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Oct 16th, 2016
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  1. Table of Contents (ctrl+f the titles to find the stories)
  2.  
  3. Lynncoln
  4. Luancoln
  5. Wheels
  6. Lynn Doing What She Does Best
  7. Leni Abuse
  8. Linka Abuse
  9. Royal Oaks Writefag Massacre
  10. Lisa Abuse
  11. Of Mice And Len
  12. Leni Discovers Herself
  13. Yuletide Log
  14. Make It Wit Chu Alternate Ending
  15. Lynndog
  16. Why Ronnie Doesn't Come Over Anymore
  17. Taste Test
  18. Sick Air, Bro!
  19. Applicability
  20. Making Magic
  21.  
  22. ---
  23.  
  24. Lynncoln:
  25.  
  26. >"oh lynn i luv u even though we r brother n sister"
  27. >"me 2 bro"
  28. >then they fuggled
  29.  
  30. Luancoln:
  31.  
  32. >The setup doesn't really matter.
  33. >Maybe it started off as a joke that went too far, or maybe it was just sexual experimentation.
  34. >All that matters is that Lincoln somehow ended up in Luan's bed
  35. >Luan somehow ended up underneath him.
  36. >On sudden impulse, she'd kissed him, and he reciprocated.
  37. >In a split-second Lincoln was inside her.
  38. >and he was running his hands everywhere he could reach
  39. >and she was holding him tighter, trying to push him into her womb
  40. >until neither of them could stand it any more and they pulled away
  41. >as they rode out the shuddering, almost painful orgasm.
  42. >So they lay together, breathless and stunned
  43. >And Luna peeks her head down from the top bunk.
  44. >"Nice work, dudes! I knew you had it in ya!"
  45. >"High five, come on!"
  46. >So they all high fived.
  47.  
  48. Wheels:
  49.  
  50. >It happened like this:
  51. >Luan sat alone at the cafeteria table, as per usual
  52. >The boy rolls up and asks "Can I sit here?", smiling.
  53. >Luan points out that he can sit anywhere he wants and immediately regrets it.
  54. >He laughs anyway - a genuine laugh, not the rueful chuckles Luan is used to - and he places his wheelchair next to her
  55. >She offers him one of her oreos.
  56. >He graciously accepts
  57. >And she watches him.
  58. >He is methodical.
  59. >He pulls the two halves apart
  60. >He eats the filling in the middle
  61. >and he eats the cookies afterwards.
  62. >the same way Luan does.
  63. >This was how Luan and Jesse met.
  64.  
  65. Lynn Doing What She Does Best:
  66.  
  67. >It's the twins' birthday
  68. >Lynn has bought Lola a fancy perfume, but isn't sure what to get Lana
  69. >Finally she has an unusual idea.
  70. >For the weeks leading up to the big day, she has been steadfastly consuming meatball subs
  71. >When Lola and Lana's birthday comes around, she heads right up to the bathroom and unleashes the fecal holocaust she has been building up for the past month
  72. >The john is almost irreparable.
  73. >Lana is thrilled to be able to tackle such a daunting and extensive plumbing job
  74. >It's the greatest birthday gift she's ever gotten
  75. >Rita is proud that her daughter takes after her so well.
  76. >Lynn Loud Sr. cries and wonders how his life has become what it has become.
  77.  
  78. Leni Abuse:
  79.  
  80. >"Lenore Loud, come here."
  81. >Leni knew what her father was going to say.
  82. >She knew her grades were unacceptable.
  83. >Still, she couldn't hide from him forever.
  84. >She slowly began the death march toward the table where Mr. Loud sat.
  85. >The results of her recent English midterms were in his hands. 23%
  86. >He sighed a longer and heavier sigh than Lucy could ever perform. "Leni, this is a disgrace."
  87. >Those words were venomous to Leni. She tried to shrink away from them, lowering her head and bowing slightly.
  88. >"I- I'm sorry dad. I really tried this time. I studied, like, all the time. I really-"
  89. >Her father slammed the papers down, startling her. "No excuses, Leni! These aren't Loud Family grades. I don't care if you think you aren't smart enough to get good-"
  90. >He caught himself too late. Leni caught every ounce of his meaning, and he was instantly regretful for having said it.
