[center][size=4][color=maroon][b]Section 1:[/b][/color][/size][center]

[b]Question 2:[/b]
I would like you to elaborate further about Clans and Bloodlines (especially bloodlines), not necessarily about each one separately though.
Include an explanation about the Daughters of Cacophony in your answer.

[b]Question 4:[/b]
Please elaborate on how these factors would affect Cainites socially.

[b]Question 5:[/b]
Please elaborate on the consequences of these two actions and how different sects view it.

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[center][size=4][color=maroon][b]Section 2:[/b][/color][/size][center]

[b]Question 1:[/b]
More info, including Lilith/the 4 angels/the 2nd&3rd generations in your answer.

[b]Question 2:[/b]
More info, including why they were originated.

[b]Question 4:[/b]
Good, but more info, include the Sabbat in your answer.

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[center][size=4][color=maroon][b]Section 3:[/b][/color][/size][center]

You could season this Section up as a whole, provide more information and make it a little bit more spicy and interesting.
I know you know the job.

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[center][size=4][color=maroon][b]Character Creation:[/b][/color][/size][center]

[b]Disciplines:[/b]
I've seen you've rounded your Melpominee down to 5, probably a wise choice for now.
Progress up to 6 through gameplay :)

[b]Story:[/b]
Paragraph 1:
I cocked an eyebrow to the first paragraph until I realized it was lyrics of a song, nice idea. But confusing to those who don't know it. (Keep it the way it is, just wanted to mention it).

Paragraph 2:
The second paragraph seems a little rushed, the embrace happened way too quickly.
I want to know what exactly happened there, elaborate further about the moment she decided Rose is ready to be embraced, include in your answer why.

Paragraph 3:
Please elaborate further what have she done during those 50 years (considering this is 50% of her lifespan), aside of progressing further her Melpominee powers, include her mother & sister in your edit.

Paragraph 4:
What about her mother & sister? did she leave them all behind? did they come with her? you can mix it up with the changes I told you to make in the third paragraph.


[b]Features:[/b]
Artistically Gifted: Specify your talent (which is probably singing), but this is [b]NOT[/b] going to apply for Melpominee rolls.

Magic Resistance: I want to see a very good explanation to this merit, also, another RPF is required saying you may never learn any kind of sorcery, this merit comes with a cost.

Chorus Trained: Are you sure you want to grab this merit? You're going to be the only one around.

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[center][size=4][color=maroon][b]Summary:[/b][/color][/size][center]

The story has a nice concept, and even made me laugh on loud.
[quote]Pigs.[/quote]
You surely managed to project her feelings by putting yourself in her own [size=1]high heel[/size] shoes.

Please go over the things I have mentioned and let's see how we step forward.