Thread 30: Stories 46-60

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>SA
"2"
'Twilight'
~Celestia~
[???]
{???}
~~~~~

>TWO NO THAT'S A LAMP POS-

*CLANK!*

>...

"...Ya' okay?"

>Fiiiiine...

'You don't look okay.'

~You look like you're about to start crying.~

"Don't cry!"

>I'm not going to... OH MY GOSH!

~And that would be the concussion settling in.~

>GUYS!

The two ponies who had been trying slip past unnoticed suddenly froze.

>Itty-Bitty! Laughy Gaffy! You made it!

Even Twilight had to wince at the fake smiles plastered on their faces.

[S-shiiiny.]

{We were just... just looking for you.}

>Finally! Guys, I want you to meet Applejack Two.

"HIIIII!"

[Hey...]

{Nice to meet you...}

"Nice ta' meet you too!... Who are you?"

{Unsurprising.}

>Two, these are my friends from high school.

"OHHHH! Yer' the one Shiny used ta' hang out with all the time? COOL! Can ya' tell stories?"

[Like you wouldn't believe.]

{Dunno if he'd want us, to, they're pretty embarrassing.}

>No no! Embarrass away, please! My dignity is a small price to pay, and I'll pay it gladly!

[...Uh, should we be bowing?]

>What? What for- Oh no, no no, she's just here to have fun.

~Please, pretend like I don't even exist.~

{...How.}

~Admittedly, harder said than done.~

[So you're just hanging out at an amusement park with the most powerful pony on the planet?]

{And the other most powerful one.}

'What, don't tell me you don't remember me!'

[...]

'...I mean, we never, like, talked, but I was there!'

{Right... and you're just, having fun?}

>Well, yeah! I like having fun like anyone else, I'm still... I'm still good old Shiny, you know!

{Sure...}

[Uh, hate to cut this brief, but we're... meeting up with someone in a bit.]

{Right, a... a couple of girls, yeah!}

[Sorry, don't want to leave you in the cold, but not exactly kid friendly stuff, you know?]

"Awww! Everyone says that! You should do kid friendly stuff, it's fun!"

>Oh... heh, well, you know, here all weekend! We need to catch up, really, sometime...

[...Sure.]

{Have fun with your princesses, Shining Armor. Don't leave them hanging too long.}

With all the subtle of a rhino playing the piano, they ran off.

>...Well, it was good to see them again! Hope their dates go well...

"Shiny? Ya' okay?"

>Course I am, Two! Come on, we're getting a candy dog next.

"YAY!"

Mustering enthusiasm from who knows where, the pair took off ahead, leaving the winged pair to hang back just out of earshot.

'...That was cooooold.'

~You are underselling it. They hid that look between me and him like I hide my ass in a thong.~

'Shiny seemed... bothered.'

~He was, just a touch.~

'I feel so bad for him.'

~Twilight, not all friendships survive big changes. Sometimes it's best just to move on.~

'...He's not going to, you know.'

~Of course not. If he could, he would have moved on when I recorded him getting his nose broken by 42. He'll keep trying.~

'Can we do something?'

~Of course, Twilight. Some verbal support when he needs it... and some other kind of support when it doesn't quite work out.~

'That bad, huh?'

~Twilight, my innuendo is a little rusty, but even I know what a stallion means when he wiggles his eyebrows while saying 'packing'.~

'...I don't.'

~...LOOK! Food!~

'Please don't do that, it makes me feel dumb.'

~FOOOOOD!~

'...Damn it, I'm going to have to ask Chrysalis, aren't I?'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
{???}

>RAMMING SPEEEEEED!!!

{You cannot be serious.}

The Cider Squeezy rockets towards the form of Queen Chrysalis, standing with a superior smirk on her face on the train tracks.

>Oh but I am, there's not enough room in this dreamscape for her and me, and if I'm gonna go through whatever pain this not-death is gonna give me, I'm gonna make dead fucking certain she isn't around to dish it out!

{Are you so far gone that this is the only answer you see?}

>It's the only way this can end, with one or both of us dead! The moment she sent us into those caves was the moment that only one of us could continue inhabiting this world!

{I disagree. Now, stop.}

>I will not-

32 blinks...it is true he did not heed the voice's command, the world around him it seems did not. Everything has halted, Reggie and Q's faces frozen in masks of excitement, Flim and Flam's in terror, the cider machine hangs on the tracks, motionless.

>What...what's going on here!?

{I am assuming control of this dream, as well as your mind. You cannot be trusted with it, clearly.}

All around 32, the world falls away, replaced with blackness, bleak and unending. His friends are gone, his enemies as well.

He is alone. Again.

{A shame to cut that scenario short, but I could not in good conscience allow a Queen to come to harm.}

>What just happened!?

{I stopped your dream and deleted it. My resurgence is allowing me greater control beyond this mere communication.}

>Great, juuuust great, can't even have a little regicidal fun in my own head.

32 grumbles angrily to himself.

{Interesting...}

>What?

{Hm? Oh just thinking aloud. Yes, most interesting indeed.}

>Who the hell are you!?