  91. >"Leni, I want to say-"
  92. >"No," she said, heartbreak audible in every syllable. "I get it. It's my fault. I'm sorry I'm so stupid."
  93. >"No, Leni, it's not like that-"
  94. >Leni shoved past him with one hand and tried to cover her tears with the other. "I'm going to my room!"
  95. >"Honey, wait, please!"
  96. >Mr. Loud heard the door slam far away. He exhaled sharply and began to look over the test papers again.
  97. >"I wonder when she'll realize she went into the basement," he thought.
  98.  
  99. Linka Abuse:
  100.  
  101. >For the forty-second time in ten minutes, Lane Loud adjusted his tripod.
  102. >This setup had to be perfect. This is not the kind of prank you can pull off more than once.
  103. >He stood in the backyard of the Loud House. The camera was pointed in the direction of the back porch, its door slightly ajar.
  104. >Double check - alright, lens cap IS off, good to see that.
  105. >He stands in front of the camera, slicks back his hair, and begins his intro.
  106. >"Hello, friends and fans! Lane here with another high-quality prank video."
  107. >"Now," he continued, gesturing when appropriate, "I'm sure you all know by now how much of a jackass my older brother Luke can be. Well, let's just say he's gone too far this time. So now I'm gonna get him back."
  108. >"Here's the prank that's sure to cement me in the comedy hall of fame - positioned above this door is a bucket filled with quick-drying concrete. I'll call Luke out here, and once he opens that door, the mixture will splatter on him and make him into a statue! I'm sure he'll be stony-faced after that, ha ha! So now..."
  109. >Lane yelled towards the house. "LUKE! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE, RIGHT NOW!"
  110. >The doorknob turned. Lane lay in wait, a sadistic grin lining his face...
  111. >...which immediately fell once he saw his younger sister open the door.
  112. >"Lane," she said, unaware of the doom that lay mere feet over her head, "you know Luke's at that stupid concert today-"
  113. >The bucket tipped over and fell - like in slow motion - onto Linka's cranium. Instead of splattering all over her clothes with a pleasant, Double Dare-esque effect, it merely clonked her with a deep, hollow thud.
  114. >She fell like a lead balloon, face-down on the porch. Blood stained the steps.
  115. >'Huh,' Lane thought. 'How long did I have that quick-drying cement in the bucket for?'
  116.  
  117. Royal Oaks Writefag Massacre:
  118.  
  119. >Drawfriend ran.
  120. >He stumbled down the hallway, his breath ragged, his feet carrying him farther and faster than they ever had in his life.
  121. >His lungs were screaming, his heart was ready to burst, but he knew that if he stopped running it'd be over.
  122. >How had it happened this way? They thought they'd performed the ritual correctly. They thought they'd done all the rites to bring a real Lincoln Loud into the world.
  123. >They hadn't intended to summon Postal Linc.
  124. >Cell was the first to go. A clean blast from a sawed-off shotgun took care of him. He never even realized what had happened.
  125. >The Lad was next. The man was arrogant enough to believe that his body was impervious to bullets. His theory was violently disproven.
  126. >Cedric tried to flee, but Lincoln filled his legs with buckshot and he collapsed. His blood stained the floor the deep crimson color of cherry pie.
  127. >Postal Lincoln reloaded and continued his rampage through Writefag Headquarters
  128.  
  129. >Ballio, BANG!
  130. >Perimity, BANG!
  131. >PanicAttack, BANG!
  132. >Geenymous, BANG!
  133. >TeeJayAndAnon - eh, that's not such a big loss - BANG!
  134. >Emmay, BANG!
  135. >Writefags you'd never even heard of were dropping like flies.
  136. >Lincoln continued relentlessly, with a wild conviction in his eyes as he pulled the trigger.
  137. >Writefag and Abuseguy chose to commit mutual suicide than die at the end of Lincoln's gun barrel.
  138. >They swallowed a handful of pills each and died holding hands.
  139. >Joseph died on the shitter. His last words were 'OH MY GO-'
  140. >Moondaffodil died of cancer because he sucks.
  141. >He was the last one left. Drawfriend's flabby body couldn't take the strain of this activity and he fell to his knees.
  142. >Footsteps thundered behind him.
  143. >Was this the end?
  144. >"You probably thought you weren't going to die today," Lincoln whispered. "Surprise."
