Kerbmun USC MD more trash but less trash at the same time

"We'll send Jenala," she mumbled to herself, "it's her data, it'll be great." Jenala made her way back up to the habitat module, muttering "sure, send the shy woman, that'll solve our problem..." Jenala stopped, looked back down the ladder, back up the ladder, and started climbing back down.

"You know what? No. I'm not going to stand idly by and watch as we plummet into a heavy planet." And Jenala, determined, began climbing down to the engine room. The hatch to the engine room presented Jenala with a brief problem. Emblazoned in red comic sans was "Absolutely no unauthorized personnel allowed" Luckily, Jenala knew of a security leak that was discovered in some of the restricted areas in the passenger section of the ship. It was patched, but Jenala figured that this hack would probably still work on the old, always-in-use software in the engineering section. Jenala addressed the MechBob terminal on the wall. "MechBob, set truthfulness to three hundred percent."

"Truth value changing to 300 percent. Working..." The terminal announced. Jenala waited. "Truth value set to 300 percent. Actual value 4294967296. Heart rate 92 BPM. The active ingredient in Kerbitol is kerbolic acid. The square root of 9 is 3..." The machine was unable to stop telling the truth, whatever truth it happened to randomly pull from memory.

"MechBob, what is the password to this door?" Jenala asked.

"The current Mesbin periapsis is 2,201 kilometers. Mesbin's average diameter is 1,880 kilometers. The password to this door is 'hashtag biscu1ts.' The periapsis of 2,201 kilometers is greater than the radius of 1,880 kilometers."

Jenala nearly missed the password, she realized that the command staff were probably running through MechBob's numbers again.

"According to all relevant data, we are not on a collision course with Mesbin. Did you ever hear the tragedy of darth..." The machine continued.

Damn, they're really caught up on this MechBob thing. I mean seriously, how can they trust such a poorly designed machine with everyone's lives? Jenala thought to herself as she punched in the password. The door opened, and she climbed down the ladder.

The engine room wasn't quite what she'd expected. It wasn't a room full of engine parts, as she had anticipated, and there was clearly no exposed reactor machinery of any kind. Instead it seemed to be a control room, with a dozen or so seated Kerbals overlooking computer screens. No one had yet noticed her.

One of the computer desks was uncrewed, so Jenala carefully and as casually as she could, glided over to the station and sat down.

The label above the monitor read "Abort Console." A sticky note attached to it read "DO NOT TOUCH, LARRY." Unlike the other computers which were all outfitted with full keyboard/mouse setups, this one simply had a big red button protected by a glass case. Upon the red button was the text "SELF DESTRUCT" and written in larger letters below it "NO."

Jenala lifted the glass cover of the case and cleared her throat. "Hello everyone, nice day we're having am I right?" She parroted from her therapist, who had told her to say something to that effect when talking to large groups.

"Who are you? Why aren't you in uniform?" Said the Kerbal next to her, before realizing which console she was at. "WAIT YOU CAN'T BE THERE."

Jenala put her hand on the button and stared, intently, at every engineer in the room. "Listen to me very carefully. You're going to perform an 800 meter per second Radial-Out burn right now, or we'll all be sorry."

"We can't just do a burn without a command," said one of the engineers. Another engineer was slowly reaching for the telephone, but Jenala made eye contact and she pulled her hand away from the phone.

"You can and you will, unless you want to see this whole mission go up in smoke, one way or another."

"What are you talking about?"

"We're on a collision course with Mesbin. The command deck is only trusting MechBob, which is mistaken, and I'm here to ensure you do the right thing."

"WHY? You'll destroy the ship!" Said one engineer.

"The ship will be destroyed anyway if we don't correct our course," Jenala said.

"MechBob has never failed us yet!" Said another engineer.

"I got in by speaking two simple commands into the MechBob interface at the door."

"Let's just take this up with the command deck, shall we?" said another engineer.

"Nope. You're going to turn this ship around and fire the engines or I'm going to destroy the engines. You have five minutes."

The engineers