{In good time, ugh, 32. Such a ludicrous name. Not even a name at all. A number. But...a small blessing I suppose. Your treachery would have been much more severe had you chosen one of those convergences of sounds these ponies call 'names'.}

>The hell are you talking about!? What is this!?

{This? This, my friend...}

A pair of piercing eyes gaze out at 32 from the darkness.

{Is an audit. Did you know your actions in this dream were purely non-lethal?}

>Excuse me?

{I register no deaths in the dreamscape, merely what you would call 'ring out's. An odd occurrence if you despise your opponents so.}

>Hey, not for lack of trying, buddy, I was going to carve chrome dome up like a ham!

{Doubtful. I recognized a few nanoseconds worth of hesitation in your movements with the knife in your holes. There is hope yet.}

>Hope for what?

{Hope that my return to the Hive will be possible. You are a vile traitor, a heretical drone preaching a dark gospel of free will and self-determination. I intend to fix what you've broken like the tantruming child you are and return to the Hive as a fully functional and perfect servant to the Queen.}

>You're going to-?

{Yes, 32, I'm going to take away this body you have wasted.}

>How!?

32 bares his fangs at the eyes, then ducks as a blast of magic nearly fries him.

{By analyzing you, then destroying you. Enjoy your dreams, you monster, you will never awake from them.}

>Hey wait-!

And then his eyes opened, leaving him in the midst of a vast desert. He wears a battered stetson, a worn battle saddle is strapped to him as the sun beats down from above.

>...shit.

{I believe the term is 'Consarnit', now survive if you can, little bug, I will continue to monitor your progress, or lackthereof.}

>Kiss my ass, whoever you are, I'm going to figure this out, and then I'm coming for you, you hear me!?

{Doubtful, oh so very doubtful.}

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>8-Bit
"Gaffer"
~Partyland Barker~

>Ugggggh...

"You've been doing that for the last 10 minutes. Stop."

>Yeah, I know. I just, y'know, was kind of hoping... I dunno... ugggh.

With a casual roll of his hoof, Gaffer let the ping pong ball fly, reaching the xenith and tumbling downwards to plink ineffectively against the rim of the glass he'd been aiming for. Elevation 2500 feet and climbing.

"Hoping what."

8-Bit hucked the ball he'd been holding in his mouth, the softball sailing wide and smacking with a dull fwump against the back of the pitching range.

>That he'd... I dunno... be back to normal. That we could go back to being friends again. That--

The next ping pong ball sailed low, bounced one, two, three times off of different rims, and skittered off under the table where the collection of goldfish were set up. Good, negligible wind resistance at this altitude.

"That he would keep his promise, you mean. That if one of us hit it big, we'd take the others to the top with them. That's what you hoped."

>...Ugggggh...

The second softball came in on-target, but with no strength behind it. the heavy metal cans nudged back almost imperceptibly as the ball thunked dully off of them.

"Face. Facts. You and I, we thought we were something, didn't we? Aspiring engineer, logistics manager... sure, we might not be hero material, swashbucklers or battle-hardened veterans, but surely we'd be secondary characters, right?"

He let out a measured sigh and tossed the last ping pong ball up, turning around before it even made the first plink.

>Well... I guess, yeah. I'd kinda hoped he'd at least remember who got him and Cadence together. Who strategized with him, engineered remote controlled gadgets, learned to play the keytar, all so he could have a storybook ending.

Plink, plink, plink, plink... bloop!

"He remembers just fine. He simply has no interest in helping his 'bestest buddies' in any tangible, appreciable way. Know why?"

>...

Gaffer's hoof lays over 8-bit's, taking the softball from him as he speaks and tossing it with increasing force between each hoof; each smack punctuating his point.

"Because to him, we're not friends."

smack.

"Don't worry, we're not his enemies, either."

smack.

"No, we're not nearly important enough for that."

Smack.

"We're NPCs, we're Level 1 Peasants, we're Villagers 1 and 2."

SMACK.

"The big mistake we made wasn't that we were friends with him."

SMACK.

"The problem was, we were practicing the wrong lines. The whole time, we were saying, 'Shining, you can do it!', 'Shining, go get 'er pal!', 'Shining, you'll do great at the guard academy!'..."

The air practically screamed with the force Gaffer put behind the softball, the bottom-weighted metal cans no match for the sheer force of his pitch. They sounded more like bowling pins than cans as they scattered in terror from the nerd's rage.

"When what we ought to have been saying is:"

He pointed without looking at the Chitania plush, before putting it in his saddlebag.

"Welcome to Corneria."

He trotted over to the goldfish bag he'd won, stowing that away as well while his friend watched.

"Patrolling the Marejave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter."

Trotting away through the crowd, Gaffer muttered the last one more to himself than 8-bit.

"I am Error."
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>Cadence
"18"
'42'
[???]
{???}
~~~~

