular problem
>The fatasses talked amongst themselves about the delusions of a prime mover and the futility of religion of any kind
>Everyone was so caught up in their intellectual farce they failed to spot their newest arrival in time
>He came as quietly as he did quickly, hunched over for aerodynamics
>This one was significantly slimmer than the rest
>His clothing form fitting and very flattering
>His fedora was tipped way low so as to hide his face from unworthy eyes
>In his hand was all that he needed to bring destruction down upon any who would dare threaten his brothers
>A leather briefcase with a custom built laptop he bought off ebay
>"Shentleman?"
>A familiar figure struggled to stand but did so before anyone else
>The hot topic autist was front and center before his honored guest
>"A-are you Ronnie's cousin?"
>"Ronnie? I know not this Ronnie. Perhaps you meant Cloudy Tempest Storm? The pegasus pony of winds?"
>"Yeah."
>Hot Topic spoke with adoration
>"I am Red Thunder, it's a pleasure to meet you Black Rain of Everfree."
>The skinny held up his hand
>"Please, Private First Class Black Rain of Everfree, I didn't join the army for nothing."
---

>Back at your place the gals were still hard at work even after you had gotten out of the shower
>Your hair was combed, clothes were clean, and you even snuck in a little cologne
>Not that you were expecting anything from anyone special, just to cover up that fucking stench
>Somehow it had grown worse after you reminded your nostrils what cleanliness smelled like
>Spike and Lyra had moved from one corner of your apartment directly into your bedroom
"Hey what are you guys..."
>Dear God they found your old Yugioh cards
>"Hey Anon! This game is great! I thought you said there wasn't any magic in this world!"
>Spike wagged his tail excitedly as you cringed inside
>"Yeah anon I'm totally beating Spike right now, i almost got my lifepoints down to 0! Only 700 left to go."
"That's not how it works. Where the hell did you find all this? How do you even know how to play?"
>Spike set a monster face down in defense mode before placing two cards face down on the field before ending his turn and giving you his attention
>"Gilda told us."
"Huh?"
>"Yeah, turns out she's not as big a meanie if you don't matter."
>'What the fuck?'
>Lyra ended her turn before speaking
>"Yeah she-"
>"Hey when did you strike down my magic swordsman?"
>"Just now, pay attention spike or we'll both be sent to the shadow space!"
"Shadow Realm"
>Why did you still remember that?
>Looking around your room you realize it was an even bigger mess than before
"What the hell happened here?"
>"Gilda got bored i guess, she found these cards in your closet and started reading the rules out loud to us."
>Spike used MONSTER REBORN!
>It activated Lyra's trap card PIT TRAP!
>"Darn it, not again. Fine i'll just summon my Dark Magician!"
"You can't do that yet."
>"Why not?"
>You noticed the room was empty
>"Where's Gilda?"
>Lyra reminded Spike about ritual summoning
>"She said she needed some air and climbed the stairs outside the window."
>"Hey, anon what's that stink? It smells like spoiled milk."
"I'll take care of it.
>You juggle the bundle of clothes in your hand as you crawl through the window
>Two seconds later and you have an lovely view of the alleyway and all the way up the street
>Right down to the trannies selling themselves on the corner
"Gross."
>"What is?"
>You nearly jumped at the sound of Gilda's raspy monotone voice
>She was sitting sitting up on a cooling vent looking out to the west
>The sun was still pretty high up in the sky
"Forget it. Don't mind me i just came up here to get rid of some stuff."
>You walk past her and pull out a bottle from the clothes before dropping them pile on the tar paper lining the roof
>Hoping 50% diluted rubbing alcohol was flammable enough you popped the cap open and poured out half the bottle
>"What's that for?"
"Fire. I'm burning these clothes because they stink too much of your bo-"
>You try not to repeat your mistake from earlier and catch yourself
"Your...homeboy. That damn slav baby looking motherfucker."
>"Slav?"
"Long story, just don't ever drink liquor when pregnant."
>"Who said anything about me being pregnant!?"
>Ah, geez
>You close the cap and turn around
"Nobody relax."
>"Because if I'm getting knocked upon-"
"Hey, relax!"
>Gilda gave you a look that was a mix of anger and worry
>Something was definitely eating her
"All i'm saying is you'll end up with a kid like that. Happens too often around here."
>Putting down the bottle you look for a match
"That's why this place is so shit. Nobody cares around here."