  145. >Drawfriend closed his eyes as the bullets passed through him.
  146. >It was finished. The walls were slick with blood. Satisfied, Lincoln left to continue his killing spree.
  147. >But there was one left. One nobody ever remembered, one nobody counted on.
  148. >AlchyHolic poked his head out from behind the couch. He was the only survivor.
  149.  
  150. Lisa Abuse
  151.  
  152. >The foot came down.
  153. >Lisa gasped as the toe of Lynn's sneakers rammed into her soft stomach
  154. >She slid five feet across the room, skidding against the wall
  155. >"You little JERK!"
  156. >Lynn stomped over to the tot, grabbing a handful of her green sweater.
  157. >"You RUINED our snow day! You lied to us!"
  158. >Lisa struggled to speak. "I s-s-said I was sorry-"
  159. >Lynn smacked her. "'Sorry' doesn't cut it! Maybe it does for them, but not for me! You were trying to bully us because we liked something you didn't! Well, you can't push Lynn Loud around!"
  160. >Lynn tossed her into the dresser drawer. Vials and beakers clattered and shattered on the ground. Lisa's tiny arms feebly grasped at the empty air.
  161. >"Please, Lynn... don't..."
  162. >Lynn gave Lisa a hard kick in the chin, quieting her. All she could do now was sob silently.
  163. >"If you ever pull something like that again," Lynn spat, "I'm going to put you in the morgue. Now just lie there and think about what you've done."
  164. >She left her sister crumpled in a heap.
  165.  
  166. Of Mice And Len
  167.  
  168. >Leni was excited
  169. >Her parents had finally deemed her old enough to take on New Responsibilities, one of which was watching Lily.
  170. >She loved her baby sister dearly, but was never allowed to play with her much.
  171. >But now things were different. She had the smiling, burbling baby snug in her arms.
  172. >She rocked the little bundle of joy back and forth, basking in the quiet happiness of the moment.
  173. >"You're gonna be so beautiful when you grow up," Leni whispered, running a hand through what little hair Lily had.
  174. >At this point Lily was starting to get a bit hungry. Using the only communication tool available to her, she burst into tears.
  175. >Leni panicked.
  176. >"No, no, no, don't cry. Don't be sad! Mom and Dad aren't gonna let me watch you anymore..."
  177. >She started rocking the baby harder in a futile attempt to get it to sleep. The rough movement simply encouraged Lily to wail louder.
  178. >"Shhh, shhh. It's okay. It's okay."
  179. >Leni hugged the baby tighter and pulled her closer. She gripped Lily's head tight with one hand and supported her body with the other.
  180. >The infant was absolutely apoplectic now
  181. >Suddenly, in a fit of desperation, Leni pulled on Lily too hard. Her tiny head was twisted, and her body went limp in Leni's hands. Her cries were stopped.
  182. >Leni immediately knew what she'd done, but still spent a few moments comforting the corpse in her arms, as if Lily would come back through the power of her love.
  183. >"I did a bad thing again," Leni mumbled to herself, "didn't I?"
  184.  
  185. Leni Discovers Herself
  186.  
  187. >Lori grabbed another handful of popcorn and shoved it into her mouth.
  188. >She'd wrangled Leni and Lola into her room with some snacks and a laptop for a "semi-family movie night".
  189. >They'd poured a bowl of popcorn, popped in Me Before You, and settled down in bed to watch. Before too long they'd all gotten into it.
  190. >Some more than others.
  191. >Lori ruffled Lola's hair (with the hand that wasn't buttery from the popcorn) and allowed her eyes to slowly drift away from the handsome Will Traynor.
  192. >Leni had about a foot of space between herself and her sisters, and had curled up into a ball, intently watching the action on the screen.
  193. >That wasn't unusual behavior
  194. >The hand shoved under her dress, unfortunately, was also not unusual behavior.
  195. >Lori grabbed Leni's arm.
  196. >"Len! Earth to Leni!"
  197. >"He's pretty," Leni mumbled.
  198. >Lori grimaced, and forcefully wrestled Leni's wandering hand out from her legs.
  199. >"Are you literally crazy? Lola's right here!" she hissed.
  200. >Leni idly popped her wet fingers into her mouth and suckled. Lori sighed.
  201. >"What am I going to do with you, Leni?"
  202.  
