Asmonon lurking on Hellchan

from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #720
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>Asmonon lurking on Hellchan
>Sees himself in an ad
>A dick enhancement ad
>"Th1s piLl cann g3t yuu hUNg liek me!"
>Out of curiosity anon clicks the ad
>It leads to I.M.Ps website with a blitzo gif saying "Gotcha!"
"Should I sue them for using my likeness?"
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>the answer of course is always yes
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>Some weeks later Blitzo receives a Cease And Desist in the mail
>C&Ds in Hell come in the form of mail bombs that scatter little pieces of paper reading "knock it off" all over the place.
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>Blitzo opened it while having a staff meeting
>Moxxie got covered by almost all of the pieces of paper
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>It's the dry season and Loona's fur is all staticky
>Moxxie bumps into her while he's stumbling around in the aftermath
>Touches off a spark
>The paper they use for those notes is really thin, really porous, and not treated with any sort of chemicals
>Fire department gets called over to IMP's office, yet again.
>"Seriously, what's with you guys?"
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>5-06-21: the C&D incident
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>Asmonon hears about what happened on the local news
>Feels a little bad
>He's got no beef with Moxxie or Loona
>He sends them both an anonymous gift basket and a note of apology
>Blitzo gets another C&D
>Asmonon opted for the deluxe version this time around.
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>Premium CnDs are complicated contraptions
>The device has two sets of mechanical claws that restrain the target
>Another set of arms writes the entirety of the cease and desist order onto the target in permanent marker
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>"Sir?"
>[restraining laughter]
>"The uh, new body art is certainly a...bold choice."

>"Moxxie, shut the fk up."
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>"Wow!"
>"Love the new ink Blitz!"

>"Fk off Millie"
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>"Just sayin', I told you"
>"Just because Stolas begs you to fk him doesn't mean you can get away with fking the rest of the royals"

>"Loona..."
>*sigh*
>"Just get me the bleach, lets see if that'll take it off"
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>CnDs can get very deadly, what asmodanon did was very tame
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He went with the "Medium term humiliation" option and not "Bloodline ending" option
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>Sends a hellhound, a spooky dog, chocolate
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I just meant that as an exemplar. They each got personalized ones. Moxxie got a few old 45 rpm records because he's a pretentious music nerd, an assortment of high end spices, some hand-made match rounds for his favorite rifle, and a boxed set of back issues of the gun magazine he subscribes to. Loona got a large assortment of fur grooming products, expensive beef jerky, and a gift certificate to stylish occult.
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>Moxxie opens up the package and finds this with a sorry letter
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Numbers of moxxie getting nice guns