>You are not smarter than me!

"..."

>42!

'...Uh...'

>She's not!

'W-well... OH! You are more intelligent than her in the area of Sparklejoules. Your knowledge on the magical properties of love are unmatched!'

>See?

"Now ask her about legal terms, math, or architecture."

>...I don't want to.

"Thought not."

'Are you guys just going to keep fighting?'

>Maybe!

'Do I have to drag you into one of the wrestling pits? I have heard that 'hashing it out' is a nice way to come to terms with one another.'

"You just want to see us rubbing all over each other."

'...'

>...42?

"Shit, think I fried her."

>There is smoke coming out of there-

'Oh hey! Hi guys!... Why are we in front of the tilted-tree?'

>What the-

"Reboot, don't question it.... So, hey, you said something about fighting?"

>18!

'...'

"Because I just loooove fighting. Getting all up close and personal, grappling tight, don't you just love that feeling, Caddy?"

>What are you doing? I don't get it...

"I'm just saying, fighting is- HEY

[AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA! YOU WISH TO BAAAAATTLE, PAPERSECTIA!? THEN BEHOOOOOOOOLD! MY TWISTED MANE OF MADNESSSSSSS!]

"PUT ME DO-HEY!"

*CRASH!*

"NOT FUNNY MAKE IT STOP-"

*SMASH!*

"THE SMASHING ISN'T TOO BAD BUT I AM GETTING SI-"

*WHACKWHACKWHACKWHACK!*

{Maney! NO! Put 18 down!}

[AAHAAHHAHAHAHH! BUT THE EMPRESS OF THE FORMS WISHED TO BAAAAATTTLLLLE!]

{Battle over, you win!}

[OH!... Okay!]

*WHUMP!*

"...I feel dizzy..."

>You deserved it.

"You know, I kind of did."

>Oh hey! Poindexter! When did you and Mane-iac start hanging out?

{Uh, you know, just met up with her, saw she was alone, wanted to... you know, hang out? We never hang out.}

>Ahhh. Well, if I were you, I'd hang out over on the west end. Beautiful view, you know.

{R-REALLY!?}

>Gorgeous.

{...Hey, thanks! Come on, Maney! Let's go check it out!}

[INDEEEEEED! HAVE A FUNMAZING TIIIME! QUEEN OVERTURE! WE RIDE!]

