Anon's magical girl adventure (shitpost, comedy???, idk)

Aug 27th, 2017
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. >>
  2. >>"I'm going to press it down as hard as I can with magic now. Anon, give it a good couple whacks with that hammer."
  3. >>"Don't worry, it's a magical artifact, I'm sure it can take it."
  6. "I don't know about this, twiggywiggy,"
  7. >"It's 100% safe!"
  8. "Are you sur--"
  9. >"YES, just do it!"
  10. "Okay, here goes..."
  11. >Grabbing the hammer with his right hand, and holding the element in place, he barely touches the star with the head of the hammer,
  12. a low 'clink' resonating inside the room
  13. >*crack*
  14. >OH SHIT
  15. >You both watch with wide eyes as a small crack appears right in the middle of the star
  16. >And grows
  17. >And grows
  18. >Until the fissure cuts it in half
  19. >"W-what did you do?!"
  20. "I'M SORRY!"
  21. >"When I said 'it can take it' I didn't mean that you should just go all in on it!"
  22. "I-I barely even hit it!"
  23. >"Oh no, oh no, oh nooo, what are we going to do?!"
  24. "Maybe we could glue it back together?"
  25. >You say as your hand reaches to it
  26. >"NO! Anon, don't touch it--"
  28. >Cue in magical girl music [YouTube] Sailor Moon S OST - Sailor Soldiers Transform (embed)
  30. >You can only scream and flail your arms around as an invisible force pulls you up from the ground and into the air
  31. >Then you start spinning, and your eyes go wide as your clothes disappear and your skin starts shining, brighter and brighter, so much that you have a hard time looking at it
  32. >"Oh no!"
  34. >"I-I, I don't know how!"
  35. >Then hard light structure appears all around you
  36. >A blink later, they wrap themselves around you
  37. >You flinch and close your eyes, expecting them to hurt you, or burn you or, you don't know but it can't be good
  38. >But you open them back up when you realize how soft and comfy they feel against your skin
  39. >You never felt something so soft--
  40. "Ahn~,"
  41. >An effeminate moan escapes your lips as the light, now finished with your legs and arms, wraps itself around your crotch
  42. >Snuggly so, not tight enough to hurt but tight enough to secure your balls in place and rub against your anus
  43. >You keep slowly spinning in the air as more and more light forms around you and wraps itself around your body
  45. >"Anon?! Are you okay?!"
  46. >You don't even think of responding to her, you're way too busy wondering if the light is going to kill you or keep molesting you
  47. >The light finishes wrapping your chest soon enough, and flows right in front of you
  48. >You watch it with wide eyes, unsure of how you can even keep your eyes on it with how bright it is
  49. >It pulses, once, twice, then concentrates and a blink later, becomes a tiara
  50. >You recoil in fear when it starts floating towards your face, but there's nowhere for you to go, and just like the rest of your body, you find out that it feels rather nice on your head
  51. >The music that came from nowhere dies in a high note, and all the light that surrounded your body flashes, forcing you to blink
  52. >When your eyes open up, you find out that the light transformed into white and green clothes
  53. >You have no idea what that kind of fabric is called, it's some kind of silk, or maybe nylon?
  54. >Anyway, it's super soft and feels super comfy, even though it's so tightly wrapped around you
  55. >And just like the light, the magic that kept you in the air disappears and you unceremoniously land on your ass, but not before eeping like a faggot
  56. >"Anon! Are you okay?"
  57. >Purplebutt comes rushing next to you, placing a comforting hoof on your knee as you still blink and look at the weird clothes you're now wearing, wondering what exactly happened
  58. "I-huh... I don't know, yes, I guess, I think I'm okay?"
  59. >You start poking around your body, making sure that you're not missing any limbs or if more appeared
  60. >Everything seems in place...
  61. >But something happens when you reach for the tiara
  62. >Upon grabbing it, you feel as if your hand passed through some kind of wall, as if you just plunged it in water, but it doesn't feel wet
  63. >But then you feel some kind of shaft against your fingertips
  64. >And doing the only thing a faggot like you would do in this situation, you grab hold of it, and pull it out
  66. >It's light
  67. >Quite literally, you're not just talking about it's weight, which is surprising since it's about three feet long
  68. >The shaft is made of the exact same light that created your clothes
  69. >You keep inspecting it for a good two seconds, before it flashes, just like your clothes did, and transforms into some kind of green wand with a star surrounded by pair of wings at one end
  70. "What the fuck is this?"
  71. >Twiggy shakes her head, obviously just as lost as you are about the situation
  72. >"I don't know, I've never read about such a thing happening in any of my books,"
  73. >Her hoof leaves your knee to reach for it
  74. >"It's some sort of shaft... it's long, and hard, how did this come from you?"
  75. "Wow, rude much!"
  76. >She blinks and pause, taking a whole two seconds for the situation to finally hit her
  77. >"I-I didn't mean it like that!"
  78. >You keep your goofy grin as her cheeks redden, but quickly decide to go back to inspecting the thing in your hands
  79. "So... what happened?"
  80. >"I-I'm not sure, but when an object infused with enough magic breaks, the mana it contains will try to find a new host and... oh no..."
  81. "What?"
  82. >"W-well, I think that you just became the element of magic,"
  83. "What?"
  84. >A loud crashing sound coming from outside makes you both jolt up
  85. >"What was that--"
  86. >"Quick, Anon-kun, the world needs you!"
  87. >The auto-tuned voice, coming from the opposite side of the crashing sound, startles you and you instantly turn to find some kind of cat
  88. "What the fuck is this thing?!"
  89. >"Who are you--"
  90. >"There's no time to waste! The forces of evil are attacking ponyville as we speak!"
  91. >As if on cue, screams of terror and more crashing sounds coming from outside starts to resonates inside of the castle walls
RAW Paste Data