A hell of sort (/nmp/, waifufaggotry, safe)

>She's hot
>She's so very hot
>Your horse wife is
>That's something about your mare that you never told to anyone
>How hot she is
>Not figuratively so, of course, you're certain half the town knows how much you love your wife by now
>But she's literally hot
>Pastel horses are, not just your wife mind you, but she's the reason you realized how much so
>It's only a handful of degrees, doesn't seem like a lot on paper, but in practice?
>That's a world of difference right there
>Sometimes, it's a good thing
>Winter is the first thing that comes to mind, when everything is cold and you never seem to wear enough layers to keep the bite away, your mare is there
>Your very warm and very cuddly mare, how many a winter nights have you spent on the couch, her form resting on top of yours and the both of you cocooned in that big old comforter that was keeping the precious heat from escaping
>Or when you're going at it, turns out her insides feel ever hotter
>But other times, it's not
>Such as when spring comes, when the sun shines brightly during the day and you can walk around town in a light jacket of sort, and yet still the nights are chilly and you can't wait to hide yourself under those covers
>Like right now
>She's hot
>It's hot
>You're hot
>Way too hot, so much you're sweating, and sweating enough to wake you up in the middle of the night
>It's 2AM
>You ponder about slowly getting out of bed and swapping those heavy winter blankets for the thinner summer ones, but a single second of being exposed to the cold outside temperature is enough to dissuade you
>You're stuck in a hell of sort
>Fire on one side, ice on the other
>There's no way you can go back to sleep like this, not with her so close--
>Oh
>Maybe you could try that

>And so, ever so slowly, you scooch yourself closer and closer to the edge of the bed and away from your little spoon--
>Only for her to stay glued to you
>You whisper her name
>No reply
>She's still fast asleep
>So how the hell
>You scooch some more--
>-and she follows suit
>You'd find this really cute if it wasn't so frustrating right now
>There's no escaping the mare, it seems
>And there's not enough space for you to try this again, you're already as far as you can be without risking to fall over
>And though this new position isn't as moist and uncomfortable as the last one, you can feel your sweat starting to pool onto the mattress already
>Yeah, looks like there's no way around it
>If you want to find any sleep tonight, you'll have to get out and swap those covers
>Come on, you can do this
>Just don't be a pussy and do it
>You already know they must be hidden somewhere inside the main cupboard
>Okay just, at 3
>2
>1
>You take a deep breath, steeling yourself from the sudden change in temperature your body is promised to feel, and in a single movement, you pull the covers away from you and quickly pull your leg to the side and--

>"Mmmrrghhn.."
"Wai-shitttt--"
>Is all your brain can muster as your wife's rear, which was most likely searching for your warmth due to the cold air settling in and replacing it, pushes you out and off the edges of the bed
>Most of the shock is thankfully absorbed by the thick rug surrounding your bed, but the heavy thud is still enough to jolt your mare awake
>Her face pokes out a second later, as you lay there sprawled onto the cold carpet, trying to assimilate what just happened and comprehend how it all went wrong
>She's puzzled, obviously wondering what it is you're doing on the ground as her little hoof tries to rub the sleep away from her eyes
>"What are you doing?"
"I don't even know,"
>But the shock doesn't last, and reality settles in
>You're fucking freezing out here
>Quick, the plan still stands, let's just--
>But before you can even try to stand up, a shadowy form bounces off of the bed and comes right at you
"Ooof!"
>The impact is enough to push the air out of your lungs
"What are you doing?!"
>You ask the little mare already snuggling onto your chest
>"Mmh, the mattress is all wet,"
>Ah
"Okay but--"
>"Shhh, big day tomorrow, sleep now~,"
>Sleep?
"We can't just..."
>You can't just sleep on the rug!
>"MMmh,"
>She doesn't seem to mind, as not thirty seconds later you can already feel the rhythmic heave of her chest onto yours
>Well, she doesn't seem to mind
>What now?
>You're stuck again
>Stuck between the cold floor and your hot mare
>A hell of sort