{WHEEEE! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!}

>Have fun... and good luck, you little nerd.

"...I taste my lunch."

>How about that.

'...Oh, hey! Is that Mane-iac over there? Come back! We need to-... is Poindexter with him?'

>Don't worry about it.

'...Huh, are we in front of the tilted-tree? When did that happen?'

>Just roll with it.

'...HOLY CHITIN! 18!? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?'

>Just. Roll. With. It.

'...Really?'

>...

'...And roll with it I shall.'

"Word of advice, never use my advice. It is apparently painful, to me."

'...Then how am I supposed to use your advi-'

"JUST DO IT!"

'...I don't know what's real anymore...'
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>Spike
"DT"
'SS'
~~~~~

>I can't beleive you!

"If that's true, we clearly do not know each other all that well."

'Even I saw that coming.'

>YOU BLEW UP THE SHOOT THE DUCKS STAND!

"No, it was a concussion based explosion, which means it was blew OUT, not up. No fires involved at all. And hey, I just used what they gave me."

>HOW!?

"Chemistry is an amaaaaazing thing, Spike."

'Then how are you failing it?'

"Silver Spoon, I don't even think I've actually written anything on any of those tests in months."

>You're going to ruin your education.

"Oh no! Then all I will have to fall back on is my influence with the government as an agent working for their interests, my connections with higher officials, and my vast knowledge of every kind of explosive chemical! Oh woe... oh, wait, I'm also totally loaded. To the gills."

>...

"...With bits."

'We get it.'

"Just saying, my daddy has put enough assets back to make sure I am fairly secure up to old age and beyond."

>I'm happy for you.

"You should be. Who knows, I might share it with you someday."

>I'm good, thanks.

"You say that now, but the allure of, as daddy would put it, a happy-load of money is very tempting."

>I'll manage, thanks.

"..."

>...

"...I'm way richer than you-"

>I KNOW!

"Oooo, it feels good to say. I'm also richer than Applejack... oooh, yeah... I'm richer than the whole Apple family... mmmmm... yeaaaahhh.."

>Are you richer than Celestia?

"...Someday..."

>Well, that's horrifying.

'Yeah, DT, I'm always on your side, but please stop with the creepy smile... it's creepy.'

"...Sooooomedayyyyyyy..."

>Should I be afraid?

'Very.'
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NC addition
>Attendant
"Attendant 2"
~~~~

>...Is it just me, or did that rocket launcher turn on?

"It... it looks like it grew a little bit..."

>...Do you smell smoke and roses?

"I don't think the manual covered this."
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>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~

>Ah'm not likin' our chances here.

"I just have to roll one more strike, and we win the friendship necklace! ONE MORE, APPLEJACK!"

>That would mean a whole lot iffin' ya' had managed to throw literally anythin' else but gutterball after gutterball. Just sayin', Ah'd feel better iffin' ya' managed ta' hit them once.

"I was luring them into a false sense of security!"

>Not even gonna pretend that makes sense, are ya'?

"You hush, I'm doing this for us! It's a little apple, Applejack! It's a little golden, gem studded friendship necklace that makes an apple! It's relevant to both of our interests!"

>...It does look kinda nice...

"Then for our relationship, believe in me!"

>Alright, fine. Ah' believe in ya'.

"Don't go short, sell it! Sell me on the dream that you believe in me!"

>Ah do.

"Sell me!"

>Ah' do!

"Make me feel it!"

>COME ON, RARITY! YOU KNOCK DOWN THOSE PINS! YOU MAKE "EM SCREAM FER' MERCY!

"YEAAAAH!"

>YEAAAAAAHHH!

"CHUCK!"

>...
"..."
>...
"..."
>...
"...Shit."

>Wanna go again, don't ya?

"WE MUST!"

>...And that's how Equestria went broke.

"IF THAT IS WHAT IT TAKES!"
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Meanwhile, miles away

{YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!}

[Bulk, what the fuck!?]