  203. Yuletide Log
  204.  
  205. >"Hey, Ronnie. Sorry about not getting to see you today. Believe me, I've been through a lot today. If I had the time, I would have. But now I'm here, and I brought you a present to make up for it."
  206. >He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little bow.
  207. >He sticks it to his own head.
  208. >"Uh, it's me. I'm the present."
  209. >Ronnie smirks.
  210. >"You're pretty full of yourself, lame-o."
  211. >"I'm not as full of myself as YOU'RE going to be."
  212.  
  213. >She blushes. She wasn't expecting to be put on the defensive here.
  214. >"I- is that so?"
  215. >Lincoln wraps an arm around her and pulls her into a deep kiss
  216. >He's tasted these lips before, but something about them seems even sweeter than last time.
  217. >He pulls away for just a moment.
  218. >"Did you just eat a candy cane or something?" he asks.
  219. >She laughs.
  220. >"That's the first thing that came to mind?"
  221. >"I was just asking if-MMMPH!"
  222. >She pushes back against his mouth, quieting him.
  223. >Lincoln redoubles his efforts.
  224. >His hand reaches out towards her hair, and gently unties her ponytail.
  225. >Without disentangling themselves, they stumble backwards until they fall onto the couch.
  226.  
  227. Make It Wit Chu Alternate Ending
  228.  
  229. >It was the same routine.
  230. >Not every night, maybe three times a week, or four. Depending on when Lori could fit it in.
  231. >She'd sneak down the hall, down to his room - Lincoln's room. He waited for her.
  232. >He always knew when she was coming.
  233. >She'd open the door, and she'd tiptoe in, quiet a church mouse.
  234. >She'd greet him with a kiss. A small one, on the forehead. "Hey, Linc."
  235. >He didn't respond. It might encourage her.
  236. >Not like it mattered. She'd always get what she was coming for.
  237. >Tonight wasn't any different.
  238. >"Something special for you this time," she whispered.
  239. >His eyes are still closed. Maybe he'll fall asleep before this one is over.
  240. >Lori's hands grope blindly in the dark until she finds it.
  241. >"Looks like you're already excited," she coos, and gets in a good squeeze.
  242. >It's just another night.
  243. >It's not so bad.
  244. >She won't be too long.
  245. >He repeats the mantra and braces himself
  246. >And he hears his bedroom door creak open.
  247. >He dares to open his eyes.
  248. >and looks into Lori's, surprised. Her mouth is full.
  249. >and he looks up, and sees his dad in his nightcap and bathrobe.
  250. >"Lor?" he asks, dumbfounded.
  251. >She pulls herself off and tries to reorient herself.
  252. >"Uh, dad?"
  253. >Mr. Loud braces himself against the doorframe with one hand. His legs might give out. "Sweetie-pie?"
  254. >"Dad," Lori says. She swallows hard, and pauses, before continuing.
  255. >"Lincoln was raping me."
  256.  
  257. >It was hard, the first week.
  258. >It was hard the next week.
  259. >After Lori had to "go away".
  260. >Especially hard explaining it to the twins.
  261. >What was Lincoln supposed to say?
  262. >Leni had it rough. Without Lori to guide her at all hours of the day, Leni was acting ditzier than usual.
  263. >Parents didn't know what to do. Eventually they asked the MI school system to provide her with an aide.
  264. >She was always under supervision now. No free time.
  265. >Well, it could be worse.
  266. >She doesn't live here anymore.
  267. >Linc was in the kitchen, fixing himself a bowl of ice cream.
  268. >Mom didn't like him having dessert before dinner, but he was the only one in the house right now.
  269. >Plus, she'd probably let him get away with it. She's been lenient on him these last few days.
  270. >He's ready to dig in when he hears the sound of the TV in the living room.
  271. >He pokes his head out into the foyer.
  272. >It's Luna.
  273. >She has an open beer.
  274. >Guess he wasn't alone after all.
  275. >She locks eyes with him, for a moment, and then looks away.
  276. >"Bro," she says, and takes a sip.
  277. >Lincoln doesn't know what to do.
  278. >He decides to bring the ice cream over and sit down on the couch with her.
  279. >"Crazy, everything that's happened. Can't believe it."
  280. >Lincoln didn't respond.
  281. >"Best thing we can hope for is to put all this behind us, eh?"
