I Love You Waifu

>Talking to AJ
>Apples, apples, apples, family, apples.
>Making eye contact.
>"Aww, Anon. Yer the apple in my eye."
>Petting her.
>"Ah bet you could pick a dozen apples a second with those hands."
>Complimenting her.
>"Aww, Anon, yer cuter than a bushel of apples too."
>Saying you love her.
>"More than apples? Gee, Anon, that sure is amazin'. Ah love y'all too... maybe not more than apples."
>Saying you want to marry her.
>"can we have an apple themed weddin'?"

>Talking to Ponk
>She talks at a mile a minute, something about cake and parties and dancing.
>Making eye contact.
>"STARING CONTEST!"
>Petting her
>She fucking purrs.
>Complimenting her.
>She blushes and smushes cupcakes in your face.
>Saying you love her.
>"I love you too, Nonny!"
>Saying you want to marry her.
>She runs away to plan the wedding.

>Talking to Rarity.
>She only talks about herself.
>Making eye contact.
>"Anon, stop. Staring is rude."
>Petting her.
>"I hope you washed your filthy hands!"
>Complimenting her.
>She asks for more.
>Saying you love her.
>"You're not the first, and you won't be the last."
>Saying you want to marry her.
>"You aren't a prince, darling. I'm sorry."

>Talking to Fluttershit
>She won't fucking talk.
>Making eye contact.
>She looks away, what the fuck!
>Petting her.
>She cringes and hides.
>Complimenting her.
>"O-oh... um... okay."
>Saying you love her.
>She cries and says she's sorry.
>Saying you want to marry her.
>You never see her again. She's afraid of commitment.

>Talking to Flash Sentry
>Something about corn dogs and football and stealing your waifu.
>Making eye contact.
>He smirks, your waifu has been stolen.
>Petting him.
>He's petting your waifu.
>Complimenting him.
>He compliments you on your superb taste in waifus.
>Saying you love him.
>"I love you too. But I love your waifu more.
>Saying you want to marry him.
>"Sure, I'll just add you to the collection of waifus."

>Talking to Discord.
>Holy shit you're high.
>Making eye contact.
>Hypnotized.
>Petting him.
>Now you're a lizard.
>Complimenting him.
>You insulted him instead.
>Saying you love him.
>Corrupted.
>Saying you want to marry him.
>Celestia turns you to stone.

>Talking to Luna.
>"Shut the fuck up about your video games, I don't care."
>Making eye contact.
>"Shut the fuck up about your video games, I don't care."
>Petting her.
>"Shut the fuck up about your video games, I don't care."
>Complimenting her.
>"Shut the fuck up about your video games, I don't care."
>Saying you love her.
>"Shut the fuck up about your video games, I don't care."
>Saying you want to marry her.
>"Shut the fuck up about your video games, I don't care."

>Talking to Speck.
>She makes puns the whole time.
>Make eye contact.
>She blushes and covers her face.
>Petting her.
>She skrees.
>Complimenting her.
>"y-you too."
>Saying you love her.
>She gives you a mango in return.
>Saying you want to marry her.
>She stares at you while dressed in a giant pineapple.
>"So we're not going to a fruit convention?"

>Talking to Squeak.
>"Squeak, squeak squeak. Squeak squeak squeaaak!"
>Make eye contact.
>Her black, abyssal moth eyes are like two little voids. It is unnerving.
>Petting her.
>Happy moth noises.
>Complimenting her.
>She latches to your face with a loud "fwump!"
>Saying you love her.
>She's confused.
>Saying you want to marry her.
>She's even more confused.

>Talking to Celestia.
>She listens with a smile.
>Making eye contact.
>She looks into your eyes with just as much love.
>Petting her.
>She pets you back.
>Complimenting her.
>She giggles and hugs you.
>Saying you love her.
>"Well, for a mortal you ARE cute."
>Never saying you want to marry her.
>You can't put an immortal through that pain, when you die.
>She says she wants to marry you, because you've given her so much love in such a short time in her life.
>You say yes, and every day is the best day of your and her lives.
>Until the day you die.
>She weeps for you and plants a tree where you rest.
>Every day from then until the end of time, she naps under that tree.
>With you.