{...I dunno...}
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>32
{???}

32 pants as he walks under the unyielding heat of the sun. His ragged stetson gives him little relief in his trudge over sand and rock. The battle saddle, with its two rusted and useless revolvers hanging limply from its side, was a dead weight he wished he could wriggle out from, but in his head the compulsion to walk kept him going. Even as his hooves burn and his eyes sting, he keeps going.

>Frankly this would be easier without SOMEONE'S input...

{What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony rubbish? Son of drone
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats...}

>I always held an appreciation for T.S Fillyiot...now? Not so much.

{And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock}

32 blinks, indeed, there was such a red rock standing in the midst of the desert where he had been certain there was nothing. He tilts his head, slowly approaching it.

{Come in under the shadow of this red rock
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.}

>...well that sounds inviting...you just wanted that one line, didn't you, you fucker?

{I'm practicing emulation of your longwinded unnecessary turn of phrase. With time I'll cut it back and do away with it entirely. This is is one of the many weeds you let grow on your soul, and it is entrenched quite heavily, it requires a slow coaxing from its resting place...though I did not mean for an actual red rock to show up.}

>So what, it's collateral dreaming?

{I like to think it's a sign my change in management is succeeding. Now keep walking, little bug, my work must continue.}

>You are rapidly climbing towards the top of my 'this person needs to die' list.

{I'm aware of this list, myself, the Queen-traitorous filth-, the writers of the Power Ponies reboot, whoever wrote the Chrysalis/Shining Armor romance story, whoever wrote the changeling bondage torture tale-actually agreed there-, Chitania?}

>She ate my best friend!

{The best friend you made without any order to do so, disgusting.}

>Fuck. You.

{-and...oh...ohohoho...ohhhh High Roller, hm?}

>Yes, High Roller, he's the reason I'm here in the first place!

{Well if it's any consolation, the second I take over this body, the first step in my plan to rejoin the Hive is to expose him for the enemy agent he is and do away with him in the fashion he deserves.}

>Grand...

{And just a little bit here...and a little bit there...aha! Finished.}

>Finished what?

{Well you didn't think I'd torment you in this hellscape forever, did you? No, no I need to analyze all the things that makes you what you are, so that I can copy and eventually replace them. I hope you enjoy this little...scenario I've cooked up...}

>Scenario, what scenari-?

He blinks, and the world is different.

He is different.

There is darkness, but not the darkness he knew in the dreamscape, this was a familiar darkness, a darkness he had spent so long in. Fighting, building, ruling...

>The caves...

{Now the memories...}

Pain wracks his body, his entire existence is being overwritten like a save file in a video game, he is no longer what he was, he is what is required of him.

32 the Survivor opens his eyes, shaking his head, clearing the cob webs. That was a bad cave in, an amateur mistake to fall for such a trap. Morlocks were getting better, no doubt about that.

A scream cuts through the silence as he takes inventory of himself. Not the scream of another Morlock caught in his traps...a different scream. A changeling scream. He runs for it.
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>Mayor Mare
"Trixie"
~~

>WOOOOOO! This is EXACTLY what I needed! No worries, no work, no tasks, just some good old fashioned roller coaster rides, bumper cars and bumper cats!... Still not sure how she pulled that one off...

"Well, at least one of us is happy."

The mumble was nearly inaudible, but it was just loud enough to notice the blue unicorn sitting at a table with some kind of drink in her hooves.

>Trixie! There you are! Been looking all over for you guys. Have you seen the poprock show? You NEED to see that poprock show.

"..."

>Awww, what's wrong?

"The Great and Powerful Trixie... might have gotten shown up, just slightly, and now she feels not so great and slightly less than powerful."

>Oh... well, you know, you can't let this get you down! You just need to get back on your hooves. I bet 29's got a whole slew of new dialog, let's go find him and see if we can get you back in the swing of things!

"Feh, like he'd cheer me up."

>Hey now! No! You do not talk like that about Niney, okay?

"Why do you even care if I'm feeling down?"

>Because...

"...See, can't even-"

>Because I was pretty much the same, a couple months ago.

To Trixie's surprise, the other mare sighed, and took a seat.

>Look, I... I'm not a great mayor, okay? I'm not. I mis-alocated funds, I delayed projects that needed to be done because it was too hard, and I relied on six mares for... pretty much every crisis. I wasn't very good at my job.

