ThePrecious: In a sense your reality as it stands now from your persepective is (to the whole being constructed comment)
Collarbone: wait what
ThePrecious: I've asked a few people what they want from life
ThePrecious: ?
Collarbone: what did they say
ThePrecious: To be happy.
ThePrecious: That's not my answer though
Collarbone: i feel like people make it seems harder than it is
Collarbone: lol
Collarbone: being happy is easy as fuck
ThePrecious: I mean, happiness is perspective.
ThePrecious: ya
Collarbone: yes
Collarbone: and not only the self-help books
Collarbone: but a lot of professionals say
Collarbone: its a choice
Collarbone: and having been able to do it
ThePrecious: To be honest, I'm not sure I'd want everyone to be happy - what if someone's happiness was to kill everyone???
Collarbone: appreciate being alive, being surounded b yloved ones, appreciate people, appreciate not being dead.
Collarbone: its so easy to be happy
Collarbone: if people were as deep as me and dint take everything they have for granted
Collarbone: zach came to visit and im so happy
ThePrecious: I think a lot of people don't realize how happy they could be until they face great loss
Collarbone: :3
ThePrecious: Now?
ThePrecious: But ya, my answer isn't happiness
Collarbone: whats your answer?
ThePrecious: Well my heart's desire in some ways has been to be cherished (not by everyone, just at least one, you know?) - to be "precious" in their eyes. Not "a precious" but "the precious". But it ultimately stems from in life me wanting to be understood+accepted when understood.
ThePrecious: First and foremost that is met via faith for me, but it stems into other areas, life
ThePrecious: how I view myself, what do I actually understand and know about myself? Do I accept myself? Sometimes I really don't... I feel like I'm contantly learning too
ThePrecious: how someone close to me views me, the world etc.
ThePrecious: For me there is sort of another pyramid (although I don't disagree with that one, which i remember now after looking over it).
ThePrecious: Being accepted by God opens me up analyzing my limits, who I am with and without God. But essentially, the more I experience God's acceptance of me, the greater my capacity to accept others, and also to accept myself
ThePrecious: sorry, I'm bungling up a little I think (a limit to typing and not talking sometimes), but ya, like you (if I'm understanding you right), what I want most in life is that acceptance.
Collarbone: sorry
Collarbone: im reading
ThePrecious: Not from everyone (although that'd not be bad)
ThePrecious: it's ok
Collarbone: i understand where youre coming from
Collarbone: so we are similar
ThePrecious: To be honest, I feel bad for not pushing you to get to work, but I'm hoping if you're more emotionally stable a little it may help. Plus I want to be here for you.
ThePrecious: I'm wondering if you'll be able to rest at all tonight.
ThePrecious: And yes, I think we are similiar in that regard
ThePrecious: I wonder if this is true for Kev too. I don't know if this is how he'd answer but I get the feeling he'd share this sentiment.
ThePrecious: Also, thanks for hearing me out when I talk about my faith too. I really appreciate your patience with me in that.
ThePrecious: I've lost friends for talking about that, and it hurts when that's happened.
Collarbone: no
Collarbone: youre th best jess
Collarbone: thank you for being the best
Collarbone: <3
Collarbone: its okay
Collarbone: i dont mind
Collarbone: talk to me bout your faith :D
Collarbone: im jus quiet
Collarbone: bc im trying to move this tv
Collarbone: zach is helping me w
ThePrecious: Oh, so you guys are in a room?
Collarbone: hes helping me
Collarbone: mount the tv
Collarbone: bc im having issues
Collarbone: but he likes my room :D
ThePrecious: Also thanks Jo - my faith is probably the most significant part of who I am now in how it touches every aspect of my life so it's nice for me to feel safe expressing that. I mean, I still express it even when not feeling safe but ya haha.
Collarbone: and i feel so stupid
Collarbone: how he can make me feel so happy
Collarbone: UGH
Collarbone: and he has a gf he does
Collarbone: its okay jess
Collarbone: my family on the east coast is religious
Collarbone: i go to church w any of them when im over there
Collarbone: and we always do grace
Collarbone: and tlak bout god and faith
Collarbone: its ok im used to it
Collarbone: like i respect it
ThePrecious: Sometimes the people that are most angry with it are people familiar with it haha, and i didn't think you'd be upset with me, but more so I didn't want to be upsetting to you.
ThePrecious: So I apprecaite you being graceful to me in that.
ThePrecious: I'll be praying for you Jo (rather, I'll continue to), that you'll find the healthy relationship you need. One that will strengthen and build you up, as well as allow you to be soft and vundrable.
ThePrecious: I would love to see that for you. Tearing up a little just thinking of it.
Collarbone: thank you jess
Collarbone: it means a lot to me
Collarbone: im soryr to rant your ear off
ThePrecious: If it's ok with you, I think I will call it a night from my end. I will be up for a bit yet (I want to watch some anime or read a little haha) so you can text me still.
ThePrecious: And no no - I didn't mind
ThePrecious: I want to be a safe person for you to express yourself with
ThePrecious: I won't always know what to say, but I'll be willing to hear you out.
ThePrecious: Also, I'm looking forward to catching up when school's out.
ThePrecious: Maybe we can have a dance party - or a fashion shoot.
ThePrecious: Oh hey
ThePrecious: I didn't say it earlier really but I totally dig this room
ThePrecious: Maybe this weekend you can show me your other room(s)
Collarbone: yes go sleep jess
Collarbone: you must be exhaustd <3
Collarbone: thank you jess, youre the best. you are a safe person to me
Collarbone: and that would be great
Collarbone: and im glad you do :D
Collarbone: yes!
Collarbone: lets hang this weekend for sure
ThePrecious: <3
ThePrecious: /me bear hugs ya
ThePrecious: Thanks Jo - I always enjoy hanging with you even in rough times.
Collarbone: /me bear hugs
Collarbone: <3
Collarbone: love you
ThePrecious: o/
Collarbone: i do too
Collarbone: thanks again for listening
Collarbone: i appreciate so much <3
ThePrecious: You're welcome, I appreciate you!
ThePrecious: Love ya lady - oh!
ThePrecious: And I'll be praying exams go well. ;)
ThePrecious: Nite! o/
ThePrecious: /me poofs