  282. >She's offering the bottle to him.
  283. >He eyes it up and down.
  284. >He thinks about it.
  285. >He takes the bottle.
  286. >And he chugs it down.
  287.  
  288. Lynndog
  289.  
  290. >the Lynndog awakens from its long nap, full of energy
  291. >and lust
  292. >she raced up the stairs towards her master's room and jumps up on the bed
  293. >Lincoln is startled, but once he sees who it is he eases up immediately.
  294. >"Hey, Lynn. How's it going, girl?" he asks, scratching her behind her neck. "You hungry?"
  295. >She whines and paws at his crotch
  296. >"Ohhh. I getcha. Sorry for not 'feeding' you yesterday."
  297. >his hand reaches out and strokes her naked pussy. She starts breathing a bit heavier.
  298. >Lynn starts licking him as he inserts the first finger.
  299. >"It's good, huh?"
  300. >her throat's too dry to speak, but she nods, panting
  301. >"Then you're gonna love this."
  302. >Lynn doesn't expect him to fit in another three fingers.
  303. >she grinds her hips down and forces them in to the second knuckle-
  304. >-but he pulls them back at the last minute.
  305. >"Down, girl," Lincoln coos. "I know you're excited. But that's just the toy. You don't want that."
  306. >he starts to unzip his jeans
  307. >"You want a nice juicy bone, right?"
  308.  
  309. Why Ronnie Doesn't Come Over Anymore
  310.  
  311. >ronnie's hanging out at the loud house again
  312. >luna, her, and lincoln are sitting on the couch, watchin the boob tube
  313. >linc gets up to use the restroom
  314. >once he's gone, luna slides closer to ronnie
  315. >ronnie slides away
  316. >luna slides up next to her again
  317. >"Hey, love, you're like what, 11?"
  318. >"Yeah," Ronnie says. Luna's giving her a weird vibe today. Kind of uncomfortable in the room."
  319. >"you still got any of your baby teeth?"
  320. >now it's definitely a bit uncomfortable
  321. >"No..."
  322. >Luna already has one arm wrapped around Ronnie's shoulders
  323. >now she shoves the other hand into her mouth
  324. >Ronnie struggles and thrashes, trying to scream, trying to bite, but Luna's holding her down, muffling her
  325. >Luna grabs onto a front molar with her index and thumb and yanks
  326. >it takes a few tugs, but it comes loose
  327. >Ronnie is in a daze
  328. >blood is dripping down her chin
  329. >"Now, just listen up, bro," Luna says, sweetly.
  330. >"Lincoln isn't your little boyfriend.
  331. >He's mine. Now piss off."
  332. >Ronnie doesn't come over any more.
  333.  
  334. Taste Test
  335.  
  336. >"Alright Linc, you lost the bet, now you've got to put on the blindfold!"
  337. >Lincoln needs to stop taking these bets.
  338. >To be fair, he didn't think Luan really could fit a golf ball in her ear
  339. >"Alright! Now I've got a special treat for you here, and you can't take the blindfold off until you've eaten the whole thing!"
  340. >"I'm not eating dog poop again, Luan. I won't fall for it."
  341. >"It's not poop, I swear! Just - just start licking, right here. I promise it'll be good to the last drop!"
  342. >Lincoln is worried about what this joke means, but he goes ahead anyway.
  343. >feels weird. Not unpleasant, but weird
  344. >kind of like the inside of his own mouth, but tighter
  345. >and sweeter. Saltier too?
  346. >Luan is giggling. "Come on Linc, put your heart into it."
  347. >he's starting to notice some movement coming from the mystery meal
  348. >some odd noises coming from before
  349. >then something hot and bitter runs down his face
  350. >"Oh my- oh my god, I think she's peeing." Luan giggles
  351. >That's Lincoln's limit. He pulls off the blindfold and sees-
  352. >Leni, asleep, with her blinder on and her dress pulled up to her breasts.
  353. >Lincoln's head is between her legs.
  354. >she's shivering a bit from the stimulation
  355. >"Lincoln," Luan says, "You're not supposed to take off the blindfold."
  356.  
  357. Sick Air, Bro!
  358.  
