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deathproofpony

Martini 19

Aug 9th, 2012
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  1. >you are Martini. you’re a KEY LIME COLORED fluffy pony with a DARK GREEN MANE AND TAIL
  2. >your job is to give mares special hugs and then you get treats.
  3. >totally fucking awesome, bro.
  4. >today you woke up to a bunch of noise outside
  5. >you can’t really hear what it is, but it sounds like a bunch of humans
  6. >BIG MAN is late. your tummy grumbles, wanting food
  7. >finally BIG MAN arrives. he looks mad.
  8. >Frank-who-you-never-see is in the other room.
  9. >BIG MAN quickly empties poopies from litter boxes and feeds the ponies
  10. >”Have you been out there today? What a bunch of crying little bitches.”
  11. >”I came into the garage through the kitchen door to avoid them.”
  12. >”Thanks for the warning, dick.”
  13. >”They showed up like twenty minutes ago. There was no point in warning you.”
  14. >”Meh.”
  15. >”What are those retards protesting, anyway?”
  16. >”They’re saying breeders are responsible for fluffy females being raped.”
  17. >”Um. They’re fucking ANIMALS. You don’t even need a license for fluffies. And I had to get a special license for a fucking DWARF HAMSTER.”
  18. >”Tell them, Frank. I don’t need this shit.”
  19. >”Ignore them. They’ll find something else to complain about like abortion or black people or what Hot Topic t-shirt their mommy forgot to buy them.”
  20. >”HAW HAW HAW! Good one, Frank.”
  21. >”bigman, bwoobewwy need make poopies.”
  22. >”Hold on, Blueberry. I’ll… say, I got an idea. Frank… sneak up to the door and get ready to open it.”
  23. >”Aheh. I see where this is going.”
  24. >BIG MAN grabs Blueberry and tucks her under his arm, her rear end facing outward. He lifts up her tail
  25. >”Ready?”
  26. >”Ready!”
  27. >BIG MAN charges the door, yelling. Frank whips it open. Blueberry squeaks and releases her bowels while BIG MAN squeezes her belly.
  28. >a liquid stream of diarrhea sprays all over the half dozen or so protestors outside.
  29. >their trendy hipster glasses, hats and vests are now covered in stinking crap.
  30. >Frank slams the door shut and BIG MAN puts Blueberry away. He gives her a cookie.
  31. >”Good girl. Next time try to get it more in their faces. Okay… let’s do some business…”
  32. >There’s a knock at the door. It’s Jamie.
  33. >”Ah fuck. Let him in, Frank.”
  34. >”You know there’s a bunch of hipsters out there covered in fluffy shit?”
  35. >”Yep. Whaddya got.”
  36. >”Look, I know we had a bad experience with Lemondrop before, but this time I checked the fluffy…”
  37. >”Jamie, I’m perfectly capable of getting fluffies on my own…”
  38. >”But why spend the time and energy? My bowl-bred fluffies require less care. No cages. And they can’t escape.”
  39. >”Jamie…”
  40. >”Take this one as a gift. I already checked her, she’ll be a healthy breeder.”
  41. >”Looks like Lemondrop.”
  42. >”Probably a cousin of hers… although some fluffies must be genetically disposed to this pink and yellow color pattern.”
  43. >”Huh. Okay, thanks… we’ll give her a try.”
  44. >”Call me. Oh - and her name’s Fluffershy.”
  45. >”That’s fucking queer, dude.”
  46. >”Yeah, yeah…”
  47. >Jamie leaves. he sort of scares you. something about him doesn’t smell quite right. like he’s sick but doesn’t look sick
  48. >BIG MAN plops Fluffershy down on The Table.
  49. >”i wuv you! *squee!*”
  50. >BIG MAN grunts and flips over the cooing fluffy. he takes the Buzzy Tool and takes away the fluff from her groin and rear end
  51. >”why take fwuff? why? *squee*”
  52. >”Frank, I think this thing’s retarded.”
  53. >”Yeah?”
  54. >”Well, christ on a cracker… her fucking head is as big as her body and she keeps making these retarded noises. And her legs are more like flippers.”
  55. >”Beat her with a hammer.”
  56. >”Well, let’s try breeding her once and see what happens.”
  57. >Fluffershy flips over onto her belly and flops around
  58. >”wuv you new dadda! *squee!*”
  59. >”Ugh.”
  60. >BIG MAN walks over to your cage and takes you out. He plops you and legless Fluffyshy in the Special Hugs Nest.
  61. >you approach, your Special Place already starting to tingle.
  62. >”wuh… wuh fwuffy doin? squee!”
  63. >you start nuzzling the fluff around Fluffyshy’s neck. She flutters her wings rapidly.
  64. >you know Faramir, the last pegasus, is not feeling well. otherwise he’d be giving special hugs right now
  65. >you nuzzle the fluff around Fluffyshy’s rear end and groin. she starts to get confused.
  66. >”wha fwuffy doin? fwuffyshy no wike dis game! no touch bad pwace!”
  67. >BIG MAN sneers at her
  68. >”Honey… you’re about to have a real bad fucking day.”
  69.  
  70. CONTINUED TOMORROW NIGHT, BITCHES!
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