>Fuck these were new pants weren't they?
"Damn it, now i need to go downstairs."
>"Here stupid."
>Before you could take two steps Gilda tosses you a cheap lighter
>"Get on with it."
"...thanks."
>You get in close and start striking the flint
>It took a few tries to get a flame but the wind put it out
>You try again
>"Soo nobody cares around here huh?"
>Shaking your head 'no' you continue
"Too many people around here feel they've been wronged. Niggers have a history, but their children adopt it and corrupt the lessons their parents learned. They wander the streets feeling pissed off at shit that didn't happen to them."
>Fucking wind again
"Then you got the white folks, they say government doesn't help them out because they already got it good. So good in fact they don't bother working but then they expect the government to pick up the slack."
>You put your hand up to the lighter to block the wind
"Everyone else falls through the cracks and end up with the wrong crowd, then they all get painted the same color and treated like shit. But the fact of the matter is there are just too many people and not enough of them give a shit."
>You almost had it that time
"Nobody cares about each other anymore, or there are too many people to care for."
>An extra pair of hands cupped around yours
>Without looking up you could tell Gilda wanted to help
>"Sounds a lot like Griffonstone."
>You didn't speak another word and finally lit the clothes on fire
>The two of you stood back and watched the fire grow from a small red flame to a decent sized flame
"Thanks, again."
>"Pssh, if i hadn't helped we'd be up here all day."
>Again you became quiet
>"Yo, Anon!"
>Toni appeared in the stairwell behind you two
>"What the hell?"
"Oh, shit can i not light shit on fire up here?"
>"I don't give a shit about that, how come you got a seamstress shop set up in your living room?"
"Oh, uh, school dance?"
>Toni shook his head
>"Now my boyfriend is down there helping them try on their dresses and won't shut up about turning the drag show into a gala."
>"So what?
>Gilda interjected
>"So what? It's annoying as hell! As soon as i found out you two were up here i ran my ass back to my fridge and brought these."
>Toni lifted a small red cooler onto the ledge
"Beer?"
>"No, fucking wine coolers. It's all i had so shut up and help me drink them."
>It took you, Gilda, and Toni the rest of the day to finish off the wine coolers
>Not because they were disgustingly fruity
>Hell Gilda loved them
>There just weren't that many and you had to make them last if you wanted an excuse to keep from going downstairs
>It got to the point that you started pouring some of the ice from the bucket into the bottles to water down what you still had
>Nobody budged an inch the entire time
>The fire died down into a smoldering heap of melted tar
>Each of you took turns playing pointless games for useless points
>Your favorite was "The fuck was that?"
>A guessing game from the sounds you heard around you
>Usually it was a siren or some yelling in the distance but occasionally, if God smiled on you, you'd hear a scream from downstairs
>"YEOWCH!"
"Okay, which girl was it?"
>Toni and Gilda would each take a shot at who got pricked by a needle
>For simplicity's sake you counted Brad as 'one of the girls'
>"That was definitely Brad."
>"No way, it was that prissy girl. Rarity."
>"Bitch don't you think I'd know my own boyfriends' scream when i hear it?"
>You cringed and shiver whenever he said something like that
>The day wore on until at last the sun began to sink below the horizon and set the sky ablaze with all them there purty colors
>"I wanted to be an astronaut man."
"Dude, I don't think these even have alcohol in them."
>"I'm feeling it."
"Please, where you come from Apple Cider is considered hard liquor."
>Toni started chuckling
>You heard someone coming up the stairs and start yelling at you
>Not really paying much attention because you had a bit of a buzz going on you wave them off
>"Fuck off you old hag we're having fun!"
>Toni was struck with another wave of laughter that knocked him out of his seat
>You heard the person muttering some profanity to themselves followed by some scrambling
>Apparently the old hag was wearing some form of slippers because of the 'swish, swish' that replaced her footsteps
>A strong hand clung to your shoulder and spun you around to find the most gaunt face you could've asked for
>A mat of red hair was pulled back from her face in a disorderly fashion to keep it clean since there was evidence of an avocado mask on the fringes of her face
>When she peeled back her lips to speak you could clearly see her thin yellowed teeth