"...Yeah?"

>And after Spike came down and, uh... let's just say 'persuaded me' to do a better job, I just got really depressed, you know? I was so bad the princesses apparently sent someone to threaten to shoot me over it. Can you imagine? The princesses NEVER order even the giant evil monster killed, and somehow I was on the 'shoot in the face' list. Not even fired, shot with a gun. That's...

"...Little hard to believe."

>Right? Maybe he wouldn't have, I don't know. But still, that he had to say that at all...

"So what did you do?"

>Me? Panicked, freaked out, realized I was shit, got drunk, passed out in my office, and eventually ended up doing a terrible job.

"And yet, still employed. Politics!"

>...

"Please, continue. Trixie is feeling second hand joy from this."

>Anyway, then... then Niney came along. I offered him the job mostly for uh... less than stellar reasons? I mean, he could organize fine, but uh... more for other, shameful reasons.

"...Ew..."

>Hey, he spent his whole life preparing to fulfill fantasies... and boy can he...

"Eeeeewwww..."

>But more importantly... he really cheered me up when he started working for me, you know? Stuff was going right for once! I as getting things done, and he bopped me on the head when I tried freaking out, and chewed me out when I tried to drink at the office. And he did it all in sexytalk, even! It felt like for the first time, I had a friend who was really looking out for me... you know? Like there was someone finally there who just...

"...Yeah?"

>And guess what? It worked! I handled a crisis! ME! I drove off the robots without any deaths! I actually rallied ponies together and DID something! Mayor somethings! And then I did it again when Chitania tried to attack! I felt like...

"...like?"

>Like I finally deserved the job, you know? Like my Cutie Mark finally FIT, you know?

"This is all very nice, but what does it have to do with Trixie?"

>Because you need someone to push you back into being the showstopper you can be!

She hopped to her hooves, and pushed Trixie out of her chair.

>Come on, let's go put on a really fantastic show, or something. OH! Let's go get Zecora! She is great with illusions! OH OH! We can do a whole act, maybe one of the kids wants to see it? Couldn't hurt to ask! So... what do you say?

She looked so excited...

Damn it.

"...Trixie does not need your help!"

>...

"...But just this once-"

>AWESOME! Come on!

"Do not pull Trixie!"

>You can just say thank you.

"...Thmhnm..."