  359. >Her whole life was leading up to this
  360. >Those long hours of skateboarding UP and DOWN the paths at the local park
  361. >all the little flips and kicks in the backyard
  362. >now she was finally going to achieve her dream
  363. >Ronnie stood at the top of Dead Man's Hill, eyeing a slope so steep even a champion skier would refuse to ride down it
  364. >"YOU READY DOWN THERE?", she yelled
  365. >she could just barely hear Lincoln's affirmation
  366. >she puts both feet on the board and pushes forward
  367. >down the almost 90-degree incline
  368. >instantly picking up incredible speeds
  369. >the air whipping her hair and clothes
  370. >the mach cone forming around her body
  371. >the sparks shooting out from where her wheels met the dirt
  372. >Now she could see her destination
  373. >the ramp that Lincoln had helped her set up
  374. >this was finally her chance
  375. >she angled her supersonic body towards the makeshift wooden device
  376. >and when she hit the ramp, she soared
  377. >the wind carried her higher, and higher, and higher
  378. >out of Royal Woods
  379. >into the stratosphere
  380. >far, far away
  381. >she'd finally caught the sickest air
  382. >and she was never seen again.
  383. >In the absence of his girlfriend, Lincoln hooked up with Lynn.
  384.  
  385. Applicability
  386.  
  387. >It's a lonely winter night for Luna Loud
  388. >huddled on the couch at 3 AM in front of a TV turned to static
  389. >"Hey, just because it's snowing outside doesn't mean you have to give me the cold shoulder."
  390. >Luna sighs and pulls the blanket tighter around her
  391. >"What do you want, Luan?"
  392. >Her sister sidles up next to her and folds her hands on her lap.
  393. >"Look, Luna, I know that you feel real bad about that collaboration thing-"
  394. >"It's not important anymore. It's over, it sucked, everybody knows it. You want to come over here and laugh at my failure or something?"
  395. >Luna'd come up with an idea over winter break
  396. >a "Christmas collab" with local music acts, trying to rustle up some holiday cheer and get some decent songs out of it
  397. >she'd advertised for it everywhere she could, and she thought she'd gotten some decent interest in the project
  398. >but in the end, nobody had cared about any of the songs the participants wrote, and quickly moved on
  399. >"You're NOT a failure, Luna. Don't ever say that! Just because this collab thing didn't work out doesn't mean you aren't a great artist!"
  400. >Luna groaned into her blanket. "You don't know what this meant to me."
  401. >"Of course I do. I know you put your heart into this.
  402. >But even if people didn't notice, you guys all still made great music. And that's the important thing, right?
  403. >Didn't someone tell you once that the most important thing about music was having fun?"
  404. >Luna smiled.
  405. >"I might have heard that somewhere."
  406. >"Well, come on! You've the most talented person I know, and you're going to bounce back from this!"
  407. >She slowly rose up from the couch and let the blanket fall to the floor
  408. >"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm tired, anyway."
  409. >with that, Luan took Luna's hand and led her back up the stairs to their room.
  410.  
  411. Making Magic
  412.  
  413. >Luan always has bad luck with group assignments
  414. >Like this one, for example
  415. >not only does she have to write a presentation on some backwater ancient Sumerian tribe or some shit
  416. >but she got partnered up with some foreign exchange student she barely knows
  417. >and is maybe autistic???
  418. >Luan glances over at her
  419. >she's sitting next to her at the desk, staring blankly at the open textbook, nibbling on a pencil
  420. >a few strands of blond hair fall over her eyes
  421. >Star something? Luan barely remembers the name.
  422. >Luan doesn't have a problem with kids being a bit odd -
  423. >well, look who's talking
  424. > - but she doesn't like being paired up with kids who won't pull their weight. She's clearly distracted by something.
  425. >"Pencil for your thoughts," Luan says. That one's pretty bad, even by her standards.
  426. >Her partner is snapped back to reality.
  427. >"Wha- oh, uh, I'm just looking over the paper again. Making sure we didn't miss anything important!"
  428. >Yeah, right.
  429. >"And nothing else?" Luan asks.
  430. >Star fidgets in her chair. She clearly isn't sure whether she wants to talk about this.
  431. >She removes her headband and holds it close to her chest.
  432. >"Speaking, uh, as a girl..."
  433. >This should be good.
  434. >"if your hypothetical bestie maybe kissed this girl who may or may not exist and he sort of got together with her and you possibly got jealous, what am I supposed to do?"