>"What the hell do you punks think you're doing? You think you can just come up and trash this place?"
>A quick glance to the floor revealed two cans you failed to jump-shot into the cooler
"Uhh..."
>"Don't give me that!"
>She switched her hand from your shoulder to your ear and twisted it to painful results
"OW! You fucking bitch!"
>Toni who had just regained his composure started laughing again
>She reached out and grabbed him by the ear as well
>"You fucking street urchins! Squatters! Lazy junkies!"
>Her elongated fingernails threatened to tear your ear off if she kept it up
>"Hey bitch, how about you let my friend go before things get ugly!"
>Gilda stood up next to you and cracked her fingers loudly
>The woman looked up at her with a snarl
>"And you! Do your parents know where you are? Shacking up with these two good-for-nothings!?"
>"I'm only shacking up with one of them!"
"Gilda that's not what-OW!"
>"SHUT UP! YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
>"I'm not going to repeat myself. Let that green dweeb go. Now."
>The bitch and the hag had a momentary stare off before she relented and let go of you by tossing you to the floor
>"Take him and get out of here! Leave before i call the building manager and have him beat the crap out of you!"
"Ow, fuck. Crazy bitch I fucking live here!"
>Gilda helped you to your feet
>"Bullshit!"
"Yes I do, and for your information i'm friends with the manager too."
>"Fuck you, you just don't want to get what's coming to you. Drunk! Thug! Bastard!"
"Fucking dried up old spinster! Fuck you! He lives here and he knows the manager too!"
>"Lying piece of shit pervert motherfucker!"
>"OW, my fucking ear you whore! I do too know Brad!"
>"Oh yeah, how?'
>"BECAUSE I'M FUCKING HIM!!!"
>There was a long silence wherein the wind blowing past the rooftops was the only thing heard
>"You-You're just fucking with me."
>A deep voice rang out behind her
>"No actually, he's fucking with me."
>You all turn to look at the proud son of Skyrim as he hefted his mighty figure over the rail of the fire escape and made his way to you all
>"I'd appreciate it if you'd let go of my spouse Ms. Pennywise"
>"O-Oh my."
>Instantly she let go of Toni and started apologizing profusely
>"I am so deeply, deeply sorry sir. I didn't know that they were tenants here like me."
>Brad held up his hand and shook his head slowly
>"It's alright, you have nothing to apologize for. These kids already know they're not supposed to be doing all this."
>"Oh, yes of course. I had forgotten how rowdy teenagers could be, I suppose it has been a long time for me."
>"No. How old are you 30, 40? It hasn't been that long."
>Brad was a horrible liar
>Still he had her laughing and blushing in less than a minute before he bid her goodbye and sent her back to her 'penthouse' apartment
>Then he turned his attention to you three
>"Mind telling me what all this is about?"
>You were about to apologize when Gilda took charge
>"I came up here because I couldn't handle all those ditzes down there gushing over dresses and sequins. I don't even know what sequins is. I just wanted some private time and...s-sorry if I'm not allowed to have some 'me' time."
>Damn how hard were those wine coolers?
>Brad just stared down at her before shifting to you
"Uhh, i just came up here to check on her."
>He raised an eye and shifted his gaze slightly to the melted tar paper behind you
"Oh, uhh, fuck. Didn't think i could wash the stink off. Heh?"
>He remained quiet as he looked at Toni
>"Well i just-"
>"Who said you could take my wine coolers?"
>"What? I paid for them."
>"But do you drink them?"
>Toni shrugged
>"Didn't have anything else?
>Brad reached out and slapped his face
>"That's your punishment. As for you...
>You tried your best not to flinch
>"...you're punishment is no more face time with you know who."
"Who?"
>"You know who."
"Um?"
>"Don't act stupid anon, and as for you young lady."
>Brad hiked his hands up to his hips and stated very matter-of-factly her punishment
>"You are going to march downstairs right now and you are going to help those lovely girls down there with their dresses."
>"What?"
>"Oh quit complaining, they're practically done with theirs and they still need to take your measurements."
>"MY measurements?"
>"Oh, what you thought you weren't going to the dance in a fabulous new gown. You poor dear. Now march."
>Gilda couldn't help but protest quietly with her face contorting in all sorts of expressions as she looked helplessly to you for help
>All you could do was shrug
>Finally defeated she breathed a sigh of contempt and walked away
>"And what are you two waiting for? March!"
>He stamped on floor