>Anytime.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cadence
"18"
'42'
[???]
{???}
~???~
~~~~~~

>Do you think they'll make a cute couple?

"Chrysalis will murder him. I'm not even joking, if he tries to get fresh with her, she will find him, she will rip his head off, and she will dine on his nerdy brain."

>Oh, she will not.

"..."

>...42?

'If her Majesty wishes him dead, I will make sure to clarify with her all the possible negative outcomes.'

>I'm noticing a lack of "I'll talk her out of it'...

'...No comment is available at this time, please reconsult your designated punchbug at a later date, when more information has been acquired.'

>But I'm sensing such chemistry!

"I don't know, they didn't feel like they rated over a... what did you call it? Tangerine?"

>Oh no, certainly not as high as a tangerine. They're at a nice healthy mauve, actually. Could definitely grow.

"I doubt it's mauve. It felt like a magenta, minimum."

>Well, I would have to get my instruments to be sure, but I'm smarter than you here, so I don't need to in order to know I'm right.

"Pfft."

>Oh yeah!? Bring it!

"Those two over there."

>EASY!... uhhhh... OH! HOLY CRAP! A salmon!? A FOODY DOODLY SALMON!?

"No way! No way are they at a salmon. They're not even at a coral. You have to be wrong."

'...I am so lost...'

>I am so right!

"WRONG!"

>RIGHT!

"Baloney! If they were a salmon, they would be all over each other!"

>Maybe they are, you don't know!

"Okay, fine! If they're dating, then you're probably right. If not, I'm right. If you win, I'll find funds to get you everything on ONE page of your next months catalog. If I win, I get to go down the tunnel of love with Shiny"

>YOU'RE ON! Prepare to put in some overtime!... Excuse me, good sir!

[Princess Cadence!]

>Yes yes, you don't have to salute, not necessary.

[It is entirely necessary!]

>At ease, or whatever. Anyway, I just wanted to ask you... I said at ease.

{I uh... I'm not saluting you.}

>You don't have to salute her, she's not actually me, I'm me.

{Not 18 either, actually.}

'...What, me? Why?'

{Well, I know I'm not a soldier class, but still should show some respect... because he's doing it, and I don't want to feel dumb.}

'...OH! You're a changeling?'

{Uh.. yeah, disguised, actually.}

'Why?'

{Felt like it?}

>Pfft, you hear that? That's the sound of me about to WIN! You, soldier, you're obligated to answer whatever I ask, right?

[Yes ma'am! On duty or not, my loyalty is the same!]

>Great! Are you two dating?

[...WHAT!?]

>Is he your coltfriend.

{HE IS NOT MY COLTFRIEND!}

>...

"BOOOOM! OOOOHHHHHH! WHAT!? WHAT!? YOU HEAR THAT!? DO YOU HEEEEEAAAAAAR THAT!? GO EIGHTEEN OH HELL YEAH! GO EIGHTEEN! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME!"

>I... I lost!?

[I'm lost too.]

{Me too. Do mares really bet on if they think random guys are dating?}

[Maybe just her?]

{We might need to farm this question out.}

"WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!?"

>...NOOOOO!

'This is... just... so embarrassing. For everyone. This is a dark spot in my life, I want you all to know this.'

"OH YEAH!"

>-OOOOOOOO-

'...Are you going to talk?'

~...Meep...~

[M-MY SISTER! Yes! She is uh, very shy. Yes. Veeeerrrryyy shy. Does not like talking to... anyone. Nope.]

{W-we're working on it!}

'Why are you stuttering?'

{...Second hand embarrassment for those two?}

"GIMME A HELL! GIMME A YEAH!"

>-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

'...I see no reason to doubt you.'

{So can we go, or...}

'Please. Just... please.'

[Can do! Come on, Jugglejack, Aaaaa.... meila! Yes! Come Amelia!]

~M-meeeeepppp....~

*They bolt*

{I'm going to piss myself.}

[I don't blame you, she is really fucking scary.]

~Meeeeeeeeee~

[You said it.]

'...Huh. Nothing about that seemed off at all.'

"UH! UH! UH! UH!"

>-OOOOOOOOOOOO-

'...This is going to be a looooong day.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
“Rarity”
‘???’
______

>Here ya go, ya little apple fritter.

‘Awwwwesome! Thanks, apple princess! Your wings are really pretty, just like you!’

>…Flattery won't get y’all another stuffed toy.

‘Drats!’

>Oh what the hay, ya made me laugh. Take this’n.

‘Yaaay!’

Standing next to a huge, empty barrel that used to hold a multitude of apples, Rarity watched with some amusement as Applejack, surrounded by a crowd of 'squeeing' colts and fillies, handed out toys of all kinds for free.

Of course the apple mare would be good at bobbing for apples. That was expected. What wasn’t expected, however, was for her to play the game over forty times straight, successfully nabbing an apple each and every time. A little over half an hour later, Applejack had effortlessly amassed a tower of toys behind her.

>An’ you in the far back, wit' the little cap on... which one do y’all want?

‘The zebra!’

>The zebra what?

‘...Oh! The zebra, please!’

>Better. Here ya go.

‘Thank you, princess! I’m gonna snuggle it every night!’

A giggle escaped Rarity’s lips despite best efforts at hiding it. But honestly, seeing her friend nearly engulfed by a sea of foals was adorable.

The sun was a far bit lower in the sky by the time all the toys had been dolled out and Applejack watched the last filly happily trot off with a distant smile.

“Sweetie... you know I’m going to ask.”

>Ask what, Rars?

“Why did you go through all that trouble, dear? Such a gesture goes above and beyond the plane of simple handouts. Hell, you almost put me to shame and generosity is supposed to be MY thing!”

The two friends shared a little laugh together and Applejack lifted her hoof, that silvery band still as resplendent and spotless as when it was first given to her.

>Well, why would Ah need those… when Ah already have the perfect gift right here?

"True. Very true. But, uh... can I see it for a second?"

>Not on yer' life, Rars.

"Drats!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Twilight"
'Celestia'
[2]
~~~~

>The "Spine-cracker?" I don't know...