  435. >All said in a single breath.
  436. >Luan is no psychologist, and she's definitely not the Love Doctor. This information is a bit overwhelming.
  437. >"How pretty is she?" Luan asks, then instantly regrets asking.
  438. >Star puts her feet up on her chair and buries her face in her knees, mumbling something incomprehensible in between sobs
  439. >Luan puts a comforting arm around her.
  440. >"Hey. Hey. Don't be sad. I'm sorry. I don't know what she looks like and I don't care, you're still pretty."
  441. >Star pushes her away, tears welling up in her eyes. "No, no. I shouldn't have said anything. All I ever did was cause him trouble, no wonder he likes Jackie-"
  442.  
  443. >"Shut up!" Luan grabs her by the shoulders and stares her down. "Just because you're having trouble with one friend doesn't mean it's the end of the world.
  444. >Admittedly I don't really know anything about guys. But my sister Luna has had tons of boyfriends, so she could help you out-"
  445. >Star sniffles. "It's okay. I feel a bit better now."
  446. >"Really?"
  447. >Star flops forward and sprawls out onto the desk. "No!"
  448. >Luan pushes up from her chair and is about to leave to get her sister involved when Star starts giggling.
  449. >"Gotcha."
  450. >Luan is frozen for a moment, then grins. "I'm just glad I could make you smile."
  451. >Star wipes her eyes. "Yeah, that was a bit of an overshare back there. Sorry..."
  452. >"I want to help you though! I - does this guy know how you feel?"
  453. >"Well," Star says, fiddling with her hair, "I guess not. Even I don't know how I feel, how's he supposed to know?"
  454. >"Then you should tell him!", Luan says.
  455. >"But then it'll be weeeeiiiird. We're supposed to be friends, not... kissy buddies."
  456. >"It's clearly already weird with you two. If you're going to be feeling bad, you've got to be honest with him and tell him how you feel.
  457. >If you're really friends, whatever happens you'll still be together. I can't guarantee he'll say yes, but at least it won't eat away at you."
  458. >Star starts biting the pencil again. "But I don't know how to tell him-"
  459. >"Okay, look."
  460. >Luan unties her ponytail and adjusts her hair into something slightly more mannish.
  461. >"I'll be the guy," she says, in a comically deepened voice, trying not to laugh. "Just confess to me. This'll be practice."
  462.  
  463. >Star squints. It looks like she isn't having an easy time visualizing this.
  464. >"Close your eyes if it helps."
  465. >She does. She starts blushing.
  466. >Luan might be a little red-faced right now too. This whole situation is weird.
  467. >"Hey, M-Marco," Star says, to the air.
  468. >She slams her fist into her open palm. "I have something important to tell you today!"
  469. >"And that is...", Luan says, motioning with her hands despite Star's closed eyes.
  470. >She gets up close to her to hear Star's answer.
  471. >"I kind of, you know, maybe, uh..."
  472. >Luan puts a soft hand on Star's shoulder.
  473. >Without opening her eyes, Star pulls in for a kiss
  474. >to Luan's consternation
  475. >her eyes open when their lips touch and she instantly pulls back
  476. >Star covers her mouth
  477. >she says something, but Luan doesn't hear it
  478. >everything is going fuzzy
  479. >she'd never kissed ANYONE before
  480. >she hadn't even worked her way up to hand holding before
  481. >and now she swapped spit with a chick
  482. >fuuuuuuuuuuuck
  483. >she can't move her body, but she still smacks her lips, almost involuntarily
  484. >tasted just like cotton candy
  485. >in a few seconds she can hear again.
  486. >"I'm so sorry! I didn't - I was trying to get into character," Star explains, easing Luan onto the bunk bed. "I didn't mean-"
  487. >Luan puts a single hand up, quieting her, while she tries to find the ability to speak.
  488. >"It's okay," she says, her voice pitched up like she'd been huffing helium. "You got caught up in the moment. It's alright."
  489. >Star hurried over to Luan's desk and started shoveling her books into her backpack. "I can leave right now, I swear-"
  490. >"No, no, no, don't leave," Luan says. "It was fine. Come over here."
  491. >Star sits down at the foot of the bed. Nervously.
  492. >"I think maybe we should, uh, try practicing again. But skip the confession part this time."
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