---

>It was just after dark when you finally left to 'nowhere in particular'
>You felt a bit sorry for Gilda when you saw her getting mobbed by Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy
>From what you could make out all three wanted to simultaneous have her try on a dress, learn to foxtrot, and ask if the trim was good enough
>You saw the same look on her face you only caught a glimpse of earlier that day
>That look of complete helplessness that pleaded with you to bring her along
>"Nope, that's her just desserts."
>Brad had said before you even dared to ask
>Well, you guessed she was fucked
>Rainbow snuck up on you and gave you a kiss goodbye before Pinkie and AJ forced her back on stand to finish up with the fringe
>"You're going to rent a tuxedo aren't you?"
"Huh?"
>Brad brought you out of your daydream with a sobering thought
>"Isn't this dance supposed to be a magical evening? You are going to dress like a proper gentleman aren't you?"
"Ah, um, yeah I got some nice shirts i could-"
>"Nope!"
"What?"
>"I said nope. No. No way. Those girls back there are working way too hard to make themselves look pretty for you to take them to their homecoming dance in a wrinkled old dress shirt you probably have leftover from some court hearing."
>It was actually from your cousin's baptism
>Brad's sigh sounded more like a groan
>"I guess I have no choice. I'll have to take you to my personal tailor after this meeting with Johnny."
"Uh, okay."
>...
"Wait, you have a personal tailor!?"
>"Yes. Why do you ask?"
>This man sitting next to you, you had never seen in anything but dirty t-shirts and trackpants
>He was literally wearing a stained wife beater right the-motherfuck-now
>"Well?"
>You shake your head
"No, i just didn't think you would have a personal tailor. Seems so old school."
>"Well Anon in case you haven't noticed dear I am much older than you. Do you remember the zoot suit riots?"
"Hell nah you weren't in those."
>"Of course i wasn't. How old do you think i am? No, I'm just saying if i were there I'd be siding with all those beaners just for the sake of the suit. I am a very fashion forward individual."
>'Yeah, sure Mac whatever you say.'
"Okay."
>"I'm serious, all the girls down at the club are always complimenting me on my scarves, or belts, or shoot once even the feather in my fedora."
"Your fedora?"
>"Yes, didn't you help Toni pick out that lovely fedora he brought home?"
>"Yeah!"
"HOLY SHIT!!!"
>You swerved all over the road as Toni hopped his freddy kruger ass from the backseat
>You completely forgot he was back there

---

>The influx of Prius's and scooter's clogged the airport's major arteries
>Headlights reached back at least 2 miles all the way to highway off ramp
>Honking and swearing was heard all around as the army of autistic teenagers and weeaboos clustered together
>One such vehicle however stood apart from the rest despite being in the middle of the fray
>A lone white party van with blacked out windows and nary a bumper sticker to identify it as one of thir own
>Inside sat a lone geek tapping consistently away at the keys on his laptop illuminated only by the glow of its screen
>Several tabs had been pulled up on special version of Mozilla, Aurora
>Other lines of code and command prompts also littered the desktop behind the windowed browser but they were largely ignored having already fulfilled their use
>Now the Military IT private was pulling up more than just facebook and old phone and DMV records
>GPS, birth records, private documents, bank accounts, unsecured IP addresses, passwords, video feeds, and even an unathorized use of a military satellite were all at the hands of one Private Black Rain
>On the request of one of the neckbeards he looked up the position of two other phones as well
>One belonging toHot Topic
>The other was from another suspected lost comrade whom no one had seen since before "The Day of the Deluge"
>"Mark didn't check in like we all did after then, to make sure we were all okay."
>"What if he was lost in the flood?"
>"He couldn't have, he was visiting relatives out of town with his parents, he didn't come back until the next day."
>So now there were two GPS locations he had hacked into displaying on screen
>One was safe and sound in the home of yours truly
>While the other...

