Mental block

My mindset is a very bad one for speeedrunning. Without going too in-depth, the long and short of it is I often compare myself to other runners, particularly those that are at a high level of play, and set very high expectations for myself, those expectations being to get a decent time very quickly and to not mess up a whole bunch on my first completed run. What this results in is feelings of rage when I make stupid mistakes in the middle of runs, even if said run is my first run of the category. This mindset is very deep-rooted because in my earlier years of active speedrunning (2013-2016), I was constantly getting new PBs in virtually every game I touched. This constant stream of PBs set an expectation in my mind that I should be able to play exceedingly well in virtually every speedgame I touch, and any large or stupid mistakes I made meant I was an incompetent player. What furthered and continues to further this mindset is streamers like Distortion2 picking up a large variety of games and playing at a very high level with each and every one of them, as well as high-level and popular showcases at GDQs(good examples being Celeste AGDQ 2019 and Super Mario Odyssey SGDQ 2018)that made me want to get as good as these players if not better so I can at least get some recognition.

What makes this mindset unnecessarily hard to overcome is since this mindset is so deep-rooted, my mind tends to not take any advice people give me regarding this issue to heart no matter how many times I'm given that advice. I feel like my focus on speedrunning has shifted (for the worse) to trying to get better times than everyone else and get that 1st place trophy next to my name on every speedrun leaderboard I've submitted to, when I realistically can't do it.