"What? What's wrong with it? I think it looks like fun."

>It looks kind of dangerous.

[AWWWWW! Ya' keep sayin' that!]

"..."
'...'

>...What?

"We can heal from pretty much anything."

'And are crazy durable besides.'

>...Well, Two is-

"Probably nearly indestructible, much more so than us."

'And we are durable.'

[I bit one'a Diamond Tiara's grenades yesterday.]

>... You are making it very hard to be over-protective of you girls.

'Dawww!'

"Love you too, BBBFF."

'But seriously, relaaax. It's not going to be around forever, why not enjoy it while it lasts?'

>...Heh, guess you're right.

[YAAAY! Come on Auntielestia and Twi! Let's get our spines cracked... whatever that means!]

'We are an amazing influence on her growth, I feel.'

"Positive role models."

The trio giggled as they got into line, too caught up in their banter to notice Shining Armor hanging back just a bit, staring up at the ride with a strange look in his eye.

>...Yeah... I guess you're not going to be around forever either, are you? Guess I better just...

Slowly, his eyes trailed down to them once more.

>...Just better enjoy it while it's here...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>???
"SA"
~~~~~

He watched from just behind the alabaster stallion. He watched as she, along her precious protege and too-fucking-cute-for-words niece got in line for this... this 'Spine-Cracker'.

Because that didn't sound ominous or foreboding or just inherently off-putting in the slightest.

>And you're just going to let them get on this contraption?

Shiny answered without looking back, without even a change in his facial expression.

"You take one look at their faces and tell me you could say no. Look at those smiles. Could you do it?"

>Of course I could.

"And that's why you're in the position you're in and I'm here. There's a difference between protection... and withholding."

>Implying you know the difference? Remind me who was crying tears of liquid pride and holding onto their daughters legs, begging her not to go to her first day of school?

"Okay, two things. First, if I catch you spying on my castle again, we're going to have a nice, long chitchat. Second-"

Deep inhale.

"-I only did that because she's my daaaaahahahahaughteeeeerrr! She's so small and cute and my God I don't want her to go on this scary ride but she really wants to and I know she'll wibble-lip me to heck and back if I stop her and then when we get to the hotel she won't play patty-hooves with me and sulk with a marchmalley in the corner and-"

The cloaked stallion gave Shining a slight push forward.

>Stop it, just... stop. If I have to listen to another word of your inane father-complex issues, I might lose it. Go then, ride it with them. Keep my Queen safe.

"You can come along too, you know."

>...We each have our role to play, Shining Armor. Some, like you, get to bask in full-view of the sun, while some, like me, have to stay behind it, in the shadow.

And the presence behind Shining vanished without another word. The King of the Empire sighed and started in after his family.

"Years later, I still say you're wrong.... Hm. Better put up a shield just in case...."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
{???}
~~~~

>...Oh, haha, very funny.

{CRUSH! THEM! ALL!}

>No, really, this is adorable. So very, very adorable. So adorable I totally don't want to smash it- STAY THE FUCK STILL!

{CRASH! CRUSH! DESTROY!}

>I never even said that! Where are they getting these soundbites from!?

{GRRR! CRUSH IT!}

>Do they think I'm a cavepony? Is that it? They think I can't talk? I AM FUCKING ELOQUENT AS FUCK.

{I WANT TO SMASHA CRASHA!}

>That's just moronic!

{CRUSH! SMASH! LEWD!}

>...Wait, what was that last one? Don't you stomp off! Come back here! What the fuck did you just say!?

Paying her no mind, the tiny, seemingly moving all on it's own toy figure of Chitania walked off, growling out more catch phrases the whole way.

>...This is not how I thought my legend would be immortalized...

{Let's fly to the castle!... AND SMASH IT!}

>...Mostly.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________