---

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXANrP1738A
>Traffic was a bitch getting in, good thing you were with 'permissible company'
>You didn't do much at the meeting besides get felt up and hung around the front of your car watching the planes take off
>Looking up at the sky you tried to count the stars
>This being the second farthest you've been away from home you could make more of them out
>The last time you saw this many stars you were on the lamb from the army of autists that were nipping at your heels
>Toni sat next to you thumbing through his feed and uploading pictures of himself he had take earlier in the day
>Deciding you were tired of standing, and not wanting to ask how much longer you two would be kept waiting you hop on your hood and stretch out over you cracked windshield
>Stars sure were pretty
>"Hey Anon check out this picture i took today."
>You barely bothered to raise your head to see a three inch visual representation of himself on his mobile holding a gun and some cash
"That's real fucking neato yo."
>"I know right, I'm such a fucking badass."
>You turned your attention back to the night sky as he turned his back to the phone
>Adjusting your aching ass on the hood you felt something move in your pants
>It wasn't your penis, so what could it be?
>Reaching elbow deep into your pockets you pull out a janky looking mobile phone of your own
>This wasn't your phone though, and you left Twilight the sperg's to keep an open line of communication at all times
>So what the fuck was this one?
>Thinking hard you honestly couldn't remember where this thing could've come from
>It was the latest model with a hard cover just plastered with anime stickers
>You turned it on and even more depressing weeb shit assaulted your eyes
>It looked like a schoolgirl with unkempt black hair and bags under her eyes who was  wearing a skimpy bikini she was uncomfortable in
>Of course it was
>Battery life was at a critical 3%
>"That's your phone?"
>Toni scoffed at you
>"That's so gay."
"Aren't you the one taking it up the ass?"
>"Man fuck you!..So whose phone is it? Oh! I know it's that one fatass's isn't it?"
>The realization hit you like a wall of bricks
>You had gotten this on the night that asshole tried to break into your place a second time
>Fuck those girls aren't safe!
>You quickly slide the screen lock to make a call

---

>Back in the van
>"Shh, shh, shh, he's making a call."
>"To think he's at the same airport we're at. Oooh, if he's thinking of absconding away into the night with my Rarity."
>"He wouldn't stay in the same spot for over a half hour if he were doing that."
>Privet Black Rain raised the volume as the phone rang
>He had "hacked' (logged in with his credentials against regulations) into the NORAD spy satellite that was to be used only for immediate threats to national security and using it to tap the lines
>All he needed to do spoof a Mac address or two and he was able to intercept
>"Um, h-hello?"
>"Twily..."
>One of them had spoken in sing song
>"Shut up you idiot, you're lucky they can't hear us."
>"Hey it's ----...."
>"Hello? Anon?"
"Yeah, it's me. I think i caught some static from a passing plane or something."
>"A plane?"
"Long story, anyway just checking in on you. Everything ok? No weird visitors?"
>"None so far, thank Celestia."
"Ok, good. Listen i don't know how much longer I'll be over here so just go ahead and cook some dinner for yourselves. I'll find something to eat out here."
>"Are you sure? Fluttershy doesn't like to eat unless we're all together, she's worried you'll get sick if you don't eat properly."
"Heh, tell her not to worry about me. Trust me I'm the picture of health, for the most part. At least dietarily speaking."
>"Hee Hee okay anon I'll tell her. Oh, and speaking of pictures I think me and Gilda have actually found something that could help us locate the portal to Equestria!"
....
>"Anon?"
.....
>"Hello?"
>"Just hang up you dweeb!"
*click*
>Privet watched one of the two little dots dissapear off his map
>"It seems our friend's phone is DoA."
>In the wake of the moment the blobs stirred uneasily
>Even the driver shifted in his seat to look back at them
>"D-Did you guys just hear that! A PORTAL TO EQUESTRIA!!!
>"YYYAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS! WE CAN ALL FINALLY GO HOME!!!!"
>"No, we can't."
>The neckbeards started throwing a fit
>"What!? Didn't you just hear my sweet waifu!?"
>"Y-Yeah! Twily's the smart one, she knows a portal to Equestria when she sees one!"
>The privet put his computer in sleep mode and let the darkness envelop him as he slipped it into his duffel
>"She said they may have found something. Whatever that something is we don't know. We don't even know where the hell the portal could be."
>"So? Can't you just work your wizardry again and listen to another phone call?"
>"Even if I did i hardly think this is one of those matters they would discuss over the phone, big brother's listening in after all, and i don't mean myself. Remember a little something called the Patriot Act? If Anon is as conniving as you make him out to be he might just avoid spoilers such as these from leaking into government hands. Who knows what they could do with this kind of information."
>"So what do we do?"
>Privet leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes
>"We wait and watch, there's no point in us rushing this. We don't want to spook him after all, he already knows we're watching him. He doesn't feel safe."

---