An open letter to the staff` of #redditulpas

I would like to start this letter by saying that I love this community. Really, I do. Even though there have been the inevitable conflicts between certain individuals, I found a wonderful niche. I have found some amazing friends, learned so many wonderful things, I grew, and best of all, I have Siouxsie; one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Because of this, I have tried to give back. This is not out of a desire for power, or attention, or self gratification. It is entirely out of my desire to help, because I think it is fun, and most of all, because I really like you guys.

I own and run *the* biggest metaphysical chat on the network. I mod other channels. I have donated artwork. I have created and run an alternative subreddit which is actively used *specifically* to help the community grow by fulfilling a function that we desperately needed. I have consistently volunteered and mentored people successfully. I consistently post on the sub. I have written multiple guides, which are used and referenced by many people of the community. I also run one of the most important weekly themed post, one of the only things in the sub which is pushing the boundaries of possibility and generates some of the most important dialog we need in order to grow in technique and advance making tulpas as a whole.

Considering I represent what is considered a...less than popular viewpoint of the community, I have kept the arguments and the drama to a bare minimum. I have followed the rules and obeyed the mods constantly. I have never been kicked, I have never gotten banned, and I have only gotten the smallest warnings that are a natural occurrence of "enthusiastic" discussion. Warnings that I have always complied with. I have not been a troublemaker, and in fact I was the first to deal with some of the people who have caused legitimate problems for the chats as a whole and have been k-lined. If anything, I have been helping mods enforce the rules rather than breaking them.

I feel that I can say, objectively and without ego, that in the short ten months that I have been in this community, I have improved it. I have educated, encouraged, and engaged. I have done real, solid work that the community has benefited from.

I had thought that this activity might be noticed, or, perhaps, praised. It was not my goal, nor is it ever. I tend to let my actions speak for themselves, so the very act of writing a letter of this nature is still somewhat difficult for me.

However, I did find that, with the new choices of mods in the #redditulpas channel, I found myself disappointed.

I must make myself very clear, it is NOT that I was not chosen to be a mod.

It was that I was not even considered.

Evidently, no one even said my name. I would have thought that with my credentials, I would have at least been mentioned. I have contributed more to the community than the new mods have all done together.

Normally, as I said, this would not bother me. I gladly contribute. Though the fact that I was overlooked in this has discouraged me.

I don't know what talking about this will accomplish, if anything. But I felt compelled to make my feelings of disappointment clear to you. I would be willing to discuss the reasons behind this apparent oversight, if any. I don't even care if I get made into a mod or not, but I suppose I genuinely want to know why. Has my work not been good enough, even though it has been much more than those who got the mod positions? Is it the potential of drama? I would have thought that these sorts of reasons would have been something that would have been brought up, but you didn't even mention my name. I wouldn't even be upset if I was brought up and then people argued against the idea, but the fact that I didn't even get to the table when I clearly have done, in my opinion, enough to at least be discussed.

I'm still going to, gladly, do the work that I have volunteered for. I will still contribute, because, as I have said before, I care about this community greatly. I just feel under-appreciated and unnoticed because of these actions, and because of this, my motivation and momentum have suffered. I want to keep helping the community, but if no one wants or notices that work, it is useless. It's useless work for me to do, and it's useless for the community to have someone posting stuff no one needs, reads, or uses.