[EQG]No Parking in The Faculty Lot

>Monday in Equestria
>You are Vice-Principal Luna
>Second in command to to the staff at Canterlot High School
>And there is a car in your parking space
>A *student's* car, no less; a beat up green civic covered in black trim
Come on! Who comes to school at six in the morning!?
>Normally, you'd give up and park on the street like you normally do, but you can just make out a form reaching from the driver's seat into the back
Yes!
>You put your car in park and step out, approaching the the driver's window
>KNOCK KNOCK
>The figure in the car jumps and turns to face you
>Oh great
>It's Anonymous
>He quickly rolls down the window, and drapes his arm on the door
>"Oh hey VP Luna, fancy seeing you here!
Morning, Anonymous. Do you know where you are?
>"Uhhh, school? Are...are we not in school?"
>You have to restrain the urge to smack him
Yes, you are in fact at school! More specifically, you're in the faculty parking lot!
>Anonymous looks around, glancing at the surrounding vehicles.
>"Ohhhh, that's why all the cars looked so...refined."
>He waggles his eyebrows at you as he says "refined"
>If he were less irritating, you might be inclined to blush
>"I'll go park in the student lot now. See you later, VP."
>He gives you a wink as he pulls out of your parking space
Eugh.
>During the morning announcements you remind everyone that there is no student parking in the faculty lot, as well as giving Anonymous detention

>Next Monday in Equestria
>You are Vice-Principal Luna
>Driving to the school today has you filled with joy, since you're certain that you've kept Anonymous out of the faculty lot this time
>As you drive into the lot however, these happy feelings are quickly replaced by irritation
>Your parking space is empty, but another space has been taken up by that damnable car
>After parking your car, you storm across the lot
Anonymous! I'd have thought that detention would ha-huh?
>It's Anonymous's car, but in the driver's seat is Leo, one of the janitors
I'm sorry Leo, I didn't know you had gotten a car. I thought this was Anon-
>As if on cue, Anonymous peeks out from the passenger seat
>"Hiya, VP! I was worried about my allignment being off, so I asked Leo to carpool with me today!"
>Leo nods in agreement
>Drat, he found a loophole
>Well, this is more your fault than his, you suppose
Okay. Anonymous, I'll let this slide for today only.
>"Because you've finally succumbed to my boyish charms?"
>Anonymous leans across Leo to flutter his eyes at you
>Ew.
>You look at Leo, who seems just as weirded out as you
>"Look kid, I'm okay with driving you here, but I'm going to charge you extra for this."
>Thank you Leo
No, because you'll be helping Leo clean the showers in the gymnasium after school.
>As you walk towards your car to grab your thermos, you hear Anonymous whining to Leo, and Leo asking to be paid
>It makes you feel young, again
>During the morning announcements you remind everyone that there is no student parking in the faculty lot, even if they should have carpool with a teacher

>Another Monday in Equestria
>You are Vice-Principal Luna
>And you make a darn good cup of breakroom coffee
>You're sitting in the staff lounge, looking out the window towards the faculty lot
>And you're smiling
Finally, I got through a Monday morning without having to give that dumb reminder.
>It's the first time in, well, since whenever Anonymous transferred to your school that he didn't mistake the faculty lot for the student one
>Truly a miraculous day!
Now then, you say as you reach into your bag and pull out a book, where was I?
>It's name is "Love in the Land of Dragons", some dumb, trashy adult romance "novel" you confiscated from a student
>And you can't stop reading it for whatever reason
...Strongchest sweeped Lady Breathless off her feet, carrying her into his tent...
>Oh my
>You close the book and stick your head out the window, hoping the breeze will cool away your blush
>And see an anchor smack into the pavement three feet behind your car
My baby!
>Following the rope into the sky, you see a blimp floating lazily above the school
>The words "Be Mine, VP Luna!" flash periodically on the sides
Please don't be him.
>But it is. Of course it is.
>Clinging desperately to the mooring line is your favorite green headache
>When he sees you, however, he attempts to strike a manlier pose
>"Hiya, VP!", He almost falls from the rope, but quickly regains his grip
Anonymous!? I believe I've told you NUMEROUS TIMES that there is ABSOLUTELY NO STUDENT PARKING IN THE FACULTY LOT!
>You can almost feel his intelligence-draining stare on you as he responds
>"But, I'm not parked in the lot I'm moored above it!
GET IN MY OFFICE, NOW.
>Anonymous scurries down the mooring line
>"I knew it would work! I'll be right up, dear!"
>You can feel the blood vessels in your eye slowly pop one by one as you try to plan out an appropriate punishment
>On your way to your office, you make an emergency announcement that student vehicles are not to be moored in the faculty lot.

>Monday in Equestria
>You are Vice Principal Luna
>And you are at a loss for words
>"Speechless, I know."
>You glare at Anonymous.
>Standing in front of the two of you, taking up numerous parking spaces, is what you believe to be a parade float
>And it looks like a phrase you've delivered all too often over the P.A.
Anonymous?
>"Yes, dearest?"
Why is this...thing in the faculty lot?
>Anonymous beams as he heads over to the float
>"Well you see, a lot of the students have been concerned about the strange announcements you've made lately."
>He lays a hand on the big "G"
>"And one of them told me how you never used to make them before I came here, and that's when I realized something!"
That you'll be suspended for two weeks?
>He shakes his head
>"No, silly, that you've been speaking in code!"
....excuse me?
>Okay he's dumb, but if he can pilot a blimp he must not be that dumb.
>So maybe he won't say what you're thinking he will say
Explain.
>"Yes, it took me a moment to realize it, but you are "Faculty Lot, and I am "Student Parking"! And so I decorated this float as a physical representation of our love!"
>You stand corrected
>"You've wanted me since day one, and I was too blind to see! I just hope you can forgive me, my dear."
>He closes his eyes and puckers up his lips
>Too blinded by rage to think of anything better to do, you pour the remains of your coffee on his head and make your way back to your office.
>During the morning announcements you inform the students of Anon's interactive art piece, and invite them to remove all traces of "Student Parking" from the faculty lot