A hell of sort (/nmp/, waifufaggotry, safe)

May 2nd, 2019
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  1. >She's hot
  2. >She's so very hot
  3. >Your horse wife is
  4. >That's something about your mare that you never told to anyone
  5. >How hot she is
  6. >Not figuratively so, of course, you're certain half the town knows how much you love your wife by now
  7. >But she's literally hot
  8. >Pastel horses are, not just your wife mind you, but she's the reason you realized how much so
  9. >It's only a handful of degrees, doesn't seem like a lot on paper, but in practice?
  10. >That's a world of difference right there
  11. >Sometimes, it's a good thing
  12. >Winter is the first thing that comes to mind, when everything is cold and you never seem to wear enough layers to keep the bite away, your mare is there
  13. >Your very warm and very cuddly mare, how many a winter nights have you spent on the couch, her form resting on top of yours and the both of you cocooned in that big old comforter that was keeping the precious heat from escaping
  14. >Or when you're going at it, turns out her insides feel ever hotter
  15. >But other times, it's not
  16. >Such as when spring comes, when the sun shines brightly during the day and you can walk around town in a light jacket of sort, and yet still the nights are chilly and you can't wait to hide yourself under those covers
  17. >Like right now
  18. >She's hot
  19. >It's hot
  20. >You're hot
  21. >Way too hot, so much you're sweating, and sweating enough to wake you up in the middle of the night
  22. >It's 2AM
  23. >You ponder about slowly getting out of bed and swapping those heavy winter blankets for the thinner summer ones, but a single second of being exposed to the cold outside temperature is enough to dissuade you
  24. >You're stuck in a hell of sort
  25. >Fire on one side, ice on the other
  26. >There's no way you can go back to sleep like this, not with her so close--
  27. >Oh
  28. >Maybe you could try that
  30. >And so, ever so slowly, you scooch yourself closer and closer to the edge of the bed and away from your little spoon--
  31. >Only for her to stay glued to you
  32. >You whisper her name
  33. >No reply
  34. >She's still fast asleep
  35. >So how the hell
  36. >You scooch some more--
  37. >-and she follows suit
  38. >You'd find this really cute if it wasn't so frustrating right now
  39. >There's no escaping the mare, it seems
  40. >And there's not enough space for you to try this again, you're already as far as you can be without risking to fall over
  41. >And though this new position isn't as moist and uncomfortable as the last one, you can feel your sweat starting to pool onto the mattress already
  42. >Yeah, looks like there's no way around it
  43. >If you want to find any sleep tonight, you'll have to get out and swap those covers
  44. >Come on, you can do this
  45. >Just don't be a pussy and do it
  46. >You already know they must be hidden somewhere inside the main cupboard
  47. >Okay just, at 3
  48. >2
  49. >1
  50. >You take a deep breath, steeling yourself from the sudden change in temperature your body is promised to feel, and in a single movement, you pull the covers away from you and quickly pull your leg to the side and--
  52. >"Mmmrrghhn.."
  53. "Wai-shitttt--"
  54. >Is all your brain can muster as your wife's rear, which was most likely searching for your warmth due to the cold air settling in and replacing it, pushes you out and off the edges of the bed
  55. >Most of the shock is thankfully absorbed by the thick rug surrounding your bed, but the heavy thud is still enough to jolt your mare awake
  56. >Her face pokes out a second later, as you lay there sprawled onto the cold carpet, trying to assimilate what just happened and comprehend how it all went wrong
  57. >She's puzzled, obviously wondering what it is you're doing on the ground as her little hoof tries to rub the sleep away from her eyes
  58. >"What are you doing?"
  59. "I don't even know,"
  60. >But the shock doesn't last, and reality settles in
  61. >You're fucking freezing out here
  62. >Quick, the plan still stands, let's just--
  63. >But before you can even try to stand up, a shadowy form bounces off of the bed and comes right at you
  64. "Ooof!"
  65. >The impact is enough to push the air out of your lungs
  66. "What are you doing?!"
  67. >You ask the little mare already snuggling onto your chest
  68. >"Mmh, the mattress is all wet,"
  69. >Ah
  70. "Okay but--"
  71. >"Shhh, big day tomorrow, sleep now~,"
  72. >Sleep?
  73. "We can't just..."
  74. >You can't just sleep on the rug!
  75. >"MMmh,"
  76. >She doesn't seem to mind, as not thirty seconds later you can already feel the rhythmic heave of her chest onto yours
  77. >Well, she doesn't seem to mind
  78. >What now?
  79. >You're stuck again
  80. >Stuck between the cold floor and your hot mare
  81. >A hell of sort
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