A /k/osmonauts Tale

>be me
>Be /k/ommandonaut
>Be piloting transport to the Lunar colony
>Carrying a cargo of High Elf slaves
>Ship is made of old rocket parts
>The bridge is a soyuz command pod, large pressurized cargo lander docked to the front
>A small rotating section provides some artificial gravity, can't afford magnetic boots or magical gravity drugs
>Propelled by a spacex Raptor engine
>Have 2 other crewmates
>Alan and Joseph
>Joseph is the ward for the armory, armory consisting of PlasMagic Nagants, EMP grenades, MAHD's (Magical Ability Halting Darts) and other
>Alan is the cargo speciallist and lander pilot
>All of us are equipped with old Soviet spacesuits, the Orlan-M, which have the outer layer woven with  Mithril thread
>We reach the moon after a few days and go into a parking orbit
>Take the lander with the slaves down to landing pad 4
>Get paid in cash and stay to re-supply
>Get a contract to receive a shipment of weapons from the /K/lusterfuck on earth

1/????

/k/ommandonauts part 2
>Before we left we were given an industrial golem for salvaging
>2 meter tall hunk of titanium painted orange with yellow and black stripes
>our ship is also given a larger airlock this takes about a month to install
>Airlock is equipped with the finest dwarven force field projector
>Ffwd a month
>We set out into Earth-Sol Lagrange point 2 where a derelict spacecraft from the old days was waiting
>Cherry red, beat up as hell and...
>Is that a fucking car?
>/K/ube bless our sorry ship
>It's Elon's Tesla
>Look at list, it's on there
>Use the new airlock to surround the wreck in an air bubble
>Golem and Alan get to work
>First they remove the battery and the computer, there's also a strange /k/ube
>After securing the scrap to the side of the ship and strapping the Tesla to the front we head back to Luna
>Ffwd another month
>We get back and present the small /k/ube to the Colony Overseer
>It's encoded with data, he says
>We plug it into the holoscreen
>What...


>be /k/ommando in year of 2019
>Massive portal opens
>Ffwd 500 years
>Be /k/ommando in year of 2519
>Have elf wife
>2 children
>Live in a nice town in a forest
>wood elves stop by occasionally
>Then they stop coming
>A day later whole forest around us is burned to a crisp
>Some kind of hot blue shit everywhere
>Elves innavillage identify it as plasma residue from Magical weaponry
>whatthefuck.gif
>who could possibly have that nowadays
>Be /k/ommandonaut
>Be on raiding party
>Discover village of 200 wood elves
>jackpot.webm
>quickly get to firing plasma nugget at everything
>Leave with around 120 elf slaves the rest are dead
>Mfw I'm basically a space Viking